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Posted by Editoress on 07/25/09
This coverage is brought to you by Shimano
In a day of absolutely schizophrenic weather conditions, Sabrina Jonnier (Team Maxxis-Rocky Mountain Bicycles) and Sam Hill (Monster Energy/Specialized/Mad Cat) claimed the downhill wins at Mont Ste Anne, Quebec. Both riders mastered a difficult course made even more challenging by the variable amounts of moisture on track.
MSA had rain overnight. Not a lot, but enough to make things pretty slick for this morning's training. Based on the cloud cover, wind and drizzle, common thought was that it would be a wet afternoon. At the beginning of the women's race, the top half of the mountain was obscured by cloud. However, the expected rain didn't happen, and there were even a few brief moments of sun. What it meant to the racers though was an incredibly difficult time selecting the right tire. There was still a lot of mud in some sections, whereas other spots had dried out considerably by race time. Running mud tires robs top end speed but, of course, aids traction in the loose soil. In a sport where fractions of a second can separate several racers, it was a very important consideration.
Women's DH
The women's field had 20 starters. Through the first 10 racers, there was rapid and frequent turnover in the hot seat. The first rider to hang on to the hot seat for a bit was Emilie Siegenthaler (Scott 11). Siegenthaler was eventually dislodged by Melissa Buhl, who was clearly stoked by her run. "It was pretty good. I struggled a bit in the mud but I kept it together. I was going back and forth between the mud and the dry tires and I was glad I stuck to the dry. There were a couple of spots of mud where I would have like spikes, but it paid off in the rocks because they were pretty slippery."
After Buhl was Canadian Champion Claire Buchar (Chain Reaction Cycles/Intense). Buchar was having a good run, but unfortunately crashed on the lower part of the course. She was very disappointed with herself. "It happened in the last section of woods. I was having such a good run up until then. Everything was going good and I was giving it all I had. I don't know what happened. It happened so quickly. I went over that same rock every single time and this time my front wheel went out. I lost a whole bunch of time. I'm really disappointed because I wanted to do well this weekend. That's racing." Buchar finished in 13th place, 30.02 seconds back.
The next rider to lay down a fast run was Emmeline Ragot (Suspension Center) at 5:30.29, which was good enough to maintain the Hot Seat until only Jonnier remained to descend. Jonnier was the class of the field, with the big TV screen at the finish showing her great control. Her run was 5:26.50, beating Ragot by 3.79 seconds. "That run was the best of the weekend. Conditions were a lot different than this morning. It dried out a lot. I decided to be a bit cautious and then go fast when I could. I just want to win and be happy on my bike." Jonnier's win was her fifth consecutive of the season.
Tracy Moseley (Trek World Racing) finished in 3rd place, 4.77 seconds back. Top Canadian was Micayla Gatto in 11th at 26.80 seconds, Danice Uyesugi in 15th at 31.69 and Rebecca McQueen in 17th at 34.36.
With her win here, Jonnier stretches her lead in the World Cup standings to 1382 points, with Emmeline Ragot a distant second with 1115 points. 4 of the top 5 are now French riders, with only Moseley, in 3rd, breaking the streak.
Men's DH
The men's field required almost 2 hours to get everyone down. The first fast run of the afternoon was produced by Marcel Beer at 4:59.94. Beer held the Hot Seat for 17 racers, finally being overtaken by Joseph Smith (K ona). Smith wasn't there long as Cameron Cole (Team Maxxis-Rocky Mountain Bicycles) came in at 4:55.57. Cole was destined to be up there for a long time.
While Cole was in the Hot Seat there were some racers coming close, but his time held firm. The only notable event was a spectacular crash within centimetres of the finish line by Australian Junior Shaun O'Connor (Iron Horse/Kenda/Playbiker). O'Connor's bike went end over end. While on the ground he dragged himself and his bike over the line, much to the appreciation of the spectators.
Cole stayed in the hot seat for 20 riders with Pierre Charles Georges (Solid Aclass) finally bumping him with a run of 4:51.69. Georges was leading for a little bit but as the race got to the final 20 riders, more frequent lead changes were happening. With 10 riders to go, the leader was US National Champion Aaron Gwin (Yeti/Fox) at 4:42.91, with Chris Kovarik (Chain Reaction Cycles/Intense) in 2nd at 2.62 seconds and Canadian rider Steve Smith (MS Evil Racing) in 3rd at 3.48.
Many were hoping to see a good run from World Cup leader Greg Minnaar who started in 21st place due to a flat tire during qualifying yesterday. Unfortunately Minnaar had a crash, which cost him time. He could only manage a 22nd place finish. "I washed out my front wheel in some mud under the lift and down I went. I got up pretty quick but my glove was half off so I had to freewheel while I took it off. Definitely not a good weekend."
Fabien Barel (Subaru) came close to Gwin to temporarily claim 2nd place, leaving Gwin to anxiously wait the final 4 down the mountain. Samuel Blenkinsop (Yeti/Fox) had a slow run (16th place) and quickly left the finish area, visibly unhappy. Gee Atherton (Animal Commencal), the reigning World Champion) came close to Gwin but couldn't dislodge him. That left only Steve Peat (Santa Cruz Syndicate), a perennial favourite here, and Hill to come down.
To thunderous applause, Peat didn't disappoint, with a time of 4:41.48 to Gwin's 4:42.91. He took the Hot Seat, but didn't really settle in. All eyes were glued to the big screen TV and the scoreboard, which was showing the splits on the course. Hill was the fastest through every split, showing incredible control skills through the rock gardens. To huge applause he finished in 4:38.44, 3.04 seconds better than Peat.
Hill was pleased with his win, the first of the season for him after an uncharacteristically long drought. "This is one of the most high speed, and the longest courses, on the World Cup circuit. It was a lot slicker this morning. It dried out a lot. I was conservative in the first few corners just to check it out. It was good so I went hard from there."
Peat, had another stellar day with his second place. This is his 50th World Cup podium appearance, which is unprecedented. He also holds the record for the most World Cup career wins. "I think this course suits me. You've got to be an all a rounder to do well here. I've got another podium which I'm pleased about."
Gwin hung on to 3rd for his first podium appearance. On the podium the other racers did their best to drown him in champagne. "It was pretty crazy watching Gee and those guys come through. I'm happy. It's about time!"
With his win Hill moves from 3rd to 1st in the World Cup Points race with 1039, a mere 4 points in front of Peat. Minnaar drops from 1st to 3rd. Smith retains his 9th place standing.
Race Notes:
Making his first World Cup appearance was Canadian Junior Kyle Marshall "It was pretty cool going up there and seeing everyone. It kind of hit me going out of the start gate that I'm racing a World Cup! It was pretty cool." Marshall finished in 74th.
Smith was the top Canadian with his 7th place. "I almost bit it a bunch of times, but I stayed up today. I kept it smooth and made it down. Another top 10 makes me really happy. I'm stoked that I'm racing in Canada. It was nice to have the Canadian fans up there with signs, not like Europe."
The third Canadian finisher was Dean Tennant in 66th place, while Simon Garstin failed to finish.
Former racing legend Shaun Palmer returned to the World Cup after a 10-year absence. He enjoyed himself but had a bit of a rough time, finishing in 75th.
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There's nano in that summer camp! Part 3
Mike Rathbun at the Discovery Center Museum in Rockford, IL recently emailed saying that they plan to conduct a 2-day teacher workshop on nanoscale science plus they're attempting daily nano cart demos on their floor all summer. The Introduction to Nanotechnology teacher workshop will be conducted in conjunction with the Nanoscale Science and Engineering Center at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and teachers will be able to earn 1 hour of college credit for the class. Mike wrote that the workshop will feature activities from the NanoDays kits "because they are so easily repeatable with our teachers." The Discovery Center Museum will use the kits again, along with demos from the Franklin and NISE Net program kit materials, during the daily cart demos.
Good luck, Mike, let us know how it goes!
Meanwhile, the similarly-named Sci-Tech Discovery Center in Plano, TX is putting on free summer outreach programs this summer, starting with a program next Thursday, June 18th, with over 100 middle school students attending a Mindbender Academy. One of the activities during the Academy will be learning about buckyballs while waiting for a strawberry mixture to strain for DNA extraction.
And the Sci-Tech Discovery Center is doing this all without a building! They're providing outreach in the community now, and excited about opening in a permanent home this fall.


