text:
There's only one thing we know for sure about the future: It'll be weird, and you can't really prepare for it. Just imagine trying to tell someone in 2000 how to prepare for life in 2011. But luckily, there's one surefire way to brace yourself for another round of future shock: by reading a slew of great satires, about people trapped in weird and incomprehensible worlds.
So if you really want to future-proof yourself, here are 10 satirical novels that could help.
Top image: Magrathea by Microbot 23 on Deviant Art.
1. Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
David Foster Wallace's masterpiece takes place in a twisted dystopia where the calendar years are named after corporate products, and apocalyptic imagery is everywhere — including in Eschaton, a weird kind of tennis game that simulates nuclear war. Against this backdrop of oppressive weirdness, Wallace explores themes of addiction and self-destruction, including the novel's probable protagonist, Hal, who tries to control his marijuana intake but winds up becoming too addled to speak. (This is not a spoiler, it's in chapter one.) And then there's the Entertainment — a movie so entertaining that people watching it become unable to work or to do anything meaningful. It's one of those novels that's difficult to summarize, but when you become immersed in it, you emerge with a sense that you're staring into the heart of the intricate weird structure that wrecked Hal Incandenza. At the very least, you might finish Infinite Jest with a bit more heightened awareness of your own tendency to self-destruct in the face of all the strangeness.
2. Cat Country by Lao She
Lao She is arguably one of China's greatest novelists, although Cat Country is not his best work — that honor belongs to Rickshaw Boy/Camel Xiangzi. Still, Cat Country is often called the first Chinese work of science fiction, and it's got more than enough barbs and clever observations to make it worth reading. In a nutshell, Cat Country's narrator travels to Mars, which he finds inhabited by a civilization of cats, that's on the brink of collapse due to internal decadence and decades of abuse by outsiders. It's a satire on 1930s China, with its seemingly hopeless social problems and foreign depredations, but it's actually a pretty universal look at being on the receiving end of imperialism. And how people who are oppressed often make their situation worse with in-fighting and cluelessness, instead of fighting back effectively. (Oh, and there's a lot of stuff about why Chinese people choose to smoke opium, which was foisted on them by the British.) One especially trenchant part: A group of leftists want to found a new society based on the peasants and workers, "but they didn't have the foggiest notion of what agriculture was, or what work was."
3. Gridlock by Ben Elton
If you're an American, you might not know who Elton is — but you've probably admired his work, especially his writing on Blackadder. And his first three novels form a kind of satirical science fiction trilogy, loosely focused on environmental issues. Stark is about rich people plotting to escape an Earth on the verge of destruction, in a fleet of rockets. This Other Eden is similarly about everybody moving into airtight domes to escape from the environmental devastation. But the best of these environmentalist novels is probably Gridlock, which is about our propensity to solve the problem of traffic jams... by building more roads. A disabled inventor named Geoffrey has created a new kind of pollution-free car engine, and the car industry decides to have him killed before he can share it with anyone. These are not subtle novels — but they're more relevant than ever, especially since "surviving the future" is closely related to "solving environmental problems." And they're as funny as Blackadder.
4. Super Sad True Love Story by Gary Shteyngart
There was a lot of incredibly silly talk recently about how prescient this novel was, because it predicted stuff like transparent jeans and people being mean on Twitter. (Despite the fact that we already had transparent clothing and people being mean on Twitter, when Shteyngart wrote it.) Likewise, our economic collapse and the obsession with serving the needs of High Net Worth Individuals were already well underway long before this novel was published. But this novel does contain one of the best, and most darkly funny, accounts of economic self-destruction, and what people are willing to do to survive in the worst possible circumstances. And it really is super sad.
5. Make Room! Make Room! By Harry Harrison
Harrison's ultra-dark, way-depressing novel about an overpopulated future world — a world with 7 billion people in it! — became the basis for Soylent Green, but the novel is more about the problems of overpopulation. Including water shortages, pollution, rampant crime and riots. Not nearly as funny as some of the other books on this list, or as Harrison's other books, Make Room is still a great dark look at a world with too many people in it. For more on a world gone mad with overpopulation, and the subsequent oppression of the elderly, check out Boomsday by Christopher Buckley. For a more upbeat look at an overpopulated world, check out The World Inside by Robert Silverberg.
6. Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift
The original novel about culture shock, from the satirist who gave us "A Modest Proposal." (Yes, Jack Black's hideous movie was based on a book.) Lemuel Gulliver travels around the world, encountering tiny little people and giant people, and a floating city of highly advanced but impractical people, and finally, a land of horse-people. Along the way, he learns that human nature is inherently corrupted and that no society is ever perfect, and that everybody has their own weird beliefs and cultural disputes. Probably no other book can do more to prepare you for futureshock than Gulliver's Travels.
7. Bored of the Rings
One of the most successful parodies of all time, this Harvard Lampoon-authored spoof of Tolkien's Lord of the Rings remains in print decades later — and it's a great antidote to whatever the latest "struggle against ultimate evil" the people in charge want you to take part in. Just try thinking of your culture's latest epic heroes as being named stuff like "Dildo Bugger" and you'll quickly realize how silly the whole thing is.
8. Machine Man by Max Barry
Barry has made a career out of writing trenchant novels about the evils of capitalism and corporations that become like unto nation states, with books like Jennifer Government and The Company. But with Machine Man, he combines an evil corporation with another theme — our tendency to augment ourselves with technology. It starts with smart phones and ends with replacing most of our bodies with cybernetic spare parts — and Barry suggests that this technology may make us feel more free and independent at first, but eventually it'll make us the property of our corporate masters, unable even to move without their permission. Because technology can be taken away, or remote-controlled by those in power.
9. War With the Newts by Karel Capek
Like Cat Country, this is another famous satirical science fiction novel from the 1930s, and it comes from the man who gave us the word "robot." In War With the Newts, a sailor discovers a race of intelligent newts who can use tools and learn new tasks. He puts them to work shucking oysters, and soon they're being adopted around the world, doing more and more complex tasks, eventually leading to huge underwater building projects. The human race rushes to give the newts more complex tools and weapons — what could possibly go wrong? Some have described this book as a metaphor for the rise of Nazism, but it has broader applications... including a discussion of humans' tendency to believe we can get something for nothing, and our eagerness to destroy ourselves with the latest shortcut to wealth.
10. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Douglas Adams' masterwork starts as a satire on bureaucracy — Arthur Dent's house is going to be demolished by a hidebound council, and then the same fate befalls the whole planet, thanks to the hideous Vogons. But H2G2 becomes a much broader satire, coming to encompass the quest for meaning in the universe and the true randomness of everything. This is the only novel which tells you how to carry on after the destruction of the entire planet, which makes it immensely valuable for that reason alone. But like a lot of the books on this list, it's also a tremendous satire on human nature, exposing all of our pettiness and idiocy. This book (and really the whole series) shows how our lives and deaths are ultimately futile... but then reveals what happens to us if we embrace futility: we become like Marvin the Paranoid Android. And nobody wants that.
Additional reporting by Gordon Jackson and MaryKate Jasper.


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[Pages 191-195]
Memories of the Hashomer Hatza-ir Movement
By Leah Ring (Teichman)
I was only a little girl, and I could not understand why the students, friends of my brother Motyo and my sister Blimeh, came to our house night after night to sing and converse. My parents did not know the topics of their discussions, and perhaps even closed their ears deliberately.
These were the first meetings of the Hashomer movement, which was illegal and had no hall in which to hold its activities.
The gymnasium authorities investigated these activities assiduously. I remember how a mysterious figure appeared in our yard one winter evening, came up to the lit window and, after a while, went away. The next day everything was cleared up. One by one, everyone who had attended the meeting was called into the office of the gymnasium principal, Lambert, for the sin of belonging to the Zionist organization Hashomer. Of course, my brother and sister came home late from school that day. The lots were cast and the decree issued: all of the boys and girls who had participated in the meeting were expelled from the gymnasium.
After certain influential parents intervened and accepted responsibility, and with the help of a great deal of money, which went toward the establishment of the gymnasium library then in its inception, the punishment was nullified.
A few years later, we began to see groups of Shomrim in full uniform, hiking around on the outskirts of town. A Hebrew song was on their lips, as well as many words of Hebrew speech. Publicity events were organized, related to various festivals and occurrences in the Land of Israel.
Most of our actions were based upon a clear worldview. We believed absolutely in our clandestine and socialist-oriented Zionism. It gave us the strength to stand strong in the face of the many humiliations suffered by our Hashomer chapter.
Throughout the year, we would assemble on Wednesdays in our Shomer local (our meetinghouse,) which was usually located in the poor Jewish neighborhoods, where the craftsmen, market vendors, and day laborers lived. (This was where the Rohatyn ghetto was later established.) These neighborhoods, far away from the Gentile quarters, became thickly muddy whenever it rained. They answered our need to be hidden from Gentile eyes, and the investigation of the school authorities.
Here, without anxiety, we could sing the Hebrew songs that came to us from Israel, and dance and rejoice without fear. We were among our people.
The locals were certainly suspicious of us, these children, boys and girls keeping company without supervision. More than once the door opened suddenly, and a prying neighborhood man or women would stare at us through inquiring eyes. They did not understand that the raucousness that rang out from the local issued out of the purity and innocence of our youth. Only a few members of the chapter were fortunate enough to receive their parents' patient support. Most fought fiercely with their parents, and their participation in the chapter was for the most part secretive.
