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Ohio State soil scientist awarded World Food Prize
erosion, and enrich soil by managing a critical element in the soil: organic carbon. His research has ... Story by Alayna DeMartini A soil scientist at The Ohio State University whose research spans five ... work on management and conservation of agriculture's most cherished natural resource, the soil, set him ...
Ohio State soil scientist awarded World Food Prize
Alayna DeMartini COLUMBUS, Ohio—A soil scientist at The Ohio State University whose research spans ... work on management and conservation of agriculture's most cherished natural resource, the soil, set him ... control soil erosion, and enrich soil by managing a critical element in the soil: organic carbon. His ...
Rattan Lal is World Food Prize Laureate
Soil Health Trailblazer Honored as 2020 World Food Prize Laureate Distinguished pedologist Dr. ... Rattan Lal becomes this year's recipient of the $250,000 award for promoting soils for sustainable ...
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Students Call 614-688-4659 or visit the Future Students webpage to explore our majors, learn about steps ... numerous undergraduate resources and contacts across our Academic Programs website, and specifically ... is, please call Extension Administration at 614-292-6181. Departments, Faculty, and Staff Review our ...
Where are they now? Alumni Awards edition
they have accomplished since earning their award and what it meant to them. Hear from a few of our ... space. After retirement, I worked half-time and managed the facility and taught for three years. Since ... A: Educating young people as a college professor for 30 years. Youth are our future! Q: Do you have other ...
Whittington selected as president-elect of NACTA professional society
State to have our very own Dr. Susie Whittington serve as president in this premier international ... sciences to integrate research-based learning, practice, and engagement, in ways that will advance positive ... programs and research available in ACEL, or to donate to student scholarships, please visit acel.osu.edu. ...
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meets quarterly in addition to holding events throughout the year. Get to know a few of our board ... Manager, New Vision Farms Q: Tell us a bit about what you like to do when you are not at work. A: I enjoy ... spending time with my wife, Aspen, and our dogs, Cali and Vida. I also like to go fishing and enjoy ...
New veggie garden? 6 tips for keeping it healthy through summer
beginners. He runs the Growing Franklin food-producing blog. Test your soil A soil test will tell if the pH ... and nutrients are right for growing good, healthy crops. Learn more in the CFAES fact sheet at ... go.osu.edu/allaboutsoiltesting and at go.osu.edu/franklinsoiltest. Use mulch Spreading mulch on top of your soil will help ...
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As motocross spread across the globe and became a dominant motorcycle racing discipline, Gary Jones was at the leading edge of the coming American storm.
The four-time American 250 national motocross champion (1971 to 1974) was first exposed to motorcycles started shortly after birth. "My dad, the only thing he had was motorcycles, and when I came home from the hospital, I was on it with my mom," said Jones.
His father Don Jones, a BSA/Matchless dealer, was also one of the first Yamaha dealers in Southern California in the 1960s. Young Gary was riding a BSA in local TT, scrambles, flat track, and motocross, winning his first expert class race at the age of 15.
Jones recalls the debut of the Yamaha DT-1: "There was this new lightweight bike coming out, and it was cool. We were making a lot of modifications to it, racing it every week." The Jones family was well placed to help lead, direct, and develop the advancing wave of Japanese motocross innovation.
The motorcycle that Jones and his father developed was to become the basis for the strap tank YZ Yamaha.
"Our bike was the basis for the '74 YZ, we made the very first one," Jones said of the design. "We started with at DT-1, cut the frame, and lengthened some of the bars here and there. We moved the pegs back, lowered the engine down, flattened out and lengthened the swingarm. All of our spacers and bolts were titanium with holes drilled in them, sometimes using pins instead of nuts, and we trimmed down the fork castings to take weight out of it. We gave the bike back, as Yamaha was paying for us to do the work. We used to call that bike 'A to Z' because we had done everything from A to Z on it. When the bikes came back from Japan, A-Z became the YZ."
In 1971, Jones won the U.S. 250 Motocross Championship, based upon being the highest placed American in Edison Dye's Inter-Am series. Also the winner in the Baja 500 desert race that year, Jones was becoming a dominant force in American off-road racing.
For 1972, the AMA instituted national motocross championships, no longer based upon the highest finishing American in a European-dominated series. Jones not only won the 250 Championship again for Yamaha, he also finished second to Brad Lackey in the 500cc Championship.
Jones commented on the change to Honda for 1973: "We were happy with Yamaha, but Honda kept coming to us saying, 'We want you to ride our bikes.' They rubbed more money in our face than we could stand, so we decided we were going to try to ride this new Honda.
The classic Honda riding sweatshirt of the era with the horizontal bands of red, blue and white was based on a design originated by Jones' mother. "They didn't have clothing, so my mom cut out the names and letters, and cut up red, blue, and white football jerseys to make our Honda jerseys," Jones said. "She made the first American Honda race gear."
Although Jones found success on the Honda, the bike was constantly breaking the one-off factory racing parts, and it was a challenging venture. A special, large-displacement version of the Elsinore had been made by Honda for the 1973 USGP, their first attempt at the 500cc GP category. In the second moto, Gary Jones led his first GP for a lap and a half on the 450 Honda, until the frame broke. Despite reliability issues, Jones went on to win the 250cc National Championship on the Elsinore.
For 1974, Jones was racing on the powerful rotary valve Rotax engine Can-Am motorcycles. Together with talented teammates Marty Tripes and Jimmy Ellis, this dream team was foundation for the Canadian company's first motocross challenge.
Jones secured his fourth consecutive 250 National Championship that year. A strong contender for what could have been a fifth consecutive title in 1975, Jones broke his leg at the Daytona Supercross, and Can-Am bought out his contract.
1976 was to bring the Ammex venture, with the Jones family's Mexican manufactured brand of American-Mexican motorcycle. Amidst the catastrophic devaluation of the peso by a factor of 10, the value of the company was wiped out almost overnight.
Jones was to turn his efforts toward other off-road competition, and became the SCORE off road World Champion in 1982.
Sadly, Jone's father passed away in 2008 at age 84, a giant in his own right in the history of American motocross. Although Jones continues to race in both vintage and other off-road series, he is passing the torch to a new generation of Jones racers.
Gary Jones was inducted into the AMA Motorcycle Hall of Fame Museum in 2000.

subset: commoncrawl


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Miami plastic surgery reviews
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Why do miami plastic surgery reviews? This question does not know the answer only one who has never stood in the mirror.
We live in the outside world, and we care how the world perceives us. And first of all, how he perceives us with his eyes – after all, a look is the first source of information about us, our appearance is the first marker of future relations. miami plastic surgery reviews.
The motives that encourage a plastic surgeon to come for consultation can be very different, but they all are worth understanding, because they relate, paradoxically, to the persons inner world. So, miami plastic surgery reviews!
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The results of psychological studies show that the majority of people who decide on an operation, like miami plastic surgery reviews, hopes for a significantly improved psychological state, quality of life, self-confidence and harmonious relations between partners. One of the most important reasons for the operation was dissatisfaction with its appearance.
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Behind each operation of a plastic surgeon is a life story, for example, miami plastic surgery reviews… It can be great or inconspicuous, sad or happy, stormy or quiet. But this is the only life that was given to this – the only – man. And the opportunity to make her what she dreamed, always in our power. Thats why we go to a plastic surgeon, miami plastic surgery reviews!


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This recipe for chocolate avocado brownies is sponsored as part of my Ambassadorship with Avocados from Mexico. Opinions are my own. I love brownies. They love me too. It's a long, rocky road for us (and another brownie flavor I can't seem to say no to) and it usually ends with the brownie being devoured and me…well, being me at the end of the day. But as we all know, traditional brownies don't always have the healthy ingredients. Thankfully, there are ways to make them just as delicious with better for you ingredient options and my new favorite ingredient to add to my baked goods is none other than the avocado.
Yes, the avocado.
Avocados can be used to substitute butter or oil in baking. They often make the baked goods softer and chewier. (I should be careful using them, because what if people start to think I'm really good at baking? Will they expect that I"ll be baking for them regularly? That's a lot of pressure. Better I keep this to myself. So we'll just keep this between us, ok?)
When using an avocado in place of butter, use a 1:1 ratio. For those of you who aren't sure: that means if your recipe calls for 5 Tablespoons of butter, you'll use 5 Tablespoons of avocado. If you are using it in place of oil you may need a little bit more liquid because that avocado won't be quite as thin as a liquid, but not much.
Avocados in baked goods add vitamins, polynutrients and minerals to your goodies. That means they make your baked goods better for you. (Just a note: This does not mean you can eat an entire pan in a sitting. That's not ever a good idea, not ever).
So now I'm going to share an EASY recipe for Chocolate Avocado Brownies (and if you don't want to make them from scratch, which I may not ever fully understand but won't judge, go ahead and use the box mix with the avocado. It'll bring them to an entirely new level).
- 1/2 cup avocado, mashed
- 1cup sugar
- 2 eggs
- 1/2c all purpose flour
- 1/3 c unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
- Oven to 350
- Beat together avocado and sugar in mixing bowl.
- Add in remaining ingredients and mix well.
- Spread into greased and floured 8×8 baking dish
- Bake for 20-25 minutes
- Do NOT cut until all the way cool!
- Brownies will be much chewier if you wait until they cool.


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by Victor Fernando R. Ocampo on Jul 1, 2014 in Short Fiction | 68 comments
5400 Words
That afternoon they flushed San Carlos Seldran out the airlock. Everyone on Cabra Deck was required to watch, even the little ones.
Despite what old people tell you, in the vacuum of space your blood won't boil. Your body won't explode either. In less than a minute you'd simply die from a lack of oxygen. There wouldn't be time to scream.
His was a humane execution — quick, clean and painless.
"The Lord preserves all who love him but all the wicked he destroys," growled the ancient Holosonic, droning the day's lesson with great pomp and solemnity.
