第54話 氷の令嬢と冷たい過去
冬華を部屋に連れ込み、ソファに座らせてから暫くは沈黙の時間が続いた。
隣で俯く少女の表情は暗く沈んでいて、瞳には光が宿っていない。
まるで氷の令嬢に戻ったかのように、冷寒とした空気が漂う。
「何か俺に出来ることはあるか」
やがて、朝陽が最初に口を開いた。
色々と、無理やりが過ぎることは朝陽も自覚している。
ただ、どうしても放っておくことができなかった。
それは、目の前で冬華が倒れた時の状況と同じようで違う。
言葉数は少なかったが、はっきり助けを求められたのだ。
大丈夫じゃないです、と。
「......朝陽くんは、いつも私に手を差し伸べてくれますね」
ポツリ、と言葉を紡いだ冬華はやんわりと口角を上げる。
「......私の話を聞いてほしいです。私の......過去の話を」
目に映る弱々しい微笑は今にも崩れてしまいそうで、無理をしているのだとはっきり分かった。
だからこそ、朝陽は大きく頷く。
その冷たい氷の内へと、何度でも熱のこもった手を伸ばす。
「私にはずっと、お母さんしかいませんでした。実父は私が生まれる前に蒸発してしまったそうで。頼れる親族もおらず、シングルマザーとしてお母さんが一生懸命に私を育ててくれたんです」
ゆっくりと冬華が喋り始めたのは、かつて何度か口にした母親の話だった。
何となく、予想はしていた。
嫌な予感が現実味を帯びて来る。
「暫くして、私達の家に度々知らない男性がやって来るようになりました。氷室誠さんという方で、とても怖い人でした。無表情で、無愛想で。でも、実は凄く優しい人で。お母さんの前では、穏やかで優しい表情をいくつか浮かべていました。......そうして時を経ていく内に、私達は家族になったんです」
冬華の言葉を聞きながら、朝陽はふと一枚の写真を思い浮かべた。
冬休みの最終日に、珍しく冬華が忘れ物をした時の事。
あの時、偶然目に入った携帯の待ち受け画面に写る二人の大人。
あれはやはり、家族写真だったのだ。
冬華と、冬華のお母さん。そしてスーツを着た長身の男性は、再婚相手だったというわけだ。
「誠さんはいくつもの会社を営業している事もあって、再婚後の生活は一変し、私は何一つ不自由ない日々を過ごしていました。無償の愛と、恵まれた環境に身を置き、友達も沢山できました」
ここまで聞いた話は幸せな家族の物語といって良いだろう。
冬華の表情もどこか穏やかなものになっている。
ただ、やはり彼女は憂慮の色を滲ませていた。
「......でも、その幸せは長くは続きませんでした」
かつて、何度も同じ光景を見た。
冬華が家族の話をする時は、決まって幸せな表情の裏に暗い過去を覗かせていた。
何度も嫌な予感が頭に過った。
それが今日、明確な事実として朝陽の胸に突き刺さる。
「きっかけは三年前、お母さんが交通事故に巻き込まれて......帰らぬ人になってしまったんです」
冬華は母の死を簡潔に述べた。
その表情は歪み、声音が震えている。
「辛かったら話さなくていい」
本当は、思い出したくないはずだ。
この後にはきっと、どこまでも暗くて悲しい話が続く。
無理はさせたくない。
その一心で声を掛けた朝陽の思いを冬華は受け止めて、ゆっくりと首を横に振った。
最後まで聞いてほしい。
薄っすらと涙が浮かんだ瞳がそう訴えている。
「それから、誠さんは滅多に家に帰らなくなりました。元々、忙しい人でしたが、お母さんが亡くなった後はハウスキーパーの方に任せっきりで。そして去年の夏、転勤の影響で私は一人暮らしを迫られました」
痛い。
「誠さんが愛したのはお母さんであって、きっと私には興味がなかったんです。今も、扶養義務があるから養ってくれているだけで......私のことなんて全く見ていません」
辛い。
「それは友達だと思っていた人たちも同じでした。お金が目的だったみたいで、私が誠さんから愛想を尽かされたことが分かると、一人、また一人と去っていきました」
「お母さんも、お父さんも、友人も。私の傍からみんな離れてしまいました。塞ぎ込んだ私は暫く学校にも行かず、一人で部屋に籠って。そうするうちに、考えてしまったんです」
冬華の話を聞く度に、様々な負の感情が朝陽を襲う。
「こんなに痛くて、辛くて、苦しい思いをするなら、最初から誰とも関わらなければいいって。一人で生きていけば、傷つかないで済むから......」
淡々と告げられた冬華の言葉を聞いて、朝陽はようやく氷の令嬢の真実を知った。
かつて朝陽も身内を失った経験がある。
両親が仕事で忙しい中、様々な事を教えてくれた祖父が亡くなった時。
心にぽっかりと穴が開いたような感覚を未だに覚えている。
その心の傷を癒してくれたのは家族であり、親戚であり、友人だった。
それなのに、そうであるべきなのに。
冬華は孤独を選ばざるを得なかったのだ。
心の傷を癒すことができず、一人で抱え込むしか道がなかった。
誰に対しても極端に距離を取り、必要以上の会話はせず、表情はいつも真顔のまま変わらない、氷の様に冷たいお嬢様。
氷の令嬢とは、深く刻まれた心の傷を守る手段。そして、その傷をこれ以上広げないための術。
「勉強も運動も一人で生きていく術として身に付けました。料理も頑張ったんですけどね......結局、お母さんのように何でも一人でこなすことは私には無理でした。そうして、一人暮らしを始めた途端に身体を壊してしまって......」
ここから先の話は朝陽も共有している。
ただ、冬華の過去を知った今となっては受ける印象が全く違ってくる。
いったい、冬華はどれほどの痛みを、辛さを、苦しみを抱えてきたのだろうか。
今でも朝陽には全く想像が付かない。
例え、想像が付いたとしても自分に何が出来るのか。
その答えは
「......あの日、私は朝陽くんに出会ってしまった」
冬華が持っていた。
「風邪を引いた時、お腹が鳴った時、荷物が持てなかった時......三年間そうしてきたように、いつでも拒絶できたはずなのに、私はあなたの熱に触れてしまった。差し伸べられた手を握り返してしまった......」
「......お節介だったな」
「そのお節介に私は救われたんです。誰かと関わることの大切さを朝陽くんは教えてくれた。私にもう一度、人と関わる勇気を与えてくれた」
冬華が紡ぐ一言一言が朝陽の胸に直接届く。
そして、最後に。
氷の令嬢は氷を纏った心の底から。
「......だから、私は怖いんです」
今まで胸に秘めていた思いを叫んだ。
「また、誰かが離れていくのは嫌なんです......」
