" A little nonsense now- and Utoia*' I Is relished hv the wisest- mei*i. ,r^ ■ ' Well, Pat, Jim- didn't quite kill yo« with the brickbat, did hei' • No, bug I' wish he had.'. '• Why : so V * ,So thai I could bave seen*- him- burag, tbi villian !'' j The brilliant Sophie- Arnold, whei she heard* of a certain diplomatist tha' had been eaten by tho wolves, exclaimed 'Poor brutes!" Hunger must indeec be a terrible thing !' Why is-a cow's tail like the lettle F Because it's- the end; of beef: ! Here'*i another quite as-had*; Why is an egj like a colt?' Because it is- not fit foi use until it is broken. A late minister of Biggar*, who was s reader in* thepulpit closed his discourse with the words-, 'I add no more.-j ' Because ye canna,'' exclaimed* an old woman from- her pew. j Lady (engaging Parlour Maid)*M ' And why did you leave your last place V Candidate (bridling.)^— ' *Whicli I were considered too good 1 looking,' mum ! —Visitors was always takin' ma* for missus, mum !' — London Punch. j Some admiring poet said of his best girl, ' Upon her face a thousand dimples smile for me.' Which only adds more t emphasis to the adage, ' Love is- blind.'| How like the mischief a girl would look with a thousand dimples on. her facej The poet must have meant freckles. Nothing is more pathetic than to see a gentleman rise in a street car and' offer his seat to a lady who has beeni standing for a mile, overcome her protestations and finally receive heij gratitude, and then, with a benignant^ and satisfied smile, hop right bffiat his] own store. ; - Scene: A Hotel bar; number ofi persons taking refreshments :: time, 10$ p. m. Heavy * Swell ' (to a customer of| the house): 'I think I have seen you!] before ; your face seems quite * familiar i to me.' Customer: 'Very likely, sir.| I was long a sheriff's officer*' ' Swell*! 1 ! collapses. 