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Friday, June 30, 2017
Fourth Of July Weekend At Daytona Int'l Speedway
It's Fourth of July Weekend and that means Nascar racing from Daytona Int'l Speedway. If you've never experienced Nascar racing on a 2.5 mile banked super speedway, you're in for a treat. The Infinity Series will run tonight and the Monster Energy Series will run Saturday night.
Dale Earnhardt Jr., the sentimental favorite, shot to the top of the leaderboard Thursday in final Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series practice at Daytona International Speedway. An aerodynamic pull in a six-car pack carried Earnhardt to a lap of 193.328 mph in the Hendrick Motorsports No. 88 Chevrolet. Earnhardt, in his final full season of competition, is a four-time winner at the 2.5-mile track.
With so many talented drivers entered into both the Xfinity and Monster Energy race, lady luck and the ability to avoid "the big one" (Multiple car crash), may be the determining factor as to who wins the race, Good pit work and strategy will also be a factor.
Nevertheless, both tonight's race and tomorrow night's race will both be barn burners and the excitement of the close (200 mph) three abreast racing will keep you on the edge of your seats.
The XFINITY Series Coca-Cola Firecracker 250 at Daytona will start at 7:30 pm and be televised on NBCSN. The Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series Coke Zero 400 at Daytona will start at 7:30 and be televised on NBC.
At what point in time did speaking grammatically correct go out of style? Forget the average person, I'm talking about supposedly educated people on TV. When asked a question, more that half begin their answer with "So,....." The word "so" indicates a continuance of a previous thought. Ergo, no previous statement, misuse of the word.
When I hear the respondent start his reply with "So," I automatically assume he's not an English major and repetitive use of same tells me he's a C-average Bachelor of Arts graduate. And just like typical liberal television, no one calls them on or says a word.
And don't get me started on the mispronunciation of "nucular" (nuclear) or "axe" (ask).. Even worse, I love to hear the phrase, "a hard 'road' to hoe." You don't hoe a road, you hoe a (garden) row.
The News As I See It: A man in Minnesota a man in Minnesota was arrested and he handed the officer a Monopoly "Get out of jail free" card. Then, when he got to prison, his cellmate handed him a card that said, "You won a beauty contest."
Former Georgia congressional candidate, John Ossoff, who spent over 23.6 million on his campaign (compared to republican winner Karen Handel's mere 4.5 million), said his loss for the Democrats last week shows that President Trump and chief strategist Steve Bannon "should be sweating in 2018." Sweating? Republicans are 5-0 in recent elections.
A giant cyber attack hit computer systems in Russia. In a related story, Hillary Clinton just had a great week at computer camp.
This Date In History: 1859; French acrobat Charles Blondin, AKA Jean Francois Gravelet, walked across Niagara Falls on a tightrope. 1908, A powerful natural explosion from an unknown cause rocked the Tunguska Basin, in eastern Siberia, flattening hundreds of square miles of forest and resulting in tremors that could be felt hundreds of miles away.
1921; President Warren G. Harding appointed former president William H. Taft chief justice of the United States. 1934; 1934 Adolf Hitler secured his position in the Nazi party by a "blood purge," ridding the party of other leaders such as Ernst Roehm and Kurt von Schleicher.
1936; Margaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind was published. 1971; The 26th Amendment, which lowered the voting age to 18, was ratified by the states. 1998; The remains of a Vietnam War serviceman buried in the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers were identified as those of Air Force pilot Michael J. Blassie.
Picture Of The Day: Dale Earnhardt Jr,, wins at Daytona
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I think I'm going to start a new business making T-shirts out of eyeglass cleaning cloth. 2) The only time I have worn boxer underwear was when I was in the Army. 3) (911): "What's your emergency?" (Me): "Do you think this shirt matches my pants?" (991): "Not funny, sir, I can track your call." (Me): "It's a phone booth inside a bar." (911): "Is that you Jimmy?" 4) My neighbor called my cat fat the other day. It took me two hours to convince her that she just had thick fur. 5) McDonalds should have a 3rd window where you can trade in the wrong stuff that they gave you at the 2nd window.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Cancer - June 30th: Keep an open mind because you may be getting a compliment from a member of the opposite sex that you may not understand. As long as it does not involve a whip, handcuffs and a gerbil, go with it. It'll probably be fun, Chance of romance is 44.57 percent. It can be higher if you don't mind the handcuffs.
Birthdays: Walter Ulbricht, Communist leader 1893, Czeslaw Milosz, poet, essayist and novelist 1911, Lena Horne, Jazz and pop singer, dancer and actress 1917, Paul Berg, biologist 1926, Mike Tyson, boxer 1966.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: There is an Internet warning issued by the Departmet of Homeland Security. If you get an email titled; "Nude photo of Nancy Pelosi," Don't open it! It contains a nude photo of Nancy Pelosi.
Every time I walk into AREA 51 for happy hour, I can still hear my Mother's wise words: "Jimmy, don't pick that up! You don't know where it's been!"
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: My thanks to my pal Linda for her contribution to today's stories.
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Mama, how come all of grandma's hairs are white?"
An elderly woman lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for years. The now widowed woman lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.
One day her son came into her room holding a letter, saying "I just got some news, Mom. The government has come to an agreement with the people in North Dakota. They've decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?"
His mother replied, "What do I think?" Sign it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don't think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters!"
That's it for today, my little tadpoles. Remember, this politically correct thing is really getting out of hand. Now you have to refer to blondes with limited intelligence as a light-haired detour off the information superhighway. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
I hope that all my friends and readers have a safe and happy Fourth of July! (I'm available for barbecues.....)
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Friday, June 23, 2017
A man stumbles to a bar and asks for a drink. Noticing the only other man at the bar, he tells the bartender to buy him a drink. The first man then asks, "Where are you from?" The second man replies, "I'm from Miami, but my Dad was born in Alabama."
The first man says, "What a coincidence my Dad's from Alabama too! Let's have another round to Alabama." The second man says, "Good idea!"
Curious, the first man then asks, "Where in Alabama is your Dad from?" The second man replies, "Tuscaloosa." The first man says, "I can't believe it. My Dad's from Tuscaloosa too! Let's have another drink to Tuscaloosa."
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks, "What school did you go to?" The second man, "Hialeah High school. I graduated in '64." The first man says, "This is unbelievable! I went to Hialeah High too and graduated in '63!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. The regular says the bartender, "Hey Tom, what's going on?" The bartender says, "Nothing much, same old thing. Mondays are slow and the Sullivan brothers are drunk again."
The News As I See It: Following losses in two special elections, one Democratic staffer reportedly said, "We have 80-year-old leaders and 90-year-old ranking members. This isn't a party, it's a giant assisted living center." Even worse, the reporter then asked about the upcoming G7 summit and several democrats yelled. "Bingo!"
A Muslim model has become the first woman to appear in a hijab on the cover of Allure magazine. She also appears in a fashion spread entitled, "Ten Hot Looks for When You're Detained at the Airport."
Ikea recently announced that it will be launching a candle collection, because what goes together better than Ikea furniture and an open flame?
It's amazing that that Dennis Rodman is visiting North Korean leader Kim Jong Un again. It's even more amazing that they are friends, especially considering Kim Jong Un doesn't speak English and Dennis Rodman doesn't speak English.
This Date In History: 1868; Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an invention he called a ''Type-Writer.'' 1947; The Senate overrode President Truman's veto of the Taft-Hartley Act. 1969; Warren Burger was sworn in as Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court.
1972; Richard Nixon and H. R. Haldeman discussed ways to obstruct the FBI's Watergate investigation. Revelation of this conversation spurred on Nixon's 1974 resignation. 1992; Mobster John Gotti was sentenced to life in prison.
1995; Dr. Jonas Salk, the medical pioneer who developed the first polio vaccine, died. 2003; The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the University of Michigan's School of Law affirmative action policy.
Picture Of The Day: Many mango seasons ago.....
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) One of the few joys in life is seeing a barefooted kid step on his own Lego. 2) When someone's telling you a horrible story and they're crying, how long should I wait before take a bite of my corn dog? 3) If there isn't a Chinese millionaire that has changed their name to Cha Ching, then I don't see the point of money. 4) My friend's teenage kid said he wanted to go to JFK for some fried chicken. He won't be majoring in history, but it's nice to know he is scouting out his career options. 5) Starbucks should have a separate line for people who don't know what they want or how the world works..... and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Cancer - June 23rd: Don't trust little birdies, they're renown liars. The story of the tortoise and the hare will make you rethink things the coming week. Don't worry, the tortoise still wins because the hare doesn't read fairy tales.