text: On the 25th anniversary of the Chesapeake Bay restoration effort, The Baltimore Sun reported that a group of over a dozen of scientists and activists have released a statement to the Environmental Protection Agency's Chesapeake Bay Program calling for a more aggressive commitment to cleaning up the bay. Sun reporter, Tim Wheeler, has also blogged about this subject showing a dramatic image illustrating the poor health of the Bay. This plea for better tactics and enforceable measures is not the first, and certainly won't be the last one presented to officials charged with bay restoration. Officials at the National Aquarium are standing in line with all of the Chesapeake Bay advocates encouraging mandatory, enforceable measures put in place in the areas of agriculture, zoning, development, wetland restoration, the list goes on. The Aquarium's conservation team and volunteers spend endless hours each year restoring wetlands in and around Maryland and educating visitors on watershed health. And there are countless organizations leading their own charges, doing their part to "Save the Bay". The message has been made clear. Voluntary efforts to restore the bay have not succeeded. The bay's importance to the 15 million people whose waters drain to it, from Washington, D.C., Virginia, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Delaware, and as far north as upstate New York, cannot be overstated. We now know that better results over the next 25 years will only be seen through the creation of consistent, mandatory practices. Tags: baltimore-sun, chesapeake-bay, conservation-events, evironmental-protection-agency Categories: Conservation, News Previous Post Next Post


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A wall that limits entry and advancement based on race, ethnicity, color, culture, gender, nationality, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity and expression, religion, geography and age. A wall that has stood in the way of real change. A wall that has left the legal profession an anachronism in an increasingly diverse society.
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The Institute for Inclusion in the Legal Profession will drive real progress through comprehensive outreach and original programming to replace barriers with bridges between legal, judicial, professional, educational and governmental institutions. We will provide high schools, colleges, and law schools with programs to help students excel in an ever-more competitive world, and give young people real hope that there's a path to success in the law. We will give law firms, bar associations, corporations and government agencies insights for business development and tools to eliminate bias. We will help people spot and get rid of the obstacles to inclusion - from policies...to fear of open discussion...to entrenched attitudes.
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eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! !! He took off his glasses!!! *more fangirlish sreaming*
look at hiiiiiiimmmm!!! wooooooooo!!! *is to happy and everyone aims a gun at her and puts her out of her misery*
shonenchikara wrote:Hey, thanks you two pervs!!! ^_- Not that that's a bad thing!!!!! We thought he looked pretty disgruntled. Hence the angsty?
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The DEWALT DCK754P3T XR Compact 6 Piece Kit, contains the following:
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• Ready to wear 1940s style Lana Dress
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Most kids would prefer doing anything but writing in their spare time, but not the members of Teen Writers Group. Writing is a pastime they enjoy.
The group was organized when several boys spoke with Morenci teacher Sally Kruger about writing.
"Their original idea was that if we collaborated on writing ideas we could write books faster and get them published in half the time," she said.
She's making no promises of publication, but she's delighted to have students interested in writing.
A first meeting was organized and those in attendance worked in pairs to complete a short writing about what they thought would make a good story.
"I'm enjoying that we have very different genre ideas," Mrs. Kruger said.
In subsequent meetings, the writing teams have shared their collaborative efforts with the group to get their opinions on what's been accomplished
"There has also been a lot of communication via Facebook," Mrs. Kruger said. "It's fun to log on and find myself in a serious conversation about writing ideas."
New members – ninth grade and older – are welcome to join the group. The meeting time is at 11 a.m. on the second Saturday of the month at Stair Public Library. Snacks are provided.
There are no writing requirements.
"Short stories, poetry and other shorter writing options might interest new members if they don't want to get involved in the partner style projects already in progress," Mrs. Kruger said.
The group's members are willing to help each other out with their efforts, but guidance might come from other sources, as well. Just ask Hunter Nino.
"He recently chatted with his favorite author on Twitter," Mrs. Kruger said. "He mentioned our group and explained what he was trying to write. The author took the time to provide some suggestions for Hunter's story. He was excited to get advice from a pro."
Excerpts from writers
• Kenneth Dillon and Mary Margaret Hollstein are working together on a graphic novel in the style of a Russian folktale. Kenneth is drawing the illustrations and Mary is writing.
Mary Margaret: The Russian fairy tale Baba Yaga is about a witch who uses beautiful women to lure men to her home. The story varies a lot throughout folklore but this is the one we decided to base our story on.
In our story Nicholi has dreams about a young woman whose name, Adlelia, is being whispered to him. He knows he must be the hero who goes to rescue her, so he sets off on a journey. Along the way he stops in a small village where the innkeeper's son tells Nicholi that he is crazy and it is the Baba Yaga who is calling to him, there is no Adlelia. Nevertheless he continues along and in the forest animals keep coming to him warning him and giving him objects they say will help him.
A very confused and skeptical Nicholi reaches a clearing and sees a house on strange legs and surrounded by a fence made of human bones. Nicholi realizes that the stories were true all along and when he turns to run away he hears a faint whisper on the wind of Adlelia….
• Hunter Nino and Spencer Elliott are working on a sci-fi adventure. They have created a super fighting race called Pures. The Pures are taking over. Chicago is still standing and has become the new U.S. capital. Most of the country has been destroyed. Other parts of the world are also under attack and falling quickly. Lots of blood and guts and zombie-type action are involved.
• Aaron Elarton and Mrs. Kruger are working in the genre of realistic fiction.
Mrs. Kruger: Our story is about a kid named Zach. He has previously been home-schooled because he suffers from Tourette's syndrome. Things have changed financially for his family so he is going to public school for the first time as a 10th grader. He is bullied and this is going to be his story.
The first section is by Aaron and the second section is by Mrs. Kruger.
"Just another day of torture and distress, I thought, as I walked over to the alarm to shut it off. I put on my clothes and walked down into the dining room to get my breakfast just as I usually do and my mom says, "Hey." I just ignored her because of all the hell she is putting me through right now. I got my cereal and sat down.
My dad walked over and said he had to have a "talk" with me. I listened and nodded when I needed to, and he finally asked the question I knew he was gonna ask. "Why are you putting your mom through all this pain?"
I totally flipped out when I heard this. Pain!? You think she is going through pain!? Well, try living in my shoes and going to a school where everyone treats you like crap! You don't know what pain is! After that I just said nothing, walked out, and got on the bus.
Just another day on the bus: Get on, get tripped once or twice on the way to my seat, and get made fun of. Isn't my life just perfect?
Zach bent over the combination lock on his locker. He squinted to see the numbers in the dim hallway light. How do they expect anyone to see these tiny hash marks and numbers when they light the place with what amounts to the light generated by a lone candle flickering in a drafty room?
To complicate the issue, Zach's tics caused his fingers to shake and his eyes to constantly blink. He knew the pressure was on. He had to get the locker open and his materials organized so he could slip away to the media center and its welcoming peace and quiet. If he took too long, Kurt, Kevin and Kyle would descend and begin their daily torture routine.
Ironic that his tormentors had names that represented one of the most notorious bully groups of all time – the KKK (Ku Klux Klan). Zach does everything to avoid these three delightful characters which would be a task that most people in a school of just over 600 students could do without much trouble. However, Zach isn't most people. Having Tourette's syndrome doesn't usually allow him to blend in and slip by unnoticed.
Up until six months ago, Zach did his schoolwork in the comfort of his own home. When it became obvious to his parents that their young son had a condition that made him stand out in a negative way, their first reaction was to protect him.
By the age of three, Zach had developed a full-blown case of Tourette's syndrome complete with involuntary muscle spasms and tics and uncontrolled verbal responses that included a colorful vocabulary full of cuss words. Members of his immediate family and close friends understood Zach's condition and took it in stride, but Zach's eccentric behavior sometimes surprised even those closest to him.
As the years passed and Zach grew, attempts were made to use medication, therapy, diet, and behavior modification plans to control Zach's outbursts and tics. Tourette's does occur in many forms and different levels of intensity. Unfortunately, Zach's case was quite severe. Medication simply put him to sleep. Even when administered a mild dose, Zach reacted by becoming excessively drowsy. His parents soon acknowledged that their son couldn't go through life half awake so medication to modify his symptoms was crossed off the list of possibilities.
By the time Zach reached school age he was deeply involved in behavior modification therapy which had helped some, but any stress experience by Zach would intensify his symptoms and make any public interaction incredibly embarrassing for him and very uncomfortable for his concerned and over-protective parents. Home-schooling Zach seemed to be the most sensible solution.


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DETROIT LIONS NOTES: 'Symptom-free' Best could provide offensive boost
ALLEN PARK -- A concussion kept Jahvid Best out of action much of last season, but he told reporters on Monday that he is symptom-free.
The Lions running back has been on the field for organized team activities for weeks. But in OTAs players don't wear pads and there is no contact.
It's kind of the perfect situation for Best to work himself back into the game. He suffered a concussion in the Oct. 16 loss to San Francisco and hasn't played since.
While OTAs are fine for Best, he has not been cleared for contact.
"I haven't heard anything, I just know he's cleared for this time of year,'' Lions offensive coordinator Scott Linehan said. "It's really great to have him back out there. I know everybody's excited to see him out there, see his speed and utilize him the way we've always envisioned ...''
