text:
When Jim Hall debuted the unbelievably radical Chaparral 2E, the car that almost singlehandedly brought the idea of downforce to motorsports, Eric Broadley of Lola Cars joined the ranks of doubters and perpetual haters.
Jim Hall actually overheard Broadley when he said, "If Hall had the suspension right he wouldn't need that wing." Well, Broadley decided not to support the next generation of car designers and his cars got whipped on the track. And now his company is bankrupt. So there.
While we were discussing Shelby's racing history, we got a Broadley-esque comment of jovial skepticism from True-Blue has successfully rebuilt his Holley 4160.
"If you only know the late Carroll Shelby for his tuner cars" - then you're on the wrong website, bub.
This is the wrong kind of attitude. MechaScroggzilla replied with some open-minded wisdom.
Don't be so hard on "the kids". Considering it's been over a half century since Carroll Shelby's last race, and most of his victories were on US soil (the history of which, strangely enough, isn't as well documented as his international racing career), the younger Jalopniks main reference point are those "tuner cars". It's up to us, who know better, to pass that knowledge along.
Photo Credit: imca-slotracing.com


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March 21, 2013
Take Another Peek at Pixelmator 2.2 Blueberry
We know you love effects; we love them too! In Pixelmator 2.2 Blueberry, we are adding one more gorgeous effect called Light Leak to the collection. The effect is super easy to add and the outcome is a stunning, retro-artistically illuminated image. Enjoy!

subset: commoncrawl


text:
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DENVER (AP) – More spills were revealed Friday in a Colorado oil field swamped by floodwaters as cleanup efforts remained stalled due to high waters and regulators cautioned that more oil releases were likely to be found in coming days.
The latest spills include 2,400 gallons of oil spilled from a group of storage tanks, about 900 gallons from an oil tank that floated away and at least two others from damaged storage tanks that involved unknown volumes.
That brings the known volume of oil released since massive flooding began last week along Colorado's Front Range to at least an estimated 22,060 gallons. That's about 525 barrels.
Most of the oil releases reported to date came from storage tanks or tank farms operated by Anadarko Petroleum Co. near the South Platte River or its tributaries.
The Texas company is just one of many working in northern Colorado's booming Wattenberg oil field, raising the prospect that other companies have suffered similar problems since flooding began last week but have not yet been able to assess their damages.
An aerial survey of the flood area Thursday revealed up to two dozen overturned oil storage tanks, said officials with the Colorado Oil and Gas Conservation Commission. Releases from those tanks could not be immediately confirmed.
Also unknown yet is whether any pipelines have leaked.
With many roads in the area washed out, the spill sites remained largely inaccessible, preventing cleanup work from getting underway until water levels drop, said Anadarko spokesman John Christiansen.
"We've got a couple of amphibious vehicles and flat-bottom boats that we're using, but really until things have a chance to dry out and some of the infrastructure issues are sorted out, it's going to be difficult," Christiansen said.
The company has said it will clean up as much spilled oil as possible. Anadarko workers earlier in the week used absorbent boom in an attempt to minimize the release from one storage tank site Milliken, but were unable to stop the oil feeding into the South Platte.
A spokesman for Encana Corp. said personnel had examined the Calgary-based company's 484 oil storage tank batteries and found only two minor spills in which oil did not leave the site.
State officials say much of the oil has been carried at least some distance by floodwaters, meaning recovering it could be difficult or impossible. And wherever oil is found, regulators will face the challenge of figuring out where it came from and who should be responsible for cleaning it up.
Authorities in Weld County have said their concern over spilled oil is eclipsed by much greater volumes of sewage and other contaminants washing into local waterways.
Inspectors from the state and the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency planned further reconnaissance work over the weekend to look for additional spills. More finds were anticipated.
Besides Anadarko's storage tank spills, the state oil commission has tallied 11 minor spills. Those were described by the agency as sheens of oil coming off pieces of equipment.
Colorado Floods: How To Help
The recent floods are impacting families and communities throughout Colorado, so CBS4 has compiled a list of ways you can support the local communities impacted by the floods.
– BY MATTHEW BROWN, Associated Press
(© Copyright 2013 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.)


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Feb 21 - 1955
Dear Cousin: -
Rec'd your letter and lovely get well card
which James was happy to receive. "Thank
you so much" for sending it.
We are having a lot of winter, not so much
snow and very light stuff. but awfully cold
all time, surely eats the coal bin. We will
be glad to see spring in hopes James' will
get to feeling better.
Yes I hear from cousin Eural Bake once
in a while but can't be very helpful to him
in genealogy which I'm sorry off.
My son's mother.in.law passed away at
Seattle Wash. this week she was 77. died
very suddenly of a heart attack, so we've
been rather shocked around here after
getting the news.
Haven't seen Mabel for nearly two weeks
they have had bad colds so she hasn't
been down, have talked to her on the phone
a couple of times. my older sister Annie
is still in very poor health. she lives at
Provo, Utah with her daughter. her grandson
is going on a mission soon as college
closes in June. Must close again as
James doctor is knocking at the door
"Love" from Lizzie.
Lizzie's husband, James Lusk Jones died a month later after writing this letter.
Amanuensis Monday is an ongoing series created by John Newmark at Transylvanian Dutch.


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David Schlemko had a chance to preserve the Phoenix Coyotes' fading playoff hopes, and he came through.
Mikkel Boedker and Schlemko scored in the shootout to lift Phoenix to a 3-2 victory over the Chicago Blackhawks on Saturday night, snapping the Coyotes' three-game losing streak and keeping them within range of the final Western Conference postseason berth.
Schlemko, a defenseman taking the first shootout attempt of his career, beat Corey Crawford with a high wrist shot for the deciding score in the third round of the tiebreaker to end Chicago's seven-game winning streak.
"I finally got a chance, so I figured I'd better bury it," Schlemko said. "We're fighting for our lives. That extra point is huge and I think we deserve it.
With four games remaining, the 11th-place Coyotes moved three points behind Columbus for the eighth and last playoff spot in the West. Detroit is one point behind the Blue Jackets and Dallas another point back and one ahead of Phoenix. Columbus has three games left, while the Red Wings and Stars also have four remaining.
Patrick Kane had the lone shootout goal for Chicago against Mike Smith.
Rostislav Klesla and Radim Vrbata scored in the first period for Phoenix.
Smith made 36 saves through overtime in his return after missing two games with a lower-body injury. Smith frustrated the Blackhawks last season in the opening round of the playoffs, when Phoenix defeated Chicago in six games.
Smith was sharp on Saturday and big reason why the Coyotes pulled out the win. He was at his best in the first period when Chicago outshot Phoenix 16-9, but trailed the Coyotes 2-1.
"He was huge," Phoenix coach Dave Tippett said. "They with the (Jonathan) Toews lines and put some good pressure on us. ... We were kind of laughing after the first period. We needed to get Smitty into the game early, and he got into the game early."
Chicago defenseman Brent Seabrook scored two power-play goals in regulation for his first two-goal game this season and second of his career. Crawford had 29 saves through overtime.
Despite the loss, league-leading Chicago has points in 11 straight games (9-0-2). With 73 points overall, the Blackhawks are five ahead of Pittsburgh in the race for the NHL Presidents' Trophy. Both teams have four games left.
The Blackhawks were 2 for 4 on the power play against Phoenix. Chicago ended a string of 20 unsuccessful power-play chances over nine games on Friday night in a 5-4 overtime win over Nashville by scoring twice with the advantage.
An underperforming power play has been one of the few glitches for Chicago during the lockout-shortened regular season. The Blackhawks are trying to tune it for the playoffs.
"A couple of good shots by (Seabrook), a couple of good plays," Chicago captain Jonathan Toews said. "Both (power-play) units were doing some good things so it's nice to see."
Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville also liked his team's play with the man-advantage, adding, "I thought we had good motion and good movement, good options, It's nice to see some finished product."
Even if they had to settle for just one point on Saturday.
"We have a lot of confidence we can win those tight games but sometimes it doesn't go your way," Toews added. "We're more happy with the way we played then the result obviously. We'll take the good things from it and we're going on the road this week so we'll try and bounce back quick."
The Blackhawks dominated early as Smith made with several close-in saves, including point-blank stops on Jonathan Toews and Brandon Saad to keep it scoreless.
Seabrook finally put Chicago ahead 1-0 with a power-play goal on a high screened shot with 8:40 left in the first. He fired from the top of the left circle with Chicago's Andrew Shaw and Phoenix's Zbynek Michalek tussling in front of the crease.
The Blackhawks' momentum ended abruptly 46 seconds later, when Klesla tied it a 1-all on a bouncing dump-in from center ice. Klesla lobbed the puck toward the Chicago net from the left wing boards near the red line. Crawford dropped to his knees, and the puck bounded over him on a short hop.
"It's just a bad bounce," Crawford said. "There's nothing I can do about it now."
Vrbata then gave the energized Coyotes a 2-1 lead with 5:20 left in the period, beating Crawford from the left circle on with traffic in in front of the net.
Seabrook had the only goal in the second, tying it at 2 at 3:39 into the period with his second power-play score. Kane skated into the corner with his back to the play, but took a quick look over his shoulder and slipped a backhand pass to Seabrook, who had pinched into the left circle. Seabrook was wide open, ripped a shot past Smith and then celebrated his hot goal-scoring hand by blowing on his glove.
Both goalies made sharp saves early in the scoreless third, and Chicago's Marcus Kruger fired wide on a prime chance about 5 minutes into the period.
Early in overtime, Smith made a lunging glove save on Seabrook, then a quick stop on Toews.


