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I do not know when my hair fetish began, but it seems to have been part of me since I first became interested in girls. Â This is an account of my experiences with girls/women and notably those with short hair. Â It spans from when I was 13 in 1989 to the present. Â It is based on the best of my recollection, but probably includes some elaboration that may fill in the gaps.
I have had the good fortune of understanding enough about the opposite sex to know what they like and what makes them feel good. Â For that reason, I have been able to attract girls/women, even though I may not be the best looking guy or superstar athlete.
Since I was young, I knew that what most girls want is to feel good about themselves and feel wanted. Â They like feeling like a guy is interested in who they really are. Â I have always been able to get girls talking and feeling comfortable around me. Â From there, it is easy. Â I also have hazel eyes that stand out in a way that girls have always been attracted to. Â These qualities have resulted in me usually being able to chose many of the girls who interest me and attract them romantically.
By the second year of junior high school I was already interested in girls. Â I had a group of friends who had girls hanging out with them and I was considered one of the nice guys who girls wanted to be with. Â At that time I was 13 and am not sure if I was really interested in girls or just liked to idea of having girls interested in me.
The first girlfriend I had went to school with me and was in my grade. Â Her name was Stephanie and she was considered one of the good looking girls in 8th grade. Â She was starting to develop and had light brown hair that was permed and around shoulder length. Â It was typical 1980s hair with no shortage of hairspray and other product. Â Steph was about 5'3″ at the time and was thin but had a bit of a body already.
She was into me more than I was into her. Â After several months of playing childish games, we were at of a friend's house in December and she kissed me. Â It was the first kiss for me and to be honest did not mean much. Â I liked it at the time, but mostly because it made me feel cool and grown up. Â By Monday the whole school knew about the kiss and I had not told anyone. Â This too made me feel pretty cool.
Shortly after, Steph and I were "going out" and I guess I had a girlfriend. Â We went to movies together and went out on "dates". Â We would see each other at school and get together about once a week. Â When we had time alone we would kiss, but nothing more, which was fine by me. Â I was never all that attracted to her appearance, although many guys thought she was "hot".
By February her hair was starting to get longer and straighter as her perm grew out. Â I remember once going over to her house when she was sick and I saw her without product in her hair. Â I remember liking the way she looked that way, even though it made her hair longer and her curls bigger. Â Near the end of February I remember seeing her at school one Monday morning and saw that she got her hair cut and permed again. Â It was very curly, like it was at the beginning of the school year and was cut above her shoulders, around mid neck.
This may be the first flash of a fetish that I can recall. Â It was the first time I felt the feeling that I would later learn was attraction. Â I liked her hair better and liked the way it showed off her neck. Â As soon as she saw me, she asked me if I hated her hair. Â She said her stylist cut too much and she looks like a poodle. Â It really was not that short and it was still a pretty typical style for many girls back then. Â I told her I liked it, but did not say much more than that. Â The next time we made out, I remember holding her neck and kissing it. Â That may be some of the first real sexual feelings that I had. Â I also remember liking it when she talked about her hair and the cut she just got. Â I was 13 and really do not remember much more than that.
By April we were tired of each other and had a 13 year old version of a break up where we agreed that we could be with other people. Â We had some of the same friends, but did not stay close by any means. Â Looking back, I do not think I was ever that into her, but it was a good experience for 13.
That summer I "made out" with a girl who was a year older, went to a different school and was more mature than I was. Â She had longer blonde hair that was probably mid back length. Â Once again, I think most of the thrill was being cool to may friends. Â I do not recall any serious attraction.
Ninth grade was more of the same in that I did not have a real girlfriend. Â I would hang out with girls and some of my friends had girlfriends. Â I was set up on double dates a few times and nothing came of them. I made out with one girl who was cute, but it again was nothing serious. Â Near the end of the year I became friendly with Natalie who I was in class with. Â She had what I thought at the time was short hair. Â It was permed and cut to chin length.
Natalie came to school one day with her hair cut a little shorter, so it went right to her hair line. Â I remember focusing on it and feeling urges to it. Â After that I tried to talk to Natalie more and see if we could get closer. Â I remember staring at her and wondering what it would be like to kiss her. Â She did not have many of the same friends as me and by the end of the school year I did not have the chance to get to know her better. Â The summer came and I pretty much forgot about her. Â It was again an early attraction based on short hair.
High school began in grade 10 in my school system and was an exciting time from the start. Â I still remember the first day, hanging out with my friends from junior high and trying to look cool to the guys who were from other junior high schools who joined us. Â Many of the girls I knew were starting to look better and we all were trying to impress each other. It was fun meeting people from other schools knowing that these would be the people I would be hanging out with for the next three years.
We were gathered in the cafeteria being assembled before our classes started and we were all hanging out at a few tables near the back. Â I then saw a girl walking near the front of the cafeteria. Â I doubt anyone else noticed her, but she stood out to me. Â She might have been 5'2″, thin figure, developed body (rather generously) and dressed in a way that looked like her mother picked out her clothes. Â Her friend was a kind of nerdy looking girl with glasses, straight mousy dark hair and not much body.
What caught my attention however was that this girl had short hair. Â Not just chin length, but really short. Â It was a soft bowl cut, with length on top no more than a few inches. Â It was straight and dirty blonde. Â The sides and back were probably less than an inch. Â There was enough length on the sides and back that it was not looking like it was buzzed, but it was short enough to look neat and a little darker than the longer hair on top.
She was sitting near the front of the cafeteria. Â I knew that she was not friends with the people I was hanging out with and may not have been considered part of the crowd I hung out with. Â For the rest of the assembly I was trying to look at her. Â I did not say anything to any of my friends and did not want anyone to see that I was looking at her. Â We were sent to our classes and much to my disappointment, she was not in any of my classes. Â I looked for her for the rest of the day and could not find her.
The next day I had other classes and I had hoped to find her. Â I did not. Â In the afternoon I got to my science class and had a few friends in it. Â I looked around for her and could not find her. Â I did however see her friend with the mousy brown hair. Â She was sitting at a table near the front of the class by herself. Â I was already with a few friends, but had to find a way to meet her friend. Â I left the class with the hope that when I returned most of the seats near my friends would be taken. Â I would then have no choice but to find a seat near the front of the class near her friend. Â I came back two minutes later and walked past where my friends where and most of the seats were taken. Â I went to the front and asked the girl with the mousy brown hair if the seat beside her was taken. Â She looked nervous and intimidated and said it is free without making eye contact with me.
Her name was Laura and she was very shy. Â It seemed like she had never talked to a guy before and I worked hard to get her talking. Â I noticed that some of the guys who I usually hung out with were looking at me funny. Â After class a guy who I recently met from the other junior high school asked me what I thought of the girl I was sitting with. Â I smiled and said I hope she is good at science. Â He laughed and made it clear that she was a bit of a nerdy girl. Â I wanted him to tell me more about her as I wanted to learn who her short hair friend was. Â Unfortunately, I could not get on this topic without a direct question.
I saw the short haired girls whose name I did not yet know in the hall the third day of school and got a glimpse of her at lunch. Â Both times I smiled at her hoping to make eye contact. Â If I did make any eye contact it was not noticeable. The next day I got to science early and sat in my seat. Â Laura was there early as well and I tried to use charm and make conversation. Â She was getting comfortable with me and started taking about herself a bit more. Â She finally made reference to her friend Sarah who she has been close with since third grade. I asked who that was and she described her. Â In the ten seconds that she described Sarah, chills ran down my body. Â I was not sure what the feeling was, but I knew something was up.
Next week at lunch break I saw Laura and her friend Sarah walking outside. Â I approached Laura to say hi. Â She was friendly to me and I could tell she felt special that I was coming up to her to talk to her. Â I made a bit of small talk and Sarah looked shy and did not say anything. Â I finally introduced myself to Sarah and shock her hand. Â This was a little weird, but I wanted to touch her. Â I introduced myself with a smile and making definite eye contact. Â She responded, "I know…, I mean I'm Sarah", while looking nervous and not knowing what to say. Â I then made some small talk about the science class I was in with Laura. Â Sarah did not say much and I could tell she was shy.
