Counsel (examining witness): ' You say vou saw the shots fired ?' Witness: ■ Yes, sir.' ' How near were you to the scene of the affray'?' ' When the first shot was fired I was about ten feet from the shooter.' ' Ten feet. Well, now, tell the court where ycu were when the second shot was fired ?' ' I didn't measure the distance.' ' Speaking approximately, how far should you say ?' ' Well, it approximated to half a mile.'

IS JUSTICE BLIND ? A man was accused of having stolen a pair of trousers. There were several witnesses, but the evidence was rather meagre, and so the accused was acquitted. He was told that he could go, but he remained. His lawyer, to whose success ful defence he mainly owed his liberty, hinted to him again that he was free to depart, but still he stayed. There being no more cases to be heard, the court was getting empty, when the lawyer, growing impatient, asked, with some asperity, why he didn't go. The injured, innocent man whispered in his ear :

• The fact is, sir, I did not like to move till the witnesses had left the court.' 'Why so V ' Because, sir, I have got the trousers on that I stole.'

NOT BEALISM. Vouijg Author: ' Would you call my novel realism or romance :' Friend: ' What does the heroine say when she accepts the hero?' Voung Author: 'Oh, she says. 'Yes, dear George, we will tread life's path together, one in heart and purpose, hear ing each other's burdens, sharing each otlicr's grief, doubling each '

Friend: ' Oh, that's romance of the first water. A rial girl would no more think of making a speech on such an occasion than of singing a song, or dancing the Highland Fling.'

SMART, INDEED! 1 Shure, and it's too hot for an over coat entirely!' exclaimed 0 Flaherty. ' Begorra! I'll take mine to the railway station, and leave it in the cloak-room. It will only cost tuppence.' • Hoot, mon ! dinua be so extravagant,' said MacPherson. ' Coom wi me, and we 11 taKe it to the pawnbroker's and pledge it for a shillun'; that'll be a bav\ bee for the ticket, and another for interest, and you'll save twa bawbees, dinua ye ken, mon '■'

JUST TO SKTTLK HIM. 