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How To Get To Heaven Part 2
Sunday, 11 November 2001
The original post was too long (there were complaints!), so I have chopped it up and used colours and pictures to help make it more interesting. This is the second part of the original giant post, I hope this is easier and better. I also promise to do at least one more essay to finish off the topic more completely.
SO I finally have a better starting-point: how do I live my live in such a way that I can get into heaven?
Well, rather than get all tangled up in theology and denominational differences, it would seem logical to look at the boundary. The point between life and death; the end of life and the entry into the afterlife — what conditions need to be met at this point to pass judgement for heaven?
When the Christian God looks over a life, it must be something like a book-keeper looking over the accounts; there must be some form of scoring system, plusses and minuses, good points and deductions, and a balance showing a credit (for heaven) or a debt (for hell). I found out that there is such a system, the good points are called virtues and the bad points are called sins. However, the way it seems to work disregards virtues in favour of a sin and penance system — a system of totting up sins and doing things to increase and decrease the sin total. Within that concept sins have varying values; sin is a moral concept where there are degrees of badness, or gravity of sins. However,
"If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will give him life. This is only for those whose sin is not deadly. There is such a thing as deadly sin, about which I do not say that you should pray. All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that is not deadly." (1 John 5:16-17).
So there seems to be two main kinds of sin: deadly and not-deadly. But this has nothing to do with the Seven Deadly Sins! (Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, and Sloth), the two types of sin are also known as (1) venial and (2) mortal.
Mortal sins simply cannot be done "accidentally;" A person who commits a mortal sin is one who knows that their sin is wrong, but still deliberately commits the sin anyway. This means that mortal sins are "premeditated" by the sinner and thus are truly a rejection of God's law and love.
This sounds like bad news! What can be done if you have deliberately sinned?
Well, it appears to be the case that if you sin, then you lose your state of grace, and to get it back, you need the sacrament of penance.
It seems that you confess your sin to the priest, and he estimates your punishment options. By confessing, you show understanding and repentance. The punishment is usually as close to undoing the sin as possible, so if you stole something, you would have to replace it — but you would have to admit to it, humiliate yourself, and give up a prized possession as well. If the sin is undo-able, then you have to make amends or reparations as best you can — at worst you will have to donate work or money to the poor to clear the sin debt. It is supposed to be painful and act as a deterrent to show that it is easier not to sin in the first place. The idea being that you pay a hefty price now, rather than spend eternity in hell.
- If you die without sin, you can get to heaven.
- If you die with sins you go to purgatory and prayers can help get you into heaven. In purgatory you are purged for heaven, and you get a temporal punishment. However, if you die with sins, but do not seem to deserve hell, you go to Limbo where fate can only be determined by God's Judgement.
- If you die with a lot of grave mortal sins, you just go straight to hell.
So basically, then, I can avoid hell by not sinning — but if I knowingly sin, then I know I will have to fix the problem before I die, and that it is probably a whole lot easier not to bother sinning in the first place. Unwitting sins will be sorted out by the nuns' and monks' prayers for the souls in purgatory. The real problem I guess is that it is difficult to know exactly when we are going to die, so it is best to deal with sin-fixin' ASAP.
We began this reasoning in part one by talking about predicting outcomes, and any discussion on outcomes has to talk about probability and statistics at some point. So let's look at the standard model, say for example, if 100 people sat an examination test, you would expect the results to plot a bell-curve pattern, where a few pass well, a few fail miserably, and most people occupy the grey area in the middle of just-failing.
Well, our life-results would be statistically expected to follow the same bell-curve pattern — where only a few souls will make it straight into heaven; it must be like passing the exam, and this would be the extremists like Jesus, the martyrs and saints.
Everyone else failed the exam to one degree or another. If the extremely evil souls go to hell, that leaves the rest to remain in the grey region — of limbo or purgatory to await the Day of Judgement. I am not sure how much of the central, average grey area is limbo and how much is purgatory, but I would guess that — in keeping with anything of value or
high worth, that achieving a pass into heaven would be for an elite, rather than the masses, so it would mostly be limbo.
- It would devalue heaven to suggest that most people can get in, it has to be difficult and it has to be for the chosen few, not the many.
As I have chosen not to live a life in a religious sect, and as long as I do not commit a serious and obvious sin, the overwhelming odds are that my soul will not go to heaven or hell, but will hang about in limbo or purgatory until Judgement Day.
If God's final judgement uses a 'relative' method, where each of our lives are compared with everyone else's, and the scores standardised and the pass-mark shifted for the bell curve — that way we can assume childhood thefts, gossip, masturbation and lies are common enough to be discounted or cancelled out, and that the sin scoring begins from some relative level or benchmark, as opposed to an absolute zero.
Would I be considered a good person compared with everyone else? Or to rephrase:
will I have done enough to go to purgatory instead of limbo?
Aha — but this (interestingly) would make the extremists my 'opponents in the game' because the number of sects and zealots affects the pass-mark, making it harder for me to get in. In other words, the more good people there are,
the more likely it will be that I will go to hell when compared with them!
But I cannot be BAD to them — even if that is good for my family and friends and not me. Mind you — it is not as much of a problem as the poor, statistically speaking.
The biggest statistical force on my getting into heaven on a relative judgement basis is world poverty.
The more poor people there are, the worse are my chances.
If we could end world poverty, then my odds improve and we then have a more level playing field.
I am afraid that the outlook is not very bright, and that it is extremely unlikely that I will get a pass into heaven unless I choose an extremely selfless saintly life after all. I suppose most of the people I know will be joining me in limbo before we descend to hell. It is our choice — in effect we have chosen to go to hell because we know what we have to do to improve our chances of going to heaven, but it is still a huge risk and a leap of faith — and despite all the BILLIONS of "Christians" out there, I don't see the difficult path being chosen by the majority. It follows that:
- The majority of Christians are going to hell.
In fact the majority of people (Christian or not) are going to hell. That's a statistical fact; heaven is exclusive. It is a vanity for me to suggest that I might get in ahead of others far more deserving.
But this begs the question: Why are Christians not choosing that difficult path? — is that why so many Christians are protesting against the Church and playing around with doctrine to suit themselves, and making up their own denominations and their own rules about getting into heaven — with ideas such as "You have to be Born Again" to be "Saved"? I have even heard "Christian" denominations state that it is possible for Homosexuals to get into heaven! In fact I have heard it said that ANIMALS are able to go to heaven these days! Perhaps the centuries-old core beliefs are so unpalatable that they cannot be accepted in a modern world of opulent luxury for many. Is that why so many others are leaving Christianity altogether?
I suppose it makes sense — they are not going to heaven, so they might as well make up their own rules and do their own thing, at the least it makes no difference to their outcome.
But there is one other option: what if God's final judgement was not 'relative', but 'absolute' — where each life is appraised individually, and scores good points against bad points. It is just possible that this 'absolute' method would provide sufficiently small numbers to keep heaven exclusive. Maybe then there would be a chance of good outweighing the bad, and I would get to go to heaven via purgatory.
It is difficult to know whether judgement will be relative or absolute. If it is absolute, then at least I can feel that I have control over my destiny to a better degree. The outcome would simply depend on how I live my live in terms of sin.
- The absolute method — or individual life tally is the only Christian hope
Perhaps this explains why so many Christians have not chosen the difficult poverty path or religious sects. I needed to check out this idea, and I found that it is indeed the case that the Catechism teachings consistently refer to the absolute tally method.
- OK so it is possible to get into heaven without having to become a poverty-stricken homeless pacifist (like Jesus), and
- it is possible to get into purgatory and then heaven on the basis of having lived a life that is absolutely judged by God to be more good than bad.
In part three I will investigate how to do that!
/end of part two
6 Responses to "How To Get To Heaven Part 2"
Saturday, 11 November 2006 at 3:36 am
[…] How To Get To Heaven – Part One […]
Wednesday, 15 November 2006 at 2:42 am
I respect the description of your journey here RT1! You have made me see the subject in a new light, and for that at least you are to be congratulated. I have been a pastor for many years here in the US and it is true to say that we can easily fall into routines and set paths of thinking about what has become all too familiar. I struggled to see the Holy Scriptures with your eyes, having to read over passages again and again to get in touch with your mindset, and I think it will be useful to me in my life's work, particularly in making connections with people who, like you, want to go to heaven but are also wary of religious fundamentalism. I believe you seek the Lord and I pray that your search will bring you to closer to a 121 relationship with Christ.
Thursday, 8 February 2007 at 11:46 pm
The Ancient Greek word "Phthonos" means "envy", but by "nemesis" the Greeks meant "indignation at undeserved success".
Somehow these two Greek words merged into a single Latin word used by the Romans: "Invidia" and is often (incorrectly translated as "envy").
"Invidia" is one of the SEVEN DEADLY SINS, so the distinction can be important.
Another of the SEVEN DEADLY SINS is "Luxuria" which is similarly mistranslated or mis-taken as "Lust" when it means "extravagance".
The Christians have managed to introduce a sex term into the list of sins!
As LUXURIA, the first of the deadly sins, refers to wastefulness, luxury, extravagance and so forth, I thought you might be interested as it does connect the seven deadly sins with the topic of this blog post — poverty, living a mendicant life, living like Jesus and so on.
An interesting point or distinction may be made then: instead of living a life of extreme poverty, you can possess things and enjoy life and material goods as long as you are not wasteful and extravagant (the other extreme). In other words to take what you need, and not more.
This will keep you from committing a deadly sin.
Additionally, remember never to be annoyed at someone's unmerited success (which is not quite the same as jealousy or envy, is it?).
Thursday, 29 March 2007 at 11:59 pm
I like this argument, but you are too kind to the Christians. What struck me from your account was that it is NOT a system of totting up good and totting up bad for a person's life, then sending the person to heaven or hell for eternity based on being more one than the other.
I was struck by the fact that the system is about totting up the bad and totting up the repair work, the penances and apologies. Good works do not seem as important.
And I am just amazed at how blind I have been to this, and how Christianity is no longer for me. How can I follow such a religion? It is so utterly selfish and self-centred, self satisfied and self-obsessed.
Thank you for opening my eyes to the ridiculousness of it all.
Monday, 29 September 2008 at 12:32 pm
Years ago, CBS had a popular TV series called GILLIGAN'S ISLAND which is a direct representation of hell; nobody on the island wants to be there, yet none are able to leave.
Each one of the characters represents one of the 7 deadly sins:
– Ginger represents LUST – she wears skimpy outfits, is obsessed with her looks, and is a borderline nymphomaniac.
– Mary Ann represents ENVY – she is jealous of Ginger's beauty.
– The Professor represents PRIDE – he is an annoying know-it-all.
– Mr. Howell represents GREED – no explanation needed.
– Mrs. Howell represents SLOTH – she has never lifted a finger to help on and of their escape plans.
– The Skipper represents two sins: GLUTTONY – again, no explanation needed and ANGER – he violently hits Gilligan on each show.
– This leaves Gilligan. Gilligan is the person who put them there. He prevents them from leaving by foiling all of their escape plots. Also, it is HIS island. Therefore, Gilligan is SATAN.
Crazy? He does wear red in every episode…


