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A quick analysis of how contestants tend to succeed on Survivor.
First off…
5 Main Reasons Why People Get Voted Off
(Most relevant game stages in parentheses)
1. Too big of a threat.
– Too strategic / Too smart / Too in control
– Too good at challenges
– Too likable
– Too determined
2. Too shady.
– Can't be trusted
– Too inauthentic or disingenuous
– Too ambiguous or unpredictable
– Too fickle or noncommittal
– Too cagey or guarded
3. No strategic value / Low utility.
– Being outside an alliance
– Being at the bottom of an alliance (being an easy, throwaway vote)
– No clear role or purpose
4. Bad general character.
– Too Lazy (low effort around camp)
– Too Negative or Pessimistic
– Too Disruptive or Inconsiderate
– Too Annoying or Obnoxious
– Too Conceited or Pretentious
– Too Arrogant or Condescending
– Too Awkward / Uncomfortable / Unrelatable
– Too Erratic or Volatile
5. Too weak.
– Performs bad at challenges
– Tries but fails to contribute much around camp
– Can't handle pressure
How Not to Get Voted Off (or How to Make it to the Final Three):
(in addition to having some luck…)
1. Don't be too big of a threat, especially post-merge (unless you're particularly dominant in individual immunity challenges).
2. Don't be shady. Be as authentic and genuine as possible, and be as honorable as possible despite having to inevitably lie at some point.
3. Establish your strategic value / game utility. Create or clarify your role.
4. Don't be a jerk or weirdo, especially pre-merge. (But if you are a jerk or a weirdo, make sure you're in a dominant alliance.)
5. Contribute as much as possible pre-merge. (Or remain intentionally weak, ride coattails, and step up contribution post-merge)
A Step Further…
Criteria for Actually Winning (not just making the final three)
— You must out-play people. Period. You must remain actively involved in the game, and your involvement must be more compelling than other players. The only reason that merely out-lasting people warrants a win in the eyes of a jury is if the person who actually outplayed everybody is a horrible person (eg Natalie winning over Russell in Survivor Samoa). Out-lasting is for third placers. And 'out-witting' is essentially just a variation of out-playing.
— You must be very clear about your game at final tribal. You must have a tangible account of your impressive activity throughout the game. If you aren't completely sure about why you deserve to win, the jury will immediately see weakness and shun you. You must detail how you executed your intended game strategy — how you actually played the game you wanted to play, and why your game was distinctively more effective than others'.
Winning Character: Every winner needs some degree of these 3 qualities to win over the jury:
1. Likability
You must be perceived as genuinely kind, charming, honorable, and/or charismatic. Even if you're not the most likable of the bunch, when the game play of the final contestants is similar, the jury will favor the person who is generally more likable. Ultimately, at final tribal, unless there's an undeniably dominant player (who's also not a complete jerk), it's really just a popularity contest.
2. Loyalty
When confronted about disloyalty, you must show how you were at least moderately loyal to at least a few people while also not being *extremely* disloyal to anyone. You have to form genuine bonds, but you can't under-bond and then pretend you were close to people at the end, nor can you over-bond with people only to go back on your commitments.
3. Honor
You must show that you actually have genuine principles that are reflective of your true character, and you must exhibit pride in your principles. You also have to exhibit respect and appreciation for other peoples' part in the game. You must express a clear sense of fairness, and you must prove how you upheld your integrity in some way at some point.
Approaches / Styles / Focuses of the Strongest Winners
These are mostly intentional I presume, but sometimes they may occur naturally, sort of by default.
1. Adaptability and timing. (Examples: Cochran, Denise)
General qualities of this approach/focus:
-Keen self-awareness and situational awareness
-Keen understanding of changing social dynamics
-Being involved but not taking control
-Suggestive but not forceful… not too pushy about voting one way or another
-Focus on the *timing* of your moves, relative to where you stand in the constrained hierarchy, more so than the *magnitude* of the move relative to the game in general.
[If you focus on magnitude over timing, you risk your stability within the hierarchy. A "big" move may look best in the eyes of the jury, but eliminating a threat makes everyone reevaluate everyone else's threat levels, and if you were primarily responsible for the elimination then you become even more of a threat than you would have been if that threat was voted out naturally in time. Also, knowing that you made a big move can give you a false sense of security and make you put your guard down.]
2. Calm determination.(Examples: Boston Rob, Earl)
-Deep focus on winning (not just on making final three)
-Anchoring the dominant alliance
-Coordinating votes by expressing value in others' input
-Avoiding being at the center of a tribal frenzy
3. Intimidation by an Air of Leadership and Assumed Command. (Examples: Boston Rob, Sandra)
-Establish a sense of fear of being crossed
-Establish a sense of pride in being aligned with or affiliated with
4. Obsessive Gamesmanship.(Tony, Ben, Todd)
-Constantly play the game (despite the elements, during rewards, etc.)
-Constantly be vigilant (always remain suspicious, be on the verge of paranoia)
-Win challenges, find idols, constantly seek out potential advantages and take advantage whenever possible


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A Nigerian identified as Jonathan Asemota has received encomium by the Senior Special Assistant to the President on Foreign Affairs and Diaspora, Hon. Abike Dabiri-Erewa, for his sincerity and honesty in returning QR1,502,000 ($441,127.99) about N150 million wrongfully posted into his account in Qatar.
Hon Abike commended him for a rare display of honesty and sincerity for given the country a facelift as well as other Nigerians living in Qatar. She further encouraged Asemota to continue to be a good ambassador of the country, not only in Qatar, but anywhere he finds himself. She also implored other Nigerians in the Diaspora to emulate the positive image he has given to Nigeria in Qatar.
She said…
"With this exceptional act of honesty, you have become a positive image for Nigerians and Nigeria in Qatar in the midst of bad news tag against Nigerians in the Diaspora."We are truly proud of you and urge you to continue to extol the virtues and strength of the Nigerian heritage of honesty, integrity and honour. Your shinning beacon serves as inspiration to the Youth of Nigeria", Dabiri-Erewa stated in a letter of commendation personally signed by her and given to Asemota.
Michael Asemota, a native of Edo state but based in Doha, Qatar, had opened an account with a cheque of QR150, 200 with an undisclosed commercial bank, where he is the sole signatory of the account.
Speaking while narrating his experience to the SSA during the courtesy call in Abuja, he said; "as i got back home, I received an alert showing that a QR1,502,000 had been credited into my account by mistake instead of QR150,200.
"I went to see the manager to report the error of QR1,502,000 deposited into my account. After checking for confirmation, the manager gave me a warm handshake in appreciation."Asked why he alerted the bank about the error, Jonathan Asemota said: "I knew the money did not belong to me and shouldn't be in my account in the first place, so there were no motives and temptations to keep it."
He advised people faced with similar situations to "immediately notify their bank to avoid any potential problems as the bank will eventually trace their mistake back to your account and withdraw the mistakenly deposited money."
He said that act displayed by Jonathan Asemota has given Nigeria and Nigerians a positive image in Qatar despite the wide publicity of the vices that abound in the country.
Asemota is an official of Nigerians in Diaspora Organisation-Qatar (NIDO-Qatar), the umbrella body of Nigerian residents in the country.
Abike Kafayat Oluwatoyin Dabiri-Erewa, born in Jos, Plateau State is a Nigerian politician and former member of the Nigeria Federal House of Representatives representing Ikorodu Constituency in Lagos State.

subset: commoncrawl


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Powerboat Racing Season Set To Get Underway
The upcoming Bermuda Powerboat Association [BPBA] season is set to get underway. After a team test day in April, the first race day is scheduled for May 13th at Ferry Reach. Action is expected to start at 12.00pm on race days.
Video from last year's Around The Island Race.
A spokesperson said, "The BPBA Executive has been working very hard to prepare for the upcoming Powerboat Race Season. We are working on all the coordination and logistics to see a very vibrant and exciting race season. The race schedule has been finalized.
"The number of races has been reduced in favour of having more action packed well attended entries for each of the scheduled races. Races will commence at 12pm [noon] on scheduled race days.
Date and Venue
- 22nd April – Ferry Reach – Unofficial Team test day
- 13th May – Ferry Reach
- 20th May – SPBC
- 3rd June – Ferry Reach
- 10th June – Ferry Reach Back up to 3 June
- 8th July – SPBC
- 12th August – Ferry Reach Round the Island
- 19th August – Ferry Reach Round the Island – back up
- 26th August – Ferry Reach Round the Island – back up
- 2nd September – SPBC – Memorial and National Races
- 15th September – SPBC Awards & Trophy night – social
"We are also continuing to work to make the BPBA Junior Program a reality. We aim to have five boats built for the program at a cost of $7000 each. A mold has been identified and will be brought into the island soon and we hope that construction of the boats will start very soon after."