My family and I watched as our former parish priest drifted away towards infinity. The void swallowed him up with a deep hunger, deep as the ever-present darkness. I wanted to close my eyes but I just couldn't look away. None of us could. Instead we just watched him die and committed his soul quietly to Our Lady of Gliese.
The people of Cupang couldn't let him go without a send-off. We removed our bracelets and dropped them to the floor discreetly, at random places, beneath the notice of the ever present Domini Canes. We'd made them from old cable ties and plastic bags, recycled colour against the blackest of blackness. Each one a secret funeral wreath for a good man we'd all loved and respected.
After the ceremony, Mother hugged my youngest brother tightly. It was Bino's first excommunication, and he was understandably quite upset. He buried his head deeply into her bosom, sobbing quietly. We all turned away, to let my mother console him privately.
The sooner that Bino got inured to executions, the better it would be for him and the easier it would be for the rest of us. Life was hard enough as it was without the tears of a child.
"You have a beautiful mind, boneca," a voice inside my head intruded, "but so twisted and so sad. Como você está?"
I heard it sometimes whenever I was troubled or depressed, flexing itself like a rarely used muscle. It was the voice of a young man, strong and reassuring, the kind I could perhaps fall in love with. I never told anyone about it, of course. People would say I was careless with our mushroom crop, or worse, that I'd gone mental. That would be a threat to the gene pool, earning me a one way ticket out the airlock. It was how the Curia had bred out claustrophobia and the loco ones so many generations ago.
We lived in a 10 x 10 meter capsule in the Cupang Cluster, a farming encomienda near the rear starboard engine of the Nuestra Señora de la Paz y Buen Viaje. Our family holdings were not nearly big enough for the eight of us, plus the mushroom farm we were contracted to tend. But none of us really complained. Everyone in Cabra had the same allotment. Besides, to speak ill of The Edicts meant a private audience with the Ecclesiastic Police, the ndi Nri. No one ever returned from those "special" meetings. No one dared ask why.
On this ship, my mother always said, it was always safer to suffer in silence.
Ten generations had come and gone since our Generation Ship left the Earth, but the Prelates said we weren't even halfway to our destination. I was born in space, and I would probably die in space. In my heart I knew that I would never see our new home, Gliese 581g — a small terrestrial planet in the old constellation of Libra. I suppose neither my children nor my children's children would reach planetfall either. But I guess that was okay, it would have been far worse to have been left behind, dying slowly and painfully in the radioactive ruins of our poor, destroyed world.
The eight of us hurried back to our quarters, running past the warren of barrios and lean-tos that choked the narrow passageways. Everything was so closely packed together it was difficult to move around. We picked our way through generations upon generations of Earth junk, now treasured relics too precious to throw away. It would be the Angelus soon, announcing the beginning of the night's curfew. We had to be home before the Domini Canes went on patrol.
That evening we had a simple dinner of protein soup, air-fried mushrooms and edible plastic that the boys had scavenged from the trash. Father kissed us goodnight and drew the thin curtain separating their small matrimonial space. There was never enough food for everyone. After our prelate's arrest, all the rations were reduced further. Our parents said they didn't have an appetite, but I knew they'd gone to bed hungry, again.
Today had been very long and tiring. My siblings, Orly, Igmeng, Chayong and Sepa fell asleep faster than usual. Bino, though, was still too upset to sleep. He tugged at the frail curtain, asking softly for our mother to read to him.
A part of me wanted to let him disturb them, to keep them from creating yet another mouth to feed. Eight people were really too much for our small space. If we had another sibling, Orly or perhaps Igmeng, who was younger but taller, would be forced to sleep in a lean-to at the corridor.
Father had said that Prelate Seldran was excommunicated because he'd asked the Lord Bishop, our Eze-Nri, to limit the size of families. Cabra Deck was already overcrowded, and many suffered from some form of malnutrition. My father and my brothers, for example, were effectively blind at night. In fact, all the men in our neighborhood lost their vision as soon as the deck lights were shut. None of the women were ever affected. It was, I suppose, another means of control.
In the heat of one homily, our priest had raged about too many children dying every day. "Why can't we keep them all hale and hearty," he had asked, "instead of constantly creating, discarding and replacing?"
Despite daily entreaties and numerous attempts to get an audience with the Lord Bishop, nothing ever happened. Matters of life and death on the steerage decks were just too low in the Curia's priorities. The Domini Canes simply collected and stacked the regular toll of bodies. At the start of the day-cycle they were flushed out of the airlock like yesterday's trash.
One day it simply became too much for our old Prelate. He began to explain an idea, a dangerous, radical concept which our language had no words for. His homily about unfulfilled coition made people cover their ears. The church band began to play loudly. I, myself, wanted to shut him out. Whatever he had said, however right he was — it just seemed so wrong. The Edicts had decreed that relations were solely for procreation. It was our sacred duty, something upon which the very security of our ship depended on. That was why on my thigh they made me wear the cilicio, a wire mesh studded with small spikes. The constant pain was meant to remind me of the law, of my personal responsibility, at least until the Curia paired me with a gen-screened husband.
That homily had proved to be his death warrant. Our parish priest had committed heresy, an act of terrorism against the Most Holy Curia.
Everyone knew that Generation Ships required a "minimum viable population" to preserve genetic diversity and prevent the sin of in-breeding. Posters all over Cabra reminded you about it constantly. However what that actual, necessary figure was, no one knew. Like everything else on our deck, no one spoke a word about it. Not that anyone could.
The only certain number was that each family had to maintain at least eight souls. This was the minimum at all times. I had always wondered how many people were already on-board our one-way trip to Gliese. The decks were forbidden to mix, although Father said that hadn't always been so. For all we knew, there were millions of people on the higher levels, multiplying like roaches behind our nano-plastic walls. That was probably why our rations got smaller every year-cycle, even when the mushroom harvests were good.
I pulled Bino to my bedroll and took out our family's only book, an ancient primer that had once belonged to our great-grandfather. It had no covers and many of its pages had gone missing long ago. Mother had composed her own rhymes for the missing letters, writing them on the blanks behind the surviving sheets. Despite the primer's poor state and the nonsense of its verse, Mother had managed to teach most of us to read.
"Read me the whole thing, Ate Elsa," Bino asked, stretching his arms to look for my shoulder, "please…"
"No," I said firmly. "It's already late. I'll only read the ones with pictures."
"But I can't see them," he protested. "They're all blurry."
"Too bad for you," I whispered crossly. It had been a long day for me too.
A is for Apocalypse, when the sky fell down forever
C is for the Celestial Beacon, a light that never severs
D is for Death, wife to vanished Earth
E is for the Eaters, cannibals from the dirt
G is for Gliese, where the Bishop will lead his sheep
N is for the New Cities, where the dead downloaded, sleep
"You forgot about R," Bino added.
"What do you mean R?" I asked. "I said I would only read the ones with pictures."
"R is for Rock," he said, listening intently to the sound of air circulating in the room. Like other night-blind kids, his hearing was incredibly acute. This talent would fade as Bino grew older, but for now, it seemed almost superhuman. Without looking up, he pointed to one of the farm racks. "Father keeps that page behind those mushroom logs. I heard him take it out last night."
My brother was right. There was one page missing. R is for the Readers, I remembered, for the ancient heretics that had worshiped libraries.
I stepped over my sleeping siblings towards the walls of our farm and knelt in front of the stack that Bino had pointed to. With great care I removed each log of sterile media until I found what father had been hiding — a small bundle wrapped in a torn page of the primer.
I took it out and unwrapped it. Inside was an anting-anting, a small rock — a piece of planet Earth that some ancient fool had smuggled on-board. It had been laser-etched with the mano poderosa, the symbol for the hand of God. I looked at the other papers. They were all secret missives from Prelate Seldran. Each one spoke of the food shortage and every successive communication was more strident than the last.
"It is never just to follow unjust laws," he wrote, "but people driven by fear choose stability over freedom. They need to be pushed."
The final note alarmed me. It was from father asking the men of Cupang to attend a mass action in the morrow. Father had been staying out late more often. I suspected he had been planning something, ever since the rations were halved last week. This week-cycle alone, he had twice risked the Angelus.
As I wrapped everything up again I noticed that Father had written something behind the torn primer page. It was gibberish scrawled in a desperate frenzy, as if to remember a dream that was fading too quickly.
In a Library of infinite dimensions… Tang–ina, Ancestors were Readers… now in a red room with millions of monkeys. Que huevas! The head gave over–ride key. Translux Baboon? Translucia Baboon???
= Bene legere saecla vincere — To read well is to master the ages
Elsa Bring Orly or Igmeng
My name had been crossed out, that much I understood. Whatever Father had planned, I was not to be part of it. That wasn't fair. I was the eldest. Ay wey, I had a right to fight for my future too. Whatever happened, no matter what he did to stop me, I made up my mind to join them.
"Elsa, I'm still hungry," Bino said, rousing me from my brooding.
I ignored him and returned the bundle to Father's hiding place. When I came back, I handed him a greasy piece of Tupperware. "I only have this,"
"Yuck, that looks so old," he said, making a face. "I hate edible plastic."
"I'm sorry, baby. Wiz na. That's all I have," I said as I kissed him good night. "Just close your eyes. Close your eyes and try to go to sleep."
Bino snuggled against me and cried himself to dreamland.
The next day, a riot erupted on Cabra Deck.
It had started peacefully as a prayer rally. Father had taken my eldest brothers, Orly and Igmeng, to Cupang's tiny chapel. There they attended a memorial service for our fallen priest.
I had fought with my father, begging him to let me come along, but he was adamant and as unyielding as the rock he had secreted in his pocket.
After they left I badgered my mother for permission. "Please, come with me Mother. What if they shut the lights? They'll be taken by the Domini Canes. We can't let them."
"You know your father has forbidden you. Kodi, kodi… let it be."
"Why?" I challenged her. "You always tell me to have my own mind. We need to be there."
"Remember what the Edicts say: Thou submittest the wives to their husbands, for a faithful and chaste obedience."