[Photo #1, p. 192 : The 'Ariye' group of Hashomer Hatza-ir, Rohatyn, 1919. From the top right: Tsvi Milstein, Zushe Brik, Yesheya Frayvald, Izi Holtz, Nusi Reis, unknown, Itsi Holtz, Samush Zeidler.
Photo #2, p. 192: Hashomer Hatza-ir of Rohatyn, costumed for a Purim play to benefit of Keren Kayemet L'Yisroel]
Many in the large, adult Zionist circles were sympathetic toward Hashomer Hatza-ir. Most of the community, however, was wary of the leftist Zionist youth movements, and did not hesitate to describe them as Bolsheviks. Those who took responsibility for our group before the Polish authorities were called Opieka Organizacji 'Zwiazek Mloziezy Zydowskiej Haszomer Hacair.' The class separatism that was endemic to every Jewish city did not pass over Rohatyn, and it was a matter of great surprise that respectable children could possibly mix in one basket with the children of the poor and the craftsmen. In the case of parents such as mine, who resigned themselves to it, there was always some respectable man or woman who took the time to remind them that they should not be so resigned: The Shomrim are communists, Bolsheviks, and they shame the upper classes.
My parents were Zionists (especially my father,) but they were constantly troubled by the thought that their children were going to leave them, their property, and their possessions, and immigrate to Israel where they would be poor farmers. Our debates were bitter and drawn out. Often we managed to persuade them over to our opinion, but then they would be overcome by their feelings of love and pride and begin the debate anew.
I confess that the heat of our youthful bitterness pressed us on to radical action, fleeing the house, for instance, to attend summer encampments and assemblies. Mother shed her tears of despair, and I and other like me, though we believed in stifling our emotions in order to dedicate ourselves to the achievement of our goal, cried and cried, sorrowing at the way we were expected to behave.
The image of my parents on the occasion of my immigration to Israel is etched in the depths of my soul. My father and mother stand in the station, all alone on the platform beside the train that will carry me away from them. Tears are choked in our throats. When will we see each other again?
But my mother, who was widowed before the Shoah, declared repeatedly in every letter she wrote me how happy she was, how she thanked God that her children were in the Land of Israel. Over time she forgot all of the blows we had struck against her respectable motherly pride, and blessed the youthful restlessness that before had pained her so.
We dreamed modestly of the kibbutz. We could not possibly have imagined the modern kibbutzim of today, with their well-organized agriculture, societies, training programs, joint ventures, and so forth. Our youthful experiences accumulated in the course of a romantic, scouting life of nights spent beside the bonfire on nighttime excursions. In organized discussions we immersed ourselves in the study of Zionist issues, news of Israel, aspects of the labor movement, and socialism. At summer encampments we would race to stand in line to receive our meager portions of food. Our budget was limited, and often the full payment of four or five participants went to cover an additional ten.
Transportation to these encampments was, for the most part, very primitive. We traveled in black wagons, driven by farmers. Most years, preparation for the encampment including drawing a collection from a variety of sources, including individual and group donations, publicity events, and contributions from our few sympathizers.
For two weeks every year, we would gather in the bosom of our rich natural surroundings, the forests and the cool streams, together with other youth of the Galilee, including Hashomer chapters from a number of cities: Rohatyn, Brzezany, Pudhice, Neriyu, and Tarnopol.
I do not recall any periods of apathy or cynicism breaking out among the young pioneer movement of our city, although relatively few remained with the kibbutz movement following their immigration to Israel. Those who continued to call the kibbutz home now remain active in its affairs, and still dwell within its boundaries. Our children live with us, and there is even a generation of grandchildren on the kibbutz, whose grandparents came out of Rohatyn.
I have pleasant memories of my Hebrew education in Rohatyn. The authorities of the Polish gymnasium explicitly forbade us to study Hebrew, but not a single Zionist in Rohatyn submitted, and for many years we were concerned with finding Hebrew teachers for ourselves. As for me, I went to Hebrew classes secretly, in the evening, hidden from the eyes of my Gentile classmates.
We were affiliated with the Tarbut association in Poland, and they supplied us with the teachers that we needed. Later they sent an official to Rohatyn to establish a Hebrew nursery school and kindergarten.
In closing, I offer this short anecdote:
In March of 1959, Sheva Weiler, who was visiting Israel from the United States, stayed in my home on kibbutz Ayn-Hamiforats. In her youth she had been a leader in the Rohatyn chapter of Hashomer Hatza-ir. This was her first visit to an Israeli kibbutz. Everything was a startling discovery, and it all made her very happy, but the highpoint was when she encountered a friend in the dining hall whom she had known from the Hashomer encampments. He had been responsible for the cooking, and was in the habit of adding a repeta, that is, a little extra, to her portion of food. She ran across the length of the dining-hall, and, full of emotion, shouted, Do you remember me? You used to give me repeta! Repeta!
[Photo #1, p. 194: Uncaptioned picture of the Rohatyn Hashomer Hatza-ir chapter
Photo #1, p. 195: Field-work day, Shomrim of Rohatyn, 8/12/1919. Standing from the left: Uri Kartin (the leader,) Kuva Dam, unknown, Enge Shumer, Bronke Hornstein, Zev Barban, Dr. Yankev Kopferman, Attorney Shmuel Spiegel, Jack Faust, Grine Faust, Manye Kartin, Bokser Zusha, Meltsi Holtz, Chayke Maor, Ruzke Hoder, Junik Bumze, Huchbarg Feybush, Devora Leyner.]
A small occurrence, but much more significant than it seems. This same Sheva passed through the seven-levels-of-Hell that was the Shoah, but her happy memories of childhood, of the Shomrim encampments and the passion of the young people who participated in them, have not left her to this day. The same is true of all who were fortunate enough to be a part of this organization at some time.
In our city, Hashomer Hatza-ir lasted, despite resistance from the very beginning, from the twenties, till the Soviet occupation, when its members fled on foot to Vilna. There they joined up with the local Shomrim chapter, and its leader (Chaim Alon.)
[Pages 196-198]
By Yehosua Spiegel (Tel-Aviv)
There are some who remember the organization in the days when it was still called Hashomer. I am speaking here of a later period. Our forebears were the daughters of Yankev Leyter, Bruche and Miriam, who now live on the Hashomer Hatza-ir kibbutz. Reyze Striyer also managed to make it to Israel after the Shoah, and died there. Her son Buni lives on the kibbutz as well.
I recall the founders of the Hashomer Hatza-ir chapter in our city as Zev Altman, Blume Teichmen, and Shimshon Liebling. After these first few made aliyah (immigrated to Israel,) their places were taken by Lea Teichman, Michoel Noytler, Ariye Teichman, Tsvi Bratsfis, Kalman Katz, and Clara Greenfeld. They too went to Israel in their time, and can be found on the Hashomer Hatza-ir kibbutz. The only one missing is dear Tsvi Bratsfis, whom we affectionately nicknamed Barbaz. He put an end to his life, because of a false love.
Next comes the third generation (according to time of immigration): Yehoshua Spiegel, Avrom (Bumek) Cohen, Atke Goldhober, Chaim Alon, and Yeshayahu Klumberg. We even carried on in secret through a fourth generation: Elimelech Bratsfis, Klara Shuler, Rochel Strulicht, Chave Blutner, Gershon Goldhober, and many, many more.
What role did our chapter not fulfill in the city? With it we learned Hebrew, awakened our passion for Zionism and labor, circumnavigated the city on hikes, and held discussions in the bosom of nature. We argued and debated over books, sang songs in Hebrew, Yiddish, and Polish, and engaged in sporting and scouting activities.
[Photo #1, p. 196: The 'Chavatselet' group of Hashomer Hatza-ir, in 1919. From the right, first top row : Kinstler, Kupferman, Lipshits; Baum, Weiss, Shumer. In the middle, the leader of the troop, Etke Mandel. Below from the right: Lunke Bomze, Baum, and Malke Shvarts.]
Most of the time, we would cross the bridge on the river Gnila Lipa, march past Yosef Altman's house straight to the Laka field, not far from the brickyard of Mr. Alter Faust, of blessed memory. Often we competed for the field with the other youth organizations, but we never surrendered our strength.
Even our adversaries knew to appreciate Hashomer Hatza-ir, and we were not lacking in adversaries, whether from among the other strands of Zionism, the religious and traditional authorities, or those who simply opposed anything new. Over time we made it evident that our cause was an earnest one. We began to participate in summer encampments, and to travel to assemblies and administrative meetings having to do with financial matters and slowdowns in learning and activity. It must be remembered that most of the participants in our chapter assisted their parents in supporting the household, help that their parents could not do without. On this basis, bitter arguments often broke out between children and their families, and not everyone could weather them. With time, as we began increasingly to despair of leading a normal life in the exile of Poland, opposition weakened. But the appointed season had passed, and World War Two was already looming on the horizon.
We used the chapter as a beacon and a refuge from all of the bothers and obstacles of the outside world. In it we sought solutions to all of the questions that troubled us. We received knowledge and wisdom in the chapter. After a workday, we would crowd into the chapter auditorium, entering group by group from different corners. The group-leader would lecture us on a certain topic: Zionism, the history of the Jewish nation, news from Israel, Kibbutzim. Or he would open up a discussion on a literary matter that was central to our concerns, or offer a friendly clarification. In the older groups, it was the custom to distribute reading material, and every member, according to his turn and topic, had to make a presentation, and was thus trained to later receive responsibility for facilitating educational activities and leading new groups.
