A New Trade. — Judge (to witness) : ' Then what ate you by trade V Witnesi (proudly) : 'lama lophiit, your honor.' Judge: ♦ What aooaenae ; I thought you were an upholitererV Witoeea : • No, yo«r boner, Uait ways not exaotly ; my ipeoiality n eofai !' Great Authoc\Twi(e : 'What are you writing, Cbarlei 1 )' Great Author: 'Ad enay on the importance of a thorough knowledge of the English language.' Great Author't Wife : * You don't seem to ba getting on very fait with it.' Great Author : ' No, I'm ituok. I oau't lemamber how to hj ell " em bar raw." '

Old L%dy (to grocer'i boy) : • Don't you- kcow that it in rery rude to whittle when dealing with a lady V Boy : ( That't what (he gor'nor told me to do, mam.' • Told you to whielle V •Yes'm. lit said if we erer iold you aoythlog we'd have to whittle for the money, 1

A iign on an American railroad reatauraut readi : ' Dinner readj ! You don't hare to wait ! We have mea hired to do that !' A lady contributor, who mi called to account for writing on both udei of her paper, retorted, * Well, and don't you print on both aidei of yonri V

MISCELLANEOUS.