Then I started asking Sarah about her classes and did whatever I could to get her talking. Â I did this for two reasons. Â First, shy girls like being able to talk when they are comfortable. Â Second, if I was not using all of my efforts to make conversation, I could just look at Sarah. Â She had a beautiful smile, a bit of acne but not terrible, big green eyes, cute ears and an incredible neck that her short hair showed off. Â Her already womanly figure made her look very feminine, even though her hair was short. I had never had this feeling for a girl before and was hoping it would not be too obvious. Â I would smile at what she said and tried to give Laura a chance to talk as well. Â We probably spent 10 minutes together before we went in after lunch. Â It was a feeling I never had before and the rest of the day it was all that I could think about.
Later that week I saw Sarah again in the hall and asked how she was doing. Â She was still very shy and had to work to get her talking. Â As I made an innocent smile at her this time, I noticed she blushed a little and looked nervous. Â This was a good sign to me. Â Whenever I saw Sarah she was either alone or with Laura. Â I could tell she was shy and not one of the popular girls. Â If anything, this was a turn on to me. Â The next week or two, I would see Sarah, say hi and try to make small talk when I could. Â I also continued to work on Laura to make sure she liked her lab partner. Â We even studied together for science after school one day. Â Lucky, I did not detect any attraction from Laura (which could have made things ugly).
Near the beginning of October I saw Sarah after school and approached her. Â As we were talking a few of my friends passed by and one of the girls, Alana (who I was sort of friends with), made a stupid comment asking what I was doing talking to the weirdo. Â Sarah immediately turned red and walked away from us. Â I responded in a voice loud enough for Sarah to still hear, "Sorry Alana, I just felt like talking to someone who in not an insecure bitch". Â The guys laughed and the other girls looked confused (trying to figure out what side to take). Â I then made the brave move to walk away from my friends and follow Sarah. Â This sounds easy, but at 15 it is a dangerous move.
Sarah was walking fast and not looking back. Â I followed her and tried to catch up. Â She kept her head down and tried to speed up. Â When I finally caught up I could see she was trying to hold back tears and her face was red. Â I told her not to let stupid comments by insure girls bother her and she just nodded. Â I say it does not mean anything and that Alana is just a bitch who only feels good putting others down. Â Sarah then looked at me and said that I have no idea how it feels to be made fun of all of the time. Â She said that these same girls have been making her feel bad as long as she could remember, telling her she is ugly and making fun of her short hair. Â This was the first time she ever made mention of her hair and it sent chills through me.
I faced Sarah and said, "You are better than that. Â You should not care. Â You are not ugly and I like your hair. Â If I wanted to be around them more than you would I be here now?" Â "You don't even know me and just feel bad for me", she responded. Â I then said, "I like what I know about you. Â Is there anything wrong with that?" Â She then broke a cute and shy smile. Â I then went on, "If you feel that way, will you let me get to know you better?" Â She nodded and said, "I am not like your friends, I do not get invited to parties. Â I look nerdy and my hair makes me look like a boy"
"What is wrong with your hair?", I asked. Â She then explained that she has always kept her hair short. Â Both her mother and her stylist encourage her to and she thinks it makes her look like a boy. Â I did not want to say too much, as I was already uncomfortable about how I was fixated on her hair. Â I told her that I liked how she does not look like all of the other girls and that short hair looks good on her. Â She also looked very feminine. Â She looked down and kind of grinned. Â She said no one had said anything like that to her before. Â I told her I meant it and hope it did not make her uncomfortable. Â She just blushed. Â I wanted to kiss her, but I knew that would freak her out and probably scare her off.
I then asked her where she was going and she told me she was walking home. Â I asked if I could walk with her. Â She just nodded. Â After that, we just talked comfortably with one another and I could tell I finally broken the ice. Â I did not want to follow her all of the way home, as I knew that was creepy, so part way I said I was going the other way. Â I asked if we could maybe go out together after school one day. Â She blushed again and said she would have to see. Â I asked why and she told me she would have to ask her parents. Â I said if they did not like the idea, I would be happy to come over and hang out with her under their supervision. Â She laughed and said she would let me know. Â I said I was serious.
I also warned her to expect some talk at school tomorrow about what happened. Â I told her I would be getting it too and we have to promise to stick together and not let what people are saying keep us away from each other. Â She told me none of these people even talk to her, so it would be my problem. Â I said if it does not upset her it is not a problem. Â As I was talking to Sarah, I finally looked into her eyes and saw her hair that was noticeably longer than it was when school started. Â Her bangs were at her eyebrows and the sides had more length now and were touching the top of her ears. Â I just could not get enough of looking at her.
We did not see each other the next day at school and I took some heat for the incident with Alana. Â I was proud of the whole thing and made it clear that I was right. Â Some of the guys I hung out with made some comments about Sarah, but they could tell I did not want to hear them make fun of her. Â I learned a bit about her from some of the guys who went to junior high school with her. Â She was good in school, quiet, had one or two friends, was considered a nerd, but was considered a nerd with a good body. Â I looked for Sarah the second day and found her at lunch. Â She was with Laura and I could not tell if she wanted me to approach her. Â I did anyway and Laura looked unsure whether to say or go. Â I tried to make Laura feel comfortable, so she would stay and make Sarah feel comfortable.
After a bit a small talk and right in front of Laura, I asked Sarah about going out after school one day. Â She said her parents were not sure if it was a good idea. Â I said, okay, then let me know when they will be home so I can come over and they can watch over me. Â I looked at her again and said, "I am serious". Â She smiled and said she would let me know. Â I thought that might be it for a while. Â To my surprise, a few days later at school Sarah found me and said she asked her parents and I could come over for dinner on Saturday night. Â Although this was not my typical Saturday night, I was excited and knew I now had to play my A-game with her parents. Â I also got her phone number so we could make the arrangements. Â This was a good sign as well.
When Saturday came, I headed over early to hang out with Sarah. Â I was nervous heading to the door of Sarah's house. Â Sarah opened the door and looked incredible. Â I could tell she spent time on her hair and was wearing nicer clothes than usual. Â I think I was more nervous than she was. Â Both of her parents and her younger sister were there. Â Her younger sister was 13 and was clearly more into fashion and appearance than Sarah. Â Her sister's hair was longer than Sarah's, but still a bob style. Â Her sister made conversation with me and could tell that I was not one of Sarah's typical friends. Â Her parents were friendlier than I had expected and were asking me the normal parent questions. Â I was good at handling the questions and made them happy when I helped clean up after dinner.
I tried not to stare at her in front of her parents but probably could not help myself. Â I liked looking at pictures of Sarah to see what she looked like at different ages. Â It seemed as though her hair had always been different short styles, some longer than others. Â I could also see that she had matured quite a bit in the last year or so. Â She actually took me up to her room, but in an innocent way. Â I promised myself that I would not even try to kiss her or make any kind of move. Â I enjoyed the feeling of fighting my urges. Â I had set it up that at the end of the evening my mother would come to pick me up. Â I asked her to actually come to the door, talk to Sarah's parents and invite her over to our place for dinner. Â At first she thought I was joking, but when she saw I was serious she helped me out. Â The plan went over well and Sarah's mom said nice things about me to my mom and agreed that Sarah could come over.
We hung out at school a bit more and Sarah started feeling more comfortable around me. Â She would even hang out with my friends a little but, even though I could tell she was shy around them. Â It was a very warm day in mid October when we were hanging out after school. Â I was staring at her a bit while she was talking and she caught me looking at her. She looked back and I could tell she seemed nervous. Â I just smiled and waited for her to make the next move. Â Sarah then looked ashamed and said, as if she had done something wrong that she has never kissed anyone before. Â I asked if she had ever wanted to and she bravely said she had wanted to kiss me since the day I stuck up for her to my friends.