On Saturdays, we held nights of song and dance. We rejoiced in every new Israeli song, and did not merely learn their words and tune, but saw before our very eyes the nature and landscapes that they depicted. We also sang Yiddish songs, which expressed the social problems of the nation in exile. We went away to summer encampments, where we were far from the noise of the city and free from every yoke and limitation. These were not easy to organize. We assembled the means in what time we had, gathering food in the chapter facilities, and soliciting donations from men of means to cover the expenses of those in need. A chosen few among us were privileged to participate in leadership encampments. I remember the leadership encampment in Maksimeyts, where we were fortunate enough to spend a month with dear messengers from Israel. Thanks to them and their students, who afterwards returned to their cities, we were able to double our ranks.
We saw ourselves as trailblazers for the many that made aliyah after us, but sorrowfully the Rohatyn chapter was not to harvest the fruits appointed them, as only a few were able to immigrate to Israel before the Shoah Most remained, to suffer at the hands of the oppressor, may his memory be blotted out. Only two were saved: Tsvi Shtrulicht and Ariye Rusmen, who were abroad.
[Photo #1, p. 198: The 'Porachat' group of Hashomer Hatasaier in Rohatyn (4/2/1925.) In the center, group-leader Shaul Bader. From above right: Shlyme Rutroyber, Shmuel Teichman, Moshe Mot, Avigdor Hamburg, Michoel Kizl, Eliyahu Katz, Dovid Kartin, and Lybush Bloch.
[Photo #2, p. 198: The Hashomer Hatza-ir chapter in Rohatyn, at the departure of Yehoshua Spiegel for training.]
[Pages 199-202]
By Dov Kirshen, Haifa
Ha-Noar Ha-Tsioni was one of the Zionist and pioneer organizations that played the biggest role in shaping the image of the young Jewish generation in Rohatyn.
The movement began to organize in 1928, through the initiative of a group of students in the Polish gymnasium. In those days, most Jewish children studied in this gymnasium, because there were no other possibilities for Jewish boys and girls in the city. There were no professional schools, or any other kind, and most occupations were also closed off to the Jewish youth. Without any other choices, they were forced to attend this particular school.
But the State directorship of the gymnasium sought the Polonization of all city dwellers, especially the school children, through the imposition of many restrictions on the students. For instance, it was forbidden to speak Yiddish in the street, forbidden to participate in Jewish communal life, strictly forbidden to participate in any Zionist youth activities, and so forth. In response to this situation, the Jewish students sought adequate strongholds for themselves, illegal in the eyes of the gymnasium administration, where they could live Jewish lives, read Jewish books, hear news from the land of Israel, sing Hebrew songs, give expression to their Jewish and Zionist sentiments, and all this for several hours a week.
A group of twenty young people was organized, which met for discussions beside the well on the road to Parnuvke. On winter days, most often on Saturdays, they rented a room in a secret place, where they held their activities.
Similar groups organized at the same time in other cities. Soon these various groups banded together into a new youth movement, consisting mostly of high-school students, with its headquarters in Lvov. Its ideology was general Zionism, without additional leftist, rightist, or religious identification. This movement offered a place to young men and women, who saw a future as pioneers in the land of Israel, and also to those who then thought they would remain as activists for the Zionist cause in the cities of the exile.
The Rohatyn branch grew significantly after news arrived of the events in Israel in 1928: the slaughters in Hebron and Safed, and the activities of the Hagana in Jerusalem, Cholda, and other places. A great Zionist fervor grabbed hold of every sphere of Jewish youth in the city. Most of them signed up for immediate immigration to Israel, in order to participate in the defense of the settlement, and masses of them became members of pioneer youth movements. And so Ha-Noar Ha-Tsioni brought together large numbers of boys and girls of different ages, who organized into groups and troops, the older ones beginning preparation for aliyah.
We were as busy as ants in our chapter. We held meetings, discussions, lectures, games, holiday parties, excursions to the surrounding forests, and summer encampments. We learned Hebrew, Jewish history, and about the various strands of the Zionist movement. We worked on behalf of the Jewish National Fund. All of these activities had the educational purpose of preparing us for our future lives in the land of Israel. Members of the movement found in the nest (as we called the hall were we gathered) everything they lacked or could not find in the school or in their parents' houses. It was always happy there. They sang their beloved national songs, danced the Hora with great enthusiasm, built bonfires, heard lectures from their leaders on the state of the world, especially the Jewish world, and received answers to all of the questions that troubled them, and even to personal problems.
It is hard to describe the great dedication of he leaders of Ha-Noar Ha-Tsioni. They devoted every free movement to the movement's activities, in order to win the souls of the Jewish children, and to provide a Jewish, Zionist, and scouting corrective to their general education. The results were excellent. Most of the members of Ha-Noar Ha-Tsioni eventually immigrated to Israel, where they can now be found in every city and settlement in the land.
But the members of Ha-Noar Ha-Tsioni in Rohatyn were not restricted to the confines of the nest. Over time, the sphere of their activities widened. Emissaries went out from Rohatyn to all the cities and villages in the area, and brought the movement's ideology to the Jewish youth, thereby founding new branches in Brzezany, Pzemeszani, Pudhice, Burstein, Bukachovce, Weinelow, and other places. Thus, the nest in Rohatyn was transformed into a regional center for the movement, and its members became leaders in the regional branches.
Rohatyn members often also served as leaders in far away cities, lecturers at summer encampments, and heads of training centers. One member served a long time as the movement's national director in Galicia.
The older members of Ha-Noar Ha-Tsioni were actually involved in all kinds of communal activities in the city, and exerted an important influence on every matter that had to do with Zionism. In various elections, they devoted all of their energy to the campaign of the Zionist candidates. They were especially active in the elections for the Polish parliament and the Zionist congresses. As a centrist Zionist movement, standing between the rightist and leftist factions, Ha-Noar Ha-Tsioni served as bridge-builders in the city, between enemy camps so to speak. We should also recall the activities of the Histadrut Ha-Keren Kayemet Li-Noar, which was founded in Rohatyn for the most part by members of Ha-Noar Ha-Tsioni, who generally occupied the leadership role over a leftist and rightist membership drawn from every Jewish youth organization in the city.
[Photo #1, p. 200: Ha-Noar Ha-Tsioni of Rohatyn, on the immigration of B. Kirshen to Israel.
Photo #1, p. 201: Members of Stam-Tsioni and Ha-Noar Ha-Tsioni of Rohatyna meeting of two generations.]
Histadrut Ha-Keren Kayemet Li-Noar was a special Rohatyn creation. In no other place was such an association established. It had three objectives: 1) to carry out all of the activities of the Jewish National Fund in Rohatyn, including emptying the donation boxes, collecting money, organizing flower days, and so forth; 2) to gather new donations from every Jewish young man or woman in the city; 3) to attract the attention of all city-dwellers to the Zionist ideology, through lectures, discussions, and publicity events.
[Photo #2, p. 201: Ha-Noar Ha-Tsioni of Rohatyn, June 1930.]
There were also the public farewell-evenings, which were held for members of Ha-Noar Ha-Tsioni on the eve of their departure for Israel. These were organized in the great hall of the communal board, or in the halls of the Ukrainian gymnasium. These parties always drew a big crowd of people, who made use of the opportunity to express their respect for those who had done so much for the Jewish community of Rohatyn, and who stood as an example to all the youth in the city. Israeli singing and dancing went on until the wee hours, and in the morning the entire city accompanied the emigrant to the train station.
These were the activities of Ha-Noar Ha-Tsioni in Rohatyn. It was a seething cauldron of youth, full of lofty aspirations and strong enough to achieve the goals of its ideology. It is hard to make oneself believe that all of this is no more.
[Page 202]
Yitschak Bomze
Translated by Binyamin Weiner
The Chaluts (Pioneers) branch in our city was founded as a division of the national association of Galicia. The founders were Bulke Kupferman, who was also a member of the training and immigration boards, and myself, the writer of these lines.
We began our activities by organizing training squads and Hebrew classes, and our members sought out occupational training. A friend and I worked in Shabbatai Fishman's locksmith shop.
Our first major training activities took place in 1924, when we worked in Alter Faust's field. Over the course of three weeks, over twenty members participated.
In 1924, we founded a daughter organization, called Ha-Chalutz Ha-Tsayir (The Young Pioneer,) a general youth pioneer movement, led by Shaul Bader and Max Hochberg.
In 1925, I was privileged to receive the first certificate issued to our branch, and immigrated to Israel as the first official Chalutz from our city.
[Photo #1, p. 202: uncaptioned]
The Stam-Chalutz (General Pioneers) association was organized in Galicia as a sister movement to Ha-Shomer Ha-Tsayir, and even established its kibbutz in Israel under the auspices of Ha-Kibbutz Ha-Artsi. Even Rohatyn was not without this association.
[Page 203]
Translated by Binyamin Weiner
Gordonia was the last youth movement founded in our city. Among its founders were Avrum Hersh, Tsvi Brod-Ber, Yitschak Levanon, Yaakov Geller, and others. When it was first organized , the chapter was supported by Hitachdut (Unity), a sister organization.
Among the remnants of Gordonia privileged to fulfill their goals through immigration to Israel were Yitschak Levanon (who know lives in Mishmar Ha-Sharon,) and Yosef Yozef, who continues his printing trade in Pardes-Chana.