Birthdays: Edward VIII king of Great Britain and Ireland 1894, Alan Turing computer scientist 1912, Wilma Rudolph Track and Field 1940, James Levine music director 1943, Clarence Thomas associate justice 1948, Frances McDormand actress 1957.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. The doctor says, "Impossible! Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? The young woman replied, "Well, no, I'm actually a blonde." The doctor said, "I thought so. Your finger is broken."
The married and had 6 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 4 more children. Again, Her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 2 more children. Alas, she finally died.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together."
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A farmer goes in half with a friend to buy a bull so he can increase his stock. A couple of weeks later the friend comes by to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won't look at the cows. His friend suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.
The following week his friend returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks delighted and remarks, "The bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced all my neighbor's cows!"
His friend says, "Wow! What did the vet do to that bull?" The farmer replied, "He just gave him some pills'" His friend asks, "What kind of pills?" The farmer said, "I don't know, but they sort of taste like peppermint."
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That's it for today, my little doodle bugs. Remember, regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while driving. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
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Friday, June 16, 2017
Screw PC - Tell It Like It Is !
I believe in peaceful protest, but if you approach me wearing a gas mask to disguise your identity, a bat-like weapon in one hand and a rock in the other hand, I believe I will shoot you. I will automatically assume you want trouble and I will oblige.
Peaceful protests should be allowed with the understanding that wearing masks and/or carrying any weapons mean immediate arrest, fines and jail time. It's time to quit mollycoddling these assholes and take the streets back for the peaceful good people of America.
I won't go into detail as to my feelings about protesters and thugs who block traffic for a supposed cause, sometimes throwing objects at the cars they force to stop. I will tell you that I have a solution to that problem and the word "braking" is not a part of it.
The era of political correctness is gone. Police should assemble en masse and take out any and all protesters who loot, destroy property and injure people.
The News As I See It: An 18-year-old field -goal kicker could be the first woman to play in the NFL. Scouts say she has the talent and desire. All she needs now is the criminal record.
A new study reveals that more than 2 billion people worldwide are overweight or obese. And at any given time, most of them are at Disneyland the same day as you.
An 88-year-old woman has set a new record for oldest female to stand on the wing of a flying plane. It sounds dangerous, but it's actually the safest place to be when you fly United.
This Date In History: 1487; The Battle of Stoke ended the Wars of the Roses. 1858; Senate candidate Abraham Lincoln declared, "a house divided against itself cannot stand."
1904; Events in James Joyce's novel Ulysses took place on this day, which is celebrated as Bloomsday, for the main character, Leopold Bloom. 1933; President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the National Industrial Recovery Act.
1963; Valentina Tereshkova of the USSR became the first woman in space. 1996; Russia voted in its first independent presidential election. Boris Yeltsin eventually won in a runoff.
Picture Of The Day: A peaceful protest means no masks and no weapons. If you were to enter a bank dressed like that, you would be arrested or possibly shot.
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) My uncle used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got him fired. 2) Political correctness is a useless theorem that allows the few to endanger the many. It is only necessary when being polite while describing ugly babies. 3) I wonder how long it will take my pregnant friend to realize that the list of baby name ideas I gave her are types of lettuce? 4) It takes more than five words to say "I love you" in Hawaiian. All it really takes is a pineapple and twenty dollars for those in the know. 5) My kids are always accusing me of having a "favorite child" which is ridiculous because I don't really like any of them.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Gemini - June 16th: If there's one thing you can take for granted this week, it's that things cannot be taken for granted. Of course, this excludes apparitional appearances by Ulysses or Cary.
The evidence for love is staring you in the face but you can't see the forest for the trees. I think the best thing to do is to stop wandering into forests and stand toe-to-toe with the one that attracts you.
Birthdays: Edward Davy, physician, scientist 1806, Stan Laurel, comic actor 1890, Barbara McClintock, geneticist 1892.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit Mexico. 150,000 Mexicans have died and over a million are Injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots. The European community (except France) is sending food and money. The United States, not to be outdone, is sending 150,000 replacement Mexicans.
An older man, very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit and smelling of an exotic cologne, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.
Seated at the bar is a younger, beautiful lady.The gentleman walks over, sits along next to her and orders a scotch. He takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years and then dies.
Once again, a ceremony is held and, at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, her husband cries out, "Watch out for that damned wall!"
A man was sitting at a bar when he noticed a woman with a particularly large diamond ring. As he admired the ring, the bartender came over and said, "That's the Glopman diamond. It's beautiful, but it comes with a curse." The man asked, "What's the curse?" The bartender replied, "Mrs. Glopman."
That's it for today, my little chicklets. Remember, teach a child to be polite and courteous, and when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
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Saturday, June 10, 2017
Late, Late Friday Edition
Pet food manufacturers should label their flavors as beef, chicken or tuna, but they sell to you, not your pet. So, they label them as "Tuna and Crab casserole" or "Chicken with white rice" I tried it once. It tasted like shit but it did help me with my hairball problem.
They hype flavors such as "Braised Veal with summer peas" or "Steamed Tilapia and Tuna In gravy." My cats have no appreciation for fancy names, basically because they can't read. They are, however, "telepathic" and know to come running when they hear the can opener.
A word to the wise. If your pets like it, let them eat it. They don't really care about the "Fancy" menu description.
The News As I See It: It turns out that Russia actually hacked the company that makes our voting machines. Which explains why anyone who pressed on the "Hillary Clinton" button heard a voice say, "Try again."
Walmart is offering a new service where employees will deliver items to your house on their way home from work. Not only that, they'll also deliver the items in a Target bag so your neighbors think you have a little class.
A boy in Maryland was trapped in an arcade claw machine after climbing through the prize door. Luckily, rescuers were able to get him out after about 35 quarters.
This Date In History: 1870; Author Charles Dickens died. 1898; China agreed to lease Hong Kong to Britain for 99 years. 1934; Donald Duck made his screen debut in The Wise Little Hen. 1944; The Republic of Iceland was established.
1973; Secretariat won the Belmont Stakes and became the first Triple Crown winner in 25 years. 1978; After 148 years, the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints allowed black men to become priests. 1993; Japan's Crown Prince Naruhito married commoner Masako Owada.
Picture Of The Day: The pals.....
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) The way I dealt with that unexpected cobweb to the face tells me I probably wouldn't have been much use in bar fight. 2) If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you're probably holding the Taser wrong. 3) When asked to help the kids as to my theory on Amelia Earhart's disappearance, I said, "Maybe she went Black" and now I don't have to help the with homework any more. 4) My girlfriend would get lost less frequently if her GPS would say, "No, your other left." 5) In Australia, they say tuna, not tuna fish, because tuna cow and tuna chicken are not readily available there.....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Gemini - June 9th: This is not the week to speculate. Love comes when you least expect it. 36 percent of all romances start in the bathroom. These two facts are linked and we point them out for your amusement and as something to look forward to. Every day is a winding road, they say. This is especially true today when you find your love walking down a winding road.
Birthdays: Peter the Great, czar of Russia (1682–1725) 1672, Cole Porter, composer 1891, Robert McNamara, defense secretary 1916, Michael J. Fox, actor 1961, Johnny Depp, actor 1963, Natalie Portman, actress 1981.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs." Her companion replies, "Odd, but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart. One nun says,"Two dogs, please." The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter.
Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." The mother superior is first to open hers.She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers, "What part did you get?"
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that," the husband explained, "My wife and I have a great relationship. She was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. She communicates well and I act like I'm listening."
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A woman with really hairy underarms boards a crowded bus. Unable to find a seat, she settles for hanging onto one of the poles.
A drunk man next to her stares at her for three minutes, then tells her, "I love a woman that does gymnastics." The woman looks at the drunk and replies angrily, "I don't do gymnastics!"
The drunk man then looks at the woman and says, "Then how did you get your leg up so high?"
The bride got a little too drunk at her wedding reception but was still determined to say a few words of thanks to the guests for all their presents.
She stumbled through a short speech and then slowly turned to point to the presents on display, which included a coffee percolator.
She said, "...and finally, I want to thank my new parents-in-law for giving us such a beautiful perky copulator."
That's it for today, my little peacocks. Remember, don't burn your bridges behind you, but it's not a bad idea to loosen the bolts a little each day. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
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More next week.
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Friday, June 2, 2017
I Can't Find My Glasses
I've learned to live with the fact that my memory is no longer an asset. I can sing the words to all the old songs, yet I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. I have to leave reading glasses everywhere I usually sit, ergo, the reason for today's picture.
I've learned little tricks along the way like acting like I'm leaving the kitchen and occasionally my subconscious gives up the secret as to why I'm there.
