THERE used to be — perhaps still exists — a paper called the "Brit ish Workman." On the cover was a picture of a smug, sleek, wooden person, with a painfully clean face, complacently vacuous, and a bag of tools on its shoulder. There was not a line of care on "ts placid imbecile coun tenance, and it had a look of insuffer able sobriety. This was the British workman idealised by the nonconformist press. Even as a boy, I hated him, and had a strong suspicion that if his bag was searched it would be found to contain a jemmy and a picklock. Years afterwards, I saw in London "Punch" a series of drawings illustrating the methods of the same British workman. And, now I have in my house the Aus tralian workman. Between the two types there is little to choose. The day before yesterday, two Austra lian workmen came to fix three jets of gas in my house. They seemed to have about 118 different implements. Seve ral sorts of saws, tomahawks, hammers, jackscrews, gimlets, and so forth. They came upstairs, and bored a hole in the wall of one of the rooms. One hole in one wall. And. they left a litter of plaster and wall-paper inches deep all over the floor. This seemed to please them, and they chatted amicably over the wreck for a quarter of an hour. Then one said, "I don't think she's quite plumb. Bill (hence plumber, I sup pose). Better nut her a foot the other side." They closed the hole in the wall, and made another one. This effort ex hausted them for the time, and they smoked and rested themselves. Then, they went into another room, and saw ed off the corner of a wooden mantel piece, which they seemed to think might be in the way of the gas-pipe. There was a lot of sawdust, and it seemed to please them. They were reminiscent for a while, and talked about girls. Then the senior said, "Bill we've cut off the wroiLP- end of that blanky man tel-piece." Bill nodded indifferently, and went to work to cut off the other end. More sawdust. Lunch-time. They sat in the dining-room, eating sandwiches out of pieces of paper, and drinking cold tea. An hour passed by. An hour and a half. 