I lost my temper, something I had never done before.
I screamed at my mother and called her out on every mistake and every hurt she'd ever visited upon me. I told her she was a terrible wife and a horrible mother for allowing them to face danger so casually, so recklessly.
"I know about the anting-anting," I said finally, crying in pain, crying in shame. "I read all the secret papers. The Bishop is starving Cabra."
"Then you know why I can't let you go," Mother said, putting on a steely face that I knew was her mask of false conviction. "You are smart, young and healthy, Elsa. You will make a great breeder, perhaps even for the Cabrón. I know you hear the voices. You are our family's most valuable asset, our best insurance."
"I don't hear anything!" I wailed, covering my ears.
"You can't hide something like that from your parents. Never ever disrespect me again."
"I'm sorry Mommy, but Orly and Igmeng…" I cried. Big hot tears were rolling off my cheeks like ball bearings. "That's not fair! They're just boys!"
"Precisely, and boys are less important," she answered coldly. "You are old enough so I won't lie to you. The Curia is starving Cabra as a lesson. Many people will die but if some of us are to survive, we need to hedge our bets. Right now our food stocks are so low we don't have anything to eat tomorrow. We've already finished the mushrooms, and the new spawn aren't edible yet. The only ones left are the Bishop's Narco, and you know those are poison."
"But that's not fair!" I screamed. "I'm the eldest! I should be the one with Father."
I bolted towards the door in defiance but Mother had already locked it. Outside our quarters, a sharp pealing of bells announced a sudden curfew. All power was shut off, and Cabra was plunged into a vast black ocean.
"I'm sorry too, Elsa," she said softly, as if she had expected the darkness. Mother stood up and prepared to draw their privacy curtain. "There's no more soup, there's no more plastic but I left three mushrooms on the counter. Air-fry them and divide them among you. I'm not hungry so don't leave any for me. I… I need to get some sleep in case your… before your father returns."
Behind the thin screen, Mother cried in silence.
An hour later, she finally fell asleep. The three youngest kids had also nodded off, victims of the oppressive boredom and the crippling lack of power. Somewhere outside our quarters, a lonely Igbo flute played an ominous narcorrido. It sounded just like a dirge.
I went over to Mother's worktable and grabbed a bottle of her special ground mushrooms. She had found a way to store Psilocybe and Panaeolus as a powder without losing their nightmare potency. It was illegal to sell these to anyone outside the Curia. Father told me that they were considered sacred and fed only to the clergy with telepathic augmentations. In fact, to use them for any other purpose was a sin punishable by death. However, sometimes it earned us extra rations, so Mother persisted with her dangerous trade.
One of the things she'd taught me was that if you combined the powder with luminol and a few other chemicals, it would glow for an hour or so, like a jar of distilled stars. I stole just enough to light my way through the corridors.
"Your father can hear us, just like you," the voice inside my head spoke. "I gave him the code. Be careful, boneca. Find me if you can."
"Ay wey, I must've inhaled some of mother's hallucinogens," I thought, shaking my head to drive the voice away. Time was of the essence, and I didn't need any stupid distractions.
Chayong was our next eldest, so I left her in charge of the household. The two of us quietly removed the cover of an unsealed service hatch. It had been hidden behind one of our large farm stacks. I'd seen Orly slip out at night from this hidden exit. It was the only way for him to meet his syota privately — at least not without having to get married first.
The sewer smelled of shit and organic waste. I crawled through as quickly as I could to keep myself from gagging. Just before the exit, I saw one of Orly's salvage bags hanging on a spike. Inside were a wire cutter and a spare paltik, a homemade electrolaser that he and Father had made from stolen electronics. It was what my brother had been using to protect himself from the Domini Canes. I whispered a prayer of thanks and clipped both to my belt.
Outside our quarters, Cabra Deck was eerily quiet. Signs of violence lay everywhere: all sorts of broken things, pools of blood and torn pieces of clothing. I knew that there'd been a riot, but there was absolutely no one in the corridors.
I flew through Cupang Cluster like an águila, moving furtively between blinds, alcoves and abandoned lean–tos until I spotted some activity.
In the small plaza just outside the chapel, a crowd of men were on their knees, fearful but unbowed by the beasts of the ndi Nri. Many of the rioters were injured and bleeding. Piles of broken bodies had been stacked near the church door.
A snarling pack of Domini Canes had surrounded the survivors. The heavily-armed telepresence robots rumbled menacingly as they sent their masters the head count, the body count and every possible threat assessment data.
I ducked out of sight as soon as I saw the wolf-like mecha, shrouding my lantern with my shirt. Frightful as they were, I was mesmerized by their strange beauty. In the half-light of the Holosonic, their liquid-armor bodies shimmered purple, vermilion and bronze. I imagined these to be the colors of a sun that I had never seen, the burial clothes of a mother-star that we had abandoned so long ago.
Father and the boys were at the front of the group. Orly was bleeding from one leg and his clothes were badly torn. Igmeng's face was covered in bruises. They were on their knees, but father still seemed defiant. His back was ramrod-straight and his head remained proud and unrepentant.
"Our children are hungry," I heard him say. "Please, we are only asking for the rations to be restored."
"Trust in the Bishop with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding," the Holosonic blared, with its hollow Jovian voice. "In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths."
"There's no more food!" someone else protested. "You take all our mushrooms and then cut our rations. What are we expected to eat?"
Murmurs of dissent started to rise and ebb among the rioters. Then, quite unexpectedly, someone started to sing. Soon everyone assembled had joined in and were chanting softly: "Shalom, maging payapa. Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness: for they shall be filled. Shalom, maging payapa. Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness: for they shall be filled."
The singing spread like magic from the rioters to the gloomy corridors of Cupang. Every household, it seemed, had come together to form a Jericho wall of hymns.
"Dissent is a disease," the Holosonic declared. Its groaning screen sputtered to life, flashing pictures of the bracelets we'd made for the funeral. The images cycled so fast it made some people in the crowd vomit. "Whoever spares the rod spoils the child," it drawled, "but those that are diligent discipline."
In the plaza, the Domini Canes suddenly raised their guns. "Trust in the Bishop with all your heart. Peace lives in silence. You must be silenced. By orders of the Holy Curia and the authority vested in our system by the Eze-Nri, the Most Blessed Office of the Lord Bishop, you are all hereby excommunicated."
The rioters and the rest of our cluster became deathly quiet. The voice on the Holosonic ordered all the men to line up single file and walk towards the airlocks.
In the darkness someone threw a rock at the Domini Canes. And then another and another. I heard the Holosonic shatter into a thousand crystal pieces. Our men launched a surprise attack, assaulting the monsters with all manner of improvised weapons. The boys acted as their olheiros; the "eyes" of the men in the blackness, telling them what to hit and where to shoot. Together, they shorted the liquid armour with paltiks and cracked weak spots with metal tubing. For the first time ever, cold silicon blood spilled on the floor.
But the battle was short-lived. It didn't take long for more Domini Canes to join the fray. Horde upon horde of the vicious demon mecha appeared from the shadows, tearing people apart. The tzat–tzat sound of plasma discharges seemed everywhere, cleaving skulls from crown to teeth, or cutting arms clean from sockets. The plaza erupted with the bang of gas explosions and the astounded screams of fathers and sons, disbelieving their own deaths.
The slaughter proceeded ruthlessly, relentlessly. I had to do something — anything to help.
I used Orly's paltik to short the seals off a nearby service hatch. The tunnel was much, much larger than the last one. I ran inside until I saw an old ordenador access panel. I'd heard stories of people trying to hack the ship's brain through one of these, but no one had ever succeeded (except perhaps to trigger the intruder alert and get executed). I really had no idea of what I was doing, but I was desperate and running out of options.
When the password box appeared, I remembered what Father wrote on the primer page and typed Translux Baboon. An error screen, SAFIS 401 Unauthorized Error, appeared. I had two more tries before 403 Forbidden would come, setting off the alarm.
Translucia Baboon was also a bust. Sweat poured from my scalp like a leaky Neowater pipe. There was no ventilation in the tunnel, and my thin shirt was soon drenched with perspiration. It clung like phlegm to the small of my back.
A heavy door came down suddenly, blocking the entrance I'd come though. Now I had no escape. I had only one more chance before the system sent the Domini Canes my way.
SAFIS 401 Unauthorized Error… SAFIS 401 Unauthorized Error…
I took a deep breath and said a prayer to Our Lady of Gliese. I typed in the first words that came to mind — Bene legere saecla vincere. "To read well is to master the ages": the central tenet of the heretic Readers.
Somehow, in some way that I couldn't explain, it actually worked. The words had acted like a kulam, a spell of some sort, disabling the defense systems and granting me full access to the ship's living neural nets.
"Where did my father learn that?" I wondered.
A massive floating screen popped open above me, giving the illusion of infinite space. On it was a map of the Nuestra Señora de la Paz y Buen Viaje. Our ship was a hollow, spherical shell 160 kilometers in diameter, divided into hundreds of self-sustaining sections. Less than a quarter of the ship showed any life signs — just three decks in steerage, Belo Horizonte, Cabra and Pagbilao, and a few clusters in engineering. On the First Class deck, seven cities had survived: Boston, Caracas, Maynilad, Tenochtitlán, Nri, Paris and Rio. Roma's Ecclesiastic Ring had been completely decimated. Only one monastery remained — the one where the Cabrón, the Augmented Clergy, were kept from the laity.
The ordenador central told me that the Lord Bishop, the Curia and most of the ship had died long ago. It didn't say when, how or why. The system, it seemed, had been running on autopilot, following the infallible instructions of a dead man whose word was law to a brutal, mechanical police.
On Cupang's map, I saw that life signs were going out one by one.
I flipped through the screens frantically, trying to stop the Domini Canes or at least turn the power back on. But all the necessary icons had been blacked out. Nothing worked. People were dying with every second I delayed.