その悲痛な叫びを朝陽は全身で受け止める。
隣に座る少女の頬にはいつの間にか、透明な雫が伝っていた。
思えばかつて、冬華の涙を一度だけ見た事がある。
あの時、小さく口にした「懐かしくて」という言葉の意味が分からなかった。
ただ、今なら分かる。
きっと冬華は、朝陽の料理に母親の姿を見出したのだ。
長い間避けていた熱を再び感じて、思わず涙が流れてしまった。
今も、冬華は静かに感情を露にする。
冬華には泣いてほしくない、傷ついてほしくない。
吹けば消えてしまいそうな、儚い少女の姿を正面から見据え、朝陽はそう強く思った。
冬華には笑っていてほしい。
その願いを叶えるために、自分が出来ることは何か。
悩むこともせず、考えることもせず。
朝陽は頭に浮かんだ言葉を、想いを率直に伝えた。
「俺は離れない」
Ch 54
After Asahi brought Fuyuka into the room and made her sit on the sofa, silence continued for a while.
The expression of the girl next to him was grim and somber, and there was no light in her eyes.
The air was chilly, as if she had returned to being the "Ice Lady".
"Is there anything I can do?"
Eventually, Asahi opened his mouth.
He was aware that he was being overly pushy in many ways.
However, he just couldn't leave her alone.
It was the same situation as when Fuyuka had collapsed in front of him, but slightly different.
Her words were scarce, but it was clear that she wanted help.
I'm not okay, that was what it implied.
"...Asahi-kun, you're always reaching out to me."
After she briefly spoke, Fuyuka smiled.
"...I want you to listen to my story. The... story of my past."
Asahi saw in his eyes the girl's fragile smile, and he could clearly see that she was straining herself.
That was why he nodded strongly.
He would reach his hand into that cold ice as many times as he could for her.
"I've only had my mother my whole life. My father disappeared before I was born. I had no relatives to rely on, so my mother did her best to raise me as a single mother."
Fuyuka slowly began to talk about her mother, whom she had mentioned several times in the past.
Somehow, Asahi already expected it.
The bad feeling that he felt was turning more and more real.
"After a while, an unknown man started to come to our house frequently. His name was Himuro Makoto, and he was a very scary person. He was expressionless and unsociable. But he was actually a very kind man. In front of mother, he had a calm and gentle expression on his face... And so, over time, we became a family."
As he listened to Fuyuka's words, Asahi suddenly thought of a picture.
On the last day of winter vacation, when Fuyuka unusually forgot her phone.
At that moment, he happened to see two adults on the phone's standby screen.
It was, after all, a family photo.
Fuyuka and her mother, and the tall man in the suit was her mother's second marriage partner.
"After my mother remarried, my life completely changed and I had no inconvenience whatsoever. I was blessed with unconditional love and a privileged environment, and I made many friends."
The story he had heard so far was a happy family story or you could say so.
Fuyuka's expression also became somewhat calm.
However, she still had a hint of concern.
