The stingy man goes to bed early to
save lights, and gets up early because
he has heard it said that the early bird
catches the early- worm. He tells his wife
that she is never so beautiful as when
she wears calico dresses, and a woman
would wear straw matting if she thought
she looked pretty in it. He hates silk,
and he admires simplicity.
He walks carefully, as if he was afraid
of laying out too much energy if he took a
good solid stride. He buttons his coat
tight, and feels often iu his pockets. His
umbrella always has at least one rib
broken. He never whistles; he might
spend some wind in so doing. He has his
hat dyed and pressed. He walks every
where, because walking is healthy. And
his wife must walk, too. because women
generally get too little exercise. Just as
if the exercise of taking care of a family
of half a dozen, and doing it upon half the
means required, were not enough exercise,
mental and physical, for any woman who
has the dyspepsia, and the neuralgia, and
the nervous headache, and half a dozen
other diseases which most hard-worked
women have to contend with.
The stingy man goes to a church where
the pews are free. He likes a broad view
of things, he says. He likes the place
where the rich and the poor fare alike.
He doesn't like thes e churches where all
the big-bugs sit in pews on tbe renter
aisles, just as if their religon and the
heavenly blessing came down in that spot
in full force, while all the Door people hart
to sit tinder the outskirts of the cloud, and
catcli what stray drops they could get.
