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"Time goes by so quickly!"
Early on in the parenting journey I was told this as a warning, by those further down the path of life. They were right, the years have been a literal blink. This past month I celebrated five years of motherhood. Who I was before parenthood is a blurry and distant memory. Time, is a sweet, precious and never stopping gift.
During my five years of parenting, I have had the honor of mothering 13 little ones. Some for a matter of days and others, as you know, for forever. 2018 brought our forever family count up by two more, we welcomed Henry in May and Olive in November. Any given day our family count is anywhere from 5-7 kids, it just depends on the day of the week and who is visiting.
I have had the honor of being in contact with many of my former little ones, some of them have reunited with birth families while others have found new forever homes through adoption. At times our home fills a bit like a revolving door, most of the time they come back. My crew of five embraces every person who walks through the door no matter their age, their story or for how long they will stay. They teach me how to love.
If I have learned one thing these past five years, it is that love is costly. Each little one that enters my home gets a piece of my heart. I welcome them, placing it gently in their sticky little hands and send them on their way. Love, is a renewable resource, it's one of the amazing things about it. As much of my heart as I have handed out, there always seems to be enough and some.
More love. More room. More joy. That is what this world needs.
My story of fostering is slowing down, we have room for one more (based on our state's regulations). We are waiting. As I think about the expansion of our family, I am filled with a mixture of excitement and fear. Excitement for who this little person is and fear for the potential aches and the pain that goes along with parenting, foster care and all the unknowns. I found myself wanting to shy away a bit, slower to move, slower to say yes.
These past five years have not been without grief, ache and pain. Some moments if given the choice I would probably choose to do without. I have said goodbye far more often than I would like. Lost more than I could handle. Yet, even in the midst of those hard moments, the one thing that kept me going was love, for every goodbye, a hello. For every dark night, a dawn. It's always been there, waiting to surprise me.
My Joyful Broken Heart truly sums it up. My heart is much heavier today than it was five years ago. The ache is real and even with the finality of forever and adoption it does not go away. Moments forever rippling out, leading me to beauty.
Cheers to five years of motherhood, may my next five have fewer diapers.
Saturday, June 22, 2019
Sunday, November 25, 2018
Number 5
|All of these beautiful pictures are done by my friend, Melissa Pennington Photography.
As a foster parent I am prepared for the losses, it is the gains that take me by surprise. They are a sweet gift that sometimes I feel unworthy of. Last weekend I welcomed forever into my ever changing family, Olive Leonie, my beautiful baby girl, my forever number 5.
Adoption is always bittersweet, my heart feel divided on these days. My families overwhelming joy at the proclamation, we celebrate, dream and cherish the announcement of a new forever name. However, these days always come with a price tag. A hidden cost one that will show later as they get older and understand more of their story, my older children have fought much of that battle already, they were old enough to remember before. The two babies have only ever known me as Mama, I have the honor of bringing them home from the hospital. While I cherish these moments, I can not completely ignore the bitter reality that even with adoption there will always be a bitter element.
The reality and tragedy of brokenness, the loss and grief overpowered by the joy of redemption and security. The fact that birth mom is out there not knowing her children. Yet, I am woman that was chosen to raise her. I answered the call and gave my yes and that choice got us here today.
The morning of her adoption, as the sun crept into our room I watched her sleep. I studied the curve of her lips, the fullness of her perfect cheeks, features that seem so familiar to me now. For 11 months we have known each other, we have studied, learned and fallen in love. I know her cries and her laugh. She can pick me out of a room.
The judge pulled me aside to thank me, one less little person in the system. He was the judge who followed our entire case, he understood the cost. He heard the testimonies and read all about the choices made. There is a refreshing light-hearted joy in the courthouse on days like today. A day where balloons bounce, smiles are had and celebration is the rhythm of the day. For a moment the cycle of dysfunction is broken.
There is a moment for me it is when they announce their names, that I find a sigh of relief and a wave of freedom. As a foster parent, It is the moment when I can let down the guards and freely love my child. The fear is gone, she will not leave. No more medicine logs and incident reports, no more documentation and phone calls. I get her, just her, I get to know her, and watch her grow. I get to learn her likes and dislikes. I get to see what subjects she love in school and how tall she will be.
This is the moment everything changes. Her path has changed, the road she travels now so different from the one before. The weight of these days are felt, I carry them around forever, seeing the gift I have and aching over the loss she will one day feel.
Wednesday, October 10, 2018
Klepfer Party of 6!
"I got the order today!!!"
The order for termination of parental rights. The DHS worker called exactly one week after court. I was shocked, that was the fastest return of order I have experienced. Our family is growing and Baby Girl will officially be a Klepfer, this calendar year. She will just be shy of one year when her adoption will be complete, giving her a new name and a forever home. We will celebrate and cherish the sweet side of adoption.
Henry (who is almost two) and Baby Girl share a biological mother, their story is different from others in my home, I brought both of them home from the hospital. My older crew has memories, trauma and a relationship (old and new) with their birth mom. My youngest two, only knew their biological mother's womb, she faded quickly into silence weeks after they were born.
Charlotte asked me a couple of weeks ago if the babies would know they were adopted. Without hesitation, I exclaimed, "of course." I hadn't really thought about not telling them, I just figure that adoption is the very blueprint of our family, a reality we can't escape. A reality I don't want to forget.
I am thankful Baby Girl and Henry are together and share a commonality in their story. One day the bitter side of adoption will settle in and they will have to process the weight of it all, I am thankful they will have each other and their older siblings to help pave the path with understanding. They will have to process their value, the reality and they may even have to offer forgiveness.
After processing Charlotte's question, I decided what worked best for our family was to just keep adoption at the center of who we are. Not dwelling on the past or the bitter element but the precious gift this family is. We will continue celebrating our Gotcha Days each year, we will hang pictures and tell stories of how I met them and what my first thoughts were. I will tell them of all the things I know about where they come from. I will tell them about the day the call came and when I walked into the hospital to bring them home. I will tell them how scared I was but how that all went away when I laid eyes on them.
Early on in my foster care journey, adoption wasn't the plan. I honestly didn't believe I could do it. I didn't believe I was the best option for my crew. I was wrong. Adoption is intentional love pouring out, empowering others, granting them a new identity. Every adoption story has an element of tragedy. Adoption steps in and fills the void, it is the redemption of brokenness, neglect, orphanhood, addiction and abuse.
Adoption is the vehicle that brought us all together, the tool used to build our family. Adoption is the conduit of a special kind of love. A love not birthed but found, not inherited but given, not created but discovered. A love fought for, found and chosen.
I am humbled by our story, we got to grow into a family, one day at a time. I love that my crew was so patient with me as I grew into a mom. I love that I got to know them, watch them heal and blossom. I love that together we picked their new names, breaking the bondage of their past and giving them a vision for their future. I love that as we grow as a family that foster care becomes a family adventure, all of us making room to love those coming into our home.
Jody Landers beautifully sums up this bittersweet journey with this quote, "A child born to another woman calls me mommy, the magnitude of that tragedy and depth of that privilege are not lost on me." What a beautiful privilege it is to be their parent. The story that once was filled with sorrow, loss and grief is now a story of hope.
Wednesday, October 3, 2018
Some hard truths about foster care...
There are over 420,000 kids in the United States who are in foster care, that number is overwhelming and unacceptable to me. These kids find themselves sleeping in a stranger's home, in a facility and living out their days with little stability and lots of trauma. The need is great. Why so great? Because so few believe they have what it takes to be a foster parent. I believe we are scared to enter in, we have misunderstandings, we assume and we look the other way because it seems hard, messy and complicated. I have had the opportunity to speak to many families who are trying to figure out if foster care is the next step for them. I have had them over for dinner, met them for coffee and answered their questions, calming their fears. This post is comprised of realities I often cover in those meetings.
First thing I tell people is that the system is broken. Foster care is a necessity due to brokenness, when something is in existence due to a need, it can't ever be fully void of that initial need. The brokenness of addiction, neglect and abuse, has caused the state to get involved and that complicates everything. Foster care begins with a noble purpose, to rescue a child(ren) from a toxic or dangerous home. But then, from that point forward it's all about management, case plans, attempting to help parents get healthy, sober and stable enough to get their kids back. It is a long, drawn out process that is costly to all involved, the child(ren) carrying the biggest piece of the burden. In order to protect from burnout you have to find within yourself something to cling to besides the system and all the red tape. For me a combination of my faith and them, is what gets me through. I am here for them, to advocate, to love, to provide a safe space for regardless of how long. They are the reason I show up and do this. I simply tell people that you can not foster parent to fix or even change the system. You can't do it to just build a family, you can't do it for the money, you must do it for them. Them alone, letting every word, tear and trauma induced meltdown fuel you to press in.