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Capital Obscenity!
Back in February I wrote about the circuit split between the Ninth and Eleventh Circuits over the application of federal obscenity laws in the Internet age. This is a major issue of law that a majority of the Court, in concurring and dissenting opinions of 2002's Ashcroft v. ACLU, first telegraphed its interest in updating, revisiting, or outright abandoning.
This week, another obscenity trial begins in Judge Leon's federal district courtroom here in DC. Via Mike Scarcella of the National Law Journal:
Stagliano and two of his companies were indicted in federal district court in Washington in April 2008 on seven counts of distributing obscene, sexually graphic videos that U.S. Justice Department prosecutors allege have no artistic or scientific value and cut against the community standard of what is acceptable. He faces up to 32 years behind bars if convicted.
Jury selection is under way and opening arguments are expected to begin this week in the first adult porn obscenity case in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia in more than 20 years. "There won't be any falling asleep in this courtroom," Judge Richard Leon said at a hearing in the case June 14. "I can assure you of that." […]
[Stagliano's lawyers are] arguing that Stagliano has a right to possess and to distribute sexually explicit material. The lawyers contend federal obscenity standards are too vague to govern Internet speech. The sexual acts in the movies were lawful, the lawyers said, and the participants were consenting adults. "The right of sexual privacy has evolved as society's attitudes about sexuality have evolved," Corn-Revere said in court papers in July 2008. "Liberty now gives substantial protection to adult persons in deciding how to conduct their private lives in matters pertaining to sex. This protection is broad enough to encompass a right to buy and sell obscene materials."
In declining to dismiss the indictment earlier this year, Leon said the federal obscenity statutes are not unconstitutionally vague as applied to Internet speech. "Although public morality may be an insufficient justification for regulating private conduct in some cases, it is certainly a sufficient justification for regulating the sort of public conduct at issue here," Leon wrote.
Beyond the racy subject matter and evidence to be presented to the district court this week, we will also witness some scintillating constitutional law discussions. The above passage points to Stagliano's use of Lawrence to argue invalidation of federal obscenity laws under the Due Process Clause of the Fifth Amendment's right to privacy.* This argument worked in the Western District of Pennsylvania in 2005, but ever since the Third Circuit rebuked and reversed the district court and the Supreme Court denied certiorari, appeals to Lawrence have gone unheeded.
So to further push the issue of federal obscenity laws before the Supreme Court, expect also to see attacks on the "community standards" prong of the Miller test, which courts use to determine whether material is obscene:
Lawrence Walters, a First Amendment lawyer who specializes in representing clients in adult entertainment, said obscenity cases have historically been filed in districts that are generally viewed as conservative. "It may result in one of the first cases where a more cosmopolitan jury has made a determination of obscenity with regard to adult material," said Walters of Walters Law Group in Altamonte Springs, Fla.
Although the Supreme Court and lower courts ultimately came to implicitly interpret "community standards" to be those of the location in which the material was sent, the Ninth Circuit in late 2009 stated that national community standards should apply in a jury's determining Internet obscenity.
Depending on how this jury rules, the inevitable appeal will likely feature an attack on local community standards – either as too permissive in a big city should Stagliano get acquitted or too arbitrary should he get convicted. Either way, however, the recent circuit split over the community standards prong will be made more ripe for Supreme Court review.
The question, then, becomes whether the Court will conform to its opinions in Ashcroft I or not. Thomas, Scalia, and Rehnquist were perfectly satisfied with local standards. Might Roberts, given his First Amendment protectiveness this term, deviate from his predecessor's vote? In refusing to extend the Court's obscenity jurisprudence to dogfighting in United States v. Stevens, Roberts said nothing of material that actually does fall within the Court's sex-tethered definition of obscenity. But in siding with the government in Holder v. Humanitarian Law Project for national security concerns, the Chief showed himself willing to favor traditionally conservative concerns–of which the protection of morals-based laws have long figured–over First Amendment absolutism.
Meanwhile, O'Connor wrote in favor of a national standard, but her successor, Alito, will likely go with local standards, given his lone Stevens dissent this term.
Kennedy wrote for Ginsburg and Souter suggesting that the local standards should be reconsidered, but didn't tip his hand on what side upon which he'd come down until he had more evidence to make such a determination. Adding uncertainty upon that concurrence's uncertainty, we don't know how Sotomayor would have voted then or now, and Ginsburg may not even be on the Court by the time this case may make it up there.
And finally, Justice Stevens, the lone dissenter in Ashcroft arguing to toss community standards altogether as applied to the Internet, may not have as zealous of a successor in Elena Kagan.
This trial, and its aftermath, will surely be something worth watching.
*Lawrence concerned state laws, so the Fourteenth Amendment's Due Process Clause governed; this case tests federal obscenity laws, which implicate the Fifth Amendment's analogous language securing against deprivation of liberty without due process of law.
UPDATE: 7/13 – Scarcella provides a report from today's introduction of evidence to the jurors.
3 Responses
[…] First One @ One First's Mike Sacks discusses the constitutional issue – on which there is a split among the circuits – lurking in a pending obscenity trial: whether, when evaluating materials disseminated over the internet, a jury ought to apply national or local "community standards." Print This Post • […]
[…] the federal district court here in DC just threw out the government's obscenity prosecution I wrote about a few days ago. Via Mike Scarcella of the Legal Times: Leon today ruled that the prosecution, led […]
[…] the Court over either judgment. Then, in a case in the D.C. District Court this summer, a deeper split looked possible–the judge had refused to follow Kilbride in a published denial of defendant's motion to […]


text:
Rio from above
If you think Rio is beautiful, then you ought to see it from the air. Possibly the best way to do this is on a paragliding flight over the beach. A tip from cabin attendant Carlos Duarte
"I really thought that I'd seen everything from the air – until the day I went paragliding in Rio. The view you get of the world-famous panorama surpasses anything you can see from a plane. All you have to do is register in a tiny office on the beautiful beach of São Conrado. It's probably best to book a time slot in advance. Once you've done this you set off for the jump site, up a steep, narrow little road that takes you up to the top of Pedra Bonita at a height of 520 meters. Even though the way up is a bit of an adventure, what comes afterwards more than makes up for it."


text:
An overview shot of California Adventure. You can see the Matterhorn over at Disneyland in the distance.
Look past the San Francisco area back toward Grizzly Peak.
This river seams nice and calm, I wonder what all the fuss is about?
Grizzly Peak
Ruth getting ready for a boat ride on the Grizzly River.
We're about to get soaked!
After being thoroughly soaked on Grizzly River Rapids
Sitting on some rock bears at California Adventure
The California Screamin' rollercoaster. It launches you from 0 to 55 miles per hour in less than 5 seconds.
Our photo from California Screamin'
The loop in California Screamin' as seen from the Sun Wheel ferris wheel.
The Orange Stinger swing ride.
Look closely, there's Matt in one of the Sun Wheel cabins. Ferris wheels make Ruth queezy so she sat this one out.
The construction for the Tower of Terror is just getting started.
Matt sprays a duck.
Matt and Sleeping Beauty Castle
Dumbo and a flying elephant - hey wait a minute!
Ruth in Dumbo
I guess Dumbo made Ruth a little dizzy.
Matt and Ruth taking a break in a quiet spot in Disneyland.
Matt takes a spin in the Astro Orbiter.
Ruth watches from the railing as Matt rides the Astro Orbiter.
Matt on the Mark Twain Riverboat.
Old train on Tom Sawyer Island
Ruth enjoys a tasty beverage.
The elephant pool in the Jungle Cruise ride.
Zebra and giraffes in the Jungle Cruise
Pluto and Ruth
It's a Small World being repainted back to its original color scheme.
Separated at birth?
The King Arthur Carousel was being rebuilt from the ground up.
Road hog!
Car fountain in Autopia
It's the wildest ride in the willlllldernes!
Matt trapped in a monkey cage.
Ruth riding the Casey Jr. Circus Train
Storybookland Canal as seen from Casey Jr.
Mermaids on the Peter Pan ride.
Ruth screaming on Big Thunder Mountain
Woody strolls through Frontierland.
Ruth at a fountain in the Downtown Disney shopping district.


text:
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text:
DR. HOOK- Me, me, me: Only themselves to blame
How do you read this advertisement? "It's All About ME"
One of my best friends says this all the time, and so when he showed me this ad, I thought it was all about– him. However, it's a vacation ad for Maine (ME).
In the show Medium, the psychic heroine keeps getting a message from the grave about who the killer was: "It was me, it was me." However, "ME" stood for "medical examiner."
Are we all that egocentric?
Q: "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?"
A: "Zero. The light bulb has to want to change."
I had a medical school classmate with true narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) who ironically went into psychiatry; he would have answered, "Are there other psychiatrists besides me?"
Fewer than one percent of the population has NPD, but a lot more have narcissistic traits: 1) Grandiose sense of self-importance (all of Wall Street, Capitol Hill, Hollywood, and Naomi Campbell); 2) Preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love (The Apprentice); 3) Believes he or she is "special" and unique– can be understood only by other special or high-status people (The Hiltons); 4) Requires excessive admiration (Anna Nicole Smith); 5) Sense of entitlement (Teenagers– and actually a lot of adults); 6) Interpersonally exploitative (David Sedaris); 7) Lacks empathy (George Bush– oops, did that slip out?); 8) Often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him/her (LaToya Jackson); 9) Arrogant behaviors or attitudes (Michael Eisner).
Narcissistic personality disorder requires at least five traits but also a pattern of behavior that is inflexible and leads to significant distress or social impairment. The way I look at it, narcissistic traits are irritating to others– and NPD is unbearable for most.
For example, when Sandra Bernhard's pregnant character on Roseanne asks, "Does this stroller make me look fat?" you have to laugh at that. But when Zsa Zsa Gabor slaps a police officer after she breaks the law, that's not funny.
If you noticed, most of my examples were performers, and NPD people are "dramatic, emotional, and erratic." In a different country, it might be considered "eccentric," but here in the States, it is called "pain in the tuckus."
As a physician, working with a patient who has NPD can be both a blessing and a curse. Because the patient is focused on himself, it can be easy to have him take his medications and follow instructions because it's "all about me." On the other hand, the slightest perceived glitch can mean 20 slashes with a wet noodle.
"What do you mean you won't give me that prescription?! Do you know who I am, Mr. Man– oh, excuse me, Dr. Man?!"
"Patients? You're seeing other patients? I need you now, and I want what I want now!" (Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory beautifully sang, "Don't care how, I want it now!" before falling down the "Bad Egg" slide.) Some NPD won't take any advice a physician gives because they're lost in their own little– er, big– world and believe only they know the truth.
Can everything be medicated? No, but NPD patients sometimes can benefit from psychiatric medications like mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, anxiolytics, and antidepressants. Lexapro anybody?
I'm not sure how my NPD classmate is doing as a psychiatrist. I also had a friend with NPD who became a psychiatrist and interestingly lives in LA now. I fear their sessions with patients go like this, "Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh– Okay, I have a facial in 10 minutes, so speed it up. You haven't told me anything that I haven't already experienced myself.
"Nurse! My throat feels like the Sahara. Get me Perrier. Do you like my watch? It's Cartier. Oh, time's up! See you next week."


text:
Get Your Free Audiobook
Vanishing Point
Publisher's Summary
Jonathan Vail's novel made him famous. His disappearance made him a legend. Thirty-five years ago, the young writer embarked on a camping trip in Utah's Slickrock Canyon, never to be seen again. His journal vanished with him. Now, archivist Claire Reynier, preserver of Vail's legacy, finds herself drawn into literature's most elusive mystery. But separating fact from fiction proves to be a dangerous proposition.
The search for the missing diary has led Claire to a case of cold-blooded murder committed in the shadow of Vail family secrets - and linked to a devoted fan determined to keep the mystery of Jonathan Vail's vanishing buried forever.
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What members say
- Beatrice
- 01-08-13
Nice story
This was a nice story with an intersting plot and strong character development. It flowed nicely and there were a couple of twists and turns to keep you interested. Although it was a good mystery there was no excitement. It was like taking a stroll along a familiar trail. You know what's there but you enjoy it anyway. I would recommend it and I might buy the next book in the series.


text: Simon Hoegsberg captured 178 people over 20 days standing from the same spot on a railroad bridge in Berlin. Then he put the photos together in what could be the world's largest panorama (100 meters, yes meters, wide!). The presentation is a bit gimmicky for me but there are some interesting moments captured. Below are a few random crops from the enormous piece.