Hitachdut was worthy enough to see its members play a prominent role on the local Zionist board. Among its most important achievements was the establishment of the Israel Library Union, a cultural meeting place for all the Zionists in Rohatyn. Those active in Hitachdut included Tsvi Halpern, Yitschak Holtz, Shaul Bader, and others. The founders of the library included Chuna Wachman, Pinchas Spiegel, Meir Lewenter, and others.
[Photo #1, p. 203: Members of 'Gordonia' beside the well in Czercze
Photo #2, p. 204: The 'Gordonia' chapter in Rohatyn]
[Pages 204-205]
By David Kartin, Tel Aviv
The Rohatyn chapter of Betar, founded in 1929, was one of the biggest in the region. Its founders were Izia Sharir, Pinia Maor, Izia Bernstein, Vilosh Wieland, Shmuel Teichman, and Uri Kanter.
Before long, the chapter numbered nearly 100 members, divided into twelve groups (ranks.) The older members, when their time had come, joined the Tsohar (Revisionist Zionists.)
A few years later, Brit Ha-Chayil was founded in Rohatyn, led by Yulek Skolnik (an officer in the Polish army.) This organization gave its members, some 100 Jewish youths, military training, to prepare them for their future role in Israel. In addition, it provided vocational training to its members in Lvov, Brzezany, and elsewhere.
The Revisionist movement in Rohatyn drew from every class of youth, without regard for social origin: laborers, students, merchants, artisans, and so forth. Everyone held fast to the doctrine of Jabotinsky, of blessed memory.
Cultural activity was centered on the study of Jewish literature, and Jewish and world history. This activity was conducted in groups, and through bi-weekly general assemblies, where we listened to lectures on various topics. Members of Betar were especially diligent in their use of the Hebrew language, and when walking in the street, their lovely manner of speaking made a pleasant impression on Gentiles as well as Jews. And their appearances during readiness-drills struck confusion into the hearts of the enemies-of-Israel.
[Photo #1, p. 204: The elders of Betar: Simcha Faust, Meir Weisbraun, Meir Reiss, Shmuel Kartin (Teichman,) Yisroel Weinstock, Shmuel Acht, Moshe Bussgang, Tsvi Freiwald, Shmuel Teichman, and Maxi Zilber.
Photo #1, p. 205: The daughters of Betar: Regina Bergstreit, Atke Shar, Hinea Bussgang, Malke Boymrind, and Leah Skolnik.]
We excelled in sports as well, and our members trained in various sporting clubs. Our teams went through several changes of name: Z.K.S., Betar, and later Maccabee. Yosef Kartin was the captain. We were not only occupied with sports, but also with many preparatory activities, and with the pioneer training that had been set up in Rohatyn proper. Twenty pioneers immigrated to Israel: Chanina Feldblum, his sister Alde Feldblum, Tsvi Freiwald, Dovid Kartin, Feyge Hochberg, Uri Kanfer, Atke Kizel, Yechezkel Atner, and others.
After the Shoah, others came to Israel with their families: Simcha Faust, Shmuel Acht, and Moshe Bussgang. Yolek Skolnick, of blessed memory, perished during the Shoah, in a bunker.
Kuba Dam was prominent among the members of the Revisionist movement in Rohatyn. He took a position in the national office and was afterwards a member of the Revisionist world executive body, and there is truth to what is said about his being Jabotinsky's right-hand man. Today he lives in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
We who remain mourn all of the members of the movement who perished in the Shoah, and were never able to witness the fulfillment of their dream.
[Photo #2, p. 205: Yolek Skolnick (son of Chaim Skolnik).
Photo #3, p. 205: Pinia Maor (son of Meir).
Photo #1, p. 206: Revisionist gathering in Rohatyn.
Photo #2, p. 206: Simcha Faust, Zushe Top, Tsvi Freiwald, Shmuel Teichman, Michael Kizel, Eli Katz, Uri Kanfer, and Muni Halpern.]
[Pages 207-212]
Tzvi Skolnick, Tel-Aviv
A boy's day was full to overflowing. School, sports, youth groups, and first dates with girls filled out lives, and so we never contemplated the blood storm on the horizon. Until the last days, our lives coursed along regularly, with school taking the primary place. But fortune did not shine her face upon every young person. Not everyone crossed the threshold of the gymnasium, because tuition was high and many parents could not afford to cover it. There were two gymnasiums in Rohatyn, one Ukrainian, and the other Polish. Jews did not attend the Ukrainian school, because the language of instruction was Ukrainian and because no Jew was fortunate enough to receive the matriculation certificate sold by the Polish education bureau. Therefore, the Jewish youth turned to the Polish gymnasium, named for the priest Pyotr Skarga.
The gymnasium was located in a broad, four-story building, equipped with laboratories, sports facilities, and various machines. This gymnasium, in contrast to the Ukrainian one, was full of privileged students. The education bureau sold the matriculation certificates. It was coeducational, boys and girls studying together, Poles alongside Jews. But not every Jewish boy or girl was accepted into the school, even if they were able to meet the demanded fee, because the gymnasium enforced a quota system for minority children, in accordance with the percentage of the general population they represented. Even for the Jewish student who overcame this obstacle, completion of studies was uncertain. The education bureau did its best to fail Jewish students on exams, even though they were among the most distinguished students.
[Photo #1, p. 207: Sixth grade of the state high school1926
Photo #1, p. 208: Prof. Schlesinger with Jewish gymnasium students in Rohatyn]
In order to minimize the influence of Jewish students in the Polish universities a quota system was employed. In addition, Jewish students did not receive any scholarships. There was no thought of releasing students from their studies on Shabbat or holidays. They were only free on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. No anti-Semitism was experienced from the students directly, though no close friendships were formed either. All students wore the school uniform, bearing the number of the school, 593, on a special insignia. This was at the order of the education bureau, in order to facilitate the supervision of students outside the walls of the school. A gymnasium student was forbidden to be in any public place, cinema, theater, or street after nine in the evening, and anyone caught out after that hour was in for punishment at the hands of the administration.
At this public school, the Jewish students were provided with instruction in Jewish religion and history. The teacher was Yitschok Schlesinger (now in Israel) who also taught mathematics and zoology, and who represented his Jewish students before the administration, until he transferred to the gymnasium in Zlotchew. Shtekel from Dubromil took his place.
Students in our gymnasium, like students throughout Poland at the time, were organized into pre-military training corps (similar to our youth-battalions,) and no one was excused. Many weeks, several hours of general instruction were given over to training activities. At the gymnasium, there were also sport, dance, and drama clubs, in which Jews participated alongside Christians.
In later years, before the war broke out, when anti-Semitic winds began to blow through Poland, a melancholy spirit pervaded the atmosphere of the gymnasium as well. A new principal came, whose deep-seated anti-Semitic inclinations were felt by the students with foreboding. Many dropped out mid-course, and those who graduated and had their certificates in hand found the gates of the universities locked to them. Those students who wanted to pursue their higher education were forced to turn to universities outside of Poland. Few of the gymnasium graduates were able to do this, and most turned their eyes to the land of Israel.
The community provided our Jewish spiritual nourishment; what we would call today out Jewish consciousness. It organized an evening Hebrew school (Hebreishe shule,) where the Jewish youth could acquire knowledge of Judaism, literature, Jewish history, Tanach (Hebrew Bible,) and Talmud. These evening classes were very successful, and were a great help to every student and young person who sought to learn about the history of his nation and the treasures of its culture. The community planned to build and assembly hall for the Jews of the town, and even constructed its frame, but then war broke out and this skeleton passed into the hands of the conquerors, who finished it and made it into a general assembly hall.
But youth does not live by book alone, then as now. As in Tel-Aviv so in Rohatynthe young people were preoccupied with sports, specifically soccer. And Rohatyn was proud to have a soccer team that one it fame throughout the region: the Z.K.S. (Zydowski Klub Sportowy,) organized under the auspices of the Betar youth movement. The living spirits of the club were Yulek Skolnick, of blessed memory, and Yozef Kartin, long may he live. Above all, the team was devoted to soccer, and even met with success and satisfying victories. It competed against Polish and Ukrainian teams. I still remember the game against a Ukrainian team in the village of Pudhice, which they one eight to one. After the game, the Jews of the village lavished the players of Z.K.S. with adoration, appreciating the team for having defended the honor of the Jewish people. Living among hostile Gentiles, it was rare for the Jews to have an opportunity to humble their anti-Semitic neighbors, and so the village Jews derived great satisfaction from this soccer game. The players themselves were very devoted to their team, and even personal honor and ambition were not considered when the team faced defeat. An example of this was the behavior of Yozef Kartin, who was angry with his team for a long time (I no longer remember why,) but when he saw that they were in danger of losing a match he took the field and led his team to victory. He was the captain of the team, and his teammates on the soccer squad were Hershko Leder, Dulek Faust, Simcheh Faust, Yankev Faust, Yankev Oster, Chaim Blaustein, Moshe Erlich, and others.
The clubhouse was open everyday, and was used as a place to meet friends by young people of every class. Even the students, who were forbidden, as already mentioned, to leave their houses in the evening, and were forbidden to join any organizations, found here, under the pretence of sport, the opportunity to meet freely and without worry. Youth from all strands and factions of the town belonged to the soccer team, and political tensions were never a factor. Even though the clubhouse was under the auspices of Betar, an atmosphere of pure sport pervaded it. Everyone there strove to elevate the proud spirit of Jewish youth, to increase their own self-estimation, and to engage vigorously in the physical culture that had been so foreign to Jews throughout the years of exile.