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"Home for the Holidays" with Marcia Ball, Carolyn Wonderland & Shelley King
Add to Calendar
"Home for the Holidays" with Marcia Ball, Carolyn Wonderland & Shelley King at Antone's
Photo by Gary Miller
Limited seating is available on a first-come, first-served basis. We recommend guests arrive early for the best chance of securing a table, chair, or barstool. Antone's is ADA compliant and handicap accessible.
Antone's offers valet parking seven nights a week for $10. The valet stand is located next door at 301 E 5th, in the Eddie V's driveway.
Antone's proudly serves Antone's Famous Po' Boys from Houston, Texas in all your favorite varieties: Original, Super Original, Turkey and Swiss, and Tuna. The iconic sandwiches, created by Clifford's uncle Jalal in 1962, are available along with Zapp's New Orleans Kettle Style Potato Chips from noon-2am, 7-days a week.
Antone's Nightclub
305 E 5th St
Austin, TX, 78701


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How to deal with losing your horse
Posted in Mind Matters
It's something no one wants to think about, but at some point every owner experiences the pain of losing their beloved horse. H&R helps you make sense of moving forward
"It's only a horse." As riders and owners, we've all been on the receiving end of this sentiment. We've heard it when we've missed a social engagement to change a poultice or when we've spoken fondly of our horses' achievements, as though they're members of the family.
But this is because to us, they are members of the family, and the emotional, physical and financial investments we put into them run deep. When they inevitably leave us, either because they've reached the natural end of their full and active lives or because an accident or injury foreshortens their time, it's not 'only a horse' that we have to learn to live without. It's a bond built up over time and with great patience, a reliable comfort that we've grown to depend on and, in many cases, the crumbling of future plans. Losing a horse can also mean a momentous change in lifestyle, as horse ownership not only takes up a lot of time, but is often the root of important friendships and social circles.
The weight of grief can often seem too heavy to lift, especially in the early stages. But there's a light at the end of the tunnel – the day will come when you can look back on the memory of your horse with fond remembrance, rather than with pain, but the way in which you grieve and how long you need to feel like yourself again is personal to you.
The grieving process
Although grief doesn't follow a linear pattern and everyone reacts differently to loss, it can help to familiarise yourself with the five stages of the grieving process. You may experience some or all of these, and not necessarily in this order, but knowing that there's a root cause for the plethora of emotions and that they're normal can help you find your feet in the bereavement process.
Denial is often the first reaction to grief. You may experience it after your horse passes as an internal insistence that 'this can't be happening', or you may feel it pre-emptively if he's suffering from an illness or injury that forces you to make the final call. Denial is an emotional defence mechanism that's used by your subconscious to block out the initial pain of grief, allowing you to process it.
Anger is how the first real waves of grief are usually expressed. Once the denial phase ends and the pain of grieving begins to break through, you may find yourself lashing out at friends or family, feeling angry at yourself, or resenting your horse for leaving you or the vet for not saving him. This is often cyclical – anger will be followed by guilt, which will turn back into anger.
Bargaining is how your subconscious deals with circumstances beyond your control. It may manifest itself as 'what if' and 'if only' thoughts – 'if only I'd spotted the problem sooner', 'what if I'd done something differently', 'if only the circumstances had been different'. Or, if you're coming to this point in the grieving process prior to your horse being put down, you may find yourself trying to make deals in your head, such as "if my horse gets better, I won't get frustrated with him anymore when he misbehaves."
Depression is the emotion most commonly associated with the grieving process. It can appear in a variety of ways – you may feel worried and regretful about the practicalities and costs related to the loss of your horse, if you own more than one horse you may worry that you've neglected the others while processing your loss, or you may feel as though your life is empty or lacking in meaning without your horse. Even just getting out of bed in the morning may be a struggle and you might think you won't ever feel happy again.
Acceptance isn't a miracle cure that will suddenly make you feel alright about what's happened, but rather the recognition that life without your horse is the reality now. Accepting the truth means that you can start to be proactive again – you may think about reintroducing riding into your life or, if you own more than one horse, you may take steps to adjust your remaining horse's routine so that he can cope with the loss of his companion. The positive steps you take during this stage will help you to get back on terra firma and allow you to be happy again.
The weight of responsibility
The loss of your horse can come with complicated emotions unique to animal bereavement. If you've made the hard decision to put him to sleep, your grieving process may start from the moment the call is made. You may feel guilty or angry at your self, or worry that you've made the wrong choice. These feelings are normal and it can often help to chat with your vet to help mitigate the idea that you could have done something differently.
Helping healing
Although it can seem like the hardest thing to do, taking a proactive approach to recovery can be a huge help. If your horse was at livery, you may be tempted to ask a friend to clear his stable and pack up his belongings so you don't have to face it, but often, doing it yourself can help you come to terms with the situation. You may also be surprised to find how much support and sympathy you receive from the other liveries, giving you an emotional support system you may not have realised you had.
Coping mechanisms
Verbalising your emotions is a productive way to learn how to understand and manage them, making it a vital step in the healing process. There are several ways you can go about this and any of them, or a combination, can be equally helpful…
- chat to a sympathetic friend or family member. Talking to someone you trust and who you feel comfortable expressing your emotions in front of can help you release some of the tumultuous feelings that may build up, particularly in the period immediately following your horse's passing.
- keep a diary. Writing your feelings down allows you to express yourself without feeling self-conscious and can also help you keep track of how you're coping. You may find that as time goes by your entries focus more on recalling happy memories than on the emotional upheaval.
- speak to a professional. Bereavement counsellors are trained to understand all of the complex emotions that surround the grieving process, and can help you process and accept them. Many specialise in pet bereavement, so don't feel as though you're not eligible to speak to someone. Counsellors are particularly helpful if you really feel as though you can't cope.
Stronger together
Knowing that you're not alone and aren't being irrational can take the pressure off you to be okay straightaway. Talking to someone who's gone through the same thing can provide a huge amount of comfort.
Moving forward
Deciding to ride again can come with its own complicated spectrum of emotions. You may feel guilty about letting another horse into your life or you may find that you make unfavourable comparisons between a new horse and the one you've lost.
The key is to give yourself plenty of time. If you competed regularly with your horse, it's easy to put too much pressure on yourself to get back out onto the circuit and continue your season. But unless you're a professional rider and rely on competing to make a living, it may hinder your grieving process
to push yourself to do too much, too soon. There's no set timeline for when you'll be ready to reapproach riding – instead, listen to your gut feelings. When you feel that you genuinely want to ride again or enter a competition, do so. Don't do anything just because you feel you should.
If you don't want to take a break from horses, but find yourself struggling with guilt or other negative emotions, volunteering can be a productive way to overcome them. Spending even just an hour a week helping out at a rescue centre or RDA group will allow you to spend time with horses without feeling disloyal to your horse's memory, and knowing that you're having an impact on another horse or person will allow you to foster positive feelings about the time you spend there. You'll also inevitably become part of a small volunteer community, which will offer friendly support and a welcome distraction, and can help you to feel better through the hard times.
Giving yourself a break
The plethora of emotions that grief stirs up can burden you with a huge amount of pressure and negativity. Try to remember a few key things – you're not at fault, nor are you disloyal or heartless if and when you decide to get back in the saddle.
Seeking closure
Grief isn't a finite emotion, which means that you won't reach a point where you forget or no longer miss your horse. Instead, the healing process lets you eventually take the positives – the wonderful memories and happiness he gave you – and move forward unencumbered by the pain of grieving.
When you've reached this stage, it can be cathartic to find a way to memorialise your beloved horse. This may be a private homage, such as commissioning a portrait or having a piece of jewellery made, or it can be something that other people can share in, such as sponsoring a perpetual trophy in his name at a favourite show.
Calling for back-up
There are several resources available to offer support and a sympathetic ear as you come to terms with the loss of your horse…
- The Ralph Site is a not-for-profit online resource to help you manage the loss of a beloved horse or pet. With private forums, access to qualified bereavement counsellors and memorial pages, it's a comprehensive database. Visit theralphsite.com
- Blue Cross offers a bereavement support helpline, meaning that there's always someone ready to lend a sympathetic ear and help you through. Visit bluecross.org.uk
- The British Horse Society offers a volunteer-run scheme called Friends at the End, which operates nationally and can provide support throughout the process – you can even call upon a Friend to be there for support when your horse is put to sleep. Visit bhs.org.uk
Case studies
Sophie and Leyla
When I first got my mare, she was untrained and in need of some serious TLC. The following three years of careful training and love turned her into my dream horse, until she was sidelined by a field accident. Still lame after months of box rest, Leyla was referred to a local equine hospital for keyhole surgery to pinpoint the problem. Because her surgery coincided with an A-level exam, I didn't get to see her before she went in.
I headed for the hospital and was greeted with the words that no one wants to hear: "She's torn her cruciate ligament – she'll never walk properly again. We need to say goodbye."
Under anaesthetic, Leyla didn't look like my big, grumpy bay mare, but that didn't make saying goodbye any easier. We decided not to wake her up and she was put to sleep on the table.
The next few days felt like a blur. I spent hours going through photos and making a scrapbook of the memories that Leyla and I had made together. I still look at it regularly – I think working on it straightaway helped me to let out some of the emotional build-up and focus on the positives, such as the incredible transformation she'd made over the years.
Barbara and Oliver
I had known Oliver since before he was born – he was bred by a friend of mine and I went with her to take his dam to stud. We first met when he was three days old, then at six months he came to me for weaning. When he was a year old, I bought him. He lived with me until he was 24 – three years into a Cushing's diagnosis that accompanied painful osteoarthritis and laminitis.
When he suffered, then recovered from severe colic, we decided that the pain of his various conditions was too much and the kindest thing to do would be to put him to sleep. The vet gave him enough bute to allow him to spend the weekend enjoying the sunshine in his field, then on the Monday, we said goodbye.
The hardest part of losing Oliver was the enormous hole in my daily routine – I was so used to getting up at 7am to take care of him that I found I still had to get up and get out of the house every morning. I walked four or five miles every day, following our old hacking routes. I also went back to the yard and spent time with the horses who live in his old field, which helped me to feel close to him again. I didn't want to ride for six months and even now I would rather focus on caring for horses than riding.
I don't think I want to own a horse again, but I'd like to look after them, perhaps by volunteering at a rescue. Oliver was a cheeky devil and a lovable soul, and while I'll never find one like him, I'd like to help other horses feel loved and cared for.
Kate and Colonel
Colonel became part of the family when we bought a house and discovered that a neglected, 10-year-old miniature Shetland came with it. He was nearly feral and suffered badly from sweet itch, his body covered in open sores. Each day, I spent time in his field, bringing feed to tempt him closer. After a few weeks, I was able to catch him and start treating him. As Colonel emerged from the pain of his suffering, he turned to me as his human friend who had helped him. From then on, we shared a special bond and developed a deep understanding of each other.
One morning, 22 years later, Colonel was diagnosed with choke, which proved to be impossible to dislodge. I briefly considered the option of hospitalising him, which may have entailed surgery, but my instinct was that with his advanced years, this was his time to go. I asked the vet to put him to sleep.
With tears in my eyes, I wrapped my arms around him and shared a few quiet moments on my own with him. He died very peacefully and quickly.
The silence after he died was poignant. I still miss our little chats in the field each day and the way he used to gallop towards me, whinnying with excitement.
Colonel was well-loved by his many friends and being able to share in the wonderful memories of this truly remarkable pony made it easier to deal with his passing. Having two Connemaras at home who still needed my care and attention helped, too.
Your Comments
6 thoughts on "How to deal with losing your horse"
Beautifully written! Losing a horse can deeply affect an owner. The amount of time, care, and money they put in to the welfare of their horses is often huge. Most horse owners are proud of their horses and their achievements, and treat them as family members. So it becomes extremely difficult to get over the loss of a loving horse. The six different stages of the grieving process – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and the weight of responsibility have been explained well. A definitive guide that'll help owners deal with the loss of their horse.(bit.ly/2EsgZHD)
It can be desperately sad when this happens but if we know we did our best for the horse and gave them the best life we could then that's all we can do.
I should not have read this thing so soon. It only made it hurt more.
I lost my horse today – she was 30 years old and went down in the pasture – I had to make the decision to get her up and get her over to the vet to make sure she did not suffer and went peacefully and with me by her side. I have been thinking "was it too soon? Did I make the right decision? What if?" I lost my other horse also 30 while I was not at home – that has hurt me more than I can say – I know that I did right by my horse by allowing her to leave with dignity and without pain – but my heart still breaks everytime I look out the window and don't see her looking at me and wondering when I'm going to bring her food or a treat. I had 18 years with her, many miles of trails, many ribbons from showing – and so many pictures and memories that I will look back at with love and a little sadness. Thank you for this wonderful article
This was written very well. My horse has recently moved to Oklahoma. I know it is not the same but it still hurts more than anything that I have ever experienced. I have known horses that have died and had to be put down. It was absolutely terrible. My horse had colic twice and we were thinking about putting him down but me and my sister didn't want to so we waited and he was spared. I send my condolences to anyone who has lost a gorse one way or another. I know how hard it can be. I am here for you even if I don't know who you are and I don't know who you are. I am here for you.
This article is written beautifully. We lost our horse on the 20 th may . Reading about the other owners experience of loss helps too. I'm going through the guilt process, so finding it hard to move on. All of the " what if we did this or didn't do that " so difficult to adjust your life back to before you had a horse. So much time and devotion on a daily basis. I hope in time, I can feel happy thinking about our boy and not do sad.