I then approached her and we kissed for the first time. Â It was not my first kiss, but it was the first time I felt the feeling that I did. Â I now know it was love. Â Many years have pasted and I am now married (not to Sarah), but I still think that kiss is the one I remember best. As our kiss ended I saw that Sarah's cheeks were bright red and she looked almost possessed. Â I then put my hand to the side of Sarah's head put move her towards me for another kiss. Â She smiled and for the first time I got to run my figures through Sarah's hair that was now around an inch in length behind her ear. As we kissed, I ran my fingers towards the back of Sarah's head and then forward to where her grown out bowl cut was close to three inches on top. It was one of the best feelings I had ever experienced.
I walked Sarah home and asked her to see if her parents would let her come over to my place on Saturday evening. Â Sarah said she would try, but was not sure if her parents would let her. Â I told her to remind her mother or my mother's invitation that she comes over for dinner. Â She smiled and said goodbye. Â I can still picture the way she looked that day. Â That night Sarah was all I could think about. Â I have never felt that way about anyone before.
The next day we hardly saw each other. Â At the end of school, Sarah found me and asked if we could hang out a bit before. Â We found somewhere quiet and made out again. Â She was as into it as I was. Â She told me her parents would let her come over, but would pick her up early. Â I was happy and we kissed some more. Â This time she put her hands in my hair as we kissed as well. Â This made me feel normal running my hands through Sarah's short hair.
On Friday I asked about when she is coming over and how late she could stay. Â Her mom said no later than 9:30. Â I said she should try to come by early than, as I wanted to spend time with her. Â She said she would try to get to my place as early as possible, but her mom was taking her to get her hair cut at 3:30 on Saturday. Â I put all of the energy I had into controlling myself and not looking too interested. Â I was silent and hoped she would say more about the haircut. Â She smiled and said almost regretfully, "I guess I am getting it chopped again." Â I said that she sounded upset about it. Â She then explained how her mom likes her hair short and her stylist always cuts it short no matter what she wants. Â I asked what she wants. Â She said she actually likes having short hair most of the time, but knows it makes her look like a geek and that guys hate it.
I held her and told her she is not a geek and that I like her hair the way it is. Â She said that she knows I would like her better if she had long blonde hair. Â I did not want to seem too enthusiastic, but I said I would not and I really like short hair on her. Â She said she did not believe me. We kissed some more. Â Later that night she called to tell me that her mom would drop her off right after her hair cut. Â That night my imagination ran wild thinking about seeing Sarah the next day with her new hair. Â That night and the next day I could not even concentrate on anything. Â All I could think about was Sarah. Â At 3:30 I started thinking about what was happening with Sarah now. Â The next hour seemed to take months to go by.
At 4:30 my doorbell rang. Â I asked my mom to get he door and I waited in my room. Â I wanted to stay cool around my parents. Â I heard then my mom and Sarah talking at the door as I waited to come downstairs. Â I was so excited to see Sarah, but did not want to show it, especially around my mom. Â When I got downstairs I tried hard not to stare. Â I am sure I did anyway. Â I let my mom talk for a little more and then told Sarah I wanted to show her around my house. Â As we left my mom, I finally got a good look at her.
Sarah's hairdresser appeared to do what she does best. Â She cut Sarah's hair into the same soft bowl cut/ mushroom cut, leaving the top around 2 inches, with bangs parted gently on the side. and covering part of her forehead. Â From the front it showed off her eyes and long eyelashes. Â The longer hair on top and sides was cut to about a 1/2 inch above her ears and was even in the back. Â Her hair on the sides and in the back were cut scissors over comb so there was very little length, but enough so that her scalp was not showing. The length in the back was the same and showed off her shapely neck. Her hairline in the back was trimmed neatly with a clipper and her sideburns were cut short. It was probably a little shorter than her her when I saw her on the first day of school.
I felt myself throbbing in a way that I could barely control myself. Â I did not say anything and just showed her around the house trying to make conversation. Â The tour ended in my room. Â I kept the door open and we sat down. Â I smiled at her and she looked at me with her usual nervous look. Â I guess you hate my hair she said. Â "Why do you say that", I asked. Â She looked sad and said that it is too short and she looks like a boy. Â She then explained that her hairdresser washed her hair and when she was in the chair just said I guess we are cleaning it up and getting it out of the way. Before Sarah could answer her mom said that is perfect and she just started cutting. Â In no time, her hairdresser was done.
I told her I liked it on her and she still looked very girly. Â I told her it makes her face look beautiful and I like the fact that she did not look like all the other girls at school. I asked how long she has had short hair and she explained that her mother has always had her keep her hair pretty short. Â It was usually a short bob until the beginning of this summer when her hairdresser suggested a short stylish cut that is practical and is becoming very popular. Â Her mother immediately said that is a great idea and it would suit Sarah. Â Sarah said she could try something a bit shorter for the summer, as she hated having to spend a lot of time dealing with her hair. Â Her stylist then put her hair up in clips and started chopping the back and then the sides. Â By the time Sarah saw how short she was going, her hairdresser had already taken the length of the back and sides. Â She asked if it was too short and her hairdresser just told her she will love it and kept cutting.
Sarah told me how she cried when she got home and then cried even more the next morning when she showered and had barely any hair to wash. Â I felt bad for her, but could only think about what a turn on it was for me. Â She then explained that before school her mom took her to get her hair cut again and she got it cut even shorter. Â The cut she got today was the shortest her hair had ever been. Â I ran my fingers through her prickly feeling hair in the back and said I think it looks great on her. She said she still does not believe me. Â I said does this feel like I am lying and I pulled her towards me and kissed her more deeply than we had kissed before. Â She could feel the passion as we kissed and I held her. Â It was then that she finally believed that I liked her the way she was. Â When we stopped kissing she looked like she was about to cry. Â I asked her what was wrong and she said that no one had ever made her feel this way before.
This was a feeling for me that I never had before and I realized how strong my attraction to short hair really was. Â Hearing Sarah talk about her hair and having it cut was the ultimate turn on for me, but I tried very hard to hide it. Â I did not want to seem weird or like a freak to her. Â We went down to my basement to hang out and watch TV. Â I just wanted to get close to her, but had to keep things under control as both of my parents were home and I did not want to scare her. Â When we were watching TV she lay back on me and I held her. Â For the first time, I kissed the back of her neck. Â It was an incredible turn on for both of us. Â Again, not much more could happen, as my parents were home and we were in my basement. Â At one point she turned to me and told me that she loves having me kiss her neck like this. Â I pointed out that this would not be as easy if she had long hair in the way. Â I think this was the first time she really felt good about her appearance. Â We then kissed more until we came up to have dinner with my family.
After dinner we hung out in my room. Â Sarah really liked making out, but I knew to take things slowly. Â I figured I would let her decide when she was ready to go further. Â That night she also asked me, if I was now her boyfriend. Â I said I did not know, but I wanted her to be my girlfriend. Â This was a dream come true for me. Â Her mother picked her up at 9:00. Â I met up with my friends that night, but could not stop thinking about Sarah. Â I let my friends know that things were becoming serious with Sarah. Â They did not know what to say, as she was not like the girls most of us had dated. Â This actually made me feel good.
As time went on, our relationship grew stronger. Â Sarah's parents slowly started to give her more freedom and let her stay at my place later or let me hang out at her place in her room with the door closed. Â They liked me and knew I treated Sarah well. Â Sarah also became much more comfortable around me. Â She knew that I liked her for who she was. Â This meant she could be herself around me. Â This was the first time I was in a relationship like this. Â I cannot give much in the way of details about our physical relationship, out of respect for her and the fact that I am talking about a girl who was only 15 at the time. Â Needless to say, the physical aspect of our relationship progressed as well. Â Sarah was shy, but liked being close and was far less prude than I would have thought she would have been.