"...But that happiness didn't last long."
Before, he saw the same scene over and over again.
Whenever Fuyuka talked about her family, she always had a gloomy look behind her joyful expression.
A bad feeling came over him again and again.
That was today, this was a clear fact that stuck out in Asahi's mind.
"It all started three years ago when my mother was involved in a car accident and... never came back."
Fuyuka briefly described her mother's death.
Her expression was distorted and her voice was shaking.
"You don't have to talk if it's hard."
The truth was, she probably didn't want to recall it.
Asahi was certain that there would be more dark and sad stories to follow.
He didn't want her to push herself.
Fuyuka took in Asahi's concern and slowly shook her head.
She wanted him to hear her out until the end.
That was what her eyes with tears conveyed.
"After that, Makoto-san rarely came home. He had always been a busy man, but after mother passed away, he left the house to the housekeeper. Then last summer, I was forced to live alone due to a job transfer."
It hurts.
"I'm sure that Makoto-san only loved my mother and didn't care for me. Even now, he only supports me because he has a duty to do so... and doesn't look at me properly at all."
It was harsh.
"It was the same with the people I thought were my friends. They seemed to be only after money, and when they found out that Makoto-san didn't care for me, they left one by one."
"My mother, father, and friends all left me. I was so depressed that I didn't go to school for a while and stayed in my room by myself. As I did so, I began to think."
Every time Fuyuka spoke, a variety of negative emotions attacked Asahi.
"If it's going to be this painful and difficult, then I shouldn't have gotten involved with anyone in the first place. So I tried to live on my own so I won't get hurt."
After listening to Fuyuka's words, Asahi finally learned the truth about the "Ice Lady".
In the past, Asahi had also experienced the loss of his relatives.
When his grandfather, who taught him many things while his parents were busy with work, passed away.
He still remembered, the feeling as if a hole had been left in his heart.
It was his family, relatives, and friends who helped him heal from his emotional trauma.
And yet, and yet...
Fuyuka had no choice but to choose solitude.
Unable to heal the wounds in her heart, she had no choice but to keep them to herself.
She always kept her distance from everyone, never spoke to anyone beyond what was necessary, and always maintained a straight face. A lady that was as cold as ice.
The "Ice Lady" persona was a way to protect the deep scars on one's heart. It was also a way to prevent the wounds from spreading any further.
"I learned to study and exercise as a way to survive on my own. I also tried my best on cooking... In the end, it was impossible for me to do everything on my own like my mother did. Then, as soon as I started living alone, my body collapsed."
The story from here on out was familiar to Asahi.
However, now that he knew about Fuyuka's past, the impression he got was completely different.
Asahi wondered how much pain and suffering Fuyuka had been through.
Even now, he had no idea.
Even if he could imagine it, what could he do?
The answer was...
"...That day, I met you, Asahi-kun."
Fuyuka had the answer.
"When I caught a cold, when my stomach rumbled, when I couldn't carry my load... I could have rejected you at any time, as I had done for the past three years, But I received your warmth. I've grasped your hand back."
"...Sorry for being meddlesome."
"I was saved by that meddling. You taught me the importance of being involved with others. You gave me the courage to get involved with people again."
Every word that Fuyuka conveyed reached directly to Asahi's heart.
And lastly.
From the bottom of the "Ice Lady's" icy cold heart.
"That's why, I'm afraid that..."
She shouted out the thoughts she had been keeping to herself.
"...That somebody might leave me again."
Asahi took in that tragic cry with his whole body.
Before he knew it, a clear drop of fluid was running down the cheek of the girl sitting next to him.
Thinking about it, he once saw Fuyuka's tears.
He didn't understand at that time the meaning of the word "nostalgic" that she had uttered in a small voice.
But he was able to understand it now.
Surely, Fuyuka saw the image of her mother in Asahi's cooking.
She felt the heat she had avoided for so long again, and she couldn't help but shed a tear.
Even now, Fuyuka was quietly revealing her emotions.
Asahi didn't want to see Fuyuka cry, he didn't want her to get hurt.
Asahi strongly proclaimed as he looked at the fragile figure of the girl who might disappear if wind blew.
He wanted Fuyuka to keep smiling.
What could he do to make that wish come true?
Without pondering about it, or thinking about it.
Asahi frankly conveyed the words and thoughts that came to his mind.
"I'm not going anywhere."
How To Melt the Ice Lady
【コミカライズ連載中】氷の令嬢の溶かし方　～クールで素っ気ないお隣さんがデレるとめちゃくちゃ可愛い件～
https://www.novelupdates.com/series/how-to-melt-the-ice-lady/
Comedy Romance School Life Slice of Life
Adapted to Manga Beautiful Female Lead Caring Protagonist Cooking Cute Story Famous Parents Kind Love Interests Kuudere Male Protagonist Modern Day Popular Love Interests
https://ncode.syosetu.com/n2567fv/
高峰 翔