A Irishman trying to put out a gaslight •with his fingers, cried o«vfc, "Ocn, niur •der ! the devil a wick's in it ! "

A son of Erin just arrived in the land .of plenty, being in want, was told by a person to whom he applied for aid, to go to -, generally considered a very warm region. " Civility, indade," said Pat "to •invite me to your father's house. "

A lover consulted a lawyer about car--: _^ying off an heiress. "You must not carry her off." said the lawyer, " but she -can carry you off. Let her mount a horse and hold the bridle and whip, and then you get up behind her, and let her rim away with you, and you'll be, safe." The next morning the lawyer found that his daughter had run away wilh the said young man in the aforesaid manner. "Hallo, there, capting," said a Bro ther Jonathan to the captain of a canal packet on the Erie Canal ; " what do you charge for passage ? " " Three cents per mile, and boarded," said the captain. " Wa'al, I guess I'll take the passage, .xjapting, seeing as hofv I'm kinder giu out walking so far." Accordingly he got on •beard as the steward was ringing for din ner. Jonathan sat down and. began de molishing the " fix ins' v to the niter con-

sternation of the captain, until he had .cleared the table of all that was eatable, when he got up and went on deck, pick ing his teeth, very comfortably. "How far is it, capfcing, from here to whore I ■got aboard?" "Nearly a mile and a half," said the captain. "Let's see," said Jonathan ; " that would be just four and a-half cents ; but never mind, capt ing, I won't be small. Here's five cents, which pays my fare to here. I guess I'll go ashore now. I'm kinder rested eout." Deer Jeames, — Hive been werry un fortnight with They pigs, won heve bin cornfraed with tbe cat-tail plaig and tother With a familee of 3 lade up witb mizzels, hopping this Wil find you, Well as it leaves me. At presen, sow no moor at present from me. Tore troolie R. H. 