_ A Western editor's statement, " We are /living at this moment under absolute despot, ism,"' is attributed by his contemporaries to the fact of bis having lately been married. Rcaso.v ron Leuinixg. — Swift said the mison a certain university was a learned place was that most persons took some learn ing there, and few brought any away with them, so it accumulated. "My brudJers," said a waggish coloured man to a crowd, "in all affliction, iv all on your troubles, dar is one place you can always find sympathy." " Whar ? whar?" shouted several. "In de dictionary," lie replied, rol ling his eyes skyward. Ak" Axericax correspondent who reads the reports of all the banquets complains-that so much is said about '• the memory of Washing ton," and inquiries whether Washington, had a better memory than anybody else, that it should be so generally remarked upon. Wn never knew a widower who, when he nyirried again, did not do it for the sake of his " dear children." We never knew a man publish his first book but he did it at the entreaty of friends. We never knew a man send his portrait to the Exhibition, hut he did it to oblige tbe .irtisr. " Carmine, you know, would have il, ! ;) Fkanklist Ciuticised. — Benjamin Frank lin has left on record that " Time is an herb that cures all diseases." Old Mrs. Podn says that Franklin didn't know much about herbs, and "was not a good speller, if he was a printer." " She has raised plenty of the herb," .*he says, "and T-h-y-m c is tbe cor rect way to spell it "—but she doesn't believe it will cure all diseases. Shortening a Te&vgram.— A gentleman took the following telegram to a telegraph office :— "Mrs. Brown, Liverpool Street. — I announce with grief the du.ith oi uncle James. Come quickly to read will. I believe we are his heirs.— John Black." The clerk, having counted the words, said, " There are two words too many, sir." "All right, cut out ' with grief ' " was the reply. 