The achy reality is that you are not their only parent, you are but a member of a herd of parents, biological and former foster, you are another step, stop or forever. You co-parent, to differing degrees with people who are addicts, who have harmed, forgotten and neglected these kiddos. Parents who are consumed by the cravings, their own hurt and selfishness seemingly unaware that the kiddos carry the brunt of the consequence of their choices. You partner with them, for doctor visits, back to school, visit pick up and drop offs, as you all work towards reunification. You interact based on your comfort level with bio-parents and that can include weekly updates, letters passed back and forth, shared baby well check ups and consent for hair cuts. In my state (and I would assume all states) the number one goal is reunification with biological parents or biological family, if parents can't provide safe care for the child. This is the goal from day one, until it is proven otherwise, by missed appointments, failed UAs and blown off visits. Reunification as the primary goal in all cases is hard, the pricetag is the kiddos to pay. This is the part of foster care that feels the messiest. We are wiping away the tears of missed visits, heavy hearts and little to no coping skills due to the lack of security and stability over the years.
Your house has an open door policy, monthly workers come to your home to see your child(ren), every other month support visits need to happen. Yearly you have an unannounced visit where they look in your cupboards, question your mountain of laundry and tell you where to store your things.You are are asked questions about income, backgrounds and preferences. You, your home and your family becomes an open book. They search and ensure that you are a safe home for these kiddos. Expecting your home to be clean, orderly and stable. The reality is that is the environment best for these kiddos to heal but at times, they are quick to judge the dishes in your sink and the fact that you forgot to lock up the medicine. You have to be open to that invasion, I have had plenty of weeks, depending on my caseload where 3 or more state workers are in your my home that week. My reality is I have nothing to hide and I have a very open home generally but at times it can feel like I'm under scrutiny.
Most choices are completely out of your hands. We are there to provide a safe space for these kiddos. Loving them and raising them as our own flesh and blood but when push comes to shove, we have little to no say in what actually happens. We are to advocate for them, we document, share and become their voice. Depending on the case and your worker, you may never feel heard, feeling as if your opinion is just that, an opinion. You buckle little loves into car seats week after week for painful, confusing and exhausting visits. Only to get them back hours later in a heap of tears and ache as you do your best to rally and make it through the rest of the night. You love these little ones, learning their favorites, kissing their owies, tucking them in night after night over months or even years and then in a moment you get a call and it changes everything, the cost of this reality is known. As foster parents we know what we are getting ourselves into, we step into their world knowing the cost. Knowing the cost vs. living the reality is so different. You underestimate how much you will fall for them, how hard you will fight for them, how many meltdowns and toxic thought processes you will walk them through. You fight for them and with them but at the end of the day, that is all we can do, until you say goodbye or the court report reads termination of parental rights and adoption can become the end of this story.
You don't always get the answer you need or want. Our workers are overworked, the demand, need and reality of the system is great. They often don't have the resources to get done what they need in a day, a week or a month. Sometimes, kiddos get dropped off and you have so little information on them, over months you gather where they have been and who they are. I have had children months and years before learning their middle names. Behaviors documented in reports are not always what you get. Being a foster parent is like doing a jigsaw puzzle with only the blank side of the pieces, its it's a lot of guessing and trying and occasionally you will get the piece to fit. The process is long. Two years is not uncommon especially for older kiddos. Those years are filled with visits, missed visits, disappointments, court hearings, little movement, question marks and no level of certainty. All of this happens as you are falling in love, fighting for resources and cleaning up after the storms of trauma.
Foster care is messy, hard and uncertain. There are bumps along the way and lots of heart crushing moments. This journey has changed me, I have learned a ton, my perspective has shifted and the very world looks different. When I started out on this journey 4 ½ years ago as a single woman, I underestimated how much it would bless my life. I have had the honor to mother 12 little people whether it be for days or forever. I have had the honor of adopting four incredible kids out of foster care and countless others I have seen reunited successfully to bio parents and sent forth to be adopted by bio family. It has not been easy and I have experienced some of the deepest aches of my life because of it. On the flipside I have seen and known a beauty and love so intense that all other fails in comparison. It is what makes my heart joyful and broken all at the same time.
Monday, September 17, 2018
Self Care
Self care, for me is that never ending chase. The reality of self care in my life is a double edge sword. I am a more balanced (less yelling, kinder words, more patience) Mama when I get time to refocus, but pulling that off feels impossible some weeks. Here are some ways as a single parent, I work self care into my daily life.
Adventure whether it is in our backyard or something completely brand new we love adventure. We load up, suit up, waiver up and find out the next new adventure. I am so thankful for brave kids who have conquered their fears to try new things.
Them they have the unique ability of being able to zap all of my everything, leaving nothing behind. Then somewhere along the day of baby snuggles, morning snuggles, middle of the night snuggles, hugs, kisses, pictures drawn and kind words said, my cup is overflowing. I love hanging out with them, knowing them, and being their Mama. They bring life to my soul and purpose to my days.
My Job
I am one of those fortunate souls that absolutely enjoys my job. My role for the last nine months has been Director of HR, my job absolutely hits all of my strengths, I so enjoy my daily to do life. Thriving where I spend a descent chunk of my day because I am working in my strengths and passions, allows me not to dread my work week or dropping my little ones off at daycare. My role with this company has changed right along side of my life, I was not a mom when I first started here as a barista a little of five years ago. We are a growing local business, with over 40 employees, three locations with an in house bakery, coffee shop and roasting facility we are always growing. This job allows me work life balance and brings life to my soul, it is my extrovert outlet and I am so thankful for this piece of self-care in my day to day.
Travel once a year, in the fall I get the chance to get away for a week. My kids get divided up between our community and this Mama heads to the mountains. This year, in just a month or so I am heading to beautiful North Carolina. This first picture was from my 2017 trip to Utah and the Grand Canyon. The second picture was from my 2016 trip to Oregon (a frequent stop). Seeing the world and changing my perspective is the best way I recharge. I like mountains because they remind me how small I am in the scheme of things.
Community we are all in different life stages but they have embraced me and loved me well. They are the friends who come for brunches, late night wine on the porch and for loud and messy family dinners. They bring activities for my kids, help me pull of gigantic adoption parties, show up to the courthouse, snuggle my neglected dogs and make me laugh. I am so beyond thankful for the tribe of humans who have surrounded us. Without them all I would be lost. There are so many more than what this picture can contain.
Food I love good food. After going vegan almost 10 years ago, I have learned and loved food so much more. I love food that is fresh and nourishing. I love to cook, after a long day, I put the baby gate up, turn on a podcast and start chopping. My spiritual practice is trying to ignore the little ones screaming at the gate, as if that cheap $10 gate was drawbridge equipped with a moat.
Hosting the greatest moment of fear as a new mom was realizing I was locked inside my house from about 6:30pm each night. My survival technique, as an extrovert, early on was to make food and open my home. If you build it, they will come. So several times a week, we host dinner parties, brunches, family dinners with a table full. We live life around our table and we share it openly. I host a Saturday morning brunch and my table is filled until well into the afternoon as we eat, sip on mimosas and talk about life.
Adventure whether it is in our backyard or something completely brand new we love adventure. We load up, suit up, waiver up and find out the next new adventure. I am so thankful for brave kids who have conquered their fears to try new things.
Renovate my space I don't talk about my house enough, I am beyond blessed, proud of and humbled by this space. One and half years ago we took over a 4 bedroom, built in 1900 home, filled to the brim with character and charm. This space has allowed us to double our family and entertain all our people. I learned early on that once the crew was all tucked into bed, I could do anything with a paintbrush and a podcast. I would work late into the evening painting and creating space. Most of my projects start about 8:30pm until 3am and I have the bad habit of starting three things at once, this picture shows, the tile I painted and in the background you will notice the carpet I tore up to reveal wood floors that needed refinished and a beautiful built in I am stripping.
Three projects I decided to start all in one night, I like the challenge.
Them they have the unique ability of being able to zap all of my everything, leaving nothing behind. Then somewhere along the day of baby snuggles, morning snuggles, middle of the night snuggles, hugs, kisses, pictures drawn and kind words said, my cup is overflowing. I love hanging out with them, knowing them, and being their Mama. They bring life to my soul and purpose to my days.
Also this hot tub... from our MI vacation we took in June. I drank all the beverages in this hot tub, just out of the frame, is literally all of my children watching me, but they could not touch me, for 30 mins. It was delightful.
Monday, September 10, 2018
Our Ecosystem
Two years ago I experienced a really painful break up. Recently, I have realized that a lot of fear crept into my heart with the end of that relationship. As an effort to fight my fear, I signed up for online dating. I have many friends who have met really great partners through online, my current day to day life has minimal viable male options, so online seems to at least make my pool a little larger.
I share with you a section of my online dating bio.