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Lochs and Scottish Bothy Ride
Lochs and a Scottish Bothy
For more advanced riders, warm up with a ride to Loch Morlich through the Pine Forests and then continue on to the famous Green Lochan and then climb further across some rocky terrain to Ryvoan Bothy. Enjoy stunning views over Glenmore, Bynack and Meall a' Bhuachaille and maybe a little spot of lunch in the Bothy. This route will be around 40-50 Kilometers depending on weather, our guide will make the best decision for your group.
Please be aware that although this is route is mostly on non technical terrain it does require a moderate level of fitness. Please be aware that if you are highly experienced rider or have a high level of fitness that this may not be the ride for you. Check out our other options or book a private guided ride.
The Nitty Gritty
- Ride Time – 10.00am – 3.30pm
- Start and Finish at Aviemore Bikes Aviemore, free parking onsite.
- Please arrive 30 minutes prior to ride start time.
- Prices = £45.00pp OR £60.00pp including bike rental.
- Mountain bikes with hydraulic disc brakes and front suspension are required as a minimum for this ride.
- Over 18 years old only.
Sunday 15th April 2018, 10.00am – 3.30pm Sunday 20th May 2018, 10.00am – 3.30pm Sunday 17th June 2018, 10.00am – 3.30pm
To book please email or call us.
email@example.com / 01479 810 478 / 01479 816 212
Upon booking you will be provided with a guided mountain biking kit list and our 'what to expect on a guided ride' information sheet.


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In a case decided in March 1992, the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals cut back an award by a HUD Administrative Law Judge for compensatory damages because of sex discrimination. While affirming the ALJ determination of liability the Court agreed that "...the total amount of the award of compensatory damages was unsupported and unreasonable."
In Baumgardner v. HUD Secretary on behalf of Holley, the three judge panel reduced from $5,000 to $3,000 the damages payable "... to Complainant to compensate him for the losses that resulted from respondents discriminatory activity. The ALJ award of $2,000 to Holley for "his economic losses, including inconvenience," was cut to $1,000. The Court affirmed $500 for emotional distress. They reduced the ALJ award of $2,500 for loss of civil rights to $1,500 saying, "We have presumed some damages for intangible dignitary interests of Holley, and have allowed for his inconvenience, emotional distress, hurt, and mental anguish in the total amount of $1500 for compensatory damages.
The Sixth Circuit was troubled by several procedural errors by HUD which Baumgardner said deprived him of due process and entitled him to a dismissal including:
- HUD contacted Baumgardner about April 3, 1989 and "sent him in error a housing discrimination complaint" about a house in East Chicago, Indiana. The correct copy came six months later.
- HUD failed to send a copy of the complaint within 10 days.
- HUD did not commence the investigation until August 1989, beyond 100 days.
The Court said, "Furthermore, the ALJ found with a substantial basis in the record, that the delayed issuance of the final investigative report was due to `HUD's procrastination and mismanagement of the complaint.'"
The Court concluded, "...these deficiencies do have an adverse effect with regard to ascertaining fair and reasonable damages as a consequence of this single episode of gender discrimination." The Sixth Circuit reduced the award of damages to the complainant but not the $4,000 civil penalty payable to the HUD Secretary.
Complainant had called owner Baumgardner in response to a rental sign advertising a four-bedroom home. The ALJ determined that Holley called January 19, 1989 and was told "that he did not want to rent to males because his experience was that they did not keep a clean house." House Opportunity Made Equal (HOME) of Cincinnati conducted testing which confirmed sex discrimination. In March, Baumgardner rented the house to a woman with children.


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BANJALUKA, OCTOBER 23 /SRNA/ - Minister of Tourism and Trade of Republika Srpska Suzana Gašić stated Wednesday that tourists have lately shown interest in Srpska, its tourism potential and resorts.
BANJALUKA, OCTOBER 23 /SRNA/ - Serb member of the BiH Presidency Milorad Dodik stated Wednesday in Banjaluka that Bosnia and Herzegovina does not have a comprehensive plan for handling the migration issue and that things are very delayed as regards the matter, adding that the Council of Ministers in a caretaking capacity has not submitted a single proposal that could be sustainable.
SARAJEVO, OCTOBER 23 /SRNA/ - A statement by the BiH caretaker Minister of Security Dragan Mektić that the key problem for the escalating migration crisis is a "state that functions on the basis of consensus" is nonsense and shows the inability of the BiH level authorities to find a solution to this major problem, Dušanka Majkić, a delegate in the Serb caucus of the BiH House of Peoples, stated for Srna.
SARAJEVO, OCTOBER 23 /SRNA/ - The Government of the Federation of BiH has expressed willingness to provide support to BiH institutions to the extent of its abilities and competences in order to manage the migration crisis more efficiently so as to increase the level of security and provide humanitarian protection to migrants, reports the Ministry of Security in a caretaking capacity.
EAST SARAJEVO, OCTOBER 23 /SRNA/ - Police are conducting searches in several locations in the area of Čapljina and have discovered a big amount of skank drug, spokesman of the State Investigation and Protection Agency /SIPA/ Luka Miladinović stated for Srna.
FEDERATION OF BiH
BIHAĆ, OCTOBER 23 /SRNA/ - At least one person was injured in Bihać on Wednesday in a knife attack among migrants, confirmed the Una-Sana Canton Ministry of Internal Affairs.
BELGRADE, OCTOBER 23 /SRNA/ - The book "Through Genocide to a Greater Croatia" by academician Vasilije Krestić was presented at the International Book Fair in Belgrade on Wednesday.
BELGRADE, OCTOBER 23 /SRNA/ - Academician Matija Bećković signed the latest edition of his book "My 80 - Portraits" at the International Book Fair in Belgrade on Wednesday. The book contains 80 new portraits of persons that were prominent in the author's life.
PRIŠTINA, OCTOBER 23 /SRNA/ - The Prosecutor's Office of self-declared Kosovo has filed a motion to remand in custody Nenad Arsić from Čaglavica on suspicion that during the 1999 conflict he committed a war crime in the settlement of Emšir outside Priština, reports the Kosovo Police Service.
NOVI SAD, OCTOBER 23 /SRNA/ - This year's laureates, professor Ilija Kovačević and artist and musician Milan Mumin, the frontman of the Novi Sad cult rock bank "Love Hunters," were presented with the October Award on Wednesday, a recognition that the city authorities award to meritorious citizens of Novi Sad on the occasion of October 23, the Day of the WWII Liberation of Novi Sad. /end/dš


