Gourmet: “ What is the steak pudding like to-day ?” Waiter : “ Well, sir, it’s been very good all the week, sir.” Pater: “Tom, Tom!—This’ll never do! Past eleven o’clock! — and you’ve been in bed fifteen hours out o’ the twenty-four.” Tom: “ But it’s cheap, Gov’nor—’ costs nothing, WhVas directly a fellow’s up and dressed, expenses begin!” Literary Lodger (to new Servant): “ Oh! you ore the new servant ; and what might your name be?” Servant: “’Anner, sir.” Literary Lodger : “ Hsnnah, or Anna?” Servant: “ ’Taint neither, s : r: it’s ’Anner with two hc'lches Sympathetic Friend (to Sensitive Tenor) : “ What’s the matter, old man ? Cold ? S.T,: “ Yes, beastly sore throat.” S. F,: “ Tut, tut, tut! Been standing in a draught ? Wet, feet ?” S.T.: “No dear boy, I can’t afford to do that sort of thing. I think it must be from smoking damp tobacco.” In a recent action for damages against the owner of a dog said to be mad, the witnesses were mostly rural labourers, and the learned gentlemen of the law had no little difficulty in eliciting evidence from them. One wit* ness, in particular, annoyed counsel for de fendant by his obtuseness. “Did you con sider the dog rabid?” at length asked the learned lawyer, abruptly. “ rabbit!,” echoed the rustic, “he wis nae rabbit. He wis jist a clean daft doug, ye gowk.” “ Husband in ?” asked the gas collector, cheerfully. “ No,” answered the woman, “ho isn’t home.” “ Expecting him soon ?” asked the collector. “Well,” the woman replied thoughtfully, “I don’t know exactly ; I’ve been looking for him for seventeen years, and he hasn’t shown up yet. You travel round a good deal, and if you see a man who looks as though he’d make a prelty good husband, tell him I’m still a-waitin’, and send him along. How’s your wife?” A Catastrophe.—“ A Reuter’s telegram from Bombay, dated June 6th,” read out Miss Ramsbottom to her parent, “ announces that the Monsoon has burst !”—" Well, I call it disgustin,’ my dear, so far away from his kingdom, too,” was the severe comment; “ and I’ve always understood as them Japanese was such little eaters!” "1 _____________

At the R.M. Court this morning, before J. 8. 