Assuming he's cleared for contact in training camp, he will not get special treatment while he's on the field.
"When you're a running back contact is going to be a fact of life. The biggest thing is not only in games do we need to avoid helmet-to-helmet, but we have to be very diligent to avoid helmet-to-helmet in practice,'' coach Jim Schwartz said.
"There will be some times we'll be judicious in his use in training camp, but when he's out there he's going to be out there like the other guys, he's a running back and contact is part of that game,'' the coach added.
The game before Best suffered his concussion -- the Monday night win over Chicago -- had been his best of the season. In that one he had a dozen carries for 163 yards -- the longest for 88 yards and a touchdown.
A healthy Best could upgrade the running game which was the offensive weakness in the 10-6 2011 season.
"I think we've seen that when he's been healthy his first two years,'' Schwartz said. "It hasn't been a matter of him developing or to work on different things other than being on the field. You saw it as a rookie when he was healthy, you saw it last year when he was healthy, probably culminated by that Monday night game against Chicago.
"Even the game he left with a concussion, the one that ended his season, he had two back-to-back explosive plays in that game. He's a home-run hitter, he's an explosive player and he means a lot to our offense,'' Schwartz added.
He just needs to stay healthy.
Rookie linebackers shine
Defensive coordinator Gunther Cunningham has been in the coaching business a long time, but he said he's always struggled evaluating linebackers based solely on their college play.
So he wasn't sure about Tahir Whitehead before the draft, but he certainly likes the fifth-round pick now.
"He's much better than a fifth-round draft choice, he's something,'' Cunningham said on Monday.
Also seventh-round pick linebacker Travis Lewis, one of the three Oklahoma Sooners drafted by Detroit, has caught Cunningham's eye.
"He doesn't have the long speed at the Combine but he is really quick, he's a very balanced athlete. He does a great job moving side to side, he's brilliant,'' Cunningham said.
Wide receiver Ryan Broyles, another Sooner, told Cunningham that Lewis is like that every day and he should know after playing with him for four years.
"They ran a conditioning test at the end of (Lions) rookie camp,'' Cunningham said. "Travis was about 5 yards behind the leaders. Broyles looked at me, and Travis hit overdrive and won the thing. He said, 'Coach that's him, everyday he's like that.'''
Ins and outs
Safety Louis Delmas was held out of the organized team activities Monday as a precaution. Delmas rolled his ankle a week ago. He didn't appear to be limping, but that didn't matter.
Schwartz said quite often in the NFL players have to push through injuries, but OTAs are not one of those times.
Also sitting out was running back Mikel Leshoure who is coming off a torn Achilles. He participated last week, but was having issues with his other ankle as a result of compensation. It is not considered a setback.
Wide receiver Ryan Broyles, who is coming off ACL surgery, participated in most of the practice. He did a drill with all three quarterbacks and then had his left knee iced and he was done. This is protocol for Broyles.
"We knew that he was going to be progressing from a rehab standpoint. He's ahead of schedule from what I'm told,'' Linehan said. "He's learning the offense and picking it up from the veterans and obviously from his coach, we're real pleased with his progress.''
(Follow @PaulaPasche on Twitter. Get Lions news delivered directly to your phone by texting the keyword "Lions" to 22700. Msg & Data Rates May Apply. Text HELP for help. Text STOP to cancel.)


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We continue our Christmas extravaganza previewing the Fall issue of the Claremont Review of Books (subscribe here and get immediate access to the issue online). To assess an extraordinary new book on affirmative action in higher education, the editors have called on the great Thomas Sowell. Sowell introduces the subject with a paragraph that could be chiseled in stone:
Anyone who follows public policy issues can easily think of policies that help one group at the expense of some other group. What is rarer, however, is a policy that on net balance harms all groups concerned, even if in very different ways. Affirmative action policies in the academic world can claim that rare distinction.
One of the books of the year is Mismatch: How Affirmative Action Hurts Students It's Intended to Help, and Why Universities Won't Admit It, by Richard Sander and Stuart Taylor, Jr. To the vexing topic of affirmative action Sander and Taylor have added pathbreaking empirical research. Who better to review the book than the brilliant Thomas Sowell, himself a long-time analyst and formidable critic of affirmative action? Sowell writes:
There have been critics (including me) who have been saying that [affirmative action harms its intended beneficiaries] for some time. However, the devastating new book Mismatch, by Richard H. Sander and Stuart Taylor, Jr., has so much overwhelming evidence on the harm done to students who are black, Hispanic, or from other "under-represented" minorities, that it will be hard for anyone with pretensions of honesty to be able to deny that painful fact.
But what can't be denied can be ignored. It can be given the silent treatment by practitioners such as the institutions involved or by prominent supporters such as the New York Times, which has yet to recognize the existence of the book:
[A] highly successful strategy used by academic administrators and other defenders of racial preferences in higher education has been to simply ignore any and all evidence that goes against their policies or the assumptions behind those policies. Where academics or foundations control data sources, they often simply refuse to release the data to those with differing views. However, this latter strategy will now be like locking the barn door after the horses are gone. Sander and Taylor already have a decisive quantity and quality of hard data in their book.
Students placed in schools for which they lack the requisite qualifications face a discouraging uphill struggle to succeed. As the data presented in Mismatch show, where race is banned from admissions decisions, students attend schools for which they are better matched, resulting in fewer dropouts and increased graduation rates, even in the most difficult fields of study.
Sowell praises the difficult work Sander and Taylor performed in collecting data for their work from recalcitrant school administrators, and their compelling presentation of that data. He lauds the book as an "outstanding study." Yet Sander and Taylor nevertheless advocate a practical middle ground of socioeconomic affirmative action that Sowell himself rejects:
An unequivocal legal ban on the use of race in college admissions seems to me a necessary, though not a sufficient, step toward putting an end to this educationally and socially pernicious practice. To say that race can be just "one factor" in college admissions decisions is to ma[k]e a judicious compromise in rhetoric while keeping the floodgates wide open in reality. From my own research for my book Affirmative Action Around the World (2004), I know that attempted restrictions on group preferences in other countries that leave the decision-makers wiggle room to factor in subjective considerations virtually guarantee that those subjective considerations will be used to offset objective differences in qualifications, in order to end up with the group numbers desired.
If and when there is an outright ban on using race in college and university admissions decisions, the next step should be a return to the once common practice of forbidding the submission of photographs or other things that permit racial identification. Some examination papers, as well as articles submitted to academic journals, are already being judged without any identifying information, in order to get unbiased decisions. There is no reason why the same practice cannot be followed with applications for college or university admissions. Affirmative action has already turned too many minority students with the potential for success into induced failures, because they were mismatched, quite aside from the racial polarization and academic corruption spawned by these programs.
Here there is no mismatch between book and reviewer. The CRB has pulled off a perfect match. For anyone interested in the subject, both the book and Sowell's review are necessary reading.
Tomorrow: John O'Sullivan on Jeane Kirkpatrick.


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The 2 Tricks I Use To Get Excited About Eating Healthy, Even When I'm Over It
"We're only halfway through the month, and I'm already falling off almost all of my resolutions—or resenting the ones I'm sticking to. Do you have any tricks to stay motivated?"
—Merideth, 36, Seattle
Ah, January. We all start the month like eager freshman, our metaphoric backpacks laden with wellness books accumulated over Christmas. We have big plans that we can't wait to execute—this will be the year we eschew sugar, work out every morning, and finally Kondo all of our clothing.
By halfway through the month, though, we're world-weary seniors, skipping class and telling ourselves that none of it really matters that much. Our dresser drawers are no longer organized; nothing really sparks joy. This is why, for many people, the healthy habits of January end up being a blip on the radar rather than the foundation for a new long-term lifestyle.
I hear you—I really do. I was once like you, dipping my toe in and out of various diets and meditation practices, riding the roller coaster of feeling great about myself—so motivated, so successful—only to plummet down into a free fall of despair and self-flagellation when I messed up.
The key is to catch yourself right at the moment of loss of motivation, before the less-than-healthy habits become as ingrained as the new, better ones. Here are the two tricks I use when my resolutions begin to wane:
1. Focus on how you feel right now.
Often, with wellness habits, we focus on an ephemeral future: a distant cancer we might be preventing, 5 pounds that we could lose by the end of the month, a notion of longevity that we won't know is successful until the turn of the century. While our lifestyle can affect all of these things, it's hard to stay motivated for a reward that's weeks, months, or even years away. Instead, focus on how you feel in the moment. Does working out give you energy for the day? Does eating certain foods make you feel lighter and less bloated? Shifting your thinking in this way works because, according to celebrity hypnotist Grace Smith, "in order for you subconscious to absorb a suggestion, it must be something you really want, achievable, and believable. Intentions that focus on the short term benefit of doing something are much more effective than long term benefits. Long term and broad goals are often met with fear, doubt, insecurity, and ultimately self sabotage." When Smith works with clients, she has them visualize how they'll feel in seven days, rather than longer, less tangible amounts of time.