I've learned to always make a grocery shopping list because I never remember everything I need. This, of course, spawned a new game which I like to call, "Guess what's on the shopping list that that you left on your kitchen counter."
Fortunately, most memory lapses are harmless. I mean who cares if you put your TV dinner in the oven and neglected to turn the oven on. It's really no big deal as you realize you're about to pee into the dirty clothes hamper, but catch yourself before you begin, realizing you threw your dirty socks into the toilet.
Probably the best invention for the older crowd today is the remote on your car key pad that sounds off when you click it. This keeps people from wandering in parking lots trying to figure out where they parked. I've discovered that this particular plan doesn't work well in parking garages.
The moral to the story is that as you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes and I can't remember the other two.....
The News As I See It: Liberals and the liberal media are so angry that Trump pulled out of the Paris Climate Agreement that they're going to read the Paris Climate Agreement immediately.
There's a new report that says more than half of American workers didn't use all their vacation days last year. They had them, they just didn't take them. So the people who did the study asked why. Some said they did it to impress their boss with their work ethic. The rest said, "I hate my in-laws".
This Date In History: 1886; Grover Cleveland became the first U.S. president to get married in the White House. 1924; Congress granted U.S. citizenship to all American Indians. 1941; Baseball great, Lou Gehrig died of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, ALS, a rare type of paralysis now referred to as Lou Gehrig's disease.
1945; In Italy, a plebiscite rejected the monarchy in favor of a republic. 1953; Queen Elizabeth II of Britain was crowned in Westminster Abbey. 1997; Timothy McVeigh was found guilty of the bombing of the federal building in Oklahoma City. 2003; The European Space Agency launched the Mars Express probe. Contact with the lander Beagle 2 was lost in December.
Picture Of The Day: There's one good thing, though.....
Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) I accidentally totaled some woman's car. I saw her kid made the honor roll, so I let go of the wheel to applaud. 2) I once took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name. 3) I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. 4) Years ago, I heard my wife yell from another room, "wrong hole". I was a bit taken aback until I realized that it was just my 4-year-old trying to squeeze his head through the sleeve of his t-shirt. 5) People on Facebook really get pissed when you comment on their hospital check ins with "Glad you're not too sick to post your status.".....and that's five !
Today's Horoscope: Gemini - June 2nd: You're a bit crazy. You always have been and you always will be. Change, and your friends will stop liking you as much. Weird dreams may haunt you for the next few months, but may not mean that you're completely crazy.
While you may think that this horoscope is completely useless. I have to admit, I have a very guilty secret. You see, all horoscopes are completely useless.
There - I said it. Now, Mrs McGinty, who taught me everything I know, will rue the day she said I couldn't make it as an astrologer! Curse you Mrs McGinty!
Birthdays: Martha Washington, America's First Lady, wife of President George Washington 1731, John Randolph legislator 1773, Thomas Hardy novelist 1840, Sir Edward William Elgar composer 1857, Johnny Weissmuller swimmer 1904, Barbara Pym writer 1913, Cornel West scholar 1953, Freddy Adu, Soccer 1989.
The AREA 51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Three engineering students were sitting at a bar together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
The second student said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last student said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
The Hits Just Keep On Coming: A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
In California, gas went to $5.00 a gallon. Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting home-bound patients when she ran out of gas. Fortunately, an Exxon station was just a block away.
She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.
She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas, and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline and carried the full bedpan back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptist ladies watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm turning Catholic."
That's it for today, my little puppies. Remember, sarchasm is the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. I'm heading over to AREA 51 for happy hour.
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AceShowbiz - Shaquille O'Neal is reportedly getting back together with his ex-wife Shaunie, months after they sparked reconciliation rumors. Sources claim that the former spouses, who have remained close friends since their split in 2009, are working to give their failed romance another chance. The 47-year-old former professional athlete has allegedly been trying to win Shaunie back for years, but it's not until recently that she's open to the possibility of them being together again.
Two producers on "Basketball Wives", on which Shaunie stars, tells MTO News that Shaunie and Shaquille are "working on things." One of the sources says, "Shaunie wasn't taking Shaq's flirting seriously, she thought he was joking. But now that she knows he's serious [about reconciling] she's giving him a second chance."
Shaquille and Shaunie got married on December 26, 2002 at the Beverly Hills Hotel. They have four children together, Shareef Rashaun (born 2000), Amirah Sanaa (born 2001), Shaqir Rashaun (born 2003) and Me'arah Sanaa (born 2006). Shaunie also has a son, Myles, from a previous relationship, while Shaquille O'Neal has a daughter, Taahirah, with his former girlfriend Arnetta Yardbourgh.
The couple first separated after five years of marriage in September 2007, but reconciled shortly after. In November 2009, however, Shaunie filed for divorce, citing "irreconcilable differences."
Last year, Shaquille gave a shout-out to Shaunie and paid tribute to their wedding when launching a suit line through JCPenney for big and tall men. "This is the same suit I'm wearing when I marry @shaunieoneal5," he wrote along with a picture of him in the formal attire, while holding a red flower. Shaunie replied to his post, "Actually this suit is more fitting for next seasons star of The Bachelor on @abcnetwork #justsayin #wedidthatalready."
In June of this year, the two sparked reconciliation rumors after they were spotted getting playfully cozy during a family dinner at Mastro's Restaurant in Beverly Hills. The former basketball player was seen giving the "Basketball Wives" star a bear hug when she tried to photograph her ex-husband.

subset: commoncrawl


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In Malcolm Gladwell's latest book, "David and Goliath," he argues that many times we view the underdog incorrectly. One of those instances is in the very well-known… Read more "The Underdog Church"
Month: February 2014
I shared in my sermon this past Sunday some thoughts on 1 Corinthians 7 regarding sex, marriage, divorce, and being single. For the full message, go here.… Read more "Mixed Messages on Sex and Marriage"
The Secret to Comfort
Comfort is a huge thing. People pay a lot of money to be comfortable today. People will spring for the La-Z-Boy over the generic brand because La-Z-Boy… Read more "The Secret to Comfort"
Last Sunday was probably the least fun message I've had to give in my short experience of being a pastor. There was more feedback after this message… Read more "Dealing with Sexual "Stuff""


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This month's Grants Guide
See all the current opportunities for funding from various sources.
A Grants Guide is produced each month which lists the current grant opportunities.
This month's Grants Guide can be found here.
To add your name to the mailing list for the Grants Guide, email firstname.lastname@example.com or phone (02) 6861 2398.


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Local volunteers hard at work on building a self-sustaining greenhouse out of donated and up-cycled materials. There's a building northwest of Edmonton which, as it stands, might not look like much, but it's the groundwork for some lofty green goals.
Battery Technology Smashes the Old Order
The world's next energy revolution is probably no more than five or ten years away. Cutting-edge research into cheap and clean forms of electricity storage is moving so fast that we may never again need to build 20th Century power
Biofuel Stocks up 25%
Pacific Ethanol and Renewable Energy Group ran up last month for very different reasons, but both remain undervalued by the market. Shares of the nation's fourth largest ethanol producer, Pacific Ethanol(NASDAQ:PEIX), and the largest U.S. biodiesel producer, Renewable Energy Group(NASDAQ:REGI), turned in
Are you Sustainable? New App tells you the truth.
Calculate your water and carbon footprint, see how you compare to others and accept challenges to make a personal contribution toward a more sustainable future. … Read More
Solar Industry is making the same Mistakes
The solar industry just can't seem to learn from its mistakes. Believe it or not, and as I shall soon expand upon, the major solar players are repeating not only the errors of a year ago, but of 5 years ago. Developers are bidding extremely low, unsustainable prices for energy contracts — which led to the bankruptcy of SunEdison and Abengoa — and solar panel manufacturers are expanding faster than industry demand, driving a rush of bankruptcies in 2012.… Read More
Ideas for low cost homes
Low-cost homes are an idea that has come into focus more in this decade than ever in modern history. Finally, people are starting to realize that there is no earthly reason why a house should have to cost hundreds of
Local wells shut down from high levels of hazardous chemical
When the Environmental Protection Agency created new health limits for two hazardous chemicals, five Southern California water agencies instantly had water quality problems on their hands. The cities of Pico Rivera, Anaheim, Orange and Corona and the Eastern Municipal Water
More Bay Area recycling centers
As recycling redemption centers continue to close around the state, the remaining Bay Area locations are struggling to keep up with demand, leaving residents looking to cash in on recyclables with a dwindling number of options. The value of plastic,
This Former Gang Member Is Healing His Neighborhood Through Organic Gardening
We have to learn to be self sufficient, only then can we stand on our own! And people who've been in the thick of it know all too well how life can get, the pressures and pulls and temptations and
Urban Curbside Composting, Recycling Service
CEDAR CITY – Worm poop. That's the secret to what Tim Ferguson and Kelton Wood, owners of Nature's Way Recycling in Cedar City, hope will be their success. Not necessarily just for their own sake but, more importantly they said,


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LOS ANGELES (CBSLA) — Los Angeles teachers Sunday working for the second largest district in the nation will be preparing for their first strike in three decades.