By early December, her hair was starting to noticeably grow out. Â Her hair grew very fast. Â The length on the sides and back got thicker. Â It was not neat and even in the back anymore. Â Her hair on top was longer and not as controlled . Â It was starting to get in her face a little. Â She had to push it off her forehead more and it got messy easier. Â It still felt great to play with, but no longer had that spiky feel to it. Â I rarely brought it up, but would compliment her the odd time and tell her that her hair looked good. Â She brought up hair once when we were alone together. Â She mentioned that it was bothering her and her mom was already telling her that she needed a trim. Â I said it was starting to look a little shaggy. Â She immediately looked at me and seemed a bit surprised. Â She asked if I really like her hair better short. By now she really should have gotten the hint.
I told her that I think it looks great short. Â I also told her that I like being able to kiss her without her hair getting in the way or falling in my face. Â I had told her this before, but this time she really understood that I like her hair better when it is short. Â She asked if I want her to keep it short. Â I told her she should do whatever she likes and I will still think she is beautiful. Â She said that she will probably get it cut again before Christmas and she was afraid her hairdresser will cut it even shorter this time. Â I said that she would be beautiful no matter what and I would feel the same way about her if she had no hair at all.
It was the last week of school before the Christmas holidays when we were hanging out at lunch and I asked Sarah about hanging out after school. Â She said she could not, as her mom was taking her to the hairdresser. Â She said that her hair was driving her crazy and it gets to a point were she just wants it out of the way. Â She said she might try something different. Â I asked what and she said she did not know, but thought she could use a change. Â I told her that I like change and she should not be afraid. Â That is all that I said, although I wanted to say more.
After school I Â could think of nothing other than Sarah and pictured what it looked like as she got her hair cut. Â I called her after dinner and did not bring up anything about her hair, as I did not want to seem too interested. Â Near the end of our conversation, she brought it up and reminded me that she got her hair cut. Â I asked if she was happy and she said I would see tomorrow at school if I recognized her. Â I asked her what she meant and she would not tell me. She just said, "you will see". Â I asked for a hint and she would not say anything more. Â I had to spend the whole night thinking of what I would see at school the next day. Â I could not wait.
The next morning I left home early to get to school early enough to see Sarah before classes started.  Sarah usually got to school early, so I thought I could find her.  I headed towards were Sarah's locker was and noticed that she was already there.  As I saw her I felt a throbbing in me like I had never felt before.  Sarah had her hair permed into tight curls on the top of her head.  The curls were small, as there was not a lot of length to curl.  Her hair was cropped short in the back and over her ears.  The length on the sides and back was similar to the last time she got it cut, but the scissors over comb length was now well above her ears and stayed short until the curls started.  It was 1991 so  permed hair was still very common and short perms were not that rare, even in high school.  This was still a big difference from most of the girls who had big hair with lots of hair spray.
Sarah looked nervous as she saw me. Â "Do you hate it", she asked. Â "Of course not, I love it. Â You look amazing", I said back. Â I ran my fingers down the side of her hair and felt her prickly hair. Â Chills ran down my spine. Â She smiled and came closer to kiss me. Â I could not get over how beautiful she looked. Â I was also incredibly attracted in a way that I could barely control myself. Â I was not one to get intimate in school, but we kissed in the middle of the hall. Â It was like no one else was there. Â I asked if she wanted to cut class and come over to my house. Â This was unlike me, but I just wanted to be close to Sarah. Â I thought she would say no, but instead she just asked if anyone was home at my house. Â I told her my parents were at work. She agreed and suggested we both leave separately to avoid attention and meet nearby. Â This was not like Sarah either, but I think we both felt the same way.
We met up outside the school and hugged each other. Â As we walked to my house I asked about her new style and what made her do it. Â She told me that she wanted a change and that she did not want to even try growing it out. Â She told her hairdresser that she was thinking of a change and her hairdresser suggested maybe a cropped style shorter on top or a perm. Â Sarah was freaked out by either suggestion, but her mom jumped in and said a perm would be a great idea. Â Her hairdresser had time, so she said she could do it at that appointment. Â Â Sarah explained that in no time, she was getting her hair wrapped in small curler rods. Â She said she got scared when her hairdresser finished applying the rods, but she had not put any curlers on the sides or the back. Â She figured it was too late to speak up and just let her hairdresser apply the perm solution and put her under the dryer. Â Her hairdresser said she was making the curls tight because at this length it will grow out quickly if she does not.
Sarah stopped and asked if she was boring me with the details. Â I calmly said no (if only she knew what I was thinking). Â She went on to explain that she was under the dryer for close to 45 minutes. Â When she was done her hairdresser removed the rods and her hair was one big mess of curls all over the place with the sides still straight. Â Sarah's hairdresser looked at her said it is time to clean up this jungle. Â She then started thinning out her curls at a rapid pace. Â Sarah saw how much hair was coming off and slowly saw the short curls fall neatly into place. Â As her hairdresser cut her hair on top, she used a pick to shape the curls. Â When she was done she started taking the length that had grown in off the back. Â She trimmed it at first and then evened it out with the scissors right over the comb. Â Sarah had had this done before so she was not too surprised. Â This time however she felt her hairdresser taking it that short all the way to the top where her new curls were. Â After finishing the back she started trimming the sides. Â Sarah saw her cut off all of the length higher and higher, realizing why her hairdresser did not bother to put rods in the sides.
After what felt like forever, Sarah looked at herself in the mirror and saw that her hairdresser removed the length on the sides, all the way up to where the curls started on top. Â When her hairdresser had finished, she suggested evening out the sides and back with clippers, saying that the look is very popular. Â Sarah finally spoke up and said that she thought it was short enough for now. Â Her hairdresser finished by evening up the bottom with the clippers. Â She told Sarah that a lot of younger women are getting this cut and she would love how it is a wash and go style. Â Sarah told me that as she walked out she wanted to touch her hair but was afraid to. Â "So do you like it now", I asked. Â In response Sarah said that she is still getting used to it and was afraid what people would think of it. Â She loved how easy it was in the morning. Â She also said that she was not devastated getting her hair cut off this time because she knew I liked it short on her. Â This is the first time Sarah acknowledged that I like her hair short.
I asked if she told her stylist that her boyfriend likes her short hair. Â She laughed and said if she did she could only imagine how short her hair would now be. Â When we got to my house I was pretty worked up. Â We had the house to ourselves and made the most of it. Â Again, this story is not intended to get into private details. Â With that said, I can say that that morning at my house we went places we had not gone before. Â I can still remember looking at Sarah that day in my bedroom and noticing how her features were becoming larger and how feminine she looked even with her short curls. Â It was like a fantasy to me. Â To this day, I question whether I have been as attached to any woman's beauty as I was that morning in 1991. Â We must have stayed in my room for hours. Â I could not get enough of holding her, kissing her all over and playing with her hair.
Things must have been pretty serious, as she had me over for Christmas. Â Her entire family must have been over and many relatives had not seen Sarah for ages. Â Although these type of functions were not exactly my thing at 15, I loved looking at Sarah even with all of her family around. Â They were all complimenting her on how much she has grown up and how she now looks like a woman. Â This embarrassed Sarah and made me smile. Â Her hair got a number of comments as well. Â A bunch of her relatives commented how stylish it was and made reference to how popular short hair for women was. Â Remember, this was 1991 shortly after Demi Moore in the movie Ghost. Â It was also when perms were still common. Â Her relatives asked her younger sister if she was going to try a neat style like that. Â I knew Sarah's mom made her sister keep her hair pretty short, but she fought hard not to have it really short like Sarah.
We hung out upstairs after with a few of the younger relatives who were at the party. Â One of Sarah's cousins who was a little older than her mentioned how she liked Sarah's hair, but her boyfriend would break up with her if she went that short. Â I jumped in immediately and said that I would stay with Sarah no matter what her hair looked like. Â She asked me if I would rather have a girlfriend with long hair. Â This was uncomfortable for me, but I did not want to show it. Â I smiled and said I liked the way Sarah looked and her hair showed off her features. Â I added that if her hair was long it would just hide her face and get in the way when we kissed. Sarah blushed and everyone laughed. It was a memorable night which made me feel good to be with Sarah.
