... A victim ot domestic infelicity, who is in the babifcof dreaming should never go to sleep in church. A congregation^ near Quincy was somewhat startled. one- Sabbath when a venerable member ex citedly yelled, ' Here now !' drop tfrat; skillet, old woman.' ' ! The late Dr Bethumeaskeda morose and miserly man how he was getting" along. The man replied, * What busi ness is -hat of yours V Said the doctor,. ' I am one of those who take an interest even in the meanest ot God's creatures.'' Country Banker (to shaky customer): --' Are you- aware, Mr Soolivan, that your account is overdrawn a hundreds or so V Soolivan : ' Certainly I am,, sir. Don't bother me about such* thriQtis ! I don't go howling about' the country when you've a hundred or so of mine I Your infomration is super fluous either way X G-ood. morning: sir V The other morning a Gralveston merchant was soen standing in hi&i store wrth his face tied up and smil ing "like a house o-n fire. ' What are you grinning for V askfld a pasier* by. ' f choost sold out mine old* umprellas, and I feel so glad ash never vash. Dish painy vedder was a- pless ing/ ' What's the matter with ybur jaw V *My tooths ache so pad I vanta to die. Dot rainy vedder always makes dot.' and as his thoughts went bade to the sale of the umbrellas- \w put bis hand up to the jaw nnd laughed 1 , and* swore and stamped and smiled until people passing mistook him for a lunatic? Coleridge was once out for a rido; The horse and the rider were alike open to criticism. A low wag, appre ciating the general effect, asked the* poet if he had met a tailor like- himself.. ' Yes/, was. the reply j { and he said had* just lost his goose/ After this lowly triumph his road brought him within* hail of a more distinguished party oP horsemen, one of whom, a sporting- M.P., known to have been bribed by the Ministry, stopped him to inquire* the price of horse and rider. 