「はぁ......はぁ......はぁ......!」
思わず、部屋から飛び出て来てしまった。
今日は色んな事が起こってて、心の中がぐちゃぐちゃだ。考えが纏まらなくて、身体が思うように動かなくて、やりたいことを躊躇してしまう。
あの勇者とかいう人間がフィニア達を連れて行ってしまった時、私は落ち込むきつね君を見て何も思わなかった。ああ、落ち込んでるなぁとしか思わなかった。だから何も言わなかったし、いつも通りに振る舞ってた。
それなのに、ちゅーしたり、舐めたり、そういう事がしたかった筈なのに、あの白いのと戦った時から身体の調子がおかしい。
きつね君に触れようとすると、なんだか躊躇してしまう。抱きつくなんて今まで簡単にやってた筈なのに、今ではどうやってたのか分からなくなっちゃった。
きつね君と話していると胸がドキドキする。夜でもないのに、顔が熱くなって、胸の奥がきゅうって締め付けられる様な感覚に苛まれる。私の身体、一体どうしちゃったんだろう? 少し怖い。
さっきだって、折角きつね君が2回もちゅーしていいって言ってくれたのに、眼を閉じたきつね君の顔に顔を近づけたら途端にドキドキが止まらなくなっちゃった。顔が熱くなって、ちゅーなんてしたらおかしくなりそうで、なんだかその場にじっとしていられなくなった。
だから逃げちゃった。ベッドから飛び退いて、扉を開けてそのまま廊下に飛び出してきた。
「うぅ......分かんない......」
頭の中がきつね君でいっぱい。私どうしちゃったのかな......?
結局、その夜私はきつね君の事でいっぱいになった思考と、もやもやしたような切ない感情を抑えきれず、一晩中外を走り回っては頭を抱えて過ごしていた。
そしてこの日は今まで生きてきた中で唯一、1秒だって欲情することはなかった。
僕はレイラちゃんが出て行った後、もう一度眠りにつき、翌朝の今、目を覚ました。
少し身体が重いけれど、今度はちゃんと上体を起こすことが出来、部屋を見渡すとリーシェちゃんの姿は何処にも無く、レイラちゃんも帰っていない様だった。
一応リーシェちゃんの武器や荷物は置いてあるから、多分お風呂とかに行ってるんだろうけど、レイラちゃんは何処行ったのか分からないや。
とりあえず、と思いながらベッドから降りた。
「ん、んー......! っはぁ......さて、と」
一つ伸びを入れて、身体の調子を確かめる。疲労感は残っているものの、これはしばらく休めば元に戻る筈だ。
腕も足もちゃんと動くし、使徒ちゃんの打撃でかなりダメージを受けていた内臓器官も、『臨死体験』のおかげでなんら支障無く動いてくれている。万全、ではないが、通常通りに行動することは出来るだろう。
『瘴気操作』でレイラちゃんと同様の瘴気を生み出し、ナイフを形成する。振るってみても崩れないし、切れ味もそこらの刀剣より良さそうだ。これは昨日も作ってみて分かる。イメージ通りに動いてくれるだけあって、中々使い勝手が良さそうだ。
次に瘴気を拡散させて部屋中に細かく散らしてみた。すると、眼を閉じていても部屋の中に何があるのか大体分かる。椅子やベッド、リーシェちゃんの武器、窓際に置かれた花瓶。
どういう色で、どういうデザインなのかは分からないけど、形だけは分かる。これが瘴気の索敵能力って訳か。レイラちゃんの言ってた通りだね。
「うん......レイラちゃんに聞けばもっと分かりそうだけど、かなり便利そうだ」
瘴気を消して、そう呟いた。
そして、今度は『先見の魔眼』を発動してみる。昨日はどうやら勝手に発動してしまったようだけど、意識したら発動を解除する事も出来た。
鏡を見てみたら発動時は翡翠色の虹彩になるんだけど、発動していない時はレイラちゃんと同じで赤い虹彩になる。どっちにしろ左眼を取り戻した僕は、発動してようがしてなかろうが、
うん、ちょっとカッコいいんじゃない?