For me, connecting my workouts to reduced anxiety that day finally made me able to stick to a consistent morning session. When I wake up, my anxiety tends to be around a 3 or 4, but if I work out, it drops back down to a 1 or 2 and is more likely to stay there throughout the day. It's far more motivating than the abstract notion of getting stronger or living longer; on days I don't feel like working out, I simply ask myself if the 20-minute trade for less anxiety is worth it—and it always is. Your immediate reward might not be anxiety, but figuring out what it is can make a huge difference.
2. Figure out how to fit the healthier elements into your actual life.
When I first started working out, I went to yoga classes in Manhattan. I live and work in Brooklyn, and it took me about an hour to take the subway to the studio, check in, change my clothes, and settle in on my mat. Making my way home took a similar chunk of time, turning a one-hour workout into an effective three-hour commitment. If I went after work, I knew I wouldn't be able to make other plans; if I didn't go, I felt guilty about not working out. When I started working out at home, I slid out of bed and straight onto my mat (often just in my skivvies, without bothering to struggle into leggings since I wasn't confronting the fashion show that is the New York fitness scene). Thirty minutes later, I was in the shower; 45 minutes later, I was at work.
Similarly, I have a friend who can commit to any diet—as long as she can drink her evening glass of wine. The second she attempts to eliminate the wine, she feels deprived, restricted, and often slips up—which causes her to reach for cookies to salve her guilt (and she tells herself the cookies don't matter because she messed up already anyway). Work within your real life. If you hate meal prepping, let yourself buy work lunch out—but maybe try to make a bit of extra food with your dinner so you have leftovers the next day a few times a week. If you know your mornings are rushed, grab some noise-canceling headphones and sneak into an empty conference room for 10 minutes to meditate at work (bonus points if you schedule it as a recurring calendar item!).
Remember that wellness is a tool to live your best life, not something meant to overwhelm everything else in your day. Incremental changes are always better; there is no failure in giving yourself the grace of realism.
Have more healthy eating questions? Hit me up at firstname.lastname@example.com, and you might see them answered in future pieces on the site!
And are you ready to learn how to fight inflammation and address autoimmune disease through the power of food? Join our 5-Day Inflammation Video Summit with mindbodygreen's top doctors.


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The Arthurian tradition in the Middle Ages provides two separate versions of Guinevere and Mordred's relationship. Depending upon the text, Guinevere may willingly marry Mordred and act as his accomplice in treason against Arthur, or she may flee from Mordred and lock herself in the Tower of London. Such a vast difference between various tellings of the legend seems extreme; however, these differences represent a division between two separate Arthurian traditions in the Middle Ages.
Maureen Fries states that Arthurian literature is conveniently divided into two mainstreams: the chronicle and romance traditions ("Poem" 30) . This division can also be divided on national lines, with the chronicles written by English authors while the romances were primarily of French origin. The English used the Arthurian legend to glorify England's past while the French were interested in the legend as a source for romances.
Corresponding with this division are the separate traditions of whether Guinevere is Mordred's willing accomplice as she is in the chronicles, or if she rejects his proposals of marriage as she does in the romances. My argument is that the romancers could not allow Guinevere to wed Mordred because they had made two important additions to the legend: the introduction of Lancelot and the incestuous birth of Mordred. If Guinevere loved Lancelot, she could not be unfaithful to him by loving Mordred, and if Mordred is Arthur's son, a marriage between Guinevere and Mordred would be incestuous, and therefore, avoided by the romancers. To understand how these differences led to two separate traditions in Arthurian literature, we must begin with Geoffrey of Monmouth's original treatment of Guinevere and Mordred's relationship.
Geoffrey of Monmouth's Historia Regum Britanniae was completed about 1136. In this work, Arthur goes overseas to fight the Roman emperor, while leaving Mordred as Britain's regent. Mordred is Arthur's nephew, the son of Arthur's sister, and no hint of incest exists to suggest that Mordred is Arthur's son. Only later would the incest motif be added to the legend. While Arthur is away, Mordred attempts to seize the kingdom and to marry Guinevere. Guinevere's contradictory appearances in later texts all stem from this ambiguous scene in Geoffrey. Geoffrey gives no insight into Guinevere's emotions regarding the marriage to Mordred. Therefore, it is unclear whether Guinevere is forced into marriage or willingly weds her husband's nephew.
The ambiguity regarding the marriage begins at its first mention when a messenger arrives to tell Arthur that Mordred has seized the crown, and
"What is more, this treacherous tyrant was living adulterously and out of wedlock with Queen Guinevere, who had broken the vows of her earlier marriage. About this matter, most noble Duke, Geoffrey of Monmouth prefers to say nothing (257)."
If Geoffrey had preferred to say more, later Arthurian texts would have been less contradictory, but also perhaps, less rich. Geoffrey then has Arthur return to England to fight Mordred, while Guinevere is in York. When Guinevere learns Mordred is marching into Winchester, "she gave way to despair. She fled from York to the City of the Legions and there, in the church of Julius the Martyr, she took her vows among the nuns, promising to lead a chaste life" (259).
These two passages make it difficult to determine the extent of Guinevere's guilt. Geoffrey suggests she is guilty by stating that she broke her marriage vows, but Mordred may have forced her into marriage. More complicated is why Guinevere flees and from whom? She cannot be fleeing from Mordred because by going to the City of the Legions (Caerleon), she is moving closer to him. Mordred enters Winchester after Arthur has landed and defeated him at Richborough. Perhaps learning of Arthur's success is what makes Guinevere fearful. In this case, she may flee to a nunnery as a place of clemency from fear of Arthur's wrath. Certainly, her going to a nunnery rather than joining Mordred suggests she is more concerned about her own fate than Mordred's. She might also hope that if Arthur finds her in a nunnery rather than with Mordred, he might believe her innocent. While Geoffrey seems to suggest Guinevere's guilt, the passages are vague enough to make her motives doubtful. Geoffrey's successors would seek to clarify this problem.
In 1155, Wace, of Normandy, France, translated Geoffrey's Latin text into French verse, entitling it Roman de Brut. The name reflects his intent to present the Arthurian stories as romance rather than history. Wace's translation was not closely tied to the Historia Regum Britanniae, but rather it was a free rendering of the work. Then around 1190, the English writer Layamon decided to render Wace's book into vernacular English verse under the title Brut. In writing of Arthur in English, Layamon was reclaiming Arthur from the somewhat romantic embellishments Wace had added. Furthermore, because Layamon was English, he sought to glorify English history by molding the British Arthur into a model of the brave and heroic Englishman (Jones xi).
Wace and Layamon both clarified Geoffrey's ambiguities regarding Guinevere although Wace's style is more romantic than Layamon's. Wace predates Chretien's romances with their notion of courtly love, yet Fries points out that Wace credits Mordred with a type of courtly passion for Guinevere ("Poem" 33).
He had set his heart on Guenevere, his kinswoman, but such a love brought little honour to the queen. Mordred had kept this love close, for easy enough it was to hide, since who would be so bold as to deem that he loved his uncle's dame? The lady on her side had given her love to a lord of whom much good was spoken; but Mordred was of her husband's kin! This made the shame more shameworthy (79).
Nevertheless, Arthur is unaware of Mordred's feelings for the queen, so he leaves Mordred as regent when he travels overseas to fight Rome.
Wace also clarifies Guinevere's flight from York. "She learned also that Mordred had fled from before the king, because he might not endure against him, and durst not abide in the field" (112). Guinevere suspects Mordred will lose the war. Fearing Arthur, she flees to Caerleon and takes the veil in the convent. "This she did by reason of her exceeding sorrow for her trespass, and for the sin that she had wrought" (113). Wace leaves the reader without doubt that Guinevere is guilty of adultery with Mordred.
Layamon goes further than Wace by cursing Mordred at the first mention of his name. Wace states that Mordred loves Guinevere, but he does not foreshadow how this love will lead to the kingdom's destruction. Layamon, however, introduces Mordred as "Modred, wickedest of men; truth he had none to ever any man . . . . to the queen was his resort–that was evilly done–to his uncle he did treachery" (235). Layamon adds that Mordred and the queen did numerous sorrows to the land, losing their lives and souls as a result (235). Mordred's evil deeds are again foreshadowed in one of Arthur's dreams. Arthur dreams he and Gawain are seated on the roof of a hall. Mordred approaches, and with a battle-axe, he destroys the posts holding up the hall, while Guinevere pulls down the roof. Arthur grabs his sword and beheads Mordred, then hacks Guinevere into pieces. When Arthur awakes, a messenger arrives from Britain to tell Arthur of Mordred and Guinevere's treachery (258-9). The dream clarifies that Guinevere and Mordred's guilt is equal.