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Eyes of a Generation)
Although I'm a big fan of the highly inventive bubble-gum-and-baling-wire rigs featured at Shitty Rigs, it's always interesting to see how the pros get it done when money, expertise, and equipment are not limiting factors. This camera rig (from a pilot called Game of Silence) is impressive, with a driver box up top -- where the real driver will control the car -- and at least four cameras rigged to get simultaneous coverage of the actors in the front and back seats. After the passenger side cameras get what the director needs, they'll probably be flipped to the driver's side for the reverse angles.
That's how the magic is made in the dream factories of Hollywood.*
Whether any of this will make for a good show remains to be seen - NBC hasn't exactly distinguished itself by airing good programs the past few years, but neither have the other broadcast networks.
As usual, the really good stuff is still on cable.
Next up, the latest column from Tim Goodman, head TV critic for the Hollywood Reporter, dissecting the shit-storm Trevor Noah (due to replace Jon Stewart on "The Daily Show") recently kicked up. Comedy, it seems, is an edgy art that does not always translate well to twitter.
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Indeed. Goodman's columns are always worth reading.
*************************************Last, another gem from Gavin Polone, veteran producer, television director and former talent agent -- in other words, a guy who has been around the Hollywood block enough times to know what he's talking about. In his most recent guest column for THR, he discusses the harsh economic realities of "packaging fees."
No, I'd never heard of a "packaging fee" either, but according to Polone, it's "a large upfront payment and an even larger back-end participation that talent agencies receive for doing exactly what they were supposed to do for the regular 10 percent commission they charge their clients."
Yeah, I know -- this stuff is so far above-the-line that it doesn't have much to do with the realities we face on a daily basis below-the-line, but I found it interesting to learn just what greedy scumbags agents and their agencies can really be. When one of their own spills the beans, it's usually worth listening.
And from what Polone says, agents are almost as bad as the crooks on Wall Street.
That is all...
* I use"Hollywood" as a generic term here, meaning wherever television and movies are made...


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Monday, January 21
Baby formula has fleetingly taken the spotlight off drug smuggling with the charging of five people over a massive scam involving Australian tins of special powdered milk being sold on the black market overseas.
A top level investigation was launched into the baby formula syndicate in February last year after a string of thefts.
Australian Border Force (ABF) officers arrested a 31-year-old Carlingford man after he arrived at Sydney International Airport on a flight from China at about 10:30am on Saturday.
Officers searched the man's luggage before arresting and charging him with two offences, including recklessly dealing with the proceeds of crime.
He was granted conditional bail at Parramatta Bail Court yesterday and is due to appear in court again on January 30.
NSW Police also searched two homes in Carlingford in August last year and seized 4,000 tins of baby formula, vitamins, manuka honey and more than $250,000 of cash.
A 48-year old woman and a 35-year-old man were arrested in connection with the search.
Police also arrested a 53-year-old man and a 29-year-old woman in the past two months, and charged them with dealing with the proceeds of crime.
Detective Superintendent Daniel Doherty said investigations would continue.
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"Police will continue to pursue those who seek to make a quick buck at the disadvantage of others and will always strive to stamp out unscrupulous activity."
It's a debate cat owners around Australia are constantly having. Whether or not to make sure their pets are locked in at night to preserve the native wildlife.
Well, now there is another argument gaining momentum to stop cats stalking and killing birds and the the likes of small lizards as they prowl the dark hours.
They are currently in just as much danger of being eaten…..by snakes.
Snake catchers are being reported as passing on horror stories of pythons killing free-roaming family cats.
In south-east Queensland in the last couple of weeks, reports the ABC, at least two cats have been taken by snakes.
Professional reptile wranglers are imploring all owners to keep their cats indoors, or within the confines of a cat aviary.
Cat containment is encouraged by the RSPCA to not only reduce cats hunting local fauna but also protect them from disease and injury.
Luke Huntley from Snake Catcher Noosa reported on his Facebook page he had been been called out to a family home last week to remove a carpet python that had killed the family cat.
"It was pretty quick, the cat tried to put up a fight but it was wrapped around and died quite quickly and ended up inside the snake," he said.
Mr Huntley's shared Facebook page, sparking a heated debate over responsible pet ownership.
"[Growing up] I loved my pet cat, she was amazing, and she was an indoor cat only and I'd hate for something like that to happen to her," he said.
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It's not just for the safety of our furry friends; keeping cats indoors helps protect local native wildlife.
A 2017 study found cats kill more than 1 million birds every day across Australia.
"We have a duty of care to our country and wildlife, people come from all over the world to see Australia, and our wildlife is shown all over the world as so special and precious, and it's just so vital that we take responsibility for our pets, especially cats, to protect that," Mr Huntley said.
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"That's why we tell people to keep cats inside," he said.
"Obviously they cause a lot of damage to our wildlife, but if you love your pet you don't want to lose it."
Mr Lalor said he gets similar calls a couple of times a year.
"I know a lot of other catchers that are getting a couple every year, so you add them all up and that's quite a few cats going missing," he said.
"And those are the ones we know about."
Codey Herman, the aspiring rapper charged with murdering Aiia Maasarwe's after she got off a tram in Melbourne at the weekend was caught because of the sharp eye of a senior constable.
The case could have been solved even quicker with DNA testing.
But a stall in legislation in Victoria, which is behind other states in enacting the law, meant police did not have DNA from Herrmann's previous arrests.
If they had, officers could have potentially found an immediate match with DNA collected from clothing at the crime scene.
Instead, a local leading senior constable recognised the grey T-shirt and a hat with 1986 on it and remembered Mr Herrmann had been wearing the same items four days earlier when he was stopped.
Mr Herrmann had been on bail for minor offences and police were able to track him down within an hour, charging him with the international student's alleged rape and murder.
While officers have reportedly praised the quick-thinking action, according to The Age newspaper , Victoria's outdated laws where police would no longer need court approval to get DNA samples were supposed to go through parliament last year.
Police released these images to try and find the alleged offender.Source:Supplied
An officer recognised the distinctive clothing, leading to the arrest.Source:Supplied
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This content has been marked as final. Show 4 replies
Re: Started up a Pet Sitting Businesslynny05 Oct 15, 2009 4:30 PM (in response to bootsbuddies)Congratulations on starting your own business! I also work from home and am glad I can do something that helps others. What exactly would you like help with? I am in the advertising aspect - creating websites for smaller businesses and also advertising them online. If you are interested in getting the word out about your business a website is a great thing! Every business - even small home businesses - can benefit from a website. Ours are kept low-cost especially for smaller businesses so feel free to check us out! We also offer low cost advertising - online in the classifieds - and businesses seem to like how it works as well as the affordable pricing. Hope this helps a little!
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Re: Started up a Pet Sitting BusinessBizOptimizer Oct 15, 2009 5:31 PM (in response to bootsbuddies)Not sure what you need, but know there are some low cost franchises/pet sitting networks you can join to get business assistance and marketing (they already have the web pages and marketing (800 numbers and websites) that you can benefit from. Depends on what you are looking for, but your question is broad brush so I tried to give you a broad brush answer. Good luck!
Re: Started up a Pet Sitting BusinessTheSoloGuide Oct 16, 2009 12:54 PM (in response to bootsbuddies)
The first two steps that I recommend that you take is to define your unique value proposition (what market are you serving and what do you offer that uniquely resolves the problems for your market and creates benefits for them, as well).
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I include other information as to research that you need to consider and actionable steps to getting your business off the ground. But, to get better help, please come back and define specifically what help you require. There are plenty of talented people here willing to help.
All the Best,
Doug Dolan
Re: Started up a Pet Sitting BusinessMSIMarketing Nov 24, 2009 1:15 PM (in response to bootsbuddies)We have a great fit! First of all I have a client that has a petsitting software called Bluewave. It helps with all your accounting and repetitive billing. second of all You can place a craigslist ad offering $100 in groceries when someone signs up for your service. Email me and I will send you a PowerPoint. firstname.lastname@example.com
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Reply to original post
I just started up a homebased Pet Sitting Business and need a little guidance. I am in Augusta, GA and getting started is a little taxing. Thanks for any help!