中二病とか言われるけどさ、この世界には勇者気取り以外にそんなこと言う奴いないし、ぶっちゃけカッコいいと思うんだ僕。密かにレイラちゃんの赤い眼とかカッコいいなぁって思ってたんだよ僕。
「ふふふ、ビジュアル的に僕も成長したってことか」
そんなことを言いながら、僕は満足気に笑みを浮かべる。
「あ......きつね、おはよう」
「ん? リーシェちゃん、おはよう!」
すると、扉が開いて髪を濡らしたリーシェちゃんが帰ってきた。
でも、彼女の眼元はちょっと赤くなっていた。強く擦ったんだろうか? それとも、泣いていた......?
「......左眼、治ったんだな」
「うん、リーシェちゃんが気絶している間にちょっと色々あって」
「ああ......私が気絶している間に、な」
僕の言葉に、リーシェちゃんはなんだか自嘲気味にそう言った。
どうしたんだろうと思って首を傾げるけれど、リーシェちゃんはなんだか悲しげに俯くばかりだ。なんだなんだ? 元気ないなぁ、心配になるじゃないか。
「......なぁきつね、私は一体何のためにお前に付いて来たんだろうな」
「え?」
「お前に付いて来て、私は仲間の為に何が出来た......何も出来ていないじゃないか。フィニアとレイラが強いのは分かる......それでも、みすみすフィニアやルルを奪われて......お面だって取り戻すどころか動くことすら出来なかった。それなのに、いきなり何者かに襲撃されて気絶して......気が付いたらきつねとレイラがなんとかしていた............私は私が情けない!」
自分を責める様にそういうリーシェちゃん。そういえばこの子対して役に立ってないね。まぁソレを言うなら僕は戦闘に参加してないから、リーシェちゃんの方が護衛依頼中役に立ってたと思うんだけど。
でもなんだか彼女は自分の必要性に迷っているようだ。敵を目の前に、仲間と戦えないというのは、彼女にとってさぞ悔しいことなんだろう。
まぁ知ったことではないけど。
「確かに君は役に立たないし、実力だってフィニアちゃんやレイラちゃんに比べれば随分劣っているし、ルルちゃんみたいに家族ってわけでもない。正直な所居る意味はあんまりないよね」
「う......分かっていたがはっきり言われるとかなり来るな......」
「でもさ、リーシェちゃん。僕は必要不必要で仲間を選んでないんだよ」
ぶっちゃけ、僕はリーシェちゃんみたいに自分の実力がないからって悩む様な考え方はしていない。弱いなら弱いで良い、それでも生き延びるために食らいつくのが僕だ。
その為ならあの勇者気取りにだって歯向かうし、魔王だって丸腰で倒しに行こう。レイラちゃんを相手にするのだってやぶさかじゃないし、なんならあの使徒ちゃんに喧嘩を売るのだって容易い。
「君が仲間をどういうモノだと考えてるのか知ったこっちゃないけど、僕はリーシェちゃんを頼りにしてる。それじゃ駄目なの?」
だから、仲間は必要なのか必要じゃないのかなんて考える関係じゃないし、僕は強い弱いで仲間を切り捨てない。僕より弱い奴なんて、このパーティにはいないしね。
命を預けるに足る相手だと信頼しているから仲間なんだ。例え勇者気取り並の実力を持つリーシェちゃんと1週間一緒に仕事したそれほど強くないリーシェちゃんのどっちを取るかと言われれば、僕は後者を取る。
強いだけの奴なんて、僕はいらないんだよ。
「......ああ、分かった」
「まだ仲間になって一週間も経ってない。これから頑張れば良いんだよ、僕も、君も」
「そうだな......うん、頑張るよ」
苦笑気味に微笑みを見せるリーシェちゃん。励ましになればいいけれど、まぁリーシェちゃん次第だよね。
さて、それじゃそろそろ動きますか。まずはレイラちゃんを探しに行こうかな。
部屋を出て行くきつねの背中を見ながら、私も武器と荷物を持って部屋を出る。
彼の後ろを歩く私は、内心で彼に対する尊敬と感心を抱いていた。
私は元々、騎士としての可能性を見出せずにいて、父様にも騎士の皆にも見捨てられがちな状況だったのをきつねによって助けられた。まぁ助けられたというよりも、別の可能性を見出されたといった感じだったが、それでも私は感謝している。
2年間分からなかった、私が剣を振るえない理由をたった2時間程で見出してしまったその観察眼や、また格上に対して自分を押し通す胆力、勇者という権力的にも実力的にも格上である相手に対し、負けはしたものの精神的には押し勝っていた様だった。
彼の強さはその類い稀な精神力と、強敵に臆さない胆力にあるのだと思う。
今でこそフィニアやルルを取り戻す為に強くなることに貪欲さを見せているが、少し前までは強くなろうという意思は全くなかったのだ。
なのに、戦うことからは逃げていなかった。確かに彼は、父様の言う通り戦う術とは別の、何か違う強さを持っていると思う。
「ふんふんふーん......♪」
鼻歌を歌いながら前を歩くきつね。どうやら今日は機嫌が良いらしい。
彼と仲間になって短くも時間が経ったが、その短い時間の中でかなり濃い出来事が多くあった。レイラとの邂逅、勇者との戦い、そして謎の襲撃。
―――その全てで、私は何の役にも立てていない。
レイラとは何があったのか、私自身何も知らないのだが、それでも勇者の時や謎の襲撃のときは、結果的にどちらもきつねが一番前に出て重傷を負った。
仲間なのに、私は強者を前にして臆してしまったんだ。実力だって、私の方がきつねよりも強い筈なのに。
「なぁきつね、これからどうするんだ?」
「ん? ああうん、とりあえずこの国を出るよ。どうやら僕にぴったりな国があるみたいだから」
「そうか......」
廊下を歩きながら、そんな会話を交わす。会話は続かず、結局また沈黙してしまった。