I pounded the maintenance console in anger, in frustration. "Our Lady of Gliese, help me," I prayed. I reached deep inside my mind, searching for something, any scrap of information that could help. Without really meaning to, I called on the voice inside my head, "I need to save my family, please."
"You only call out when you're in trouble. Why is that?" the voice inside my head whispered. "Let me be of assistance. I can commandeer this ship but you're the one with physical access. I will need to get inside your mind."
"Do it." I hissed. "Whoever you are, whatever you are, do it now!"
"Lamento, lamento, boneca… but there's truly no other way."
Without warning I felt something warm pour inside my brain. It was as if my mind, my soul had wrapped around someone else's. Like new lovers we were circumscribed by a relentless rush of unfamiliar thoughts and emotions. We touched in an impossible space, an impossible time, suddenly called to witness the vast and endless perturbations of the universe. Desnudo, despido, our souls co-mingled with a profound intimacy that words simply lacked the depth, the ferocity to describe. He was so close, so very, very close I could literally taste him in my mouth.
When the mind-meld was over, my legs gave way, and I could barely stand. But I knew exactly what I had to do.
I pulled out a new screen to access a long dormant shellcode, the payload of a virus that heretic Readers had planted generations ago. The know-how for the exploit was solid and crystal-clear in my head, yet I truly had no idea how I knew what I was doing. I didn't even sound like me in my own head anymore.
Gostoso, gostoso… what language was that? It was so… tasty?
In short order I had shut down the Domini Canes and restored the power in Cabra. I opened all the gates, hatches and doors that the ndi Nri had shut. Everyone was now free to access all the decks and corridors. Most importantly I found food, lots and lots of food stored in secret caches everywhere. There were also at least twenty fully-operational protein factories, only two of which had been used by the entire ship. And on the highest cluster, where the Lord Bishop and the Curia had lived, there was a vast garden, one with almost a hectare of self-sustaining vegetable farms and orchards.
I couldn't wait to share my discovery with everyone on Cabra. Porra! I was so giddy with excitement that I'd almost forgotten about the riot.
"Porra?" I caught myself. Since when did I cuss in Português Brasileiro?
It was a mystery for another time. I returned my focus to my mission and pulled up every security camera near Cupang's chapel. I needed to see if Father and my brothers had survived.
Fires had broken out across many corridors, knocking out many of the surveillance monitors. For those that worked, heavy smoke obscured my view. I powered up the auxiliary emergency system to vent the dirty air.
When the smoke had cleared, I saw many bodies lying inert on the plaza. Many were friends and neighbors that I had known all my life. Near the door of the chapel I saw Father and Igmeng. They were both wounded but alive. Father was tending to Orly who lay broken and bleeding at his feet.
I screamed. A great knot of fear had formed in the pit of my stomach.
"He is alive," said the voice inside my head, "alive but very seriously injured. He needs a bone stapler. You need to find me and bring me to him. There is a hospital facility just two levels above your deck. Meet me there. Por favor, apresse."
A new window floated above me like a phosphene sprite, showing me where to go.
"Thank you." I said, as I ran back through the maintenance tunnel. "Who are you?"
"My name is Ismael, minha boneca," he answered. "I am a just a bicho simples, a novice with the Cabrón."
"How come I can hear you in my head?"
"I have an alien parasite on my nape. We call them the Cafuné or sometimes Abacaxi, which means both 'pineapple' and 'deep trouble'. They give humans telepathy," He replied. "Your father was the first mind I found outside our deck."
"My father?"
"Yes, that was why I could find him. We are… connected… you and I. My spores found you. They gave your father the access codes to the ship, but the Domini Canes, they discovered us and came for me. I was lucky you reached out to my Cafuné when you did."
"What?" I asked. "I never did that."
"You are doing it now," he whispered softly. Suddenly, I realized I could feel something fuzzy behind my head, something that felt like flesh and cotton-wool. I reached to touch my nape, but there was nothing there. Still, I could feel it, squeeze it; flex it with my mind. It spoke to me in a swarm of new images and emotions.
"How is that… possible." I stammered. "How… how do I know I can trust you?"
"You've seen my innermost self, my soul, minha boneca," he whispered. "You know me inside and out."
"Why me?"
"There are things under heaven which carry no logic and we… my Cafuné and I, we love your beautiful mind."
I could feel the sudden sheepishness in his voice. An unfamiliar word appeared in my head, apaixonado, and something dirty, something electric stirred in my soul, a rapaciousness that I had never felt before. I took out Orly's wire cutter and removed my cilicio. It was a sign of my bondage — no, our bondage, our failure to trust ourselves with our own future.
The maintenance tunnel was now brightly–lit. I dropped my lantern and ran as fast as I could, heading towards where Ismael had pointed me to go. I ran to save my brother. I ran to save our ship. I ran to chase a curious new hunger that now burned within my soul — a hunger as deep as space, deep as death, and infinite as the stars which were our true home.
Victor Fernando R. Ocampo is a Singapore–based Filipino writer. His fiction has appeared in Apex Magazine, Expanded Horizons, Lakeside Circus, The Philippines Free Press, Strange Horizons and the World SF Blog, as well as anthologies like Fish Eats Lion: New Singaporean Speculative Fiction, LONTAR: The Journal of Southeast Asian Speculative Fiction and Philippine Speculative Fiction (Volumes 6 and 9).
He lives in Singapore, by the side of foggy Bukit Timah hill, with his wife and two daughters.
Follow him on Twitter @VictorOcampo.
Absolutely incredible. I could read this forever.
Thanks for your kind words Gabby!
This was an interesting story with an interesting futuristic setting
Please tell me you'll continue the adventures in this world/generation ship. I desperately want to read more!
I'm glad you liked it. This actually started as a longer work (for a series of stories) but I had to cut it back for easier submission. I am certainly tempted to continue it now. Thanks.
I second this. Please, please continue this.
Wonderful! Yes, please continue this. I am so curious! What happens next?
This is an amazing story! I hope there's more of it.
I LOVED this! Amazing story! I third and forth everyone – please continue it!
I LOVED this. I know I'm echoing everyone else–but I would 100% stay in this world and with these characters for a novel.
Cool story Bro.
We are studying southeast Asian authors and I was delighted to find your story. It is such an interesting mix of religious/ morality/ universal ideas/ science fiction and provides a solid piece to evaluate human nature (even outside of its natural habitat).
Thanks for publishing so we could access it!
This story was really good! You should make a short film of this!
I was scared at times which was really good, you should make a full book on this.
I loved this story Just i found the names a little confusing and hard to keep up with
I feel a connection between the world in the story and our world.Made me think about our society and what going on at this time
1. Prepare for the massive amount of comments
2. Thought this was a good short story.
This needs to be a movie!!!!! Fabulous writing and I genuinely feel like I'm in the ship!!! Please continue writing!!!
I think this short short story was very great. I like how it talks about the future and what happens if there's too much people in one area and not enough food for the people.
This is too long, And i feel that this story had a bit too much made up words that were not fuly explained
Very amazing story. I liked how this relates to real life world issues and history. I liked the way the plot was structured and I love the idea of this story. It's almost like a dystopia.
I feel that this story had a bit too much made up words that were not fuly explained.
i felt weird about how they have to eat plastic because their food storage run out
This story was setup in a situation of where the story is very interesting. The feeling of the story is like a death ceremony. Just the way the author setup the story made it feel like that and it made me as a reader feel fear.
This story is pretty long even though its literally a short short story.
This Story Was A Bit Confusing Because There Were People Dying, There Was No Food, The Ship Was A Church Ship, Priest Died, And The Language Were Switched Up.
Your story made me built a strong connection with the characters and I found myself feeling scared and worried about whether the characters will be able to survive and what will happen next for them.
This is a beautiful piece of writing that has an intriguing ending a true cliff hanger and I hope that you write a sequel so that we can find out what happens the remainder of the journey.
This is one of the best stories that stacks the readers' cards not in their favor. I love how it made me feel weak and hopeless, like there was nothing that you could do about the situations like starvation and overpopulation that plague the generation ship. Hoping for a sequel!
The story made me read it until the end which is really rare for me. The plot is so interesting!
This story was very interesting and I had different emotions while reading it.
It had a very interesting plot and it would definitely be an amazing short film.
At the beginning of the story I was kinda shocked because I didn't expect it to start off with the excommunication of a former priest.
All throughout the story I have been feeling fear because everywhere Elsa goes she must be careful. Like being careful not to be spotted when it was curfew, being careful not to sound the alarm when hacking into the old computer, and being careful to trust anyone anymore, especially with an alien in the nape of her neck
Since there are many things going on. I really don't know what happened it was really weird in the beginning, since in the beginning someone already died. What the hell is this story about no idea since again there is so much things going on.
Crazy and scary because of how if thinking that the people were going to eat the brothers, because they were running out of food.
I felt strong emotions.
I really liked how there is a lot of figurative language in this short story. I also liked how this story was first person because I was able to connect with the story and put myself in Elsa's shoes. I am really glad I took the time to read this.
I felt that this story was very well written. I went through a range of emotions from confused,frustrated, and to disgusted. This story was a lengthy but amazing one. I was especially shocked when I found out how they taught the alphabet to the children. Using D for death was so foreign to me since normally children would not do that.
his story had a lot of dystopian themes such as earth being destroyed and the human population living on a spaceship with little food. I really enjoyed how much imagery and emotion was in this story.
I was enamoured by this story and loved the way this dystopian-esque future is written. Although it was gruesome and dark, I enjoyed the fantastical sci-fi feeling throughout this story which left me wanting more. The way that this story was told in first-person left both the reader and the actual character learning from the character's thoughts and experiences due to the situation. Living the story through Elsa's eyes not only helped make the reader think like her, but left the audience with the same questions and thoughts she would be having. The different ways things are described in this story by similes and metaphors is funny, Elsa compares things to other things only she knows of. For example, she compares the different colors she sees as what she would think of the sun of looking like even though she had never seen it before. Overall, this was a nice read and I wouldn't mind joining Elsa to experience more.