With just hours left before a possible LAUSD teachers strike, the teachers union – the United Teachers Los Angeles (UTLA) held a news conference at 4 p.m. Sunday.
UTLA confirmed its 30,000 members will go on strike Monday.
"We are going on strike tomorrow for students who we miss in our hearts right now. They deserve better," said UTLA President Alex Caputo-Pearl. "We strike tomorrow for a reinvestment in our classrooms and because it matters."
Picketing is scheduled to begin at 7:30 a.m. Monday, according to UTLA, which indicated that a rally and march will follow at 10:30 a.m. starting at Grand Park on Spring Street in front of City Hall.
On Saturday, UTLA held a roundtable after rejecting the district's final offer from Friday.
The LAUSD says its offer would include a six percent raise and add 1200 new teachers to the upcoming school year. The superintendent said the new offer would reduce high school and middle school class sizes by two.
But the union's secretary told the Hutchinson Report's Earl Hutchinson it's not enough.
"This is not just about salary," said Arlene Inouye, UTLA's secretary. "And the district wants to make it about salary but this is about our students. It's about their learning conditions and for the educators' working conditions."
"We have the highest class sizes in the nation," she added.
District representatives were not at Saturday's roundtable but former Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa told CBS Los Angeles that he thinks the strike is a lose-lose situation.
"I just think it's wrong. Both parties need to come together, go to Sacramento, that's where the money is," he said. "It's not at LA Unified. They made a generous offer, some believe beyond what they can afford and the parties need to come together."
Meanwhile, LAUSD officials expressed their disappointment with the UTLA's strike plans and reminded parents that schools will remain open next week.
(©2019 CBS Local Media, a division of CBS Radio Inc. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Wire services contributed to this report.)
Look at the trillions going overseas to fund our wars of choices so corporations can have free profits off oil and mining ventures, they were denied until our invasions and government changes. It has been known for years Congress is bribed to do this and nothing is done about the corruption. And now we are really getting squeezed with failing infrastructure, falling bridges, and defunded health and social programs that result in the pain and suffering and death of tens of thousands of Americans a year. The low pay is just part of the symptoms


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Finding The Best Cruise Deals For Your Grand Vacation
You just find it thrilling and exciting to be able to finally enjoy the long-planned and awaited vacation, most especially when it is a grand cruise tour.
When you are planning on going on a cruise tour, you will have to consider planning ahead and in a timely manner as this may take quite a lot of preparation. When all else is organized like your budget and the proposed destination to travel, you will have to do the smart search for the best cruise package or deal that will suit your budget and preferences.
You have to still consider other destinations aside from the one you already have in mind, as there may be some destinations that are equally fun and exciting to be in but for a better package or deal.
The very first thing you have to do is to search for cruise ships and see what packages they have to offer, with all the inclusions and of course check the respective price. Also, check what are the available amenities from entertainment to the accommodation of the ship so that you will have an idea as to what to select and expect.
You can as well be keen in looking for cruise travels or travel agencies that have promotions as they usually have that season in a year that they have such awesome deals. As you plan, you can choose to subscribe as well to newsletter from cruise ships or cruise travel agencies so that you can get an updated information of their new offers.
Also, it is most advisable that you make your booking way ahead for you to have the accommodation already set and all the same you will have an ample time to prepare make changes. The good advantage of booking early is that it will allow you to ensure that the reservation for the accommodation and everything else is set and not be left out with remaining choices as what you want is no longer available. Also, there are cruise packages that give a great discount for booking a number of people, so if you can have this plan with family or friends to get the best deal.
Nonetheless, if you are all tied up and have less time in making all these preparations personally, you can always get the help of cruise travel agencies that you can trust to do the expert task for you and be in constant communication with you accordingly.
Getting the best package that will provide you with the most awesome experience in your cruise travel, will make the adventure worth the memory that you will share.
What I Can Teach You About Travel


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We've talked extensively about the benefits of being a small business in government contracting. Between the set-aside contracts and the preferential treatment during proposal evaluations, small businesses can gain many competitive advantages. So many, in fact, that borderline small-medium-sized businesses (SMBs) – and even some large businesses – may attempt to veil their true size in order to obtain or maintain a small business certification. Alternatively, some small businesses may enter into risky business agreements with larger businesses that violate the terms of set-aside contracts, such as what occurred in this recent scenario.
Then there are situations in which a business qualifies as a small business in some jurisdictions and assumes that their status applies broadly across all government subsectors. The latter is typically an honest mistake that arises at the state and local levels for two reasons:
The federal government typically follows the Small Business Association's (SBA) set-aside program guidelines, but even those pose some opportunities for missteps – or fraud – by small and large businesses alike. For example, the SBA says that "Two or more small businesses may pool their efforts by forming a joint venture to compete for a contract award. A joint venture of multiple small businesses still qualifies for small business set-aside contracts if its documentation meets SBA requirements."
What a small business cannot do is tap into a larger business to help them fulfill their contractual obligations as a small business. The federal government clearly articulates in its Federal Acquisition Regulations (FAR) that "for small business set-asides other than for construction or services…" any small business "proposing to furnish a product that it did not itself manufacture must furnish the product of a small business manufacturer unless the SBA has granted either a waiver or exception to the nonmanufacturer rule (see 19.102(f)). In industries where the SBA finds that there are no small business manufacturers, it may issue a waiver to the nonmanufacturer rule (see 19.102(f)(4) and (5))."
In other words, your small business must leverage other small businesses if awarded a set-aside contract. Of course, there are some exceptions. Beyond the waiver scenarios described in FAR Subpart 19.5, the SBA indicates that small businesses can form a joint venture with a large business – and compete with that large business for small business set-aside contracts – if the two businesses have a mentor-protege relationship through the SBA's All Small Mentor-Protege program. (And one of the businesses qualifies as a small business, which as we just discussed, may vary from agency to agency. The SBA "small business" definition is just a guideline, but not the end-all-be-all determinant for set-asides.)
A word of caution: Although the SBA mentor-protégé program technically allows a large business to participate in some solicitations reserved for small businesses, what you cannot do is scheme with a small business to exploit the set-aside program. The consequences could be dire, as Arena Americas and Military Training Solutions LLC realized in this high-profile case. As GovExec.com reports, "Arena Americas [a large international business] worked with Military Training Solutions LLC to obtain small business defense contracts that were represented as being performed by Military Training Solutions, but were actually performed by Arena Americas." As a result, Arena Americas had to forfeit $7.8 million (and the contract). The investigation also revealed that the CEO of small business Military Training Solutions had received unlawful kickbacks in a similar scheme, which led him to enter a felony guilty plea.
As evidenced in this situation and many other similar cases, the government has a checks and balances system in place to minimize fraud and abuse. Agencies will work with the SBA and other organizations to investigate and verify your small business status, as well as the status of your suppliers and partners. Don't risk losing your "disadvantaged" advantage due to an honest oversight or assumption about your eligibility as a small business – or by "stretching the truth" about your size or financial status. As your business grows (which is the ultimate goal, right?), you may lose some of the competitive advantages you had early on and see increased competition on full and open solicitations. That's okay. By this point, you'll have a solid performance record, a reputation for value and strong relationships to increase your candidacy. There is no need to cheat the system. Plus, there are still other disadvantaged business entity (DBE) opportunities set aside for women, minority, veteran and locally-owned businesses – especially at the state and local government levels.


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Argentina: Boca Juniors reacquaint themselves with title winning ways (video)
After a three year drought, Boca Juniors finally claimed the Argentinian title following last night's 3-0 win at home to CA Banfield in the Torneo Apertura (Opening Championship). Boca only needed one point to be sure of the title but sealed the deal with a win in front of their loyal followers at the Bombonera stadium in Buenos Aires and begin the celebrations with two rounds of matches still to be played in the first half of the Argentinian season.
Dario Cvitanivich bagged a brace in the first half with Diego Rivero grabbing Boca's third just sixty seconds into the second half which left the rest of the game to be enjoyed as a title winning party for fans of Los Xeneixes. The celebrations were all the more joyous given that nobody expected Boca to win the title this season especially given the difficulties they had suffered in recent years. With relegation matters determined by a three year averages system Boca were far from safe at the start of the 2011-12 campaign with the club lying in 15th place in the relegation table before a ball was kicked in anger. With Boca's arch rivals River Plate having faced the drop for the first time in their history last season, thoughts were more centred on staying safe rather than lifting silverware.