We spent time together over the holidays. Â My attraction to Sarah was practically uncontrollable. Â I just could not get enough of being close to her. Â We were getting more and more comfortable around each other. Â Sarah hung out with my friends for Near Year's eve and even drank a little, which was unlike her. Â Sarah's hair grew in quickly and by mid January had lost that prickly feeling that drove me wild. Â Many times I wanted to say something, but never did. Â I wanted Sarah to make her own decision with her hair. Â Sarah went until mid February without getting her hair cut again. Â By that time it was noticeably longer on the sides and the back was a little uneven. Â Her curls were getting looser and her hair was starting to hang over her forehead a little.
Once when I was at her house for dinner her mom brought up Sarah's hair and said that they had to book an appointment soon. Â Sarah said that she wanted to keep her curls so she did not want to go and have her hairdresser chop it all off. Â She smiled and her mom asked me if I liked Sarah's short curls. Â I was afraid to answer but said that I did and I thought it suited her. Â Her mother turned to Sarah's sister and said, "See, it would suit you too". Â Sarah's mom said that she was going to book an appointment for both of them next Saturday. Â I wondered what was next. Â I asked Sarah later that evening about her sister and Sarah told me that her sister, who had a neck length bob that had grown out layers, did not want to go short, but her mother was trying to talk her to do it.
When Saturday came around, I made plans that involved coming to Sarah's house, as I wanted to see if her sister ended up giving in. Â When I arrived her sister opened the door. Â With a bit of surprise I looked at her and saw a littler version of Sarah, with what must have been exactly the same cut and perm as Sarah had. Â It was a shocker to see, as I always pictured her with longer hair. Â She looked at me and said, "I bet you never knew Sarah had a brother". Â "I think it looks great on you", I responded. Â She looked at me and told me she hates it and is going to wear a hat for the next year. Â As I tried to make her feel better, Sarah came downstairs. She had gotten a trim to tidy up the sides and back a little, but keep most of the length. Â Her curls were thinned out a bit but not much length had been taken off. Â It looked neater, but was not a drastic change. Â I did not say anything about her hair and just brought Sarah into the conversation with her sister. Â We hung out a little and I was probably looking at Sarah's sister more than usual.
When Sarah and I were hanging out alone later she asked if I liked her hair, almost fishing for a compliment. Â I said I did. Â She said I did not say much when I first saw her. Â I explained that I was trying to make her sister feel better and that her hair always looks good. Â She could tell I had less enthusiasm than I had shown in the past. She explained that she did not want to cut too much, as she did not want to cut away the perm. Â I was still crazy about it.
By April, Sarah's hair for the first time was long enough to fall into my face when we kissed. Â Sarah was getting annoyed with it and told me a few times that she had to spend more and more time dealing with it. Â She would put clips in it to keep it off her face and complained that the sides were getting bushy and it made her head look wide. Â One afternoon I arrived at Sarah's house and she was still in the shower. Â I stayed downstairs at her place until she told me to come up. Â She was dressed, but her hair was still wet. Â The curls looked longer and were in her face.
For the first time, I saw Sarah style her hair in front of me. Â She put in product, blew it dry and then put clips in the front to get it out of her face. Â The whole routine probably took 20 minutes or so. Â I joked that I was happy I was a guy. Â She said she hated all the time she wastes just making her hair not look awful. Â She said it is driving her crazy and she did not know what to do, as she cannot perm over the hair that has already been permed. Â She explained that she either has to wait another 3 or 4 months or has the existing permed hair chopped off before perming it again. Â I asked how short that would be and she said it would be pretty short even on top. Â I said, "At least it would save you some time dealing with it. Â I would not complain." Â She looked back at me with a bit of surprise and said, "You really would not care if my hair was as short as yours?" Â I approached her, kissed her deeply pushing my body against her and just said, "I love you no matter what".
The next weekend my parents were going out of town and leaving me alone for two nights. Â This is the first time they did this and I wanted to have Sarah stay over. Â She wanted to as well, but knew her parents would never go for it. Â She was usually a good girl, but in this case she told her parents she was sleeping over at a friend's house who was having a party. Â I was surprised her parents went for it, but they did. Â Our plan was for her to go over to her friend's house and then she would come over to my place. Â A day or two after I commented again about how long Sarah's hair was getting and she asked me if I thought she should grow it or keep it short. Â I said she should do what she wants. Â She responded by saying that she was asking my opinion. Â I just said, I think I like it better short. Â She said her mom was taking her after school on Friday and asked what I thought she should do. Â I just said, "surprise me". At the time I was so tempted to tell her to keep it short, but I did not have the confidence to say this.
When Friday evening came around I was just hanging around my house nervous for Sarah to arrive. Â I had never had a girl stay over at my place before and was not sure how it would go. Â I was also scared about Sarah getting caught at my place, but we were pretty careful about it. Â I was also excited about seeing Sarah and hoped that she decided to go short again. Â Around 7:00 the doorbell rang. Â I wanted to run to the door, but took my time. Â I looked out the side of the window to get a peek at Sarah and felt like my body had been hit by something as I caught a glimpse at her. Â I opened the door and just looked at her. Â It was incredible. Â Her hair was a short cropped style. Â Unlike the styles she had before, the top was very short, probably a little over an inch. Â The curls were gone, but her hair still had some body and texture. Â It looked amazing. The sides were as short as they were when she first got the perm. Â The back was the same length, but her stylist had used clippers over her ears and in the back. Â This time she did not have a weight line separating her hair on top with the back and sides. Â It was blended neatly.
"Well, what do you think", she asked. Â I told her it was great and asked if she liked it. Â She was not sure. Â Like usual, her hairdresser went shorter than she had expected. Â She asked if where she should leave her bag and I just said to put it in my room. Â She blushed a little, as we had never really discussed sleeping in the same bed. Â She walked up to my room and I followed her. Â I loved looking at her from the back. Â It was not just her hair, but her neck and incredible butt. Â As we got to my room, I asked her if she was comfortable sleeping in my bed. Â She tried to look confident and said that she was already 16 (she turned 16 in March) and that has wanted to do this for some time. Â I had thought that we would hang out for a bit, but before I knew it we were in my bed. Â We had both been planning for this night to be special, but had not made "plans" for what would happen. Â Without getting into details, it was very special. Â Unlike most guys, this special moment was with someone a cared about a great deal and was incredibly attracted to. Â Fortunately for me, it was also with a beautiful girl with hair that was barely an inch long. Â It was a total dream for me. Â It also solidified my desire and feelings for short hair on women.
When we were still in bed together, I was sitting up and she was sitting in front of me. Â I was holding her, tickling her back and kissing her neck. Â I could tell she was no longer nervous and just felt good. I loved feeling her up against me. Â I ran my fingers through her hair. Â The area that was clipped felt different than it had before. Â It was rough and not long enough to be prickly. Â As my fingers went higher, it got prickly and then the top almost had a spiky feel to it as I pushed it forward. "I guess it we be a while until your hair gets in the way when we kiss", I said to her. Â "Tell me about it. Â I never pictured myself having hair this short", she responded. Â "It feels like nothing is there". Â I said it is sexy. Â She made her cute smile.
I then asked if she was planning to cut it like she did. Â I knew that would get her talking about it. Â She explained that when she got to the hairdresser, she was asked what she wanted to do. Â Sarah told her stylist that she was no sure what to do and was getting sick of having to deal with her hair that was starting to grow out. Â Her hairdresser explained that it is not good to perm over the original perm, so if she wants it curly again she will have to cut out the existing curls. Â Her hairdresser asked if she wanted to try something new and told her that she was doing more and more short cropped styles. Â She went on to explain the cut and how it is very stylish and super low maintenance. Â Sarah's mom than spoke up and said it would look very nice on Sarah. Â Her hairdresser than started spraying her hair and got the scissors out. Â Sarah did not object and wanted to make her hair low maintenance again. Â She also told me that she knew I liked her with short hair. Â I smiled.