'...four and a half years ago I followed a call from God that radically changed my life, to pursue foster care as a single woman. I am the adoptive Mama of 4 awesome kids and foster Mama to 3, yes, that is 7 kids total. God told us to love orphans, widows and foreigners and I take that very seriously. Our dinner table is full with visitors of all backgrounds and realities. We are a packaged deal, quite a big one but we are also some of the coolest people on the planet.
I am a single mom, of seven through foster care and adoption. Finding a life partner is hard enough as it is, adding seven other humans into the mix feels impossible. I am upfront in saying that I need a man who can handle the package deal, I am looking for a husband and father. My days are full, time is limited and most days I have snot somewhere on my clothing.
Early in my journey of motherhood a well meaning relative made the comment, 'well you're certainly not making yourself more attractive to man by doing this.' I must (and did) say, I disagree, for the wrong men I may be less attractive but to the right man I am just right. I have gotten used to the reality that my story will always be a little a-typical, so I know that it may take me a little longer to find that life partner.
When I jumped into the foster care world over four years ago, I thought my singleness would limit me, as if my being one person instead a couple meant I had less to offer. What I once viewed as a handicap was actually a gift. Raising children exposed to trauma, in our case at the hands of men, means that we do life a little differently. Our daily life rotates around healing, we fight for it, seek it and ease into it.
My crew, needed a single mama, they needed some time to heal. They needed to be the main recipients of my energy and love. Choosing to be a single mother of traumatized children has a price tag, there are days where I just don't feel like I have enough to offer, where I am tired and depleted myself. I would be lying if I didn't say that my heart aches for a partner and I have a deep longing for my kids to experience a healthy father figure.
I truly believe our family will heal much faster when a man does enter our world but I am not interested in rushing or forcing that. There is a deep kind of pain that can only find healing when pressed a bit by circumstances. Deep healing that takes place over time, layer by layer. For now our healing is talking about our someday dad, discussing both the good and hard things about having a dad. Most days we cry about it because trauma runs deep and healing comes slow.
If I can be a little honest I am scared of him too. Scared for how it will affect our beautiful ecosystem and change our unique family. I worry that no one will ever love them as much as I do. I worry about the logistics of switching off single mom brain, allowing a co-parent to join us. I am afraid of getting hurt again. My step towards healing this season is stepping out and pressing the wound a bit.
My kids make me brave, I have watched these past 4+ years as they have pressed in and healed. So this is my act of pressing in, the vulnerability of writing these words in a effort to declare that I will not shy away from even this. Dating for our family means new healing but also change, it feels bittersweet to me.
Most days there is this very real part of me that thinks if I am going to pay a sitter then I am not going to risk that time on a bad date. Most days, if I got a sitter I would rather drink wine on a patio with my girlfriends, take a shower or just wander through Target.
There are days when I can't imagine one more person needing something from me. Days when it seems I have lost all communications skills. Days when the thought of change is overwhelming and the calendar seems so full. I am in no hurry to step out of single motherhood but I also don't want to be opposed to it.
These last 4+ years have made me better, my kids have changed me. They make me brave, fierce and more compassionate. They cause me to slow down, communicate better and stand taller. The silver strands that have popped up recently have been earned and my snot covered attire reflects my love. This calling has not halted my status change but enhanced it and each day we live is one day closer to finding healing and to meeting him.
Wednesday, September 5, 2018
The darkness.
Countless times I have had conversations with people, that the only reason they haven't done foster care is because they can't imagine letting kiddos go. Today I answered someone with a simple, "that is exactly what they deserve, someone who is aching to let them go." These kiddos have been viewed far too long as disposable. In four years as a mama, I have said seven different goodbyes to children I parented, and I hated every moment of it. Two of those five goodbyes were sending kiddos to loving relatives so their departure was far less achy but five of those goodbyes gutted me.
I used to be afraid of the dark, like sleep with the bathroom light on afraid. I hated the dark, the dark felt scary and lonely. I didn't like how it made me feel, as I grew older my fear lessened and my appreciation grew, I began to see the beauty of darkness, one of my favorite are the stars. I live outside of a large city so we have the gift of the stars, such unexplainable beauty exists in the skies that can only be seen in the contrast.
My journey of motherhood, has shown the reality of the beauty that dwells in the midst of darkness. My faith is my guiding force and in the midst of those painful moments, I have found a greater understanding of who God is. We are drawn towards light and it is easy to stay there, light is comfortable. Darkness can feel bad, there are so many unknowns and it is there in the dark that we lose a sense of control. In the dark we see hidden lights, the magic of glow sticks and it is the place where my heart lets go and the tears flow as the chaos of the day comes to an end.
So as gut wrenching those goodbyes are, in the days that follow them there is some kind of unexplainable beauty that happens. The gift of connection even for a moment changes our lives, so I delight in the hellos I get with my ever evolving crew and I love well until one form of goodbye changes our lives. I am no longer afraid of the dark, for I have found the beauty that exists there.
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Although changing daily, we are fast approaching the March Brexit date without an agreement with the European Commission. One thing that remains clear however, is that a pro-active approach to strategic contingency planning is the best way to prepare your business. This approach will place businesses in the best position to take advantage of opportunities in new domestic and overseas markets. In this blog I will look at the key areas I believe are vital to take into consideration to ensure continuity and success for your business.
Get an EORI number
If the UK leaves the EU without a deal, you will need an EORI (Economic Operator Registration and Identification) number to be able to import or export goods to, or from, the EU. This will come into force from 11pm GMT on 29 March 2019. It makes sense to apply for an EORI number now. If you trade internationally you will already have one. For more information and to apply, visit the Government guidance here.
Achieve AEO accreditation
A widespread lack of AEO accreditation (Authorised Economic Operator) across Scotland's businesses could result in a dramatic reduction in exports to Europe. As a former AEO specialist with HMRC, I would urge companies trading with the EU to address the AEO issue as soon as possible, and develop a plan to ensure they can undertake 'frictionless' post-Brexit exporting.
AEO status endows a business with a 'Trusted Trader' badge, which is expected to provide a fast track customs process in a post-Brexit EU. The AEO status will help provide frictionless trade with the EU, and will be the benchmark for compliance with customs systems, controls and financial solvency. Exporting without AEO status is likely to become increasingly onerous, costly and unattractive, with the risk that many of Scotland's businesses will find exports less attractive.
AEO status currently confers fast-tracking of goods at border customs. It can also help reduce costs and delays, with AEO accredited companies likely to enjoy priority treatment. We are concerned at the low awareness of AEO in Scotland, and that application levels for AEO status are negligible. Companies need to start the process now, as there will soon be a bottleneck of applications and delays for a process that currently can take up to a year to complete. AEO authorisation embraces customs simplifications, security and safety or a combination of both, and companies can choose which level is most suitable. Businesses must meet strict criteria set down by HMRC, who require several days on company premises to review procedures and personnel.
In Germany, in 2017 over 6000 companies had AEO accreditation, but in the UK the figure was just 600. We have a long way to go and Scotland's businesses need a great deal of support from the business community to ensure they become AEO-compliant as soon as possible.
Take advantage of subsidised training
The UK government have released new funding to help businesses prepare for the processes needed to export. HMRC is making up to £8m available to help businesses already involved or intending to become involved in import or export customs declarations. The grants are available on a first come first served basis, with £2m allocated for Staff Training and £3m for IT improvements. Businesses could be entitled to up to 70% towards training on Customs compliance including declarations, clearance procedures and Customs regimes such as warehousing and inward processing, all of which are eligible under the grant scheme. The IT grants are up to a maximum of nearly £180k to help create "ready-made" IT solutions that will help make customs declarations more efficient. Applications will close on 5 April 2019, or earlier once all the funding is allocated, so I would encourage applying for the funds as soon as possible. For more information and to apply, visit the Government guidance here.
What else can you do?
There are many other things that can be done now in order to prepare for Brexit. Key areas that should be reviewed and invested in now include:
- Supply chain analysis
- Customs data tidy-up (in-house systems and controls)
- Customs regimes such as inward/outward processing and Customs warehousing
- Currency risk level
- Contract reviews
- Impact of limited availability of labour from EU
At Campbell Dallas we can support with contingency planning and cost-benefit analysis, including calculation of potential new duty liabilities and assisting with improving all areas of Customs and trade to reduce exposure; helping put in place efficient customs facilitation with the correct level of competence.
Uncertainty is high, specifically for the SME market and we believe that businesses who engage in Brexit planning and future scenario business planning will be better equipped to deal with the new frameworks, regardless of the Brexit outcome.
If you want to discuss any of the points raised in this blog please get in touch with me here, or:
Veronica Donnelly
0141 886 6644
The information in this blog should not be regarded as financial advice. This is based on our understanding in January 2019. Laws and tax rules may change in the future.
Campbell Dallas are not responsible for content contained on 3rd party websites.

subset: commoncrawl


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We always look forward to this collection of erotic stories; they are adventurous, well-written, and sure to get our pulse racing. This year is no exception. You'll find everything from voyeurism to threesomes. This is not a collection for someone looking for romance and flowers; the stories can be quite direct and very explicit with casual sex with strangers mixing with long-term couples spicing things up with a bit of public sex or a new playmate.