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The Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch (1969–1974) was an American television situation comedy, airing on ABC and NET (now PBS), based around a large blended family.
Theme song[edit]
Here's the story of a lovely lady Who was bringing up three very lovely girls. All of them had hair of gold, like their mother, The youngest one in curls.
Here's the story, of a man named Brady, Who was busy with three boys of his own, They were four men, living all together, Yet they were all alone.
Till the one day when the lady met this fellow, And they knew it was much more than a hunch, That this group would somehow form a family. That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch.
The Brady Bunch, the Brady Bunch That's the way we became the Brady Bunch.
Season 1[edit]
The Honeymoon [1.1][edit]
- Alice: I don't blame you for being nervous, Mr. Brady. This is a very important Saturday.
- Mike: [puts sugar into his coffee] Why should I be nervous? What makes you think I'm nervous?
- Alice: It's the first time I ever saw you take twenty-one spoons of sugar.
- Mike: [pauses] I like it sweet.
- Carol: [on the phone] Im sorry Mike. Cindy thought there are real butterflies in my stomach.
- Mike: You're lucky if you only get butterflies. I've got six flying saucers in mine. And you're right.
- Carol: [stressed, hair undone, in the middle of using make up] How could you girls sit there and say I look beautiful?
- Cindy: Because we love you.
- Peter: [to Mike] I once saw a movie where a man was getting married. He was so nervous he forgot to put his pants on.
- Bobby: [looks under the table] You're OK, dad.
- Peter: [to Carol, about Mike] This morning he put 21 spoons sugar into the coffee
- Mike: You're exaggerating.
- Bobby: But he didn't forget his pants.
- Desk clerk: Oh, Mr. Brady, you have signed this Mr. Brady, Mrs. Brady and family.
- Mike: Hmm, I forgot. It's force of habit. Kids aren't with us.
- Desk clerk: But you did ask for the honeymoon suite.
- Carol: Oh, it's quite alright Mr. Pringle. You see …
- Mike: [interrupts her] It's quite alright darling. No need to explain. It's obvious that this gentleman doesn't dig the modern generation.
- Mike: How would you girls like to come along with us?
- Jan: On your honeymoon?
- Carol: That's right.
- Cindy: Alright. I've never been on a honeymoon.
- Jan: Neither have I, and I am older than you are.
- Bobby: Wow, I'd love to go on a honeymoon. What should I take?
- Greg: A girl, dummy!
Dear Libby [1.2][edit]
- Carol: I don't hear anything
- Mike: What's the matter with that?
- Carol: Six kids and no noise. That's what's the matter with that… I've never heard such a loud silence.
- Alice: If there's anything I can't stand, it's a perfect kid. And six of them...YEECH!
- Cindy: [upon finding out it's another family] I sure am glad we're not Harry Hopeless!
Eenie, Meenie, Mommy, Daddy [1.3][edit]
- Alice: Anyone offering a trip to Europe for the right answer?
- Alice: Look who gets to go.
- Cindy: [takes off blindfold] Brazil!
- Cindy: [as she picks off flower petals] Eenie, Meenie, Mommy, Daddy.
Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore [1.4][edit]
- Mike: It's just not gonna be the same without Alice.
- Greg: Well, we can't make her stay. Abraham Lincoln put a stop to that.
Katchoo [1.5][edit]
- Carol: I'm afraid we were going to get rid of daddy!
A Clubhouse Is Not a Home [1.6][edit]
- Mike: Well then?
- Greg: We're sick of doing all these things.
- Peter: Do this, do that, they're a real pain.
- Bobby: Yeah, they're too bossy.
Kitty Karry-All Is Missing [1.7][edit]
- [Cindy's doll has gone missing and she blames Bobby]
- Greg: Come on, Bobby, you can tell us.
- Bobby: What?
- Peter: Where did you hide Cindy's doll?
- Bobby: I didn't hide it, like I told Mom.
- Peter: Honest?
- Bobby: Honest.
- Greg: Would you swear to it? The sacred oath?
- Bobby: Even the sacred oath.
- Peter: Boy, that proves he didn't take it. No sir!
- [In girls' room]
- Marcia: Are you sure Bobby took her?
- Cindy: Sure I am, he said he hated Kitty!
- Jan: I heard him say it lots of times.
- Cindy: And she doesn't even have her bottle, she'll starve to death!
- Marcia: Come on. (takes Cindy's hand)
- Cindy: Where are we going?
- Marcia: We're gonna get that doll back.
- Jan: Yeah. (They leave for boys' room)
- [Back in boys' room]
- Peter: If Bobby didn't take it, Cindy shouldn't say he did.
- Greg: Right. Come on, she can't accuse him and get away with it. (They leave for girls' room)
- [Girls enter the boys' room]
- Marcia: Bobby, you give Kitty back or... (they realize room is empty)
- [Boys enter the girls' room]
- Greg: Now listen here, Cindy, you... (they realize room is empty, Greg turns towards the open bathroom door) Come on.
- [The children meet in the bathroom]
- Marcia: Bobby, you give Kitty back!
- Greg: You stop picking on him!
- Jan: What did you do with her?
- Peter: He didn't do anything with her!
- Cindy: He did too!
- Bobby: I did not!
- Marcia: You did so!
- Greg: He did not so!
- Marcia: Oh yeah?
- Greg: Yeah!
- [Mike and Carol enter]
- Mike: Hey, hey, hey, what's going on in here?
- [The kids argue]
- Mike: Hold it! Will somebody fill me in?
- Carol: Well, Cindy's doll is missing, and the girls think Bobby took it.
- Mike: Well, Bobby?
- Bobby: I didn't take it!
- Marcia: He did too!
- Greg: He did not!
- [The kids argue]
- Mike: Hut! Alright, everybody into his room, come on, hurry up!
- [The kids all leave for their respective rooms]
- Greg: Bobby didn't take the doll, he didn't do it!
- Mike: Quiet. (shuts the boys' room door)
- [Mike is explaining circumstantial evidence]
- Bobby: Circum-special?
- Mike: No, circumstantial. It means things look different than they really are.
- Cindy: You mean like when a lady puts on false eyelashes?
- [After the mock trial, Greg and Bobby are playing baseball outside]
- Greg: Harder.
- Greg: Come on, Bobby, burn it in.
- [Mike and Carol arrive home]
- Mike: Hey, Greg's playing with Bobby. That little talk about fair play seems to have done some good.
- Greg: Hey, dad.
- Mike: Yes?
- Greg: Would you burn some in for me? Bobby can't even dit my glove.
- Mike: Maybe later, Greg. Why don't you ask Peter? He's a good pitcher.
- Greg: Yeah, a good pitcher, but a rotten jury. Come on, Bobby.
- Carol: What's that all about?
- Mike: Don't ask me, I only live here.
- Bobby: Now let's see, if I was a doll, where would I go?
- Greg: To me, sweetheart!
A-Camping We Will Go [1.8][edit]
- Bobby: Well I guess women are okay for somethings.
- (The Bradys will all go on their first camping trip together)
- Marcia: But mother, us on a camping trip? We've told you it's way worse than death!
- Jan: Do you expect me to sleep in a tent?
- Cindy: With wild animals?
- Carol: Girls, we're not going to Africa. We're just going camping.
- Marcia: And camping is for boys!
- Carol: Camping is for boys and girls. Why, it's so much fun falling asleep on the ground.
- Jan: On the ground, all those beetles are crawling around. Yuck!
- Cindy: Yeah, yuck!
- Carol: Why, you haven't got the faintest idea how delightful it is out there under the stars, being lulled to sleep by the sound of crickets, and then awakening in the morning to the smell of bacon frying over an open fire.
- Marcia: How many times have you been camping, Mom?
- Carol: Well, never, but I've heard about it.
- Jan: And I've heard about it, too, and you can count me out. (collapses on the bed)
- Carol: You are counted in, young lady. We have three new brothers and a new father, and if they like camping, we like camping. Now, there'll be no more discussion about it; the decision has been made.
Sorry, Right Number [1.9][edit]
Every Boy Does It Once [1.10][edit]
- Marcia: Hi and bye, small fry.
- Peter: I'm sorry, I won't tell anybody!
- Greg: Won't tell what?
- Peter: I told you, I can't tell you! I promised Bobby, the only reason he told me is, cause I'm his brother.
- Greg: Well, so am I, dummy!
- Bobby: Nobody said goodbye to me or anything, and I didn't think they cared.
- Carol: Oh sweetheart, everybody cares. And I bet you your baseball cards you can't guess who cares the most.
- Bobby: You? (Carol nods) Even though I'm only a step?
- Carol: Listen, the only steps in this house are those (shows Bobby the stairs), the ones that lead up to your bedroom. So how about marching right back up there?
- Bobby: Hey Dad, Mom and me are back home again!
- Mike: Good, cause that's where you both belong!
Vote for Brady [1.11][edit]
The Voice of Christmas [1.12][edit]
- Alice: You're guaranteed to be cured in 24 hours.
- Carol: 24 hours!!?
- Alice: Unless you break out in a rash. Then you take it off.
- Peter: [to Alice] You can't throw the turkey away, it's got my favorite dressing.
- Cindy: He's better than a doctor, he's Santa Claus!
- Greg: Now, don't let the girls catch you hiding these.
- Bobby: If they catch me, should I eat the present?
- Peter: Eat it! [to Greg] He's been watching too many of those spy programs.
Is There a Doctor in the House? [1.13][edit]
- Carol: Oh Alice, have you seen the thermometer?
- Alice:Well lets see, the last time used was with the roast beef.
- Greg: It's sure great how some people can sing while other people are dying!
- Alice: You got everything here?
- Carol: Well, I think so. 6 luncheon trays, 5 comic books, 4 jigsaw puzzles,...
- [to the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas] 3 magic tricks,
- 2 ice cream bars,...
- Carol and Mike: And one cow bell!
- Peter: What's a 5-letter word for exhaustion?
- Alice: Alice!
- [Greg complains about his lunch]
- Mike: That's a feast fit for a king!
- Greg: Well then give it to the king and give me some baloney!
- Marica: Gentlemen...if you don't like the conversation in this room....
- Jan: Which by-the-way happens to be a WOMAN'S room....
- Marcia: True! Then you can simply VAMOOSE!
- Jan: Scram!
- Carol: Oh, Mike! Why don't we just put it off until you decide which doctor?
- Mike: At this point I'd SETTLE for a witch doctor.
- [Someone makes a comment about taking Jan's boat]
- Jan: Who cares? I get seasick, anyway.
Father of the Year [1.14][edit]
- Jan: You know who has the biggest mouth in the whole wide world next to you?
- Cindy: Who?
- Jan: NOBODY!
54-40 and Fight [1.15][edit]
- Cindy: Me first!
- Bobby: Why you?
- Cindy: 'Cause I'm a lady!
- Bobby: Aaaawwhhhh.
- Cindy: I am a lady, if you say I'm not, I'll bop you!
Mike's Horror-Scope [1.16][edit]
- Carol: [to Beebe after Bobby and Cindy's fight ends up in her being squirted in the face with a squirt gun] ...they didn't mean any harm...!
- Beebe: Neither did Frankenstein!
The Undergraduate [1.17][edit]
- Mike: Jungle fever is going around too but not in this neighborhood
Tiger, Tiger! [1.18][edit]
The Big Sprain [1.19][edit]
- Alice: [who has just tripped] My foot played a game of Chinese checkers...and lost.
- Greg (to Mike): Dad, I hate to interrupt you while you're on the phone, but...
- Mike (while on the phone with Carol): No, no, honey. Listen, I mean it. I really mean it.
- Greg: Peter's t-shirt got stuck in the vacuum.
- Mike (makes a confused look over Greg's shoulder.
- Carol (through the phone): What's all the commotion about?
- Mike: Um, nothing. Me and the kids are just playing, that's all.
- Greg: Peter's in the t-shirt!
- Mike: What?
Brace Yourself [1.20][edit]
- Marcia: [about her braces] Tell me the honest truth. Do I look funny?
- Cindy: Of course not, Marcia. You look beautiful.
- Jan: Thanks, Cindy!
- Cindy: But how do you get the toothpaste through all that barbed wire?
- Jan: [when Cindy is about to go into the bathroom] Marcia's in there.
- Cindy: Daddy said to act natural--and I always barge in on Marcia when she's in the bathroom!
- Alan: I can't take you to the dance.
- Marcia: Why not?
- Alan: Well, my parents are going out of town.
- Marcia: So what?
- Alan: I have to go with them.
- Marcia: I don't believe you. You just don't want to be seen with a girl who has braces, like I do now. I hate you, Alan Anthony. I hate EVERYBODY!
- Alan: No, wait Marcia. Honest
The Hero [1.21][edit]
- Alice: [to the deliveryman] You keep calling me sweetie, gorgeous & beautiful, and I'll follow you anywhere!
- Jason: Sorry, I can't make it. I have my piano lessons.
- Peter: I didn't know you knew how to play the piano.
- Jason: I don't. That's why I gotta take lessons.
The Possible Dream [1.22][edit]
- Marcia: [Marcia lost her Diary and is accusing one of the boys of taking it] Okay, if you hand it right over, I won't press charges
- Greg: What are you talking about?
- Marcia: As if you didn't know.
- Peter: Bobby, do you know what she's talking about?
- Bobby: No. Greg, do you know what she's talking about?
- Greg: No. Marcia, do you know what you're talking about?
- Marcia: I certainly do! Someone in this room took my diary.
- Greg: Your diary, you mean you actually keep one of those stupid things?
- Bobby: What's a diary?
- Peter: It's a book, that you write things in, that you don't want anyone else to read.
- Bobby: Why?
- Greg: So, you could write stuff like...
- Greg: [Greg then sits at his desk imitating Marcia writing in her diary] "Dear diary, at last I met him, my dream man. It was at the delicatessen and our fingers tingled as we reached for the same potato salad."
To Move or Not to Move [1.23][edit]
- Carol: [about the first strange noise] WHAT was that?
- Alice: It sounded like a cow died in the driveway.
- Carol: [about the strange noises] It's probably just the wind against the shutters.
- Alice: That would be a good guess, Mrs. Brady... if there was a wind... or we had shutters.
- Mrs. Hunsacker: You folks sure pick a strange time of the year to celebrate Halloween.
- Bert Grossman: [trying to explain the strange noises] It was probably just the wind through the willow grove.
- [the noises start again]
- Mrs. Hunsacker: That was no wind through a willow grove.
- Bert Grossman: Would you believe steeple chimes?
The Grass is Always Greener [1.24][edit]
Lost Locket, Found Locket [1.25][edit]
- [During the re-enactment of the locket's disappearance; Bobby got back in bed]
- Bobby: Can I spit out my toothpaste?
- Greg: Why didn't you spit it out in the bathroom?
- Bobby: You said we had to just what we did before. I didn't spit then now cause I didn't spit then. And you know somethin'?
- Greg: What?
- Bobby: It's hard to talk with your mouth full of toothpaste.
- Peter: The suspense is killing me!
- Bobby: So is the toothpaste!
Season 2[edit]
The Dropout [2.1][edit]
The Babysitters [2.2][edit]
- Mike: Gas. Did we turn the gas off?
- Marcia: Dad, our stove is electric!
- Marcia: A babysitter?!
- Greg: For us?!
The Slumber Caper [2.3][edit]
- Marcia: Hello Jenny, this is Marcia. I called about the slumber party I'm having tomorrow night.
- Jenny: I can hardly wait.
- Marcia: Well, it's only for my friends.
- Jenny: Sure, I'm your friend Marcia.
- Marcia: Not anymore you're not. So considered yourself uninvited! [Marcia hangs up the phone]
The Un-Underground Movie [2.4][edit]
- Greg: Peter, snow!
Going, Going... Steady [2.5][edit]
Call Me Irresponsible [2.6][edit]
The Treasure of Sierra Avenue [2.7][edit]
A Fistful of Reasons [2.8][edit]
- Buddy Hinton: Baby talk, baby talk, it's the wonder you can walk.
- Cindy: You stop that Buddy Hinton!
- Buddy Hinton: Stop that! Oh witty bitty baby talk. There is no witty bitty baby talk say something. Come on, say something.
- Peter: (witnesses it and intervenes) Cut that out, Buddy!
- Buddy Hinton: Baby, baby, what did you say?
- Peter: Quit teasing my sister!
- (Peter and Cindy are walking home, until Buddy Hinton taunts them)
- Buddy Hinton: Well, if it isn't Baby Talk and her big brother Chicken again.
- Cindy: You leave us alone.
- Mike's voice [inside his head while standing toe-to-toe with Ralph Hinton]: I'm just going to reason with him. Reasoning; calm, cool reasoning.
- Mike: Oh, shut up!
- Carol's voice [inside her head while talking with Mrs. Hinton]: Women are different, we'll just sit calmly and work everything out.
- Carol: Oh, shut up!
The Not So Ugly-Duckling [2.9][edit]
The Tattletale [2.10][edit]
- Carol: Strain a guppy out of his fish tank?
- Greg: Tattletale!
- Mike: All right, that's enough.
- Cindy: But I didn't do anything wrong. Peter stained the guppy.
- Mike: All right what Peter did was wrong and what you did was wrong, too. You know that's none of your business. Your tattling is not right and could get other people into trouble.
- Bobby: I'm not lending everything to a snitcher!
- Cindy: I'm not a snitcher. I just tell it like it is.
- Bobby: Well I'm not lending you my skate key after the way you squealed on Greg and Peter!
- Cindy: Okay, I'll tell what you did yesterday.
- Bobby: You little fink!
What Goes Up... [2.11][edit]
- (Carol, Alice and Cindy are looking after Bobby)
- Alice: (brings another pillow to rest Bobby's leg) If you ask me, I think it's a miracle.
- Carol: Yes, that he only sprained his ankle.
- Alice: No, I meant that it's a miracle that you have a doctor that makes housecalls.
- Cindy: He didn't even ask Bobby to stick out his tongue and say "Ah".
- Alice: Well, that's just when you sprain the tonsil. Come on, Florence Nightingale, you can help me in the kitchen, making hospital corners on the napkins.
- Tiger: [barking and running down the stairs]
- Bobby: Mom, Dad, my parakeet's loose! Tiger, stop scaring my parakeet!
- (Mike got Bobby a parakeet)
- Peter: Boy, a parakeet just for a sprained ankle. Can I get an alligator if I broke my leg?
- Mike: No, so don't try it.
Confessions, Confessions [2.12][edit]
- Peter: Does anybody know why Dad called this meeting?
- Marcia: I do. He's gonna tell everybody I broke the vase. I confessed.
- Greg: Oh, no.
- Marcia: Well, somebody had to take the blame.
- Greg: I told Mom I did it.
- Bobby: Me too.
- Jan: Thud. (collapses on the chair)
- Bobby: You too? (Jan nods)
- Cindy: I guess we all confessed.
The Impractical Joker [2.13][edit]
Where There's Smoke [2.14][edit]
- Tommy Johnson: Hey man, they're just plain cigarettes.
- Cindy: Greg's smoking.
Will the Real Jan Brady Please Stand Up? [2.15][edit]
- Wig seller (Guest star Marcia Wallace): Ah, that's our 'Midnight Temptress' wig.
- Jan: 'Midnight Temptress', huh? Well, I don't think I'll be out that late.
The Drummer Boy [2.16][edit]
(Peter, Jan and Cindy are practising "The Bonnie Banks o' Loch Lomond" for the glee club)
- Cindy: By yon bonnie banks
- Peter, Jan: And by yon bonnie braes
- (Bobby's drum solo chimes in)
- Peter, Jan, Cindy: Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond
- Cindy: How are we supposed to practice?
- Peter: You can hear these drums all the way to Loch Lomond.
- Jan: Right now I wish Bobby was in the glee club.
- Peter: I wish he was in Loch Lomond.
Coming Out Party [2.17][edit]
Our Son, The Man [2.18][edit]
- Greg: Remember Dad, we're talking man-to-man, not kid-to-man man-to-man, but man-to-man, man-to-man.
The Liberation of Marcia Brady [2.19][edit]
- Peter: I am a little Sunflower; sunny, brave and true. From tiny bud to blosssom, I do good deeds for you.
Lights Out [2.20][edit]
The Winner [2.21][edit]
Doubled Parked [2.22][edit]
Alice's September Song [2.23][edit]
Tell It Like It Is [2.24][edit]
- Peter: A neck tie!?
- Greg: Sure Pete. When your famous you cant look like a slob.
- Bobby: Does that mean you have to wear clean socks too?
- Greg: (ignoring Bobby) There, now how I look?
- Peter: Like a slob with a tie!
Season 3[edit]
Ghost Town U.S.A [3.1][edit]
Grand Canyon or Bust [3.2][edit]
The Brady Braves [3.3][edit]
The Wheeler Dealer [3.4][edit]
- Mike: A gentle reminder, my boy: your name is Brady, not Onassis.
- Carol: I don't have to be logical; I'm a mother.
My Sister, Benedict Arnold [3.5][edit]
- Greg [Describing Warren Mulaney to Marcia]: He's at the top of my crumb list! In fact, he's at the bottom of my crumb list, too. And he's every crumb in-between.
The Personality Kid [3.6][edit]
- Peter [Impersonating Humphrey Bogart]: Porkchops and applesauce, that's swell!
Juliet Is The Sun [3.7][edit]
- Marcia: One line. It's different with me. I'm a star.
- Jan: [to Marcia] Well lah-de-dah!
- Cindy: What does that mean?
- Jan: It means that Marcia's being a pain in the neck.
- Cindy: Oh, [to Marcia] well lah-de-dah!
And Now a Word From Our Sponsor [3.8][edit]
The Private Ear [3.9][edit]
- Bobby: You did!
- Cindy: I didn't!
- Bobby: You did too!
- Cindy: I did not!
- Greg: Hey, what are you two arguing about?
- Bobby: Well, you might wanna know, she told everyone else. I got called into the principal's office for chewing gum in class!
Her Sister's Shadow [3.10][edit]
- Jan: Well, all I hear all day long at school is how great Marcia is at this how wonderful Marcia did that. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!
Click [3.11][edit]
Getting Davy Jones [3.12][edit]
- Peter (to Marcia): I got it! Take this down. 'To Davy Jones. Dear Sir, you have just won a 10 million dollar sweepstakes. For information, contact Marcia Brady at...'
- Greg: What's that got to do with singing at the prom?
- Peter: Nothing, but it would sure get his attention.
The Not-So-Rose-Colored Glasses [3.13][edit]
- Jan: Glasses? Oh no, Mom, not glasses. I'll look positively goofy.
The Teeter Totter Caper [3.14][edit]
Big Little Man [3.15][edit]
- Bobby: She's right. I'm a pee-wee, I'll always be a pee-wee.
- Sam: Look, don't you think I know how you feel? I had the same hangup when I was a kid, only worse.
- Bobby: You did?
- Sam: Yeah. Well, I weighed only 4 pounds when I was born, my old man wanted to send me back. I even flunked out of kindergarten, you know why?
- Bobby: Why?
- Sam: I was such a peewee the teacher kept marking me absent. (laughs)
- (Carol is looking at Bobby stretching himself outside)
- Mike: What are you looking at?
- Carol: Bobby. You think it's good for him to stretch himself like that?
- Mike: Never hurt Tarzan.
- Carol: Oh, think what it did to Jane.
- Mike: Honey, he's not gonna hurt himself.
- Carol: He's at it all the time.
- Mike: So?
- Carol: Well, if his arms stretch and his legs don't, he may grow up to look like Cheetah. (both laugh)
- (Bobby returns to his room to measure himself, but he's not any taller than before)
- Bobby: (dejectedly) Nothing. Still the same size. (pushes the door open)
- Marcia: Bobby, you got to give yourself a little time.
- Bobby: Guess I better stretch more.
- (Bobby returns to stretching)
- (Jan and Cindy look on, Marcia joins them)
- Marcia: Poor Bobby. He keeps measuring himself all the time.
- Cindy: And he gets grumpier and grumpier.
- Jan: No wonder, he's trying so hard to get tall.
- Marcia: If he would just grow a little. Even half an inch would encourage him.
- Bobby: Mom, dad, it works! Stretching myself really works! I grew an inch and a half!
- Mike: How much?
- Bobby: A whole inch and a half!
- Carol: Oh, honey, maybe you grew, but I don't think an inch and a half.
- Mike: Not since yesterday.
- Bobby: But I measured myself three times! A half inch, plus one whole inch!
- Cindy: No, it's only a half an inch!
- Bobby: How do you know it's only half an inch?
- Cindy: Well...
- Mike: Yeah, how do you know, Cindy?
- Cindy: I made the mark a half inch lower, so that Bobby would think he grew!
- Mike: Cindy!
- Cindy: I'm sorry!
- Bobby: Well, that's okay, I still grew an inch!
- Jan: No, only half an inch.
- Carol: You did the same thing too? (Jan nods)
- Bobby: Well, a half inch isn't bad.
- Marcia: Bobby.
- Carol: Oh, no.
- Marcia: I guess we should have checked with each other.
- Bobby: That's the dirtiest trick I've ever heard of! (runs off)
- Mike: Bobby. They weren't trying to trick you. I don't think that what they did was right--
- Carol: They were only trying to help.
- Bobby: They did it because they know it's true!
- Carol: Now what's true?
- Bobby: I'm a shrimpo, a peewee, I'll never grow another inch as long as I live! (runs up the stairs)
- Alice: Anything you want from the market, Mrs. Brady?
- Carol: Did I leave something off the list?
- Alice: No, I just thought I'd do something a little special for Bobby. Sometimes you can help a sad little heart with a happy little tummy.
- Carol: Ah, that's very sweet of you, Alice. What are you going to fix him?
- Alice: His favorite dessert: Strawberry tall cake.
- Carol: Strawberry tall cake?
- Alice: Mrs. Brady, from now on I am not using the word "short" anymore. (leaves)
- (Bobby walks in)
- Carol: Hi, Bobby! Hey, wait a minute, your clothes! (Bobby turns around with a black eye)
- Carol: Bobby, your eye! What in the world happened?