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Angels help couple after van stalls
Published: August 2, 2007 | 6562nd good news item since 2003
We were pulling out of the Freedom gas station at the foot of Creve Coeur Hill when we heard a loud noise coming from our van.
We pulled into the turn lane. The van decided to start again, so we began pulling into the gas station again. As we did, the van stopped right in the middle of the lane of traffic. We got out and told drivers coming toward us that it wouldn't start and to go around us. It just happened to be the very busiest time of day and many cars had to stop and take their turn to go around us.
Then, four of God's angels came to our rescue. One young man was named Cody. One young lady was named Chrissy, I think, who was with the young man. They went out and began to push the van toward the station. Then, a third angel, a young man in a white car, stopped as well. A little later, another angel stopped and asked if she could please take us into East Peoria, if we needed a ride. We told her we had called a tow truck and that our daughter would let us use her car, as she worked at the station.
The four of you will never know how very much we appreciated all you did that day to help us. Being in our 70s, I am afraid our pushing a van days are behind us. We could not stop praising all of you to our daughter and our other family members when we got home. We also asked our Lord to especially bless each one of you for your kindness to us. Please accept our gratitude and know we will pass along your kindness in a way we can do so. You and your families have every right to be proud!
Thank you so much!
East Peoria


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The Best Mom Moments in Coveteur History
Manolos with a side of awwww.
As you might predict (y'know, that whole going-into-people's-houses thing?), we've been witness to some pretty special mom moments over the years. From Jada Pinkett Smith and Joyce Bonelli, to Isabela Rangel Grutman, Cindy Crawford, Kristen Noel Crawley... The list literally does go on. And on. And on some more. But what's been most special about getting to see them firsthand? They all illustrate in their own way that one can be a mom who's fully present and makes time for her kids, without putting her life on hold or giving up even so much as a molecule of their identity. That, while there are days where it feels like the sky is falling, they're ultimately all worth it. Also that "having it all" might not exist, but getting pretty damn close (or at the very least, pretty damn happy) is very much achievable. That there very much so are ways to integrate your children into your life without (too much) sacrifice. And that, while everyone's definition of what precisely makes them a mom and how that defines them may differ from family-to-family, it never diminishes what that role means to them.
And so, we'd like to present a few of our favorite Coveteur-y moments captured throughout the years. Consider this your sentimental, you-might-have-to-pretend-your-allergies-are-acting-up warning.
Want more stories like this?
Jada Pinkett Smith on Parenting, Rebellion & Learning from Willow & Her Mom
27 Last-Minute Mother's Day Gifts You Can Overnight to Her Door
Prince Let My Mom Backstage & Oscar de la Renta Sang to Her


text: Griknot 3 Report post Posted July 15, 2015 Alright. Hey, Techland, if you're reading this. So, I can already see myself that this game is practically dead. There's only about 1k people playing this game right now, and nearly every other hub I go to it's at least that times five. Grand theft auto V almost breaches 50k. You guys aren't patching the game too much, and when you do, it's just little bug fixes for bugs I've never encountered. Every bug that happens nearly EVERY SINGLE SESSION is still there SINCE I BOUGHT THE GAME. None have been fixed, and I am not going to bother reporting them, as I doubt anything will be done about them. There is a good amount of content to the game, but the first DLC.. Bozak Horde.. it was awful. Me and every person I knew hated it. It was hard, boring, and not rewarding at all. Nobody I knew could solo it, either. For all the leaderboards, every global time for anything is always 0.000 seconds, so our scores don't matter either. I beat the game three times now, and I have an AMD GPU and CPU. I'm still getting absolutely terrible performance to this day, since day 1, and nothing has been done about it. It seems you guys only care about money, and that sucks, because this game is wonderful, It has so much potential even after everything already in it, and you aren't doing anything with it. You don't take the community's ideas either. Anybody agree? 2 Nicky67 and Hadouken777 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites


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Costa Rica Adventure with Teens
Costa Rica
8 Days
Activity Level
Comfort Level
So, you want to get away with your teenager(s), and it has to be a dynamic itinerary packed with loads of activities in order to hold their interest. At Journeys, we've raised teenagers of our own, so we understand precisely how to design a trip that will appeal to yours. Our 8-day Costa Rica Adventure with Teens takes you to a steaming volcano, through the exotic rainforest, across zip-lines, in jungle boats, to beautiful beaches and out on the ocean. Learn about sustainable Costa Rican agriculture, visit a school, and enjoy lunch in the home of a local family! This is a seriously action-packed trip that comes to a nice, relaxing close at a favorite Costa Rican beach location.
Great For
- Families with Teens
- Active Adventure
- Connecting with Locals
Day 1 Arrive San Jose
On arrival at the San Jose Airport, after clearing customs and immigration, you'll exit the airport terminal and meet your local representative who will assist with your transfer to the hotel.
Hotel Park Inn (or similar)
Day 2 Tortuguero National Park
Today you'll make your way to the Tortuguero National Park area where you will spend the next several days. Enjoy a private land transfer to the pier with breakfast en route. Then meet the boat service who will take you into Tortuguero. Tortuguero N.P. is known as Costa Rica's "Little Amazon". There are no roads – travel is by boat along a series of rivers and canals or by foot on forest paths. This is one of the best places to observe wildlife in Costa Rica and you'll have a good chance of spotting several species of monkeys, iguanas, crested basilisk lizards, sloths, caiman, and colorful tropical birds.
Upon arrival at the lodge, you'll have time to get settled before heading out on a visit to Tortuguero Village and taking a walk through the private forest trails of your lodge.
Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner
Mawamba Lodge (or similar)
Day 3 Boat Tours
You'll have the morning at leisure to relax by the pool, hike the forest trails, or just sleep in. After lunch, you'll set off to spot the rich wildlife, navigating the rainforest canals by boat. Get your camera ready for numerous bird species, monkeys, sloths, crocodiles, iguanas, and more. Be sure to bring along your water shoes, insect repellent, sunscreen, and a light rain jacket!
Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner
Mawamba Lodge (or similar)
Day 4 To the Volcanic Highlands
After breakfast, board a boat for the estimated one and a half-hour ride to the river port at Guapiles where you'll meet your private transfer for the rest of today's journey. Drive about an hour through the jungles, wetlands, and rainforests of the lowlands. Stop en route to Arenal Vida Campesina local organic farm, a self-sufficient farm and learning center. Here we'll learn about newer sustainable agricultural techniques, life as a Costa Rican farmer, and common Costa Rican crops such as coffee, bananas, plantains, and sugar cane. Various animals on the farm provide organic waste that is converted to fertilizer. At the end of the tour, we'll enjoy a traditional dinner with freshly harvested vegetables and a hands-on demonstration of tortilla making. Then continue approximately two hours into the scenic highlands, offering spectacular views, where Arenal Volcano is located.
The volcano is a beautiful steaming cone covered in cloud forest full of wildlife. Settle into your beautiful resort for two nights.
Breakfast, Lunch
Arenal Manoa (or similar)
Day 5 Arenal Volcano, Zip-line & Hot Springs
Following breakfast, get ready for an adventure with zip lining and whitewater rafting today! Begin the tour with an adrenaline filled climb up a 54-foot high tower to fly over a 360-foot high canyon, the highest place in the park. You will cross a hanging bridge to our longest cable of 0.6 miles high above La Fortuna Waterfall with great views of downtown. Continue your day with the best whitewater rafting tour on the Balsa River. Experience the most popular highlight in Costa Rica. Have lunch afterward sharing your exhilarating experiences.
To finish the day, visit the Ecotemales Hot Springs. This is a family-run hot springs resort featuring four volcanically heated pools ranging from 91 to 95 degrees Fahrenheit. Family members personally attend to the needs of visiting guests. After you're done soaking and relaxed, you'll head back to the Arenal resort for some shuteye.
Breakfast, Lunch
Arenal Manoa (or similar)
Day 6 Tamarindo on the Pacific Coast
Today you'll leave Arenal and travel approximately four to five hours to the Pacific Coast. Your destination is Tamarindo, one of Costa Rica's most popular beach destinations. Stay at the amazing Tamarindo Diria Resort with its multiple swimming pools and fountains. There are lots of fun activities here including swimming, fishing, snorkeling, and watching for seabirds.
Tamarindo Diria
Day 7 Tamarindo Free Day
Enjoy your final full day in Costa Rica at leisure. There are many optional activities available to choose from such as surfing, sailing, sports fishing, snorkeling, horseback riding, 4-wheeling, zip-lining, or river rafting. Or you can choose to just spend time just sunning on the beautiful beach, or lounging by the pools.
Tamarindo Diria
Day 8 San Jose
In the morning, transfer back to the San Jose Airport via private transfer (approx. 4.5 hours plus stops along the way) and check-in for your flight back to the U.S. Goodbye, Costa Rica!
Consider adding a few additional days at the beach for more time to relax and enjoy this beautiful country.
Dates & Price
Custom & private on your dates. Contact an Adventure Specialist to create your dream trip! Schedule a call or tell us more about your dream trip!
Best Time of Year to Visit
So, you want to get away with your teenager(s), and it has to be a dynamic itinerary packed with loads of activities in order to hold their interest. At Journeys, we've raised teenagers of our own, so we understand precisely how to design a trip that will appeal to yours. Our 8-day Costa Rica Adventure with Teens takes you to a steaming volcano, through the exotic rainforest, across zip-lines, in jungle boats, to beautiful beaches and out on the ocean. Learn about sustainable Costa Rican agriculture, visit a school, and enjoy lunch in the home of a local family! This is a seriously action-packed trip that comes to a nice, relaxing close at a favorite Costa Rican beach location.
Rates Per Person
Need to Know
Rates Per Person -
Land Cost
Internal Airfare (approximate)
+ $600 - $800
Single Supplement
+ $595
Rates Per Person -
Need to Know
Pricing and Payment
Reservations are accepted and confirmed after we receive a non-refundable booking deposit and a Traveler Profile Form signed by each adult on the trip as well as by the guardian for each child on the trip, and if space is available. For most group departures, the booking deposit is $500 per person per trip, though for some trips it may be more, as noted in the trip description.
The minimum booking deposit requirement for custom trips is $800 per person, and this deposit is non-refundable. A trip-planning fee of $250 per itinerary is also charged to cover costs of preparing itinerary proposals for custom trips. This fee is credited to the cost of the trip, but is nonrefundable if you do not take the trip. Custom travel during holiday seasons may require a deposit prior to trip confirmation.
An invoice for the total estimated cost of your itinerary will be sent with your reservation confirmation. For both group departures and custom trips, a second deposit of $1,000 per person is due 120 days prior to departure or at the time of booking for reservations made fewer than 120 days before departure. The balance as shown on your invoice is due 60 days prior to departure regardless of whether extensions or other arrangements are pending. Although we do our best to avoid increasing prices after we receive your deposit, in some cases it may be necessary to adjust pricing even after we receive payment to allow for changes in group size, rooming status, currency exchange rate fluctuations, fuel surcharges and other circumstances attendant to international travel. Late payments may jeopardize confirmation of your itinerary and in some cases may result in additional fees. If we have not received final payment 30 days prior to departure your reservation may be canceled and subject to our Cancellation & Refund Policy stated below.
We accept payments by Visa, MasterCard, American Express, or check drawn on a U.S. bank account. Payment for airfare is required at the time of ticketing. Discounts that may be available for some trips are not available toward bookings made through travel agencies.
Late Signups
Early reservations are encouraged! Some trips and flights fill several months before departure. We can confirm your space on a trip once we receive your deposit and signed Reservation Form. We try, but cannot guarantee, to accept late signups. In the event that we are able to accept reservations fewer than 60 days before a trip departure, additional fees of $500 or more may apply to cover administrative costs necessary to expedite your reservation confirmation and transmit your departure materials. For reservations made fewer than 60 days before departure, full payment will be due at the time of booking.
Itinerary Changes
We understand that circumstances arise that lead you to inquire about changes to your itinerary, and aim to satisfy your requests. Once activities and accommodations have been confirmed, there will be a $50 change fee, in addition to the difference in costs for the services booked. When changes are requested within one week of departure, the change fee is $100. For changes requested after a trip has begun, the change fee is $200.
Cancellations & Refunds
If you must cancel before departure, you may request a refund according to the following schedule. Some trips require additional non-refundable payments as noted in the trip description or in the trip itinerary.
|Days Prior to Departure
|Cancellation Penalty
|90 or more
|Non-refundable booking deposit and trip planning fee, if applicable
|30% of total land costs
|75% of total land costs
|100% of total land costs
Please note: cancellation of airfare, other transit, and lodging is subject to the policies of the individual carriers or providers and are not included in the schedule above. Additional cancellation fees are the responsibility of the traveler. We strongly recommend that all travelers purchase travel insurance that includes coverage for trip cancellation or interruption which may reimburse you for cancellation penalties and extra trip expenses should a circumstance covered by the policy force you to cancel or interrupt your trip.
Departure is defined as the date on which travelers will leave their home state, province or city, or the trip departure date as indicated on the trip itinerary, whichever comes first. Cancellation date will be considered the date that we receive written notification of your intent to cancel.
Payments due at the time of cancellation remain the responsibility of the client. No partial refunds are possible for unused hotel rooms, air or land travel, trekking days, or other sight-seeing arrangements included in the land cost.
In the event Journeys International cancels a trip, for any reason, all money for services described in the trip description, less airline ticket cancellation fees, will be refunded.
Air Fares
We can help you to secure air travel arrangements to correspond with land travel booked through Journeys International. We work with an airfare consolidator to assist in booking the flights that suit your needs. Journeys International may charge a ticketing fee for this service. For group departures, if you prefer to fly on dates other than those listed as trip dates, or if you arrive at your destination other than at the group arrival time, then you may incur an additional fee to cover the separate transfer, contingency, and coordination costs which frequently arise from arrival and departure on flights different from our regular bookings. We will let you know about these fees ahead of time, if they apply. If you must change your air routing after ticketing, there is a charge of $50 per change, in addition to change or cancellation charges levied by the airline.
If you decide to make your own flight arrangements, you must provide Journeys International with a complete copy of your itinerary showing departure and arrival flights and times. You should plan to arrange your own air travel if you are using mileage credit or originating outside North America, but please be in touch with our office before you finalize ticketing so that we can help you to coordinate the correct arrival and departure dates and times.
Transfers Between Trips
You may transfer between some trips upon written request. More than 90 days before departure, the deposit transfer fee is $100 per person plus any cancellation fees charged by hotels or ground service providers. Less than 90 days before departure, full cancellation penalties from the original trip apply. In the event that Journeys International cancels a trip, you may transfer the full amount of your land payments to another trip without penalty.
Expenses Covered
Normally, our stated land costs include the cost of all guides, leaders, permits obtained after arrival, lodging accommodations, food and entry fees as specified, and all surface transportation associated with the planned itinerary. We do our best to avoid increasing prices after receipt of your deposit, but, rarely, factors beyond our control might require us to change our prices without prior notice, even after you have signed up.
Expenses Not Covered
Costs not included in the price may include: meals not indicated as included in itineraries; meals prior to arrival in starting cities; transfers, if not arriving or departing on the scheduled group flights; soft drinks, bottled water, and alcoholic beverages; medical expenses, costs of hospitalization, or evacuation from remote areas; laundry; airport departure taxes not included on your airline ticket; accommodations en route to starting cities; visas; airfares; gratuities; and insurance.
If a trip must be extended or an itinerary modified due to weather, road conditions, labor interruption, lack of transportation, political or civil disputes, medical emergency, or other causes beyond our control, then the traveler may incur additional costs that are not included in the trip price. We strongly recommend that all travelers obtain travel insurance to cover these risks.
Group-Sized Pricing & Group Minimums
Many trips are guaranteed to depart at prices published on our website with as few as two participants. However, in some cases it is necessary to adjust prices to reflect smaller group sizes. We do everything we can to make a trip operate as planned even with a single participant. Additional costs for small groups amounts vary from trip to trip. Final decision to cancel a trip due to insufficient signups is made 30 days prior to departure.
Environmental Stewardship
Journeys International believes that we have a responsibility to protect the earth for future generations of travelers. International tourism may be responsible for up to eight percent of annual worldwide emissions of greenhouse gasses. Journeys International advocates that adventure travelers who make environmentally-conscious choices when selecting their destinations and activities should also make the environmentally-conscious choice to offset the carbon footprint of their travel to compensate for their personal contributions to global climate change. Every Journeys International trip invoice includes an optional donation to the Earth Preservation Fund's carbon offset program to be used to purchase and permanently retire certified carbon credits to offset the carbon footprints of Journeys' travelers. The Earth Preservation Fund purchases carbon credits that have been certified under a reliable third-party standard. Travelers who choose to make this donation will receive a receipt for 501(c)3 tax deduction. There is no penalty for opting out of this donation.
Pre-Departure Services
We look forward to working with you! After we receive your deposit we will send you a pre-departure information packet containing things like medical and immunization information, visa and other permit forms, a recommendation for travel insurance, packing checklist, reading list, cross-cultural information, and an initial invoice for the balance due. If you would like, we can also book your extended land travel arrangements for before and after your trip. About 2-3 weeks before departure, we will send you a final departure packet including last minute reminders and local contact information for your destination. We send some of our materials by mail, so if you are leaving home before the scheduled trip departure date, please let us know how we can best reach you so that you will receive your materials prior to your departure.
Please call our office at any time if you have questions about your trip or for additional information.
Lodging Accommodations
Lodging accommodations are usually double occupancy in hotel rooms, tents, or other facilities as described or noted in trip itineraries. Please contact our office to discuss pricing and availability of alternative accommodations. We try to honor specific requests for lodging, but in some cases we may have to book and confirm equivalent standard accommodations. If you are traveling alone but would prefer a roommate, then let us know! We are often able to match solo travelers. If a roommate is not available or if you prefer single accommodation, then you must pay the Single Supplement, if one applies. On some trips, it is not possible to guarantee single accommodations.
Fitness to Travel
Good physical and mental health are essential for the enjoyment of Journeys International's trips. In many cases participants travel in rugged areas remote from modern medical facilities. Good physical conditioning is recommended as preparation for all trips, especially those involving trekking. Most trips require some walking. By paying the booking deposit and signing the Reservation Form, the traveler certifies that he/she is fit for rigorous travel and does not have any physical, mental, or other condition that would create a hazard for him/herself or other travelers. It is essential that any participant with a medical condition requiring regular treatment or which may be affected by vigorous activity, prolonged travel, high altitude, heat, cold, natural phenomena, or particular foods, notify Journeys International in writing prior to booking.
We assume no responsibility for medical care and we cannot guarantee meeting special dietary requirements or vegetarian needs. Participants may be required to furnish a physician's statement of good health. Journeys International's or the individual trip leader's or guide's judgment shall provide the ultimate determination of an individual's fitness to embark upon, or to continue, a trip. Journeys International reserves the right to refuse reservations or deny participation prior to departure of anyone whom it deems unsuitable for a trip. Once a trip has been confirmed, medical circumstances will not be considered as exceptions to our cancellation policy. All participants must be covered by a current major medical insurance policy for the duration of their trip. Proof of such coverage may be requested.
Duration 8 Days
The number of days, or duration, in a destination corresponds with the itinerary as published. This is the time period covered by the land cost.
Group Size 2 - 12
The stated range indicates minimum required for guaranteed departure and maximum accepted on the scheduled dates. Exceptions can often be made for private departures.
Comfort Level
Unique jungle-lodges to lovely beach resort
Activity Level
Optional hiking
Activity Level
Match the trip's intensity to your ability and motivation.
Easy walking, with opportunities for low-key physical activity.
Energetic exploration with optional day hikes, leisurely cycling, or light canoeing.
Day-long active excursions and options for demanding activity in varied environments.
Strenuous hiking or other intense activity that may be at high altitude or over rough terrain.
Multi-day trekking and other activities requiring endurance or strength. Steep trails. No technical expertise necessary.
Comfort Level
Choose accommodations and amenities that fit your personal style
Our most natural accommodations. Bath facilities often shared, sometimes rustic.
Comfortable and especially personal. Small to mid-sized lodges, typically with private bath.
Lodges and hotels with additional amenities, refined artistry, or extra-special settings.
Exclusive or luxury lodges, hotels, or safari camps with fine dining options.
The most indulgent accommodations arranged specially for private trips.
Single Supplement
The single supplement is applicable if a roommate is not available or if single accommodation is specifically requested. While single accommodation is not available on all trips, we will try and honor this request whenever possible.