きつねは私に、必要不必要で仲間を選んでいないと言った。彼にとっては、強い仲間はそれほど必要じゃないらしい。背中を預けられる、信頼出来る者が仲間なんだと、そう言った。
そして、何の役にも立てなかった私を、頼りにしていると、それじゃ駄目なのかと、そう言ってくれた。
「......きつね」
「ん? どうしたのリーシェちゃん」
その言葉は、私の心に染み入った。
ならば、きつねが私を頼りにしてくれているというのならば、強くなろう。勇者にも立ち向かえるように、誰よりも強くなろう。
「私は強くなるよ、約束だ」
だから、きつねは見ていてくれ。私はきっとお前の期待に応えてみせる。騎士では無くなってしまったけれど、私は私の剣に誓うよ。
きっと、強くなってみせる。
「え、いきなり何? 怖いんだけど」
台無しだよ。お前はいつも締まらないなぁ......全く。
"Haa... haa... haa...."
Spontaneously, I left the room.
Many things happened today and my heart was in a mess. My mind was in disorder, my body wouldn't move as I wanted it to, and I ended up hesitant to do what I wanted to.
When I saw Kitsune-kun depressed because Finia and Lulu were taken away by that so called hero or something, I didn't feel anything at all. Ah, he's depressed, that was all I thought. That was why I didn't say anything and behaved as I used to be.
And yet, even though I wanted to kiss and taste Kitsune-kun, ever since the battle with that white person, my body had been acting strange.
When I was about to touch Kitsune-kun, somehow I ended up hesitating. Even though I'd been able to hug him very easily up until now, this time I couldn't even think up a way to do it.
When I talked with Kitsune-kun, my heart would beat faster and faster. Even though the night hadn't come yet, my face was burning, and I felt as if my heart was being tormented as if being pressed by something. My body, just what happened to it? I was a bit scared.
Even before, even though Kitsune-kun had especially said that I could kiss him twice, when I closed up my face to his, my heart suddenly beat unbearably fast. My face turned hot, I felt I'd go crazy if I kiss him there, and somehow I couldn't bear to stay beside him any longer.
That was why I ran away. Jumping out of the bed, I opened the door and immediately rushed out to the hallway.
"Uu... I don't get it...."
My mind was filled by Kitsune-kun. What's happening to me, I wonder?
In the end, I passed the night by running around at my wits' end because of the thought of Kitsune and the unbearable murky and painful feeling I felt.
And then that day, I couldn't feel an ounce of desire that have been accompanying me ever since I was born.
When Leila-chan left, I fell asleep once again, and now, the next morning, I wake up.
My body is a bit heavy, but this time I can move and straighten my body up, and when I turn around, I can see neither Rishe-chan nor Leila-chan in the room.