- Bobby: I got in a fight with Tommy Huxley.
- Carol: Tommy Huxley? He's twice as big as you are! Why doesn't he pick on somebody his own size?
- Bobby: Well, I picked on him.
- Carol: You started a fight? Why?
- Bobby: Well, he was acting like a big shot.
- Carol: Oh. Well, you weren't by any chance feeling like a little shot, were you?
- Bobby: Well, I am a little shot, that all I'll ever be!
- Carol: Oh, Bobby. Listen, you've heard about Napoleon Bonaparte, haven't you?
- Bobby: Yeah, he's that funny guy that always walked around with his hand on his stomach.
- Carol: Well, he was also a little guy. And he went around trying to prove how big he was by fighting everybody.
- Bobby: Did he win?
- Carol: Nope, just like you he got clobbered. So I really don't think that fighting is the answer. Do you, Bob?
- Bobby: Not if you lose.
Dough-Re-Mi [3.16][edit]
- Peter: Cindy stuck her tongue out of me.
- Carol: She's just a little girl.
- Peter: She has an awfully big tongue.
Jan's Aunt Jenny [3.17][edit]
The Big Bet [3.18][edit]
- (Bobby is training for the chin-up contest, falls from the bar)
- Marcia: I don't know why are you knocking yourself out, Bobby. Greg can beat you with one hand tied behind his back.
- Bobby: You welcher, I'm gonna go tell Mom and Dad!
- (Greg had lost the chin-up bet against Bobby and has to act as Bobby's servant for a week)
- Marcia: Will you be finished soon?
- Jan: We have to get to the library before it closes.
- Greg: What's that got to do with me?
- Marcia: You're driving us.
- Greg: (laughs) I'm not driving you to the library!
- Jan: Yes you are, Bobby said so.
- Marcia: We'll wait in the car.
- (Mike's high school reunion is coming up, Carol tries to guess who was "Bobo" in his class)
- Carol: I wonder what Bobo could be a nickname for? Let's see, Bernice Sheeran? Bernice? Bobo? (disagrees)
- Mike: (trying to confuse Carol) Sally.
- Carol: Sally? Oh no, how could Bobo stand for Sally?
- Mike: Betty.
- Carol: Betty? Betty! Bobo, Betty, Bobo, yeah.
- Mike: Zelda.
- Carol: (hits Mike with a pillow) Michael Brady, that's terrible! And that's for Sally, (hit) and that is for Betty, (hit) and that is for Zelda! (hit)
- (Bobby invited himself along to Greg's date with Rachel)
- (Greg and Rachel are at the drive-in theater in the front seat of Mike's convertible, in an embrace)
- Bobby: (From the backseat) You're blocking my view! (Greg and Rachel move apart) And I want some more popcorn.
- Greg: You've already had three bags.
- Bobby: Then I want some pizza.
- Greg: I'll be back in a minute, Rachel. (Gets out of the car)
- Bobby: (Jumps into the front seat) Boy, you can really see better from up here.
- Rachel: (Unenthused) Uh-huh.
- Bobby: Neat movie, isn't it?
- Rachel: Yeah, real neat.
- Bobby: Having fun, huh?
- Rachel: We're having a ball.
- Bobby: You see, I told Greg if I came you wouldn't mind.
- Greg: (Returns) Here's the pizza you ordered. And that's all the food you get, our bet had nothing to do with my going broke.
- Rachel: Greg, wouldn't it be nice if Bobby got in the backseat to eat his pizza?
- Greg: Yes, that would be nice.
- Bobby: Okay! (Greg closes the car door, accidentally hits the horn, shushes Bobby) I didn't do that! Want some pizza?
- Greg: No!
- Bobby: How about you, Rachel? It's real good, pepperoni and onions.
- Rachel: No, no thank you.
- Bobby: You guys don't know what you're missing!
- Greg: We know what we're missing! (Attempts to embrace Rachel again)
- Bobby: You're blocking my view again!
- Greg: Come on, Bobby, stop fooling around! You're not even watching the movie!
- Bobby: Neither are you!
- Rachel: I'll tell you what, why don't we all watch the movie.
- (They watch the movie)
- Bobby: It's warm in here, put the top down.
- Greg: Put the top--? Now look, Bobby.
- Rachel: You might as well do it, Greg.
- (Greg puts the top down, causing several cars behind them to honk their horns because it's blocking their view)
- (Bobby opens an umbrella, holds it over their heads)
- Greg: What do you think you're doing?
- Bobby: It might rain. You wouldn't want sweetiepie to get wet, would you?
- Greg: Now you're just being a wiseguy. Put that umbrella away!
- Bobby: I told you, it might rain!
- Greg: Well, if it might rain, then I'm putting the top back up! (Retracts the roof, causing cars to honk again)
- (Bobby doesn't close his umbrella, causing the tip to tear a hole in the roof. He ends up sticking the umbrella through the roof, and keeps trying to pull it out. It gets stuck, he looks at Greg)
- Greg: Now you've done it! Wait till Dad sees this!
The Power of the Press [3.19][edit]
Sergeant Emma [3.20][edit]
Cindy Brady, Lady [3.21][edit]
My Fair Opponent [3.22][edit]
The Fender Benders [3.23][edit]
- Mike: ...Smashed rear taillight, crushed fender, replace muffler, repaint left side...REALIGN THE FRAMES! HOW MUCH!
- Mr. Dougan: $295.11. Of course, there are some other minor things that I don't mind taking care of myself.
- Carol: What? Refurnishing your house?!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mike this just isn't true.
- Mr. Dougan: Mrs. Brady, are you suggesting that I am lying?
- Carol: And very badly too.
- Mr. Dougan: I'll see you in court!
- Carol: My pleasure!
Season 4[edit]
Hawaii Bound [4.1][edit]
- Peter: That's Diamond Head, dumb head.
Pass the Tabu [4.2][edit]
- Peter: Bad luck, come and get me.
The Tiki Caves [4.3][edit]
Today, I Am A Freshman [4.4][edit]
Cyrano de Brady [4.5][edit]
- [Jan introduces her new friend Kerry Hathaway to Peter, who is instantly lovestruck]
- Peter: Pleased to meet me.
- Greg: How would you like to get Kerry back? Now listen, I-
- Peter: I don't trust you, you stole my girl!
- Greg: I did not steal your girl.
- Peter: You did.
- Bobby: If you guys are starting that again, I'm getting out of here.
Fright Night [4.6][edit]
The Show Must Go On?? [4.7][edit]
Jan, The Only Child [4.8][edit]
- (Jan is mad at her siblings)
- Jan: If I were an only child, I wouldn't have any phony brothers and sisters! Who needs you?!
- Greg: You mean that, Jan?
- Jan: You're right, I sure do!
- Greg: Well, if that's what you want, I'm sure it can be arranged. Right, you guys? (Marcia, Peter, Bobby and Cindy agree)
- Peter: You just lost yourself five brothers and sisters!
- Marcia: And you can have the whole house to yourself.
- Jan: Great!
- Cindy: For us, too!
- Greg: As far as you're concerned, we don't even exist.
- Bobby: Yeah, we're not even here!
- Greg: Consider us invisible! Come on, gang, let's disappear. (Everybody but Jan leaves)
- (The boys return)
- Peter: What are we leaving for?
- Bobby: Yeah, this is our room!
- (Jan leaves, Greg slams the door after her)
- (Jan prepares to leave for the library, Marcia stops her)
- Marcia: Hey, just a minute, you!
- Jan: What? (Marcia yanks her sweater back) What do you think you're doing?
- Marcia: That's my sweater!
- Jan: So what? I always borrow your sweater!
- Marcia: Well, not any more. You no longer have a sister named Marcia, and if there's no Marcia, there's no Marcia's sweater.
- Carol: Okay, kids, okay.
- Marcia: Mom, we made a deal, remember?
- Carol: Yes, I remember.
- Marcia: And I'm sticking to it.
- Carol: Jan, do you want to stick to it?
- Jan: Yes!
- Marcia: Fine. I'll just take my invisible sweater and (snaps fingers) vanish. (leaves)
- Jan: That's not fair!
- Carol: I'm afraid it is, honey, you can't have it both ways. So long. (Jan leaves)
Career Fever [4.9][edit]
Goodbye, Alice, Hello [4.10][edit]
- [Greg and Peter show new housekeeper Kay how Alice used to shoot the basketball]
- Kay: That was Alice; I'm Kay.
Greg's Triangle [4.11][edit]
Everyone Can't Be George Washington [4.12][edit]
Love and the Older Man [4.13][edit]
Law and Disorder [4.14][edit]
- Bobby: Name, please. Last name first.
- [Bobby, as the new school hall monitor, had reported Cindy for an infraction and she's angry with him]
- Cindy: (Takes a slice of cheese from the fridge and throws it on Bobby's plate) Here!
- Bobby: What's the cheese for?
- Cindy: For you! All rats eat cheese! (leaves angrily)
- (Cindy is explaining her predicament to Carol)
- Cindy: And he wrote down the names, even mine!
- Carol: But that's his job, sweetheart.
- Cindy: Yes, but I'm his very own sister!
- Carol: Well, that doesn't give you any special privileges. The same rules apply to you that apply to anyone else.
- Cindy: (angrily) I don't see why they should.
- Carol: Let me see... I'll try to explain it to you this way. Let's say that Bobby was a policeman, and I drove through a red light. Accidentally, of course. Well, I would expect him to give me a ticket.
- Cindy: Your own son?
- Carol: Absolutely.
- Cindy: Boy, if I ever had a son who was a policeman and he gave me a ticket, I'd give him a spanking!
- [Bobby comes in, Cindy leaves angrily]
- Bobby: I guess she was complaining about me.
- Carol: You guessed right.
- Bobby: And I guess you took her side.
- Carol: You guessed wrong.
- Bobby: You didn't?
- Carol: No. Well, Cindy didn't like it, but you were just doing your duty.
- [Bobby leaves]
- Carol: I wonder if he really would give me a ticket.
- [Carol and Alice find Bobby in a sea of foam from the overflowing washing machine]
- Carol: What were you doing?
- Bobby: Washing my clothes.
- Alice: You're supposed to take your clothes off before you washed them!
- (Epilogue: The Bradys are getting the boat ready)
- Carol: Hey, where's Bobby?
- Mike: I thought he was here, he- (Bobby arrives in very tight slacks he ruined in the washing machine earlier)
- Greg: (laughing) Where did you get those?
- Jan: That's tighter than your skin!
- Bobby: Mom told me to wear something that wouldn't matter if it got dirty or wet.
- Alice: Aren't those his good pants?
- Carol: Those were his good pants. Listen, Bobby, next time before you wash something, will you check the label where it says "dry clean only"?
Greg Gets Grounded [4.15][edit]
Amateur Nite [4.16][edit]
- (Jan had signed the kids up for an amateur show to raise money for their parents' anniversary present)
- Greg: (laughs) Jan, you dingaling! We got about as much chance on getting on that show, and winning first prize, and getting the money as we do of robbing a bank!
- Bobby: (suggestively) Hey!
- Greg: Forget it.
- (Mike, Carol and Alice are watching The Pete Sterne Amateur Hour on TV and see the kids win third prize instead of the first prize of $100 they were hoping for)
- Alice: THIRD PRIZE? What a gyp! (She goes over to the TV and angrily turns it off). That's the last time I ever watch THAT crooked channel!
Bobby's Hero [4.17][edit]
The Subject was Noses [4.18][edit]
- Marcia: Something suddenly came up.
- Marcia: [to Bobby and Peter] Hey, you guys... [her nose gets hit by the football] OH! My nose!
How To Succeed in Business [4.19][edit]
The Great Earring Caper [4.20][edit]
You're Never Too Old [4.21][edit]
You Can't Win 'Em All [4.22][edit]
- Carol: [to Cindy] You shouldn't put down a loser, Cindy, because you might be one yourself someday. Just remember that.
Room At The Top [4.23][edit]
Season 5[edit]
Adios, Johnny Bravo [5.1][edit]
Mail Order Hero [5.2][edit]
- Greg: Its a good composition Pete. How come you got a C-?
- Peter: Read the last line.
- Greg:(Reading Aloud) If George Washington never told a lie how come he got so far in politics.
Snow White and the Seven Bradys [5.3][edit]
(Cindy tries to talk her siblings and Alice into appearing in a fundraiser play of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs")
- (In the girls' room)
- Jan: Me play one of the seven dwarfs?
- Cindy: You liked Mrs. Whitfield, didn't you?
- Jan: Sure, she was my favorite teacher. She was Marcia's favorite teacher too. I think she was even Mom's favorite teacher.
- Cindy: Boy, she's been teaching since the older days.
- Jan: You better not say that around Mom.
- Cindy: Well, will you help me with the play?
- Jan: Sure. If I can be Dopey.
- Cindy: Well, you can't be Dopey.
- Jan: Why not?
- Cindy: I'm saving that part for someone special.
- Jan: Who?
- Cindy: Me.
- (Cut to bathroom, knock on the door)
- Marcia: Come in.
- Cindy: Marcia, how about--
- Marcia: Sure, Cindy. Anything for good old Mrs. Whitfield.
- Cindy: Oh, thanks!
- Marcia: Except, I want to play Dopey instead of you.
- Cindy: How did you know I wanted to play Dopey?
- Marcia: Thin walls.
- (Cindy leaves)
- (Cut to Greg's room, Cindy knocks on the door)
- Greg: Come in.
- Cindy: Gee, Greg, this room in the attic sure is neat. I love the way you fixed it up, and Alice--
- Greg: Cindy, you don't have to butter me up. I'd be glad to help out Mrs. Whitfield.
- Cindy: Thanks!
- Greg: But I want to play Dopey instead of you.
- Cindy: How did you know I wanted to play Dopey?
- Greg: Thin floors.
- (Cut to boys' room, Cindy knocks on the door)
- Peter: Sure, Cindy, anything for Mrs. Whitfield. As long as I get to play Dopey.
- Bobby: That goes for me too, but I want to play Dopey.
- Peter: Well, you can't be Dopey.
- Bobby: Yes, I can. (door closes)
- Cindy: "Snow White and the Seven Dopeys"?
- (Cut to kitchen)
- Cindy: Alice, how would you like a nice, big, juicy part in my play?
- Alice: I'd love to! Can I play Dopey?
- Cindy: That part's already taken, six times.
- Alice: What have you got left?
- Cindy: How about the wicked queen?
- Alice: You got yourself a deal. If I can't be a wacky dwarf, I'll be a wicked queen. (imitates evil laughter)
- Cindy: That was good. Thanks, Alice!
- Alice: (imitating the wicked queen voice) Mirror, mirror, that I see, is there anyone prettier than me? (normal voice) How's that?
- Mike: Wicked, Alice. Wicked.
- Alice: (wicked queen voice) Mirror, mirror, in my.. (accidentally stirs soup with the mirror) soup?!
- Brady kids and Sam: (singing) Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's home from work we go! (whistle) Heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho, we're seven in a row (whistle, Sam stops), heigh ho.
- Greg/Doc: What'd you stop for, Dopey?
- Sam/Dopey: Eh, I forgot which way we live, Doc!
- Jan/Happy, Cindy/Grumpy: We live that way! (point in opposite directions)
- Marcia/Sleepy: (yawn) Can't we get going? It's time for my nap! I'm sleepy!
- Peter/Sneezy: Well, I'm catching a cold! (sneezes)
- Bobby/Bashful: I know which way we live!
- Greg/Doc: Which way, Bashful?
- Bobby/Bashful: I'm too bashful to tell you! (laughs)
- Sam/Dopey: Hey, I remember which way! We follow the yellow brick road!
- Cindy/Grumpy: That's in "The Wizard Of Oz!"
- Sam/Dopey: So, don't follow the yellow brick road!
- Brady kids and Sam: (singing) Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's home from work we go! (march behind the stage)
Never Too Young [5.4][edit]
Peter and the Wolf [5.5][edit]
- Peter/"Phil Packer": What's that wild scent you're wearing?
- Linda: Buttered popcorn!
Getting Greg's Goat [5.6][edit]
Marcia Gets Creamed [5.7][edit]
- (Marcia had just fired Peter from his job at ice cream parlor; Peter and Bobby are in the bathroom)
- Peter: For no reason at all, right out of left field she fired me.
- Bobby: What a rotten thing to do to your own brother.
- Peter: That's what you get when you give small people power. They can't handle it.
- (Marcia knocks on the door)
- Marcia: Are you gonna be in there all night?
- Bobby: Dictator! (leaves)
- (Marcia enters the bathroom)
- Marcia: You brainwashed Bobby!
- Peter: No I didn't, I told him the truth. You fired me 'cause you're power-hungry.
- Marcia: I fired you because you're lazy and you deserved it!
- Peter: You know what you are? A company stooge!
- Marcia: What's the use?
- Peter: Okay, run away from the truth, you Captain Bligh Dictator!
- Marcia: And you're a capital "G" goof-off!
My Brother's Keeper [5.8][edit]
- Alice: The all-American dish for the all-American hero, (everybody cheers) hot Hungarian goulash!
- Cindy: Since when is Hungarian goulash American?
- Alice: Since Zsa Zsa Gabor became a citizen.
- (Bobby doesn't want to be with Peter, whom he's at odds with)
- Bobby: Wanna play a game or something, Alice?
- Alice: Oh, gee, I'm sorry, Bobby, not tonight. I gotta go to bed early, I didn't sleep very well last night.
- Bobby: Why not?
- Alice: Well, I stayed up half the night, watching one of those TV horror movies, "The Demon of Devoured Detroit", gave both of us heartburn. (leaves, Greg comes in)
- Bobby: Wanna watch some TV with me, Greg?
- Greg: Sorry, I got a date. I'll see you later.
- (Bobby walks into the living room, seeing his sisters leaving)
- Bobby: Hey, where are you going?
- Marcia: We're gonna spend the night at my friend Helen's house.
- Bobby: How come?
- Jan: That wallpaper post made our room smell to icky.
- Cindy: Have fun. (the girls leave)
- Bobby: Yeah. Whoopee.
- (Mike and Carol are leaving)
- Mike: Good night, son.
- Carol: Don't stay up past your bedtime.
- Bobby: I might as well go to sleep right now, there's nobody around here to do anything with.
- Carol: Oh, now, Bobby, Peter's home.
- Bobby: That's the same thing as being alone.
Quarterback Sneak [5.9][edit]
Try, Try Again [5.10][edit]
The Cincinnati Kids [5.11][edit]
The Elopement [5.12][edit]
- (Bobby is practicing playing "Yankee Doodle" on a portable organ, Peter and Cindy look on)
- Bobby: How am I doing now?
- Cindy: It still sounds awful, but you're playing a lot faster.
- Peter: So it's awful for less time.
- Bobby: Hardy-har-har.
Miss Popularity [5.13][edit]
Kelly's Kids [5.14][edit]
- Mrs. Payne: My husband and I have even managed to be cordial to the Shapiros down the street.
- Ken: Well, congratulations, you've just received the "Neighbor of the Year" award.
- Mrs. Payne: I consider that remark uncalled for!
- Ken: If nobody calls for it in 30 days, it's all yours, baby!
- Kathy Kelly (Talking about Mrs. Payne): She makes Archie Bunker sound like a liberal!
The Driver's Seat [5.15][edit]
(Bobby and Cindy are playing checkers on Cindy's bed, Jan walks in)
- Bobby: I win.
- Jan: Maybe Bobby cheated.
- Cindy: Did you cheat?
- Bobby: No, Jan just got a big mouth and bad eyes.
- Jan: He didn't really cheat, Cindy.
- Cindy: Then why did you say that?
- Jan: It's a debating tactic. I force Bobby into defending himself by accusing him of something.
- Bobby: I get enough accusing around here from mom and dad.
- Jan: Hey, you two accuse me of something and I'll defend myself.
- Bobby: Okay. I accuse you.. of being weird. (leaves the room)
- Jan: I'm on the debating team at school and I really need practice. Choose a subject and pick a side.
- Cindy: Okay. I pick Bobby's side, you are weird. (leaves)
- Jan: Won't anybody around here debate me? (picks up Cindy's Kitty Karry-All doll) You, pick a side.
(Greg lost the bet with Marcia and has to do her chores for a month)
- (Epilogue: Peter is reading a magazine on the backyard patio. Bobby and Cindy arrive on bikes)
- Bobby: Peter, will you be our judge?
- Peter: For what?
- Cindy: Bobby and I made a bet on who's the best bike rider.
- Peter: What did you bet?
- Bobby: Same thing as Greg and Marcia. The person who comes closer to the stopline without going over wins.
- Cindy: And the loser has to do the winner's chores for a whole year.
- Peter: Well, first you better look at something, Bobby. (points to Greg doing ironing)
- Bobby: Ain't too easy to beat a dumb ol' girl anyway. (leaves)
- Cindy: Chicken.
Out Of This World [5.16][edit]
(Peter and Bobby are camping out in the backyard, waiting for their "UFO" to appear)
- (Jan and Cindy come outside)
- Cindy: Hey, did the UFO land yet?
- Bobby: No, do you see one?
- Jan: Oh, well we thought that maybe you hid it in your sleeping bags.
- Peter: Look, if you just came out here to make jokes, you can leave.
- Bobby: Yeah!
- Cindy: Oh, we believe in flying objects, Peter.
- Jan: It's just that flying objects don't believe in us.
- Peter: (hops up) Listen, if you guys aren't out of here in three seconds, you're both gonna be flying objects!
- Jan: Ooh, quiver!
- Cindy: Quake, quake!
- Peter: Blast off!
(Greg and Marcia were playing a trick on Peter and Bobby with the "UFO")
- Alice: Anybody for more flapjacks? Right off the grill and still flappin'?
- Cindy: Oh yeah, Alice!
- Jan: Me too.
- Greg: No, I gotta get going.
- Marcia: Same here.
- Alice: Aren't you gonna stick around and see how Peter and Bobby's UFO pictures turned out?
- Greg: No, in their case I think "UFO" means "Undoubtedly Flipped Out".
- Marcia: Hey Alice, if any space creatures do show up, give them some flapjacks and tell them to stick around for a while.
Welcome Aboard [5.17][edit]
(Carol broke the news to the kids that their cousin Oliver will come to live with them)
- Bobby: Hey Cindy, now you and me won't be the youngest, we'll have somebody to push around.
(The boys' room, Oliver is snoring loudly)
- Bobby: (annoyed) Hey, Pete! Pete, you sleeping?
- Peter: Are you kidding? Who can sleep with that buzz-saw going?
- Bobby: Yeah, for a little guy, he sure snores big.
- Peter: Sounds like the MGM Lion.
- Bobby: How are we going to get any sleep?
- Peter: I've read once where you can stop people from snoring by rolling them over. Let's try it.
- Bobby: All right.
- (Peter and Bobby try to roll Oliver over)
- Bobby: He's heavier than he looks.
- (Peter and Bobby fall on the floor, breaking the lamp on nightdesk)
- Oliver: Would you guys be a little bit more quiet? A guy can't get any sleep around here!
(Mike in lecturing Peter, Jan, Bobby and Cindy about Oliver)
- Mike: I'm surprised at you. You had poor Oliver shaken up.
- Jan: But we had no idea he was listening, Dad.
- Cindy: Or else we would have closed the window.
- Mike: Honey, that's not the point.
(Mike confronted the four younger kids about their "jinx" business against Oliver)
- Cindy: Boy, I guess that means Oliver has to come with us on the tour of the movie studio Saturday.
- Jan: Yeah.
- Peter: I sure hope we don't have any more of those so-called coincidences.
- Bobby: Yeah, just when we ask for an autograph, we get hit by a truck.
Two Petes In a Pod [5.18][edit]
Top Secret [5.19][edit]
The Snooperstar [5.20][edit]
- (Marcia and Jan try to find out if Cindy is snooping in Marcia's diary)
- (They enter Peter and Bobby's room)
- Marcia: Passing through.
- Jan: Gotta use the bathroom.
- Peter: You got a door on your side!
- Marcia: It's stuck! (The girls get into the bathroom)
- Bobby: Now I know why hermits want to be hermits.
- (The girls return from the bathroom, the same way)
- Marcia: Passing through.
- Bobby: What is this, a freeway?
- Jan: Oh, we just couldn't stand being away from you two beautiful people.
- (The girls leave, Peter blocks the door with a chair)
- (Cindy and Oliver arrive home with a record album, Peter and Bobby are playing football in the yard)
- Peter: Hey, what's in the bag?
- Cindy: A record album.
- Bobby: What kind?
- Cindy: The round kind.
- Oliver: With a hole in the middle.
- Bobby: (laughs sarcastically) Very funny. Let's see it. (tries to grab the album from Cindy, but Cindy snatches it back)
- Peter: What's the big secret?
- Cindy: You know what the secret is.
- Oliver: Yeah, and you guys better treat Cindy nice! She's gonna be rich and famous and I'm gonna help her!
- Peter: What are you two gonna do, rip off a bank?
- Bobby: Yeah, Bonnie and Clyde! (The older boys laugh)
- Cindy: (sarcastically) Very funny.
- Oliver: Yeah! (leaves inside with Cindy)
The Hustler [5.21][edit]
The Hair-Brained Scheme [5.22][edit]
- (Greg looks in the mirror and is shocked to see that his hair has turned orange on account of Bobby's hair tonic)
- Greg: Tomorrow's graduation and I've got...ORANGE HAIR!
- Oliver: You know something, Cindy?
- Cindy: What?
- Oliver: I think your mother has a problem discussing sex.
- Florence Henderson - Carol Brady
- Robert Reed - Mike Brady
- Ann B. Davis - Alice Nelson
- Barry Williams - Greg Brady
- Maureen McCormick - Marcia Brady
- Christopher Knight - Peter Brady
- Eve Plumb - Jan Brady
- Mike Lookinland - Bobby Brady
- Susan Olsen - Cindy Brady
The Brady Family[edit]
- Mike
- Carol (2nd wife)
- Greg (son)
- Nora (daughter-in-law)
- Kevin (grandson)
- Marcia (stepdaughter)
- Wally Logan (stepson-in-law)
- Jessica (step-granddaughter)
- Mickey (step-grandson)
- Peter (son)
- Valerie (daughter-in-law)
- Jan (stepdaughter)
- Phillip Covington (stepson-in-law)
- Patty (adoptive step-granddaughter)
- Bobby (son)
- Tracy (daughter-in-law)
- Cindy (daughter)
The Kelly Family[edit]
- Ken
- Kathy (wife)
- Matt (adoptive son)
- Dwayne (adoptive son)
- Steve (adoptive son)
External links[edit]
- The Brady Bunch quotes at the Internet Movie Database
- The Brady Bunch at TV.com