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Polished cement floors throughout and carpet upstairs, ducted air-conditioning and Dyna lighting system. Single car garage with storage and internal access.


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I spotted this tiny Veho Muvi helmet camera at the CycleShow a while back and promptly got one ordered for an inspection. Steve at veho-uk.com had one sent out this morning.
The size of it is remarkable, how do they make it so small? It is about the size of an AA battery but still feels quite substantial. The case is an alloy metal job and measures 55mm tall, 20mm wide and 18mm at it's deepest part and weighed in at just 40g on our office scales.
It features a 2 Mega Pixel lens and records in VGA 640*480 format and comes with a 2GB Micro SD Card, which they say is enough for 2 hours of footage. The lens only has a 72 degree angle, but that seemed okay in my quick test.
The power comes from a built in rechargable battery with a life of 2-3 hours that you charge a USB lead.
RRP is £79.99 but I've seen them on the web for about £60.
Checkout veho-uk.com
I don't want to start talking about Christmas yet but this could make a nice present.
Is this the Worlds smallest helmet cam? The beauty of this to me is that I can gaffer tape it to just about anywhere on the bike, it's got a lovely flat/ rectangular lower surface that is perfect for that. But it does come with a few attachments that also do the job.
Check out the quick video tester below.
On the side, a micro sd slot and a Vox on/off switch. This is usefull for all you spies out there, simply leave the cam in a room and when it detects noise over 65DB it starts recording and stops when there is a lull.
Power on/off on the side and a simply button on the top to toggle record on and off, an LED lets you know what's going on.
I gave it a quick test this morning and the ease of use and quality looks good so far.
More Mountain Biking >>


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The Fiat 131 built by Rally Sport Developments is expected to make an eagerly-anticipated debut on round four of the West Wales Rally Spares R.A.C. Rally Championship, the Severn Valley Stages (31 May).
An entry has been placed for former British Historic Rally champion Julian Reynolds and co-driver Ian Oakey and, subject to a shakedown test in the run up to the rally, the car will start the rally from Builth Wells on Saturday morning. Read More »


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01 May Drew Patrick Spa Joins the Mondays at Racine Charter Salon Family
Bay Shore, NY- May 1, 2017 – Drew Patrick Spa announced the grand opening of their new yoga cancer care program, Mondays at Drew Patrick. In partnership with the nonprofit, Mondays at Racine, once a week, the spa opens their doors to provide complimentary yoga for those undergoing treatment for cancer.
"Drew Patrick is celebrating our tenth anniversary this summer. Our surrounding community, and all of Long Island, has been very supportive of our Wellness Center as we continue to grow and expand," said Drew Allt, Founder & President of Drew Patrick. "The Mondays at Racine program is an important part of our community and we are proud to be a part of their growing family. The services provided by Racine benefit so many people whose lives have been disrupted by cancer. We are thankful to be able to share in their vision and provide yoga to people on their healing journey."
To commemorate the launch, Drew Patrick Spa hosted a ribbon-cutting event at their Bay Shore, NY location, followed by a special screening of the Academy Award nominated HBO short documentary, Mondays at Racine. The founders of Mondays at Racine Cancer Care Foundation, Cynthia Sansone and Rachel DeMolfetto, were on-hand for a short Q&A after the screening.
As the newest charter of the Mondays at Racine Cancer Care Foundation, Drew Patrick has committed to carrying out the Mondays mission of helping people living with cancer face the challenge of healing… beautifully.
"We're excited for Drew Patrick to join the Mondays at Racine family," said Karla Waldron, Executive Director for Mondays at Racine Cancer Care Foundation. "They are an excellent addition to our growing Charter Salon program on Long Island, giving those dealing with cancer another place to go for wellness support and comfort."


