On his way he remembered the maxim of the good old
pastor, that no undertaking should be commenced without
a petition for divine aid. He threw himself upon his
knees, and while engaged in prayer the thought of his
parents* grief forcibly obtruded itself ; possibly also his
beloved old master's lamentations at his supposed loss,
or (if his flight were discovered) the ungrateful aspect his
conduct would naturally wear in the eyes of his benefactor,
may also have had some weight with him. Doubts, at all
events, overwhelmed him. Would it not be better to bear
the misery of his present life than be the cause of grief to
all who held him dear ? That thought decided him. He
would return and confess his fault ; he would bear with



140 MODERN PANTHEISM.
resignation any punishment that might be inflicted. He
did go back ; but detailed with so much honesty and sim-
plicity the motives that induced him to take the step of
running away, that the rector of the school not only be-
lieved him, but determined to take him under his special
protection. He removed him from the authority of his
tyrant, and gave him another senior, who soon obtained
his affection, and who was his bosom friend and companion,
not only during his school days, but during the after period
of his college life.