I felt so disturbed (in a good way) when it says, "… Instead we watched him die and commuted his soul quietly to our Lady of Gliese." It was definitely well written to make me feel that way.
I was shocked when the children were going to basically be sacrificed. I also found it heartwarming when Elsa was doing all these things such as going through a sewer in order to save her father and brothers.
I thought that this story was engaging, and it was an interesting take on what can happen when you don't fight back and how something horrible can continue to be perpetuated. I enjoyed reading about how the father and his sons chose to fight back instead of "suffer in silence," and how this chain of events led to everyone finding out what was actually happening. I also felt concern when the mother told Elsa that she couldn't go with her father simply because she'd be a great "breeder." she'd It sort of reminded me of A Handmaid's Tale, because women's fertility were considered highly important.
I feel that figurative language was found very often in this short story. Some parts made me feel very shocked like towards the beginning when it starts off with someone being sacrificed. The details made me feel very connected and it was like I could imagine myself in that position. Some parts also made me feel very disturbed but in a positive way.
I really liked the use of figurative language in the story. The story plot was also very interesting to read. The story being written in first person made me picture myself in Elsa's shoes.
Victor Ocampo, you have created such a creative story. I felt that this story takes a different input into what the future of our society can be. Driven by stability instead of freedom, it shows that your figurative language gives the characters a sense of pessimism. Elsa for example, shows the imagery of what a dystopia driven by radical beliefs can turn into.
I think the strongest part of this story is how it's not afraid to introduce violence. It adds a whole new element of surprise to the story.
This short story is very well written. I love the use of diction and other forms of figurative language and how they add to they way the reader feels. The plot is very intriguing and and made me question and have to take time to process the full intensity of what was being shared. My emotions ranged from surprise, shock, realization, and more and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this mysteriously fascinating piece of literature.
From the beginning, I was immediately intrigued by the execution scene. It was shocking how children were there to witness it. As the story progressed, it only became more and more fascinating. I like how you included a bit of mystery with the missing page and unknown levels of the spaceship. It left me questioning. At the end, I was still left with many questions. It was a very well written short story that I would definitely read as a book.
This story is gruesome yet beautiful. A dying ship travelling through never ending darkness, with a spark of warmth and hope igniting in the dark. This terrifying yet realistic interpretation of the future keeps your eyes glued to the screen, and makes you fear, perhaps, your own dark thoughts and selfishness. The figurative language used in this short story sharpened my vision as I read, and encouraged me to dive further into this cold world. The moment you begin reading you get a sense of the foul society that Elsa lives in, and the hopelessness that has devoured generations as they were born and buried in the dark vacuum of space.
Your story was very well written. It was very descriptive because of all the details, figurative language pieces, similes, etc. you added to your story. I found the part where Elsa was talking about all of these gruesome words to her younger sibling very disturbing and I can't believe she was teaching those kinds of words to him but wow, this story gave such a different vibe than all the rest (which I really enjoyed). The dystopian, space feel was super cool to read in a book because I have never read anything like this before!
This story was enjoyable in multiple different aspects. At first it took a little time to pick up exactly what was going on, but that was just me personally. As the story progresses the reader begins to understand more and more and eventually it all ties together. The use of figurative languages and descriptive took my attention and I realized that the more I kept going the more I understood and the more interested I was.
This story kept me intrigued and reading. Within reading this story it leaves me questioning 'what's the background of the voices?', 'what's the background of Elsa's life?', how'd their society came to be. This would be a story I would continue to read in curiousness of the plot and Elsa's life. It is very descriptive and gives a good idea of what their world looks like.
This was a good story to read as the figurative language used in the story made the story more descriptive for some of the events in the story. The first person made it feel like I was going through this story and overall a good read.
This story is amazing. I really felt the emotion of Elsa and saw things in her point of view. I love how while reading this, I would feel a type of frustration of how things are happening in this dystopia. While Elsa was reading to her younger sibling, I was shocked at how she wouldn't care of the disturbing things she was showing. It is so interesting how things are functioning in this society, I wanted to keep reading!
I was really intrigued while reading this story. i would say the part that stood out to me the most, was when the mother said that it was always safer to suffer in silence. This made me surprised and shocked because usually when you are suffering, you want someone there that can help you. when i got to this point of the story it made me pause and really think about a situation where i could be suffering in silence with no one around. overall, i think this story was well written and it allowed me to have a different perspective on life.
I thought the story was pretty good. Right from the beginning i was intrigued and curious as to what's happening and what will happen next. First person perspective made it feel like the story was real and this feels like it could be turned into a book series.
I was impressed how you wrote the scene about how Elsa read that alphabet book to her little brother. It was disturbing to see that she was reading those terms to him. The boy was young and he was listening to those gruesome words. The funeral scene was well written too. I felt shocked and surprised that they were watching an excommunication, especially the children watching, it was quite shocking.
There is a good amount of figurative language, an example of one is the simile, "…multiplying like roaches." This lets us know how crowded the ship was getting. When I was reading this story, it made me realize how wrong and shocking this society is, that they only get a few amounts of food and barely enough for everyone. This story reminds me of a dystopian society, because people are in an unpleasant state and the robots are the "bad" people. I think that the fact this story was told in first person as a personal feeling to the events and it makes you feel like you are with them, because they are sharing their emotions and thoughts throughout the story.
This story isn't really that great.For example the use of space and comparing it to the void being lost and unable to speak , I understand that ,but the battle between robots makes not sense. This isn't star wars ,its a story about a girl who is trapped not a Jedi.
At the part where the main character was reading to her little brother I thought the way the alphabet was explained was disturbing and graphic to the little brother. That part I feel was supposed to be disturbing and uncomfortable to the audience, so it seems to be written very well.
I was first drawn in when I first started reading it because even from the beginning it was pretty disturbing. It was disturbing because of how the children were so young yet there were witnessing this gruesome event. Another scene that arose an emotion in me was when Elsa was reading the alphabet to her younger siblings. This story also had me gasping through out the story because I couldn't believe that the people were just there letting other people die in front of them. All together I thought the story was well written to draw the reader in
I was drawn in right off the bat. The way this author was able to take subjects and phrases that are so out of a young readers comfort zone and turn them into something we can understand was thrilling. The author was able to take the readers emotions and have them " dance with each other." This story provided a visual output of a young character and relate it somehow to fantasy and modern issues hitting our generation today.
I enjoyed that the story was futuristic and science fictional. As well as the way the text put me in the shoes of the main character, it felt like it was real and was happening to me. The story was very detailed and allowed me to picture everything in my mind. I felt very engaged as the reader and loved the suspense in the plot. The story left me wanting more. Overall the story was brilliant.
I found this story very interesting but very shocking to be honest and was disturbed by a few things. One thing was that having to force young people, or even anybody watch someone die is really something that got me like why would they do this? Another thing is reading young people stories that are just wrong like cannibalism. Having reading this story in first person gave me a feeling of being somewhat in the story. It made me want to read of what Elsa would do in that kind of situation and made me think would I have done the same thing? I really enjoyed this story and really made me think about their society and ours.
This short story was amazing. It is filled with so many scenes that make you feel something. For example, the thought process of the main character constantly disturbed me in the early parts of the text, as she was so nonchalant about how she probably would never see or set foot on a planet, and neither would her children, but it would be ok because it wouldn't be as bad as dying back on Earth. I think the similes throughout the story really helped convey the emotions of the characters well, like when Elsa explained how for all they knew, the people in another sector could be multiplying like roaches; this made me feel like she probably did not feel very friendly towards the other sections.
The story "Blessed are the Hungry" made me feel surprised and a sense of realization throughout society. Straight from the start of the story, I was jumped into death and destruction. It made me aware of what was about to becoming next and prepped me for the future events. The figurative language that you included about "The singing spread like magic from the rioters." Displayed an analogy of diction that was able to be comparable to current society.
Nice story, I really like it, can't stop reading!!!
Thank you to all of you that left comments on my story! My most heart-felt thank you also to the teacher that suggested using "Blessed Are The Hungry" for their class. There is no greater gift you can give a writer than by reading his work and telling him how you honestly feel about it.


text:
The message comes in fine but when users click on the link it says:
In Firefox:
Not Acceptable
An appropriate representation of the requested resource /cgi-bin/activate.cgi could not be found on this server.
Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.
In Internet Explorer:
Internet Explorer cannot read this webpage format
It is not until they actually go into the Address bar on the browser and hit "Enter" on their keyboard that it will activate the account.
I realize that the url has a random id number like this: /cgi-bin/activate.cgi?3132131910231219 is it the host site that is not able to read the ?{id} part? or is something else wrong?
Or do i have permissions wrong on the activate.cgi file? (755)


text: Bye Bye Birdie was recently presented by students in the Upper School at Worcester Prep. Music Teacher Dan Freed was the director. Above, Conrad Birdie, played by Jordan Kilgore, is pictured with some of his adoring fans, Caroline Lewis, Elena LaPlante, Carolyn Dorey, Parker Kellam, Devin Hammond, Claire Dorey and Kathryn Lawrence. Below, Elise Harmon and Thomas Thornett receive congratulations for their leading performances.


text:
Amber Lauren Best and Brandon Thomas James exchanged vows in Kinston.
Amber Lauren Best of Albertson and Brandon Thomas James of Pink Hill were united in marriage at 6:30 p.m. April 20, 2013, at Kinston First Pentecostal Holiness Church in Kinston. The Rev. Gerald Hollamon was the officiating minister.
Escorted by her father and given in marriage by her parents, the bride is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Marty Best of Albertson. She is the granddaughter of Mr. and Mrs. Harrell Thigpen of Kinston and the late Anna Herring, who lived in Albertson.
A graduate of Wayne Community College with an associate�s in applied science degree in dental hygiene, she is a registered dental hygienist with Dr. Cheryl Carraway in Snow Hill.
The groom is the son of Debra Arnette Howard of Fremont and Rodney James of Pink Hill. He is the grandson of Rachel Arnette of Pink Hill and the late Lester Arnette, and Dorothy Philyaw of Richlands and the late Butler James.
