But,  no — the  rank  frauds  of  the  Memphian
priesthood  had  dispelled  all  my  trust  in
the  promises  of  religion.  My  heart  iuid
again  relapsed  into  its  gloom  of  scepticism,
and,  to  the  word  of  "  Life,"  the  only  an-
swer it  sent  back  was,  "  Death  ! "

Impatient,  however,  to  jiossess  myself  of
the  elements  of  a  faith,  on  which, — whatever
it  might  promise  for  hereafter,  —  I  felt  that
my   happiness    here   depended,    I    turned
over   the  pages  with    an  earnestness   and


'260  THE    EPICUREAN.
avidity,  such  as  never  even  the  most  fa-
vourite of  my  studies  had  awakened  in  me.
Though,  Uke  all,  who  seek  but  the  surface
of  learning,  I  flew  desultorily  over  the
leaves,  lighting  only  on  the  more  promi-
nent and  shining  points,  I  yet  found
myself,  even  in  this  undisciplined  career,
arrested,  at  every  page,  by  the  awful,  the
supernatural  sublimity,  the  alternate  me-
lancholy and  grandeur  of  the  images  that
crowded  upon  me.
I  had,  till  now,  known  the  Hebrew
theology  but  through  the  jilatonising  re-
finements of  Philo  ;  —  as,  in  like  manner,
for  my  knowledge  of  the  Christian  doc-
trine I  was  indebted  to  my  brother  Epi-
cureans, Lucian  and  Celsus.  Little,
therefore,  was  I  prepared  for  the  simple
majest}',  the  high  tone  of  inspiration,  —
the  poetry,  in  short,  of  heaven  that
breathed  throughout  these  oracles.  Could
admiration  have  kindled  faith,  I  should,
that  night,  have  been  a  believer ;  so  ele-
vated,  so    awed   was    my   imagination  by


THE    EPICUREAN.  261

that  woiulerful  book,  —  its  waniiiiirs  of
wo,  its  imnouncenients  of  glory,  and  its
unrivalled  strains  of  adoration  and  sorrow.
