――建さんなりに、練習したくない理由があったのか。
建は教坊の中が敵ばかりで、徐を贔屓する集団に見えたのだろう。
けれど建のこの意見に、徐は呆れ顔をしてみせた。
「そんなの、アタシの方がずっと長く宮妓をやっているんだ、アタシの琵琶の方が皆にとって耳馴染みがいいってだけの話だろう?
前世でもそうだったが、どんな場所でもたとえ優秀な能力の人が入ってきて「これこれこうした方がもっといい結果が出る」と提案してきたとしても、それまで慣れたやり方を続けてきた集団にとって、受け入れるのに抵抗があるものだ。
それで言えば、教坊では今は徐の琵琶の音や手法に慣れていて、他の弾き手も合わせやすかっただろう。
しかしその徐だって、最初は慣れていない新人から始めたはず。
誰だって、最初からなにも躓かずにいられた人なんていないのだ。
さらに徐は話を続ける。
「アンタが自分のことを一番の弾き手であると思うならば、誰がなんと言おうと堂々としていればいいし、自らの力で陛下の御前に出たのだと胸を張っていればよかったじゃないのさ。
そう語る徐は、とても悲しそうな目をしていた。
「......嘘だ、嘘だ! アンタはいつだってアタシを詰って、馬鹿にしていた!」
自発的にはやらないけれども言われたらやる、と言う性格の人はどこにでもいるものだ。
徐はそれを見抜いてあれこれ言いつけを出していたが、彼女の方はそれを嫌がらせとしか考えていなかった。
―― 師弟で、とことんすれ違っていた二人だったんだなぁ。
徐の方も、もしかしたら言葉が足りなかったのかもしれない。
なにせ彼女自身も父親の店が潰れるまではお嬢様育ちで、苦労知らずだったのだから、そのあたりのやり方に疎かったとしても無理はない。
建の周囲に二人の間に入って繋いでくれるような人物がいれば、また違ったのかもしれないが、残念ながら建は教坊でも浮いていたということだったので、拗れを修復できなかったのだろう。
「うそだ、嘘だ嘘だ!」
建は今さらそのようなことを認められないのか、そう叫んで床に額を打ち付け出した。
「止めんか! 誰か鎮静薬を早く持ってこい!」
官吏が建の自傷をやめさせようとしている中で、建は叫び続けた。
「わたくしはただ、幸せになりたかっただけなのに、どうして誰も助けてくれないの、どうして......!?」
最後の叫びは、おそらく建の心からの叫びだったのだろう。
'So Miss Jiang has her own reasons why she didn't want to practice.'
Jiang had a lot of enemies in the Jiaofang, and she probably thought of them as Xu's patrons.
However, Xu had an exasperated expression when she heard Jiang's opinion.
"I've been a courtesan far longer than you,so isn't it just them being more familiar with my biwa? It takes time for people to get used to something new."
No matter where it was, there would be people who had excellent abilities who would attempt to coach someone by suggesting things that would help them become better. However, the other party would refuse, preferring to continue doing the things the way they were accustomed to.
Going along those lines, the people in Jiaofang must be accustomed to the sound of Xu's biwa and her way of playing the instrument, making it easier for the other players to follow.
However, Xu also started as a newbie that was new to everyone.
There's no such thing as a person who didn't experience any sort of failure when starting out.
Xu continued on.
"If you believe you're the number one musician  here, then hold yourself up with confidence no matter what the others say. You could've been proud of yourself that you performed before His Majesty through your own strength.  You could've done it, Jiang Qing, without resorting to that sort of deception. Well, at least that's what I thought."
Xu's gaze was extremely filled with sadness as she said those words.
"...Lies, lies! You always scolded me off and made a fool out of me!!"
There are plenty of people in the world who won't do a thing on their own, but they would if somebody else told them to.
Xu saw through her, so she told Jiang to do this and that, but Jiang only thought she was doing it out of spite.
'So this teacher-student pair just misunderstood each other big time, huh.'
It's also possible that Xu didn't explain it that well, too.
She had been raised as a pampered young lady until the collapse of her father's business, and she really hadn't experienced any hardship, so it was not surprising that she wasn't familiar with how some things were done.
Things might've been different if there was someone else around to mediate between the two; however, Jiang also felt out of place in the Jiaofang, so they never had the chance to smooth out their differences.
"You're lying, lying, lying!!"
Perhaps Jiang couldn't accept this after all this time, so she kept on screaming those words as she banged her forehead on the floor.
"Will you stop! Somebody hurry and get the tranquilizer!"
The government official tried to stop Jiang from harming herself, but she just continued screaming.
just wanted to be happy, so why, why, why doesn't anybody save me, why...!?"
Her last shrieks were screams that came from the bottom of her heart.
Housekeeper of the Hundred Blossom Palace
百花宮のお掃除係～転生した新米宮女、後宮のお悩み解決します。
https://www.novelupdates.com/series/housekeeper-of-the-hundred-blossom-palace/
Fantasy Romance Shoujo Slice of Life
Adapted to Manga Ancient China Complex Family Relationships Different Social Status Female Protagonist Imperial Harem Love Interest Falls in Love First Reincarnated in Another World Royalty
https://ncode.syosetu.com/n4104ev/
黒辺あゆみ