216 pages. Edited by Violet Blue.


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Yeah, let's walk! Walking is an amazing way of clearing your head, moving your body, being on fresh air and at the same time to actually see what's really interesting when visiting new places – the real lif
When you look at the map and see a little dot in the Mediterranean Sea, south of Sicily, east of Tunisia and north of Libya – that's it! That's Malta.
Nature has taken away what it once created. The beautiful Azure Window in Gozo, Malta is gone! The 28m tall limestone arch located in Dwejra Bay was one of Malta's main tourist attractions.


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On August 7th, we celebrate The Battle of Boyaca.
It never ceases to amaze me how people around the world don't know about their own country's history. I taught English in Medellin for 4 years to advanced level students at a private language school downtown. Most of my students were university students and young professionals. Yet whenever I asked them why we had a day off they never seemed to know, nor really care.
Monday, August 7th is a national holiday. On the days leading up to this holiday, I have questioned my paisa friends about it. Most knew that the holiday was in commemoration of the battle of Boyaca, however, almost none of them could tell me anything about the battle or the Colombian revolutionary war. So I did some research and found that it is a pretty cool story.
What is the Battle of Boyacá?
On August 7th, 1819 Colombian patriot forces faced Spanish royal forces in a two-hour long battle resulting in a decisive Republican victory leading to Colombia's, Venezuela's, Peru's, Ecuador's, and Bolivia's independence.
The Spanish had the objective of moving forward into Santa Fe to take it over and establish the Royal command. Simon Bolivar's army was to hinder this plan at all costs.
Liberating troops were comprised of 2,850 soldiers, who were criollos, mulatos, mestizos, zambos, natives, afro-colombians, and British Legion soldiers. These troops were led by "The Liberator" Simon Bolivar. FYI, Simon Bolivar was a grade A badass. If you don't know anything about him, look him up.
The Spanish vanguard was made up of 2,670 Spanish soldiers and Venezuelan/Colombian loyalists.
The battle occurred 150 km from Bogotá in the Andes Mountains, in a place known as Casa de Teja, close to a bridge over the Teatinos River and 3 roads heading to Samaca, Motavita and Tunja, an area which is now part of the Boyacá Department.
The battle was hard fought by both sides, be that as it may, the patriot army had a leg up. The liberating army had unity and fast communication, whereas Spanish troops were incommunicado due to the Teatinos River separating them from the their base camp.
On the end Spanish Colonel José María Barreiro could not handle the quickness with which the patriot army surrounded his troops and was forced to surrender. He was quoted as describing the patriot army "like a ring of fire." Colombian Colonel Francisco José de Paula Santander y Omaña was hailed "The Hero of Boyacá."
The Royalist army suffered over 100 casualties, 150 injured, and 1,600 captured.
The Patriot army lost 13 and 53 were injured.
The Battle of Boyaca marked the end of a 77-day Liberation campaign. Nueva Granada (now Colombia) was established and new battles were to be faced across the following decades.
My friend Sergio pointed out, via Facebook, that this bridge is actually a replica, not the original. Thanks, Sergio!
Boyaca Street in Downtown Medellin
When I was living in Downtown Medellin I noticed that one of the streets was called Calle Boyaca. Naturally, I assumed it was in homage to the famous battle. Thanks to an article that came out last year I now understand that this street was not named in honor of the great battle of Boyaca.
Instead, this street was already named Boyaca before the battle even happened. According to the architect and member of the Academia Antioqueña de Historia, Rafael Ortiz Arango, the street was a hub for the elite back in the early 1800's.
Battle of Boyaca Holiday in Medellin
This year, the Battle of Boyaca holiday lands on a Tuesday. The day is a national holiday, therefore, most people will have the day off work.
The Feria de las Flores overshadows this holiday. Many people, especially tourists, will be attending events. As for the majority of Medellin locals, many take the whole weekend off and go out of town to visit family in surrounding pueblos. Most Paisas that I've met say that they just relax with family at home.
What to do?
Visit Pueblos – I personally love going to check out pueblos that are an hour or two away from Medellin.
For example, Santa Fe De Antioquia (google map) is a town north-east of Medellin, about an hour and a half away. It's a hot weather town (hotter than Medellin), so there are nice hacienda-style hotels, with pools and restaurants. Santa Fe De Antioquia use to be the capital of Antioquia, so it's full of history. Furthermore, the town has conserved the colonial-style architecture, which is pretty cool.
Go to Shopping Malls – Although many people have the day off, most stores in the malls will be open.
I personally like the Santafe Mall and the new Viva Envigado Mall. It's fun to go with friends to eat lunch, people watch, maybe catch a movie, shop, and people watch.
Wear your Colombian soccer jersey – If you don't have one, go get one! I don't care if you don't like soccer. If you love this country, show it by wearing the flag on your back.
FYI – You shouldn't be paying more than $40,000 or $50,000 for a good replica. If you go downtown to El Hueco (google map) you can get replicas as cheap as $20,000. An original may cost you upwards of $190,000 pesos.
A Proud Patriot
Unfortunately, Colombia's history is plagued by war. To this day internal conflicts persist. I believe that if we educate ourselves we will learn from our past mistakes. Despite our violent past, I am proud to be Colombian; every day I hoist our beautiful yellow, blue and red flag outside my office.
Make Comments and Suggestions Below
If you have any insight on parades or festival in Medellin or the surrounding area, I'd love to include them. Please leave a comment below.
About the writer – Andrew Macia
Hello, my name is Andrew Macia and I am the founder of the Medellin Buzz. I am an advanced level English teacher, and I also run a digital marketing company here in Medellin.
I love Colombian, and Medellin has been my home since 2010. I like to write and I want to give back to the community. This is the best way I know how. I hope you enjoy my blog!
About the Medellin Buzz
I started the Medellin Buzz as a resource for my English as a foreign language students. A site where they could read about their city in English, that wasn't boring. It slowly turned into a personal blog and hub for information for people discovering Medellin. I check comments frequently, so feel free to leave your comment and/or questions below.


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"You get what you get, now don't throw a fit"-Ancient kindergarten teacher proverb.
I am constantly amused when people attend a Farrelly Brothers film and are SHOCKED to find out that it is filled with bathroom humor and precious little in the way of plot. What do you expect people? When you go to a Farrelly Brothers film, you know exactly what you are going to get.
Peter and Bobby Farrelly carved out a new niche for comedy in 1998 when they released Something About Mary. The film's raunchy humor was dubbed "gross-out humor", and though they have replicated the formula many times, they have never really duplicated the level of success they had with that first film.
It's doubtful that this will be the film to do that, though it is a nice departure from their usual fare. Don't worry, you'll still find male protagonists suffering from man-child syndrome, plenty of tits, dirty jokes, poop humor, and the like. Not that I'm complaining. I'd be disappointed if those things were missing.
Continue Reading →


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Egypt, missing the spark of Mohamed Salah but proving resolute at the back, conceded a late goal to slump to a bitter 1-0 loss to Uruguay in their World Cup opening game in the Russian city of Yekaterinburg on Friday.
The Pharaohs defended doggedly but were undone by a 90th-minute header from defender Jose Gimenez, who rose between a couple of defenders to send a bullet header into the back of the net at the death.
Egypt survived three clear-cut chances, with some inspired goalkeeping from Mohamed El-Shennawi, a novice guardian who surprisingly started instead of 45-year-old Essam El-Hadary to make his competitive debut, denying Uruguay marksman Luis Suarez more than once.
The Barcelona forward hit the side netting with the goal at his mercy in the first half after a loose ball fell into his path on the left side of the area before having a close-range shot denied by El-Shennawi after the break.
The Ahly keeper also dived at his feet to thwart him in a one-on-one situation with 17 minutes remaining and pulled off another great save to claw away a rasping shot from Edinson Cavani, earning the man of the match award.
Despite their defeat, Egypt can take positives from a solid and organized display at the back.
However, they will desperately need Salah, who was kept on the bench having just recovered from a shoulder injury, in their next Group A clash against hosts Russia on Tuesday if they are to keep alive their chances of advancing to the next round on their first World Cup appearance since 1990.
Russia top the group with three points, ahead of Uruguay on goal difference after hammering Saudi Arabia 5-0 on Thursday… see more
source: http://english.ahram.org.eg
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Story of flight. (2013). In Q-files Encyclopedia, Technology, Aircraft. Retrieved from
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Technology, Aircraft, s.v. "Story of flight," accessed July 4, 2020.
Story of flight
The first successful flight of the Wright Flyer The first manned flight took place in 1783 in a hot-air balloon. It took another 120 years before the Wright brothers made the first controlled, powered flight in an aeroplane. After this, aviation technology made rapid advances. In the 1920s, the first passenger airlines were formed, enabling people to travel quickly all over the world. Since the end of World War II, and the invention of jet aircraft, millions of people travel long distances each year by jet airliner.