The clubhouse was active until the outbreak of war, when with the entry of the Red Army it was transformed into a youth center for all of Rohatyn.
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Updated 17 Dec 2005 by LA


text:
Blood on the Tracks: The Aurora Theater Shooting Hearing
Mass murder suspect James Holmes stared straight ahead in a Colorado court Monday morning, even when police witnesses broke down on the stand.
The Batman movie Dark Knight Rises was still playing on the screen in the early morning hours of July 20th when the first police officers entered Theater 9 of the Century 16 multiplex in Aurora, Colorado. The film was playing through a theater thick with tear gas and smoke; through a room filled with the screams of victims and empty bullet casings; through a scene of carnage so bloody that two police officers, six months later, could not recount what they had seen that night without choking up on the witness stand in open court.
The movie played on as officers of the Aurora Police Department began to assist the wounded and mark the dead. It played on as the strobe lights flashed and the alarm sounds wailed and the cellphones rang. It played on as the first responders shouted at one another over the din to better secure the room. And it was only after some of this terrible and grim business had been accomplished, and some order had been restored to one of the worst crime scenes in Colorado history, that the film stopped being shown on the screen inside Theater 9.
By this time, the suspect, James Holmes, was in custody, just feet away from the inside of the theater, on the other side of the back exit door which police say he used both to enter the theater with his weapons and to exit from it when he was done. By the time the movie stopped, Holmes was handcuffed and stripped of his body armor, and his gas mask, and his helmet, and had told the police that his apartment, not too far away, was booby-trapped with an "improvised explosive device" -- the exact words Holmes used, according to the police.
By the time the film had stopped playing, some of the victims had made it outside, trailing so much blood that one officer at the scene testified that he nearly slipped on his way into the theater. "Most of them were covered with blood," said Aurora Police Officer Justin Grizzle, "lots of blood." A former paramedic, Grizzle made four trips in his patrol car to area hospitals that night. He told the court that when he made turns in his patrol car he could hear the blood of the victims sloshing around on the floor of the back seat.
The Hearing
This is how Colorado prosecutors began the preliminary hearing in the case of Colorado v. Holmes, a case about wholesale murder and mental illness that is unlikely ever to answer the questions we have about why it happened. It took roughly three hours Monday morning in Arapahoe County District Court for four uniformed police officers to begin to tell the story of how they came upon James Holmes; and why they think he's the man who killed 12 people, and wounded 58 more, after wrapping himself in body armor and setting off tear gas.
State law permits the defense to request such a hearing -- to force prosecutors to establish the contours of their case under the low "probable cause" standard. For the defense, since the client hasn't yet even been arraigned or entered a plea of not guilty, it's a relatively free preview of some of the state's evidence. For prosecutors, it's a chance to share more of the story with the public -- meaning potential jurors. Some preliminary hearings can an hour or so. Because of the nature of the crime, this one is expected to take the better part of this week.
The courtroom Monday morning was full, with the typical bride's side/groom's side dichotomy. On one side of the aisle were the journalists who are covering the story. On the other side of the aisle were the survivors and family members of the victims, and victims' rights advocates, and members of the general public. There were a great many more tears on the one side than the other. And there were more uniformed sheriff deputies inside that courtroom than I ever remember seeing at any of the federal terror trials I have covered in Washington or New York.
And at the center of it all was Holmes. He now has a full dark beard, and his hair, too, is dark brown and bushy. He looks a bit now like Tom Hanks in Castaway -- or maybe Theodore Kaczynski -- only less disheveled. He never once turned to face the gallery. I did not even see him turn slightly to face his defense team or to utter a word to them. He barely moved his head during the morning in court. He just stared ahead, blinking frequently at the testifying officers, even when they glared at him or were moved to tears by the story they were telling.
The Arrest
"When I first saw him," Aurora Police Officer Jason Oviatt told Chief District Judge William Slyvester, "I thought he was a police officer." Oviatt had been sent around to the back of the theater complex to secure the perimeter when he says he came across a man standing by a white car fully clothed in body armor. Sgt. Gerald Jonsgaard, who was perhaps the very first officer to arrive on scene, had the same reaction. He told the court that he thought to himself when he saw Holmes at that moment: "How did this SWAT officer get here so quick?"
Oviatt came across Holmes just feet away from the back entrance to Theater 9. When he realized that Holmes was not a fellow officer, Oviatt drew his gun. And that was that. Holmes "immediately" raised his hands in the air, then backed away from the car and laid down face first on the ground to be frisked and handcuffed. "He did what he was told," Oviatt told the judge. "He was completely compliant. There wasn't even normal tension" in Holmes' body when the police dragged him away from his car to better search him.Tilling the ground for the coming mental illness defense, defense attorney Daniel King asked Officer Oviatt on cross-examination: Was the suspect uncooperative with police demands? No, said the cop. "Did he try to run away?" No, said the cop. "Did he try to grab a weapon?" No, said the cop. "Did he threaten you with a weapon?" No, said the cop. "He was very, very relaxed," Oviatt said. In his arrest report, the officer had written that Holmes "stared off into the distance and seemed out of it." We'll hear more about this before this case is through.
When Holmes surrendered to Officer Oviatt, Sgt. Jonsgaard was watching from a high point yards away. Holmes' actions, the officer testified, were "instant and exaggerated." The man whom police say carried out this coordinated attack, right down to the plastic door stop he had used to prop open the exit door, had no fight left in him when the cops came to him. There was a handgun on the top of Holmes' car. There was another in the passenger-side door pocket. And there was an AR-15 assault rifle on the sidewalk just a few feet away.
The Victims
Every mass murder case affords prosecutors with an enormous tactical advantage. The sheer number of casualties, the collective stories of woe, can overwhelm judges and jurors and unduly prejudice defendants. Some judges handle this inherent tension better than others. It is too early to say how well Chief District Judge William B. Sylvester is protecting Holmes' fair trial rights under the Sixth Amendment. But it is not too early to say that prosecutors are using the preliminary hearing to amp up the emotional pressure on potential jurors.
So there was Officer Grizzle, testifying about "huge amounts of blood" in his patrol car and in the theater, and about how he transported to hospitals victims who had been shot in the head. One such victim, a desperate man, tried to escape the car while it was moving to return to the theater to find a young girl, his fiance's daughter, killed in the attack. And there was Aurora Police Department Officer Aaron Blue, who testified that he transported a dying Jessica Ghawi to a hospital in his car. "Every time she moved she stopped breathing," he told the court.
And then there were the surveillance tapes, later in the day, which showed Holmes walking into the theater. And there were the photos introduced into evidence which showed where some of the bullets hit inside Theater 9. And there was the list of where the victims had been seated inside the theater when the bullets had hit them. Such evidence goes far beyond the "probable cause" standard prosecutors have to meet at this stage of the case. It goes to the core of what the heart-wrenching trial will look like if we ever see one here.
And through it all, as far as I could see, the defendant stared straight ahead. He stared straight ahead when Officer Blue glared at him -- glared at him with a ferocity you see in the movies but rarely in real life -- while identifying him as the suspect in the case. He stared straight ahead when Sgt. Jonsgaard was moved to tears while testifying about finding no pulse on the lifeless body of little Veronica Moser Sullivan. Is that a sign of mental illness? Is it a sign of heavy medication? Is it a sign of brutal indifference? We may never know.
The Questions
Why did he do it? I suspect that is the question most people asked of themselves and each other in July when the news of this crime broke across the world. And it is the question most people still have today as they begin to learn the details of what happened inside that
theater that night. We always ask that question when someone does something unimaginable to us. But this case simply isn't going to answer that question for us, especially if Holmes, as expected, asserts some sort of insanity defense.
Nor is the case likely to answer some of the other questions it begs. For example, after listening to Monday morning's testimony, I was struck by three basic questions, each of which assumes that Holmes was the shooter. Why did he stop shooting? The witness told Judge Sylvester that Holmes still had ammunition available to him when he was apprehended. He had time to do more damage. Why did he stop shooting and walk outside the theater to his car? Did he feel as though he had done enough? Or was he planning to go back for more?
Why didn't he run away after he had done it? Based upon the morning's testimony, Holmes made no effort to flee the scene of the crime or to evade his arrest in any way. He was caught just feet from the theater near his car. The defense surely wants the judge and the trial jurors to see this as a sign of Holmes' mental state at the time -- either that he did not appreciate what he had just done or that he accepted what he had done in a manner inconsistent with legal sanity.
Why didn't he kill himself after he had done it? Monday's police witnesses were quick to tell the court that Holmes told them that he had booby-trapped his apartment with explosives. Did he do this because he believed that he would never return that night from the theater? And if so where does the body armor come in? If he was prepared for a shootout with the police why didn't he have a shootout with the police? Why didn't he reach for the gun on the roof of the car? Why did he so meekly succumb to Officer Oviatt? And will we ever know?