Although Wace and Layamon clarified Guinevere's guilt, their additions created different treatments of Mordred. Wace suggests that Mordred married Guinevere out of love, while Layamon says it was out of treachery. Furthermore, Wace explains that Mordred has kept his love secret for a long time. This inclusion of love is a looking ahead to the Arthurian romances that would develop in writers such as Chretien de Troyes. Therefore, Wace and Layamon, rather than clarifying the legend, opened up additional complexities, beginning the division between the romance and chronicle traditions in Arthurian literature.
The differences between French romances and English chronicles becomes significant when Chretien de Troyes introduced Lancelot into Arthurian literature in his late twelfth century romance Le Chevalier de la Charette. In the romance, Guinevere is abducted by Meleagant, Prince of Gorre. Lancelot makes his first appearance in Arthurian literature as Guinevere's rescuer and lover. Because Chretien does not mention Mordred, Fries believes Chretien replaces Mordred with Meleagant as the abductor while making Lancelot the lover ("Poem" 40). Such a reworking almost suggests Chretien's adoption of Layamon's treacherous Mordred as Meleagant, while Wace's romantic Mordred becomes Lancelot. Chretien never writes of Mordred or of Arthur's death because he is more interested in romance than history. However, by creating a lover for Guinevere, Chretien would significantly influence later developments of Mordred and Guinevere's relationship.
The next work to show major changes in Guinevere's reactions to Mordred is the Mort Artu, part of the Vulgate Cycle and written about 1230-35. The author of this work manipulated the legend in a way which further complicated Mordred and Guinevere's relationship. The Mort Artu author revised the tales of Arthur's death, so his work would complete the narrative of the earlier works in the cycle, the Prose Lancelot and Quest del Saint Graal. However, Chretien had created a great problem for the Mort Artu author by adding Lancelot to the legend. Lancelot was so popular, he was the primary character in the cycle the Mort Artu was meant to complete, so he could not be omitted from the plot. Therefore, including Lancelot and Guinevere's love affair into the tale of Arthur's death created complications. If Guinevere faithfully loved Lancelot, she could not be in love with Mordred. To resolve the difficulty created by Lancelot's addition to the legend, the Mort Artu author found it necessary to make two additions of his own.
First, the author changed the relationship between Arthur and Mordred. In the earlier works, Mordred was Arthur's nephew, but now, he was turned into Arthur's bastard son, and even worse, the child of Arthur's sister, meaning that Arthur had committed incest. Although Arthur is unaware that he sleeps with his own sister, he still commits a sin of lust that must be punished. The result of lust and incest creates Mordred, who is himself lustful in his desire for his father's crown and wife. By making Mordred the result of Arthur's sin, the Mort Artu author shows that in Arthur's sin is created the punishment for that sin (Bruce, Evolution, vol. 1, 441).
Secondly, the Mort Artu author changed Arthur's reason for leaving Britain in Mordred's care. In earlier works, Arthur is on a campaign against Rome. In the Mort Artu, Arthur instead goes overseas to fight Lancelot who has committed adultery with Guinevere, and because Gawain desires revenge for the deaths of his brothers, Gareth and Agrivaine, who were slain when Lancelot rescued the queen. During the war, Lancelot returns Guinevere to Arthur, and she is sent back to England. There she is placed in Mordred's care, while Arthur continues the war because Gawain refuses to stop fighting until he avenges his brothers' deaths.
Once Guinevere returns to England, Mordred begans to solicit her affections. Arthur's incestuous act was repulsive, but at least it was an act committed unknowingly. The Mort Artu author refused to allow Guinevere willingly to commit incest with her husband's son. Furthermore, if Guinevere truly loved Lancelot, she would not be unfaithful to him by sinning with Mordred. In the Mort Artu, Guinevere clearly has no romantic feelings for Mordred when she is left in his safekeeping. "The queen was very angry that she had been given over to his charge because she knew such wickedness and disloyalty in him that she was sure that suffering and ill will would come of it" (156). Mordred, however, seeks not just power but also Guinevere's love. "Mordred was so often with the queen that he fell in love with her and did not see how he could fail to die of love, if his desires were not satisfied" (160). Mordred's romantic feelings clearly go back to Wace. Mordred may even be considered sympathetic in his inability to control his love for Guinevere. He attempts to trick her into marriage by forging a letter from Arthur which says the king is dying. In the false letter, Arthur supposedly requests that Mordred marry Guinevere, because "if Lancelot knew she was not married, he would attack you and take her as his wife" (161).
Guinevere and the court believe the letter to be true. However, Guinevere refuses to remarry, saying, "I could never have such a noble husband as I have had" (163). Later, she tells her cousin, Labor, she will not marry Mordred because he is Arthur's son, and "Even if he were not his son, he is so disloyal that I would not accept him for anything" (164). Labor then helps Guinevere escape to London Tower. The queen, hoping Arthur is not yet dead, then sends a messenger to him on the continent. Of course, Arthur returns, and Mordred and Arthur slay each other in battle.
The Mort Artu's plot would become the standard for most future versions of the legend. Works such as the Stanzaic Morte Arthur would also contain the Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot love triangle, Mordred's incestuous birth, Guinevere's refusal to marry Mordred, and her locking herself in the Tower of London. What makes the Stanzaic Morte Arthur important, however, is that it is an English text using the French Mort Artu as its source (Benson 2). The author is the first English writer more interested in creating a romance than a chronicle, a sign that even in England the French romantic tradition was becoming accepted as the proper way to tell the Arthurian legend.
However, one other major English text, the Alliterative Morte Arthure, would follow the chronicle format. The Alliterative Morte Arthure, unlike the slightly earlier Stanzaic Morte Arthur, rejected French additions by returning to the plot of Guinevere willingly marrying Mordred. The author of the Alliterative Morte Arthure was familiar with the French texts, but he chose to ignore them because he wanted to tell a structured history which had no room for romance (Matthews 144). The poet first deleted the French romantic additions. Then he added new details to Guinevere and Mordred's relationship to make the queen's guilt more substantial. Like Layamon and Wace, the poet was largely clarifying Geoffrey of Monmouth's statements.
The Alliterative Morte Arthure poet, in deleting French romantic additions, primarily reversed the work of the Mort Artu author. He first removed Lancelot as Guinevere's lover. While Lancelot remains a character in the poem, he is introduced as merely one of Arthur's "lesse men" (lines 368-81). Mary Hamel believes that this statement early in the poem is the poet's warning to the reader that the poem will not be concerned with the themes of the French romance tradition (King Arthur's Death 266). Rather than being Guinevere's lover, Lancelot is simply one of Arthur's many knights, who later dies in battle on the Continent. Perhaps the poet's only reason for even including Lancelot in the poem is to suggest that the romantic tales about Lancelot are not true. Once Lancelot was removed as Guinevere's lover, Arthur's reason for leaving Britain could revert back to the original war against Rome.
The poet also deleted Mordred's incestuous birth by simply omitting to state anywhere in the poem that Mordred is Arthur's son; therefore, if Guinevere marries Arthur's nephew, it will not be as vile an act of incest. Two passages suggest that the poet knew the tradition of Mordred's incestuous birth, but they are too obscure to be definite proof that Mordred is intended as Arthur's son in the poem. In one passage, the poet refers to Mordred as "Sir Mordred the Malbranche" (line 4174), which Peck says calls attention to Mordred's lineage as being the "mal" or ill branch of the family, and therefore, it reflects badly on Arthur as Mordred's progenitor (173). Benson argues that when Gawain, speaking of Mordred's treason, says, "Of such a engendure full little joy happens" (line 3743), that the word "engendure" might also be referring to Mordred's incestuous origins (281). However, both passages are too vague to determine that Mordred is Arthur's bastard son. Peck suggests that the poet only hints at Mordred as Arthur's son to keep the blood tie obscure because the incest theme would be embarrassing both between Arthur and his sister, and between Guinevere and Mordred (161). However, one might also argue that the poet is again showing, as he did by introducing Lancelot into the poem, that he knows the French romance tradition, but he is refuting it in this work.
Fries remarks that the Alliterative Morte Arthure poet even deleted any traces of romance Wace and Layamon had added ("Poem" 34), but I would argue that the Alliterative Morte Arthure is probably closer to Wace's poem than any other text. Despite the focus on history rather than romance, as in Wace, Mordred is in love with Guinevere, and she returns his love. Unlike in the Roman de Brut, however, the reader does not immediately know Guinevere loves Mordred although it is clear she respects him. When Arthur leaves England, he tells Guinevere "Sir Mordred, that thou has mikel praised,/ Shall be thy dictour, my dere, to do what thee likes" (lines 711-2). Only after Arthur is gone will Guinevere's respect for Mordred turn into love.