The first craft to fly humans above the Earth's surface were kites. In AD 550, enemies of the Chinese prince Yuan Huangtou tied him to a large kite and flew it from a tower. Possibly, he was the first person ever to fly.
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Demeter is a Spiritual Teacher, Ignite Your Spirit Therapist, Psychic and Spiritual Reflexologist. She is a gifted intuitive, clairvoyant and combines her strong connection to Shakti Durga and highly developed psychic ability to bring through new insight and lasting healing.
Demeter has been a practising IYS therapist for over 10 years and brings forth understanding, compassion, nurturing and Inner Child healing. These qualities effectively dissolve long endured core wounds, resulting in a healthy relationship with the self and true empowerment.
Demeter has been working as a Nurse in the Aged Care Industry for the past 25 years and is a specialist in helping people transition from this life with peace, dignity and grace.


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Landscape as a Living System
Landscape as a living system
By radically rethinking the way we read (analyzing) and write (planning) the landscapes that surround us, the research and work of the CfGC in this area is based on a redefinition of the nature of the landscape itself and the role that communication can have in relation to it. Beyond an aesthetic/perceptive type of approach, which identifies the landscape as a mere support to human activities, the generative communication paradigm interprets landscape as a living system: a union of natural environments, anthropic activities, infrastructures, networks of relationships and social conflicts, history, and traditions, that lives and feeds on interactions between its various parts–interactions which are in continuous transformation.
A complex resource of incalculable possibilities
This means that communication is the project and, at the same time, the product of what we call "landscape." It is both the cause and the effect. Generative communication identifies the elements which make up this system and the fabric that characterizes it, recognizes in it the declared and undeclared, conscious and unconscious aims, and is able to direct energies toward that which is believed to be most suitable for the target objectives.
The conviction at the base of the CfGC's interventions is the relationship between man and nature: the convergence of physical, man-made, biological, ethnic, historic, and geographic characteristics that give life to a landscape (industrial, agricultural, urban, etc.). This relationship is a complex resource and, as such, it offers possibilities that are practically incalculable and unpredictable so long as it's possible to operate on the web of active connections or on those still to be discovered or created. This is the DNA of every present and future landscape.
The Earth is a complex physical-biological-anthropological whole in which life is an emergence of the history of terrestrial life. The relation/relationship of man with nature cannot be conceived in a reductionist or disjointed way.
Edgar Morin
Good communication for weaving unknown fabric from distant resource
Among the various available dimensions, in CfGC projects it is the ignored potential dimension that is most often incredibly rich in resources. By connecting what previously seemed distant, places that weren't even imaginable are opened up to creativity, offering temporary dimensions that could not even have been intuited: in-between terrain to be explored, planned, and built. The new frontiers of our times are not in front of us, but amongst us.
We should seek these new, unknown and still-to-be-created webs of connections–which are wonderfully generative of resources–in the landscape of the future. The theory of complexity is confirmed. And this is the case not only for subjects that make up an already defined landscape that is recognized for what it is, but also for relations amongst various landscapes.
The CfGC approach to
"Landscape as a Living System"
Complex landscapes
Landscape, defined as "an area, as perceived by people, whose character is the result of the action and interaction of natural and/or human factors" (Council of Europe, 2000), is one of the privileged settings in which the relationship between man and nature is expressed; in other words, between the natural and the artificial.
Nature very rarely operates in static compartments and humans with their activities are no different. As Morin explained, the relationship between man and nature cannot be addressed through a specialistic approach or fragmented knowledge but through general theories; also in General System Theory, Von Bertalanffy (1968) states we need transdisciplinary theories that embrace the true complexity of the phenomena with which we measure ourselves on a daily basis.
The ecological approach considers Man and all his activities as an integral part of environmental dynamics, recognizing landscape as a "complex system of ecosystems." In other words, it's that in which man finds himself immersed. This is not a small step, considering that for almost all of the 20th century landscape was considered something outside, detached from man, with a tendency to divide, separate, and fragment environments which, if put into a system together, could reinforce each other.
Landscape as a living system
Instead, for the CfGC, nature and culture (physical landscape and cultural landscape) are the matrix from which different landscape-systems evolve. They are, in turn, formed of interacting elements that constantly exchange information and communicate with the external environment.
From this perspective, the most recent studies in ecology recognize landscape as a living system in which anthropic activities and natural elements find stability in continuous interaction and, above all, in constant evolution. Similar to other organisms, landscapes increase their resiliency and ability for self-regulation as the resources available to the system increase, whether they're industrial or manufacturing, agricultural or cultural activities or natural phenomena. In other words, landscapes become stronger when they have greater resources.
Good communication for landscape health
Therefore landscape, as a living system, distances itself from the idea of scenery or as a support for human activities and becomes an active socio-economic and cultural subject. It transforms and must constantly transform itself, creating new links among subjects that have never worked together before and, at the same time, reforming and rewriting already existing collaborations.
To ensure good interconnections for the landscape-system and thus, lasting systemic stability, "good" communication can't help but go beyond the role that has been traditionally attributed to it–that of transmitting information via rigid one-way channels to pre-established targets–and concentrate on its reticular potential and ability to create systems.
From this point of view, generative communication plays a fundamental role, together with institutions, agencies, and associations, in planning and managing systemic interventions. Working together, they can write and also rewrite the landscape–be it urban, agricultural, human, cultural, etc.–to:
- identify new resources;
- work on networks of interconnections;
- support strategies for cross-sector development;
- favor the sharing of resources and interdisciplinary competencies;
- support technological transfer;
- promote the birth and strengthening of communities of interest and resources (i.e. community building) through mediation and conflict management among stakeholders.
Physical and symbolic dimensions: reading and writing landscapes
Even before considering the physical and geographic or social and economic factors of landscapes, they can be read (in other words, analyzed) through a series of human actions, stratified over time, that record the characters and symbols of the society and culture that have generated them in the geographic space. For a long time, in fact, Man adapted to the landscape, interacting with available resources and cultivating the biodiversity, reading the contexts and adding value to its traditional, inherent vocation (Genius Loci) in order to write or create new places to live and work (physical factor) and to find identity (symbolic factor).
Symbolic and physical landscapes are closely linked and result from the imagination of subjects and the social representations of a community. The progressive transformation of the landscape they stand upon is guided by these factors. However at the same time, the subject and community constantly adapt to their environment, they get their resources from it, they identify with it, they measure the quality of their life and the excellence of their productions by it and of which they are expressions. The symbolic factor continually composes the physical while the physical feeds and orients the symbolic. This is particularly evident in regions such as Tuscany where companies of excellence have known how to benefit from their context, firmly linking the quality of their products with the landscape image.
The skill of reading a landscape is, therefore, closely linked to a subject's skill in recognizing themselves as a social participant who belongs to a given community of interest and resources, in a given territorial reality that expresses a series of shared values. In this way, landscape becomes the result of collective writing and awareness, a social text based on people, things, and relationships.
From communication about a landscape to common-action in a landscape
"Good" communication–which generates new connections between ideas and things–is the ideal tool to highlight the deep relationships that link a landscape to human actions. Communication as an instrument that's rooted in awareness to read and write or rewrite a landscape, rather than a means to promote a territory or product. Communication within the landscape and how it was formed, instead of communication about it, can penetrate more deeply into the web of relations that make up its identity. It can also go beyond long-standing relations among the territory's resources and identify other potential ones, and instigate planning of new spatial configurations which are–first of all–cultural, economic and social. This is communication that contrasts the natural drift that typically occurs when we are unaware of our actions, on a small or large scale, and the degenerative processes they can trigger.
Writing or transformation of landscape inevitably occurs: people–whether they're growers or foresters or even industrialists, entrepreneurs or citizens–write and transform the landscape that surrounds them through myriad actions which, unfortunately, they're often unaware of.
In our case, we are speaking about communication as the sharing of a project, building together a new reality that responds better to the social, economic and cultural needs on the basis of a reading and shared vision of reality. Thus, innovation development results from the common-action of a group of people or community of interests, knowledge, practices or resources who agree on a landscape project (physical or cultural) and use communication to strengthen their vision and community. In this way, they generate and share knowledge, combine resources and expertise–that may seem scattered–to transform new technologies.


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Apples are a really tasty fruit that will have many uses depending on the time of the year. You can make a batch of apple cider and even make a dessert like apple crisps. Preserving apples may also be necessary when you have a lot you cannot use in a recipe. There are many ways for preserving … [Read more...]
Preserving Apples – How To Make Applesauce, Apple Leather, And Dried Apple Slices
How To Grow Apples Without Pesticides
Growing apples is a great way to have a fairly steady supply of fruit to have for food. Apples can also be used if you want to make your own apple cider. A large orchard is not needed as you can simply plant some trees in your backyard. You may also want to know how to grow apples without using any … [Read more...]