However Boca have turned their fortunes around in great style. After 17 of the scheduled 19 games of the Apertura, Boca still remain unbeaten with a record of eleven wins and six draws. Boca have scored 22 goals so far, the best in the league, but it is their defence which has significantly improved having only let in a measly four goals in this campaign. If they keep that up then they could be the first team to win both Apertura and Clausura championships since they themselves did it as recently as six years ago. This may not be so far fetched with their relegation worries now relieved, the club having lifted themselves to a very healthy sixth place in the averages table. For now it is the immediate present that concerns Boca and the league title, their 24th in the professional era, is now something that their fans can enjoy for themselves as opposed to celebrating the misfortune of their rivals.


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I am a 15 year veteran teacher with perfect VAM and observation scores. My lessons will be easy to incorporate to help your students find success! My resources range from elementary to middle school and multiple subject areas. I have taught multiple grade levels and all subject areas including self-contained and ESE. I love to get students up and moving! My Escape Rooms are the perfect solution for engagement, fun and learning!
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Career Booster for CFOs: a Stint Abroad
As Unilever NV's South American finance chief in the 1990s, Marcel Smits recalls reworking the books overnight after Venezuela slapped businesses with a new tax. He also had to keep up the company's sales of soap, mayonnaise and other staples in Colombia during a state of emergency.
"What you learn is that you have to keep an eye on the macroeconomics and political environment and how it influences your business," said Mr. Smits, now chief financial officer of Minneapolis-based agribusiness giant Cargill Inc., whose operations span five continents. "You're less inclined to hit the panic button, because societies function differently, and you have to have a little appreciation for that."
International experience is increasingly important in the finance suite. Nearly 40% of CFOs at the largest 1,000 public and private companies in the U.S. have worked abroad, and that figure is expected to rise, according to recruiter Korn/Ferry International .
The trend follows the money: Companies in the S&P 500 got roughly half their sales outside the U.S. in 2013, up about 10% over the past decade, according to S&P Dow Jones Indices.
Recent earnings figures underscore the value of understanding the local consequences of extreme volatility in currencies, commodities and politics: oil prices have fallen by nearly half over the past seven months, the dollar has climbed about 20% against the euro, and Ukraine remains a tinder box.
Years spent in the trenches abroad can help an executive navigate cultural mores, regulations and supply-chain disruptions, making a CFO with a well-worn passport a valuable asset.
"You can identify how to invest in a way that is robust," said David Meline, CFO of Amgen Inc., who previously worked in South Korea, Kenya, Brazil and Switzerland for General Motors Co.
Amgen is building a manufacturing facility in Asia. The company currently gets 25% of its sales outside the U.S.
During Amgen's year-end conference call last month, Mr. Meline warned investors to expect a foreign-exchange hit of 5 cents a share to earnings this year, despite the drug maker's three-year hedging program. "The context of that [overseas] experience is very valuable now," he said.
Of course, there are plenty of successful CFOs who have earned their stripes solely on U.S. soil, such as Amy Hood of Microsoft Corp.
Some steps on the ladder to CFO don't necessarily require a person to live in another country. A controller may not need to be so close to the scene, said Jeff Thomson, chief executive of the Institute of Management Accountants. "It depends on the nature of support provided. All organizations are different," he said.
Nevertheless, some aspiring CFOs regard a foreign assignment as a test of their mettle and more enriching than jetting to a company's overseas division four times a year.
Cara Kaminskey aims to be a CFO someday and is looking for une expérience internationale.
As a vice president of finance at New York-based CA Inc., which makes software for mainframe computers and other hardware, Ms. Kaminskey regularly travels to the company's offices in Asia, Europe and South America.
"I've learned that business is not always conducted the same way," she said. "So it's been important for me to leverage similarities and otherwise find opportunities for efficiencies."
When Gilead Sciences Inc. is recruiting, CFO Robin Washington asks job applicants in Europe if they're willing to do stints in the U.S., and when she hires in Japan, she looks for résumés that include time served in corporate America.
"Experiences and adaptability in a fast-moving global environment—that's what we're looking for in leaders," said Ms. Washington, who spent about three years in Amsterdam working for PeopleSoft Inc.
Competition for some exotic locales can be tough, because others may require living in challenging conditions.
"People operating on the ground in those kinds of environments are forced to respond quickly, and that agility is typically learned in fast-growing, developing markets," said Thomas Mangas, CFO of Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide Inc.
Mr. Mangas began his career at Procter & Gamble Co. , where he rose to CFO of the company's operations in Turkey, the Caucasus and Central Asia. Overseeing the company's finances in 10 countries helped him qualify for other key roles, such as vice president of finance and accounting for the company's global beauty and hair-care unit, he said.
"Boards want to see that experience so they can be more confident as they build their management team to drive a global agenda."
The experience of "being local" in another country is essential, Mr. Mangas says: "I don't believe you can get there by being there a week or two and flying back out."
* Corrections & Amplifications: CA Inc. makes software for mainframe computers and other hardware. The above article originally said incorrectly that the company makes accounting software.
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Pangea's 5G Project has received a boost following the appointment of Dr Arslan Usman as System Architect.
With a Wireless Communications PhD Usman will unite the commercial and academic sides of the joint 5G Project launched by Pangea alongside Kingston University and Innovate UK.
The project's intention is to develop enhanced video compression and data transfer capabilities over 5G connectivity.
Usman completed his PhD in IT Convergence Engineering in South Korea, and is credited with over 30 academic publications within the Wireless Communications field, with a heavy focus on 5G wireless networks.
Dr Usman said: "My role is exciting – we have an ambitious agenda at hand—turning extensive research work from the world of 5G and beyond into user-centric, front-line devices and platforms."
Pangea's Ops Director Chris Romeika commented, "We welcome Arslan to the team as the first person to have hands-on, in-depth 5G experience from the lab environment."


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Opinion: the film uses the look and themes of American Westerns to tell stories about Ireland's wild west, the famine and British colonial rule
By Alison Garden, Irish Research Council
Across a barren, windswept wilderness, a man crosses the screen on horseback, intent on securing revenge. It's a scene evocative of the iconic images of the American Western, which are immortalised in 20th century film. But this isn't the wild west of the United States, but the wild west of Ireland, as presented to us in Lance Daly's famine thriller, Black '47.
The figure on horseback is Martin Feeney (James Frecheville), a deserting Connaught Ranger. Upon returning to Connemara, he finds his mother has been killed by famine and fever, his brother hanged by the Irish constabulary and his brother's wife and her children starving to death. Over the course of the film, Feeney unleashes a hellish catalogue of violent retribution on those he deems responsible for his family's suffering. He soon becomes the target of a search party consisting of the jingoistic British Sergeant Pope (Freddie Fox), a raconteur and translator called Conneely (played with relish by Stephen Rea) and police Inspector Hannah (Hugo Weaving), whose relationship with Feeney is "complicated".
Can Black '47 be termed a "Western" in the cowboy and gunslinger type-vein? Stephen Rea thinks not, but Daly has labelled the film "a potato western", stating that the film's key inspirations included Sam Peckinpah and Sergio Leone. Declan Quinn's bleached out greyscale cinematography is stunning – a remarkable Irish translation of the vast, bleak vistas we recognise from American Westerns.
The bonds between men, sometimes with erotic overtones, are usually at the core of Westerns and the complex relationship between Feeney and Hannah follows this pattern. And, like most Westerns, Black '47 has a woeful problem with gender, featuring almost no women.
It's striking that almost none of the film's reviews have considered the importance of the Irish west to Black '47
There are two key reasons why we might view Black '47 as a Western: its deep investments in revenge and violence. The cultural critic Richard Slotkin argues Westerns are driven by the concept of "regeneration through violence". Feeney's quest for justice for his family – and by extension, the Irish people – is the perfect example of a revenge narrative.
Although nuanced, Daly's film does not spare us from the horrors of the Famine and British colonial rule. We witness the brutality of the Irish Constabulary protecting British landowner's interests, the cruelty of the military and stockpiles of grain being sent overseas while the Irish starve. Using tropes and ideas from the Western to explore the difficult relationship between Ireland and Britain is something other writers and artists have done too, including Paul Muldoon, Elaine Reichert and Tom Murphy.
