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Welcome to 'Fine Lines', the feature in which we give a wrinkled look at the books we loved as youth. This week, Lizzie Skurnick rereads Doris Buchanan Smith's A Taste of Blackberries', which gave readers everywhere a fear of hives.
In the children's literature pantheon of those who die too soon, there are two major types: the beautiful snoot who's killed off so that her uglier friend can guiltily brood forever upon her own ugliness and jealousy, and a vibrant being who helps a timid friend get bolder just in time to die in some typical act of heedlessness. (Fine Lines readers will here recall Bridge to Terabithia, as well as Constance C. Greene's Beat the Turtle Drum, in which a horse-tamer plunges off a tree to her end.) But I was introduced to death in the late 70s through Doris Buchanan Smith's A Taste of Blackberries, which for some time served as the semester's literary selection for 7-year-olds in my part of the country. (It was a kind of amuse-bouche for a main course of strangulation in Of Mice and Men.) And through the intervening decades, Buchanan's gentle, juice-stained depiction of early tragedy has, for me, set a standard neither Oprah pick nor Pen/Faulkner has ever faintly rivaled.
Young Jamie is the kind of friend who darts into a neighbor's garden to steal apples, hitches a ride in a car with a stranger, and pokes a stick right into a bee hive (more on that later). Though his best friend the narrator is, after all, the narrator, we never do find out his name. (Or do we? He's called "Chicken" by Jamie; "Honey," "Sweetie" or "Darling" — as in "Jamie is dead, darling" — by everyone else in the narrative.) But Jamie pays heavily for having top billing, as he's killed off just a few pages into the book when he pokes a stick into an underground beehive (see above), gets stung by the swarm of bees and goes into anaphylactic shock, then is left behind to die by our nameless narrator who assumes he is only fooling around, as usual.
After Jamie's death, the bulk of the narrative is taken up by our narrator's learning to cope, which actually follows the stages of grief from anger ("Jamie is a freak") to denial ("It seemed as long as I acted like Jamie wasn't dead, he wouldn't be dead anymore") to acceptance ("I cried and cried and cried"). Lying in a bath, the narrator tries to make soap lather to bring life back to Jamie; wandering in his neighbor's garden, he feels bad about trespassing. Looking at Jamie's younger sister, he decides he has to be a big brother for her now, and picks a bunch of blackberries for Jamie's mother, who says kindly that she'll bake them in a pie — an act that allows the narrator to release his guilt and run to play with the other neighborhood kids, who have been playing "'May I', but in hushed tones, because of Jamie."
When I was 7, these scenes, most of which barely span a hundred words, seemed vast swaths of narrative. I think that was less because I was a slow reader than because Buchanan so successfully rendered the way the smallest act in childhood takes on monumental significance — not only, of course, a death, but far smaller crimes, like stealing an apple, or triumphs, like figuring out how to string a tin-can phone across two windows (my friend and I never quite managed that one). In the world of a child, placing a flashlight up to your chin to make a spooky face can loom far larger in the memory than a tragic death, and while I remembered the narrator being frightened about wandering into Mrs. Mullins' garden without asking, I had forgotten entirely that as Jamie writhed on the ground, our protagonist left him to eat a popsicle.
I was going to have this Fine Lines focus heavily on the fine pencil illustrations of A Taste of Blackberries, which are so intrinsically connected to the book's quiet, melancholy power. But I moved this week, and unfortunately left my 1973 edition in some presently inaccessible pile. (That's what I get for being old and forgetful.) Instead I have the 1988 version, which seems to have mainly updated the illustrations in order to fit the hairstyles to that era. In the picture in the 70s edition, Jamie's mother has long straight hair parted in the middle and is wearing jeans and a loose shirt. Standing at her kitchen's screen door, she cups the narrator's chin with a kind of pre-Reagan-era intensity. Our 1988 mom has Farrah waves and a mom-like sweater, and her front door is graced with a nice plant. You can analyze which one is on the right side of history. Either way, Buchanan Smith is on the right side of childhood.
• • • • •
Ladies, it is less than T-minus 2 weeks to the publication of Shelf Discovery, and I could not be more in denial about it! I am completely lathering my chin up while everyone else goes to the funeral! However, there are going to be various items of publicity as well as various events to attend! If you want to know about them, you can do the following:
Friend me on FACEBOOK, where a cover gallery resides and people have made FUN YA QUIZZES;
Friend me on GOODREADS, where I am ignoring the 7893 books I would have to add to be accurate;
Visit me at HARPERCOLLINS, which has a fun template I fiddled with for an hour;
Follow me on TWITTER, which I don't understand but am trying to;
Sign up for my MAILING LIST, which will alert you to everything you need to know;
Go to LIZZIESKURNICK.COM, which will launch shortly and also have everything you need to know and is TO BOOT BEAUTEOUS thanks to my wonderful designer.
You can also PRE-ORDER THE BOOK! I just got it in the mail the other day and it is very pretty.
All of you giveaway winners, your books are coming. All of you quiz creators, send me your addresses. You can still win a book AUTOMATICALLY by creating a quiz on Facebook! (This is because I really just like having an excuse to take those quizzes.) Write me at email@example.com with all other demands/queries/items of information. Watched nephew today for three hours and am exhausted — how do you working moms do it? Respect! xoxoxo lizzie
A Taste Of Blackberries


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Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed.
Oh, Vincent Jackson. Oh, how I hate you. HATE you. LOATHE you. DESPISE you with the force of a thousand tornadocanes. YOU FUCKING DICK.
Eleven weeks, Vincent Jackson. I stayed loyal to you for eleven fucking weeks. I drafted you. I gave you a home on my roster. I said mean things about A.J. Smith (who is a fucking ASSHOLE) to support you. I let other players go to keep you on my squad. I encouraged you, nurtured you, waited for the day when you would finally end your holdout, serve your fucking three game in-house suspension (does any GM besides A.J. Smith ever pull that kind of cock move? FUCK AND NO), and return to the field to FUCK SOME SHIT UP. I relished the moment. I rubbed my hands in evil delight at the prospect of my opponents witnessing the firepower of a fully armed and operational Vincent Jackson. You were, like, the fucking Mario Kart TURBO BOOST my piece of shit fantasy team needed. I was gonna hit that button and BOOM! Fucking smoke everyone else.
That was the plan, Vincent Jackson. That was YOUR goddamn role.
And what the fuck do you do on Sunday Night? You take your candy ass out of the game after ONE FUCKING PLAY. ONE. What in the living fuck? You had a calf injury? A goddamn calf injury? DID YOU EVEN STRETCH WHILE YOU WERE AWAY, FUCKTASTER?! You didn't even TRY and come back into the game. You played one stupid play, then instantly Al Michaels was like, "Oh, and Vincent Jackson is done for two weeks." You couldn't even ride a fucking LifeFitness bike to see it if got better? Had a trainer stretch you on a table or something? You just go to street clothes at the drop of a goddamn hat? ASSHOLE! PUSSY! You fucked me! HARD!
Foldable Camping Cot
Adjustable and portable
Set the backrest to any position to fit your needs so you can relax out under the sun this summer.
No one likes to hear a fantasy football story, but I'm gonna tell you mine anyway, Vincent Jackson, because FUCK YOU. I'm up 10 points on Amy Blair and her fucking group of old maid cats going into Sunday night. I have you and Marmalard. She has the San Diego defense. I don't even bother worrying about losing this game. Then you pussy out, then Marmalard doesn't throw a TD, then the Chargers house two Peypey throws, and suddenly I HAVE BEEN ASSFUCKED BY A CHRISTMAS TREE.
You speckled cunt. You're faking it! I know it! You're totally faking it because you're mad at A.J. Smith and you want him to suffer. Look, I don't blame you. A.J. Smith is a penis. But you need to think of everyone else you hurt by being such a TREMENDOUS GASH. You need to think of the children, Vincent. And I totally qualify as a child because of my mental and emotional deficiencies. It's not just A.J. Smith you're hurting by pulling this shit. YOU HURT MY VERY SOUL. You are a piece of shit and a disgrace to the concept of loyalty. This is the reward I get for having faith you? For giving you a home? Damn you, Vincent Jackson. Damn you to Hell. In fact, damn you to SUPERHELL, which is located right BELOW hell and reserved strictly for the worst people in the universe, like you and Hitler and Elton John. They make you read Slate ALL THE TIME, that's how shitty it is. That's what you deserve, Mr. Achy Calf. You turd. I don't like you.
The Games
All games in the Jamboroo are evaluated for sheer watchability on a scale of 1 to 5 Throwgasms.
Five Throwgasms
Steelers at Ravens: The four best teams in the AFC all play each other in primetime this week. I have nothing catty to say about that. I just think it's awesome.
Jets at Patriots: I hate Ron Jaworski's TV voice. I hate it. I want to punch a mirror when I hear it. He could tell me who killed fucking Jimmy Hoffa and I still wouldn't want to hear it coming out of his goddamn mouth. I don't understand how people can enjoy listening to him do a football game. I don't care that he's informative. His voice is awful. He sounds like an opera singer trying to talk out dialogue. I don't know what the fuck he's trying to accomplish. He has a perfectly nice regular voice. But then a camera goes on and suddenly he's like I AM SPEAKING TO YOU NOW. LISTEN TO ME ENUNCIATE! How do media critics not hear this? How are they able to look past that and say nice things about Jaws? Do they have fucking manure in their ears? I'm at a loss.
Four Throwgasms
Bucs at Falcons: One of the dumbest things about every NFL telecast is when they put up a graphic telling you the analyst's KEYS TO VICTORY SPONSORED BY WINDOWS or whatever the fuck they call it at the time. It's like the worst PowerPoint presentation ever. For example, Troy Aikman's would totally read like this:
-Hit ground running
-Clutch Freeman
-As the world Turners
-Bend don't break?
