QUEEfT VICTORIA A OSBMAN COLONEL. By a recent cablegram I has beSTaiscovered, and an <>£";»?_Fg£ In one of the hitherto fessioos for the gentler sex. the last fewyearshavebeenadmlttedto the practice of &wand medicine, cognised as expert operators <* "".•h* graph, the typewriters, the telephone, tfte gomertie mop, and a host of other «§g»gjs inventionsofinealculable vai*?. f** W go on to the Stock Exchange, or the County Council, or into gaol, the Divorce Court, or the nursery; }***£?££ meet an anxious father inquiring *£5j JS shall let hlsdaughter go into. I JJ meanslethergolnto matrimony. Women c rights have nikde great etridee wj"™Jgf gested, with considerable force and the aid of » weU-developed umbrella, that toe correct time was just as essential toladles as to the other ak, that eentieman took the hint, and evolved the short-winding ladies' watch which has ever been seen, and which are now obtain able at the New Zealand Hardware Com pany's warehouse, in Cumberland street. This, however, is a digression. _.«_ A The opening to which attentioni is eaUed is the Army, her Gracious Majesty Queen Vie having just been elected Cotonel of the Prussian First Dragoon Guards. That this intelligence will cause the battte scarred old veterans of Jena and Ansterhtz to blush right down to their spurs no one will doubt, but that Iβ nothing to the effect that it will have upon the first hostile French regiment who are called upon to meet them In mortal combat. Fancy the evolutions of the Prussian crack corf a ledbyaiadyin the smart white uniform of the Dra«oon Guards. No Frenchman would be able to Btand such a sight for a moment. No doubt her Majesty relies on " the divinity which doth hedge a king" (extended by courtesy for this occasion) as an efficient protection from Maxim bullets, short rations, and the other thousand and one inconveniences of a campaign. The same cablegram that advised the appointment also notifies that the fcm- Sbror of Germany, afrer "vlewtoe: the English troops, remarked to the i>ufe e of Cambridge " that the British navy and the German army were without equal in the world." I wonder how the fine old duke—seventy years a soldier, man and boy, sir—writhed under this insult, or whether be flung his boot at the Imperial head! '

SPORTING NOTES.