text:
Launch Center Pro for iPhone review
Simply tap to tweet, text, search, dial, and much, much more with Launch Center Pro for iPhone
App Cubby's Launch Center Pro is the newer, shinier, big brother to the existing Launch Center app, built with a new kind of power user in mind. The original Launch Center was a great attempt at organizing and enabling URL schemes. URL schemes are a limited way -- and currently the only way -- for apps to send actions to each other in iOS. Many apps support them and the net result is that Launch Center allows users to pre-program certain actions (for instance launching IMDb and immediately grabbing current showtimes for your area) in a list form. In other words, it lets you launch actions, not just apps. It was a great start and Launch Center Pro builds on this pedigree, but adds a entirely new level of customization that new users will immediately find accessible, but fiddly (and I mean that in the best way possible) users will dive into and love.
Launch Center Pro's interface is completely revamped. The original Launch Center was list-based, but Launch Center Pro presents a chunky, easy to hit touch-target grid that can be augmented with a secondary level of functionality. You can assign actions or groups to a button: actions are single target functions, whereas groups are nested functions that sit underneath the original button. The nice thing about groups, however, is that the control scheme to access the second level relies on pressing and holding the primary button and then sliding a finger quickly to the desired group action. It takes about three seconds to figure it out, and every time you use it after that is a delight.
In addition to the new grid layout, the levels of customization for each button are impressive. You can now change the look of the button by altering its color, texture, icon and label so that it's easily identifiable at a fast glance. The iconography is very cool too -- there's a nice mix of newer emoji-style icons as well as some charming classic computing-style icons to change things up. And if you like a more default look, in many cases you can appropriate an iOS-native icon as well.
So what can you do with Launch Center Pro?
Well, everything you did with Launch Center, and some new things. Carried over from the original are standards like composing an email/message, with or without a default recipient/body, quick dialers, Safari searches and page launches, a flashlight utility, and the ability to insert a custom URL string that can either launch an app function or a web page.
A nice new addition that I'm already enjoying is a brightness toggle that can be set to two default values; I usually keep my phone brightness at about 40%, but on a sunny day it really helps to be able to snap it up to 90-100% to quickly read something and then snap it back without ever having dropped into Settings.app.
If you have supported apps installed, their functions are still listed within the configuration page, as well as apps on the App Store that you might not have on your iPhone yet. Ultimately, if you're familiar with Launch Center, then you'll feel right at home in Launch Center Pro, and likely smile as you stumble onto the little things that make it even more enjoyable than its predecessor.
A few more nice additions: quick Google search access and a full phone dialer and contact search engine (Apple should take some notes on how that one works -- it's really phenomenal) quietly add some subtle power to Launch Center Pro.
The result from all these changes is simply this: Launch Center Pro is pure speed.
Launch Center Pro launches so quickly and sends actions so fast that it feels like it should be part of iOS. It's completely fluid within a few minutes of using it and just gets better as muscle memory kicks in.
App Cubby spent a lot of time not only optimizing the code to perform more admirably, but put a great deal of thought into the interactions you will need to perform within the app, minimizing finger travel time and effort to add to the overall perception of speed. It's markedly faster than Launch Center, and that's a very good thing. One of my only areas of improvement for Launch Center would have been to reduce the time necessary to open and perform an action, and it's been addressed nicely.
My only wish is that URL schemes would catch on more!
A lot of apps already support this functionality, but I want to be able to hit all the apps on my phone in one way or another. There's so much potential and power in this method, I think I may start emailing/tweeting developers to politely ask (demand? threaten?) for the inclusion of URL schemes so I can continue fleshing out my Launch Center more fully.
The good
- Easy access to apps and actions that are sometimes screens away and stuck in folders
- High level of appearance customization
- Blisteringly fast app and action launch and response times
- Clean, clever UI
The Bad
- Not all apps will work with Launch Center Pro (yet... but it's still an unknown, especially if Apple decides to change the way URL schemes work)
- Could benefit from an instruction panel or help screen for getting started and working with advanced features
The bottom line
Launch Center Pro is a separate app from Launch Center, not an update. The original Launch Center will remain in the App Store and get its share of updates, but if you want the new version you'll have to buy it. And let me tell you, you'd better be ok with it because aside from its intent, there's almost nothing in here that feels like it was simply carried over.
App Cubby rewrote Launch Center Pro from scratch, and it shows. If you like tinkering a little, or even think you might like a new way to think about using apps, do yourself a favor: buy Launch Center Pro, support the developers, and enjoy. Leave a good review and email your favorite developers to include URL scheme support. As iOS matures, we have a lot to look forward to, but it's not now, and has never really been a one-size-fits-all mentality for some of us. Apps like Launch Center Pro enhance the experience of an already great device in some new ways, without sacrificing the aesthetics of the platform we've grown to love.
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Seth fights for the users. The CIO of Nickelfish, he helps build apps like Stringer by day and co-hosts the Iterate podcast by night. He's also a lover of classic video games, surfer for life.
Has anyone tried this one on iOS 6 beta?
Looks awesome.
Works fine in iOS 6.
It looks cool- Kinda messed up it couldnt be done as an upgrade with the original one- There is no reason to have both so if you get this then the original launch center becomes obsolete- Most developers revamp apps to keep current users happy and attract new ones- Here that isnt that case-
It would be useful if they added scheduling actions, which is a feature of Launch Center (not-pro) from the same developer.
Seth complained (harshly) about something similar a while back. http://www.sethclifford.me/things/2012/5/8/adding-value.html It was the Instacast app making him do an in-app purchase for a feature the app provided previously. Since then, smart playlists were made available for free and more new features added.
It's striking the difference of opinion he has for this developer wanting to charge for version two of his app as opposed to the Instacast app situation. Support the dev. You better be ok with it.
Well, that's because there's a fundamental difference in what we're talking about here. Instacast removed functionality that previously existed within the app and requested that existing users pay to get it back. I was critical of that decision. To their immense credit, they listened to the user base and changed their approach, and many people (myself included) respected that decision.
Launch Center Pro is a separate purchase. It adds functionality and UI changes. Your original Launch Center app will continue to function exactly as you would expect it to on your phone if you never, ever give App Cubby another cent. You're conflating two situations and it's really not the same thing. As a user, you don't have to buy LC Pro at all, but you have a choice; with Instacast, I would have had to make a purchase (again, not the amount, the principle) to restore something I was doing (and had paid for already).
If instacast's 2.0 version had been a separate app, you'd have been fine with this? It added new features and functionality as well and similarly not all of 1.0's functionality was brought over. In either case, the dev wanted more revenue.
I actually agree with the instacast article for the most part and this one. But I don't like this solution that much better as you can continue with the 1.0 app but most likely little attention will be paid to it by the dev. I suppose it was the level of love or hate you gave to each dev as a result that struck me.
Wish i could edit but hopefully you get that first paragraph.
You can. Below the Icon selection, there's a Schedule option.
"And let me tell you, you'd better be ok with it because aside from its intent, there's almost nothing in here that feels like it was simply carried over."
Are you kidding me?! We should be "OK" with being forced to pay for an upgrade? This simply looks like a UI "update", nothing more. Your assertion that we should be ok with paid upgrades like this just pisses me off. There is no reason we should pay for such an underwhelming upgrade.
"Your assertion that we should be ok with paid upgrades like this just pisses me off. There is no reason we should pay for such an underwhelming upgrade."
Easy answer... Don't. If you take the time to read, your current version of Launch Center will continue to be updated. Your argument is like expecting to be upgraded to Photoshop CS3 because you bought Photoshop Elements 9. Yes, they are from the same developer. Yes, they share the same first name. If you want the new functionality, buy it. If you don't, enjoy the one you have and keep your sour grapes to yourself.
Hey, great news! You don't have to buy it. Feel free to keep your three bucks.
Apps like this one make me wish there was a trial period for apps; this one looks interesting but I'm not sure if I would like it.
I plumped the £2 for this app and have purposely put it on my dock so I'm reminded to use it. I spent a good hour setting it up how I wanted. It's a great little app that works flawlessly and fluidly (even on iOS 6 beta). Would like to be a teater for this app and see the addition of the Facebook quick post too.
Seriously needs some instructions or guide though for the more advanced features, totally agree there.
Hey Chris, how did you go about setting yours up. I want to do more than just open apps. If that's all this think can do then I wasted my money.
Can we not do a quick facebook status message with this app yet?
Just got this app and wish I could get my money back. Just another scam that looks good in the video but does very little. No way to customize anything in Settings. Just an app that opens other apps. Not worth my two bucks.
I want my money back !!!
Just got this app and wish I could get my money back. Just another scam that looks good in the video but does very little. No way to customize anything in Settings. Just an app that opens other apps. Not worth my two bucks.
I feel the same way. If doesn't help you at all the only helpful thing is flashlight and brightness. It's the same speed or slower at times opening those functions.
I am quite good in writing medical articles as well
Every time I am in the edit mode for this app ....I keep hitting the home button thinking that this will finalize the edit mode and return me to the regular mode. I have to remember to not do that.
Can I make a shortcut straight to brightness in the setting?


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Welcome Message from Belhaven University
President, Dr. Roger Parrott
Message from Dr. Roger Parrott...
Welcome to Belhaven. I'm glad that as an adult student you have chosen Belhaven-this is a unique place that has a great heart and passion for serving the needs of adult students. As an adult, it's a challenge to come back to school, and you're juggling family, you're juggling work, you're juggling your church, and other responsibilities. How are you going to fit this in on top of everything else? We understand that. We've been doing adult education for a long time because it is a priority for us. We think it is a great way to serve you and your fellow students and to serve hundreds of alumni who have gone before you. They figured out a way to make this work, and you will too.
