Before  this  invitation  is  complied  with,  however,  the
candidate  for  matrimonial  honors  inquires,  is  the  par-
son at  home?  His  interlocutor  responds  that  he  is
that  person.  Whereupon  the  young  man  annomicea,
"  You  see,  this  young  woman  and  me  have  come  here
to  git  married;  kin  you  do  it?"

"Well,  I  reckon."

"Well,  we're  in  a  great  hurry,  kin  you  do  it
quick?"

"Certainly."

The  ceremony  is  proceeded  with  as  regularly  as  if
it  were  in  a  cathedral.  The  young  people's  hands
are  joined,  and  the  good  man's  benediction  is  given
as  he  pronounces  them  man  and  wife.  The  new  hus-
band asks,

"Is  that  all,  parson?"


A.   BACKWOODS   MARRIAGE.  47

"That's  all  I  can  do  for  yon."

Straightening  to  his  full  height  with  great  dignity,
the  yonng  man  inquires,

"Well,  parson,  what's  the  damage?"

Parsons  are  modest  men.  With  a  blush  and  a
stammer,  our  clerical  friend  intimates  that  the  less
said  upon  that  subject  the  better.
"  Oh,  no,  parson,"  responds  the  young  backwoods-
man. "  I  wish  you  to  understand  that  I  don't  choose
to  begin  life  on  tick."

Simple  folk  that  they  were,  they  held  that  a  wife
who  was  not  worth  paying  the  parson  for,  was  not
worth  having.  Thus  urged,  the  clergyman  signi-
fies,

"Anything  that  is  pleasant  to  yon  is  agreeable
to  me."

Whereupon  the  young  husband  requests  one  of  his
friends  "  to  fetch  it  in  oiF  the  horse's  neck."

Doubtless,  the  wisest  of  you,  if  you  have  never
lived  upon  the  frontier,  would  be  puzzled  to  tell
what  that  is  on  the  horse's  neck.  It  turns  out  to  be
a  com-shuch  horse-collar.  This  is  the  parson's  fee,
and  right  glad  he  is  to  get  it.
