FIRST YEAR OF HIS M1SS1014. 85

as I tnist through infinite grace I am, I find, of a
trnth, that the righteous are * scarcely saved/

These first four months which he passed at Kau-
naumeek, were thus rendered very painful to him.
His circumstances were unfavourable to that retire-
ment in which he delighted ; and his natural melan-
choly gained the ascendant over him.
Reflection on his errors at college, now frequently
embittered his days. He made, therefore, several
journeys, during this period, to Newhaven, in the
hope of effecting a reconciliation with the governors
of the college, but without success. We have al-
ready stated what passed on this business in the
September following.
At the end of July he removed to the little cottage
which he had been building. Here he spent the
remaining eight months of this his first year. This
beloved retreat gave a new turn to his mind. Though
still deeply exercised in spirit, he was prevailingly
happy in God, and enjoyed many seasons of refresh-
ment and mercy.
' July 25. Had little or no resolution for a life of
holiness ; was ready almost to renounce my hopes of
living to God. And oh, how dark it looked, to think
of being unholy for ever! This I could not endure.
