My gettin’ tho better of my wife’s
father i« one of the richest things on
record. I’ll tell you how it was.—
You must know that ho is monstrous
stingy. Tho complain! seems lo run
in the family, and everybody round
our parts used to notico that he nev
er by any chance asked anybody to
dine with him. So one day, jist for
a chunk of fun, I said to a friend of
mine, Jeddy—“l’ll bet you a pen
n’orth of shoestrings against a row
of pins, that I get old Ben Merkins,
that's my wife’s father, to ask mo to
dinner.”
“Yoon get out,” said Jeddy ; “why
yeou might ns gwoll try to coax a
cat into a showorbatb, or get moon
beams out of coweumbcrs.”
“Well,” said f, “I’m going to try.”
And try I did, and I’ll toll yeou
how 1 went to work.
Jist as old Bon was billin’down to
dinner, at 1 o’clock, I rushed up to
tho house, a* a high-pressure pace,
rod-hot in the face, with my coat
tails in tho air, my eyes rollin’about
like billiard balls in convulsions.—
Kut-tut—ditig-a-iing-aliDg. I kicked
up an awful rumpus, and in a flash
out camo old berf himself. I had
struck tho right minit. 110 had a
napkin under his chin, and a carv
ing knife in his hand. I smelt tho
tho dinner as ho opened tho door.