It's the most simplistic, retarded bullet points you could imagine. Even Peter King thinks they're pointless. And they do it every game! Kills me.
Texans at Eagles: Here's you all waiver wire fantasy team for the year:
QB: Michael Vick
RB: Peyton Hillis
RB: Mike Tolbert
WR: Brandon Lloyd
WR: Steve Johnson
TE: Marcedes Lewis
K: Who cares
DEF: Raiders or Bears
Would you win your league with that team? FUCK AND YES, you would. Did I have the foresight to pick any of these players up? FUCK AND NO, I did not. No, I had to hold onto precious Vincent Jackson. YOU SEE WHAT YOU COST ME, YOU COCK?
Three Throwgasms
Raiders at Chargers: Rodney Harrison last week before the game: "If the Chargers win tonight, that makes them quicker to first place." It sure does, Rodney. It makes them way quicker to first place.
Redskins at Giants: I live in the DC area, which means I have access to all Redskin television and radio broadcasts. Lucky me! The local radio team for the Skins is Larry Michael, Sam Huff, and Sonny Jurgensen. And it's worth noting every year that Huff and Jurgensen are completely INSANE AND SENILE AND PRONE TO BOUTS OF EXTREME DEMENTIA. It's astonishing to behold. I listened for five minutes the other day and within that short timespan was treated to a spate of drunken old rambling that would have you shaking your head in disbelief if you heard it yourself. They immediately called Jared Allen, "Gerard Allen". Upon hearing the name Wally Pipp, the other one said, "I don't know who that is." Then there was this exchange.
MICHAEL: Guys, the Skins won last week despite all those injuries. Can they overcome those injuries again?
OLD DRUNK SAM HUFF: Of course they wanna win!
Nothing about any of their exchanges has even the slightest hint of coherence. It's awesome. It's like visiting your grandfather just before he passes away. I'd pay $20 for a printed transcript of one of their games, it's just that amazing. I'm certain that Huff doesn't have functional hearing.
JURGENSEN: Well, the Vikings have Adrian Peterson, and he's one of the best backs in football.
HUFF: Do the Skins not also have a Pro Bowler on defense? Lond.. er… London Fletcher?
JURGENSEN: We weren't talking about London Fletcher!
I swear, if you think Dick Stockton is long in the tooth, get your ass to DC for some quality old person forgetfulness. You won't be sorry.
By the way, Philip Buchanon is on the Skins roster. I remember loving him as a player coming out of Miami and wishing that the Vikings would draft him. They didn't, of course, and Buchanon went on to a middling career. But it's always fun to keep tabs on the guys you WANTED your team to draft who ended up being incredibly shitty. I remember thinking Lamar King would be a goddamn star. I'd love to see a chart of my draft wish picks. I bet it's abysmal.
One other Redskin note: On the heels of last week's Jamboroo, I'd also like to note that my kid was in some class the other day and, I shit you not, they taught her the schoolyard Indian chant. The one where you put your hand over your mouth and go BABABABABABABABA! They still teach it! In 2010! Thass so raycess! And yet, irresistible. She comes running in the house going BABABABABABABA! It's impossible not to join in on the racist fun.
Cowboys at Colts: I saw an ad the other night for the National Collector's Mint's 10th anniversary of 9/11 coin, which makes them the first company I'm aware of to cash in on some of that sweet, sweet 10-year 9/11 scratch. The coin is made with bits of silver that were taken from Ground Zero! And it totally wasn't looted. I don't think it was looted. Okay, it was probably looted. It may have belonged to a cousin of your who died in the attacks. But surely, you can't argue with that silver being used to make a COIN! Look, the Twin Towers even pop up! It's a pop-up coin! So classy!
Two Throwgasms
Browns at Dolphins: LeBron is back tonight! Don't hold back, Cleveland! He still thinks he isn't a horrible person! Say awful things about his mom and her portfolio of sexually transmitted diseases! Watch him run to Mike Wilbon in tears!
Jaguars at Titans: Katie Bakes linked on Twitter this week to this article about an online glasses retailer who rips off and threatens customers specifically to improve his search engine optimization, a strategy Bleacher Report pioneered ages ago. Do I even need to tell you the guy is Russian? Of course not. Whenever I meet a Russian, I instantly assume he deals drugs, beats hookers, and smuggles underage sex workers into the country. Russians creep me out.
Bengals at Saints: I returned to my gym last week after being on the shelf for three or four months due to back problems. It's a lot of fun to return to any place after a lengthy absence. I walked in the door triumphantly, thinking to myself I AM BACK! I immediately pictured everyone else at the gym turning their heads and staring at me, thinking to themselves, "He's BACK! That dude with the smelly iPod armband is BACK!" Of course, they did nothing of the sort, because they could care less about some other fuckstick coming in and working out. But in my mind? COMEBACK PLAYER OF THE YEAR.
Broncos at Chiefs: Dwayne Bowe has scored thirteen touchdowns in the past seven games. And here's his game log for the past three:
Sweet fucking Jesus. This man is terrifying.
Lions at Bears: I was at the store the other day and I was coming out of the exit with my cart full of groceries when I saw my path to the car was blocked by a woman double parked right at the exit typing on her Blackberry. You know how the curb outside a grocery store will gradually slope in a couple places so you can get your cart off the sidewalk? This store only had one of those slopes and the shithead was blocking it.
Externally, I was pissed at this woman for blocking my way. But, secretly, I was delighted that she had done this, because it gave me a rare chance to justifiably yell at a complete stranger. There was no doubt I had the right to yell at her, and so I did. "HEY LADY, MOVE IT!" And she heard me and moved and it made my fucking day. Everyone saw it happen, too. They totally witnessed the power of my indignation. I hope she blocks the exit again next week. I'd pay her $3 to do it.
Bills at Vikings: You know who I hate? People who brag about not laughing. Nothing is more annoying than some fuckhead who pipes up, "Oh, that made me laugh. And I NEVER laugh out loud at anything." Oh, okay. So you're a humorless fuckhead? Noted. Stand proud, you non-laugher, you.
49ers at Packers: I am a terrible dryer of hands. Whenever I go to wash my hands, I am too lazy to spend the time to stand there afterwards and dry my extremities to completion. I just grab the hand towel and then walk out. This does NOTHING, and then I walk ten feet and realize my hands are still wet, then I run them through my hair to get the excess water off. It's even worse in public bathrooms, where I'm too impatient to let the hand dryer do its thing. And if there are paper towels, I just grab a shitload and blot my hands and throw the wad out in a span of .3 seconds. I have no clue why I'm this lazy, but I'm certain that it's a sign of some greater character flaw. Perhaps several of them. Definitely several of them.
One Throwgasm
Panthers at Seahawks
Cardinals at Rams
Pregame Song That Makes Me Wanna Run Through A Goddamn Brick Wall
"Feel the Pain," by Dinosaur Jr. Loud guitars? Spike Jonze? Golf carts? Works for me!
Embarrassing Video I Once Liked That Will Not Fire You Up
"Cherish," by Madonna. I never fail to be turned on by women frolicking around in soaking wet clothing. This song was the score to any number of romantic encounters I had with the harem of imaginary girlfriends I possessed as a teenager. Oh man, did I have a lot of imaginary girlfriends. I was the fucking George Clooney of imaginary girlfriends. I gave them names and backstories and everything. And they all ADORED me. I have issues.
Madonna is so warm and friendly in this video. I don't quite know when she became a bulimic cyborg that feasts on African orphans, but I like her previous incarnation far better.
Fantasy Player That Deserves A Quick Finger In The Ass
See the top of this post.
Suicide Pick Of The Week
Last week's picks of Pittsburgh, Cleveland, and the Jets were 3-0. The Jamboroo is now 19-9 on the season. Again, we pick three teams for your suicide pool and something that makes you want to commit suicide as well. This week, the picks are Green Bay, Seattle, New Orleans, and the Sunday Night Football theme song. I don't quite know why they're still pushing this song on us. I think it's because Dick Ebersol likes seeing his name in the opening credits. Is there ANYONE out there who looks forward to this song, apart from seeing Faith Hill rock a minidress? Does it serve any vital constituency? It's a football game. It doesn't need some half-assed cover of a Joan Jett song in an attempt to emulate a Hank Williams MNF theme that's already decades past its expiration date. It doesn't need ANY song. Just start the fucking game and let me get on with my life, will you?
Nazi Shark's Vegas Lock Of The Week
Lots of sports sites, to demonstrate the arbitrary nature of gambling, like to have animals like monkeys pick games to see if they can outwit their human counterparts. There's no reason we at Deadspin can't also get in on the fun. So we've asked National Socialist German Workers' Party member Rolf, who also happens to be a shark, to pick one game a week. Take it away, Nazi shark.
"This week, I like Jacksonville getting 3 points on the road against Tennessee. That's six straight wins for me, people. And that means Jesus is on the Nazis' side. How else to explain both my stellar record and Simmons going 99-74-5?
"I see that Hannukah started yesterday. Did you little Jewish kids out there enjoy your… (snickers) festival of lights? Did you get a crazy awesome dinosaur pencil topper your first night? And light your little candleabra? Boy, that's one kickass holiday you got there. I certainly wish I had that over putting up a tree and gathering with fellow Christians of true morals and drinking spiked egg nog and opening shitloads of gifts and celebrating THE MOST DOMINANT HOLIDAY EARTH HAS EVER KNOWN. But yeah, you keep on going with your little Harmonica, or whatever the fuck it's called. Looks like a blast."