A graduate of UNC Wilmington with a Bachelor of Science degree in business administration, he is a self-employed independent insurance agent and a real estate broker with Grady Team Realty.
Following a wedding trip to Hawks Cay Resort in the Florida Keys, the couple resides in Pink Hill.
The bride wore a fitted A-line gown designed by Maggie Sottero. The intricate illusion bodice with corded lace featured a deep V-neckline, delicate cap sleeves, and button/loop closure covered with Swarovski crystals. The asymmetrical skirt of soft shimmer satin featured pleating and voluminous bustles throughout, accented by beaded embellishments.
Her single-tier fingertip-length veil featured a satin cord edge. She carried an arc shaped bouquet of coral and white peonies accented with diamond clusters. The stems were wrapped in ivory lace and pearl buttons from the sleeve of her grandmother�s wedding dress, which added a special and personal touch.
Robyn James Swinson of Deep Run, the groom�s sister, was matron of honor.
Brittany Wallace of Kinston, the bride�s cousin, was maid of honor.
Bridesmaids were Candice Marshburn and Meredith King, both of Greenville; Kellen Skinner of Wilson; Megan Renfro Miller of Beulaville; and Shelly Dawson of Kinston.
Kellynn Swinson of Deep Run, the groom�s niece, was flower girl.
The groom�s father served as his son�s best man.
Groomsmen were Alberto Chedrani of Morrisville; Austin Hardison, Dusty Murphy, and the bride�s brother, Derek Sutton, all of Kinston; the groom�s brother, Kevin James of Fremont; and the groom�s brother-in-law, Terry Swinson Jr. of Deep Run.
The bride�s cousin, Connor Alcock of Kinston, was the ring bearer.
Wedding music was provided by Blair Mozingo of Albertson, vocalist, and Tricia Tanner of Cary, harpist.
The wedding was directed by Renae Banks of Trenton.
Register attendant was Jessica Sanchez of Deep Run. Program attendants were Amy Albertson of Kinston and Logan Turner of Grifton.
Following the ceremony, the bride�s parents hosted a reception at the Lenoir County Shrine Club. Mr. and Mrs. Jack Davis greeted guests. Wedding rice attendants were Hailey Alcock and Kelsi Swinson.
On Oct. 12, an engagement party was given by Candice, Paige and Sandy Marshburn at their home in Pink Hill.
On Feb. 10, a lingerie shower was given by Megan Miller and Bridget Sherrod at the Miller home in Beulaville.
On Feb. 13, a wedding shower was given by the groom�s co-workers at Woodmen of the World in Kinston.
On March 9, a wedding shower was given by the bride�s and groom�s families at Kinston First Pentecostal Holiness Church.
March 22-24, a bachelorette weekend, organized by Shelly Dawson and given by friends of the bride, was held in Myrtle Beach, S.C.
On April 7, a monogram shower was given by Meredith King, Meghan King, Anna King, Donna Archuleta and Lesley Minor in Greenville.
On April 12, a bachelor party given by the groom�s friends was held in Raleigh.
On April 13, a bridesmaids� luncheon was given by the bride�s family at The Folded Napkin Bistro and Catering in Kinston.
On April 16, a wedding shower was given by the bride�s co-workers at the office of Dr. Cheryl Carraway, DDS, in Snow Hill.
On April 19, a rehearsal dinner was hosted by the groom�s parents at The Folded Napkin Bistro and Catering in Kinston.


text:
UNIVERSITY PARK, Pa. — William Murtagh, program coordinator with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's Space Weather Prediction Center, will present "Space Weather Storms: Are We Ready for a 'Space Katrina'" at 8 p.m. on April 12, in 22 Deike Building on the University Park campus of Penn State.
The event, free and open to the public, is the 2013 Arthur H. Waynick Memorial Lecture. Murtagh's talk is sponsored by the Communications and Space Sciences Laboratory and the Department of Electrical Engineering.
Last Updated January 09, 2015


text:
Sporty and innovative.
Editor: New Car Test Drive
$24,350 Base Price MSRP
$39,450 As Tested MSRP
Model Lineup: Nissan Quest 3.5 ($24,3500); 3.5 S ($25,650); 3.5 SL ($27,500); 3.5 SE ($33,900)
Standard Engine: 3.5-liter dohc 24-valve V6
Engine Options: 235-hp 3.5-liter dohc 24-valve V6
Standard Transmission: 5-speed automatic
Transmission Options: 5-speed automatic
Basic Warranty: 3 years/36,000 miles
Assembled In: Canton, Mississippi
Model Tested MSRP: Nissan Quest 3.5 SL ($27,500)
Standard Equipment: cruise control; digital clock; trip computer; rear defogger; theft-deterrent system; roof rails; electrically adjustable front seats; leather-wrapped tilt steering wheel; electrically adjustable foot pedals; Bose AM/FM/CD stereo with six-disc changer; power door locks, mirrors, and windows; intermittent front and rear wipers; remote keyless entry; power liftgate and passenger side door; power rear quarter windows; rear audio controls; rear sonar system; HomeLink transmitter; electrochromic rear-view mirror
Options As Tested: SkyView package ($3200) with power sunroof, second- and third-row glass panels with sunshades, full-length overhead console, front-row center console, Sirius satellite radio, Bluetooth cellphone connectivity, dual-zone automatic climate control, automatic headlights, RearView monitor with seven-inch screen; SL Upgrade Package ($650) with power driver-side sliding side door, side-impact airbags; Fold-Away Seat package ($350) with fold-flat second-row captain's chairs and fold-flat third-row bench seat, three-point seatbelts, and LATCH-style child safety seat anchors; Navigation and PAX package ($3000) with GPS with DVD-based navigation system, and Michelin PAX System run-flat tires on 19-inch alloy wheels; SL Premium Package ($4050) with leather first- and second-row seats, heated front seats, four-way power front passenger seat, upgraded Bose audio with 10 speakers and subwoofer, fold-down front-row armrests, and rear-seat DVD entertainment with eight-inch screen and two wireless headphones; floormats ($160)
Standard Safety Equipment: dual frontal advanced airbags, side curtain airbags, front-seat active head restraints; tire-pressure monitor; anti-lock brake system (ABS), Electronic Brake-force Distribution (EBD), brake assist, traction control
Optional Safety Equipment: front-seat side-impact airbags; electronic stability control (VDC); rear sonar park-assist system, Michelin PAX run-flat tires.Destination Charge: $605
The space-age styling carries through inside with jetliner-style seats, and optional SkyView glass roof panels. A rounded pod juts out from the dash and houses the shifter and secondary controls. The cabin is comfortable and innovative. Its back seats are as roomy and comfortable as those of any minivan. And the rear cargo area is among the most useful, bested only by Chrysler's.
The Quest has a longer wheelbase than any minivan on the market today, and is as tall and long as its largest competitors. It's also one of the most versatile, with a radically arching roofline that contributes to its practicality. Its sliding doors open wide, and it boasts handy features such as a power liftgate, power rear-quarter windows, a sonar park-assist system, and overhead mood lighting. It's capable of towing up to 3500 pounds.
Nissan introduced the Quest as an all-new model for 2004. At the time, it featured a controversial interior design. Nissan changed to a more conventional interior for the 2007 model year, and also revised the front and rear exterior styling.
The 2007 Nissan Quest is offered in four trim levels: base 3.5, 3.5 S, 3.5 SL, and 3.5 SE. All are the same length. All feature Nissan's superb 3.5-liter V6 engine, a five-speed automatic transmission, and front-wheel drive.
The Quest 3.5 ($24,350) comes with cloth upholstery, six-way manually adjustable driver's seat with lumbar support, four-way manually adjustable passenger seat, front and rear air conditioning with rear controls, cruise control with switches on the steering wheel, AM/FM/CD audio with eight speakers and RDS, power windows, power door locks with remote keyless entry, two 12-volt power points, cornering lights, dual sliding doors, and P225/65HR16 Goodyear Eagle LS all-season tires on 16-inch steel wheels.
The 3.5 S ($25,650) adds a power right-side sliding door, a power liftgate, power third-row vent windows, in-dash six-disc CD changer, upgraded audio speakers, rear sonar back-up warning system, and illuminated steering wheel audio switches.
The 3.5 SL ($27,500) adds an eight-way power driver's seat, power-adjustable pedals, leather-wrapped steering wheel with cruise control and illuminated audio switches, rear-seat audio controls, upgraded stereo speakers, electrochromic rear-view mirror, HomeLink transmitter, and 16-inch aluminum wheels. The SL Premium package ($4,050) adds leather upholstery, heated front seats, a power four-way adjustable front passenger seat, front seat armrests, and 265-watt Bose sound system with 10 speakers and a six-CD in-dash changer. An Upgrade package ($650) adds front-seat side-impact airbags, a power sliding door on the driver's side, and puddle lamps.
The 3.5 SE ($33,900) adds leather upholstery; heated front seats; four-way power for the front passenger seat; dual-zone automatic climate control; RearView Monitor with a seven-inch screen; memory function for the driver's seat, mirrors, and pedals; dual power sliding doors; 265-watt Bose sound system with 10 speakers and a six-CD changer; an interior air filter; tilt-down backup aid side mirrors; a full-length overhead console; automatic headlights, fog lights, and P225/60HR17 Goodyear Eagles on machine-finished aluminum rims. The SE also has Nissan's SkyView Roof, which features a power glass sunroof over the first row, panoramic glass panels over the second and third rows, and sunshades for the panoramic panels. The SE also gets more safety features: front-seat side-impact airbags and Vehicle Dynamic Control (VDC).
The Seat Package, which nearly every Quest has, features fold-flat captain's chairs in the second row, with cupholders and an easy-entry feature, a fold-flat bench in third row with grocery-bag hooks, 3-point seat belts, and LATCH-style child safety seat anchors.