text:
Maternal Serum Alpha-Fetoprotein (MSAFP)
Alpha-fetoprotein (AFP) is a protein that is normally produced by the fetus' liver. AFP is present in the fluid around the fetus (amniotic fluid) and a small amount crosses the placenta and moves into the mother's blood stream. As the baby grows and produces more AFP, the amount in the mother's blood increases.
Between weeks 15 and 20 of a pregnancy, a maternal serum alpha-fetoprotein (MSAFP) screen may be offered. It's usually as part of a set of tests, which screen for genetic problems, called the quad screen. The AFP blood test determines how much AFP is in the mother's blood. The other tests measure the levels of other pregnancy hormones, including estriol, human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), and inhibin A.
The quantity of AFP that is considered normal depends upon many variables, including age, weight, race, and week of pregnancy, therefore accurate dating is important. Insulin-dependent diabetes also influences AFP levels. Of those women whose tests show high or low levels of AFP, only two or three in 100 will have a child with a birth defect.
This test is offered to all pregnant women. You may choose to have this test if you want to know if your baby is at high risk for neural tube defects. You may want to take an MSAFP test before considering ultrasound, or amniocentesis.
What Will Happen?
An MSAFP screen involves a simple blood draw from the mother's vein. Results are usually available in one to two weeks. Up to 10% of results are positive, meaning you have high- or low-AFP levels. With a positive AFP, additional tests will be suggested to help determine the cause.
Follow-Up Tests May Include:
- A repeat MSAFP screening if the age of the fetus has been re-evaluated by an ultrasound.
- Ultrasound to more precisely pinpoint the age of the fetus or detect multiple fetuses.
- A high-resolution ultrasound to get a sharper view of the fetal skull, spine, and other organs to detect or rule out neural tube defects.
- Genetic counseling.
- Amniocentesis, which checks the AFP level in the amniotic fluid and also analyzes fetal cells (specifically fetal chromosomes) to detect or rule out certain birth defects (such as Down syndrome).
Positive AFP levels are most often the result of a miscalculation in the age of the fetus (wrong dates) or due to multiple fetuses in the womb (twin or triplet pregnancy), with each producing AFP. In some instances, the reason for a positive AFP level remains unknown. Only a small number of positive results are related to a birth defect. Unusually high AFP levels are associated with an increased risk of a neural tube defect such as spina bifida or anencephaly, whereas unusually low levels (along with low levels of estriol and high levels of hCG) are related to an increased risk of a chromosomal abnormality such as Down syndrome. If further tests don't show a chromosomal problem or an anatomic defect, an elevated AFP may predict problems with fetal growth later in pregnancy. This usually warrants follow-up ultrasounds and other fetal testing which your doctor will order.
It's important to remember that an MSAFP is a screening test only; it does not detect or diagnose birth defects. The majority of women who take this test receive normal, or negative, results.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What are some of the benefits and risks of having this test?
A: A potential benefit is that the screening results may lead to the early detection of a developmental abnormality in the fetus. Early identification of any problem allows you and your health-care team crucial time to explore treatment options, ensuring the utmost safety of your pregnancy and delivery. With normal test results, you may benefit from the assurance that your baby does not appear to be at high risk for certain abnormalities. On the other hand, if the test reveals a positive AFP result, you risk experiencing anxiety as well as more invasive testing to determine the cause, even though most of the time the positive results do not indicate a birth defect.
Review Date:
Reviewed By: Irina Burd, MD, PhD, Maternal Fetal Medicine, Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, MD. Review provided by VeriMed Healthcare Network.