2010 Nazi Shark Record: 8-3-1
Great Moments In Poop History
Reader Bob sends is a story I call TAKE MY POOP AWAY:
I was on a week long trip with my buddy and his two cousins to Italy last year in March. Milan, Florence, Lake Como...it was a week-long odyssey and my first time out of the country. I was pumped up for it but on the second day I realized I was getting sick. So for the next six days I gutted out the trip with a horrible cold/alternating fevers as we toured through Italy.
Fast forward to the final day, we wake up at 7 a.m. to catch a flight back home to Newark. I am so sick, achey, a fever, the full on flu. The only thing that's keeping me going is the thought that I can get on a flight, possibly get drunk and pass out for the eight hour flight back to America. We get to the Milan International airport and I look at the big board and see the note "CANCELED" next to our flight information....Fuck Me. We go to our gate and they will give us no information other than the plane was experiencing equipment malfunctions and the flight was canceled. My friend (no exaggeration) stands in line at the airline desk for FOUR hours as I sit by myself in a desolate part of the airport reading and trying to not pass out.
Finally he gets us on a connecting flight to Berlin and then to Newark. As I'm wheeling my suitcase to the next terminal I start to smell wine...why would I smell like wine? Finally it hits me, I had two bottles of wine in my suitcase. I unzip my bag and one has shattered over all of my clothes....glass, red wine all over everything in my suitcase. One of the airline employees see's me and tells me I can't bring the bag on the flight. I beg and plead with them and they finally agree that if I wrap my suitcase in that stupid green plastic wrapping machine I can get on. We fly to Berlin without incident.
Here's where the fun starts. We're sitting in the gate waiting for the next flight home and my stomach starts to rumble. Whether it was the horrible panini I ate in the airport or my sickness, I realize that I'm about to shit my pants and basically run to the bathroom. I sit down and just release, moaning to myself and cursing my fate. After about five minutes I hear a knock at the door. I yell out that it's occupied. The knocking stops for a minute and then starts up again. I scream out to leave me alone and the knocking stops again.
As I'm cleaning up the knocking starts again, more urgent this time, and I finish everything and slam open the door, only to see an airline employee and a security guard in full military regalia with a huge gun pointing at my feet. The employee asked me what I doing and I told him I was taking a shit in more or less words and he asked if I had heard the announcement to clear out the gate. I told him I did not. Apparently it's customary in Berlin to clear out a gate of all passengers when the plane is coming in...while I was in the bathroom they made the announcement which I did not hear. They thought I was a terrorist plotting some horrible plan in the bathroom, when all I was doing was shitting my brains out. To add insult to injury as I walk out of the bathroom the ENTIRE terminal of people is crowded around the gate looking at the moron American who caused the security incident.
On a happy note Lufthansa offers free alcohol on its overseas flights and the flight attendants are some of the hottest I ever saw.
Poor Bob.
Fire This Asshole!
Is there anything more exciting than a coach losing his job? All year long, we'll keep track of which coaches will almost certainly get fired at year's end or sooner. And now, your updated chopping block:
Wade Phillips (FIRED!)
Brad Childress (FIRED!)
Jeff Fisher
John Fox
Mike Singletary
Josh McDaniels
Marvin Lewis
Gary Kubiak
Jim Schwartz
Jim Caldwell
Let's tack on Caldwell just for fun. Every NFL season includes a surprise firing or resignation. I still cherish the coming day when Belichick steps down abruptly. It's totally gonna happen in, like, fifteen years. It'll be awesome.
I'm particularly delighted by the confusion surrounding Josh McDaniels right now. Pat Bowlen said he was safe, but everyone knows Pat Bowlen is senile now, so the Broncos had to immediately correct Bowlen and say McDaniels is NOT safe, without coming out and saying that Bowlen is pulling a George Steinbrenner. Fun for all!
Gametime Snack Of The Week
Tostitos! I ate half a bag of these last week (the hint of lime ones), and spent an inordinate amount of time scanning the bag for the ones that were puffed up. I love me a puffy Tostito. The ones with giant bubbles inside and shit? GOLD.
Gametime Cheap Beer Of The Week
PROTON BEER! The beer made by SCIENCE. From the shores of Greece, where every drink has a stray body hair in it! From reader Starburied:
I studied abroad in Greece during the spring semester of 2010. After quickly realizing that spending $50 a night to go clubbing was going to leave me several thousand dollars short over the next five months, it was time to go on the hunt for a cheap alternative. The solution: Proton Beer. Selling for 0.80 euro per 17 oz makes for an approximation of $0.74 per 12 ounce can.
Unable to find a can description but let's let "DruncanVeasey" of RateBeer.com sum it up for you:
"Pours pale gold with a grainy, rubbery snout. Cereally graininess with a trace of apple-like fruit. Maybe. Pils-like bitterness with biscuity malt afters. Evilly innocent-looking cartoon tin that would almost certainly be illegal in the UK. Walked past it every day for 2 weeks thinking it was a soft drink marketed at children. Malty, grainy, uncomplicated but OK."
I love my beer to have a rubbery snout. I MUST HAVE IT. God, look at that can. It looks fucking awful. This is what it would look like if they made Mountain Dew Ginger Ale. And they totally should!
Robert Evans' MVP Watch!
Time to start thinking about who the leaders are for the NFL's MVP award. So every week, legendary Hollywood producer Robert Evans will join us to give us his assessment. Take it away, Mr. Evans.
"Baby, my favorite for the NFL's MVP is Matt Ryan of the Falcons! Now, let me tell you another story about my old pal Bruce Dern. Crazy? YOU BET! Violent? OH YES! Especially during full moons!
"I was having a Hannukah party at Woodland back in '78. And when Evans does Hannukah, he makes Christmas look like Arbor Day! I had a "menorah" of nine luscious nude redheads shipped in directly from Bosnia. Were they Jews? WHO CARES? It got everyone in the spirit!
"Now, my Hannukah party is usually the kickoff to an elaborate eight day olive oil orgy. You know, as a tribute to the Maccabees. So I'm standing there on Day 6 with one of these fine human candles, and Dern is on the bed next to me. We're both COATED in Philip Berio. He says we should tag and switch. And you know Evans always goes with the flow! So I get off my bed and start walking over to his when he whispers in my ear.
"'Evans,' he says. 'I got a secret.'
"'Better be a good one,' I tell him.
"'I have a tarantula in my rectum.'
"Now there's something you don't hear every day! Dern told me it was an erotic technique he learned from the Malays. They place a Tarantula egg in your rectum and it grows to full size in your body. The orgasms, Dern said. The orgasms would blow your skull. Well, I was tempted, mainly because I was high on Coke. But Evans prefers his bowels to be spider-free! But I do wonder, sometimes, if I'm missing out. Maybe Derny had a better Hannukah than I had!"
Sunday Afternoon Movie Of The Week For Panthers Fans
Tron. The original one, not the sequel coming out this month that looks fucking kickass. I know the old Tron has its cult following. But I am not among them. I was six when my folks took me to see this, and it pretty much caused me to be clinically depressed. There are certain things in life that depress you for reasons you can't explain. For me, those things include "I Just Called To Say I Love You," any old episode of One Day At A Time, and this film. It's so fucking dark. Literally. The fact that there's nothing but black in the background creeped me the fuck out. Seeing this movie as a child is basically like someone handing you a tab of LSD fifteen years before you should try it. It fucked me up. To this day, I can't look at footage of the old Tron without becoming irrationally despondent. Oh, and I sucked at the video game.
Gratuitous Simpsons Quote
Halftime Masturbation Kit
-For the guys: Sindi Bertherton (NSFW) When you look like that, you can misspell "Cindy" all you please. Cherish is the word I use to remind me offffff, your looooooove…
-For the gals: Jim from Outsports sends in this photo of Aussie football star Nick Youngquest. Tell me that isn't the coolest last name ever.
Enjoy the games, everyone.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
MDM is dead.
Note: This commentary is not connected with a Yankee Group report of the same name. The naming was a coincidence.
This is not really news; if you've listen to vendors and experts in the space for at least the last year they've all come to the conclusion that mobile device management, as we have come to understand it, has become at best commoditized. At worst, it's a problem, an impediment to the whole point of mobility in business computing.
A session I attended here at Interop New York brought out much of this reasoning. In a sense this is not surprising, as it had a panel of mobile security vendors, but the arguments are hard to dispute. The session was on enterprise mobility management (EMM). Think of EMM as the new MDM.
MDM has its origins in the BlackBerry Enterprise Server (BES), the feature that gave BlackBerry such a great reputation for secure mobile computing. After the iPhone came along and blew up the BlackBerry's business model, Apple implemented a set of MDM APIs fairly analogous to those in BES. The fact that this feature set is the full extent of what you can do on iOS has made for instant maturity of the MDM space: there are scores of companies selling MDM and--at least for iOS devices--they all offer the same features because that's all Apple will let them do. Instant commoditization.
MDM is about locking down devices, preventing users from performing certain tasks they might want to do on their phones and tablets. From a security standpoint this is a perfectly reasonable thing to do, but users don't like it. Incredibly, what users like and don't like matters these days. And in a BYOD environment, restricting what users can do and threatening to wipe their devices is a recipe for bad will.
The members of the panel generally argued that the right way to look at security solutions is in the context of the organization's security problems. The problems aren't all device problems; in fact, arguably none of them are device problems. What you want to secure is the organization's data and, by way of that, the apps.
Numerous categories of mobile security products have emerged to address the problems that really do exist in organizations. The number of approaches is, in fact, far too great and the industry is in dire need of consolidation so that buyers have fewer choices to make, but that's another column. The panel moderator, Chris Hazelton, research director at 451 Research, referred to all of them under the umbrella term EMM.
The first main category to emerge in the post-MDM era is mobile application management (MAM). There are many companies in this business, including Apperian, represented on the panel, and all the other major vendors including Zenprise, MobileIron and, with their purchase of AppCenter, Good Technology. The idea is to wrap the app in a security layer that restricts its abilities, subject to policy. This approach can be done at the source-code level, which both Apperian and Good do, or as an outside code wrapper applied to application binaries, which everyone is doing.