From RTÉ Radio One's Ryan Tubridy Show, an interview with Black '47 director Lance Daly
It's striking that almost none of the film's reviews have considered the importance of the Irish west to Daly's film and the seminal role of the west in the Irish national imagination. In both Ireland and the United States, the west has been fundamental to national self-image.
In Ireland, this fascination with the west goes back to antiquity, with pagan mythology feeding into the idea that there was something more authentically "Irish" to be found in the west. Colonisation also contributed to this, as the east became associated with British rule. The Irish language, which had been in decline since the 17th century, was able to survive for longer in the western counties so, from a linguistic perspective, there was some truth to the idea that west was the "real" Ireland.
Black '47 draws on these ideas about the Irish west and plays with tropes of the American Western
The pinnacle of the obsession with the west happened during the Irish Literary Revival at the turn of the w0th century, when writers sought to reclaim and bolster a sense of Irish identity through cultural nationalism. The west was vital to this project and primary figures from the Revival, W.B. Yeats, Lady Gregory and Douglas Hyde (one of the founders of Conradh na Gaeilge), all wrote works inspired by the west.
The most iconic depiction of the west from this time is arguably J.M. Synge's Playboy of the Western World (1907), which presents us with an image of a wild, lawless and violent Ireland, and a young man, Christy Mahon, who claims he has killed his father. Such depictions of the Irish west find an echo in the work of the contemporary playwright (and Hollywood moviemaker), Martin McDonagh, who is, interestingly, also deeply inspired by the same Western directors – Peckinpah and Leone – that Daly cites.
From RTÉ TEN, a report on the Dublin premiere of Black '47
Black '47 draws on these ideas about the Irish west and plays with tropes of the American Western. At one point, Lord Kilmichael (Jim Broadbent) declares he "long[s] to see the day when a Celtic Irishman is as rare in Ireland as a Red Indian in Manhattan", drawing a clear connection between the two wests. Manhattan may not be part of the imaginative terrain of the American west, but the Native American has a central role to play in Western.
This is where we need to start being careful with slippery analogies. Such talk and ideas were fundamental to 19th century British imperialism, but we need to proceed cautiously when approaching such logic today. Race and ethnicity are at the heart of the Western: it is a genre that dramatises the "conquering" of the Frontier and the genocide of an indigenous population. Black '47's director suggests that his film is "almost an anti-western in that it is told from the side of the Apaches" because the Western is about "the killing of the natives".
From RTÉ Radio One's Arena, a review of Black '47 by Maia Mathieu and Paul Whitington
The devastation of British colonialism and the famine should be acknowledged, but we must be critical about laying claim to histories and narratives of suffering that are not our own. Emily Mark-Fitzgerald highlights that Black '47 can be viewed in some ways "as historical tragedy screened through the nationalist lens of subsequent generations" and one wonders what Daly's intention is by using such ethnically-inflected language. The director and cast also spoke how Frecheville looked "too Irish" to play the British soldier Pope because of his ginger beard and, in an important early scene, we meet a Young Irelander with auburn hair.
Such "Celtic coding" isn't particularly productive and might actually be an internationalisation of the kinds of ideas that the British propagated about its Celtic fringe (including Scotland and Wales) in the 19th century, when red hair was used to mark out those deemed to be "racially inferior". Black '47 is a gripping and satisfying depiction of a particularly horrific moment in Irish history, but this doesn't mean that we shouldn't ask questions about who is included in this Irish history and whose stories are still untold.
Dr Alison Garden is currently an Irish Research Council Postdoctoral Fellow in the Humanities Institute at UCD and will be a Marie Skłodowska-Curie Fellow at Queen's University, Belfast from October 2018.
The views expressed here are those of the author and do not represent or reflect the views of RTÉ


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Tag Archives: calgary
Summer Plans; Be a House Concert Host
Summer PlansWhy not plan a house concert this summer? Summer started early for us in Alberta and is in full swing. I am loving the lush green leaves and blue skies. Fragrant blooms abound. The road ahead is uncertain, yet I keep my feet steady & my … Continue Reading ››
New Mural
This is a sketch I did of the mural. The drawing is primarily for scale. The subject matter is organic, therefore, once I began painting I worked intuitively within the structure I had created. The wall was fourteen feet wide and eight feet high. I painted this in a master bedroom. … Continue Reading ››
Happy New Year 2014 New Story
An icy walk by the river recently while the sun was out. Calgary was one of the coldest places on earth just before the holidays and we have had lots of snow, the most in 112 years. I am thankful for the Chinooks that lessen the strain of the winter. … Continue Reading ››
Life is a Series of Transitions
The smell of decaying leaves nauseated me. Though decay and death is an opportunity for rebirth, it feels daunting. The nights are ever so quiet, stars brightly lighting the pathways of the galaxy.Winter is inevitable. This is one of the last pictures I took before the snow arrived, it's … Continue Reading ››
Living Authentically
These hollyhocks were found growing on a hillside in an older area of the city as I drove by. Hollyhocks do not grow wild to my knowledge. Maybe the seeds were carried by the wind or by birds, or perhaps a house once stood there. In my own inner … Continue Reading ››
Embracing Change
The winds of change have been blowing strong. I have a sense that I could not go back now, even if I wanted to. Cool night wind on my skin one evening recently did not chill me. It only served to freshen my awareness of the changing landscape. This magnificent … Continue Reading ››
Spring Rumblings
It was early spring when I began this post. I love new beginnings and the fresh crisp feel of new adventures. Some adjustment is required as all of our bodies are waking up to new life. I have been doing a lot of soul searching to arrive at this point. … Continue Reading ››
Vintage Jazz by Deborah Robinson
Hello all. I am excited that I am finally releasing a recording done some time ago. This song was five years in the writing, one day it finally popped out, my personal favourite. Inspired my my days of being down and … Continue Reading ››
Happy Solstice
Happy Solstice~Merry Christmas~Happy Holidays and welcome to the age of Aquarius. Who ever thought we would have made it this far?
We have had a a lot of icy fog and hoar frost this year and it is beautiful. Occasionally the sun breaks through. And though I would like to … Continue Reading ››
Abstractive Reality
The weekend is upon us and what it holds is written in the stars. I have spent the week submitting resumes and I have put out well over one hundred.
My multi-diversity is looking for it's special niche and that cannot be far … Continue Reading ››
Moments Like These
Hello everyone, thanks to all for your support. I have had some response to my previous post, and am presently following some leads.
Something is sure to come through in the very near future.Your support means a lot.Hope you like … Continue Reading ››


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With job growth pushing past 20 percent, some of the highest starting salaries in the country and unparalleled hiring appetites from employers, it should come as no surprise that software engineering is one of the most in demand professional fields in the country. The U.S. News & World Report listed software developer as the best job in the country and Career Cast ranked it as the 7th best career field. The following guide provides an overview of software engineering, insight into career avenues and earning potential, a review of professional development, as well as job preparation and planning advice.
More than 280,000 software development positions will be created nationally by 2028.
As a branch of computer science, software engineering includes the development and building of computer systems software and applications software. Systems software consists of programs that include computing utilities and operations systems and applications software includes user-focused programs, including database programs, Web browsers and more. Knowledge of programming languages, software development and computer operating systems are three major components of the field. Software engineering is a related, but slightly different occupational field than computer hardware engineering, which is concerned with the design and development of hardware and computing technologies (e.g. processor design, networking, etc.)
Some of the major branches and career paths in software engineering include:
Problem solving-based, non-Web-based software development that includes programming languages such as Java and C#.
Designing and coding background software created to support application development; includes program languages like C and C++.
Designing computing systems and software to work on non-computing devices, such as automobiles. Uses programming languages such as C and assembly languages.
Software engineering is one of the most in-demand and fastest growing occupational fields in the country. Silicon Valley has become a hotbed of activity, where an explosion of capital-backed technology investments into start-ups has elevated software engineers to rock star status, allowing even entry-level candidates to snag $100,000 per year positions. Consider this employment snapshot for software developers in San Francisco and San Jose, from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. For every 1,000 jobs in the region, software developers account for 82 positions – that's 8.2 percent of the entire workforce.
Jobs Per 1,00045.71
Total Employed44,200
Average Salary$122,835
Jobs Per 1,00036.74
Total Employed35,460
Average Salary$124,635
There are several factors driving investment into software engineering: the growing complexity of technology, massive venture capital-backed start-ups, new and emerging industries, and the increasing reliance on mobile technology. In fact, according to Robert Half International (a human resources consulting firm) mobile is in fact one of the top three industries in technology. Mobile applications developers and mobile designers are positioned to see a 10.2 percent and 6.8 percent salary increase in 2015. A review of employment data from the BLS shows that software engineering careers are projected to experience a 22 percent increase in employment openings nationally between 2012 and 2022, and related career fields could see growth upwards of 36 percent during that time as well.
