Into  the  Table  Rock  House  next

Poor  John  is  soon  betrayed,
And  there  they  put  him  through  as  if

The  devil  lent  his  aid;
They  show  him  Indian  relics  rich

And,  believe  me,  they  were  raw;
John  buys  a  lot  of  things  for  which

He  does  not  care  a  straw.
John  begs  the  driver  to  depart

Ere  he  be  ruined  quite.
But  ere  a  dozen  rods  are  made

He*s  doomed  to  re-alight.
And  now  the  **  Museum  "  minions

Around  him  quickly  swarm,
And  ere  he*s  well  upon  his  feet

He's  dragged  in  by  the  arm.
759


1871

Barlow


Niagara  Falls

They  wrap  him  up  in  oilcloth  robes

Ere  he  be  well  aware,
And  o*er  the  street  they  hurry  him

To  take  him  down  the  stair;
John  grabbed  the  railing  and  in  words

By  desperation  lent,
Demanded  of  his  captors  grim

What  they  in  thunder  meant?

They  told  him  they  were  taking  him

Behind  the  waterfall.
And  that  the  way  was  easy  and

Not  dangerous  at  all.
Still  hanging  on  he  asked  how  much

For  this  he*d  have  to  pay;
"  Just  give  the  guide  whate'er  you  wish.
That  is  the  gen*ral  way.**

So  John  let  go  and  followed  them

Along  the  winding  way.
But  little  worth  for  money  spent

Did  he  get  there  that  day.
His  feet  got  wet,  his  boots  got  spoilt.
Likewise  his  collar  too.
He  gave  the  guides  each  fifty  cents

To  see  that  humbug  view.
Then  through  the  Museum  he  is  led

And  all  the  wonders  shown.
Gathered  from  every  spot  on  earth

From  ev'ry  land  that*s  known.
They  lead  him  through  the  office  then

As  butchers  lead  a  calf.
And  when  he  starts  to  go  they  say

Two  dollars  and  a  half.