Once the poet had removed the obstactles to Guinevere and Mordred's love, he made some surprising additions to the legend to ensure Guinevere's love for Mordred and her equal guilt in committing treason. First is Mordred's objection to being left as regent. He does not want to remain in England when he could win glory through military deeds with the rest of Arthur's knights. In the Mort Artu, Mordred proposes himself as regent, and in the Stanzaic Morte Arthur, a council of knights proposes Mordred as the best candidate to be regent in Arthur's absence. However, when Mordred denies a desire for power in the Alliterative Morte Arthure, he appears less suspicious than in earlier works. Nor does the author accuse Mordred of secretly wanting power despite his words, as Layamon alleges by condemning Mordred at the first mention of him.
A more striking addition in the Alliterative Morte Arthure is that Guinevere bears Mordred's children as a sign of her and Mordred's love for each other. No other text makes Guinevere the mother of Mordred's children. Fries remarks that the poet may have been trying to explain the inclusion of Mordred's sons in the Mort Artu, who attempt to rule the kingdom after Arthur and Mordred are dead, and who are slain by Bors and Lionel ("Poem" 38). Fries overlooks that these sons are also mentioned in Geoffrey of Monmouth, where they are slain by Constantine (262). Oddly enough, in both Geoffrey and the Mort Artu, Mordred's sons are old enough to bear arms, but the time span of the Alliterative Morte Arthure makes it impossible that Guinevere and Mordred's sons would be old enough to bear arms immediately after Arthur and Mordred's deaths. Therefore, in Geoffrey and the Mort Artu, one must suspect that Mordred's sons have a different mother than Guinevere. To avoid confusion, the Alliterative Morte Arthure poet never mentions Mordred's children as grown, simply that Guinevere gives birth to them. Peck argues that the children are only included in the text to verify Guinevere and Mordred's mutual affection (173). Later, when Mordred warns Guinevere to flee with their children to Ireland because Arthur has returned to England (line 3907), it is because of his concern for Guinevere, but also a concern that his heirs will succeed him to create a dynasty. Arthur orders the children slain to destroy this ambition of Mordred's (Fries "Poem" 41).
The final addition the Alliterative Morte Arthure poet makes is to show Guinevere as aggressively committing treason against Arthur by giving Mordred Arthur's sword, Clarent, which she has in her keeping (lines 4196-4208). Guinevere is the only one Arthur trusted with the sword, so when she gives it to Mordred, she is actively betraying Arthur's trust. There is no more traitorous act she could commit than to use Arthur's own sword against him.
Despite all Guinevere's treason, Arthur holds no grudge against Guinevere in the poem. He orders her children by Mordred slain, but says of her, "I forgive all gref, for Cristes love of heven!/ If Waynor [Guinevere] have well wrought, well her betide!" (lines 4324-5). Guinevere, however, realizes her own guilt, so she takes the veil (Fries "Women" 31-2). Despite Arthur's forgiveness of Guinevere, the Alliterative Morte Arthure, unlike its many predecessors, leaves no doubt about Guinevere's treasonous involvement with Mordred.Although Malory was well versed in the French tradition, the Alliterative Morte Arthure and the Stanzaic Morte Arthur are the only English romances we know he read (Benson 3). In compiling the Arthurian legends into Le Morte d'Arthur, Malory used both French romances and English chronicles. Benson argues that Malory had a preference for the English versions, for when composing the final tale of the Le Morte d'Arthur if "the English and French versions differed, he almost always preferred the English version" (3-4). The Stanzaic Morte Arthur is one of the English versions, but because of the French influence upon it, it is more French romance than English chronicle. Because the Le Morte d'Arthur's ending reflects the Stanzaic Morte Arthur, I believe Malory actually preferred the French version. Therefore, the love triangle of Lancelot/Arthur/Guinevere and Mordred's incestuous conception were both retained while Guinevere appears innocent of any involvement with Mordred. Malory's work would become the standard Arthurian tradition for centuries to come, making the romance tradition dominant over the chronicle, and freeing Guinevere from any charges of adultery or treason with Mordred.
Works Cited
Alliterative Morte Arthure. King Arthur's Death: The Middle English Stanzaic Morte Arthur and Alliterative Morte Arthure. Ed. Larry D. Benson. Kalamazoo, Mi.: Medieval Institute Publications, 1994.
Benson, Larry D. "Introduction." King Arthur's Death: The Middle English Stanzaic Morte Arthur and Alliterative Morte Arthure. Ed. Larry D. Benson. Kalamazoo, Mi.: Medieval Institute Publications, 1994. 1-7.
Bruce, J.D. Evolution of the Arthurian Romance. 2 vols. Gloucester, Mass.: Peter Smith, 1958.
Chretien de Troyes. The Knight of the Cart. The Complete Romances of Chretien de Troyes. Trans. David Staines. Bloomington & Indianapolis: Indiana UP, 1990.
Death of King Arthur, The. Trans. James Cable. Harmondsworth, Eng.: Penguin, 1971.
Fries, Maureen. "The Poem in the Tradition of Arthurian Literature." The Alliterative Morte Arthure: A Reassessment of the Poem. Ed. Karl Heinz Goller. D.S. Brewer: Cambridge, Gr. Brit., 1981. 30-43.
Fries, Maureen. "The Characterization of Women in the Alliterative Tradition." The Alliterative Tradition in the Fourteenth Century. Ed. Bernard S. Levy and Paul E. Szarmach. Kent, Ohio: Kent State UP, 1981. 25-45.
Geoffrey of Monmouth. The History of the Kings of Britain. Trans. Lewis Thorpe. London, Eng.: Penguin, 1966.
Jones, Gwyn. "Introduction." 1912. Wace and Layamon: Arthurian Chronicles. Trans. Eugene Mason. Dent: London, 1966. v-xii.
Layamon. Brut. Wace and Layamon: Arthurian Chronicles. Trans. Eugene Mason. Dent: London, 1966.
Malory, Thomas. Malory Works. Ed. Eugene Vinaver. Oxford, Eng.: Oxford UP, 1977.
Matthews, William. The Tragedy of Arthur: A Study of the Alliterative "Morte Arthure". Berkeley: U of California P, 1960.
Peck, Russell A. "Willfulness and Wonders: Boethian Tragedy in the Alliterative Morte Arthure." The Alliterative Tradition in the Fourteenth Century. Eds. Bernard S. Levy and Paul E. Szarmach. Kent, Ohio: Kent State UP, 1981. 153-182.
Stanzaic Morte Arthur. King Arthur's Death: The Middle English Stanzaic Morte Arthur and Alliterative Morte Arthure. Ed. Larry D. Benson. Kalamazoo, Mi.: Medieval Institute Publications, 1994.
Wace. Roman de Brut. Wace and Layamon: Arthurian Chronicles. Trans. Eugene Mason. Dent: London, 1966.
Tyler R. Tichelaar, Ph.D. is the author of King Arthur's Children: A Study in Fiction and Tradition, available at www.ChildrenofArthur.com


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Carlton County board seeks input on Sandpiper oil line route
Carlton County Board of Commissioners Chairman Bob Olean, after a lengthy discussion about the proposed Enbridge Sandpiper Oil Pipeline from the Dakota oil fields to the Superior, Wisconsin, terminal, asked for public input by affected landowners. The proposed route runs 41 miles through Carlton County and goes through northern portions of Automba, Kalevala, Skelton, Mahtowa, Blackhoof and Wrenshall townships. A proposed map has not been offered by Enbridge.
Carlton County Land Stewards, very active in the Wrenshall and Blackhoof areas, has been vocal in their opposition to running the line through private organic farming lands. Several landowners throughout the possible corridor have voiced concern and want to ask questions.
The ultimate decision for the route will be determined by the Public Utilities Commission of the State of Minnesota. "We as the Carlton County Board want input from our landowners," Olean commented. "Not every area impacted has voiced their concern or approval. We ask our citizens to be involved and funnel their ideas to us."
Judges Robert Macaulay and Dale Wolf were present at the county meeting of the whole on Octoer 1. They questioned whether Carlton County's participation in the Arrowhead Regional Corrections was cost-effective.
Judge Macaulay started off the conversation. He asked, "Should Carlton County pay an upfront initial payment of $750,000 for continued participation in the Northeast Regional Corrections (NERC) and the Arrowhead Juvenile Corrections (AJC)? We are using only one bed of six designated for our use at NERC."
He continued, "The current proposal commits us to over $2.5 million in county tax dollars. As judges we have found our probation department and other in-house resources are better able to handle criminal cases with better results over the long term. A local approach is more cost-effective and is managed more effectively."