text:
Narendra Modi on a roll, may enter BJP A-team
Narendra Modi's potential elevation to the BJP's prime ministerial candidate for 2014 gathered momentum on Saturday, with speculation building that he may soon be inducted into the party's top national decision-making body. Vikas Pathak reports.delhi Updated: Mar 03, 2013 01:36 IST
Narendra Modi's potential elevation to the BJP's prime ministerial candidate for 2014 gathered momentum on Saturday, with speculation building that he may soon be inducted into the party's top national decision-making body.
The talk came after the Gujarat CM drew an unprecedented reception on day two of the BJP's three-day national conclave.
The party stopped short of formally declaring him their candidate for the country's top job, but the message was loud and clear.
Party president Rajnath Singh garlanded Modi after singling him out as the "most popular" of the BJP's five chief ministers, and asked for a standing ovation saying: "Words and claps are not enough to welcome him."
Delegates stood up, clapped and whistled, and the other CMs - some of them potential rivals for the PM candidature - shook hands with the charismatic but controversial figure.
Not originally in the Modi fan club, Singh has been increasingly promoting the leader in recent weeks, possibly to align himself with the wishes of the rank and file.
He termed Modi's election win in Gujarat "historic", noting that "even on the global stage, he has been praised".
Modi is due to speak on Sunday and could use the event to send a message of intent.
The first step in his elevation could be membership of the BJP's parliamentary board, which includes heavyweights like LK Advani, Sushma Swaraj and Arun Jaitley.
The buzz at the event was that this could happen when Rajnath reconstitutes the body later this month.
But going from being the BJP's posterboy to the candidate of the BJP-led National Democratic Alliance (NDA) could be a rocky ride.
A key BJP ally, the Janata Dal (United), led by Modi baiter and Bihar chief minister Nitish Kumar, reiterated its stand that the NDA as a whole would take a call on who would be the alliance's PM candidate.
"If he's won a third term, it's natural that he's being hailed by the national council. But we've made our position on the matter clear," Shivanand Tiwari, JD(U) Rajya Sabha MP, told HT.
The JD(U) is opposed to Modi due to his alleged role in the 2002 riots in Gujarat in which many Muslims were killed.
Earlier, those approaching the venue of the conclave were greeted by placards reading "Modi laao desh bachaao (bring Modi, save the nation)".
As Delhi BJP chief Vijay Goel stood up to welcome the delegates and kickstart the proceedings, he said, "It seems as if Manmohan Singh isn't the prime minister; it seems as if Narendra Modi is the PM. No decision has been taken yet, but people wish that Modi becomes prime minister."
While former finance minister Yashwant Sinha has openly backed Modi for PM, senior leader Jaitley has also said there is "growing interest" in Modi as PM candidate.
On Saturday, BJP women's wing chief and regular on TV talk shows, Smriti Irani, endorsed his possible candidature.
Rajnath Singh in his speech dealt at length with somewhat hardline themes that signaled a reaching out to the party's Hindutva roots.
He focused on the UPA's "failures" on internal and external security and demanded the deportation of illegal Bangladeshi immigrants.
He also defended Hindutva, recalling that the Supreme Court had upheld it as a way of life and adding that it was Hindus who had embraced the belief 'Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam' (the world is a family).
He also made a pitch for throwing out the ruling UPA, accusing it of "economic mismanagement".


