At a military tribunal in the bor
der district the other day one mem
ber asked the applicant, a shepherd,
if he knew of any reason why his
work should not be undertaken by a
woman.
"A woman once tried It," replied
the applicant, "and she made a mess
of it."
"Who was she?" Inquired the
chairman.
"Bo-I'eep," answered the shepherd.
"MlJX-i tilMI'-Ul-rrY.-
"f wish to be lovad for myself
alone." said tha heiress.
"H.g-h'y sommendabla, any dear.
Put hoar ould yau ssnceal your iden.
-"t'h, 2 f treuld ga aomewnere
and live siiupit under an assumed
nam, with Just my maid and a motor
car, o nobMiiy would saspect t---my
faitvr v-'aa worth more t"
flililLun tr (." Birmingham. .xfce.
Herald.
Ho sa tauft-. has baas) &ai4 amut
naraeeds sines hay saa baea aeiUaj
-t a lua.
Crimsonbeak Why do yon arways
carry that same crimson dollar?
Yeast Oh, that's my lucky dol
lar. "I can't sea how It's luoky; It never
bought you anything yet?"
"Perhitp not: but Isn't It lucky
for me because you never borrowed
it?" Vonkera Statesman.
ANOTHER DEFDrraON.
Tommy What is an optimist?
Tommy's Pop As optimist, my
son, is a person who not only hopes
for the best, but actually expects to
get it. Philadelphia Record.
EE WOJnER.EI.
Mrs. Sparks (dejectedly) Our
cook is going to leave, Frank. She
says the kitchenette isn't large enough
to turn around jn.
Mr. Sparks By George! I wonder
if she'll stay If I install a turntable.
Buffalo Express.
EVD OF THE DREAM.
"It looks as if Jones is better satis
fied with his wife."
"Yes. he is. You see, he went back
home on a visit and saw the girl he
has been dreaming of for the past
twenty years." Life.
OLJ CARS IX EXGIiAVD.