Judge Wolf reinforced this position, "This is the time during budget discussions where you as a board will make an assessment and choose. Look at the facts and figures. Another local approach may be more cost effective."
Commissioner Dick Brenner, representative on the Arrowhead Regional Corrections Board, responded, "I don't know what could be done at this time. We have committed to participate and bond for the updates at the ARC facility, and, in fact, the bonds are being sold at this time."
Judge Macaulay concluded, "We should keep local control. We as judges are inclined to use the NERC and AJC less and less."
Continuing flood relief response issues came up. Dave Lee, head of Health and Human Services, proposed extending the employment of Drew Digby and Tom Paull for another three months at a cost of $15,000 for each position. Lee explained, "We have had difficulty in finding qualified staff to handle the goals of the Mental Health and Behavioral Grant from the Minnesota Legislature. This was set up to handle the emotional needs of flood victims. There are excess monies that can be committed to continuing these two positions. This is to give you a heads up for next week's regular board meeting."


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Gorgeous 1 inch leather tear drop earrings are the perfect pop of color and so so light for all day wear. Hanging from nickel free silver earring wires and backed with turquoise suede and featuring hand-painted edges for a very finished look.
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Get "Dear Prudence" delivered to your inbox each week; click here to sign up. Please send your questions for publication to firstname.lastname@example.com. (Questions may be edited.)
Click here to read a transcript of Prudie's live weekly chat with readers at Washingtonpost.com.
Dear Prudence,
I have been dating a wonderful woman for four years, and we have been discussing marriage. She is accomplished academically and successful in her career. The mutual friend who introduced us told her I was an engineer. I am in the field, but I don't have a degree. When we met she asked about my engineering background and where I was educated. I have always been self-conscious about having never finished school and said that I had graduated from a college to which I had applied but was not accepted—and had never even visited. She exclaimed, "What a coincidence—one of my best friends graduated from there!" I eventually met Mr. Best Friend, who was thrilled that we had something in common and has talked about our mutual schooling every time we've seen each other since. All these years later, I haven't had the guts to tell my girlfriend the truth. I am a loyal partner and would not normally lie to my loved one. I consider this the biggest mistake of my life. How can I clear the air? Or should I just let it go?
—A Matter of Degree
Dear A Matter,
I agree you've made a mistake, but at least you haven't been practicing medicine or flying an airplane without any training a la Frank Abagnale in Catch Me If You Can. And it's impressive you've been able to keep up the patter about your "alma mater" for four years without getting caught. However, you need to tell your girlfriend. You owe her the truth, and you would want to start your marriage without this lie gnawing at you. It's important, however, to deliver the news in the right way. I suggest you take her out for dinner and make sure you get a booth in the corner. Tell her there's something about yourself you need to confess. Say you hope she can forgive you because you love her and this lie has been making you sick. The beauty of this introduction is that the things that will be running through her head will be along the lines of: "He's HIV positive; he's married; he's impregnated a colleague; he's a murderer; he's a woman." Then, when you tell her, she will be shaken up, but she'll also be relieved. Assure her there are no other confessions you need to make. Explain you blurted out this stupid lie because when you met, you were intimidated by her accomplishments. Say you've regretted it ever since, and your regret has been compounded by letting this go so long. If she gets angry and accusatory, don't make excuses. Just tell her you understand her sense of betrayal but that you hope more than anything that this won't change your relationship, because she's the most important thing in your life.
Dear Prudence Video: Preschool for Grown-Ups
Dear Prudence,
My husband works in an office populated by "alpha males." They are mostly former military men now working for the government. They seem to miss their uniform and wear similar clothes in blue, gray, and brown colors. My husband stands out because he wears designer shirts in the whole spectrum of colors. He is being regularly mocked by one individual in particular for his pink-toned shirts. I'm talking about subtle stripes, something any businessman might have in his wardrobe. He has told this man several times that he doesn't care for his opinion on his sartorial choices, but he keeps at it, and others are joining in. Their boss is a woman, and she does not "interfere with the boys joshing." The human resources department for his company is in another state. What can he say to stop these attempts to make him uncomfortable?
—Mrs. Dapper Dan
Dear Mrs. Dapper,
Unless this escalates and the office starts to resemble the hazing-in-the-barracks segment of Full Metal Jacket, your husband needs to deal with these bully boys himself. (That you're writing this letter indicates he could stand to work on fixing his own problems.) If he's shown any whiny weakness in replying to these alphas, that's the equivalent of telling the drill sergeant that push-ups make your arms sore. Your husband needs to be able to either laugh this off or shut it down. Which he decides to do depends on his personality. The next time the lead antagonist makes a snide comment about your husband's choice of shirt, he should look at him and say in front of the group, "Greg, every morning when I'm getting dressed, I wonder what you're going to say about my wardrobe. I've never had another man care so much about my clothes. But since you do, I'll let you know next time I'm going shopping. Maybe we can get a pedicure while we're at the mall." Alternatively, the next time Greg makes one of his comments, your husband should wait until Greg is seated in his office, then go in and lean across the desk. He should say something like, "You've now made the same joke about my wardrobe about 40 times. It's ceased to be funny and I'm asking you, for what I sincerely hope is the last time, to knock it off. Thanks." Then he should turn crisply, military style, and leave.
Dear Prudence,
I have two beautiful preschool-age daughters. My youngest was diagnosed with autism a year ago. Since the diagnosis, my mother-in-law has been treating the girls very differently, inviting only my oldest daughter to dance recitals, holiday celebrations, movies, etc. She just called to invite her on a weekend getaway. I told her no, it wouldn't be fair to my youngest daughter. I believe she is ashamed or embarrassed by my little girl. My husband doesn't understand how his mom can be this way. I am this close to prohibiting my in-laws from seeing the children. My youngest is going to understand soon that she is being excluded from events. I was so afraid of how strangers would treat her, and the real problem lies in the family. What should I do?
—Fed Up
Dear Fed Up,
Your mother-in-law may be ashamed or embarrassed, but she also may just be afraid. Afraid that a child with autism is too much for her to handle, that your youngest daughter may act up in a way that leaves her baffled and helpless. Instead of getting angry, you and your husband should have an open, nonjudgmental discussion with her. Start by saying this diagnosis is painful for all of you and means a readjustment of your expectations of your family life, but that you can all agree you love your youngest and everyone wants the best for her. Allow your mother-in-law to air her concerns, and then come up with constructive ways to address them. Educating herself and getting to know other grandparents dealing with this would be particularly helpful. Direct her to the Web site of the Autism Society of America, where she can get information about autism, find a support group in her area, and get a list of books that will help her understand her granddaughter better. You might want to give her The Way I See It, by the remarkable Temple Grandin, a distinguished scientist with autism. But also don't insist that your mother-in-law always take both girls. In any family, it's wonderful for each child to get time alone with their parents and grandparents. Your youngest daughter, by necessity, is going to require a lot of attention and extra help from you and your husband. You will all benefit if your older daughter can enjoy some special time with her grandmother.
Dear Prudence,
I'm in my early 30s and have never had what I'd call a stable, mutually beneficial relationship with a woman. Almost a year ago, I started seeing a former co-worker who I've known for years. She's divorced and has two wonderful teenagers. Our relationship is unlike any others I've had. We both treat each other with respect and kindness; there are no wild emotional swings, abrupt, half-hearted breakups, or vindictive behavior. We enjoy being together and share similar interests. We make each other better. So why am I worried? She is very much in love with me. Yet, for whatever reason, I have not fallen in love with her. I have been honest with her about this, and for now she seems to accept this as the way things are between us. Is it wrong for me to remain in a relationship like this if it seems unlikely I will fall for her the way she's fallen for me? Or is there a chance that my feelings for her may evolve as our relationship progresses? Her children seem to be getting attached to me as well, and I have no desire to disappoint or hurt any of them.
Dear Frustrated,
It's possible you're not in love with her because you think love requires a moody vindictiveness your girlfriend lacks. Perhaps what you need to do is rethink your notion of what love feels like. It sounds as if you've had your share of dramatic, deeply unsatisfying relationships that bring out the worst in you. Now you're seeing a woman with whom you are happy, and you're grateful for how she treats you. More than that—what a breakthrough!—you feel good about how you treat her. By your own testimony, your life's better because of her. Unlike many single people dating someone with teenagers, you are also delighted with her kids. Excuse me for asking, but what more do you want? If you need a dose of Sturm und Drang to feel it's real, maybe you should just enjoy faking it. In answer to your question, yes, of course, feelings can do lots of things the longer you're together: grow, change, deepen, lessen. It would be cruel, however, for you to hold your inability to love over this good woman's head indefinitely. So imagine breaking up with her and starting again your search for "love." If that makes you feel lonely and sad, maybe you've already found it.


