Two travellers met on the deck of an ocea 3 steamer one calm morning, after several days of very rough weather. ' Well, I declare, Mr Blank,' said Mr Plank, ' you look many years older than when I saw you last!' 'No won der, Mr Plank,' said Mr Blank, ' I have had several berth-days lately.' Practical G-irl: ' You wish me to marry you, to go to.the,.far West to struggle for existence on a timber claim. Do you not fear that when poverty comes in at the door love will go out at the window?' Ardent Suitor : ' No, indeed. We'll live in a dug-out, and there won't be any window.'

' I can't get up early,' said a poor victim to his doctor. ' Oh, yes, you can.' was the reply, ' if you will only follow my advice. Wh,at is your hour of rising ?"'•"' ' Well, got up half an hour later every day, and in the course of a month you will find yourself up at four in the morning.' In 1871 the, deposedFren,ch Empero)?j visit ing' the International Exhibition at South was much interested by the card printing machine. The person in charge printed on a card ' L'Empereur N-jpoleon,' an t showed it to him. His Maj -sty laugh ing'y observed, ' Ex,' and passed on.
