Now,  if  only  I  might  throw  a  bootjack  at  her,  it  would
waken  her  up,  and  be  such  a  relief  to  my  feelings,  that
I  shouldn't  feel  half  so  unforgiving  towards  her  all
along.  Then  as  to  swearing,  Aunt  Isobel —

"  Swearing  !"  ejaculated  my  aunt.
"  Of  course  swearing  is  very  wrong,  and  all  profane-
speaking  ;  but  I  do  think  it  would  be  a  help  if  there  was
some  innocent  kind  of  strong  language  to  use  when  one
feels  strongly."

"  If  we  didn't  use  up  all  our  innocent  strong  lan-
guage by  calling  things  awful  and  horrible  that  have
not  an  element  of  awe  or  horror  in  them,  we  should  have
some  left  for  our  great  occasions,"  said  Aunt  Isobel.
CASES  OF  CONSCIENCE  123

"  Perhaps,"  said  I,  "  but  that's  not  exactly  what  I
mean.  Now  do  you  think  it  would  be  wrong  to  invent
expletives  that  mean  nothing  bad  ?  As  if  Mr.  Rampant
were  to  say,  '  Cockatoos  and  kingfishers  !  where  are  my
shooting-boots  ?'  For  you  know  I  do  think  it  would
make  him  more  comfortable  to  put  it  in  that  way,
especially  if  he  had  been  kept  waiting  for  them."

I  paused,  and  Aunt  Isobel  turned  round.