Cimarron Buser, VP of at Apperian, points out that different companies have different approaches: "BYOD is important, but so is COPE - corporate owned, personally enabled. Businesses realize that it's positive for users to feel they can put their own content on their phone; it means that the user will be more engaged with the corporate apps as well." Apperian's offerings are flexible, with an enterprise app store that attracts users and improves the ability of IT to secure, distribute and manage apps, no matter who owns the device. Their wrapping technology then lets IT control what the apps can do.
Purnima Padmanabhan, chief operating officer of MokaFive, focused on protecting the company's intellectual property. To do that, MokaFive creates secure "containers" for the data and applications that operate on it. Secure the container and it doesn't matter what device it runs on. They all can be managed up to and including wiping the containers.
Neil Cohen, VP of marketing at Visage Mobile, says you should manage users, not devices. A user might have many devices, but wherever he goes, if he is managed then the system is secure. The device need not be.
Finally, Dimitri Sirota, chief strategy and marketing at Layer 7 Technologies, said that his company functions as a Mobile Backend as a Service, or MBaaS. This is a middleware approach that typically provides authentication services, native notifications to the user, search functionality across stored data, MAM, and maybe even development facilities.
Each of these approaches is worth many full stories apiece so I won't attempt to explain them further here, but the main point of it all is that mobile security is growing up. To do so, it needs to put MDM behind and look for ways to empower users, not restrict them.


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Full disclosure: One of my oldest friends is behind this Responsible Tourism venture in Thailand, but I give it my full support as it is testimony to his lifelong devotion to the cause of fighting rural exodus and providing decent livelihoods in rural communities. Many of the lowest wage workers in Bangkok, notably those in the sex trade, come from Isan, the northeastern part of Thailand that borders Laos. Gecko Villa, a fully catered holiday rental in that little known corner of Thailand, is a peaceful and beautifully appointed retreat where you can relax with all the creature comforts, enjoy home cooked food and experience the "real" Thailand – try to go there during rice planting/harvesting season for a real immersion experience!
Khun Ten, the owner of the villa, explained to me how it all works.
Q. Tourism in Thailand has for many years been a mainstay of this SE Asian economy, centered on specific destinations. The infrastructure on islands such as Phuket or Koh Samui, or in the coastal city of Pattaya is specifically geared to mass tourism, where international hotel chains dominate. So how do you attract independent visitors to the undiscovered northeast?
A. It's true that whilst the northeast of Thailand (locally called "Isan") is the largest region in the country, it is visited by only one percent of international travelers. Yet we see this as a strong point: we aim to offer something very different to visitors. At the same time, we feel that the number of visitors seeking greater authenticity, and direct interaction with the locals, continues to grow. Most visitors will have found our detailed website themselves, but we also work with a select number of travel agents offering tailor-made holidays.
Q. How does a holiday at Gecko Villa differ from a normal hotel stay, or from a normal vacation rental?
A. In a number of ways – including the location, the user experience, the services provided and the activities offered.
The villa is a spacious and independent holiday villa set in the heart of the countryside – it is not just part of the room inventory of a larger hotel or resort – and is built around a private swimming pool that overlooks our adjoining rice paddies and plantations. I and my family and relatives live in a small village nearby. We meet and greet guests at arrival to transfer them to the villa, and look after them throughout their stay. We introduce them to the locals and to indigenous ways of life, and cook Thai meals for them. In a way, we have taken the concept of a normal holiday letting, but added catering and other services that would more typically be found in a resort (such as laundry, traditional Thai massage and more.)
We are happy to involve guests fully in the local ways of life. Activities can include Thai wet market visits and cooking classes, visits to local schools and temples, tours of the listed wetlands of Nong Han, and boat trips on the stunning pink lotus lake nearby, as well as excursions to the UNESCO World Heritage Site at Ban Chiang . The more adventurous may want to help out with the rice planting or harvesting, or go hunting for insects or field mice – unusual but traditional sources of protein. Of course, if guests simply wish to relax by the pool, enjoy having their cooking done for them and indulge with a traditional Thai massage by the pool, these options are always open.
But I think the main factor that differentiates a holiday with us is the personal touch. This is true from the outset – as the vast majority of our guests contact us directly via our website – right through to guests' departure. Everyone involved at the villa has a direct interest in ensuring that visitors have an enjoyable stay, and I believe that the opposite is also true, as guests see that their holiday contributes directly to the well-being of all those involved – from the driver and the cook to the housekeepers and the massage therapists.
Q. You also underline the responsible travel aspects of holidays offered
Yes. Gecko Villa, from the outset, was rooted in the principles of responsible tourism. One of our main achievements has been preventing the typical separation of families and the migration of parents to Bangkok or overseas. Out of the rice planting and harvesting season, the vast majority of locals are still obliged to seek unskilled employment far from home, and this means that young children have traditionally been left with elderly grandparents. Creating local employment has enabled several families to stay together, promoting stability and a secure, local and individually empowering source of employment.
Many guests comment on how they will seek out a holiday that will impact the locals in a positive way, without passing through middlemen. In turn, they enjoy a more authentic stay, being able to "go local." We are also very grateful to those guests who help the immediate local community – for example through donations to the local village school or giving English lessons there. It has also meant access to better education and medical treatment for those involved.
Q. Can you share some of the eco-friendly initiatives you have integrated at the villa?
A. That's an interesting question, as some of the practices at the villa that might be seen as "eco-friendly initiatives" are in fact traditions borne out of necessity, whilst others are more deliberate.
Traditional practices for example would include our rainwater harvesting. As there is no mains supply of water at the property, an environmentally aware and sustainable approach to water conservation is second nature. Guests will see large red water jars under the roof of each and every house in the local villages, as this harvesting has been undertaken for centuries. Then take recycling. Again, this has been practiced for many, many years in most rural areas in Thailand, as well as in most cities, where "saleng" – or waste recyclers – separate plastics, metals, bottles and so forth from waste, selling it on to specific recycling facilities.
The trick is to then to try to extend such practices. As an example, promoting the use of banana leaves, rather than plastic bags, to wrap food, or a more controlled use of organic waste for the creation of fertilizers.
Likewise, equipping the property with power-efficient, energy-saving fittings and equipment makes a big difference, especially with items such as air-conditioners. And using a salt water chlorination process at the swimming pool avoids the use of powdered chlorine.
The Thai and Isan food prepared at the villa uses locally sourced ingredients. When you look out from the swimming pool over the rice paddies, you are looking at the very source of the rice we eat each day. We also grow our own lemongrass, basil, pea eggplants, tamarind, chili, mint, spring onions, mango, banana, limes and more.
Then there is the simple matter of design. The villa was built by local villagers, using the local and sustainable "Pradoo" wood, and a number of elements of the property reflect traditional practices aimed at a better integration with the environment. The high and pitched roof of the building, for example, and the villa's extensive balconies, ensure maximum cooling breezes and ventilation, & shelter from the tropical sun. The construction of the house on raised pillars also helps ventilation, allows a quick run-off of rains, and reduces the risk of termites.
Q. You also mentioned reforestation in the area…
A. Vast expanses of Isan are dedicated to rice farming. Historically, this has meant that ancient forests have become more and more rare. It is only recently that the locals have realized the need for biodiversity. We can only play a small part, but we hope to encourage others to join us as they gradually see the advantages.
Our approach has been twofold. On the one hand, we took an area of unproductive rice paddy fields adjoining the property and replanted this with indigenous trees, mixing in cash crops such as rubber trees with endangered species such as mahogany, teak, and local hardwoods. We hope that this will not only be a boon to the local flora and fauna, but also avoid the strain on water requirements and the production of methane that are typical in rice paddies.
On the other hand, we acquired a site of mature woodland originally destined for felling and conversion into rice paddies. Our aim here was again to help maintain the eco-system and natural wildlife, and reduce water requirements.
Q. Do you intend to expand the property at all ?
A. No. We want it to remain a family affair, to retain its authenticity and to continue to have a "small footprint." After all, these elements are what attract guests. For the same reason, we never book two sets of guests into the villa at the same time – we want them to be assured of privacy, whilst nurturing direct interaction between guests and locals.
Gecko Villa is a 3 bedroom vacation rental sleeping up to six guests. Rates include the villa and private pool, airport transfers, freshly cooked, authentic Thai meals daily, and maid & laundry services. The minimum stay is only 2 nights.


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Ever shop at QFC at U-Village and find yourself circling in vain for parking? Or pull into the parking lot, past the empty liquor store, and think what a dead space that is?
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QFC's latest proposed remodel (pdf) may fix those problems, with plans for a new two-story parking deck, more stalls and a larger store. The project also calls for a new pedestrian plaza, with retail, outdoor eating space and flower displays.
Gone in the design is a plan to build about 350 apartment units in a 6-story structure, which the grocery chain had proposed in 2008. The height and mass of that idea had prompted some concern among city design reviewers and neighborhood groups.
The latest plan, scheduled for a design review board next week, calls for adding 27,000 square feet to the current store, which is 74,000 square feet. The project would add another 22,000 square feet to the building's second floor, which is used for public storage.
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It would also add 131 new parking stalls to the existing 446 stalls.
The 2008 proposal had called for a two-story garage, capped by up to four levels of apartments. But early design reviewers recommended that the plan reduce the mass and height transition of the structure to better align with the rest of the upscale, open-air shopping center.
The early design also called for upper-level courtyards, which reviewers said should be on the street level instead, to make the area feel more open and lively.
The project is scheduled for the Mar. 5 meeting of the Northeast Design Review Board.
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Click on the photos above for more design details.