Her hairdresser took the length of the sides and back first and then cut all of the curls off the top. Â Sarah was shocked at how short she was cutting her hair on top and was afraid it would be spiked on top. Â She said her hairdresser just kept going and before she knew it there was way more hair on the floor than on her head. Â She looked at the curls on the floor and saw that her hair was now straight again. Â Her hairdresser than went to work on the back and sides removing more or the length. Â When she was done, she told Sarah she was going to clean it up a little with the clippers. Â Sarah thought she was just going to tidy it up at the hairline like she had done before. Â This time however, she felt the clipper moving up her head all the way to the top of her ears. Â She was scared, but figured there was not much she could do at this point. Â When the cut was done Sarah's head felt almost naked. Â She could not believe how short it was.
As Sarah told me about this, I could hardly control myself. Â She had her body up against me and I was sitting in bed looking at the back of her hair. Â It was like a dream for me. Â She looked at me and asked what I really think. Â I turned her around to face me, pulled her close and said, "let me show you". Â It was an amazing night together. Â The next morning we showered together and she let me wash her hair. Â It felt neat, as it was way less hair than I had. Â It felt amazing. It was incredible how feminine she looked even with her hair very short. Â When she got out of the shower, she towel dried her hair and styled it with her hands. Â Within a few minutes it was dry. Â She said it was weird not having to blow dry her hair. Â I was thinking that I hope she keeps her hair like that forever. Â When we were in my bathroom that morning I felt what is was like to be in an adult relationship. Â I liked it.
Sarah got dressed and returned to her friend's house to have her mother pick her up. Â We met up the next day. Â I just could not get enough of her. Â On Monday at school one of my friends saw Sarah with me and actually commented that he likes Sarah's hair. Â I could tell it made her feel good. Â Her friend Laura also liked her hair and was saying that she was thinking of going short. Â I remember thinking it would not suit her as she had a kind of masculine face. Â I kept my mouth shut. Â I never got sick of looking at Sarah. Â Over the year she had changed. Â She was wearing make up to school now, her body had developed quite a bit more and she wore clothes that showed off her boobs. Â Back then tight body suits were in style. Â I liked the look. Â I was excited every day to see Sarah.
It was in early May that I learned that Sarah was going to summer camp as a counselor in training. Â I was staying in town for the summer. Â This worried me. Â At that age, two months away was a long time. Â Not long after Sarah and I were able to spend the night together at a friends house whose parents were out of town. Â We had our own room and it was another night that remains in my memory. Â I did not realize at the time that this would be the last night Sarah and I would be together. Â I still remember hold her from behind and kissing her neck as we were together.
Not long after that Sarah brought up the summer. Â I had been avoiding the issue and was uncomfortable about the idea of being away from Sarah, Â We talked about it for a while and then she said that we should probably call things off so we could have our freedom over the summer. Â I did not expect to hear this and did not like the idea. Â It was important to me to sound cool and in control so I agreed with her and that was that. Â Until Sarah left for camp we were still together, but things were not the same. Â I started hanging out with other girls and going out more without Sarah. Â It was like we were winding things down.
A week or two before camp, I asked Sarah if she was trimming her hair before camp. Â She told me that her and her sister made a pact that they would both grow their hair out. Â In spite of what I was really thinking, I told Sarah that was a great idea and she would look amazing no matter what. Â She said she was dreading the growing out stage. Â In a way I was happy, as it made me a little less into Sarah. Â I still remember our last kiss the night before she left for camp. Â We wrote letter to each other when Sarah was away, but the relationship was over.
That ends the first segment of the history of my hair experiences. Â Fortunately, this was only the beginning for me.


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The main investigator into the murders of Destiny McMinn and Santos Macias testified last week that Juan Anthony Cisneros Gonzalez seemed to act as the ringleader in his relationship with Freddy Torres. Gonzalez and Torres are charged with the murders.
Morgan County Sheriff's Investigator Jon Holt said it appeared that Gonzalez "set the schedule and made the decisions."
Holt said that assessment was based on communications sent between Torres and Gonzalez. On April 17, the day Macias' body was found, Torres sent Gonzalez a text asking him if the boys should go to school.
Holt said Gonzalez also sent Torres several texts in the hours following a meeting that other text messages suggest occurred between the boys and Macias on the night Macias and McMinn were last seen in which he instructed him to check on windows and switch dirt around at the garage where Gonzalez worked and where they had met Macias.
Holt said the boys also had both a friendship and business relationship as Gonzalez paid Torres to help him do auto glass and tint work on cars.
Holt also testified that deputies have found that Torres searched Google for information about how to dispose of bodies. Holt said friends of Torres' had also told them that he had bragged about shooting someone while visiting his dad in Mexico and being paid to commit drive-by shootings. Holt said deputies had not found evidence that Gonzalez conducted such searches or bragged about involvement in such crime.
Gonzalez's reverse transfer hearing, which is being held to determine whether Gonzalez will be charged as a juvenile or adult, will continue on Thursday at 1:30 p.m.
Paul Albani-Burgio: 970-441.5103, email@example.com

subset: commoncrawl


text: Full Screen E-mail a friend Twitter Facebook Share Print Format Contact us Stevaerts - A Cavalry Skirmish Palamedes Palamedesz., called Stevens Stevaerts (London 1607 - Delft 1638) A Cavalry Skirmish oil on panel49.4 x 85.4 cm (19½ x 33⅝ in) In this scene, Palamedes Palamedesz. has depicted a violent and frenzied battle. The battle is made up of a series of cavalry soldiers engaged in single duels, some have their swords drawn whilst others exchange pistol fire. In the centre of the painting is a detailed depiction of one of these clashes between two soldiers. The figure on the rearing, white horse fires down at his enemy. The shot man reels with the force of the bullet, his sword is useless as his steed slides along the ground. This creates an eye-catching contrast between the dominant and the fallen horses. Behind the two central figures, a melee of fighters in which multiple individual battles take place and the occasional detail, such as the flash of gunpowder or the thrust of a sword, can be made out. On the left-hand side of the painting, a man crawls away from the skirmish, his musket thrown from his grasp, and he is obviously struggling for breath. He has been knocked from his horse, which lies injured behind him, a small splash of blood below its belly. In the background a smaller group of fighters who have broken apart from the main battle can be seen. The composition is almost identical to another of Palamedesz.'s paintings, Cavalry Battle (Stockholms Universitet Konstsamling, Stockholm). There is the same central clash projecting from the throng of battle, from which the same figures and poses can be discerned. Palamedesz. was a specialist in painting military encampments and battle scenes and there are many recurring themes and motifs that appear in his work, in particular the image of a prominent, white rearing horse. It is unusual, however, for Palamedesz. to have painted two compositions quite so similar. In both paintings, as is characteristic of the battle paintings in which Palamedesz. specialised, the scenes include no identifiable individuals or parties. This stands in marked contrast to the sixteenth-century tradition of battle pictures in Italy and Germany, where a greater emphasis is given to the heroism of specific soldiers and military leaders. Palamedesz.'s paintings of cavalry battles are clearly related to the work of the Haarlem painter Esaias van de Velde (1587-1630). In Battle van de Velde has presented detailed depictions of a few figures, set against the great indiscernible throng of the battle behind, a technique Palamedesz. has also used. Again there is a contrast between dominance and helplessness and an interest in the dramatic sights of battle. The dark anonymity of the armoured cavalry soldiers however, gives van de Velde's painting a sinister feel. Rather than an evenly matched battle, the scene appears to represent merciless carnage. Palamedesz. was a Dutch painter and the younger brother and pupil of Anthonie Palamedesz. (1601-1673). He was born in London, where his father, a gem cutter, was in the service of King James I, although the family was originally from Delft. After the family returned to Delft, Palamedesz joined the Guild of St. Luke in 1627 and he can be considered part of the group of immigrants who revitalised the artistic climate of the city, along with figures such as his brother, Frans Spierincx (c.1550-1630) or Hans Jordaens I (c.1555-1630). He married the daughter of a wealthy Delft family in 1630 and the couple had four children. In 1631 Palamedesz. is recorded in Antwerp, where he had his portrait painted by Anthony van Dyck (1599-1641). He died in Delft and was buried there. Top Read More


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On Saturday we headed inland for the launch of Natasha Solomon's novel 'Mr Rosemblum's List'. I have been following Natasha's blog for some time now and it was lovely to finally meet her in person.