Information Security36.50%
Software Applications22.80%
Information Systems20.70%
Systems Software20.40%
Web Development20.10%
Computer Programming8.30%
Software developers (applications) have experience with a range of programming languages, such as Java and C++, and are responsible for designing and coding software for a host of different applications.Overall occupation growth States with the best opportunities
Software developers have a background in programming skills and languages such as C#, Microsoft .NET and SQL. Responsibilities may include coding and debugging programs, conducting quality assurance tests and analyzing business requirements for software.Overall occupation growth States with the best opportunities
Web developers have experience with Web-based applications, coding and technologies, ranging from PHP to HTML, JavaScript to AJAX. Responsibilities vary but typically include writing code for websites and providing technical support.Overall occupation growth States with the best opportunities
For the foreseeable future, the demand for skilled and qualified software engineers has no end, according to Robert Half. This demand is fostered by a transforming economic landscape, driven by the need for computing technology solutions. With the advent of the Internet of Things, smart cities, green technology and big data, all industries are quickly becoming technology industries.
With such unprecedented growth in a multitude of industries, software engineers can pursue careers in any number of industries, including technology, healthcare, automotive manufacturing, green energy, remote sensing, aeronautics and finance. New jobs like automotive embedded software engineer, health informatics engineer and financial software engineer are becoming more commonly seen as each of these industries continues to expand.
An engineer that designs and develops computing systems and technologies for use in automobiles.
Average national salary is $74,000
Ford Motor Company, Chrysler Group, Navistar Inc., Delphi, Meritor, FTE Automotive USA Inc. and BEHR America
The global competition – not just in the U.S. – for software engineers is accelerating, with companies regularly competing to attract talent. Specialty areas including .NET, mobile and Java development are currently in particular demand. A review of salary and hiring data from Glassdoor reveals that software engineers are valued across industries, from cloud computing to enterprise networking, social networking to e-commerce.
Pravin George, director of technology for Mylife.com, offers insight into the field of software engineering.
Could you describe your position and responsibilities at MyLife.com?
My responsibilities are to analyze MyLife.com's business needs and recommend technically sound, scalable solutions that are implementable under aggressive timelines. I am also responsible for the continued maintenance and enhancement of all MyLife.com web properties. I am tasked with leading a team of exceptional, high performing engineers to ensure that they stay motivated, are sufficiently challenged and are trained in cutting edge technologies.
Why did you choose to pursue a career in software development?
My love affair with software development started at the age of 10 when a neighbor presented me with an Atari 800 for my birthday. My first program was written in the software language – BASIC. It took me a few days to write a program that did simple addition and subtraction. But practice makes perfect and I can now write this program in a few minutes. I have never looked back since. I love the sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that I get from seeing folks use websites that I helped build.
What advice do you have for students
considering a career in software engineering/development?
The common traits that we find in good software engineers are good analytical skills, a persevering attitude, an ability to always keep the big picture in mind and an attention to detail. My advice would be to take (or audit) a beginner level software engineering course and see if you have an aptitude for writing code. You may find it to be your calling.
As a developer, what trends are
you noticing in regards to information security?
Websites are now increasingly taking steps to ensure that the person logging in is indeed who they say they are. Many financial institutions have implemented 2-factor authentication, so the user will need to provide an additional piece of information after entering the password. Websites have also started encrypting data stored on their servers to prevent data breaches.
Software engineering professionals are skill-based, requiring highly specialized training in both technical and non-technical areas. Although skills vary from position to position, employers do seek candidates who possess a blend of technical and soft skills, skills that are commonly known as "employability" skills, according to the National Workforce Center for Emerging Technologies (NWCET). Employers seek candidates who have universal skills that – when combined with technical skills – make them a valuable asset. A review of soft skills valued by employers, as listed by NWCET, Monster.com, Cyber Coders and other publications, include the following:
Beyond soft skills, computer engineers also develop both technical and industry-specific skill sets that are applicable to all careers in computer engineering and specific areas of practice, respectively. Example technical skills include programming languages, computer hardware and software, and system architecture, while industry-specific skills are influenced by vendor, industry and company practices. Individuals who have a blend of technical and employability skills are inherently more valuable to software organizations than those who are only proficient in a handful of areas. Broadly, the software engineer's toolbox can be divided into five core areas: Computing Theory, Product Engineering, Quality Assurance, Product Deployment and Management. Below is a table of the major skill areas with example related knowledge and skill factors.
|Computing Theory
|Product Engineering
|Quality Assurance
|Product Deployment
|Programming Languages
|Project Audits
|Software Design
|User Documentation
|Risk Assessment
|Computer Architectures
|Software Testing Techniques
|Code Optimization
|Product Packaging
|Project Planning & Management
|Software Architectures
|Technology Innovation
|Debugging Techniques
|System Conversion
|Organizational Structure and Behavior
|Operating System Concepts
|Statistical Process Control
|Software-Hardware Integration
|Technology Transfer
|Cost Management
Computer programming skills in particular are in increasing demand by employers. In 2015, Cyber Coders projects the most in-demand programming skills to include the following:
These development skills can impact earning potential, with some programming and development skill sets leading to a 9 percent increase in pay.
The need for talented software engineers has turned into an arms race in not only Silicon Valley, but across the country. Salaries are skyrocketing, with some developers and engineers commanding six figure salaries, including bonuses, directly out of college. Consider data from ComputerWorld's 2014 IT Salary Survey: entry-level careers in the field paid between $68,000 and $100,000, according to respondents of the survey.
Across the entire industry, salaries continue to tick northward, with most software engineering careers paying between $80,000 and $105,000 per year, according to the BLS. The table below includes 2014 salary data from the BLS for six software engineering careers.
|Career Field
|Lowest 10%
|Top 10%
|Computer and Information Systems Managers
|Information Security Analysts
|Computer Programmers
|Software Developers, Applications
|Software Developers, Systems Software
|Web Developers
ComputerWorld and the BLS are just two of the several organizations with surveys that all point to the same thing: hiring confidence is high for software engineers and earning potential is higher. Consider a salary comparison for software engineers from Dice Holdings, Inc., Robert Half International, BLS and ComputerWorld – software engineers, indeed, have extremely strong earning potential.
To that point, earning potential varies by location, experience, education, industry, employer and certification. In order to provide tech professionals with a better understanding of the range of salaries in specific career fields, Robert Half International conducts a tech industry report annually. Its 2015 IT salary survey confirmed earnings for software development jobs have increased by an average of 6.3 percent between 2014 and 2015.
With the increasing pressure to attract talented software engineers, many companies are starting to struggle with retention. According to Robert Half, more and more engineers are willing to pursue several employment opportunities as companies bid for their services. Benefits are an increasingly important component of employment packages being offered to software engineers. In its 2015 salary survey, Robert Half asked respondents about their benefits packages. The most common benefits offered to employees can be considered "traditional" benefits, including: medical insurance, paid time off, dental insurance, life insurance and retirement benefits. Most companies also offered employees flexible work hours, work-at-home options, on-site cafeterias and subsidized training opportunities.
Many technology companies are also starting to up the ante for on-site perks, a method of attracting, retaining and keeping employees happy and content. In Silicon Valley, tech companies have become famous for their perks packages as much as their annual salaries. Some non-salary perks that employees of the following companies enjoy are:
Although it might seem like software engineers can write their own career tickets, prospective job
candidates must be prepared to actually land the position. With increased demand comes increased competition
and expectation from
employers. Employers want talent and a good company fit, so job candidates are expected to demonstrate their
raw intelligence, problem solving skills and personality during the interview process. There are multiple
steps to consider
before sitting down in the conference room to participate in an interview.
While every prospective engineer may have their sights set on landing a job at Amazon, Google, Facebook, or Oracle, they might actually want to temper their expectations and start smaller on the job search. Entry-level work experience is vital for professional development in software engineering, and real-world experience becomes a bankable commodity in career advancement. In addition to having realistic expectations about career potential, there are other important things to keep in mind while on the lookout for a new position:
For current software engineering major, internships provide a path to translate classroom-based instruction to real-world scenarios, get a sense of the industry and make connections for future employment endeavors.
Certifications were once the end game for any individual seeking employment in tech career fields. Today, certifications are simply part of the game in general. In software engineering, certifications such as Certified Software Development Associate (CSDA) or Certified Software Development Professional (CSDP) from IEEE are ways to demonstrate a commitment to the profession, increase professional credibility and improve employment marketability.
Locating a job doesn't just start and end with a search on LinkedIn or Monster.com. Making connections in the industry can help with both finding and landing job opportunities. Software engineers can join organization such as the Association of Software Professionals and attend conferences and local events to develop professional connections in the field.