I want to encourage you as you start this program to find God's best for it. I know that for most students coming in, your initial objective is "how can I get in and get out as fast as possible?", and that's okay. In fact, we're named in a guide (Get In. Get Out. Get a Job.)for how to get in and out as fast as possible, and we want that for you. But I think that if you'll invest in the learning experience, you will grow, enrich your life, and be forever changed. We're going to help you get a better job, but we are also going to help you become the person God wants you to be-and that's what's most important. We want God's best in your life, and this educational experience will not only change you, but it will impact your family and those around you. As you understand and learn how God has formed and developed you to be of unique service in this world, we pray you'll find God's very best. I'm glad that Belhaven can be a part of your life in this next phase, and I look forward to handing you a diploma one of these days soon. God bless.


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Welcome to September Books
This is a new publishing venture, set up by Jean McNiff, and dedicated to publishing texts about action research and practice-based research.
Because we have only just begun, our portfolio is still quite small. You can see one book by Jean, titled Action Research for Professional Development: Concise advice for new (and experienced) action researchers. You can also see an archive of books that are now out of print, but a few copies remain to be sold at inexpensive rates.
A main reason for setting up the publishing house is to encourage and enable new and also experienced action researchers to write up their work and place it in the public domain. This is part of Jean's commitments to helping people to speak for themselves and let their voices be heard in the public sphere. So if you have a good idea, and would like to find ways of turning it into a great one, please contact Jean who would be glad to discuss it with you.
You can contact us at firstname.lastname@example.com or you can write direct to Jean at email@example.com. Either way, we will respond as quickly as possible.
All our books are priced to include post and packaging.
We look forward to hearing from you.
All good wishes,
Jean McNiff and friends at September Books


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The two Jills drove from the west and the Canadians came from the east, converging at a tiny hotel room in Glennallen. The gear explosion was just the first of many bursts of giggling and debauchery. The Pecha Kucha girls were together again.
Unfortunately I failed to take a picture of all of the bikes — a major faux pas in realm of fat bike trip reports. But the breakdown was a titanium 9:Zero:7, a titanium Fatback, an aluminum Fatback, and a Salsa Mukluk. Sierra's Fatback easily won the prize for the most stylish rig, with her matching green rims and bike bags. (As in perfect matches. She actually gave the bag maker a pantone number.) Combined with her hot pink ski pants and matching hat, she was easily identifiable from long distances in the stark landscape.
For the most part we were able to pedal through it, but our pace was jogging speed (4 to 6 mph), frequently dipping into walking speed (2 to 3 mph) even when we weren't pushing. And of course powering our rather heavy steeds through the mush was hard work — generally expending the effort level of running for the output of walking speeds. I've said before that the whole reason I found my way into trail running was because a few years of snow biking convinced me that wheels aren't always an advantage. Luckily, we were still fresh and excited for our adventure, and no one even seemed to notice the grunt of the first big climb.
"Do you really want to know?" I replied.
She thought about for a minute, and then resolutely said, "Yes."
"We've ridden seven miles in two hours," I said. "Maclaren Pass isn't until about mile 35 and I expect we'll have at least one big descent and another climb in there. This might be the only big descent. Or there might be more. I don't know."
"So seven kilometers an hour is what we might average all day?" she asked.
I paused for a second. "Well, yes," I replied.
|Photo by Jenn Roberts
My friends showed up about 45 minutes later, as they had more difficulty riding the soft trail on the descent after darkness set in, but they were able to stick together. We ordered a round of burgers and four or five different kinds of drinks each (for me: hot tea, hot chocolate, Diet Pepsi, and cold water.) Life was good out here, miles from anywhere.


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Home » Electroacoustic/Contemporary » CLOIDT, JAY: Kole Kat Krush -
CLOIDT, JAY: Kole Kat Krush -
Very entertaining selection of pieces plundered, cut up and played in real time by the Chronos Quartet and the Paul Dresher Ensemble, as well as tape or rather sample and computer manipulations. Full of jokes, quotes and eccentricities, as well as some nifty musical thinking. New generation where plunder and cross genre work is no longer an issue, but just comes naturally.
Code: ST-208
Price: £14.50


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"Budgets are restricted and server infrastructure spending is clearly not the highest priority for many organizations," said Adrian O'Connell, research director at Gartner, in a statement.
Server unit shipments declined 0.7% compared to the first quarter last year, while revenue declined 5%. High-end servers, particularly those in the RISC/Itanium Unix category, suffered the biggest drop, with unit shipments off 38.8% and revenue down 35.8% from the same period last year. The two largest Unix server manufacturers, IBM and Oracle, were dragged down by the trend.
IBM's Unix server revenue was off 32.3% to $841 million on the quarter (down from $1.24 billion a year earlier). That contributed to a 13.6% slide in total server revenue for IBM to $3.01 billion from $3.49 billion in the first quarter last year. It also reduced IBM's server revenue market share to 25.5%, down from 28.0% last year, and ahead of HP, which had $2.95 billion in server revenue and 25.0% of the market in the first quarter.
[ Want more on Oracle's next-gen Unix servers? Read Oracle Sparc T5 Can't Make Sun Rise. ]
Oracle's Unix server shipments were down 60.4% to 7,459 units in the first quarter, reducing revenue in that category 38.3% to $280 million from $382 million a year earlier. The drop could be explained by anticipation of Oracle's late-first-quarter release of Sparc T5 and M5 servers, the replacements for earlier-generation T4 and M9000 servers. Oracle's total server revenue across all categories dropped 27.2% to $538 million, down from $739 million in the first quarter of 2012.
Shipments were flat for x86 servers at 2.29 million units, while revenue increased 1.8% to $9.11 billion from $8.95 billion in the first quarter of 2012. These servers are the backbone of distributed systems based on commodity hardware (such as Hadoop and NoSQL deployments) that are displacing high-end server sales. Indeed, the "self-build" category within this segment saw a 34.7% increase in unit shipments and a 35.4% increase in revenue to $434 million for the quarter.
Dell's focus on x86 servers helped it outperform competitors that rely on the RISC/Itanium sales. Dell shipments increased 2.6% to 516,355, up from 503,450 a year earlier. Revenue increased 14.4% to $2.12 billion, up from $1.85 billion in the first quarter of 2012.
Looking at results by region, conditions were weakest in Europe, the Middle East and Africa (EMEA), where units were down 6.8% and revenue declined 9.6%. The Asia/Pacific region and the United States had shipment and revenue increases of 7% and 1.7%, respectively. The increases were not enough to offset declines in all other geographies.
"The reality for server vendors is that spending levels are very low and there is severe weakness in the high-end segment," O'Connell said. "The outlook for 2013 remains challenging."


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By the time the WordPress robot posts this update, I will be on my second trip to China, sputtering through a four-week language immersion course in Harbin. Before leaving, I got a preview of it on my son's field trip to our local urban Chinatown. We were part of a big group of elementary school students in a dim sum restaurant where the busy staff didn't seem to be taking seriously the religious dietary restrictions of two students I was responsible for, so in desperation, I spoke to the servers in Mandarin. When our exchange was over and the servers were gone, there was a beat of silence, big-eyed kids, and the other mom at the table saying, "I was not expecting that."
No. At the first few syllables, non-Chinese speakers hearing me hacking away at my not-quite second language usually look horrified, like I'm an idiotic monster trying to do some excruciating Mickey Rooney fake-Chinese comedy. They relax when they see my noise accepted by Chinese-speakers, and then I go from an idiotic monster to a unicorn.
In China, no one is surprised to hear unicorns blundering through the language that is not only local, but the most spoken language in the world. Most people nod at me, maybe smirk, maybe feel bad about discussing special pricing for foreigners right in front of me, correct my speech with cool matter-of-fact-ness, and when it's over, they might say something about how I shouldn't get too discouraged.
The reaction of Chinese-speakers outside an explicitly Chinese social context is different again. I was having 'coffee' with my professor and her baby in a suburban café, far from Chinatown, when she waved me to the counter and told me it'd be okay if I used Chinese to order a drink. The staff would understand. Ever the obedient student, that's what I did. The café lady laughed at me. It's a typical reaction. I didn't think much of it, smiled, waited for it to pass. What was different about this encounter from the rest of the times I've spoken Chinese "in the wild" was that I was standing next to my professor–the person who, more than anyone else, is responsible for teaching me Chinese, who knows something of how difficult it's been, how profoundly nervous I once was to do anything but read a script. She interrupted the laughter, telling me the lady was just surprised. What I'd said was fine. Later, I asked another professor why Chinese speakers in Canada laugh at me. He described it as "laughter of encouragement."
These are the explanations of my teachers, friends, and mentors—people who nurture and protect my determination to study and learn Chinese. But it's not all about me and they may be protecting more than that. I'm old enough to have seen Wayne's World in its theatrical release and I remember the extended punchline of a joke that is nothing more than an ethnically Scottish North American (like me) having a conversation in Chinese. Hilarious, right? Mike Myer's on-screen Chinese is strange and overwrought but the fact is, when Chinese is "toned down," it's unintelligible. I already walk a line too close to unintelligibility to risk crossing over it because of something like shyness. I can't afford to hold back. I'm not making fun. I'm just trying to make sense.
