Re "teetotal cows" alluded to in last week’s “ Echoes,” “ Gambrinus ” writes me as follows :

At a banquet in the North of England a teetotal mayor presided. He drank milk, but a wag put a stiff dose of rum in it. The mayor drank the last drop, repeated smacked his lips and exclaimed, “ Lord, what a coo !” Another teetotal yarn. In Sydney a man entered a bar with a large piece of ribbon conspicu ously displayed on his noble chest and ordered a long beer. The barmaid smiled and drew the attention of the bystanders to the backslider. He took a parcel out of his pocket and solemnly emptied a powder into the beer. “ What are you doing," she said. “ This is ginger—l never drink anything stronger than ginger-beer.”

A “little war "speedily and satisfactorily ended is the Ashanteo campaign. Poor King Prempeh has wilted before Tommy Atkina and his machine guns without even the semblance of a struggle. So much the better for himself, and vastly much the better for Tommy, for a prolonged cam paign in the fever-stricken country inland of tho Gulf of Guinea isn’t all " beer and skittles,” not by a very long way. Prince Henry of Battenburg, the German gentle man of dubious descent and scant purse, who mairied Princess Beatrice and found it necessary to exhibit a belated military enthusiasm in this Ashantee business, was repotted seriously ill from fever in last week’s cables. For some days/ however, there has been no news of him. For the sake of his English wife—and for his own sake, for he beats the reputation of being a thoroughly good fellow, although he is a Gorman hanger-on to English Royal skirts —I trust he is pulling round. It is the pleasant little way of the cable compiler to send sensational messages about more or less celebrated personages, and then sud denly to be as dumb as the Sphynx con cerning their fate, and at time of writing (Tuesday morning) Her Majesty’s son-in law may be dead or convalescent for all we know. Ido so heartily admire the way in which the cableman does his work. (The above ia “rote garkastik,” as poor old Artemua Ward used to say.)

Compliments and congratulations to Mr Seddon over the Wairarapa Lake business. 