The DVD Entertainment Package ($1,550) includes a DVD drive mounted under the front passenger seat, a seven-inch color screen, remote control, auxiliary inputs, rear-seat audio controls and two wireless headphones. A dual-screen version of the system ($2,000) is available exclusively for the 3.5 SE. The Navigation and PAX package for the SL ($3000) and SE ($2650) includes a DVD navigation system with a seven-inch screen, 19-inch Michelin run-flat tires, and a cargo organizer for the area left by the now-absent spare tire.
The Technology package for the SL ($1700) includes dual-zone automatic climate control, satellite radio, a Bluetooth wireless cell phone link, the RearView monitor, and automatic headlights. The Technology package for the SE ($800) includes the satellite radio and Bluetooth. The Towing package ($560) gives the Quest a towing capacity of 3500 pounds.
Safety features include curtain airbags for all three rows (for head protection), the required frontal airbags, active head restraints, traction control, and anti-lock brakes (ABS) with electronic brake-force distribution (EBD) and Brake Assist, plus a tire-pressure monitor. Side-impact airbags (for torso protection) and electronic stabilit
Walk Around
The challenge in designing the Nissan Quest was to create a minivan that didn't look like one, while keeping it practical. By lengthening the wheelbase and shortening the front and rear overhangs, designers produced a swooping roof line while enlarging the interior space. Bold fender flares give it a sporty-looking front-end. Blacked-out side pillars provide a window line that goes from the front wheel arches to the taillights in a bold arching arrow. The result is a vehicle with sleek character lines that does not look nearly as big as it actually is.
The long wheelbase gave the designers the opportunity to lengthen the sliding rear doors. That makes getting in and out easier, especially to the third row of seats. The power sliding doors work very well, and will open simultaneously from a distance when the buttons on the remote are pressed, though we found them reluctant to respond at times. The sliding doors have pinch protection, but seemed to push pretty hard before reversing direction. Due to the swept-up hipline, the slot for the door runners is in the middle of the bodywork rather than being disguised along the lower edge of the side windows.
The power tailgate works well, though it was slow to respond to the remote. It's possible to interrupt then reverse its opening by pressing the remote button again, useful when you notice that you've backed up too close to a wall or tree for it to clear.
The cabin is far from typical. And while it may not be to everyone's taste, it's innovative and useful. The interior dimensions are enormous, making the Quest feel incredibly roomy. Interior materials are quite nice. Nissan has come a long way in this regard. Most of the materials are soft to the touch, and everything fits together well.
A rounded pod finished in a soft black material juts from the center of the dash housing the climate and audio controls and the shifter, bringing them closer to the driver. The buttons and knobs for the climate controls are large and easy to operate. The remaining controls take some acclimation, however. The radio uses A, B, and C presets instead of dedicated AM, FM, and satellite presets, and the Seek button is obscured by the shifter when in Drive.
XM and Sirius satellite radio are available, which offer high-quality sound just about anywhere in the U.S. News hounds can follow the latest stories on Fox News or CNN with no need to change stations on a cross country trip. The Radio Data System, or RDS, identifies programming on the radio's display, making it easier to find what you want.
The navigation system is a pleasure to use. Its screen is located high up on the center of the dash. (The gauges lives here on previous models, but Nissan moved them to the traditional position for 2007.) The navigation system offers a three-dimensional bird's eye viewing angle as well as the standard straight overhead angle, good for wowing your friends.
The steering wheel of SL and SE models has illuminated controls for the audio system, and there are remote driver's door-mounted switches for models equipped with the power rear windows. Small-items storage is generous, with a large center console and a cubby at the bottom of the center pod.
The SkyView roof features a pair of long, rectangular glass panels that appear from the inside as four glass panels over the rear seats. The glass panels cannot be opened or removed but can be covered by a sliding blind. They help make the rear seating area less claustrophobic by letting passengers see trees, airplanes and mountain tops, adding to the airiness of the spacious cabin. Nissan chose opaque shades to slide over the glass panels, much better for blocking unwanted sunlight than the mesh covers used by some manufacturers. The SkyView package comes with a traditional power glass moonroof between driver and front passenger. It's a neat feature, fun for the kids and when the adults are out for an evening on the town.
When equipped with the central roof console and DVD entertainment system, the second-row seats make you feel like you're seated in a first-class Learjet. A DVD entertainment system with two monitors is available for SE models. DVD controls are located in the headliner, as are rear air-conditioning controls.
Rearward visibility is good using the rearview mirror and cleverly shaped outside mirrors. The available sonar back-up system helps with parking and can help avoid small children, pets or tricycles below the line of vision.
The seats are an unusual design. Far less bulky than normal, they look like airline seats when viewed from the side. While there is plenty of head and leg room, and the SL's standard adjustable pedals make it easy to find a natural seating position, we felt the front seatbacks were too hard.
The second-row captain's chairs are a popular option and, in spite of their spartan appearance, are very comfortable and supportive. The armrests are positioned at a comfortable angle on both sides of each seat. These seats fold flat and flip forward to provide access to the third row, and there is a center walkthrough as well. The flip-and-fold procedure can be done with one hand, but it isn't as easy as in some minivans and the seats don't fold into the floor or tilt far enough forward to provide optimal cargo room.
The third-row seats are among the most comfortable w
Driving Impressions
The Quest is more fun to drive than most minivans. Its suspension is taut, so it's more responsive than all minivans but the Honda Odyssey. Like the Odyssey, it has relatively little lean in corners and nosedive during braking. The steering is crisp, with just the right amount of feedback to let the driver feel connected to the road. Its high seating position offers good all-around visibility.
The Quest handles well. That not surprising once you realize it shares chassis components with the Nissan Maxima and Murano. Granted, the Quest doesn't handle as well as the Maxima, but it feels more stable in corners than a sport-utility vehicle and it handles better than a Toyota Sienna. It is still a very large vehicle, however, so you don't want to toss it into corners like it's a sports car. Also, its size makes parallel parking and backing out of tight spots a chore.
The Quest's 3.5-liter engine is one of the best V6s on the market. It's essentially the same engine used in the 350Z and Infiniti G35. Tuned for the Quest, it's rated at 235 horsepower. Nissan's variable valve-timing system helps optimize efficiency at a wide range of engine speeds. The torque curve is relatively flat and peaks at 240 pound-feet at 4400 rpm. This provides the driver with responsive performance, whether driving around town or cruising on the freeway. The Quest accelerates onto on-ramps with gusto and the five-speed automatic transmission provides quick, smooth downshifts for respectable passing response. The Quest is one of the faster minivans, but its heft prevents the V6 from being as responsive as it is in Nissan's cars. In addition, the throttle can be a bit sensitive at tip-in, so you need a delicate touch when accelerating from a stop, not a great feature in stop-and-go traffic.
Quest rates an EPA-estimated 18/25 mpg City/Highway. It will run on regular unleaded gasoline. The engine controller dials back the ignition timing when it senses regular gas to protect the engine from damage. As a result, the engine delivers less than peak power, but it is still more than adequate for most daily driving. When you want all the available power, just pump in high-octane premium and the engine happily increases its power output.
The Michelin PAX run-flat system is superb and we highly recommend it. Traditional run-flat tires use super-stiff sidewalls and, as a result, suffer from a hard ride. The Michelin PAX system uses a special wheel and a support ring that prevents the tire from deflating or coming off the rim even if all the air is removed and you are driving at 55 mph. Even with what are essentially 19-inch wheels, PAX-equipped Quests maintain a forgiving ride quality with just the right amount of road feel. Changing a tire or waiting for a tow truck can be dangerous, particularly in high-crime areas or in heavy traffic. With the PAX system the driver can continue driving until the tire is replaced.
The Nissan Quest boasts brisk performance and handling that makes it fun to drive. It's like a Maxima in minivan clothing. Its radical exterior styling may not be for everyone, but the cabin is innovative, roomy, and comfortable. Passengers will be comfortable and happy no matter where they're sitting. Opting for the leather upholstery, DVD entertainment system, SkyView roof and other features turns the Quest into first-class travel.
NewCarTestDrive.com correspondent John Rettie reported from Santa Barbara, with Mitch McCullough reporting from Los Angeles and Kirk Bell reporting from Chicago.
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Source: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/educational/hearttruth/downloads/pdf/factsheet-recipes.pdf
3¾ cup cold, fat-free milk
2 small packages (4 serving size) of fat-free, sugar-free instant vanilla pudding and pie-filling mix
32 reduced-fat vanilla wafers
2 medium bananas, sliced
2 cups fat-free, frozen whipped topping, thawed
Mix 3½ cups of the milk with the pudding mixes. Beat the pudding mixture with a wire whisk for 2 minutes, until it is well blended. Let stand for 5 minutes.
Fold 1 cup of the whipped topping into the pudding mix.
Arrange a layer of wafers on the bottom and sides of a 2-quart serving bowl. Drizzle 2 tablespoons of the remaining milk over the wafers. Add a layer of banana slices and top with one-third of the pudding.
Repeat layers, drizzling wafer layer with remaining milk and ending with pudding. Spread the remaining whipped topping over the pudding.
Refrigerate for at least 3 hours before serving.
Yield: 10 servings
Serving size: ¾ cup
Calories: 143
Total fat: 2 g
Saturated fat: 1 g
Cholesterol: 2 mg
Sodium: 329 mg
Total fiber: 1 g
Protein: 4 g
Carbohydrates: 29 g
Potassium 237 mg
*DISCLAIMER*: The information contained in or provided through this site section is intended for general consumer understanding and education only and is not intended to be and is not a substitute for professional advice. Use of this site section and any information contained on or provided through this site section is at your own risk and any information contained on or provided through this site section is provided on an "as is" basis without any representations or warranties.


text:
Attainable speeds
The attainable speeds listed in the product table are guideline values and are valid under certain conditions. For additional information, refer to Attainable speeds.
Sealed bearings
As there is no friction generated at the seal lip, the attainable speed of a sealed bearing is equivalent to a same-sized open bearing.