Visit seattlepi.com's home page for more Seattle news. Contact Vanessa Ho at 206-448-8003 or firstname.lastname@example.com, and follow her on Twitter as @vanessaho.


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Fort Payne Alabama
Bird's-eye view of the valley from atop Lookout Mountain
On the slopes at Cloudmont Golf and Ski Resort
Scenic and serene Bucks Pocket State Park on a fall day
Period displays inside the Fort Payne Depot Museum
A wintertime rappelling tour in Little River Canyon with True Adventure Sports
Rushing water at Little River Falls in the Little River Canyon National Preserve
Sightseeing on horseback along the Lookout Mountain Scenic Parkway
Browsing the wares at the eclectic Wildflower Cafe
DeSoto State Park, home of Alabama's tallest waterfall
The Sallie Howard Memorial Chapel built into a boulder in Mentone
- Major Airports:
- Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta (ATL)
- Birmingham-Shuttlesworth (BHM)
- States:
- Alabama
Saying hello to nature in the Southern Appalachian Mountains
Parks and Recreation
The National Park Service's Little River Canyon National Preserve is home to the Little River, which is unique in that it flows entirely atop Lookout Mountain. Three waterfalls and the plunging canyon carved by the river are visible from from various hiking trails and overlooks on the 17.7-kilometer segment of the Lookout Mountain Parkway Scenic Byway within the park. Explore at your own pace, often accompanied by fewer people than you might expect at a national park. Bring your gear or sign up with True Adventure Sports or One World Adventure Company for rock climbing, fishing and mountain biking. Experienced kayakers will find challenging Class III-VI rapids on the Little River too.
Beyond the national park, take time to explore DeSoto State Park, home to the state's tallest waterfall as well as rock climbing, 40 kilometers of hiking trails and cozy cabin and camping accommodations. Go hiking and fishing at Buck's Pocket State Park and cool off in the waterfall pools at High Falls Park. Cloudmont Ski and Golf Resort makes snow in the winter for beginner and intermediate skiing and snowboarding. In the summer, there's a dude ranch, a golf course and rustic cabins. You can also drive a segment of the Appalachian Highlands Scenic Byway, which starts at Lookout Mountain.
Downtown and Historical Sites
The region was first inhabited by Cherokee Indians and grew when a rail line from Birmingham to Chattanooga, Tennessee, passed through Fort Payne. The town boomed in the 1880s when New Englanders came looking for work in the new coal and iron mines. Their contributions are evident in many of the town's Victorian structures, such as the Opera House, built in 1889, and the circa 1891 Fort Payne Depot, a beautiful, pink sandstone train station that now displays Cherokee handicrafts and local artifacts. See the remnants of the namesake fort at the Fort Payne Cabin Historic Site and pay respects to local Cherokee and pioneers at the Willstown Mission and Cemetery. Fast-forward about a century when three young musicians from Fort Payne formed a now-legendary county band called Alabama. Take a selfie with the life-sized statues of the band at City Park.
Small-Town Gems
Visitors to the area love the slower pace of life in the mountain town of Mentone, which is on Lookout Mountain 20 minutes from Fort Payne. After seeing DeSoto Falls or skiing at Cloudmont, savor an organic, home-cooked meal while listening to local musicians at Wildflower Café. The café's country store sells locally made artwork and clothing for a unique memento. Fans of quirky landmarks can't miss the Sallie Howard Memorial Chapel, a church built into a boulder that serves as the pulpit. If you still have some shopping to do, browse the Boom Town Makers Market in Fort Payne. Housed in the 1879 Sawyer Building, the market sells artwork, jewelry, gourmet food and crafts from local artisans. Check the events calendar for the Agri-Business Center in nearby Rainsville, and you might be able to see a rodeo, concert or horse show.
Fun Fact
The American Country music band Alabama is based in Fort Payne.
Nearby Experiences
Neversink Pit
Chattanooga: Culture, Nature and Fun
3 Days in Chattanooga, Tennessee
Adventures in the Great Outdoors
Fall for Waterfalls in Tennessee
5 Flowers You'll Only Find in the USA
City Tour - Atlanta, Georgia
Upcoming events
Rhododendron Festival
Fort Payne Boom Days
Turkey Trot
Official Fort Payne Travel Site
Explore more
7 Spots for Family Fun Around the USA
Gulf Shores and Orange Beach


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Tecno 7 MegaPixel Camera Mobiles in Pakistan - Price of 7 MegaPixel Cam Tecno Mobile Phones
Take great pictures with Tecno 7MP Camera phones available in Pakistan. Find 7MP Tecno Mobile Price in Pakistan in 2023. All latest mobile phones with 7MP Camera by Tecno with Best price in Pakistan. Cheap 7 Megapixel Tecno camera mobile phone rates, low price 7MP phones rate to Tecno High end 7MP mobile phones list in Pakistan. Check detailed features and full specifications of Tecno. Compatible with all cellular operator networks, including 3G and 4G networks. Prices are updated by Lahore, Karachi, Islamabad, Peshawar, Rawalpindi, Multan, Faisalabad, Quetta, Sialkot mobile markets.
Sorry, No Mobile Found
Tecno Mobile was founded in 2006. It is a Chinese company based in Hong Kong. It started as Tecno Telecom Limited but later its name was changed to Transsion Holdings, to which Tecno Mobile is a subordinate now. Following the market research, it targeted the African market and was soon one of the top three mobile brands in Africa. Three mobile series have been launched by Tecno until now; namely Phantom, Camon, and SPARK.
The Phantom series contains two mobile phones with extraordinary features. These phones have the ultra-slim body, dual back camera, eye scanner, light speed charging, front flash camera, wide-angle selfie, dual sim, Deca core processor, improved ram, business security, fingerprint and lots more.
There are five mobiles in the Camon series. They have got the metal body, high-resolution front, and back camera, light speed charge, fingerprint, wide-angle front camera, portrait filters, and so many other interesting features.
The SPARK series has three mobiles. These phones are equipped with high definition cameras that capture clear selfies and reduce noise while recording. They can even capture pictures by sensing fingerprints in less than a second.
The Tecno mobile prices in Pakistan increase with the upgrading and addition of new features in the mobiles. The latest prices of techno mobiles in Pakistan in 2023 are updated regularly on the website of Urdu Point according to the market prices.
There are so many smart phones out there; it's hard to decide which one to buy. In order to facilitate the buyers in choosing a phone, this page helps you compare Tecno mobiles with other mobile models and brands with respect to their specifications, display sizes, colors, prices in Pakistan, and reviews. Pictures of all mobiles are displayed and all specs are also mentioned in the description. Video reviews and user feedback is also available for various techno phones. You can find all information about the Tecno mobile phones on this page.


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Many of you have written or commented to tell us how much you liked Ian Stewart's original tutorial, "How To Create a WordPress Theme: The Ultimate WordPress Theme Tutorial". You'll be happy to learn that that we've created a second edition of the tutorial! Just like last time, you can expect one new lesson each day. What's changed in the second edition? Keep reading to find out!
What's new in the Second Edition:
- Updated code samples that draw from the Underscores (_s) starter theme. February 2012 marked the release of the Underscores (_s) starter theme, and since then, it has gathered plenty of momentum. The code samples and file structure for the theme we're going to create in this tutorial will draw from _s as a source of modern code that reflects current best practices.
- New Lessons. Developing Your Theme Sense is worth reading if you're completely new to WordPress Theme Development. It'll teach you what you need to know to sharpen your theme intuition. Setting Up Your Theme Functions guides you through creating an organized theme structure, and Secure your WordPress Theme tells you what you need to know to lock your theme down from potential security threats. Distributing Your WordPress Theme covers the steps you'll need to take to prepare your theme for distribution, and what you need to know about licensing.
- New Tools. We added new awesome tools to the Theme Development Tools lesson.
In only 16 individual lessons, this WordPress Theme Tutorial is going to show you how to build a powerful, up-to-date, WordPress Theme from scratch. As we go along I'll explain what's happening including (for better or worse) my thinking on certain techniques and why I'm choosing one path over another. Essentially, I'll be teaching you everything you need to know about WordPress Theme development.
At the end of this tutorial, you'll be able to do almost anything you want.
Skip to the Table of Contents.
Introducing the Underscores (_s) Starter Theme
If you haven't heard of _s, in short, it's a 100% GPL, community-driven starter theme that contains modern templates, starter CSS, and an organized file structure — everything you need to help you get your designs off the ground. You can also use _s as a starting point for your future theme projects. If you'd like to learn more about the thinking behind _s, please take a moment to read A 1000-Hour Head Start: Introducing the _s Theme. Come right back after you've read it. No, seriously, we'll wait.
The simple theme we're going to build in this tutorial, The Shape Theme (yes, it's the Shape Theme from the 1st Edition, updated for the 2nd Edition), is based on _s. Download it and check it out if you'd like to see the finished code we'll be going through, live, in action. It'll be a while before we get to the CSS lesson, but if you'd like to look ahead at the sample design we'll eventually create for the Shape theme, you can grab it here.
A Word About Timeliness
Are you reading this on a date that makes October 2012 seem like a long time ago? Yes? Then there's a good chance that some of the code samples in this tutorial are already outdated. That's OK, because what's more important is that you understand the broad concepts — the whys — that are presented in the lessons. You can always grab a copy of the latest _s source code from the GitHub repository.
Here's the list of features your finished theme will be able to boast of:
- A well-organized, modular file structure
- All the search-engine optimization you'll really need
- Google-supported Microformat markup
- Valid and logical semantic markup structure than can be used to create ANY layout
- Smart default CSS layouts
- Localization support: translation-ready mark-up and an RTL stylesheet
- Dynamic body, post, and comment classes
- Separated trackbacks and threaded comments
- Two widget areas: the first one with default widgets, and the second coded to disappear when it's empty
- Support for the Aside Post Format (after the tutorial, you'll easily be able to add support for more post formats)
- A Custom Menu, Flexible Custom Header Image, and a Custom Background
- Simple responsive styling, including a lightweight navigation menu for mobile devices
- And all the typical WordPress stuff you expect from a theme
I think that's kind of impressive—for any WordPress Theme.