French Apple Jam Recipe
Do you have a lot of apples that have been picked from trees in your area? These will last for a while in your refrigerator, but should be used as soon as possible. This means finding ways to use apples in new and interesting ways. A great idea is to make a batch of french apple jam. The best … [Read more...]
Recipe: Raw Salted Caramel Apple Pie
Do you enjoy apple pie, but do not have any time to bake at home? Well, you are in luck as you have a no-bake recipe available to make a tasty pie to enjoy at home. A raw salted caramel apple pie is perfect for people who do not have an oven or do not like to bake. The best thing about raw salted … [Read more...]
All American Apple Pie Filling
What is the best way to use fresh apples that you harvest from your apple trees? Pie filling may come to mind if you like to bake in your kitchen. However, canning your apple pie filling will allow you to use it if you want to bake a pie during the winter. The apples that you use to make homemade … [Read more...]
How To Roll Apple Slices Into A Beautiful Rose Shape
These apple slices rolled into roses are so elegant! In fact, these rose apple slices look like they were prepared by a professional chef. Guess what? No professional training required, and you can prepare them at home too. Rolling apple slices into beautiful roses is quick, easy, and everyone will … [Read more...]
Quick And Easy Apple Cinnamon Rolls
One food or snack that many people love is cinnamon rolls. These are an item that can be made using various ingredients for a tasty result. One option is to add fruit like apples. You can easily make a simple batch of apple cinnamon rolls at home without too much effort. The traditional way to make … [Read more...]
How To Make Creamy Caramel In A Can
Caramel is a flavor that is used to flavor desserts and can be made into a candy. There are various ways to make caramel based on the option you want to use. However, there is an easy method you can use to make caramel at home. Caramel in a can is easy to make if you have the right materials. Most … [Read more...]
How To Turn An Apple Into An Edible Swan
Most people would not typically think of displaying fruit as art, but this is something that is fun to do. This is a great activity for people who often get in trouble for playing with their food. You can carve a swan from any type of apple that can then be consumed as a snack. The only thing you … [Read more...]
100+ Apple Recipes
Did you know that apples contain antioxidants? Antioxidants are compounds that are disease fighting and are beneficial for everyone to eat. Many scientists believe that the compounds found in apples can help prevent new damage and repair oxidation damage that happens to cells during normal activity. … [Read more...]


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What's Involved in Stopping War and Ecocide and the Necessary Mess of Transformation: Hard to Believe, But We're Getting Saner02/07/2013 15:01
By Michael Adzema
The Cycle of All Events, the Evolution of Parenting, and Auspicious Collective Regressions: Being Crazy in an Insane World Might Mean You're the Sane One
Chapter Nine: Regressions in the Service of Society — Messy Healing
There Is a Cycle to All Events … The Spiral Dance, Why We Can't Get No Satisfaction, and Where There Is Real Hope
The Spiral Dance – The Cycle of All Events: Wedded to Rebirthing Rituals, the Inevitability of Disappointment, and Where There is Real Hope .....Wedded to Rebirthing Rituals
At the point when the perinatal unconscious arises, individuals — and collectively, society — have the choice to turn toward the emergence of these feelings or to turn away from them.
In turning toward these feelings we embrace, feel, and if we go deeply enough into that, we relive the roots of them and resolve them finally.
In turning away from them we shun them, act them out, and are enslaved by them…thus we act unconsciously, trance-like, zombie-like.
If we face these inner forces—we call that feeling them…in this instance, feeling through or reliving one's birth—we integrate them and heal the underlying trauma, the perinatal trauma.
Or the individual and society can avoid this going within—as depicted in the peace symbol—and can choose instead to act them out, which is the peace symbol upside down—the Satan symbol, the pentagram.
In acting them out, one distracts oneself from the uncomfortable feelings, which though not focused on, are still there. One tries to be "strong" in the face of feelings but one is actually driven and directed by them—they "take over one's mind." This is the source of the idea of spirit possession and in general of the idea that a devil or Satan can take over one's soul.
So in running from our feelings we are captured and enslaved by them, we are forced to act them out in ways we would not otherwise choose which are negative to horrible but in all cases self-sabotaging. Of course war is the most horrible, most self-sabotaging, greatest, and most all-consuming form of such acting-out…the greatest struggle.
Humans are characterized by a particular kind of birth process. It is a coming into being that is traumatic and which is related to our distinction of standing upright and thereby decreasing the pelvic opening as well as suffocating the fetus prior to birth. The fact is that because of this "distinction" we are destined to go through periods of rebirthing purificatory rituals, whether for good or ill. [Footnote 1]
For we are psychologically wedded to reliving that which we could not fully experience at the time because of the overwhelming quality of pain associated with it.
A "Spiral Dance"
These rebirthing rituals we are doomed to repeat, one way or the other. We are going to act out this primal pain—this birth trauma—in an unending cycle of feelings having these components
- Periods of feelings of expansion
- Closedness or entrapment, guilt, and depression
- Aggression
- Release
In winning the "war" or having the success or achievement, there begins the same cycle of expansion followed by entrapment. Losing the war…the struggle, the battle…is akin to death, even if there is no death. There is numbness and repression…akin to a kind of "limbo"…before life can begin anew. A reconception is necessary.
The Pattern of Our First Nine Months Imprints Us For Our Entire Human Lives
The reemergence of hope in individuals and societies is biologically equivalent to conception. And following this reconceiving, there is a similar cycle of reemerging strength—akin to the expansion that follows winning. Then there is continuing depression or overarching gloom and helplessness feelings coupled with revenge feelings and blame as individuals and societies stew in the vessel of indecision, inaction, and doubt. This is quite like the closedness and guilt which follows achievement-success-victory. Note, however, that the revenge and blame feelings here are aspects of the BPM II matrix, just as is closedness and guilt.
Can't Get No Satisfaction
And then the cycle is the same again. Specifically, there is aggression against the oppressor (War and revolution both see the foe as an oppressor, even if one is actually the one who is the aggressor.) What follows upon fighting is release or "death"; and so on around. The "happily ever after" that inspires such battle truly only exists in fantasies and fairy tales. Prosperity and feelings of success are unfortunately doomed, on this physical plane of existence, to be short-lived.
Where There Is Real Hope
It would seem we are fated to never be happy, for long. But progress is possible; herein lies our only real choice in the entire scenario. For we either work through these cycles in some deep psychologically transformative way that helps us deal with and pass beyond the difficult and painful parts of the cycle as well as helps to fade the imprints' potency in determining our behavior or we are doomed to act them out in the external world in ways that we are blindly unaware are not congruent with the actual facts of our circumstances and are harmful to ourselves and others around us.
We are fated to experience these cycles of birth, and we will either act them out disastrously or we find ways of dealing with them inside of ourselves in some way—and some ways are better than others for doing this—so that we can have some inner distance from these patterns and therefore some conscious ability or choice around our actions when these pushes and pulls arise.
Railing Against the Darkness: The Vanity of Will, The Impotence of Reason, Progress Requires Regress, and Healing Is Nothing if Not Messy
Railing Against the Darkness, The Vanity of Will, The Impotence of Reason, and Social Progress Requires RegressionThe Vanity of Will, The Impotence of "Reason"
What we absolutely don't have, yet arrogantly think we do, is the ability—through will or reason alone—to choose light over darkness, to replace these inner veils of distortion with clarity of thought and perception and hence of positive behavior and actions while in the midst of them. Trying to reason with and to obtain truly desired outcomes is about as possible as trying to reason with a lizard and convince it to conform to one's wishes for its behavior. For good reason: Indeed our rational mind is as split off from the "reptilian brain" inside us within which these imprints circulate and from which they arise as are we from the consciousness of a gila monster.
What We Call "Reason" Is Largely Just Rationalization
This impotence of intellectual understanding in the face of these patterns of self-destruction occurs because these schemas are rooted in memories existing in an emotional and entirely dissociated part of the brain, which is hardly touched by neocortical admonishing of any kind. As deMause correctly points out,
[The fetus's] "early experiences have been found to be recorded in a separate early neural network—a dissociated emotional memory system centering in the amygdala, quite distinct from the declarative memory system centering in the hippocampus that is established in later childhood." [Footnote 2]
Disclaiming these cycles, which inevitably pass through darkness, and reliance on "will-power" to change one's patterns, which includes self-sabotage, has been exposed in its impotence in modern times. We see as evidence the growing acknowledgment of the ineffectiveness and, indeed, counter-effectiveness of psychoanalysis. [Footnote 3]
Railing Against the Darkness
So the question begging to be asked is "What do we do about it?" What do we do about these pernicious cycles?
