ADYICE FOR KERNEL JOHNSON.
Brother Gardner Expresses a Con
tempt for Original Theories.
. Detroit Free Press.
“Am Kurnel Paradox Johnson ia
de hall dis evenin’?" blandly inquired
Brother Gardner, as the regular
weekly meeting opened on the forty
seventh degree in due and regular
shape.
The “Kurnel” arose. Ho was there.
Some time ago he invented the theory
that Canada thistles could be cultivat
ed to bear mustard plasters, and his
countenance betrayed the fact that he
expected to be patted on the back, and
ordered to take the stool of honor, un
der the bear traps.
“Kurnel Johnson will please step
dis way,” continued the president,
and the kurnel advanced to the front,
bestowing a look of three ply contempt
on Hon. Erastus Furlong, as he passed
him.
“Brudder Johnson,” said the presi
dent, as the victim stood before him,
with folded arms, “I want to spoke to
you in de plainest English language.
I learn dat you have invented a the
ory?"
“Yes, sah.”
“It has bin a long time workin’ to a
climax.”
“ ’Bout a y’ar, sah.”
“I thought so. It was ’bout a y’ar
ago dat I noticed you quit work, an’
began to sot around on de curbstone.