Well, Rishe-chan's sword and luggages are still there, so perhaps she's taking a bath or something, but I just don't know where Leila-chan is.
For now, I get off the bed while thinking so.
"Mm, mm~...! Haa... well then...."
After stretching my body, I check my current condition. The remaining fatigue, it should all dissappear if I rest for a bit more.
My limbs are all movable, even my internals that received quite an injury from Apostle-chan's attack, thanks to "Near-death experience" I can somewhat move easily without it hindering me. I haven't perfectly healed yet but it should be enough to go through the usual daily activity.
The real check is starting from here. Producing miasma with "Miasma manipulation" like Leila-chan usualy does, I mold it into a knife. It doesn't break when I try swinging it, and it looks sharper than the normal sword around. I realized it when I tried creating a knife yesterday. Since the miasma moves as I imagine it to, it's pretty easy to control.
Next, I try to scatter the miasma around the room. Then, even when I close my eyes, I can somewhat understand what's there inside the room. Chair, bed, Rishe-chan's sword, as well as the vase beside the window.
I don't know the color or the pattern on it, but I can understand its form.
"Umm... if I ask Leila-chan I think I'll be able to understand it more, but this ability sure is convenint."
Extinguishing the miasma, I mutter so.
This time, I try to activate "Demon-eye of foresight". It seems like this ability arbitrarily activated yesterday, but when I'm conscious, it's possible for me to activate as well as deactivate it.
Upon looking at the mirror, I can see that the iris will turn into jade green when the skill is activated, but when the skill isn't activated, the iris will be red similarly like Leila-chan's. Either way, after regaining my left eye, either it when I activate the demon eye or not, seems like it's already decided that I'd have odd eyes (heterochromia).
Yup, don't I look a bit cool like this?
I might be called as a chuunibyo or the like, but in this world there's no one who knows that term aside from the fake hero after all, so honestly speaking, I do think I look cool this way. I even secretly thought that Leila-chan's red eyes were cool.
"Fufufu, that means even appearance-wise I've grown, huh."
Saying so, I float a satisfied smile.
"Ah... Kitsune, morning."
"Hmm? Rishe-chan, morning!"
Then, opening the door, Rishe-chan returns with her hair wet.
However, her eyes are somewhat red. Did she rub it too strong? Or perhaps, did she cry?
"...your left eye, looks like it's been healed."
"Yeah, this and that happened when you were fainted, you see."
"I see... when I was fainted, huh."
When I say so, it feels as if Rishe-chan somewhat self-deprecates herself.
I incline my head in wonder what happens to her, but Rishe-chan only sad-lookingly hang her head. What happens? She doesn't look well, doesn't it make me kinda worried.
"...say, Kitsune, why did you take me along with you?"
"Eh?"
"Ever since you took me along, what have I done for our comrades? ... Weren't I unable to do anything at all? I fully understand that Finia and Leila are strong... but, Finia and Lulu were taken away before my own eyes, even the mask, not to mention taking it back, I couldn't even move at all. And yet, I was immediately fainted by that surprise attack... and when I woke up, you and Leila had somehow dealt with it... I sure am pathetic!"
Come to think of it, she surely wasn't very helpful at all, huh. Well, if we go that way then since I never participated in any battle then, I think Rishe-chan was say more helpful in the previous guard request, though.
And yet here it appears that she's doubting whether she's necessary for us or not. To be unable to fight the enemies before her for her comrades, perhaps that was very mortifying for her.
Well, not that I care though.
"Well, surely you weren't very helpful, even power-wise, yours is quite inferior than Finia-chan's and Leila-chan's, and unlike Lulu-chan, you aren't my family or anything. So honestly speaking, it doesn't look like there's any necessity for you to be with us."
"Ugh... I've understood it but listening to you saying it so bluntly is still a bit...."
"But you see, Rishe-chan, I'm not choosing my comrades based on necessity."
Honestly speaking, the thought about worrying simply because you're weak, like how Rishe-chan does, has never crossed my mind. It's okay to be weak, however you ought to keep on struggling to stay alive.
For that sake I'd even go up againtst the fake here, I'd even go subjugate the demon lord if I need to. I won't even hesitate to take care of Leila-chan, even fighting against that apostle-chan isn't something I'm afraid of.