And when these elements erupt in society in harmless, possibly healing ways, how do we view them? Do we, as Mayr and Boelderl do in their article, "The Pacifier Craze: Collective Regression in Europe," decry the regression…as if by disclaiming it we could somehow keep the cycle from happening? [Footnote 4]
Mayr and Boelderl write, for example, that the situation of collective regression in Europe "strikes us as being high-explosive [sic] and bitter enough." [Footnote 5]
In another place they exclaim, "What is horrible about this insight [about the increasing collective regression in Europe] is the additional observation that regression is becoming still more radical." [Footnote 6]
This response of railing against the "Darkness" is a Freudian response. Yet it is not even a neo-Freudian one, since regression in the service of the ego—which began to be seen as ever more important by neo-Freudians—is not acknowledged, let alone considered.
Social Progress Requires Regression
That regression in the service of the ego is not considered is confirmed by Mayr and Boelderl in their statement that "[R]egression by definition is a process of repression and a defense mechanism." [Footnote 7]
These are surprising words, in light of the concept of regression in the service of the ego and awareness of the clinically based evolution of psychotherapeutic theory since Freud's original postulations, over a half-century ago.
They are even more awry if one considers the universal, cross-cultural, implementation by societies of rebirthing rituals to handle the same kinds of forces we are confronted with. The anthropological literature is rife with these accounts.
Further, Grof has meticulously shown that regularly going into altered states of consciousness where one confronts this material is a prime function of cultures, and it occurs nearly universally although it is woefully lacking in Western culture for the most part.
Moreover, these words by Mayr and Boelderl indicate a conflict with or ignorance of the fact that deMause's theory of evolution of historical change requires regression on the part of parents, while parenting their children, as the primary "engine" of sociopsychological progress.
For deMause writes,
"[T]he ultimate source of all historical change is psychogenesis, the lawful change in childrearing modes occurring through generational pressure…. Psychogenesis depends upon the ability of parents and surrogates to regress to the psychic age of their children and work through the anxieties of that age better the second time than in their own childhood." (op. cit., 1982, p. 135, emphasis mine.)
But this mistake by these two social scientists would not be all that important if it was not the perfect example of the kind of uninformed attitude we have, generally speaking, in Western societies about these forces. This attitude is reinforced by a Judeo-Christian tradition of specialness and scapegoating in the West. It is a pervasive feeling about these things; specifically it, itself, is the actual defense. While this is a widespread reaction to our inner realities it is far from science, and even further from the truth or reality about these things.
"Stop It!" … Yeah, That's Gonna Work
At any rate, if we adopt this Western, Judeo-Christian, Freudian tactic of decrying the darkness, we are as effective in derailing the cycle of violence and war as Freudians are in what amounts to admonishing their clients to "stop it!" when it comes to their neurotic self-sabotaging.
For people cannot will themselves to merely stop their cycles of neurotic self-sabotage and self-destruction, which are the individual manifestations/ acting out of their birth traumas. As mentioned these directors of action operate out of a different part of the psyche, and brain, than one's conscious willing part. They are simply not accessible, so hardly amenable, to rational or willful input. And changing one's thoughts to affect them is about as helpful as rearranging the furniture on the deck of the Titanic.
Being Crazy in an Insane World Might Mean You're the Sane One: Auspicious Collective Regressions
People Who Have It All Figured Out Are the Ones to Watch Out For … Emotional "Sickness" Might Indicate More "Wellness"
Regression in the Service of the Ego
With the exposure of the ineffectiveness of the Freudian tactic of intellectual understanding has come the Freudian movement's disintegration into schools advocating various other strategies for change.
These schools/strategies include the psychiatric—the use of drugs; the neo-Freudians who acknowledge and use regression in the service of the ego and abreaction; the humanistic-existential approaches, stressing the "experiential"; and the Jungians and neo-Jungians, who would seek the resolution of these cycles in their inner archetypal acting out, resulting in an eventual rootedness of the ego in a higher Self (a spiritual center) beyond or transcending the cycles. [Footnote 8]
Other approaches include the bulk of the spiritual, new-age, or transpersonal means that are flourishing these days. These alternative paths basically differ from all others in their belief that one can simply bypass these perinatal pulls and pushes and go directly to the Light or the Self by dismissing the birth cycles, or the Darkness or Shadow, through affirming the Light, meditating the Darkness out or the Light in, changing one's thoughts, creating one's reality, and various combinations of these.
Finally, these newer schools and strategies for healing include those of what might be called experiential psychotherapy, which includes primal therapy, holotropic breathwork, some forms of (experiential) meditation
Vipassana meditation, for example), Reichian and bioenergetic approaches, some forms of hypnotherapy—experiential ones—ones that involve reliving traumas—and virtually all the techniques, treatments, and correctives that are espoused in the field of pre- and perinatal psychology.
The point is that from a good number of these other-than-Freudian perspectives—and all of those that acknowledge the importance of regression in the service of the ego—and from the perspective of the entire field of experiential psychotherapy, the answer to the cycles of violence, war, and death-rebirth is to stop the acting out, not by simply intellectually decrying it—as if one can actually talk oneself out of one's inner fears and one's Darkness/Shadow—but by reliving those cycles of violence at their origins…their primal roots. In the case of perinatal forces, those forces from "the dark side," this is accomplished by reliving the violence of birth, a perinatal trauma that is thoroughly and masterfully delineated by Grof and deMause. [Footnote 9]
Auspicious Collective Regressions
But from this perspective of experiential psychotherapy—one completely congruent with and grateful of deMause's contributions in psychohistory as well—regression, in Europe, or elsewhere, is not seen as something to decry, disclaim, be horrified of, or be seen as dangerous but is seen as an opportunity. Regression is certainly not seen as a form of defense but as the opposite of that. Regression is part of a process of diminishing one's defenses against one's internal reality of pain and trauma.
Thus, examples of blatant collective regression as in Europe—more so to the extent they are relived, released, and integrated—are entirely auspicious for the eventual elimination of war as a collective device of acting out—defending against—the painful feelings coming from one's personal history which one carries around, all unknowingly, and which pervade, in one way or another, in forms subtle and not so subtle, every moment of one's consciousness in the present.
From this experiential psychotherapeutic perspective, we have a different feeling about developments like those that Mayr and Boelderl describe as collective regression in Europe and Lawson describes as occurring at rock concerts. [Footnote 10]
From a more enlightened viewpoint these cultural phenomena should have us, if not dancing in the streets, at least hopeful of a gradual decrease in the use of war and violence. Why? It is because the youth who display this "regression" so blatantly were brought up by an "advanced" form of child-rearing than that of previous generations, that they have fewer defenses, fewer layers of obfuscation covering up their unconscious psychodynamics; consequently the regression is seen more clearly in their behavior. [Footnote 11]
Unflinching Belief Related to Total Dissociation
Why is this important? DeMause points out that people do go to war, and that prior to it their perinatal dynamics come to the fore, as evidenced by perinatal-laden words and images in the media and in leaders' speeches used to describe the situation and its dynamics. Thus, our leaders take us into war, they act out their perinatal dynamics…and we in following them act out ours…in such gruesomely overt ways because these dynamics are so hidden, repressed, and overlaid with defenses that the conscious mind has absolutely no access to, and hence insight into, them as being part of one's unconscious dynamics.
Consequently the conscious mind is completely able to convince itself that those dynamics are actual, real, and doubtless parts of the situation and therefore require an actual, real, and extreme response. The amount of resolve required to act out war can only be wrought of an unflinching belief in the rightness, the absolute correctness of one's perspective of the situation and therefore of that extreme course of response. And that can only be brought about by a total dissociation from one's perinatal traumas, and a complete and utter projection of it on the outside—the enemy, to be specific.
Blatant "Sickness" Related to Being Real
The contrary is also true: When there does not exist that total and complete dissociation of the perinatal trauma—when it is, as in Europe and rock concerts currently, closer to the surface, less defended against, less repressed and, hence, more blatant—it is more accessible to consciousness and less likely to be acted out in the extreme as in war. Instead it is more likely to be acted out in less extreme forms, such as jumping into mosh pits, carrying pacifiers, listening to baby tunes about the, very real, difficulties of being a baby, and so on.
Finally, it is more likely to be actually allowed to emerge in consciousness and be relived, and thereby "healed"…and gone beyond, to be replaced by something more benign and more socially constructive, and thus to be removed forever as a motivation to war or violence. This is the auspicious view of the developments described by Mayr and Boelderl. [Footnote 12]
Janov was the first to point out that a permanent resolution of underlying trauma initially entailed an aggravation of symptoms and symbolic acting out. That is to say, the underlying dynamics become more blatant and apparent in behavior. [Footnote 13]
Janov was also the first to note that the acting-out and overt neurotic was closer to being "real," and therefore really sane, than his or her highly functioning and "normal," but repressed, rigidly defended, and unfeeling neighbor. [Footnote 14]
The Most Evolved Parenting … Boomers and Millennials … and The Cyclical Nature of History: I Know It's Hard to Believe But We've Been Getting Saner
Thanks to You We're Getting Saner: The Most Evolved Parenting … Boomers and Millennials … and The Cyclical Nature of History
Evolution of Parenting – We've Been Getting Saner
Finally, the correctness of the view that being "crazy" in an insane world might be more sane has been borne out in recent history. DeMause describes an evolution of parenting from ancient times to the present which involved ever decreasing psychosis and violence and increasing caring and consciousness of the needs of children. He connects this decrease in violent child caring to ever decreasing violence and psychotic acting out in societies.
