The  hard-boiled  poses  in  photograph,

The  groom  still  wearing  his  wedding  tie —
And  I've  missed  of  too  many  jokes  by  half!

These  are  the  bubbles  I  gayly  quaff

With  the  rank  conceit  of  the  new-born  fly —
These  are  the  things  that  make  me  laugh!

For,  Heaven  help  me!  I  needs  must  chaff,

And  people  will  tickle  me  till  I  die —
And  I've  missed  of  too  many  jokes  by  half!

So  write  me  down  in  my  epitaph
As  one  too  fond  of  his  health  to  cry —
These  are  the  things  that  make  me  laugh.
And  I've  missed  of  too  many  jokes  by  half!

Gelett  Burgess,


HOW  TO  EAT  WATERMELONS

When  you  slice  a  Qeorgy  melon  you  mus'  know  what  you
is  at
An'  look  out  how  de  knife  is  gwine  in.
Put  one-half  on  dis  side  er  you^le  yuther  half  on  dat,
En'  den  you  gits  betwixt  'em,  en  begin!
Oh,  melons!

Honey  good  ter  see;
But  we'en  it  comes  ter  sweetness,
De  melon  make  fer  me!


74  Banter

£n  den  you  puts  yo'  knife  up,  en  you  sorter  licks  de  blade,

En  never  stop  fer  say  in'  any  grace;
But  cat  on  tell  you  satisfy — roll  over  in  de  shade,
En  slce|;  ontell  de  sun  shine  in  yo'  face!
Oh,  melons  I

Honey  good  ter  see;
But  Wen  it  comes  ter  sweetness,
De  melon  make  fer  met

Frank  Libby  Stanton,


A  VAGUE  STORY

Perchance  it  was  her  eyes  of  blue,

Her  cheeks  that  might  the  rose  have  shamed.
Her  figure  in  proportion  true

To  all  the  rules  by  artists  framed;
Perhaps  it  was  her  mental  worth

That  made  her  lover  love  her  so.
Perhaps  her  name,  or  wealth,  or  birth —

I  cannot  tell — I  do  not  know.
