By degrees, I grew to doubt the dictates c^ so many famous
people, and retained my own sentiments in silence. A certain
lady of my friends, to whom I had at first disclosed too much,
insisted always on interfering with my business. Of her too I
was obliged to rid myself; I at last firmly told her, that she
might spare herself this labor, as I did not need her counsel ;
that I knew my Grod, and would have no guide but him. She
was greatly ofiended ; I believe she never quite forgave me.
Such determination, to withdraw from the advices and the
influence of my friends, in spiritual matters, produced the con-
sequence, that also in my temporal afiairs I gained sufficient
courage to obey my own persuasions. But for the assistance
of my fdthful invisible Leader, I could not have prospered here.
I am still gratefuUy astonished at his wise and h&ppy guidance.
No one knew how matters stood with me ; even I myself did
not know.
The thing, the wicked and inexplicable thing, which separates
ns &om the Being to whom we owe our life, and in whom all
that deserves the name of life must find its nourishment; the
thing which we call Sin, I yet knew nothing of.
. In my intercourse with my invisible Friend, I felt the sweetest
enjoyment of all my powers. My desire of constantly enjoying
this felicity was so predominant, that I abandoned without hesi-
tation whatever marred our intercourse ; and here experience
was my best teacher. But it was with me as with sick persons,
who have no medicine, and try to help themselves by diet.
Something is accomplished, but far from enough.