DeMause labels the most common modern parenting mode the socializing mode. Short of the quite recent helping mode—which only really rose to prominence in the last three decades—the socializing mode is the most advanced and most humane.
Lest there be any confusion, I wish to point out that my own theoretical understanding differs from deMause's in one important respect. While I agree with his evolution of child-rearing over the course of civilization and within recorded time, I believe he is wrong about prehistory and what primal peoples were like and the kind of child-caring they engaged in. He depicts prehistoric societies as psychotically oblivious of the needs of children, engaging in, first, infanticidal; then, second, abandoning; then, third, ambivalent modes of child-rearing. Whereas it seems to me the overwhelming evidence and increasing numbers of anthropologists point to a natural "organic" child-caring being employed in the the mists of the past quite a bit more "advanced" than even many modes employed today.
I believe the change from the loving parenting we see in many primal peoples and in Nature among many of our planetmates to the infanticidal, abandoning, and ambivalent modes he has described for early historic cultures is a product of that ever increasing control of Nature that went into full gear with the agrarian revolution, some ten to twenty-five thousand years ago. So, I am saying that brutal parenting was a consequence of "civilization" and was at its worst at the beginnings of recorded time.
But I agree we have been gradually evolving to better modes of child-caring over the history of civilization to the most sane and psychologically beneficial modes employed in recent decades, which, you might want to note, are very much like the modes of the earliest humans. I describe why and how we lost our connection with Nature and loving ways of parenting—how we left "Eden"—in my book and blog "The Great Reveal."
The Cycles of Time
I believe my understanding shows once again how much of what modern folks thought of "development"—including it being linear and increasing from "darkness" to "light" with ourselves always at the top (conveniently)—is wrong and merely part of an anthropocentric bias and an ethnocentric heritage. For more and more, as we lay down those blinders to reality, we notice the evidence of the cyclical nature of everything—from our lives (ashes to ashes) to the physical Universe's expansion and contraction, to the vibrations at the subatomic level, the waves in the sea, the turning of the Earth and the revolutions of the solar systems, and I contend now also, the so-called "history" of our species on Earth. This is the thoroughly postmodern idea that human time is also cyclical, with over and again peoples returning to earlier halcyon times only to "fall" away from them.
The Worst of Times Quality of Current Events
This idea of time as cyclical not linear is in keeping with Eastern philosophies, as well as indigenous ones. Hindu thinking currently has us at the depths of the Kali Yuga, the worst part of the cycle right now, with matters to be reversed very soon and the best of times just ahead. And, as I have been describing in my books Falls from Grace and Primal Renaissance and will be directly pointing out in my upcoming book, Primal Return, we are currently seeing a most necessary return to a more harmonious way of being and a more natural self. And with it, requiring it, to some extent preceding it, we are evolving to the most advanced mode of loving parenting.
The "Best of Times" Nature of Our Parenting
Psychohistorian Glenn Davis, following deMause, analyzed the most advanced form of child-caring short of the most recent helping mode—the psychogenic parenting mode deMause termed socializing—and found that it comprised four submodes. In order, beginning in the mid-nineteenth century to the mid-twentieth century and each one a more "evolved" and humane one than the previous one, they are the submodes of psychic control, aggressive training, vigorous guidance, and delegated release. [Footnote 15]


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'Transport woes menace SA food security'
Poor road and rail transport networks in South Africa may threaten its food security, hampering the country's ability to import, process and distribute basic food stuffs, a newspaper said. South Africa's Business Day newspaper reported on Friday that crumbling rural road networks and problems with rail and logistics group Transnet's freight service were adversely affecting the food distribution chain. Full Story


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Who said healthy can't be delicious! These cookies are the perfect afternoon treat to enjoy with a cup of tea! The almond butter provides a delicious source of protein and the coconut flour is gluten free and rich in fibre, together they help to curb sweet cravings and keep you full.
This mixture makes 9 medium sized cookies but you can double the recipe and make an extra big batch to share with a friend.
1/4 cup almond butter
2 eggs
2 tablespoon coconut oil, melted
1 tablespoon maple syrup
¼ cup coconut flour
1 tablespoon cacao powder (optional)
½ teaspoon baking powder
Pinch of salt
Dark chocolate 100g, roughly chopped
- Preheat the oven to 170 degrees Celsius
- In a large mixing bowl add the almond butter, eggs, maple syrup and melted coconut oil.
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UNAIR NEWS – Indonesia has an indisputable abundance of natural resources. Commodities from soil, agriculture, plants and animals and other resources could be the source of the country's bargaining power on the world stage.
This condition is well-understood by the Faculty of Pharmacy. Therefore, the faculty located in Campus B commits to promote local values to contribute in the field of pharmacy at national or international level since traditional materials is not of lesser quality than materials from other countries.
"We intend to make our natural resources as our icon. We will always conduct explorations to discover Indonesian materials," said the Dean of Faculty of Pharmacy Dr. Umi Athiyah, Dra., MS., Apt. in her office.
She stated that teams from FF always contribute in drug studies of malaria, cancer, TBC, and other diseases and all of the drugs are made of Indonesian natural ingredients. In addition, studies on herbal drugs or supplements production are also conducted. Experts from FF, according to Umi, are also requested by the national government to contribute some ideas or thoughts on developing programs of the Food and Drugs Administration (BPOM).
In other news, FF is also ready to achieve UNAIR's dream to be a World Class University. Transforming into one of the Top 500 Universities is not an easy task. However, it is not impossible.
To achieve the target, FF has prepared some strategies such as reinforcing the education, research, and community service culture. "Our principle is to focus on the process. If the process is good, the result must be satisfying," said Umi.
She explained that FF has shaped the culture or spirit of excellent performance. All elements in faculty are in synergy. For example, on handling research projects, lecturers communicate actively to students to direct them in conducting studies that are useful for the public. Later on, the research can be further developed by the lecturer, or continued by the students themselves. From this process, there will be more scholars excellent in applied studies to meet global challenges.
The ability to research well will be achieved through excellent educational system. And with excellent research and accurate observation, effective community service can be performed.
"We always improve the process and develop the system well. If the process is already good, the quality of three aspects of Tri Dharma (education, research, and community service) implemented will bring us into world class," she said. (*)
Author: Rio F. Rachman
Adapted from UNAIR NEWS with revisions.


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In this post: Blue Door offers a runner-up prize to those who don't win the #squarespace iPhone giveaway …
If you've been active on Twitter or anywhere in the social media world within the last month, you've likely witnessed an explosion of business promotions.
From Murphy-Goode's "A Really Goode Job" contest, wherein applicants apply via online video submission to work in Napa Valley for six months at 10K/month (sounds terrible to me)…
…to Elations juice's Twitter account giving away a wellness weekend for two in California to one lucky follower…
…to the latest of craze – Square Space giving away an iPhone a day for 30 days to a lucky tweeter who includes the hash tag #squarespace in their tweet(s).
Promotions like these – and many, many more out there – attract hundreds (sometimes hundreds of thousands) of people to join in on the fun. And, in turn, increase brand awareness and likely get these businesses some great press. (For example – I had never even heard of Elations until they began following me, and I entered the contest by following back. Now, I've noticed the brand in three different instances – Crazy, huh?)
But, let's jump back to that "fun" part. The most enticing part of entering these promotions is usually the thought of winning. Unfortunately though, when you don't win … ever … it becomes less and less appealing to participate.
So, we thought that it would be a great idea to lift the spirits of all the non-winners out there by offering a booby prize (er, I mean, "second place … yeah!") to entrants of the #squarespace iPhone® giveaway.
All you have to do to win the daily prize is tweet the hash tag #BDCBoobyPrize with each #squarespace tweet. That's it! We'll award one swag bag per day until the #squarespace contest ends on July 7th. Or, until we run out – whatever comes first.
The BDC Booby Prize will contain: A gift bag, two luggage tags, two mint tins, a magnet with recipe for the oh-so-infamous Blue Fusion cocktail and a five-pack of original greeting cards. Take a look-see!
The winner will be selected completely subjectively, based solely on your ability to tweet something clever, witty or pithy, as that's how I judge everything else important in my life.
If you have any other questions about the contest, please leave a comment, and I will be sure to make up an answer off the top of my head as quickly as possible.
Good luck – I look forward to reading your tweets!


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