There is one more kind of reaction I get when I use Chinese. It comes from a certain kind of person, always—always—an English-speaking man I do not know well. It has happened online and in person. I'll mention I'm studying Chinese, that I've traveled there, might even say something about being a graduate student in a modern languages department. Then the man tells me he is interested in languages too, maybe even in Chinese. Am I using Duolingo? All of this is fine until, instead of asking me anything about learning languages, he shuts down my attempts to enter into a discussion and simply tells me about learning languages. I mentioned the laughing Chinese-speaker phenomenon to a man like this and he told me my lack of understanding of the tonality of Chinese pronunciation must leave me accidentally saying silly, laughable things. Actually, when he took a trip to China, he was praised for his near-native pronunciation of the half dozen pleasantries and place names he had learned to say. Guys like these tend to be the same ones who post memes about Ockham's Razor, and the simplest answer to my observation about laughter was surely not a complicated, inequitable connection between the English-speaking majority in our community and the ambivalent relationships it fosters between local ethnic diasporas and their ancestral languages. No, the simplest explanation was that I must be foolish.
I was ticked off but still a unicorn. I smiled at white Chinese-language-mansplainer, and you can probably guess what I said.
It's the Chinese equivalent of "Parlez-vous français?" or "Hablas español?" – the kind of phrase the barest of beginners ought to know.
He blinked. "Sorry, what?"
Mm-hm, that's what I thought.


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Burgundy appellations and California AVAs
I'm still very much enjoying and learning from Rajat Parr's new book, "Secrets of the Sommeliers" (co-written with Jordan Mackay), although I could live without his constant swipes against California wines.
Parr is at his best when writing, of course, about his beloved Burgundy. Whenever I read good writing about Burgundy it turns me on, for the explanation of this region surely is one of the most rigorously intellectual in all of winedom. Who among us doesn't remember the first times he was taken, through the written word, on a tour of the famous slopes of the Cotes d'Or, by a writer who knew what he was talking about? In my case, my first tour guide was Alexis Lichine who, although a Bordelaise (he owned a couple of chateaux), knew Burgundy in his blood. I must have spent dozens of hours close-reading the Burgundy sections of his immortal "New Encyclopedia of Wines & Spirits", memorizing the appellations controlées, studying the map, understanding the millennial history, and wishing I could have the opportunity "to perceive the difference between a…Charmes-Chambertin and the contiguous Clos de Beze," which, sadly, didn't happen nearly enough.
It was those tiny, mystical differences between vineyards and parts of vineyards so close to each other that inflamed my mind. I took it as part of God's plan for an ordered Earth that it should be so–that the Pinot Noir grape (and to a lesser extent the Chardonnay) grown in Burgundy should express itself in so complex a tapestry, in what is really a fairly compact region.
Parr takes us over much the same territory as did Lichine, albeit in language not quite so poetic. Reading Parr on, say, Vosne-Romanée, the old fire returned to light up my brain. The old passion was rekindled, as it was when, in 1982, I bought (for $30!) my Lichine "Encyclopedia." But I reflect also that there's a huge difference between then and now, in terms of how I apply the knowledge of Burgundy to the situation of Pinot Noir here in California.
It was the particular French genius for (or obsession with?) classification that provided the underpinnings of my fascination with Burgundy, and in the 1980s there was no reason why I, or anybody else, would have been blamed for believing that California too would someday be organized into communes and villages and premier and grand crus. They might not be called by those words, but we would someday have identified the precise slopes where our Vosnes and Cortons and Chambolle-Musignys grew, and even the tenderloins within them in which our Bonnes-Mares and La Taches displayed exquisite grandness.
That is what I thought in the 1980s, at any rate. Today, it's a very different story. We have superb Pinot Noir regions scattered for hundreds of miles, from the Anderson Valley down to the Santa Rita Hills, from Fort Ross to the Santa Cruz Mountains, from Carneros to the Santa Lucia Highlands. Far from having a single range of hills to understand, we have multiple valleys, even whole mountain ranges that have just begun to be poked and prodded. We have, too, a vastly greater range of clones, rootstocks, farming techniques, barrel regimens and winemaking practices available than the Burgundian vignerons ever did, each of which minimizes the contributions of terroir, making them harder to discern. I could go on and on about all the reasons why classifying California Pinot Noir, at least in the way it's done in Burgundy, will never be done.
Does that leave me disappointed? No. My expectations from the 1980s have turned out not to be achievable, but then, I had many fantasies back then that never panned out. There is, though, a definite satisfaction in knowing that, although things here are much more complicated than I, or anybody else, thought, still, we as a state have reached the point where I can taste masterpieces like Merry Edwards' 2007 Meredith Estate, Lynmar's '07 Five Sisters, Byron's '08 Nielson, Samsara's '08 Las Hermanas, and appreciate them for what they are, even though they don't seem to be arranged into any sort of coherent order (and even despite Rajat Parr's back-handed compliments).
And who's to say that the dream is truly dead? It won't be my generation that finally and fully explains Pinot Noir in California. It won't be the Millennials, because even if they have writing careers of thirty years or more, vintners and growers still will be scratching away in our appellations like chickens looking for a tasty grub. I think we may be able to make sense of some of our AVAs sooner than others–the Santa Lucias seem more logical than, say, the Sonoma Coast. Westside Road may someday be plotted out in a more or less thorough way. We may have some clearer understanding of the Santa Rosa Road corridor in the Santa Rita Hills, brief as that place's viticultural history is.
But much work remains to be done, and one thing wine writers will have to be careful of is not to jump to unwarranted conclusions, just because they sound good and are easily repeated. In a day and age of instant truthiness, spread virally over the Internet, writers should avoid parroting something that somebody else said. That's not how the Burgundians understood their land. It took them a thousand years, and from what I've read of their history, they were in no hurry. Neither should we be.
A good cause to support…
My friend, David Le, is hosting a fundraiser for Big Brothers and Big Sisters of the Bay Area. It's on Sat., Oct. 16, at his Garden Hortica garden center in Oakland, 668 Seventh Street, near Jack London Square.
Though totally unrelated, I found it funny and cool that the post I'd scheduled for publication today also deals with Burgundy. 🙂
You are INSIDE MY HEAD, man!!!
Must be a slow news day. Gee, I did not blog about Burgundy at all.
But, a Burgundian system is not likely to happen anywhere else in the world. Well, OK, I will grant you the Cote Rotie, but are there others where anything like it exists? Even on the West Rutherford Bench, which is one continuous land mass with similar exposures, the land is already broken up in holdings that are much larger than the tightly defined spaces in Burgundy. Can you imagine ten different appellations for ToKalon alone?
Raj Parr is what's wrong with wine. He's a pretentious prick who turns off most people to wine.
Burgundy is an Arthurian legend. There will never be any sense to made of terroir in the post-modern winemaking world. When people can and do manipulate every single fundamental component of wine, it becomes a manufactured commodity. This is where we are. Wine is dead. All the things that all of us of a certain age loved about wine has become a marketing object. Like Letterman says about the global environment- "It's over- the cab is on its way". There are a very few of us who don't read parker, who remember Lichine and Hughes, who care about what wine was for centuries. But it's over. We are a dying breed. It's all tweets and money. Fuck it. I'll go down trying to make real wine. You better write about it.
Yeah, you're right. Just late night harvest grouchiness. I do wish someone would pay attention to the wines that have the least manipulation, but, how could one know? I think Randall Graham's on the right track. I'm following his lead, and will list ingredients on my labels. I probably lost a restaurant sale today because when the buyer asked how I produced wines of 13 and 13.5% alcohol, I told her. I bleed and add water back. Duh. Many do it, few admit it. Is it better than R.O. and distillation to remove alcohol? I don't know. But I think it's simpler, more direct, less industrial. I ask for fruit at 23.5 Brix, but even though growers bitch about losing money selling dessicated grapes, that's all they seem to be able to supply. This year IS special, though, so I can't blame them for sending me 26 Brix Pinot in 2010. I picked my Syrah at 22.8 and it ended up 24.2, after the dried fruit soaked up. So I can't even get my own my fruit right. But I'm continuing the experiment of NO ADDITIONS. The 4.2 pH is scary, but let's see what happen. It fermented reasonably well without SO2 or inoculation. It's a one barrel experiment, so if it blows up, no great loss. Probably the VA will help lower the pH. HAHA HA! By the way your top ten lists are useful. Too bad many of your picks are too expensive for normal people to drink.I'm grateful you pay attention to Syrah, the saddest story in wine-dom. Cote-Rotie is probably the most singular appellation on the planet, makes emulating Burgundy seem easy. bunt


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Surfer likely shatters his own world record
Professional surfer Garrett McNamara's father sitting proud in Lake Worth
It's likely professional surfer Garrett McNamara broke his own world record Monday when he rode a wave that was more than 100 feet tall in Portugal.
Garrett's father, Laurence McNamara, lives in Lake Worth and learned about his son's current adventure last Friday.
"He called me and he said, 'The waves will be good in Portugal. We're on the way," said Laurence. "He said, 'We're getting ready to go to the airport right now.'"
McNamara said his son said, "I love you," and the next thing he knew, his neighbor told him about his son's big feat because he had seen it on TV.
ABC News talked to Garrett McNamara by phone.
"You are just going so fast. It's really, really similar to snowboarding down a giant mountain," said Garrett. "You're just chattering, flying down this bumpy, bumpy, mountain. Your brain is getting rattled. Your whole body is getting rattled."
The Lake Worth father said he worries about his son, which is why he is always praying for him.
As for being proud, Laurence McNamara said, "I was already proud. This is overwhelming."
It won't be officially called a world record until spring.


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