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Hasseler Op-Ed: Education a Powerful Weapon for Peace
"Continued strong support for K-12 and higher education is needed to ensure that we are providing all of our young people with the most powerful weapon available to bring about lasting peace," writes Dr. Susan Hasseler, senior vice president for academic affairs and Dean of the College.
U.S. News Gives Top Marks to Augustana
Augustana is ranked No. 3 among the "Best Regional Colleges in the Midwest" according to the latest edition of "Best Colleges 2014" by U.S. News Media Group. Among the regional colleges listed in the publication's "Best Value Schools" study, Augustana is ranked No. 2 in the Midwest.
Report: 'Sioux Falls is the Center of the Economic Universe'
While researching for their project "American Futures," a collaborative series led by Kai Ryssdal with American Public Media's "Marketplace" and James Fallows, a writer for The Atlantic, the reporting team met with current and former Augustana students and faculty members on campus.
Augustana Freshmen Make an Impact
In their first week on campus, members of the Class of 2017 worked together to pack 41,000 meals for Kids Against Hunger and joined forces to break into the Guinness Book of World Records by sending 237 students consecutively down the "body slide" within one hour at Wild Water West.
College Welcomes New Faculty Members
With the 2013-14 academic year officially underway, Augustana has welcomed new, full-time faculty members in the departments of Mathematics, English, Modern Foreign Languages and Chemistry.
Travel Author Rick Steves to 'Discuss Travel as a Political Act'
Author, public television and radio host and producer Rick Steves will discuss "Travel as a Political Act," at 7:30 p.m. on Tuesday, Sept. 24, at Our Savior's Lutheran Church. Tickets for this event, presented by the Augustana Library Associates, are $10 for the public. The event is free for Augustana students however, tickets are required. Tickets are available at www.augietickets.com.
Dr. Svenningsen to Class of 2017: You Are Known
"... be, as Paul wrote in the Scripture, a 'workman.' The world can be a confusing place and there is much to be done — but you, you are now an Augustana Viking and folks, we Vikings ... we who 'Go Viking' ... do not shy away from a challenge — so be a 'workman.'" Read Dr. Russell Svenningsen's remarks to the Class of 2017 from Opening Convocation.
Gov. Jon Huntsman to Speak at Boe Forum on Public Affairs
Former governor of Utah, 2012 presidential candidate, and former U.S. ambassador to China and Singapore Gov. Jon Huntsman will discuss the "Geopolitics of China and the U.S." at 7 p.m. on Monday, Nov. 4, in the Elmen Center. Free tickets are available at www.augietickets.com.
Class of 2017 Arrives on Campus
Carrying rolls of carpet, futons and stacks of plastic tubs, members of Augustana's freshman class arrived on campus on Sunday to settle into their new rooms inside Bergsaker and Solberg Residence Halls. The academic year opens with Convocation on Sept. 4; classes begin Sept. 5.
Campus Commemorates Anniversary of King's 'I Have a Dream' Speech
At 2 p.m. on Wednesday, Aug. 28, Augustana joined in a nationwide bell-ringing event to mark the exact time Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech during the 1963 March on Washington.


