At  first  it  was  entirely  a  battle  with  fear  that
kept  me,  rigid  and  silent,  on  my  knees.  I  knew
that  unless  I  overcame  the  extremity  of  my
nervous  terror,  I  should  lose  my  mind.  If  I
went  out  of  my  room  at  all,  it  would  be  to  go
raving  and  shrieking  down  the  hall  and  to
alarm  the  house.  Self-control  was  possible  only
if  I  should  stay  here  and  conquer  the  evil
spirit  of  "The  Pines  "  —  conquer  its  effect  upon
my  own  steadiness  and  self-respect.  I  would
not  repeat  the  grotesque  tragi-comedy  of  Jane
and  Delia  and  Annie,  and  present  myself,  gasp
ing  and  wild-eyed,  to  Mrs.  Brane  demanding
my  dismissal  on  the  spot.  Neither  would  I  be
like  the  other  three  housekeepers.  Even  in  that
moment  of  prostration  I  am  glad  to  say  that  I
was  not  utterly  a  victim;  the  demon  that  had


80  The  Red  Lady

possessed  the  house  had  to  a  certain  extent  al
ready  met  its  match  in  me.