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The Top 6 Things to Do to Stay Healthy
Simple Things to Keep in Mind for Optimum Health
It is so easy to stay healthy, but most of us either are not aware of what the problem is with doing what everyone else does, or couldn't be bothered with doing them. Our modern Western Lifestyle entails eating stuff that is really poisonous for our bodies and living in environments that add toxins to our system that we're not even aware of.
As a Natural Health Practitioner I see the results of this type of thinking and doing every day. People only become aware that things are not so good when their bodies put them down with heart problems, overweight issues, joints that pack up and parts of their bodies that suddenly don't want to function anymore or that break down or get hurt when put under pressure.
So this is just a short list to remind you that you CAN become and stay healthy, you just have to commit to doing so...and it is YOUR responsibility to look after yourself. No-one else is going to do it for you.
Here we go!
Photo Credit: Enhanced from Flickr: Kim Shuster Creative Commons
You've got one body!
Looking after it should be your first priority
#1 Keep it In Line
Posture, Posture, Posture!
Your whole spine rests on your pelvis. If your hips are scew, the curve of the whole spine goes out of whack.
This causes the cushions between vertabrae to be compressed and they then place pressure on the nerves coming out of the spine.
Those nerves nourish organs, limbs and joints. Now they're not getting it all and will soon start to lose function or won't be able to regenerate and function properly.
Make sure that you sit and stand properly so that your structure stays inline.
If you've had a bump, fall or accident, get your alignment checked and get a massage to make sure your muscles don't go into spasm and stay like that to protect these nerves.Image: Marlene McPherson ©
#2 Stay Alkaline
Cut out Acid Forming Foods
Our bodies need an alkaline medium to function properly. If you eat too many foods that cause an acidic environment, it can cause problems that can range from candida, arthritis, gout, to the growth of parasites and worms in your gut. Viruses flourish in an acidic environment so it is vital for the proper functioning of your immune system that your system stays alkaline.
You can find a chart of alkaline forming foods on this great article of some alkalising foods.
#3 Ensure you've got Probiotics
To Keep your Gut going and Boost your Immune System
Probiotics are bacteria that are present in soil. They are the base of the functioning of our gut and immune system. They're the reason toddlers eat dirt! Their bodies need these bacteria to build up the young child's immune system.
By being overprotective and "too clean" we can prevent this natural process from happening. Make sure it's "clean" dirt and you should be fine, mommies!
The other reason most of us are battling with immune system problems as well as digestive system problems is the fact that modern Western farming practice have annihilated these organisms from the soil our vegetables and fruit are planted in by spraying herbacides and pesticides. So we don't get it in through our food anymore in the quantities we need. This is one of the main reasons why organic food is better. The soil these farmers use tend to be more healthy and in balance!
Planting and eating your own veges is still the best, but if you can't do this, try and get local organic or naturally produced food.
Otherwise you will have to supplement with a good live probiflora supplement, or eat fermented foods and yoghurt on a regular basis.
Read more on probiflora on my blog here.
#4 Eliminate Toxins
And stop putting more in!
Your body is constantly ridding itself of the remnants of all the processes that's on the go in it. This is a normal part of it's running.
If, however, you are putting extra toxins in, the chances are good that somewhere along the line the organs that take care of this will become overloaded.
Some of these toxins we have no control over where they come from. Those in our air, water and environment. You can take steps to remove them, though, by filtering your air, water and making changes in your working and living environment to reduce them. Some you are putting in without realising by eating foods that contain them. Additives, colourants, MSG and other flavourants.
Some you are putting on your skin everyday where they get absorbed. Skin care products, cosmetics and deodorants all contain things that, in excess, can clog your pores or start accumulating in your glands and tissues.
Natural Ingredient Lipsticks - As an alternative
Rather use natural ingredient lipsticks (like these on the right) without all the toxins in!
As an aside...I found out due to a comment from my writing mentor on Squidoo's Squid University that Amazon doesn't just sell books when she mentioned that she was looking for an alternative to lipstick..where was the link? Really...now I know Amazon sells everyting from a pin to an elephant...seriously awesome!
Smoking and Alcolhol overloads your system
If you smoke of course, you're adding thousands of toxins into your system, and the clogging of your elimination organs is a definite! Your liver filters your blood and alcohol adds it's load, as do medication.
There's lots you can do to help your system cope and the detoxification of your liver should be done at least every 6 months, more if you're adding an extra load. The herb that does a stunning job is Milk Thistle as it actually rebuilds the liver cells, so get some caps or a tincture and use it for at least a month. Take regular detox baths whilst you are taking Milk Thistle as this will help to eliminate the toxins released by it through your skin, your biggest elimination organ.
Different forms of Milk Thistle - to look after your Liver
In Depth Article on Toxic Overload - and How to Get Rid of Excesses
- Basic Healthy Balance Blog Article
This is an in depth exploration of how your body handles toxins and how you can help it to cope or prevent it from becoming clogged.
#5 Drink enough Water - You have to Keep your Balance
Everyone reckons 6-8 glasses of water a day is it. This is total nonsense and is based on one non-confirmed study.
Yes, we all need to stay hydrated and we need to drink water to flush out toxins, but you need to listen to your own body, because it will tell you how much you need.
Generally 1 to 2 glasses of water a day should be enough, but it needs to be pure water, preferably natural spring water. Natural water is structured to enhance your body. If you cannot do this, then filtered tap water is preferred over bottled water, a huge industry that is placing our water resources under pressure. The plastic bottles are another concern, especially if left in a car standing in the sun. Most plastic bottles contain contaminants such as BPA, an endocrine disruptor, that leaches out into the water.
Other than feeling thirsty, your body's natural mechanism for telling you you need more water, you can judge by the colour of your urine too. It is generally a very light yellow. If it smells, burns or is a darker yellow...you need to drink more water!
And if you're thirsty, it doesn't mean it will help to drink any other drink to hydrate, you need WATER. Pure, clear, natural water.
If you Exercise or Sweat a lot
You obviously have to Take in More Water
to Replace what you've Lost
Is drinking water an issue for you?
Do you drink enough water?
Restore your Water Balance - with Natural Remedies
I love Dr. Scheussler's Mineral Tissue Salts. They are amazing for restoring your balance if you happen to build up some mineral deficiency. They absorb in the mouth and work almost immediately.
If you've sweated too much and lost a lot of minerals, or you've flushed out your minerals by drinking too much water, the Mineral Salt that will restore your Water Balance is NatMur, No. 9 of this range of 12 mineral combination salts. It helps for headaches, migraines, dry skin, dry eyes and cramps caused by a sodium imbalance in the body.
The Best book on Water ever! - How to Eat your Water
Written by a Skin Specialist who decided to do research on how the skin stays healthy. He recommends fixing any skin problem from the inside...by what you eat, obviously! And the best way to keep it hydrated...eat your water! Pretty cool!
#6 Nourish Yourself with Whole Foods
Your Food is the Building Blocks of your Body
What you put in is what you get out! As simple as that. Anything that is processed has been stripped of all the good stuff or the natural balance of the food has disturbed.
If most of your diet consists of processed or tinned foods, full of added colorants, flavour enhancers and sugar, salt or even sweeteners, your body will be bombarded with stuff it cannot cope with. Sugars, additives and stuff it doesn't know how to recognize.
A healthy diet consists of natural whole foods straight from the plant or animal that it comes from. Make sure if you still eat meat that the animals that it came from were fed foods from nature and that they could roam freely. Farmed beef and chicken means that the poor animal was forcefed and got no exercise so you're just eating its fatty flesh!
Organic means that the plants were grown in a balanced, natural environment and will contain nutrients that your body will actually be able to absorb.
Photo Credit: Flickr - Ali Karimian cc
Would love to hear what you do to stay healthy or whether this list has helped to make you aware of what might still you need to do to either become healthy or stay healthy!
(Of course you have to exercise as well, but I did say this is a short list...and I wanted to focus on the top priority, maybe not so obvious things.)
Are You Healthy? - Leave me a Comment
Your list provides much to think about!
#1 is my favorite - keeping a straight posture! Thanks for the tips. Fantastic lens! Sundae ;-)
I'm trying hard to hydrate more and eat more fruits & veggies. I do exercise daily.
I am quite healthy, but can add more vitality :-)
I'm especially interested in maintaining and promoting health through whole foods and proper hydration, so your page hit several good points for me. I especially appreciate your mentioning the connection between acid/alkaline. I'm following the link to read the page you provided on that. Thank you.
very thorough lens. i didn't know that about acids.
What an excellent lens! Lots of good, basic, and easily understood information.
Sound advice. We all know what we need to do, but most of us don't do it! I don't drink much water as in just water, but I drink plenty of squash and redbush tea made with filtered water. Does that count?
Great tips. I've just started taking probiotics again after a long time off them.
I always forget about water, I know I should drink more... thank you!
Great list, its really good that you mentioned about lipstick. And fermented foods are considered great for health!
This is a great lens with lot's of good points in being healthy. The most interesting point was about lipstick, I haven't come across that before, that new news to me, just as well with my aging body, I only use it once a week and then not much. I consider my body pretty heathy, do drink water but could drink a little more, thanks for the reminder, will go and have a glass now.
The lipstick information is certainly interesting. Yikes! Overall, I think my family and I do pretty well at staying healthy.


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Movies: August 16/23, 2013
Capsule reviews of ''2 Guns,'' ''Ain't Them Bodies Saints,'' and more
2 Guns R, 1 HR., 40 Mins.
Thanks to their combustible, hair-trigger chemistry, Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg elevate a macho B-movie buddy-cop premise into a twisty surprise treat. B+ —Chris Nashawaty
Ain't Them Bodies Saints R, 1 HR., 45 Mins.
One of those inertly "visual" and high-toned indie films that's really a series of ersatz-Malick mannerisms. It's set in Texas in the '70s, where Bob (Casey Affleck), an outlaw, is sent to prison and then escapes, while his wife (Rooney Mara) and young daughter wait — and wait — to be reunited with him. The director, David Lowery, seems to have contrived the entire story just so he could shoot his actors against gorgeously desolate sunset fields. (Also available on VOD) C- —Owen Gleiberman
Blackfish PG-13, 1 HR., 23 Mins.
An eye-opening exposé about orcas in captivity. A- —Chris Nashawaty
Blue Jasmine PG-13, 1 HR., 38 Mins.
Woody Allen's powerful and enthralling new film is about a woman (Cate Blanchett) on the verge of a nervous breakdown. A —Owen Gleiberman
The Canyons NOT RATED, 1 HR., 39 Mins.
Lindsay Lohan reminds you why she's still a star in this stylishly scandalous thriller soap opera from director Paul Schrader. (Also available on VOD) B+ —Owen Gleiberman
The Conjuring R, 1 HR., 51 Mins.
A masterfully rigged haunted-house chiller. A- —Chris Nashawaty
Fruitvale Station R, 1 HR., 25 Mins.
Michael B. Jordan is mesmerizing as Oscar Grant III, the young black man who was killed by a Bay Area transit cop. A —Owen Gleiberman
Iceberg Slim: Portrait of a Pimp NOT RATED, 1 HR., 29 Mins.
Iceberg Slim created an up-from-underground literary revolution with the 1969 publication of Pimp: The Story of My Life. This richly crafted documentary taps deep into the luridly fascinating subject. Slim (né Robert Beck) captured the human horror of street life but also acknowledged that pimping was, for him, a kind of addiction. The movie fuses testimonials from Slim into a complex confessional portrait. (Also available on VOD) A- —Owen Gleiberman
I Give It a Year R, 1 HR., 37 Mins.
Two comely Brits (Rose Byrne and Rafe Spall) fight temptation (in the forms of Simon Baker and Anna Faris) to hit the 12-month mark in their marriage. Despite their cute quirks and good looks, the newlyweds just don't click — and the same could be said of their movie, which pads a few genuinely funny gags with too many rom-com clichés. (Also available on VOD) B- —Adam Markovitz
In a World R, 1 HR., 33 Mins.
In her directorial debut, Lake Bell (No Strings Attached) stars as a Hollywood vocal coach who vies with her booming-baritoned father (Fred Melamed) and an arrogant industry It Boy (Ken Marino) to become the next alpha dog in movie-trailer voice-overs. Bell's performance and the small-fish-in-a-very-small-pond satire resonate, but there's only a two-minute preview's worth of laughs in this likable but forgettable comedy. B —Stephan Lee
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters PG, 1 HR., 46 Mins.
In the second chapter of this Harry Potter riff (replace teen wizards with teen demigods and you get the idea), Percy (Logan Lerman) has to find the mythical golden fleece to keep the evil Titan Kronos at bay. There are plenty of artfully designed CG monsters to make kids go yikes! (a flame-spitting bull), aww! (a cuddly water-horse), and ick! (the innards of a sea beast). But the formulaic story won't get more than a meh from anyone. B- —Adam Markovitz
Prince Avalanche R, 1 HR., 34 Mins.
After detouring into raucous studio comedies (Pineapple Express), writer-director David Gordon Green returns to his impressionistic arthouse roots with a slight character study about two bickering road workers (Paul Rudd and Emile Hirsch) painting traffic lines on a remote Texas highway devastated by a recent brush fire. The cinematography is hauntingly poetic, but the story is surprisingly undercooked. Green's road doesn't really lead anywhere. (Also available on VOD and iTunes) B- —Chris Nashawaty
The Smurfs 2PG, 1 HR., 41 Mins.
Noisy and abrasive kiddie entertainment. C —Owen Gleiberman
The Spectacular Now R, 1 HR., 34 Min.
Sutter (Miles Teller) seems to have it all, but he's a teenage alcoholic. A rare soulful and authentic teen movie. A- —Owen Gleiberman
The To Do List R, 1 HR., 44 Mins.
A prim valedictorian (Aubrey Plaza) makes a to-do list of graphic sexual activities. B+ —Owen Gleiberman
The Wolverine PG-13, 2 HRS., 16 Mins.
A step up from X-Men Origins: Wolverine, but the film's existential heaviosity saps it of fun. B- —Chris Nashawaty