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Stingray Academy After School Program
Cedar Fork students enjoy a high quality program each afternoon between 4-6pm which includes a healthy snack, and various activities to choose from. Superivision is provided by the amazing staff of Cedar Fork Elementary who ensure a safe and engaging environment for students to work and play. We follow a 25:1 student to teacher ratio with common age groups.
Stingray Academy is a Wake County sponsored program and follows all of the rules and guidelines established by the county. Please refer to the parent information pages below for more specific information.
2019-2020 Registration Dates:
August 9th from 2:00pm-6:00pm in Discovery Cove at Cedar Fork Elementary
To register, please prepare by:
- printing and completing the Registration Packet and Childcare Discipline forms before you arrive
- know your child's Student ID number
- bring a $15 check or money order made payable to Cedar Fork Elementary (for each child). WE DO NOT ACCEPT CASH.
Please take a moment to signup for the 2019-2020 REMIND text messages. This is our primary form of communication with parents. Just follow this link: https://www.remind.com/join/36e7cb
Or print this form and follow the instructions.
Full-time (Monday-Friday) is $108.17 per month.
2019-2020 Daily Rates:
All Mondays $18.94
All Tuesdays $23.22
All Wednesdays $22.00
All Thursdays $22.61
All Fridays $21.39
*** There are no Early Release days.
You can print the PAYMENT SCHEDULE here.
Pay tuition payment here.
Student Activity Schedule - Updated Monthly
Contact Information:
Stingray Academy After School Program
1050 Town Hall Drive, Morrisville NC 27560
Phone: 919-215-8345 Answered between 4-6pm on school days
Anne Shrode, Director Email: email@example.com
Ann Hamrick, Director Email: email@example.com