The village hall was all decked out with bunting, and cream teas were being scoffed. Natasha read from her book - a piece describing the very hall we were all sitting in.
And we even spotted a wooly pig (but for some reason blogger has decided not to let me upload the picture I took of it!!)
As for the book I bought - I'm really enjoying it!
Monday, 29 March 2010
Natasha Solomon's Book Launch
Labels: book signing, writing
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Some assets in the the Digital Assets Manager (DAM) are now being converted into bundles, making them hard to link or see.
Published December 6, 2016
With the new AEM version 6.1, when some assets are uploaded into the the Digital Asset Manager (DAM), they are converted by the UBCMS into bundles of files, making to harder to link to them or even recognize them in the File Chooser.
In the Content Finder or the Digital Asset Manager console, the files will still be displayed 'normally' as you would see them on your desktop, but in the magnifying glass finder tool, they are displayed as these bundles.
Unfortunately this is now considered 'normal behavior' for the UBCMS. We have asked Adobe to make it more consistent, but authors should expect to see the bundling behavior for any files that have a series of natural segments, such as PowerPoint presentations (with multiple slides) and Adobe Acrobat files (with multiple distinct pages).
One workaround is to look for the parent 'folder' that represents the entire bundle of files, and link to that.
But the best workaround is to look for your file in the Content Finder, where the filenames are shown as you would see them on your desktop, and then drag and drop the asset into a File Download component. (Please note that we recommend you only link to DAM assets using the File Download component -- see this Known Issue: Having Trouble Linking Downloadable Files in the DAM.)
Requests submitted by the online forms will be triaged quickly by the UBCMS Help Desk.
Expect UBCMS outages Wednesday mornings from 4:30 to 6:30 during routine updates.
Also, the footer links to documentation provided by our vendor, Adobe AEM. But please note that not all vendor instructions apply to our installation. Some features may not be available, as the UBCMS has been modified to suit the needs of our community.


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Sunday, January 19, 2014
Gates Tells All !
There is a similarity between Robert M. Gates, rushing to the publisher, and Edward Snowden, is there not?
Both were operating under an assumed level of secrecy and discretion, and both contravened that secrecy for what they both perceived as important reasons.
Posted by Montag at 5:42 AM
Labels: foreign policy, politics, secrecy
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Sel Gris is a hand-harvested salt from the Guérande region with an iconic crunchy texture and gray color.
- Flavor: Crunchy, Moist, Briny
- Usage: Finishing & Cooking
- Suggestions: Grilled and Braised Meats, Soups, Stews, Vegetables, Salads, Desserts
Ingredients: Sea Salt
4 oz.
All Natural | Gluten-Free | Vegan | Non-GMO | No Preservatives
Recipes & Product Features:


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Enquiry isn't a specialist activity. It is something we all do regularly – making a mental note of something that went well or how we could change things for next time. As easy as it seems to reflect on what we do day-to-day, the starting point for deliberate enquiry can be difficult. Key to engaging with research in a genuine, long-term way as a practitioner is to start with reflection – reflection on practice and reflection of practice.Reflective-practice is sometimes presented as the opposite to evidence based practice; the qualitative vs the quantitative. Quantitative research is held up as the best research can be, whether that's the EEF toolkit and trials or the What Work Clearinghouse measures. One argument for evidence based practice over reflective practice is that the latter risks pathologising the practitioner and finds fault with the teacher or student rather than the wider environment.
Action research (or at least the term) is gaining popularity and the close link between action research and reflective practice leads to arguments that they lacks value and relevance between settings. Cautious voices remind that quantitative studies don't necessarily provide the answers, as Dylan Wiliam says, "[In education] everything works somewhere and nothing works everywhere. The interesting question is 'under what conditions does this work?"
It's not realistic for everyone to be part of large-scale RCTs, particularly in settings that regularly don't fit selection criteria like small or special schools. This can feel isolating and make research engagement seem irrelevant. Reflective practice is one way to get going and can take many forms, from keeping a diary to working in pairs or triads or developing cyclical action research projects, so where do we start and how can we incorporate research into what we do?
The Project
It's frequently repeated that teachers don't have time to trawl through and decipher research so I decided to have a bit of an experiment with taking a single research paper and setting it out in a way that can be used in the classroom. This is a paper I have used myself on several occasions to provide a framework to identify an area of focus and use as a starting point for enquiry.
The suggestions of how to use the document I've created are just that, suggestions. It doesn't give instructions or solutions for practice and it doesn't use multiple sources of evidence – the intention is that once a focus is identified, more refined research can take place if necessary around that area.
Whether it's used for enquiry in the closed classroom or over a wider group; as a starting point for a whole school focus or simply to monitor the classroom over time, I hope it shows how research can be used in the classroom and it provides encouragement for more people to bring evidence into their practice.
So here it is in glorious pdf form. Let me know what you think.
A guide to 'Evaluating the Learning Environment' adapted from Ysseldyke, J. E. and Christenson, S. L. (1987) 'Evaluating students' instructional environments', Remedial and Special Education, 8(3), pp. 17–24.
I've had a couple of interesting conversations recently about the reliability of 'old' research and whether it has some sort of 'use by date'.
It is of course reasonable to be wary of over-relying on research that was published decades ago, and taking note of age when reviewing evidence is important, but it shouldn't be a case of dismissing something because it's been around for a long time if the points are still relevant. Fads come and go but that's perhaps even more reason to look back at older research – new ideas quite often aren't new at all. People use examples like 'Would you trust your doctor if they prescribed using leeches?' – maybe not for everything, but there are quite a few situations where leeches are still used in medicine today.
Should 'good' research be repeated to keep it fresh? Even if nothing new is being done? When this does happen, a quick look at the references and all the previous papers by the author/s are usually still there – of course there are likely to be a few changes but the general take-away messages remain the same and then the work is criticised for re-hashing the old stuff for the sake of it. We hear arguments that research needs to be repeated and ideas challenged as we learn more about how we can improve teaching but as soon as someone writes about a 'debunked' idea there are criticisms in the opposite direction.
For example, I've seen enough evidence from people I respect to believe that there is no mileage in the concept of individual learning styles but if those same people present evidence that has changed their minds (as solid as that would have to be) I would of course have to reconsider my own position. That's a provocative example of course but my point is there – we can't criticise research simply because it's testing something we think is long-disproved – we need to criticise the research itself.
As research increasingly finds its place in schools, with different staff at different levels of engagement, it's important to stress the need to develop critical evaluation skills. The role of research lead includes helping people to come at research from all angles – treading round popular ideas of the moment, being critical but not dismissive in the face personal bias. We need to be careful with new research that simply repeats itself rather than challenging ideas and be aware that not everyone has heard all the evidence around each theory – however much we think it's been discussed to death.
Those of us who have heard all the arguments to the point of fatigue need to make sure we use and develop our own critical eyes too and remember how easy it is to run about in the echo-chamber. As we focus on how we help our colleagues we can't forget to challenge ourselves. As long as we are aware that the age of a piece of research may limit its value to our work then we're a step ahead, but maybe it's more 'best before' than 'use by'. When it comes to it, we don't have access to everything we need to make a fully informed decision and we need to trust what experts say. If I'm honest, whilst it doesn't sound overly pleasant to be treated by leech I would have to trust that the doctor knew what they were on about, and that some older ideas have a place.


