A burglary. that the police have said not a word about, took place not five minutes' walk from New town on Tues day night last Mrs Badgers he-aid him and told her sleeping spouse to get up and slay him He did not do so. however In the morning, much to his dismay he found his pockets empt\ or cash He admitted to his wife that there must have been a burglar around. Why didn't \ou get up and slay him as I told jou?" she queried 'Well, my dear if I had slain the thief I d be a widow er," and she guiltih emptied all the- moiipv back into his pocket t * * The service at a suburban chuicli iv* interrupted a Sunday or two ago b\ the stiange conduct of a tall, nice-look ing mezzo-soprano a new-comer, who had been welcomed to the choir with open arms, because of her beautiful voice The young; lady was seen to stop shoit in the' middle of the hymn with hei mouth wide open, and an expression of mute agony in her eyes- She signal led appealmgh. and people stopped singing; to stare at her. so that in les<= than a minute's time she was the cyno suie of all eyes, and a great silence ha rl fallen upon 'the startled congregation. * * * The handsome songstress signalled again pointing helplessly towards he wide-open mouth, and making piteous noises in he* throat, and at last an idea seized the clergyman and he went to hen rescue. It was all very simple The singer wore a full set of false teeth hinged at the back, and the hinges had caught in some way whilst her mouth was wide open to make way for the toi> note and the\ refused to work. * * * The Pollaxdian-Hawtrey cricket match on }{ondav last wa& productive of good tun, and some interesting little side shows One that particularly struck the peregrinating penman was enacted m a quiet corner of the field. One of Pollard's prettiest demoiselles and a Wellington friend of artistic propensi ties letired to have a little cricket all on their own " He bowled lobs, and she batted with grace and vigour. Soon the Wellington \ oungsters left the mere mule cricket to see the beauteous wil low-wielder and her knight errant and lob bowler pla\ the game. 