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The 100 best songs of 2019 (so far)
Don't worry, I didn't write about all of them. Just the top 25.
Over the past six months, I've been adding the best new songs I've come across to a playlist every week and posting some notes about them here. Now, just as we've squeaked past the mid-year, I've edited that collection a bit, cutting some tracks that didn't quite hold up and limiting each artist to a single entry. Here are the 100 songs that survived.
I've offered some explanation for my top picks, but if reading's not your thing feel free to skip down to the playlist. The listening is the important part, after all, and there's 348 minutes of music here. I'm sure you'll like at least some of it. Pretty sure, anyway.
25. Lizzo – "Juice"
How big is Lizzo now? I heard this in a Bounty commercial on Spotify yesterday. "Spill your juice? That's why there's Bounty." Get that paper (towel), grrrl.
24. Khalid feat. Megan Thee Stallion & Yo Gotti – "Talk (Remix)"
"Talk" was a grower, as many great pop hits are, and this remix, with Megan and Gotti adding a little vocal variation, might win over skeptics who find Khalid's somnolescent purr less seductive and personable than fans like me.
23. Hand Habits – "Can't Calm Down"
22. Ezra Furman – "Calm Down AKA I Should Not Be Alone"
One more jarring aspect of Ms. Swift's smugly Pride-jacking lecture of a single "You Need to Calm Down" is that two indie talents had already established that 2019 was very much the year of not calming down. As Hand Habits, Meg Duffy's perturbed murmur floats above a barebones beat as persistent as the drip of a bathroom faucet invading an insomniac's head space, the sound of that willed stasis you impose on your dangerously percolating nerves when you need to appear presentable. (The splintered panic attack of a guitar solo is how Duffy really feels.) And nobody frazzles classic rock purpose with anxious punk frenzy quite like Ezra Furman, who firehoses lyrics at you like he's desperately trying to bail out his flooded brain.
21. Palehound – "Killer"
Nothing says murder like a well-honed guitar arpeggio, and as each string shimmers individually and ominously behind her Ellen Kempner pledges vengeance and love as an act of exorcism in a cool simmer of a monotone: "I wanna be the one who kills the man who hurt you, darling."
20. The Boyboy West Coast – "U Was at the Club (Bottoms Up)"
If the summer's other great meme-spawned track never became the hit it deserved to be, well, maybe it would have worn out its welcome. This playful pickup jam, which started as a teaser and went viral via TikTok, imagines the uncanny valley as a singles bar, its melodic flow unfolding with the cool inevitability of both casual conversation and autogenerated text.
19. Insignificant Other – "I'm So Glad I Feel This Way About You"
"We're not even friends anymore," Sim Morales declares on this envoi to a former intimate as this Birmingham-based band distill a one-sided devotion and affection they wouldn't jettison if they could into a rush of prickly guitar.
18. 21 Savage feat. J. Cole – "A Lot"
17. Mannequin Pussy – "Drunk II"
There's no shortage of songs about getting sloshed and crawling back into the wreckage of a defunct relationship, but with guitars stirring up a dramatic clamor too smart to topple into fancy grandeur, Marisa Dabice's confessional expertly distills what it feels like to be trapped between the familiar misery of bad decisions and the strain of living up to your friends' respect for you: "Everyone says to me/'Missy, you're so strong'/But maybe I don't want to be."
16. Tove Lo – "Glad He's Gone"
The sexed-up Swede takes her recently liberated pal out trawling for dick but leaves open the option that she'd rather hook up with her herself with lines like "you and me under each other… 's wing." And I like how the chorus is kinda an E-40 tribute.
15. Denzel Curry – "Ricky"
A screwed baritone booms a monstrous chorus while the Florida MC shares some home wisdom from his parents: "My daddy said, 'Treat young girls like your mother'/My mama said, 'Trust no hoe use a rubber.'"
14. The Scary Jokes feat. Louie Zong – "Community Gardens"
"Full disclosure: I am a monster/A creature of despair, not that that should be a cause for concern" is the opening line of the year, because really, 1) aren't we all and 2) should it ever be? Pert-voiced self-described "transmasc nonbinary clown from the garden state" Liz Lehman sells this chipper, rambling search for human connection amid ecological apocalypse as Zong's guitar fills in the gaps between keyboard parts.
13. DaBaby – "Suge"
For all his credible threats of bodily harm and clench-jawed diction, this North Carolinian is a surprisingly elastic rubber ball of a rapper. He doesn't flow so much as poing, bounding as irresistibly as the squelchy synth-bass popping beneath him.
12. Rosalia & J Balvin feat. El Guincho – "Con Altura"
Even the most hapless gringo monoglot can hear how enjoyably the stars' voices—flamenco-pop queen Rosalía's nimble and fluty, neo-reggaeton chart titan Balvin's gruff and bullish—ride that artfully overhauled boom-didi-boom-boom.
11. D'Angelo – "Unshaken"
And to think, there was a moment when this spare, existentialist psalm from the Red Dead Redemption 2 soundtrack seemed almost certainly the biggest musical moment that video game would spawn in 2019. (Then—spoiler—the fella in our next entry here was inspired by RDR2 to write the year's biggest song.) A showcase for far-from-prolific neo-soul auteur's grave lower register, the forlorn spiritual combines Old West frontier desolation with a touch of Leonard Cohen's sepulchral stoicism. "May I stand unshaken," D'Angelo prays. "Amid, amidst a crashing world." Yee haw?
10. Lil Nas X feat. Billy Ray Cyrus – "Old Town Road"
Maybe you think you're had enough. Maybe you really even have had enough. All's I know is that every time I think the novelty has finally worn off and I've ridden till I cain't no more, those introductory chords send a jolt to my brain and quicken my pulse the way great pop always does and I'm back on that damn horse. Sure, he's the first kid who truly gets how 21st century pop stardom works, and he exposed the noxious racial politics of genre classification without even trying. But all tweets and thinkpieces and trolling aside, the reason you'll be hearing this at every sporting event, wedding, and miscellaneous all-inclusive public occasion you attend in the indefinite future is simple: People love singing along with and dancing to this song, And let me conclude by once more putting in a good word for Cupcakke's transcendentally filthy "Old Town Hoe."
9. Lana Del Rey – "Hope Is a Dangerous Thing For a Woman Like Me to Have"
Sure Sylvia Plath and Slim Aarons are all-too-appropriate namechecks, but I bet you didn't have a haunted iPad with daddy issues on your LDR bingo card now, did you? Anyway, the obviousness is, as always, her point, expressing the horror of recognizing that you've succumbed, once more, to emotional caricature—just as the upwardly phantasmal waft of the melody expresses the pleasure of recognizing that... well, yes, you've succumbed, once more, to emotional caricature. She revels in the humor of her melancholia, which, as always, doesn't dispel it, and if the title is a setup the punchline isn't "But I have it"—it's that she never makes clear whether she's a danger to others or herself. Both, probably, right?
8. Chai – "I'm Me"
I'm too far removed from the culture this Japanese quartet is reportedly challenging (ironizing? deconstructing?) to (yet?) fully appreciate the subtleties of their acclaimed full-length, Punk. But when "I'm Me" injects its industrial-strength artificial sweeteners directly into my mainline, my brain's pleasure sensors topple into the red in a way even the most glossily superficial U.S. pop hasn't managed in years.
7. Four Tet – "Only Human"
Producer Kieran Hebden tinkers with a high-stepping U.K. garage beat so it doesn't just build with a momentum that's already made this track a dancefloor favorite, but also with a rhythmic logic shut-ins like me can hear and feel now that it's streamable at home. When the vocal elements of Nelly Furtado's 2006 song "Afraid" emerge, the chanted "You're so afraid of what people might say/But that's okay 'cause you're only human" sounds less like a pop star's inspirational patter and more like a throng of joyous townspeople flooding the street during a climactic production number. Need something to make you feel better? Hell, this might even make you feel good.
6. Tierra Whack – "Only Child"
The first and best of this North Philly MC's five excellent standalone singles this year is, at 3:59, more than one-quarter as long as the entirety of Whack World, her 2018 15-minute masterpiece of 15 one-minute tracks. But she's just as witty and wily at this sprawling, epic length, easing into the groove to set you up for the multiple climactic dunks ("Used to arch my back for you and now I'm your arch-nemesis," "I don't want to work it out, so cancel our gym membership") before she closes by choosing "money ova dick."
5. Noname – "Song 32"
This casually genius, free-associative Chicago rapper weaves contradictory yet complementary images of American affluence, violence, dominance, excellence, and race—"I'm Cardi's engagement ring," "I'm Obama pushing the button, in Libya, Pakistan," "I'm patriarchy on Sunday, don't push me, I'm Viacom"—into a seductive helix of metaphor that's more than the sum of paradoxes. Whatever the next level is after "next level," Noname's floating high above it.
4. Doja Cat feat. Rico Nasty – "Tia Tamera"
Just a coupla cool chicks rapping about boobs.
3. Billie Eilish – "Bad Guy"
2. PUP – "Free at Last"
"Just 'cause you're sad again/That doesn't make you special at all" is targeted harassment and the mods have been notified.
1. Ciara – "Thinkin Bout You"
The friskiest pop thirst-spree of 2019 peaked at an insultingly piddling #20 on the Billboard Hot 100, and we the masses will never be fully able to make amends. For four and a half minutes, Ciara allows us to experience all the giddy craving of possibly unrequited infatuation with none of the potentially heart-pulverizing real world consequences. If we can't make this our new national anthem (can't we?) the least we should do is award Ciara the very first Nobel Prize for Horniness.
And IC, as they say, YMI, here's my list of the year's best albums (so far).