text:
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Additional Information
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- Payment & Shipping
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text:
"Individual-Family Interface in Jhumpa Lahiri's The Namesake" by Himadri Lahiri
Himadri Lahiri is Reader at the Department of English, University of Burdwan, Burdwan, West Bengal, India. Email: email@example.com
Michel Foucault
The perspective of the 'moment' privileged in the above extract may indeed be very useful in the study of diasporic literature. The word 'diaspora' itself, coming, as it does, from Greek 'dia' ('through') and 'speirein' ('to scatter'), etymologically means 'dispersal,' and involves, at least two countries, two cultures, which are embedded in the mind of the migrant, side-by-side. Although the past is invoked now and then, the focus is persistently on the 'moment.' The past is invoked to indicate a certain contrast, which must be incorporated, and controlled in the present life in order to negotiate the network of social relations in the immediate world. The past, thus, becomes a part of the present consciousness of the diasporic subject. Literary works, written particularly by second generation diasporic writers, concentrate more on synchronic dimension than on diachronic one. It is quite natural that they approach the narratives from comparative perspectives, both from the points of view of cultures and generations.
The lived experience of the children of first generation migrants to which Jhumpa Lahiri belongs is characterized by their participation in the American mainstream culture available in the larger social space, outside the limited, 'sanctified' family space. This their parents often disapprove. They, in their turn, disapprove of their parents' proximity to the ancestral 'home' culture which the Indian American community tries to replicate in the new space. The family space and the community space, however, cannot remain pure as change of places inevitably brings in its train hybridization. The birth of children, which happens in the early part of Jhumpa Lahiri's novel The Namesake, initiates conflictual relationship in the family space. The largely homogenous culture in the family, as we observe in the novel, gives way to a heterogeneous one, leading to differences of opinion and a complex pattern of relationship.
This article explores the lived experience of diasporic subjects as represented in Jhumpa Lahiri's The Namesake (2003). It will demonstrate how an individual's life gets inevitably mixed up – and messed up – with those of others in different spaces which lie in proximity to each other and contribute to his/her identity formation. The focus will mainly be on the relationship between the second generation Indian Americans and the family (and in extension to the community) space in which they find themselves. The word 'space,' as may be evident, is used here in a theoretical sense and is differentiated from the word 'place.' The latter is used to refer to a geographical location, a territorial entity, while the former suggests a vigorous interactive network of relations. A space is "what Lefebre would describe as l'espace ve'cu, actually lived and socially created spatiality, concrete and abstract at the same time, the habitus of social practices" (Soja 17-18). James Clifford, who borrows the phrase "spatial practice" from Michel de Certeau's book The Practice of Everyday Life (1984) observes that the word 'space,' which is never ontologically given, is "discursively mapped and corporeally practiced. An urban neighbourhood, for example, may be laid out physically according to a street plan. But it is not a space until it is practiced by people's active occupation, their movements through and around it" (Clifford 54).
In fact, the concept of space is now considered to be very important in fields of cultural anthropology and social sciences. It can equally be applied to literary analyses. Foucault asserts that space is fundamental in any form of communal life and in any exercise of power. The following observation underlines the importance of space in human life:
The space in which we live, which draws us out of ourselves, in which the erosion of our lives, our time and our history occurs, the space that claws and gnaws at us, is also, in itself, a heterogeneous space. In other words, we do not live in a kind of void, inside of which we could place individuals and things. We do not live inside a void that could be colored with diverse shades of light, we live inside a set of relations that delineates sites which are irreducible to one another and absolutely not superimposable on one another. (Foucault 1967)
Lahiri's novel demonstrates the truth of the above statement. This article will try to show how the major characters in the novel 'live inside a set of relations' and interact in a vigorous space.
The Namesake is a narrative of how Gogol Ganguli attains his identity and self-realization through his negotiation with different spaces. As he realizes, his own family space is very constricted – it in effect stifles his voice and destroys his freedom and agency. His anguish and antipathy grows out of this because it prevents his close and intimate interaction with the mainstream culture and tries to limit his cultural activities largely to Indian American community. As he understands, this is a sanctified space and his parents enforce its 'sacred' norms which relate them to the absent 'home' country and not to the present social space. And therefore these norms, for Gogol and his generation, are largely irrelevant. So long as the parents, Ashima and Ashoke, were the two members in the family the purity of the norms could be somehow preserved to a certain extent. The birth of Gogol, however, brings in the first portent of danger for the Ganguli family. The hospital space becomes the first evident site of resistance to the family and community practice followed by the Bengalis. Ashima and Ashoke wait for a letter from her grandmother that will carry the name of the new-born baby, thus attesting to the name the sanction of the family. This is often followed as a norm. "Names can wait. In India parents take their time. It wasn't unusual for years to pass before the right name, the best possible name, was determined" (Lahiri 25). But since the letter containing the name does not arrive and the baby cannot be released from the hospital without a birth certificate which must have a name, the Gangulis are evidently in a dilemma. The attempt to reinscribe the old culture in the new social space is confronted with a crisis as the American social space intervenes in the Indian American family space. Gogol, which was originally intended as a daknam, had to be ultimately accepted as a bhalonam (both the Bengali words will be addressed in the next paragraph). The incomprehension of the Americans regarding this naming norm is reflected in the reaction of Mr. Wilcox, the compiler of hospital birth certificates, who tries to decipher the norm and to help out the family (27-28).
In this connection, Lahiri deals elaborately with the Bengali custom of giving two names to a child – bhalonam (literally, 'good name;' or formal name) and daknam (meaning 'pet name'). The former is to be used in the public space: "Every pet name is paired with a good name, a bhalonam, for identification in the outside world. Consequently good names appear on envelopes, on diplomas, in telephone directories, and in all other public places" (26). The latter is used in the family space and in the association of close friends and associates. "Pet names are persistent remnants of childhood […] these are the names by which they are known in their respective families, the names by which they are adored and scolded and missed and loved" (26). In the diasporic space the affection and love associated with the daknam is hankered after by the first generation Indian Americans because the larger family in the Indian sense is not available. Indian American families are scattered all over the nation and for all practical purpose this community can not be a substitute to the community in the 'home' country, the images of which are invoked in the story "Mrs. Sen's" included in Interpreter of Maladies (1999).The community back home has a close network of intimate relationship which is often indicated by the large scale use of the daknam. In such a situation community relationship is privileged and individualism, which is celebrated in the West, is made subservient to the sentiment of the collectivity. In Ganguli family's insistence on this subservience we find an attempt to reinscribe the Indian cultural ethos in the new space.
Generational differences are thus projected through juxtapositions of the two social spaces. For the first generation immigrants like Ashoke and Ashima the change of geographical location is the first shock. Ashima, for instance, encounters, after her arrival in the USA, the differences in the landscape – "heaps of broken snow" (Lahiri 30), "the frigid New England chill" (ibid.), "leafless trees with ice-covered branches" (ibid.), "not a soul on the street" (ibid.), but more than that she realizes the intensity of the loss of the family and community support. On the basis of her experience for the eighteen months in the country she knows that it will be difficult for her to bring up her child in "this lonely country." Her pregnancy in the new space is important for more than one reason. It signals the entry of a member of the second generation who will represent a hybrid generation. He will resent his parents' culture and rue his name Gogol that will sound unfamiliar to others in the public spaces like school and college. Nevertheless it will lead to the family formation – "suddenly a family" (Lahiri 32). It will be a family like that of Alan and Judy and their daughters whose house they rented. Secondly, travails of the birth metaphorically represent the travails she undergoes for process of the birth of a self that can cope with the new American space, absorbing the shocks in her journey for acculturation that will at one stage make her join a library as a part time job. The acculturation process is a long-drawn one, a process involving new knowledge formation against the overwhelming backdrop of memory of the recent past, of the old culture and families and community. This knowledge includes the trivial like "Americans eat their chicken in its skin" (5) to the vital like how to raise children in a lonely country without the help of family members. Thirdly, Ashima associates the pregnancy with her own condition of being a 'foreigner':
For being a foreigner, Ashima is beginning to realize, is a sort of lifelong pregnancy – a perpetual wait, a constant burden, a continuous feeling out of sorts. It is an ongoing responsibility, a parenthesis in what had once been ordinary life, only to discover that the previous life has vanished, replaced by something more complicated and demanding. Like pregnancy, being a foreigner, Ashima believes, is something that elicits the same curiosity from strangers, the same combination of pity and respect. (49-50)
Despite some acculturation Ashima is in fact in the condition of an expatriate in the sense Bharati Mukherjee, one of the first leading Indian American writers, uses the term. In her Introduction to Darkness, a collection of short stories, she differentiates the 'expatriates' from the 'immigrants.' Immigration, according to her, has 'exuberance.' Immigrant experience is a series of reincarnations, deaths of earlier experiences followed by rebirths full of promise. She hails immigrant Indianness as "a set of fluid identities to be celebrated" (Mukherjee xv). Expatriation, on the other hand, is a sort of static state; it is a refusal to be amalgamated into the new society. An expatriate considers his or her stay in the new country as a temporary matter and looks back to the 'home' country for emotional sustenance. Both Ashoke and Ashima at the moment are therefore not in a position of 'exuberance.'
Between 1968 and 2000, Ashoke and Ashima make some progress regarding their relation with the U.S. but they mainly have not been able to move beyond the Indian frame of mind. While at Cambridge they (particularly Ashima) were neophytes, unable to settle down mentally. When they moved to the small university town outside Boston Ashoke was particularly aggregating to the academic space and through it to the national space. He got a new office "with his name etched onto a strip of black plastic by the door" (Lahiri 48) and his name was printed under "Faculty" in the university directory. These are in a way official affirmation of one who in a certain way belongs. One way of finding connectedness is to purchase a house which becomes a symbol of belonging. Gangulis too purchased a house at the Pemberton Road in a white neighborhood with residents like the Johnsons, the Mertons, the Aspris, and the Hills which is indication enough of their acceptance in the secular civil space:
In the end they decide on a shingled two-story colonial in a recently built development, a house previously occupied by no one, erected on a quarter acre of land. This is a small patch of America to which they lay claim. (51)
In the meantime, their ties with the ancestral land begin to weaken: "[A]s their lives in New England swell with fellow Bengali friends, the numbers of that other, former life, those who know Ashima and Ashoke not by their good names but as Monu and Mithu, slowly dwindle" (63). They are therefore forced by the circumstances of their lives to distance themselves from the endearing, filiational family and community back 'home.' They slowly but surely allow themselves to move towards a hybrid cultural location:
They learn to roast turkeys, albeit rubbed with garlic and cumin and cayenne, at Thanksgiving, to nail a wreath to their door in December, to wrap woolen scarves around snowmen, to color boiled eggs violet and pink at Easter and hide them around the house. For the sake of Gogol and Sania they celebrate, with progressively increasing fanfare, the birth of Christ, an event the children look forward to far more than the worship of Durga and Saraswati. (64)
Towards the end of the novel Ashima's change has been summarized in the following way:
She has learned to do things on her own, and though she still wears saris, still puts her long hair in a bun, she is not the same Ashima who had once lived in Calcutta. She will return to India with an American passport. In her wallet will remain her Massachusetts driver's license, her social security card. (276).
It is, therefore, a long journey for people like Ashima who encounter difficulties in different spaces and undergo transformation of identities. With such progress in attitude the stranglehold on the children is slackened and Gogol and Sania as individuals in the family space feel much more integrated to the family unit.