WordPress Theme Tutorial Table of Contents
Ready for a WordPress Theme Tutorial that will show you how to create a powerful theme from scratch? Read it from the beginning and code yourself up something awesome. Note: if a lesson does not have an active link, it means that lesson hasn't been published yet. 🙂
Check back every day for a new lesson.
- WordPress Theme Tutorial Introduction
- Developing Theme Sense
- Theme Development Tools
- Creating a Theme HTML Structure
- Template and Directory Structure
- Setting Up Your Theme Functions
- Secure Your WordPress Theme
- The Header Template
- The Index Template
- The Single Post, Post Attachment, & 404 Templates
- The Comments Template
- The Search Template & The Page Template
- The Archive Template
- The Sidebar Template & The Footer Template
- Reset-Rebuild Theme CSS & Define Your Layouts
- Custom Background & Custom Header
- Distributing Your WordPress Theme


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Generator Rex and company head to Egypt, Professor X's past is picked through, a stalwart of the edutainment industry meets her death, and Gandalf makes a stellar appearance on Robot Chicken this week. Young Justice, Clone Wars, Ben 10, and Thundercats are in re-runs due to the holidays, but we've got some nice clips to fill in. Minor spoilers ahead.
Generator Rex – "Riddle of the Sphinx "
Rex and the crew head to Cairo, Egypt (with Black Knight and Providence right behind them) due to some suspicious E.V.O. reports. While exploring pyramids, Holiday finds booby traps and nanites among a set of hieroglyphics. Rex awakens accidentally awakens a mummy E.V.O., Garan-Set, who escapes the tomb by bringing other mummies back to life. This episode delves into how old nanite technology might be...and that Rex may be some part of an ancient prophecy.
Marvel Anime: X-Men – "Lost"
I will not lie – this episode is a wee bit weird. The X-Men are attacked by a giant spider in the opening moments, only to find out it is Riko, who suffers from Damon-Hall syndrome (which Beast later cures). At the same time, Professor Xavier flies the Blackbird to meet a lost love, Yui. This week's clip is a cool montage of the Professor and Yui's back story and mutual care for young mutants. Professor X continues to be unlucky in love – en route to meet his dame, the Professor is caught in a dimension rift. Poor Xavier.
Robot Chicken – "The Curious Case of the Box"
A pretty stellar episode of Robot Chicken aired this week. In our clips, Gandalf co-stars on the classic game show Password (and in a gentleman's kidney stone nightmares) while Dora the Explorer goes on a final journey, watching Diego and several friends die while climbing Mount Everest.
The Curious Case of the Box features some great shorts too, including Bruce Willis in a sequel to The Sixth Sense (which I refuse to see so I can be the guy who yells "spoilers!" for the rest of the my life), and a practical explanation for why we don't have flying cars.
Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos – "Deadly Dolphin"
This Saturday, I give you a horrible holiday gift option. Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos is available on DVD (every episode for less than $20!), and makes for an amazing gift for the ones you hate or the person in the office you picked in the holiday (can I say Christmas?) pool. One part Chuck Norris karate infomercial, one part G.I. Joe rip-off, and one part morality play, all parts so-bad-it's-good.
Chuck rides dolphins and lets them get shot at in this clip from the first episode of the series. Remember kids - be a winner, no matter how tough things get, even if you have to fight dolphins and go to Florida.
Robot Chicken airs Sunday nights on Cartoon Network. Marvel Anime: X-Men airs Friday nights on G4TV. Generator Rex airs Friday nights on the Cartoon Network. Chuck Norris is still looking into the camera, longing for a 2010s version of Karate Kommandos.


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(CNN) - Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who openly competes with other governors by trying to lure businesses to the Lone Star State, is now taking his strategy one step further.
He's challenging New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, a Democrat, to a debate on economic policy. Perry's office said he issued the challenge on Albany's Talk 1300 news radio.
[twitter-follow screen_name='politicalticker'][twitter-follow screen_name='KilloughCNN']
Both are considered potential presidential candidates, though Perry, a Republican, has been much more active in building his national profile.
Perry is in the Empire State until Thursday, meeting with business leaders and touting the economy in Texas compared to that of New York.
His office points to a report by the Tax Foundation, which rates New York as the state with the worst business tax climate. New Jersey is also tied for last place. The report cites New York's individual income tax, which ranges from 4% to 8.82%, as one of its biggest problems.
Americans for Economic Freedom, a group created last year by political operatives close to Perry, is running a 30-second television ad in New York appealing to business owners during Perry's visit.
"If you're tired of New York, there's an option: Texas," he says in the spot.
However, on March 31, Cuomo signed into law a new state budget that reduces the corporate income tax rate from 7.1% to 6.5%, and includes other reforms.
The Tax Foundation applauded the corporate tax overhaul, saying the changes "are impressive and will greatly reduce complexities and burdens in New York's corporate tax structure.
It's not the first time Perry has gone after New York businesses. The governor, who's not running for re-election next year, has also launched campaigns in California, Illinois, Connecticut, and Missouri.
While it's not uncommon for governors to court out-of-state businesses, it's typical for them to do so under the radar, not out in the open like Perry. His efforts further fuel speculation that he's considering another run for president.
CNN reached out to Cuomo's office for a response.
Danny Kanner, communications director for the Democratic Governors Association, mocked Perry's invite by referencing the governor's disastrous debate performance from 2011, in which he forgot the third of three federal agencies he would cut.
"A little free advice for Rick Perry: the fewer debates with anyone, the better. Oops!" he said in an email, linking to a clip of the moment when Perry struggled to remember the agency's name.
CNN's Steve Brusk contributed to this report.
Isn't Rick Perry under investigation ?
Yes .
New York is a better location for large business than Texas, because the tax incentives are just about equal, and in New York companies can find employees that can actually function. Texas has dumbed itself down so much that workers in third world countries are starting to look good.
Good job GOP. We're number one, in ignorance , and number one in angry employees, and......
Tax cuts are only one leg one the stool, and the GOP is full of stool.
"It's a good issue to keep alive. It's fun to poke at him." –Rick Perry, suggesting that President Obama's birth certificate is a fake, Oct. 26, 2011
Yes butt dem states like you to bend over and spell R U N .
Listen, Cuomo has the same caliber as Obama.
Yeah right. .22 caliber, the smallest available. Barely above BB, the size of the typical liberal brain.
Isn't it amazing that now there are lefties in here advocating for conservative Republican tax policies?! I guess they have finally realized that Obama and the Democrats plan to endlessly grow government and keep raising taxes to fund it is obviously unsustainable. I never thought I'd live to see the day. But after 8 years of their economic disaster, what else can they do but admit the obvious?
Andrew Cuomo a candidate? REALLY? 34% of New Yorkers are looking to leave within the next 5 years...this blue ship is going down and he is the captain...and now he wants to be the Admiral???Ah nope!
Ideology of Republicans
--Obama is bad
--Birth Certificate. I pity these GOP guys. Shhh, none work, nor true.


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CME Group 30 Year USD Deliverable Interest Rate Swap
Jump to navigation Jump to search
30 Year USD Deliverable Interest Rate Swap Futures Contract Specs
|30 Year USD Deliverable Interest Rate Swap Futures
|Contract Unit
|$1,000 per point ($100,000 per contract)
|Price Quotation
|Prices are made in terms of price points: 100 points plus net present value (NPV) of IRS that meets Delivery Standard, where NPV is present value of IRS fixed-rate payments minus present value of IRS floating-rate payments as of 3rd Wednesday of Delivery Month. Par is on the basis of 100 points.
|Trading Hours
|CME Globex:
|5 p.m. to 4 p.m., Sun-Fri.
|CME ClearPort:
|Sunday 5:00 p.m. - Friday 5:45 p.m. CT with no reporting Monday - Thursday from 5:45 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. CT
|Minimum Price Fluctuation
|1/32nd point ($31.25 per contract)
|Product Code
|CME Globex: B1U
CME ClearPort: B1U
Clearing: B1U
|Listed Contracts
|March Quarterly cycle (March, June, September, December)
|Settlement Method
|Termination of Trading
|Second London business day before 3rd Wednesday of futures Delivery Month. Trading in expiring contracts closes at 2:00 p.m. on the last trading day.
|Settlement Procedures
|Physical delivery of IRS that meets Delivery Standard. Clearing Acceptance Date and Clearing Effective Date = First CME Clearing Business Day preceding 3rd Wednesday of Delivery Month.
Delivery invoice price = IRS Initial Payment Amount, as determined by contract final settlement price, P:
If P < 100, then IRS Floating Rate Payer pays, and IRS Fixed Rate Payer receives,
$1,000 x ( P – 100 ) per contract, rounded to nearest penny.
If P ≤ 100, then IRS Fixed Rate Payer pays, and IRS Floating Rate Payer receives,
$1,000 x ( 100 – P ) per contract, rounded to nearest penny.
Daily Deliverable Interest Rate Swap Future Settlement Procedures"
|Position Limits
|CBOT Position Limits
|Exchange Rulebook
|Block Minimum
|Block Minimum Thresholds
|Price Limit or Circuit
|Price Limits
|Vendor Codes
|Quote Vendor Symbols Listing
|Delivery Procedure
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Improving Antibiotic Prescribing in Hospitals Can Make Health Care Safer
CDC calls on every hospital to use new checklist to improve prescribing practices
Press Release
Embargoed for: Tuesday, March 4, 2014, 1:00 ET
Contact: Media Relations
(404) 639-3286
A new Vital Signs report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that clinicians in some hospitals prescribe three times as many antibiotics than clinicians in other hospitals, even though patients were receiving care in similar areas of each hospital. In addition, about one-third of the time, prescribing practices to treat urinary tract infections and prescriptions for the critical and common drug vancomycin included a potential error – given without proper testing or evaluation, or given for too long.