"I don't know your idea regarding comradery, but as far as I'm concerned, I want to rely on you. Is that not good enough?"
That's why, I won't discard her simply because she's weak, comrade isn't about whether they're necessary or not, after all. In this party, there's no one who's weaker than me, after all.
Comrade is someone you could entrust your life to. If I must choose between the Rishe-chan who possess prowess equaling that of the fake hero, or the Rishe-chan who isn't that strong but has spent a week working together with us, I'd choose the later.
I don't need someone who posses only power.
"...umm, got it."
"It hasn't even been a week ever since we became comades. Let's do our best from now on."
"You're right... yeah, let's do our best."
Rishe-chan shows a somewhat strained smile. I hope that could encourage her, but well, it's all depending on Rishe-chan herself, though.
Well then, it's about the time for us to move. Well, I think we need to search Leila-chan first, though.
Looking at Kitsune's back that was leaving the room, I took my sword and my luggage and then left the room as well.
Walking behind him, I held a strong respect and admiration toward him.
Initially, I was in a dire situation where I couldn't see any possibility to be able to become a knight and was abandoned by my own father and everyone else, and at that time Kitsune saved me. Well, rather than saving me, it was more like he showed me another possibility, nonetheless I was grateful to him.
The observation ability that could perceive the reason why I couldn't swing my sword in only two hours, something that I'd never realized in those two years of time, also the courage to stand against someone who's way stronger than him. He even could put mental pressure on the hero who was clreay way stronger than him.
Those strength were originated from his exceptional emotional strength as well as the courage that won't falter even before an overwhelming enemy.
Right now he was avaricely seeking any means possible to get stronger so that he could take Finia and Lulu back, but just a moment before, he didn't have any such a thought at all.
He was exactly like what my father said, not fighting power, he possessed a different kind of power.
"Hmmhmmhmm~...."
Kitsune walked while humming. Seems like he was quite in a good mood.
It hadn't been that long ever since I became his comrade, but in that short amount of time, quite a number of great affairs had happened. The encounter with Leila, the fight with the hero, and then that mysterious attack.
--in all of it, I didn't do anything useful at all.
I personally didn't know what happened in the case with Leila, but in the case with the hero and that mysterious attack, Kitsune was always the one who stood at the most front and received serious injuries in result.
Even though we were comrades, I ended up hesitant when I stood up before the strong. Even though prowess-wise, I was supposed to be stronger than him.
"Say Kitsune, what are we going to do from now on?"
"Hmm? Ah, umm, well, for the time being, let's leave this country first. Seems like there's a country that's perfect for me."
"I see...."
While walking through the hallway, we exchange such conversation. Unable to continue the conversation, in the end we were being silent again.
Kitsune said that he didn't choose comrade based on necessity. For him, it seems like he didn't particularly neeed some powerful comrades. He said that comrade was someone he could entrus his back to.
Thus, even someone who couldn't fight like me, he said that he wanted to rely on me, and asked if that wasn't a good enough reason to be a comrade.
"...Kitsune."
"Hmm? What's up, Rishe-chan?"
Those words, permeated my heart.
If that's the case, if he said that he wanted to rely on me, then I had to be stronger. In order to face against the hero, I'd to be stronger than anyone.
"I'll definitely become stronger, I promise you."
Therefore, just watch me, Kitsune. I'd definitely live up to your expectation. I failed to be a knight, but I promised you in the name of my sword.
Definitely, I'd be stronger.
"Eh, what's into you so suddenly? It's kinda scary, though."
Please don't spoil the mood like that. Why must you always did that...  good grief.
I Kinda Came to Another World, but Where’s the Way Home?
【書籍化】異世界来ちゃったけど帰り道何処？
https://www.novelupdates.com/series/i-kinda-came-to-another-world-but-wheres-the-way-home/
Action Adventure Comedy Drama Fantasy Harem Shounen Slice of Life
Apathetic Protagonist Bullying Calm Protagonist Demi-Humans Demon Lord Demons Dense Protagonist Fairies Game Elements Ghosts Heterochromia Knights Level System Male Protagonist Murders Naive Protagonist R-15 Royalty R*pe S*aves Sword And Magic Transported to Another World Weak Protagonist Yandere
https://ncode.syosetu.com/n2650bx/
こいし