Thames Advertiser

■ES® &BLISSBSD .APRIL 11; 1808:

8:016.
Thames, N.Z., Tuesday, January 8,1895.
Circulating Daily in the Thames Valley, Te Arpha, Ohinemuri, Waitekauri, Puriri, Hikutaia, Tairua, Coromandel, Hastings, and (Surrounding Districts.
Published Daily; One Penny.
DBITS AND BATS.
" Sqq here," remarked an old farmer to the schoolmaster, "Wliat'g this about ruling the lad's copybook with such" headlines as, more hurry thotesa.speed; and 'The longest way > round is the shortest wav home.' I want to educate that "boy for business, not for • a member of Parliament." . ■.-< Friend: Ullo! What's this? — Artist: Oh, a study of a Chiuaman.-— Friend: But a Chinaman isn't black. —Artist.: Wel],; nc»j bnt been iwgsasmed lately!^ "Now, major, do your very best to come to us on Tuesday. I shall ex pect you. But if you can't come of course I shall not be disappointed!" This story of an ingenious duck has\ gained for the reader who forwarded it to ' Tit Bits' a prize of one guinea. The story is nota'bad one. The duck (it belonged to Childeock, Dorset) i was anxious for a family, and not • having the appliances and means to v to boot at hand, she collected 18'. •' apples, placed them in a nest, and, im agining them to be eggs, sat on them for a whole fortnight, with the expectations of producing a brood of ducklings! Rusty Nail (in the street): "What are you doing here ?" Carpet Tack:' Waiting for a ride.' 'Do you think any.of these fine people- will stop their "carriages to pick up a worthless little thing like . you?' 1 No: but the first bicyclist that comes along will pick me up without stopping/

THE SECRET OF THE CLIFFE.