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The Internet is an interesting place. It started out as a network intended for file-sharing and has turned into a storehouse of information. It is a dynamic and profit making industry, and generates enormous revenue. While providing an open platform for free expression, it gives everyone a chance to reach out to thousands of people, at an extremely low cost. This makes the Internet the most powerful media of this age.
The Internet is governed by a set of standards, that bind it and prevent it from falling apart. Furthermore, there are services that have an expertise in certain domains (Google in search, Facebook in social networking). These direct and indirect controls limit the capabilities of the Internet and can be a cause of discontent at times. There are a lot of variables in an ideal Internet, but when we rely on these services solely, most of those variables are locked. Once a user gets on the Internet and puts his personal data, everyone wants a piece of the pie. Both Facebook and Google use out browsing behavior and personal data to serve personalized ads, and it is extremely hard to make oneself tracking-free. Governments ask for private user data all the time and demand user-generated content to be censored.
This, has brought the need for services that are not under the control of a central authority. Currently, there are three such ongoing projects, and if they succeed, they have a chance of changing the Internet and the world.


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From time to time small wine shops stumble into values that escape the mainstream. Here at Christopher's Wine & Cheese we have been very fortunate to have several of these discoveries come to us through the careful presentation of representatives guiding us through the maze of wines from around the world.
We have been afforded one such offer again… we have obtained two (count them 2) verticals from Hank McCrorie of his 2004, 2005, 2006, and 2007 Burly Cabernet Sauvignon Vintages. The only requirement being that these verticals must be sold as a single unit.
Christopher has always maintained that Burly is the NAPA Cabernet to have above most any other. For those who think they like the Silver Oak NAPA Cabernet Sauvignon, it's only because they have never tried Hank McCrorie's Burly…and here is the premier way to try it… four vintages together in one nice, convenient, tidy package!
This is truly a rare opportunity for those fans of NAPA Cabernets as the 2004 and 2005 vintages of Burly are totally sold out except for these few verticals that Hank has entrusted to us until the find a new, happy home. Because of the rarity of this opportunity, they are only available through our shop being announced to you through our blog, facebook and twitter posts to order. If you are interested in ordering, call Christopher directly at 828-414-9111 between 12:00 – 6:00pm, Eastern Time.
In case you are on the fence, I'm also going to entice you with some notes of each of the wines below as well….
2004: Gracefully rich, smooth and concentrated with aromas of lush blueberry and cassis, the fruit core is wrapped in complex vanilla, coffee, caramel, tobacco and spice box nuances. The pure, dense fruit is accented with pretty violet, anise and toasty oak notes while the supple, sweet tannins endow the wine with voluptuous texture, all finishing in a long alluring aftertaste. Beautiful now, will age well through the decade.
Best from 2008-2014.
2005: Intense, concentrated and rich with aromas of lush raspberry and cassis, the opulent fruit is accented in complex mocha, mint, white pepper, anise and loamy earth nuances. In the mouth the pure, dense fruit is shaded with jasmine flower and toasty oak notes while ripe, fine grained tannins endow the wine with voluptuous texture, all finishing in a long alluring aftertaste. Beautiful now, will age well through the decade.
Best enjoyed from 2009 – 2015.
2006: Shows complex aromas of ripe plum, currant and black cherry, with fresh-cut herb, mineral and cedary oak. Full-bodied and firm on the finish, with a peppery, claylike edge to the tannins.
Best from 2009 through 2016.
2007: A huge wine developing complexities of rich black fruits lain upon a velvet blanket of cocoa. The mild oak massage upon one's tongue explodes into spice and charisma waking the palate for a seductive finish that does not disappoint!
Best from 2010 through 2018.


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Palouse Field II
This fine art photograph was hand selected by the PurePhoto curation team for placement in private collections and interiors by the world's leading art & design professionals.
View the full collection by Paul Edmondson: www.purephoto.com/PaulEdmondson
Paul is known primarily as a landscape photographer of the American West. He is drawn toward the places where humans and the natural environment intersect. An avid outdoorsman, Paul lives with his family in Seattle, but is equally at home in the wilderness.
Recent Awards:
2016 PDN Photo Annual
2014 PDN Photo Annual
2013 PDN Photo Annual
2012 American Photography
2011 Communication Arts Photo Annual
2010 Communication Arts Photo Annual
2010 PDN Photo Annual


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The NBA 06-07 season, which is about to start in just over a month so I thought I would be the first to make this thread.
Full Schedule can be found here
Well for those who don't know I'm a Detroit Pistons fan and I'm really starting to hate Ben Wallace for turning his back on the Pistons after so many years just for $2 Million more. I hope he plays like crap at the Bulls now and wished he never left the Pistons.
Anyone want to take a pick on who will win the Photo of the Year award 2006? I think its going to be D wades no look vs Nates jump over spud in the final and nates going to win it.