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Morning Escape
Prices from £55.00 per person
Prices from £40.00 per person
There are times for work and times for rest, so when you want to stop the clocks head to the magnificent Regency Park Hotel. This sumptuous package brings the gift of indulgence just when you need it most.
From the first moment right through to the last, you'll be able to unwind in the most idyllic way possible. Say yes and let the experts do the rest.


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Posted by kylecarlson on 4/10/2018 3:10 PM
Awesome video featuring Odyssey pros Gary Young, Broc Raiford, Justin Spriet, and Travis Hughes traveling across the pond to shred London with UK-based shredders Tariq Haouche, Olly Rendle, and Brad McNicol. Gary's last trick is absolutely amazing!
Posted by kylecarlson on 1/2/2018 3:22 PM
This year, Source BMX gave riders the opportunity to qualify into the official Battle of Hastings contest. Watch the highlights and see what Isaac Lesser, Brad McNicol, Jack Poulton, and Stuart Chisolm did to win their spots!
Posted by kylecarlson on 7/28/2017 3:45 PM
Brad McNicol threw on a freecoaster and served up these moves at Transgression Park. Have a look...
Posted by KQP on 9/27/2016 2:05 PM
Posted by kylecarlson on 9/9/2016 10:35 AM
This particular weekend for Brad McNicol consisted of heavy sessions at multiple concrete parks across the Midlands in England. Press play and enjoy.
Posted by KQP on 7/2/2016 9:38 AM
Brad McNicol visited Malaga for a couple days to cruise its streets and skateparks. This is what he went back home with...
Posted by KQP on 4/22/2016 11:26 AM
Watch as Brad McNicol handles every ramp at Transgression Park in Edinburgh, Scotland. His bag of tricks run deep featuring big moves intertwined with a bit of technical freecoaster riding. Trust me, you'll enjoy this one.
Posted by KQP on 1/17/2016 10:08 PM
One of Scotland's finest exports recently journeyed across the pond to enjoy some San Diego sunshine. We caught up with Brad for a ridiculously productive day at the Markit ramps and OB skatepark. Check out the highlights! The last trick will definitely blow your mind...
Posted by kylecarlson on 8/10/2015 3:15 PM
Shortly after being added to the Odyssey UK team, Scottish badass Brad McNicol traveled south and spent one week killing it in England. Flawless style, dialed moves, and good times.
Posted by ChrisWilmshurst on 8/17/2014 11:17 AM
With so much amazing riding coming out of the UK, some badass clips end up homeless. This Mashup places bangers from Anthony Mcguirk, Jack Clark, Brad McNicol, and more together as one. Homeless no more. Watch and enjoy.
Posted by ChrisWilmshurst on 6/3/2014 9:37 AM


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I'm a blubbering idiot when it comes to boy parts questions. I agree. Let Daddy handle it!
My Balls
So, I'm pretty sure that this all started because of a man with one leg at Dick's Sporting Goods.
I was there with all three kids trying to find the cheapest soccer shoes in existence. I was bending down behind a low shelf, and my kids were on the other side talking to one of the employees.
I could only see him from the waist up, but my kids were talking to him, and he was running in place.
Jumping up and down.
And I stood up just in time to see my three kids knocking on his artificial leg.
I was absolutely mortified and told my kids that they could not knock on his leg.
But this man was amazing, and he had invited them to knock on his leg.
He said that he wears shorts to work every day so that kids can see his leg and ask him questions. He then showed my kids how he can jump just as high as they can and run just as fast as they can.
It was a really neat experience. And all the way home we talked about how some people only have one leg or one arm, but they can still do all the things that we can do.
And I'm guessing that this conversation must have been on my mind when the following conversation took place a few weeks later:
Miles: Mom, you're never going to believe this. I have two balls in my penis.
Me: Yes. You do.
Miles: What are they called?
Me: Balls.
Miles: Does everyone have balls?
Me: Yup – boys have balls.
Miles: Does everyone have two balls?
And this is where I just turned into a total idiot and for some reason felt it was another teachable moment to make sure that my son knew that whether he had one ball, two balls or no balls, he would be okay.
Me: Well, some boys have one ball and some boys have two balls. But either way, you're totally fine.
Seriously. It's not like you can just map out these conversations in advance. They happen at such random and surprising times that you think you'll know what you'll say (we'll be straightforward and honest and use real terms with our kids.) But then it's actually happening, and you're at the playground or you're at the zoo or you're just sitting around at the kitchen table, but you were so unprepared that you just start talking and saying things that you wish you could take back. But you can't. Because you have a 5-year-old and they remember. everything.
Miles: You mean Alice only has one ball?
Me: No – Alice doesn't have any balls. She's a girl.
Alice: YES I DO HAVE A BALL. And it's round and it's pink.
Alice: And daddy bought it for me at Target, and it's in the garage.
The children have now been told that all future body parts questions are to be directed towards Daddy.
24 Comments
The guy with the prosthetic sounds like a SUPER awesome dude. I try to be open like that with kids about my service dog, but sometimes parents get so embarrassed that their kid noticed something was different about me that they just drag their kids away. Also sometimes it's not a good day for me to explain that my dog is with me to prevent panic attacks, but all the same, good on you for going along with your kids for the teachable moment. 🙂
I don't know why, but that last line makes me think of a "submit your question using form A-2937 and use only a black, ball point pen" sort of set-up. Good luck to dad when Alice starts asking boob questions!
Kind of glad I don't have boys from conversations like this, but if it makes you feel better, I was recently changing in front of my girls, when Lily at only 2 1/2 years old starting screaming "boobies" and taking her two little fingers on each hand in a twisting motion. I had to leave the room, because I was laughing so hard. When I finally got myself together, I had to explain that this wasn't nice to say and so on. But god what kids will say and do even when they are oh so little!!
We saw a guy at the airport with two metal legs. He told my kid he was part robot. I will never forget his grace in dealing with curious preschoolers, and I was afraid my son would try to chop off his boring old regular legs so he could be awesome like Mr. Robot Legs.
We have a couple of pink balls at our house, in addition to the regular boy kind of balls.
Aaahhh, I love those moments! They are always so much fun! 😉
hahahaha I was similarly stunned when my 3 year old asked if "only grown up girls can lay babies or can big boys lay babies too"
Dying laughing. I have two girls. So far I've glossed over the "where do babies come from?" question with the answer of "From their mommies' bellies!" But I'm sure I will fumble the real answer BIG TIME when my 7yo reaaaalllly wants to know more. I'll send her daddy – great idea.
Hahaha! I'm dreading the times when these conversations will happen in my house!
I love the honesty of the man in Dick's sporting goods! And I too am a mom of a boy obsessed with his balls.
That is so great! My husband had a great conversation wtih my then 2 1/2 year old when she was on the toilet. She was "checking things out" and this is what I heard from the monitor:
Sweets: "Daddy, I have a boo-boo"
Daddy: "No, that's just part of your vagina"
Sweets: "No, I think it's a boo-boo and it needs a band-aid"
Daddy: "No, it's okay….you're fine"
Sweets: "But it looks like chicken"
Me: >tears streaming down face, doubled over laughing<
Oh dear! This took me right back to when your brother was little – I was putting him to bed when he looked at me and smiled and said "So – what's it like sleeping with a naked man?" I was so surprised and unprepared I just said "I don't know." and changed the subject. This from a professionally licensed counselor. Dad and I got a good laugh from this today.
There must be a book of the perfect answers to questions like these. I would seriously study and memorize that book. And then I would definitely mess it up by giggling and smiling and my face turning bright red.
I know the sex talk will come one day, and even some weird sex related questions, but I never thought about having "a ball talk." That's definitely a new one for me.
But hey! It makes for some great blog content.
Mine did this in a crowded dressing room, then proceded to BEG to touch them….loudly…? She's seen them before, I dont know why she chose that time to start ooohing and ahhhhing over them. LOL
I accidentally told my (almost) 7 year old daughter that babies come out a third hole that's between the pee and poop holes…she just stared at me blankly and I changed the subject. sigh, poor thing.
Oh dear God, I am dying!! Bless daddys heart….
LOL, I died laughing at the part where he asked what they are called and you just said balls. These comments are great too! I love this, and I love that man in Dicks! Cool! <3 Devan
I made the mistake of talking about "balls" with my son and now he is OBSESSED with talking about them!!! He is like a bad comedian referencing his balls to everything and thinking its hilarious….Damn balls
When my boys were little, I just remember trying to stay about 1 step ahead of them on questions like these, and really don't remember too many super uncomfortable questions…But, with my step-daughters, the 3 year old, in a public restroom while I was "going" took a quick peek and said "you look like mommy", for which I'm relieved…I guess? I could barely contain myself though, when the other day the 5 year old called me into the bathroom, then in a low voice, asked me about daddy's tail.
OMG, that's hilarious. Note to self: go to Target when looking for balls.
Too funny!! I have three girls so I have avoided much discussion about boy parts. I was not prepared to have the sex talk with my 10 year old, but when she told me she knew all about it because "her friends had told her" I knew I had to set the record straight. I hope I said the right things!
My son discovered his balls while in the bathroom, and came out to the living room naked and said, "Mom, there's Skittles in here!"
Your post is hilarious — and your readers' comments got me giggling all over again!
I am so thankful I have two boys LOL And the other day we were skyping with the grandparents and Noah said "look I have two balls!!" Luckily he was holding up two golf balls!
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KEY WEST Artist Hong Kong Willie,art from the Florida Keys
art inspired.by the movie Casablanca ,
Hong Kong Willie. "Hippie Artist of the 60's In The Now". Hippie Artist and Folk Artist, Living The Life of Using Objects For Many Uses. Look at The Travels of Life. Contact the Artists @ (813) 770-4794 HongKongWillie [!at] hotmail.com
Key West artist Hong Kong Willie on fox tv