The report also found that, in hospitals, a 30 percent reduction in use of the antibiotics that most often cause deadly diarrheal infections with Clostridium difficile can reduce these infections by more than 25 percent. The same antibiotics also prime patients for future super-resistant infections.
"Improving antibiotic prescribing can save today's patients from deadly infections and protect lifesaving antibiotics for tomorrow's patients," said CDC Director Tom Frieden, M.D., M.P.H. "Health care facilities are an important part of the solution to drug resistance and every hospital in the country should have a strong antibiotic stewardship program."
More than half of all hospitalized patients will get an antibiotic at some point during their hospital stay. The Vital Signs report showed that the most common types of infections for which hospital clinicians write prescriptions are urinary tract infections, lung infections and suspected infections caused by drug-resistant Staphylococcus bacteria, such as MRSA.
To help hospitals, whether large or small, develop antibiotic prescribing improvement programs (also called "antibiotic stewardship" programs), CDC released practical tools that include seven key elements, a self-assessment checklist, and an in-depth implementation document.
Checklist to Improve Antibiotic Prescribing
CDC recommends that every hospital implements a stewardship program that includes seven core elements:
- Leadership commitment: Dedicate the necessary human, financial, and IT resources.
- Accountability: Appoint a single leader responsible for program outcomes. Physicians have proven successful in this role.
- Drug expertise: Appoint a single pharmacist leader to support improved prescribing.
- Act: Take at least one prescribing improvement action, such as requiring reassessment of prescriptions within 48 hours to check drug choice, dose, and duration.
- Track: Monitor prescribing and antibiotic resistance patterns.
- Report: Regularly report prescribing and resistance information to clinicians.
- Educate: Offer education about antibiotic resistance and improving prescribing practices.
It is also critical to work with other health care facilities in the area to prevent infections, transmission, and resistance.
Through the National Healthcare Safety Network, the nation's most widely used healthcare-associated infection (HAI) tracking system, CDC is working to provide facilities, states, regions, and the nation with data needed to identify problem areas, measure progress of prevention efforts, and ultimately eliminate healthcare-associated infections.
"Today's antibiotics are miracle drugs, but they are endangered," said Arjun Srinivasan, M.D. CDC medical epidemiologist. "These new materials provide core elements and practical tools for beginning and advancing antibiotic stewardship programs."
The Vital Signs report follows several calls to action from CDC on antibiotic resistance including the Antibiotic Resistance Threats to the United States, 2013 report, the 2013 Get Smart about Antibiotics Week, and the upcoming Transatlantic Taskforce on Antimicrobial Resistance 2013 report.
CDC's Division of Healthcare Quality Promotion works to ensure patients are safe wherever they receive safe medical care. Ensuring that clinicians prescribe antibiotics correctly is critical to patient safety.
Vital Signs is a CDC report that appears on the first Tuesday of the month as part of the CDC journal Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, or MMWR. The report provides the latest data and information on key health indicators. These are cancer prevention, obesity, tobacco use, motor vehicle passenger safety, prescription drug overdose, HIV/AIDS, alcohol use, health care-associated infections, cardiovascular health, teen pregnancy, food safety and developmental disabilities.


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Dear Mom,
This time of year reminds me of the New Year's Resolution "trade" we did one year when I was growing up. You made my resolution: "Marylin will REALLY clean up her room, even under the bed." I made your resolution: "Mom will see that a clean room isn't the most important thing." We laughed and decided it was a pretty good experiment.
At this stage in my adult life, I have three favorite quotes about New Year's Resolutions:
"I hope that this year to come, you make mistakes…Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes…Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do It. Make your mistakes, next year and forever." ~Neil Gaiman
"Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one." ~Brad Paisley
"For last year's words belong to last year's language – And next year's words await another voice." ~T.S. Eliot
When you and Dad moved out of your house and into your care apartment, I saved boxes of your notebooks, Grandma's recipes, and files of writing submissions and records. Tucked in a file of newspaper articles and columns you'd kept over the years, there was an envelope filled with faded, fragile newspaper clippings. One was a New Year's Resolution by Ann Landers. There wasn't a date or newspaper header, so I didn't know if it had been written by Ann Landers herself, or by Eppie Lederer or Ruth Crowley, who wrote the column for many years. But it was an excellent New Year's Resolution, one definitely worth sharing:
"Let this coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do some of the things you've always wanted to do but couldn't find the time. Call up a forgotten friend. Drop an old grudge, and replace it with some pleasant memories. Vow not to make a promise you don't think you can keep. Walk tall, and smile more. You'll look 10 years younger. Don't be afraid to say, 'I love you.' Say it again. They are the sweetest words in the world."
You could have written this advice, Mom. Instead, you lived it, along with many other wonderful actions, and that has made the difference in many other lives. Thank you.
For all of us: 2012 has been a year of joys and sorrows. Individually and collectively we have celebrated life, faced fears, and grieved losses. On the eve of 2013, may we embrace the words of Alfred, Lord Tennyson: "Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering 'it will be happier'…"


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Theater staple dies, love for the arts lives on
Ruth Burkholder was described by a longtime friend as magical, a caring teacher, never negative and a priceless treasure.
"Ruthie," as her friend Gail Herring called her, was 77. She died at home Wednesday.
"When I first moved here, Ruthie's name was synonymous with Holland Civic Theatre," Hering said. Burkholder and a few others "were the backbone of the Holland Civic Theatre."
Burkholder was involved with the theater for several years and was president of the organization for some time.
Hering moved to the area in 1975 and met Burkholder soon after, becoming involved with the theater herself. Herring talked Thursday about Burkholder's love of children, how she was an elementary school music teacher and her drive to start Avalon School of the Arts in Holland Township with her daughter-in-law, Marie Burkholder.
"Ruthie is such a special person," Herring said. "She never said a bad thing about anyone or anything. She was never negative."
The way she was with children "was magical," Herring said, adding she wanted children to be exposed to and love the arts the way she did.
"I don't know if she loved children or arts more, but it doesn't matter," Herring said.
Burkholder would wake up at 5 a.m., shovel the snow in front of the theater, teach music to children and be somehow involved in four different plays, her friend said.
"She was an amazing, amazing woman who never blew her own horn."
Burkholder leaves behind her only child, Rich, his wife Marie and their two children. Arrangements will be announced later by Lakeshore Memorial Services of Holland.
Avalon School of the Arts will continue on, Herring said. Rich is a musician. Marie is a teacher. On one of her last good days, Ruthie talked about the legacy of the school, Herring said.
"She was a quiet, priceless treasure," Herring said.
— Follow this reporter on Facebook or Twitter, @SentinelNetty.


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Using math models to make predictions: How vegetation competes for rainfall in dry regions
The greater the plant density in a given area, the greater the amount of rainwater that seeps into the ground. This is due to a higher presence of dense roots and organic matter in the soil. Since water is a limited resource in many dry ecosystems, such as semi-arid environments and semi-deserts, there is a benefit to vegetation to adapt by forming closer networks with little space between plants.
Hence, vegetation in semi-arid environments (or regions with low rainfall) self-organizes into patterns or "bands." The pattern formation occurs where stripes of vegetation run parallel to the contours of a hill, and are interlaid with stripes of bare ground. Banded vegetation is common where there is low rainfall. In a paper published last month in the SIAM Journal on Applied Mathematics, author Jonathan A. Sherratt uses a mathematical model to determine the levels of precipitation within which such pattern formation occurs.
"Vegetation patterns are a common feature in semi-arid environments, occurring in Africa, Australia and North America," explains Sherratt. "Field studies of these ecosystems are extremely difficult because of their remoteness and physical harshness; moreover there are no laboratory replicates. Therefore mathematical modeling has the potential to be an extremely valuable tool, enabling prediction of how pattern vegetation will respond to changes in external conditions."
Several mathematical models have attempted to address banded vegetation in semi-arid environments, of which the oldest and most established is a system of partial di?erential equations, called the Klausmeier model.
The Klausmeier model is based on a water redistribution hypothesis, which assumes that rain falling on bare ground infiltrates only slightly; most of it runs downhill in the direction of the next vegetation band. It is here that rain water seeps into the soil and promotes growth of new foliage. This implies that moisture levels are higher on the uphill edge of the bands. Hence, as plants compete for water, bands move uphill with each generation. This uphill migration of bands occurs as new vegetation grows upslope of the bands and old vegetation dies on the downslope edge.
In this paper, the author uses the Klausmeier model, which is a system of reaction-diffusion-advection equations, to determine the critical rainfall level needed for pattern formation based on a variety of ecological parameters, such as rainfall, evaporation, plant uptake, downhill flow, and plant loss. He also investigates the uphill migration speeds of the bands. "My research focuses on the way in which patterns change as annual rainfall varies. In particular, I predict an abrupt shift in pattern formation as rainfall is decreased, which dramatically affects ecosystems," says Sherratt. "The mathematical analysis enables me to derive a formula for the minimum level of annual rainfall for which banded vegetation is viable; below this, there is a transition to complete desert."
The model has value in making resource decisions and addressing environmental concerns. "Since many semi-arid regions with banded vegetation are used for grazing and/or timber, this prediction has significant implications for land management," Sherratt says. "Another issue for which mathematical modeling can be of value is the resilience of patterned vegetation to environmental change. This type of conclusion raises the possibility of using mathematical models as an early warning system that catastrophic changes in the ecosystem are imminent, enabling appropriate action (such as reduced grazing)."
