Alas  !  if  I  had  only  made  up  my  mind
before  !  How  many  years  have  gone  by,
and  how  much  strength  have  I  lost !  How
much  distress  have  I  inflicted  on  Thy  heart  !
And  I  spoke  to  Thee  with  my  lips,  and  used
to  receive  Thee  in  Holy  Communion  without
knowing  Thee,  apart  from  whom  one  can
neither  will  nor  live  !

And  I  did  not  know  Thee,  because  I
neither  uplifted  nor  steeped  my  mind  in
prayer.  Thy  features  are  only  to  be  dis
cerned  in  the  light  of  heaven.
Oh,  the  confidence  of  prayer  addressed  to
the  loving-kindness  of  One  who  is  omnipo
tent  ;  the  humility  of  prayer  that  comes  from
one  like  myself ;  oh,  let  me  persevere  in  prayer,
despite  the  despair  of  feeling  cold  !  Thus
shall  I  find  salvation  !


Contrition  51

O  Jesus,  the  grace  that  I  beg  of  Thee  above
all  others,  the  grace  of  graces,  is  the  grace  to
pray  without  ceasing.  I  know  that  prayer
is  not  essentially  gladness  or  sweetness  ;  it
is  far  more  than  that,  it  is  our  necessary  help,
the  means  par  excellence ;  the  means  of
coming  back,  the  means  of  perseverance,  the
means  of  perfect  holiness ; — the  normal
means  in  the  supernatural  order  in  which
nothing  is  due  to  us  ;— the  means,  designed
by  our  heavenly  Father,  to  establish  an
interchange  between  our  universal  neediness
and  His  inexhaustible  riches.  Grant  that  in
perpetual  prayer,  the  handmaid  of  pity  and
of  supreme  grandeur,  I  may  have  unshaken
hope.
