Jay Gould once told a story about an Irish man. It was whpn there were packet-boats on the Erie Canul. The Irishman offered to work his passage to Buffalo, and they set him leading the horses that towed the boat. He worked faithfully for two days, doing a great deal of" thinking. On the third day he thought it out. "By the power*/' he said, " I moight as well walk as work me passage." And walk he did, without even thankine his enrolovers. Not Realistic. Young Author: "Would you call my novel^realism or romance ? " Friend • "What does the heroine say when she accepts the hero ? " Young Author : "Oh, she says, ' Yes, dear George, we will tread Ijfe's path together, one in heart and pur ' pose, bearing each other's burdens, sharing each other's grief, doubliDg each '" Friend : "Well, then,it isn't realism. A real girl would no more think of making a speech on such an occasion than of singing a song or cutting a pigeon- wing." — Puck. A Soft Answer. Not only was Dr. Sharp the best sur geon in the State, but, best of all, he was young and eligible. It was, then, not to be wondered at that he was particularly liked by fond mammas with marriageable daughters, and still less a cause for wonder that he considered himself as always on the defensive. One afternoon, at a tea given by Mrs. Bicker for her oldest daughter, his hostess reaiarked, with flattering interest, "It must require great presence of mind in your profession, doctor. Now supposing a man should fall out of a balloon, what would you do first?" "Wait for him to '■ome down," he replied, calmly. — Boston Budget. A Drawing-room Idyl. Strephon: ''Will you accept this ring as an emblem of my love, because it has n > ending ? " Phyllis : " No ; because it is also an emblem of my love, for it has no beeinniug!" Help to Humility. An exchange quotes a philosopher nt saying that a man is, after all. of no vcrj great account. There are three impvrtaol times in his life — when he is born, when he marries, and when he dies. 