In the early years after the immigration, it has been stated earlier, the stranglehold on the young members is usually very strong. The children are acutely aware of their parents' expectations but are usually rebellious. Some like Moushumi internalize, with some element of violence, the duality between the expectations and their unwillingness to give in to the cultural demands. The resultant schizophrenia sometimes disintegrates them psychically. Gogol reacts against the parental influence but he seems to be more balanced than Moushumi whose desperation is evident in her own sexual involvements with a great number of partners in Paris. It was as if she was taking revenge upon herself. "In retrospect she saw that her sudden lack of inhibition had intoxicated her more than any of the men had" (215). She was drugged with a sense of 'emancipation' from all constrictive forces but in the process she also acted, self-consciously, in a way that almost verged on prostitution:
With no hesitation, she had allowed men to seduce her in cafes, in parks, while she gazed at paintings in museums. She gave herself openly, completely, not caring about the consequences. […] She allowed the men to buy her drinks, dinners, later to take her in taxis to their apartments, in neighborhoods she had not yet discovered on her own. […] There were days she slept with one man after lunch, another after dinner. (215)
This may be considered as the disintegration of a personality. Previously her rebellion was mainly academic in nature. In Brown she majored in Chemistry which was in pursuit of her parents' insistence but she also double majored in French which was unknown to her parents. She approached French as a way of escape into a neutral third space:
Immersing herself in a third language, a third culture had been her refuge – she approached French unlike things American or Indian without guilt or misgiving or expectation of any kind. It was easier to turn her back on the two countries that could claim her in favor of one that had no claim whatsoever. Her four years of secret study had prepared her at the end of college, to escape as far as possible. (214; emphasis added)
Paris provides her the desired distance – a refuge. "Here Moushumi had reinvented herself, without misgivings, without guilt" (233). She does not want to be mistaken for a tourist in Paris because she feels that she belongs there. Robin E. Field considers her as an example of a "global citizen" (175) of an increasingly borderless world. He points out,
Moushumi's decision to control her own cultural identity may well prove to be the normative behavior for the later generations of immigrant families in the United States. As their direct connection to certain roots diminishes and other cultural options are presented, these Americans will create their own personal bricolage of various cultural materials in order to form their identities. (Field 176)
By contrast, Gogol's journey is less disintegrating and at the end we find him moving towards his family. He realizes that his own identity is intricately linked up with the history of his family. Right from his early days he too has been rebellious. In 'legal rites of passage' he changes his name from Gogol to Nikhil which is in fact a manifestation of his protest. In the New Haven campus he is happy that nobody calls him Gogol. With the new name becoming familiar, "it's easier to ignore his parents, to tune out their concerns and pleas" (Lahiri 105). In acts of defiance, he loses his virginity at a party. He has a short affair with a white girl called Ruth. His life at the dormitory at New Haven is one of throwing her cultural norms to the wind. This dormitory may be called, following Foucault again, 'crisis hetertopia' (usually prevalent in so-called primitive society), which is described as "privileged or sacred or forbidden places, reserved for individuals who are, in relation to society and to the human environment in which they live, in a state of crisis: adolescents, menstruating women, the elderly etc." (Foucault 1967). He says that boarding school in its nineteenth century form is one of the remnants of these fast disappearing heterotopias. This is the site of first manifestations of sexual virility which were supposed to take place 'elsewhere' rather than at 'home.' The first manifestations of Gogol's agency were found in a similar place because he was away from home. He could live in the dorm in any way he liked. This is a site from which he can operate safely even in matters sexual without any interference from his family. Later he has a more durable affair with Maxine, another well-to-do white girl, but somehow he has been drawn towards his origin, somehow "he is conscious of the fact that his immersion in Maxine's family is a betrayal of his own" (Lahiri 141). Later he agrees to date Moushumi at his family's insistence and also marries her. This is another matter that influences their quite short marriage.
Two specific events make his feeling for the family apparent. One is the revelation of the secret of his father's accident in India with which his name is intimately linked up, while the other is the father's death. He learns that there is an episode behind his own naming. A book by Gogol saved his life in a train accident in India. The rescuers noticed the book falling from Ashoke's hand. This revelation which was only known to his mother "in this country" (i.e. the U.S.) brought about a change in the son's attitude to his father:
Gogol listens, stunned, his eyes fixed on his father's profile. Though there are inches between them, for an instant his father is a stranger, a man who has kept a secret, has survived a tragedy, a man whose past he does not fully know. […] Against instinct he tries to imagine life without his father, a world in which his father does not exist. (123)
His father's death is a shock to him and he wants to remember his father in hours of privacy, in the sanctity of his memory. Although Maxine offers to accompany her after he receives the news, he does not accept her offer. "He doesn't want to be with someone who barely knew his father, who's met him only once" (170). They go through the Hindu rites in the household and they silently feel "they are alone, isolated, as a family" (181). After some days Maxine proposes that a visit to New Hampshire together; "to get away from all this" will do him good. Gogol turns down the offer, asserting that he does not want to get away (182). Gogol thus begins to understand his father better. His father's sudden death affects him profoundly as he learns to connect with him and his past. Monika Sharma rightly points out:
In the death of his father, he finds a beginning, and awareness and understanding of community and of the place of the individual within family in society. The hour of personal grief unites him to his family and makes him accept their ways. The ambivalence of his in-between state ceases to vex him any more. Responding to the binary opposition as complementary rather than oppositional, he eventually discovers and resuscitates his Indian roots and familial ties. (Sharma 56)
For Gogol this is a long journey. He has to encounter the larger social space in the U.S., and so he initially feels that the norms of the family space are a stumbling block. Later he also realizes that he cannot, after all, resist the pull of the family. Despite his hate for his name and despite his adoption of a new name, he fails to "reinvent himself fully, to break from that mismatched name" (Lahiri 287). That is why he finds himself opening the pages of a book authored by Gogol, a book that his father had once gifted him and that remained unread so long.
In the following, I will like to discuss Lahiri's descriptions of two spaces which seem to have connections with Gogol's development of identity. First, we need to take note of how Lahiri presents the small university town near Boston, which juxtaposes both the past and the present. Secondly, Gogol's visit to a cemetery needs to be discussed because this is intricately related to the first step in his identity development.
The university town outside Boston has a historic district, "a brief strip of colonial architecture" (48). There is "a white steepled Congregational church, a stone courthouse with an adjoining jail, a cupolaed public library, a wooden well from which Paul Revere is rumored to have drunk" (48). This historic district flanks the campus on one edge. It is interesting to note that this New England landscape which is the site of early history of immigration is presented here to invoke the past which is made to look like the present and is relevant. This is done to highlight the fact the U.S. is a nation of immigrants, that the flow of immigration still continues and that the latest immigrants are more various and unconventional than the old ones. The Puritan overtone that was dominant in the past is no more there and the nation has opened up to a more globalised immigration policy, particularly after the Immigration Act of 1965 came into effect. In fact, the narrative of the novel opens immediately after 1965 – in 1968 to be more precise.
Secondly, Lahiri introduces the image of the cemetery or graveyard as a Foucauldian heterotopia. In 1971, when Gogol was in the sixth form of his school his school arranged a trip to a cemetery as part of field trip. There the teachers announced a 'project' for the students – to rub the gravestones with newsprints and then to relate the names with those of their own – to claim "a grave they are related to" (69). It is interesting to remember that, while discussing the second principle of heterotopia, Foucault observes that cemetery is a space which is "connected with all the sites of the city, state or society or village etc. since each family has relatives in the cemetery" (Foucault 1967). Some of the students are triumphant to find the names they are related to but Gogol is acutely aware of his own 'difference:' "Gogol is old enough to know that there is no Ganguli here. He is old enough to know that he himself will be burned, not buried, that "no stone in this cemetery will bear his name beyond life" (Lahiri 69). The cemetery is thus employed as a metaphor, suggesting Gogol's lack of roots in the country. He does not have any ancestral history in the land that would connect him to any tradition in the national space; he is so different that his social and religious rite will be incompatible with those of the new country. This discovery may not be much of a shock to the members of the first generation Indian Americans, but it is certainly a source of anxiety for their children who passionately seek acculturation and integration.
Gogol discovers some names like 'ABIJAH CRAVEN, 1701-45,' 'ANGUISH MATHER, A CHILD,' 'PEREGRENE WOTTON, D.1699,' and 'EZEKIELAND URIAH LOCKWOOD, BROTHERS, R.I.P.' The oddness of the names strikes him but he is informed that:
"[N]ow these are some names you don't see very often these days," one of the chaperones, passing by and looking at his rubbings, remarks, "Sort of like yours." Until now it has not occurred to Gogol that names die over time, and they perish just as people do. On the ride back to school the rubbings made by the other children are torn up, crumpled, tossed at one another's heads, abandoned below the dark green seats. But Gogol is silent, his rubbings rolled up carefully like parchment in his lap. (70)
Gogol is attached to "these ancient Puritan spirits, these very first immigrants to America, these bearers of unthinkable, obsolete names have spoken to him" (71). Digging up the past, he invents the relevance of his own name in the American present. He must negotiate the present bravely, although he has a name that bears unbearable strangeness. There is another significant reference to a graveyard. When Gogol grew up, he visited the ancestral village of his girlfriend, Maxine Ratliff. He finds "a small private graveyard where members of the Ratliff family lie buried" (153). He also knows that Maxine would be buried here one day. The privacy of the space contains the memory of the ancestors, thus binding the members of the Ratliff family in one space. The members of the present generation will also be part of the graveyard one day. The small ancestral place with the lake, hills and graveyards, and of course the small community is an 'essential part' of Maxine's existence, the memory of her growing up intimately connected with the place and space. Gogol realizes that
[…] this is a place that will always be here for her. It makes it easy to imagine her past, and her future, to picture her growing old. He sees her with streaks of gray in her hair, her face still beautiful, her long body slightly widened and slack, sitting on a beach chair with a floppy hat on her head. He sees her returning here grieving, to bury her parents, teaching her children to swim in the lake, leading them with two hands into the water, showing them how to dive cleanly off the edge of the dock. (156).
Lahiri's novel, through the suggestive use of two graveyards, creates the implication of belonging of (or lack of) the social space and the familial space. It takes time to enroot oneself in a new soil through generations. Gogol does not have any scope of availability of these spaces in the new land in the sense in which they are employed. But second generation Indian Americans, like Gogol and Moushumi, are caught up in a critical cultural juncture at a particular moment in the history of Indian American immigration. By not privileging any particular cultural positions – either of Gogol or of Moushumi – Lahiri, in fact, indicates the many possibilities of Indian American existence in the new (im)migrant space.
Works Cited
- Clifford, James. Routes: Travel and Translation in the Late Twentieth Century. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard UP, 1997.
- Field, Robin E. "Writing the Second Generation: Negotiating Cultural Borderlands in Jhumpa Lahiri's Interpreter of Maladies and The Namesake." South Asian Review XXV.2 (2004): 165-77.
- Foucault, Michel. "Of Other Spaces. Heterotopia" (1967) (trans. Jay Miskowiec). Available: http://www.foucault.info./documents/heteroTopia. Access: October 30, 2007.
- Lahiri, Jhumpa. Interpreter of Maladies: Stories of Bengal, Boston and Beyond. New Delhi: Harper Collins, 1999.
- Lahiri, Jhumpa. The Namesake. New Delhi: Harper Collins, 2004.
- Mukherjee, Bharati. "Introduction." Darkness. New York: Fawcett Crest, 1985.xiii-xvi.
- Sharma, Monika. "Rootless Gogol – Quest for Identity in The Namesake." Mapping Migrations: Perspectives on Diasporic Fiction. Ed.Charu Sharma. New Delhi: Books Plus, 2006. 47 – 63.
- Soja, Edward. Postmodern Geographies: The Re-assertion of Space in Critical Social Theory. London: Verso, 1989.


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