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A lovespeaks program is customized for its audience, atmosphere and experience level. One-on-one and group formats are available. lovespeaks topics include:
Accept Invitations From Your Mother
It's so easy for us to say no to our mother's invitations. Especially when we were kids, but even now, we come up with an excuse because we are too busy or we don't want to be pulled away from Netflix – and we know our mothers will still love us. But what if saying no blocks us from an opportunity? What if we said YES?
When I was 14 years old, I said YES to my mother when she invited me to the filming of a television show. I could have said NO. I could have said "I've got field hockey practice or too much homework." But I didn't. I said YES – and that YES changed the trajectory of my life – proving not only that mothers really DO Know What's Best, but also that their invitations can be game changers.
My mother's invitation allowed me to SEE my career. As I sat in the studio audience at that TV show, I spotted a girl on the set with a clip board. I didn't know what she did, but she was a woman, she was wearing a headset which made her automatically cool, she was holding a clipboard, which made her official, and she looked really busy. I had no idea what she was doing, but I knew in that instant I would do it one day too.
Ten years later, when I landed my job with Oprah I began to feel the power of my mother's invitation. 30 years later – when I landed a quote in the SMITHSONIAN the power of my mother's invitation became next level. Next time your mother invites you to something, and I mean anything, consider my story – say YES, and let it be the start of how you tell yours.
The Unexpected Speaker: A Simple Strategy to Step-Up Your Speaking Game
Having entertained over a half of a million people from the Oprah stage and another 20,000 from my lovespeaks platform, I know how to capture an audience's attention. It's quite simple. Be unexpected. I share my insider secrets on how to engage an audience in unexpected ways and go straight to the heart of what works best. Like getting to know your audience before you speak, including your audience in your speech by using LIVE content, leaving the podium and joining the audience, welcoming distractions and watching the magic unfold. A speaker once told me a speaker's job is to make the audience want to take them home. The unexpected speaker always leaves the audience wanting more.
Love Your Story Like It's Your Job
We all have a story. Some of us tell our story really well. Some of us don't tell it at all. And some of us could use a little help. Whatever category you fall into, you deserve to love your story, own your story and speak your story. Whether you are sharing your story with an audience of 1, 100, or 100,000 your story matters and you should never underestimate the impact your story has on someone else. When we share our stories, not only do we connect with others, and the people who came before us, we also become better speakers and storytellers, which is the purpose of this book. Speaking is like everything we do, it's a practice. Just like yoga, meditation, prayer, reading, knitting, or golf – you fill in the blank for whatever it is you enjoy and consistently work at to get better. The more we speak, the more skilled we are at speaking, and since I have been at this practice for 35 years, I offer my stories and life lessons to help you love your story. There is scientific proof that storytelling makes us better humans, so love your story and be a better human!
Fear Has No Access When You're In Your Purpose
The #1 fear people have is speaking in public. It's the only fear I don't have. I'm scared of everything else – planes, boats, bridges, tunnels, open water, getting lost while driving and self-park parking lots to name a few. The only time I am fear free is when I am speaking in front of an audience. We all have our fears, but what I have found is that when we are in our purpose we are free of fear. I was hired to speak on a plane and it was the first time I wasn't in the fetal position on take-off. Whenever I fly I write which centers me and reminds me of my purpose. What is your purpose? Define it and use it whenever you are doing something you fear, like speaking, and discover a powerful side of you that nothing can sabotage.
Careers That Make Sense
When our senses come alive, we immediately know we are exactly where we are supposed to be. As I sat in the studio audience of The Mike Douglas Show, something magical happened and I felt it through my senses. I loved the smell of the studio, the clicking sounds of the lights, the feel of the camaraderie of the crew, the taste of the excitement and seeing all the action. I quickly learned that when an environment sucks you in and pleases all 5 of your senses, to make a career out of it. Our 5 senses are the 5 main tools we have to perceive the world, and research says that smell is closely linked to our memory. By the time I had set my sights on "what I wanted to be when I grew up" I must have relied on my sense of smell to direct me because I kept finding myself in TV studios. Lucky for me, my senses led me to work for a show that would not only change my life, but also change the world. When your career pleases your senses, your career will always make sense.
Stage Your Reinvention
Each decade seems to bring a new twist to our story. We hardly have time to settle in to what we are doing when another decade arrives and suddenly we have to shift gears. In my fifth decade, I found myself no longer working for Oprah. It wasn't really the reinvention I was looking for but honestly, are we ever looking for reinvention? I think reinvention is looking for us more than we are looking for it. The question is, when reinvention comes knocking on your door, are we going to let it in and welcome it and say "Let's do this!" Or are we going to close the door and bury our reinvention a little longer? I couldn't bury mine because the knocking literally came to my door. It was my last day at Harpo. I was packed up and standing alone in my office when a construction crew entered my office, the office that had once housed my team of 8 talented people, a team who became known as one of the best in the business, a team that was my family. The crew started to remove their cubicles one by one, making it ready for whoever would sit there next. That was the moment when I knew my reinvention was REAL. Tears filled my eyes, and suddenly the coolest thing happened, something Oprah had taught me and millions of others, a feeling of gratitude came over me. I was so grateful for every moment I had ever experienced in that building and the construction crew, because that crew was the only way I could exit a door I thought I could never leave. I can't wait to help you use your talents in a new and modern way.
lovespeaks BRAND TENETS
Dedicated Brand Ambassador
For nearly three decades, I dedicated my talent for connection and inclusiveness to one of the globe's strongest brands, The Oprah Winfrey Show. As the Audience Producer, I was the first impression attendees had at the show. I consistently connected guests with the Oprah brand. Drawing guests out, connecting their personal stories to the show topic and managing their overall experience ensured that audience members left the studio more dedicated to the brand.
With the launch of lovespeaks, it is my intention to create the same sense of allegiance, pride and excitement among your brand's external and internal clients that I helped create at The Oprah Winfrey Show.
A lovespeaks discourse is rooted in the concepts of connection, enthusiasm, gratitude and inclusion. I strive to inspire my audiences to reconnect with their innate talents while also appreciating the people who surround them. I then connect that palpable enthusiasm–that fire–with the brands that they engage with and represent every day.
Champion of Women
It's human nature to label ourselves. We're stay-at-home or working moms. We're wives or married to the job. We're executives, entrepreneurs or employees. But then it happens. Life shifts and your self-description needs to shift with it. Are you ready to rise to the occasion or are you content to use the past to define the present?
At lovespeaks, I shape my speaking engagements with the needs of the multi-faceted, ever-evolving, modern woman in mind. I want to inspire women to transcend the labels and to design a life that meets their own hopes and expectations. At lovespeaks, I endeavor to empower women to position their lives and speak their talents in a manner that makes them proud, connects with what brings them joy and is rooted in their own authenticity.
Professional Connector
I would like to describe myself as a "professional connector." The common interpretation of a "connector" is one with a wide social and professional network. A connector traditionally links person A to person B in the hope that they will both benefit from the introduction. And, yes, I do that. I create connection. The difference is that I help introduce you to YOU.
The goal of every lovespeaks engagement is to foster a moment in time when members of the audience connect with the very root of what brings them joy. That root will nourish you, it will keep you grounded and it will help you grow. I help connect people with that purest joy and then inspire them to design their personal and professional lives around what they love.
Celebrator of The Journey
During a lovespeaks engagement, we talk a lot about you and authenticity and designing a life that you love. That said, your joyful life is still a journey, and like every journey, there are bumps in the road. I encourage people to embrace the journey, no matter how hard it is. The reward is always worth the work.
A lovespeaks engagement is about laughter and lightness. I like to focus on themes like listening to the whispers of destiny, and always following your truth. But I also believe, with equal weight, in the power of what goes wrong. Like the time I introduced Kenny Rogers as Kenny Loggins in front of a live audience. Yes it was embarrassing. It was also awesome because it was part of my journey.