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Sometimes I wonder if everyone who's heard the words "You have HIV" or "You have AIDS" has a single, defi ning moment of their diagnosis. I wonder about this because 12 years ago I had my watershed moment, a rupture in time that divided my life into "before" and "after."
Newly diagnosed with HIV infect ion, I remember st anding in line for a blood draw and glancing down at the sheet that list ed all the things they were checking. My eyes stopping on three letters: H-I-V. Even though I had been diagnosed already, that moment st ays with me as the one in which it really hit me. I had HIV. Th at was my name on that list of lab test s. Th e HIV they were measuring was in me.
I couldn't imagine then ever moving beyond the feeling that a bomb had been dropped on my life. Th ere I st ood, at the edge of a gaping crater, unable to imagine how such a big, overwhelming void could ever be fi lled again.
Scientist s say that nature abhors a vacuum. Water fl ows into crevices, plants pop up in sp ots of dirt, empty houses get fi lled with junk. Nothing st ays vacant for long. Much to my surprise, it turns out that this is true for emotional craters, too. Over time and with eff ort, the big emptiness left behind by my diagnosis gave way to what became the new landscape of my life.
Now well on the other side of my diagnosis, I am able to look back at the distance I've covered and appreciate what I've learned by experience and from some very wise women living with HIV/AIDS who helped me find my way.
For what they're worth, here are some landmark lessons of my journey.
In the beginning, I couldn't forgive myself for getting HIV. I felt compassion toward other HIV-positive women, regardless of what led to them their infection, but I could not find it for myself.
That changed when a dear woman who'd gotten HIV from shooting drugs and had been living with AIDS for a long time said to me, "You know, if you're looking for reasons to feel shame, you'll always be able to find them. At some point, though, you might want to look for something else ... like forgiveness." Until that moment, I had forgotten that forgiveness is something we choose and that it only happens when someone chooses it.
HIV is a health condition, not a crime. People who get HIV aren't doing anything differently than most people they know. The only thing that separates you from all the women who've had sexual intercourse with a man or shared a needle but didn't get HIV is that you got HIV.
I eventually realized that thinking I wasn't worth much or didn't deserve much because I had HIV amounted to saying there was nothing more to me than a virus, which seemed a little silly. I'm not sure shame ever goes completely away -- there's always someone (maybe even yourself) willing to judge you. If you struggle to accept that there is more of you to love or hate than HIV/AIDS, take a page from the book of our friends in recovery: fake it 'til you make it.
Not too long ago, in the course of discussing treatment with a newly diagnosed woman in the clinic where I work, I disclosed that I was HIV-positive. A short time later another woman on staff joined our discussion and, when she disclosed that she was living with AIDS, the patient looked at us and covered her mouth. Knowing that it can be hard to be surrounded by people with HIV if you are not ready to accept that you are one of them, I asked if it was too much. "No," she said in a teary voice, "It's just that I thought I was the only one."
In the United States the estimated rate of new HIV infections is 40,000 a year. Globally, it is 11,000 a day. In tragic irony, while the HIV infection rate steadily climbs, the common experience of people living with HIV/ AIDS the world over is to feel isolated and alone.
In 1985 less than one in 10 people with AIDS in the U.S. was a woman. Just 20 years later, it was moving closer to one in three. The impact is deepest among women of color: black and Hispanic women make up one quarter of all American women but eight out of 10 American women with AIDS. You are not alone.
Shortly after I was diagnosed, I asked the question that I imagine almost every newly diagnosed woman asks: "Who's ever going to want to be with me?" It was a stroke of good fortune that I posed the question to a self-respecting woman who'd been living with HIV for more than a decade already. "If someone loves you -- I mean really loves you, " she said, "and you tell him something like this, then he should love you more ... not less." In my lingering shame and shock, that sounded radical to me. Now, I know it to be the truth.
At some point, death will take someone you love from you or take you from someone who loves you. AIDS, cancer, heart attacks -- there is no shortage of reminders that our time on this planet is finite. Life is fragile, and HIV doesn't let us forget it. Someone who is grateful for your presence in this world is going to hold you closer, not push you away, because you have HIV.
People often assume that women with HIV/AIDS cannot have children. As it turns out, the ability to prevent transmission of HIV from a pregnant woman to her baby -- both while the fetus is developing and during the birth process -- is arguably the greatest achievement in the history of the HIV epidemic. Before we had antiretroviral therapy, and even before the question of HIV transmission from mother to child had been studied, it was common for pregnant women with HIV/AIDS to be told to have an abortion to avoid transmitting HIV to their babies. In truth, without any use of antiretrovirals to reduce the amount of virus during pregnancy or at delivery, about one-third of babies will be born HIV-positive. When women use antiretroviral therapy and work with skilled medical providers, that number turns to zero.
The joy I feel that women with HIV/AIDS can have healthy children is tempered only by what some women endure at the hands of their providers, in the name of good medicine, to get there. A friend of mine summed it up well by describing her own experience: "It feels like they're at war with the virus and I'm in the way!"
Some providers, especially those who work with only a few pregnant women now and then, sometimes treat a pregnant woman like a situation they need to manage instead of a person they need to support and listen to and respect. They forget that they are not the only ones whose priority is an HIV-negative baby.
If you are thinking of getting pregnant, seek information from a variety of trusted sources so you know your options. If you aren't prepared to make informed decisions about your body and your baby, others won't hesitate to make them for you.
I worry about the people living silently with HIV/AIDS. Even when they say they're fine with hiding their pills from the people in their lives and letting judgmental remarks about HIV/AIDS go by, I worry that silence will kill them long before AIDS does.
After I was diagnosed I didn't come out about being HIV-positive right away because I was filled with the notion that it wasn't supposed to happen to me. Strangely, when I did come out, it was for the same reason. It became important to me to say out loud, "Yes, me too" so that people understood HIV was in their midst. It also helped me integrate this new part of me into the rest of who I'd always been. I found great liberation in the surrender of my secret.
I was able to be public because I had the love of family and friends, and I lived where protection and support existed. In many places on all continents the flames of stigma are fanned by a tragic stand-off: the need for more people to live openly with HIV/AIDS in a world that doesn't feel safe for them to do so.
In a sea of silence and shame, voices carry. Those of us who can find the strength must speak up and out about HIV/AIDS so that it cannot be denied or ignored...and so we can find each other. By refusing to live in silence, you may discover you were never alone at all.
You will meet people for whom HIV/AIDS has become a place to hide from life and all the hard stuff that comes with it -- intimacy, responsibility, self-respect. Some people get so comfortable in the idea of themselves as damaged or sick that they could be professional victims if the occupation existed.
Not long after my diagnosis, I attended an HIV workshop in which the audience was asked to do a short exercise with the instruction "write a letter to your condition." Instead of writing to HIV, I found myself writing to my self-esteem. I was frightened of HIV and what it would do to me, but I knew in that honest moment that if I was to focus on how I wanted live with this instead of how I would die of it, a virus was not the most troublesome truth I had to confront.
It's true that this disease can be hard and painful and scary, but lots of things in life are hard and painful and scary. HIV/AIDS doesn't come with a "get out of life free" pass. In fact, it can give you good practice at dealing with adversity ... if you let it.
|Note to Self
In his workshops, HIV specialist Jon Kaiser has asked participants to write a letter to their condition and have the condition write back. This letter and response was written in Chicago in 1997.
Dear Self-Esteem,
I realize now that the virus is not my problem -- my barrier to a healthy, full life lived in the moment is you. You warned me that you could not survive, that you were weak, when I became depressed. You almost died, as did I. But I didn't listen so, I think, you gave me HIV. In between, of course, you gave me lots of time to feel the pain of not living true and not respecting myself. Now, I realize, I no longer have the luxury of ignoring you, of disrespecting you. If I don't treat you with greatest care we will both die. I get it. So to save myself I will save you. I'm listening. You are in such sorry shape it will take everything I have. But, yes, my answer to you finally, is: you are worth it.
Dear Heidi,
You're damn right, you idiot. I gave you many, many warnings; I sat by, hanging on, while you abused me and disregarded me -- for what? Would your life to date have been worse had you respected me? I thought you were smart, I still do, that's why it's so infuriating. I may be weak but I'm not that weak. I couldn't wait any longer for you to kill us both -- for what?! I'm glad you got the message-I wondered. I hope you're serious about healing because you're going to have to be. HIV kills people all the time and I frankly wonder if it'll get us two. I'm counting on you.
Your Self-Esteem
P.S. I'm the one who can save you.
Heidi M. Nass is a lawyer turned treatment advocate and educator. She is based in Madison, Wisconsin, at the University of Wisconsin HIV Care Program. She may be reached at firstname.lastname@example.com.