The next steps include applying to and interviewing for a career as a software engineer. First up: the resume. Job candidates should understand a one-size-fits-all approach does not work – even if the resume is filled with impressive qualifications. Preparation to secure a position is the most important part of the job planning process, and it begins before ever sending out a resume. When preparing a resume, research the company and position to make sure the resume is tailored to the specific requirements of the position. For example, experience in SQL is not the same as experience in Ruby or Python.
For the interview process, preparation is the name of the game. As mentioned above, companies want talent and a culture fit. That means the job candidate is expected to have an understanding of the position, the organization and their own professional skill set or industry.
Prospective job candidates should take the time to research the background of the company, its history and place in the market. Understanding the company's goals and objectives demonstrates to employers the candidate is well-prepared and committed to the position.
Take the time to research the technical requirements listed in the job description. Going into an interview unprepared could lead to disaster.
Does the job description ask for knowledge in areas that the candidate hasn't studied since college (e.g. C++)? That means taking the time to brush-up and refresh basic skill sets positions the candidate for success in the interview.
In turn, all three of those points set the stage for the interview process as most companies ask software engineering candidates to demonstrate their skill sets through a series of trial projects, testing and in-person interviews. In any interview, candidates will be asked about specific programming languages and computing technologies (such as operating systems, Ruby, Python, MySQL) and go through cognitive testing with problem-solving questions or puzzles (such as arrays, stacks or linked lists). The prospective software engineer needs to be ready to handle and answer such questions during the interview. Being prepared is the key.
According to the BLS, more than 1 million individuals were employed as software engineers nationally in 2013. As noted above, with a projected 22 percent increase in career opportunities between 2012 and 2022, software engineering is most definitely a career in demand. By total employment, the states with the most software engineers include California, Texas and Virginia – with the rest of the top 10 including:
Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics
Although California, Texas and Virginia have the most software engineers, the states with the highest concentration of software engineers include Washington, Virginia and Massachusetts. In fact, for every 1,000 employees in Washington State, 21 are software engineers.
Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics
Target graph, states with most growth potential for software engineers by 2022


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How to Improve Kidney Function After Loosing Motions and Vomiting2014-10-09 02:04
Loosing motions and vomiting are the two common symptoms of kidney dysfunction. Timely treatment is urgently needed otherwise dehydration that can lead to Acute Kidney Failure may occur. How to improve kidney function after losing motions and vomiting?
Here are some general suggestions that you can follow. However, you may have to make some changes based on your own condition. Our doctors online are glad to provide you with free help.
Home remedies
1. Treatment of Loose Motions with Mint, Lemon and Honey
Mint is very valuable in treating diarrhoea. It may be given in any form. If one teaspoon of mint juice is given with a teaspoon of lime juice and one teaspoon of honey, it shows excellent result. This mixture may be given two or three times a day.
2. Treatment with fluid
The aim is to prevent dehydration, or to treat dehydration if it has developed. As a rough guide, drink at least 200 mls after each watery stool.
If you vomit, wait 5-10 minutes and then start drinking again, but more slowly. For example, a sip every 2-3 minutes, but making sure that your total intake is as described above.
3. Treatment with medicines
You can buy antidiarrhoeal medicines from pharmacies. The safest and most effective is loperamide. The adult dose of this is two capsules at first.
Natural therapies
To improve kidney function, you cannot depend on the above treatment to relieve your symptoms. The target of treatment should be repairing damaged renal tissues. Well then, what is the best treatment?
Here, I have to recommend you to take Micro-Chinese Medicine Osmotherapy that is an external application based on Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). The effective ingredients have the function of improving blood circulation, so that it can supply more blood and oxygen to the kidneys. Then the kidneys can repair themselves effectively and kidney function can be improved.
Any questions, contact us now!
Our Treatment EffectMouse over the picture, it can be magnified.
You can take a look at this patient's report. His creatinine was 1028 and urea level was 39.7 on 2018-12-11; creatinine level was reduced to 331 and urea was 16.1 on 2019-1-5. After about 25 days' treatment in our hospital, his creatinine level was reduced by 697, and urea was reduced by 23.6. Hope his condition gets better and better.
Our Treatment effect
Proteinuria is a common symptom of kidney diseaseMouse over the picture, it can be magnified.
It can make your urine foamy. Although it does not make you feel uncomfortable, it can impair your renal function and make your kidney disease worse. Conventional treatment such as steroids and immunosuppressants can hardly make it negative. In our hospital, systemic Chinese medicine treatment can help you turn it negative. Look at this picture, bubbles in urine become less and less with our treatment going on.
Kidney Disease
Contact Us
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Self help manuals and chat rooms help compulsive gamblers to face their addiction head on. Through this process they are able to realize for the first time in their life that they have been trapped in a world of self destruction.Self help manuals help the compulsive gambler to see things in a new perspective. While a person in under the grips of this addiction they seem to have a hard time focusing on everyday tasks including work. Then one day they realize they have a problem but are not yet ready to deal with it. They start to learn a little more about what's happening to them. Even though they realize they have a problem, they don't know what to do or where to go. In most cases they know about Gamblers Anonymous but are unwilling to reveal their identity. They take the time to surf the internet but still not sure what to do. They see a recovery program that cost less then twenty dollars. They make the excuse that's ridiculous it should be for free. That same night they decide to go out to the gambling establishment. They lose over three hundred dollars. They now realize they need help. They go back to that same website but have no credit card or means at that point in time to make a purchase. They decide as soon as they get money they will purchase the stop gambling manual. As soon as they get money they forget they ever have an addiction and head right to the local gambling establishment only to start the cycle all over again. Once they have had enough they make the purchase and start their recovery process. A few months later they can not believe what they have done and how this could ever happen to them. This is where the chat rooms come in. The stop gambling chat rooms are filled with people who understand what you have going through. Once the compulsive gambler enters the chat room they realize they are not alone and there are people there who can relate to the road they have traveled.Self help manuals and self help stop gambling manuals help the compulsive gambler to move forward with their life as the recover. It's up to the individual to decide what's right for them as they recover. There are many people who have successfully stopped with Gamblers Anonymous, so it's important to keep an open mind when finding a recovery program that will works for you.
Category Archives: Uncategorized
What You Need to Know About Online Gambling
Las Vegas is a popular place to travel to if you like the excitement of casino games where you can enjoy playing games in the hope to win cash. However since the age of the computer online gambling has become very popular. And you do not need to travel to have a bet.Everyday tens of many thousands of people go online to gamble. There are many forms of online gambling including online casino websites where you can fake your chance at games like poker, roulette, blackjack, slot machines and online sporting websites where you can bet on your favourite baseball, basketball, soccer teams or your favourite horse. However there are no guarantees that you will win.Gambling is addictive and online gambling is no exception. Some people keep gambling in the hope of a win and then can lose so much money that they go into debt losing their hard earned cash. Some have even sold their house or car to pay for the debt.Whet you should do to avoid going into debt is to limit the amount of bets you make. Remember, if you can not afford to pay for the bet, then do not bet. For some it can be easy to go into credit card debt. One idea to avoid this is to use a debit plus card which runs like a credit card but you only have 'x' amount of money on it. Only put money aside into this account that you are prepared to lose. This will keep control of your spending.You need to remember that gambling is fun and exciting especially if you are winning. However, you are not always going to win and you need to focus on reality. If you win, treat your winnings as a bonus. You could put the winnings into a separate savings account which you can use to buy things you like eg clothes, savings for a holiday, tools for a hobby, sports equipment and so on. If you lose, then it is unfortunate. If you have not gone over the amount of money you are prepared to lose, then call it a form of entertainment.So to sum up, online gambling is very popular with a huge range of interesting things to bet on. There are no guarantees of a win and it is addictive. But to enjoy your online experience, limit your money to an amount you are prepared to lose and treat all winnings as a bonus which you can put aside for other things you would like to buy.


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Three delightful planters decorated with the splendor of a busy garden. Each one has a vintage-inspired botanical illustration featuring butterflies, birds, and blooms in striking colors that will multiply the beauty of your growing greenery.
Item weight: 3 lbs.
Large: 7 1/8" x 7 1/8" x 7" high; medium: 5 5/8" x 5 5/8" x 6¼" high; small: 5" x 5" x 4" high.
Plastics and calcium carbonate.
Plants not included.
Home Goods Emporium is a premier online home goods store that offers top-of-the-line products at competitive prices and provides reliable product information. We take pride in our fast turnaround time for orders and quick response times to customer inquiries. Come experience the Home Goods difference!
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