Effect of lubrication
The values listed for oil-air lubrication should be reduced if other oil lubrication methods are used.
The values listed for grease lubrication are maximum values that can be attained with sealed bearings or open bearings with an appropriate fill of a suitable, high-quality, soft consistency grease. For additional information, contact the SKF application engineering service.
Adjusted bearings
If, in order to increase system rigidity, single bearings are adjusted so that a heavy preload results, the attainable speeds listed in the product tables should be reduced. For additional information, contact the SKF application engineering service.
Bearing sets
If bearing sets with two or more bearings mounted immediately adjacent to each other are used, the attainable speeds listed in the product tables need to be reduced. Values for the maximum rotational speeds in these cases can be obtained by multiplying the guideline value listed in the product tables by a reduction factor (dependent on the bearing design, preload, and the bearing arrangement) listed in table 1.
Spacer rings
If the calculated attainable speed is not sufficient for the application, precision-matched spacer rings in the bearing set (fig. 1) can be used to increase the speed capability.


text:
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text:
Senior Commercial Manager
|Job Title:
|Senior Commercial Manager
|Contract Type:
|City of London, London
|£70000 - £85000 per annum + £5,000 Car Allowance + Bonus + Pens + H/C
|Start Date:
|Contact Name:
|Joe Raymond
|Contact Email:
|Job Published:
|June 11, 2019 13:39
Job Description
Senior Commercial Manager
City of London
Salary: £70,000-£85,000 + £5,000 car allowance + pension + healthcare + bonus
Job Ref: JR677943
A large, multinational Consultancy is seeking a Senior Commercial Manager to deliver a wide range of large valued critical system construction projects such in the Data Centres sector. This position is based in London with occasional travel to the sites.
This is a fantastic opportunity for an experienced Senior Commercial Manager to progress their career in a buoyant, growing sector with a market leading consultancy practice. This position offers training and support as well as a clear progression path to Directorship.
Senior Commercial Manager Responsibilities and Duties
The job of the Senior Commercial Manager will involve the following:
- Be responsible for cost controlling throughout projects from start to completion
- Be a point of contact for clients and coordinate with other consultants
- Dealing with all cost related issues in an effective and timely manner
- Creating the completed cost reports
- Making regular cost checks as well as regular valuations to ensure that it is in line with the cost reports
- Oversee a cost management team who will perform the following:
- Feasibility studies, procurement reports, value management, cost control
- Change control, cost checking, valuation work
- Head up a team which will perform pre and post contract duties on large new builds as well as refurbishments and upgrade works
Senior Commercial Manager Requirements
The ideal Senior Commercial Manager will have:
- Over 10 years' experience working as a Commercial Manager / Cost Manager / Quantity Surveyor on large, technical construction projects in the UK including:
- Data Centres
- Science/Laboratories
- Healthcare
- Airports
- Pharmaceuticals
- Heavy industrial projects
- 2+ years' experience working on data centre projects within the last 5 years
- MRICS and degree qualified in Quantity Surveying / Cost Management
- Experience working for a PQS / Consultancy is ideal, but applicants from a contractor side background with client facing experience as well as experience cost planning, bid work and stakeholder management will also be considered
To apply for the position of Senior Commercial Management, or to find out what other opportunities we can offer in the data centre construction sector, please contact Joe Raymond at Project Resource
Services advertised by Project Resource are that of an Employment Agency/Business. Project Resource is an equality and diversity recruitment agent and employer
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text:
Our Group organises 3000+ Global Conferenceseries Events every year across USA, Europe & Asia with support from 1000 more scientific societies and Publishes 700+ Open Access Journals which contains over 50000 eminent personalities, reputed scientists as editorial board members.
This virus increases the human infection that spreads from domestic animals like goats, camels, sheeps and also when bitten by a tick, handling raw meat products, drinking unpasteurized milk which.AHFV is caused by Alkhurma hemorrhagic fever virus which is a tick-borne virus of the Flavivirus family that is initially isolated in 1995 in Saudi Arabia and is a variant of Kyasanur Forest Disease.No human-to-human transmission of AHF can be documented.
The disease presents initially with non-specific flu-like symptoms, including fever, anorexia, general malaise, diarrhea, and vomiting and in some cases it includes neurologic and hemorrhagic symptoms in severe form. Alkhurma hemorrhagic fever, with fatality rates up to 25%, have been documented and this virus is mostly occurred in Saudi Arabia and Egypt. Later it was spread to other countries like Italy, Australia etc.
Patients receive supportive therapy that balances the patient's fluid and electrolytes, maintaining oxygen status and blood pressure, and treatment for any complications. The case-fatality rate is >30%, which makes AHFV one of the most deadly flaviviruses. Pairwise distance comparison with AHFV prototype strain 1176 sequence showed 0.80% and 0.70% divergence at the nucleotide and amino acid level, respectively.


text:
*1501: HUMANCENTiPAD* Post-Air Discussion
Moderator: Big-Will
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2011 6:45 am
Re: *1501: HUMANCENTiPAD* Post-Air Discussion
ShaneHaughey wrote:ClassyTie wrote:Not to be mean but... Why does everyone who reviews a south park episode do it in present tense? It's like you are making a log. (This is not just on the forum, I have seen it on another site with another review). It's not like a recording, the post is still there before you post it, it doesn't need to be like a log.
Alright, I'm finding this funny... Now I'm not... This is stupid... Commercial... This is hilarious...ly bad... What's wrong with you south park? You suck now... Wait... you guys are hilarious... I am not caring for this joke... Now I am...
Not trying to single anyone out on this topic, it's for many people on many episodes.
On my first viewing, I type the post as I watch the episode. I hit post the second it hits commercial. Others do the same.
Okay. It's just weird reading it after viewing it. But the worst I've seen was not on the forum. It was some reviewer reviewing It's a Jersey Thing. It was a really long review, and he talked like this: I hope that they do this joke with other south park episodes... (later) ... and I was right! They are now doing the joke with a south park episodes. ... And now Ms. Brofloski reveals that 'gasp,' she's from Jersey. This will be funny.
But yeah, it's just sort of a pet peeve. Again, I don't mean just you guys, I just mean in general. But commenting on the evolution of a joke in the same post is a little bit of a stretch.
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2011 3:40 am
Re: *1501: HUMANCENTiPAD* Post-Air Discussion
I've moved on from South Park a while ago and am no longer a big fan anymore, but I still watch and enjoy it. But if this is the quality that SP strives for nowadays then I don't know if I can even do that...
- Posts: 0
- Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2011 3:03 am
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:27 am
Re: *1501: HUMANCENTiPAD* Post-Air Discussion
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2010 3:55 am
Re: *1501: HUMANCENTiPAD* Post-Air Discussion
solid 9/10!
I'm f***ing stoked for this season!
Re: *1501: HUMANCENTiPAD* Post-Air Discussion
Niels0827 wrote:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v426/ ... 897901.png
Seriously, nobody likes you. Fuck off.
https://41.media.tumblr.com/b9aad765e3c ... o1_500.png
- Posts: 11192
- Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2004 8:36 pm
Re: *1501: HUMANCENTiPAD* Post-Air Discussion
DuelGundam2099 wrote:To sum up the main plot of this episode: How NOT to motivate your children on learning to read. The Cartman story was also funny, although I'm not sure to call him getting struck by lightning and crying over it poetic justice or over the top.
if you can deal with the Human Centipede or The Quickening, you can deal with that.
Re: *1501: HUMANCENTiPAD* Post-Air Discussion
Stan gets into a twisted porno fiasco after winning a trip to Scotland; meanwhile, Cartman tries to destroy the country itself
Later Episode: August Underground More Dumb
Kyle and Stan get kidnapped by a trio of murderers after Cartman and Kenny try to get back their money from a group of idiots that video themselves stealing money
Season Finale: E-Fraiser-Head
Jerald Brofloski takes the boys to find the cast of Fraiser to make them do a reunion special; once found, however... The cast reveals to be very dark when people see what Fraiser is really made of
Disturbing film references.
- Posts: 68
- Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2010 3:45 pm
Re: *1501: HUMANCENTiPAD* Post-Air Discussion
Although I knew it was coming from the preview, it was still a bit unbearable to watch.
The sad thing is, It had potential. It had quite a few clever running jokes, but it was a mistake to try and parody The Human Centipede. It was gross, and not in the typical South Park funny way.
But I'm not terribly upset. Matt and trey have just gotten back from New York where they've been working for months on The Book of Mormon. They're probably very tired and creatively drained. I just hope they can get their groove back and get some better episodes out in this run.
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:40 am
Re: *1501: HUMANCENTiPAD* Post-Air Discussion
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2011 10:40 pm
Re: *1501: HUMANCENTiPAD* Post-Air Discussion
Re: *1501: HUMANCENTiPAD* Post-Air Discussion
Awesome opening episode to what will hopefully be an awesome season.
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2011 9:46 pm
Re: *1501: HUMANCENTiPAD* Post-Air Discussion
I think a lot of the humour was more subtle than some other shows. If you've been following the whole drama thing with Agreements and Apple's whole thing where one of their employees lost the iPhone prototype, this episode's probably more funny.
My favourite line:
Cartman: AND it sh*ts in Kyle's mouth?
Also, Liane grew a pair. That was amazing. XD I feel so bad for her sometimes... then I remember that she's the one that made Cartman what he is, and I feel that she's reaping what she's sown. If only she'd stuck with Caesar's methods.
I think, though, that the very last scenes with God smiting Cartman made the episode for me.
Not my favourite ep ever, but I'll definitely watch it again!
- Posts: 78
- Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2007 10:13 pm
Re: *1501: HUMANCENTiPAD* Post-Air Discussion
After watching this episode, I want to actually read the sh*t before agreeing to it. LOL! I know most of you people don't read all of that before agreeing. I thought it was great that South Park was taking the piss out of Apple. I'm an Apple user and I thought it was super funny. I cannot wait to watch this episode uncensored.
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