The simplicity of the model allows the author to make detailed predictions, but more realistic models are required to further this work. "All mathematical models are a compromise between the complexity needed to adequately reflect real-world phenomena, and the simplicity that enables the application of mathematical methods. My paper concerns a relatively simple model for vegetation patterning, and I have been able to exploit this simplicity to obtain detailed mathematical predictions," explains Sherratt. "A number of other researchers have proposed more realistic (and more complex) models, and corresponding study of these models is an important area for future work. The mathematical challenges are considerable, but the rewards would be great, with the potential to predict things such as critical levels of annual rainfall with a high degree of quantitative accuracy."
With 2013 being the year of "Mathematics of Planet Earth (MPE)," mathematics departments and societies across the world are highlighting the role of the mathematical sciences in the scientific effort to understand and deal with the multifaceted challenges facing our planet and our civilization. "The wider field of mathematical modeling of ecosystem-level phenomena has the potential to make a major and quite unique contribution to our understanding of our planet," says Sherratt.
More information: Pattern Solutions of the Klausmeier Model for Banded Vegetation in Semi-arid Environments V: The Transition from Patterns to Desert, epubs.siam.org/doi/abs/10.1137/120899510
Journal information: SIAM Journal on Applied Mathematics
Provided by Society for Industrial and Applied Mathematics


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Disclaimer the links to books referenced in this post, contain Amazon Affiliate Links.
Many years ago, I attended a training course where we were encouraged to follow the acronym OWLS in our teacher-child interactions. OWLS stood for
Children are naturally full of curiosity. Sometimes questions are asked as a way of thinking out loud and sometimes asked directly to obtain an answer from an adult. In both scenarios, if we follow OWLS we will discover a great deal about the children's way of thinking and enable them to provide their own hypotheses.
If we are to support, rather than limit, children's developing understanding, we need to allow them to help us recapture some of the wonder and innocence we have lost and to gain insight into their struggles to make sense of what is often a confusing and worrying world. Teaching is not about imposing our views, concerns or values on others. It is about enabling children to carry out their own investigations and draw their own conclusions. (Margaret Edgington – The Nursery Teacher in Action)
My children watched the fluff flying around the playground and wondered what it was. I'm not sure if they wanted a direct answer from me or a means of discussing possibilities together. I took it as the latter and listened to their thoughts.
The children used their existing knowledge about fairies, clouds, snow and cushion fillers to create hypotheses. They also borrowed ideas from the familiar story Cloudland by John Birningham to create a new story. Their answers could be a springboard to a project where the children create worlds, stories and characters involving the mysterious fluff.
Jerome Bruner explains that when we see children as thinkers, understanding is fostered through collaboration and discussion. The child is encouraged to express their views to achieve a meeting of minds with others with different views.
As the discussion ensued, the girls used their senses to explore the material and build on what they already know about the world to find answers. My role was to build an exchange of understanding between the two children and myself, to find the roots of the children's systematic knowledge.
As we turned the corner we found a clump of the fluffy stuff.
The children began to construct even more elaborate stories, connecting with worlds they had previously imagined.
Encouraging these moments to develop into projects is described by Carolyn Edwards in The Hundred Languages of Children. She describes the role of the teacher in Reggio Schools.
The teachers constantly pay close attention to the children's activity. They believe that when children work on a project of interest to them, they will naturally encounter problems and questions they will want to investigate. The teachers' role is to help the children discover their own problems and questions. At that point, moreover, they will not offer ready solutions but instead help children to focus on a problem or difficulty and formulate hypotheses. Their goal is not so much to facilitate learning in the sense of making it smooth or easy, but rather to stimulate it by making problems more complex, involving or arousing. They ask the children what they need in order to do experiments – even when they realise that a particular approach or hypothesis is not "correct". They serve as the children's partners, sustaining the children and offering assistance, resources and strategies to get unstuck when encountering difficulties – Carolyn Edwards.
I wonder how many rich learning opportunities are missed in our school system because there isn't time to slow down and teach in this way? Perhaps, all the more reason to share these experiences with our children when they are at home.
The children went on to discuss the 'fluff' with their friends. One friend told them it comes from a tree and they thought it was Dogwood. The next question was 'What is a dogwood tree?'. This will be the next step in their discoveries.


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Small businesses at risk of hacker invasion
Randell Heath isn't sure how hackers got into his company's website — all he knows is a supplier called, saying the site had become an online store selling Viagra and Cialis.
The problem might have been at the company that hosts the site. It might have been that Heath's passwords weren't strong enough. But the invasion taught Heath a lesson that computer experts say many small-business owners still need: Keeping your company's computers and online sites safe isn't a one-time operation, but requires continual vigilance as new kinds of attacks emerge.
"I'm planning on attending a 'Cybersecurity for Small Business' briefing," said Heath, president of Coldsweep, a Mountain Green, Utah-based company that uses dry ice to clean surfaces.
The chances of a small business being invaded, of having computers, smartphones, tablets and even bank accounts hacked because of poor cybersecurity, are rapidly growing. And some of the very things small businesses are encouraged to do to make themselves more visible, like having blogs, also can make them more vulnerable.
Symantec, a maker of computer security software, analyzed threats and cyberattacks that its network encountered and found that 43 percent of all cyberattacks in 2015 targeted small businesses.
Just from 2014 to 2015, Symantec saw a 36 percent increase in new malware, and a nearly 80 percent increase in new variations of the malware targeting Android users. The company also counted one instance of malware in every 220 emails, a bigger risk than one in 244 in 2014. And even after all the warnings, a primary culprit was attachments or links that employees click on, allowing hackers to damage or delete files, track a user's actions or steal data like passwords.
Invasions that render a computer's files unusable unless the user pays a ransom also have surged. Cybercriminals who use this method are aggressive — one variation of ransomware attacked an estimated 100,000 computers a day within weeks of its release last year, according to the FBI.
MORE: Email security: These steps can stop the hackers
@ISSUE: Beware the hack attack
Steep costs
The costs of an invasion can be steep. Heath estimates he lost $10,000 in business because the site was down. He didn't have to pay to have the website rebuilt, because his business was part of an incubator where tech help was available for free. But re-creating a website could run a business well into the thousands of dollars.
Many owners believe they don't have the resources — human or financial — to keep their companies safe, which takes keeping up with frequent security updates for software and equipment.
"The CEO is also the marketing person and also the (information technology) person. They simply don't have the wherewithal to manage computing platforms day to day," said Tom Desot, chief information officer at Digital Defense Inc., which helps companies protect against cyberattacks.
Desot estimates that a company with 30 to 50 employees might have to spend upward of $50,000 initially to give all its equipment the best possible protection, which includes sophisticated software and firewalls to keep intruders out, and then thousands each year to keep their security up to date. Smaller companies would have a much lower expense, but many owners still shy away from a cost that can seem prohibitive.
But there's a bigger problem: owners' willful ignorance, said Diana Burley, a professor at George Washington University whose expertise includes cybersecurity.
"You don't necessarily understand how vulnerable you are, because you think, why would someone target me? I don't have that much in assets, I'm not lucrative, why would I be a target," she said. "We operate in an environment of complacency."
Some owners don't pay attention to notices about patches or updates from computer or software makers, Burley said. Those downloads often contain security improvements because tech companies have discovered problems that make their products more vulnerable to attack.
One solution many small businesses use is to hire a company that monitors computer systems and/or websites and makes sure they stay up to date. The cost for many small enterprises can be several hundred dollars a month.
MORE: Area code scam: Don't get suckered
MORE: Why schools are teaching cybersecurity
Simple precautions
But computers can still be vulnerable. Owners often don't take the simplest precautions such as making sure passwords they and their employees use are hard to find or guess for thieves using computers called bots that search for vulnerabilities, said Rick Hogan, CEO of Bleevit Interactive, a website design company based in Reston, Virginia.
A weak password and a lackadaisical approach to website maintenance allowed hackers to break into the site of one of Hogan's clients, a family-owned restaurant business. The criminals created additional pages of pornography that showed up in search results, and the intrusion went on for months because the owners didn't check their site. Hogan's company cleaned up the site, but the damage to the restaurant's reputation persisted — its website address was flagged as pornography.
"We couldn't put a link for them on Facebook for six months," Hogan said.
Many owners don't consider when they download software or apps for their phones and tablets that those could contain malware. Even on a legitimate website, thieves sometimes attach invasive programs to ads. And using public Wi-Fi — convenient but usually lax on security — makes it easy for hackers using scanners to steal information if people log into email or bank accounts.
But many problems have solutions. Owners can start by looking for the same kind of briefing Heath sought out. Setting up a virtual private network, or VPN, can make it safe to conduct your business over public Wi-Fi, suggests Aaron Hanson, a product marketing executive with Symantec. A VPN allows information to be sent so it can't be read by cybercriminals that might intercept it. Owners also should investigate an app or plugin before they download it, and emphasize — again — that employees shouldn't click on unfamiliar links or attachments.
Businesses also can back up their data with a security company that could restore most if not all of their files in the event of ransomware or other attack.
David Cingari reaped the benefits of backing up a year ago, when an employee at his catering company came in around 7:30 a.m. to find her computer was taken hostage by ransomware. When she logged in, she got a notification that her files had been encrypted, or locked up so they couldn't be read, and that it would take paying a ransom to get them unlocked.
"I just freaked out," recalled Cingari, owner of David's Soundview Catering in Stamford, Connecticut. But he quickly called the company that maintains his systems. Technicians replaced his files with safe ones that had been backed up offsite. Instead of losing $30,000 in sales and the cost of being robbed of all its information, the company was back in business around 10 a.m.
"That made it so effortless," he said.