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|End Gateway Portal
Generated Structure
The End (Main island)
First Appearance
Update 1.0
An End Gateway Portal is a Generated Structure which was added in Update 1.0.
A new End Gateway Portal generates near the edge of the main island every time the Ender Dragon is defeated. A maximum of twenty Portals can be generated for each world.
A "Return Portal" randomly generates where the Player spawns on the Outer Islands so he/she can return to the Main End Island.
The End Gateway Portal is composed of an End Gateway Block confined within a small formation made up of twelve Bedrock.
- The End Portal block at the center of the gateway cannot be obtained through inventory editing or commands.
- An Ender Pearl must be used to enter the End Gateway Portal, since Bedrock cannot be broken, and the entrance is only 1 block high.
- This, fortunately, is an easy task since Endermen spawn abundantly in the End.
- The Player can also glide into it by using an Elytra, since the Player height while doing so is only 1 block.
- The Player cannot pass through the Portal while riding an entity, such as a Pig or Minecart until they dismount.
- If the Player shoots the End Gateway Block with a Bow, a purple beacon beam will appear for a few seconds.
|Generated Structures
NaturalLava Pools • Tree (Fallen) • Caves • Ice Spikes • Giant Mushrooms • Moss Stone Boulders • Mineral Vein • Ravine • Fossil
Small StructuresWitch Hut • Desert Well • Igloo • Library • Dungeon
Large StructuresAbandoned Mineshaft (Mesa) • Woodland Mansion • Temples (Jungle | Desert) • Stronghold • Ocean Monument • Village • Shipwreck
Nether StructuresNether Fortress • Glowstone Cluster
End StructuresEnd City • Chorus Tree • End Portal • End Gateway Portal
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.


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7 reasons to use LinkedIn
Marketing with social media is standard in real estate.
Door knocking and mailers have gone the way of the dinosaurs.
Facebook and Twitter generate leads.
LinkedIn is sometimes underutilized, it shouldn't be.
LinkedIn offers tons of information for real estate agents and a new platform for publishing content.
- - Dinosaur Image --
LinkedIn can help you learn about the industry.
LinkedIn has a page dedicated to real estate agents:
- - Image of screen shot of the page --
Find the top companies, the most attended universities, the median salary, and more.
largest real estate markets and the top real estate agent profiles.
Look for jobs
LinkedIn's industry statistics.
A quality LinkedIn profile will help build credibility as it is standard for any real estate professional or anybody trying to get business or find a job for that matter.
Virtually unlimited space to describe yourself, your skills and your background.
upload your business logo and photo and customize a header image.
LinkedIn is great for networking, especially for real estate.
LinkedIn can help you connect with leads, not just other agents.
- - image of real estate agent header --
People in your community who consistently interact with those looking to buy or sell property ie lawyers, lenders, financial planners, tax service providers, or any organization that provides relocation assistance, Connect with them!
The next time they come across someone needing a real estate agent, your name is more likely to come up.
LinkedIn allows members to join or create groups.
LinkedIn has a vibrant community of niche groups, including real estate.
Search out groups that interest you beyond real estate.
This will give you new places for ideas.
Start your own group and be a leader. This can boost your professional credibility and make you an essential resource within the community.
--- Image of groups page ---
Many people approach LinkedIn like a resume, this is selling yourself short.
LinkedIn allows for regular updates with photo and video.
This is a great place for real estate agents to promote listings, blog posts, articles, and other relevant information.
If you think it can be helpful to your clients post it on your LinkedIn page.
By placing a LinkedIn share button on your website, you can encourage your leads to share listings with their friends.
--- Image of share button ---
Having LinkedIn also will help you receive recommendations and endorsements.
Whenever you have a positive interaction with clients, colleagues or anybody professionally related ask for a LinkedIn recommendation.
This is one of LinkedIns most powerful tools to get business.
This is one of the easiest lead generation tools for real estate agents.
-- Image of people networking ---
--- Image recommendations ---


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Valley Shakespeare Festival plans Halloween fund-raiser
Valley Shakespeare Festival will have an All Hallow's Eve fundraiser Thursday, Oct. 24 from 5-9 p.m. at Twisted Vine Restaurant, 285 Main St., Derby.
Costumes or creative attire is encouraged, with prizes to be awarded. People can dress as their favorite literary character.
A buffet dinner of chicken, pasta, salad, bread and dessert will be served from 5-7:30 (cash bar). There will be musical skits and dramatic readings from 7:30-8:30, followed by a costume contest at 8:30.
Admission is $15 per person. Go to vsfestival.org to purchase tickets.
The nonprofit Valley Shakespeare Festival presents outdoor performances of a Shakespeare play with a modern twist during the summer.


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Not the very greatest assist you'll see.
But a day after the miracle at Anfield, it earns itself a tie—for goal of the year.
It happened again??
Continue reading "#105 // Alli → Moura Tottenham 3 – 2 Ajax"
Not the very greatest assist you'll see.
But a day after the miracle at Anfield, it earns itself a tie—for goal of the year.
It happened again??
Continue reading "#105 // Alli → Moura Tottenham 3 – 2 Ajax"
Finally, the one we've been looking for.
The greatest assist of the year.
Continue reading "#104 // Alexander-Arnold → Origi Liverpool 4 – 3 Barcelona"
From one penalty box to the other—a 100-yard assist.
And a beautiful move, at the end of it, from Jamie Vardy.
What NBA Street Vol. 2 would call the "Back to Papa!"
Continue reading "#102 // Schmeichel → Vardy Leicester City 2 – 0 Arsenal"
César Azpilicueta is not feeling the love from the Chelsea fans.
But he did have this.
Continue reading "#101 // Azpilicueta → Higuaín Chelsea 2 – 1 Burnley"
The word "chesty" doesn't usually apply to a man.
But I propose a change to that.
In the name of this very chesty assist, indeed.
Continue reading "#100 // Gabriel Jesus → Sané Manchester City 2 – 0 Cardiff City"
Paul Pogba's had a rough go of it this year, in Manchester. In the media.
But the one solid virtue was: "Well he is a World Cup winner"
So here he is again, with team France… back in that World Cup winner form.
Continue reading "#99 // Pogba → Griezmann France 1 – 0 Moldova"
The Astana Arena is 2,930 miles from Edinburgh.
And these guys are in the "Euro" qualifiers.
(Applause for the assist, but still… ) Huh?
Continue reading "#98 // Kuat → Vorogovskiy Kazakhstan 2 – 0 Scotland"
The next X-Men movie should be set at a youth soccer academy.
A young Lionel Messi. A young Luis Suárez.
The true story—of how telepathy made its way onto a field in Seville.
Continue reading "#97 // Suárez → Messi Barcelona 2 – 0 Real Betis"
This has happened at least once before, you know.
The weather giving an assist.
Continue reading "#96 // ⛄ ⛄ ⛄ → Bayer Leverkusen Bayer Leverkusen 2 – 0 Hannover 96"


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Amazon is making one-day shipping the standard for Prime members.
During the company's first-quarter earnings call last Thursday, Chief Financial Officer Brian Olsavsky said that Amazon plans to shorten the current two-day default free shipping plan to one day from Prime members.
"We're currently working on evolving our prime free two-day shipping program to be a free one-day shipping program," Olsavsky said.
In order for these changes to happen, Amazon will be planning on spending over $800 million in the second quarter to improving warehourse and delivery infrastructures said Olsavsky at the conference call. This investment in return will also be cutting into Amazon's profit margins and due to that the company has prepared for that.
Currently, Amazon does have one-day and two-hour shipping for certain products for an extra cost but this change would increase the amount of items available for one-day shipping along with the free cost that comes with being a Prime member. Olsavsky did state that currently the company offers over 100 million items for free two-day shipping. The change will first take place in the North American market, Olsavsky noted, but is designed to expand globally, across all countries that offer Prime memberships. Amazon said last year that it has over 100 million Prime members worldwide.
He aslo did state that he would use all available resources to make free one-day shipping possible which include existing partnerships with the U.S. Postal Service and UPS as well as Amazon's very own third-party delivery network. Olsavsky declined to give more details about the change like the timeline for the one-day shipping saying that the move involves many different moving parts and that "We're taking a significant step."


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Towson Tigers
Before rejoining the EAGL conference in 2013, the Tigers were a force to be reckoned with in the ECAC, winning 14 conference titles as well as numerous individual titles. Towson has appeared at regionals 13 times, the last being in 2000 and managed to qualify to the NCAA National Championships once in 1990, finishing ninth. In 2016, the team placed sixth at the EAGL Championship and qualified two individuals to regionals. The most well-known Towson alumna is undoubtedly Kacy Catanzaro, who made a splash on the popular TV show American Ninja Warrior in 2014, a reality show that tests competitors with an obstacle course. Catanzaro made history by being the first woman in the show to both scale the 14' warped wall and to earn a trip to the show's final challenge. "Mighty Kacy" came back to the show in 2015 and 2016. Other successful former gymnasts include Erin Shanley, Gabi Weller and Kristen Presutti.
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Michelle "The Karate Hottie" Waterson is an American mixed martial artist who competes in the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC). She is the former Invicta FC Atomweight Champion.
Between 2013–2014 she was ranked the #1 women's atomweight fighter in the world. As of December 12, 2018, she is #8 in the strawweight rankings
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From the mundane to divine, some of the best-designed products of all time. A well-designed product equally elevates form and function.
It is pleasing to look at, easy to use and solves a common problem. We reached out to five design professors and posed the following question: What's the best-designed product of all time, and why? Their responses vary from cheap, everyday products to newer, more expensive ones. But all share a story of trial, error and ingenuity. Cutting the glare Catherine Anderson, The George Washington University In the early 1920s, as Danish designer Poul Henningsen observed Copenhagen at night, he lamented the quality of light in people's homes.
Henningsen set out to create a new design that would mitigate this "dismal" effect; it would be "…constructed with the most difficult and noble task in mind: lighting in the home." "The aim is to beautify the home and who lived there," he wrote, "to make the evening restful and relaxing." His approach was scientific. In 1924, the "PH lamp" was born. It's delightful to look at. Terminal waits Craig M. How the Soviets invented the internet and why it didn't work. On the morning of 1 October 1970, the computer scientist Viktor Glushkov walked into the Kremlin to meet with the Politburo.
He was an alert man with piercing eyes rimmed in black glasses, with the kind of mind that, given one problem, would derive a method for solving all similar problems. And at that moment the Soviet Union had a serious problem. A year earlier, the United States launched ARPANET, the first packet-switching distributed computer network that would in time seed the internet as we know it. The distributed network was originally designed to nudge the US ahead of the Soviets, allowing scientists' and government leaders' computers to communicate even in the event of a nuclear attack.
It was the height of the tech race, and the Soviets needed to respond. Glushkov's idea was to inaugurate an era of electronic socialism. But when Glushkov entered the cavernous room that morning, he noticed two empty chairs at the long table: his two strongest allies were missing. Is Keck's Law Coming to an End? Since 1980, the number of bits per second that can be sent down an optical fiber has increased some 10 millionfold.
That's remarkable even by the standards of late-20th-century electronics. It's more than the jump in the number of transistors on chips during that same period, as described by Moore's Law. There ought to be a law here, too. Call it Keck's Law, in honor of Donald Keck. He's the coinventor of low-loss optical fiber and has tracked the impressive growth in its capacity. Moore's Law may get all the attention. Now, as electronics faces enormous challenges to keep Moore's Law alive, fiber optics is also struggling to sustain the momentum. The heart of today's fiber-optic connections is the core: a 9-micrometer-wide strand of glass that's almost perfectly transparent to 1.55-µm, infrared light. The Information Liar Paradox: A Problem for Floridi's RSDI Definition. Three meanings of "technology"
OMiLAB - OMiLAB Portal. Technological singularity. The technological singularity is the hypothesis that accelerating progress in technologies will cause a runaway effect wherein artificial intelligence will exceed human intellectual capacity and control, thus radically changing civilization in an event called the singularity.[1] Because the capabilities of such an intelligence may be impossible for a human to comprehend, the technological singularity is an occurrence beyond which events may become unpredictable, unfavorable, or even unfathomable.[2] The first use of the term "singularity" in this context was by mathematician John von Neumann.
Proponents of the singularity typically postulate an "intelligence explosion",[5][6] where superintelligences design successive generations of increasingly powerful minds, that might occur very quickly and might not stop until the agent's cognitive abilities greatly surpass that of any human. Basic concepts Superintelligence Non-AI singularity Intelligence explosion Exponential growth Plausibility.
A year of tech industry hype in a single graph. Tech industry trends follow a fairly predictable pattern: there's a rush of hype, an inevitable backlash, and then a long, tired slog towards a product that actually works.
It eventually produces incredible things like the internal combustion engine or my Droid 4, but it can be hard to tell exactly where given technology is on the slow journey from bullshit to reality. Luckily, the analysts at Gartner have given us a kind of roadmap, plotting out the trends of 2014 on an immutable line they call the Hypecycle. Gartner has been making these for 20 years, and there's always a lot of guesswork involved, but this one's particularly useful as a snapshot of the present moment.
Speech recognition is just starting to be useful (hello, Siri), and virtual reality decks like the Oculus Rift are getting there. People have stopped saying "big data" as much, but "internet of things" is still ascendant, and god help us once "neurobusiness" gets going.


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The Importance of LTIPS in Compensation Planning
By: Paul R. Dorf, APD, CRI
Privately-owned companies have many things going for them, plus some significant disadvantages when compared to publicly-traded firms. One major issue is the fact that whereas public companies use stock as a compensation tool, most private organizations will not use their equity to reward their executives or key employees. This has always been a significant disadvantage, which is being changed through the use of Long-Term Incentive Plans (LTIPs). A recent study indicated that while 98% of public companies provide some form of long-term plan, which are typically stock-based, 63% of private companies are now offering LTIPs, most of which are cash-based. This is an 80% increase from 2007, when only 35% offered LTIPs in private companies. The use of LTIPs is extremely important since they can easily account for at least one-third of the typical executive's total compensation package.
There are five (5) related LTIP questions: (1) What are LTIPs? (2) How do they work? (3) What are the restrictions on them? (4) What are the benefits of LTIPs? (5) How do we go about developing one?
(1) What are LTIPs?
Long-Term Incentive Plans (LTIPs) are specifically designed incentive programs that provide a significant potential award over and above Base Salary and annual incentives/bonuses covering performance periods in excess of 1 year. LTIPs fall into two major categories: (1) multi-year plans tied to three to five years fixed or rolling performance periods; and (2) career-based plans in which the benefits accrue over the individual's working career, to be paid when they retire.
(2) How do LTIPs work?
The design feature that is most important for private companies is that the awards are paid in cash, although equity can also be used. A major advantage of LTIPs is that companies have tremendous freedom in their design, unlike the myriad of government regulations impacting stock plans. LTIPs can be designed to meet the company's existing systems and capabilities. The performance periods and measures typically relate to the company's strategic plan and goals, which are established at the beginning of a performance period.
(3) What are the restrictions on LTIPs?
The only requirement in designing an LTIP is that it must comply with the requirements of IRC §409A, since the LTIP is considered Non-Qualified Deferred Compensation. Noncompliance makes the entire plan non-enforceable for all participants, in which case the funds must be given back and become fully taxable plus incurring a 20% excise tax.
(4) What are the Benefits of LTIPs?
There are a number of significant advantages inherent in LTIPs; these include:
- Retention – Regulations require that LTIPs must contain a "substantial risk of forfeiture". The most common requirement is continued employment, therefore the LTIP acts a "golden handcuff", which subjects the participant to loss of any accumulated LTIP awards if the participant voluntarily terminates or is fired for Cause.
- Focus of Desired Results – Clearly, the objective of any incentive plan is the successful achievement of one or more pre-set performance goals; establishing goals up front allows the participants to "focus on the target".
- Balance of Short- and Long-Term Decision Making – A common criticism is that since participants are non-owners, they are only concerned with short-term, annual results; whereas, LTIPs allow participants to share in the long-term results, and therefore consider the consequences of both their short- and longer-term decisions.
- Sharing in the Organization's Growth – A very important concern by many executives is that the work and investment they make in the company's long-term success does not accrue to them. The LTIP allows them to share in the company's growth, by tying their rewards to that success, as though they were an owner.
(5) How do we go about developing one?
Building an LTIP requires a number of items: these include commitment by the Owner/Shareholders, acceptance of a Compensation Philosophy covering the What, Who, Why, and How of compensation; either a Strategic Plan or at least an understanding of what is expected in the future, a well thought-out design, and the willingness to communicate targets and results.