第87話 叶わぬ恋
激しい雨が降り注ぎ、轟音が脳内に響く。
龍馬に呼び止められ、朝陽は空き教室へと来ていた。
日菜美は冬華を追うと言っていたが、なぜか千昭が制して二人は帰ることに。
真っ先に朝陽も小さな背中に手を伸ばそうとしたが、一人にさせてくださいと呟いた冬華の冷気にそれ以上足が出なかった。その冷たい言葉はかつての氷を思わせる、しかし突き放す印象とはだいぶ違っていた。
そしてなにより、立ち塞がった龍馬の酷く悲しそうな目が話を聞いてほしいと訴えていたのだ。
雨の音がやけにうるさくて、朝陽はカーテンを静かに閉める。
そうして一層暗くなった教室で、龍馬は開口一番に淡々と事実を述べた。
「氷室さんに告白したよ」
ピクッと朝陽の肩が小さく跳ねる。
龍馬と冬華の間になにがあったのか、今すぐにでも聞きたいという気持ちが顔に出ていたのだろう。
「ごめんなさい、だって。つまりそういうことさ」
力なく笑う龍馬に、朝陽はなにも言えずに口をつぐむ。
どの立場で声をかけていいのかわからないのはもちろん、沸き上がる自分の感情に整理がつかなかった。
龍馬が振られて嬉しいとも思わない。
かといって一緒に悲しめるわけでもない。
ただただ、龍馬が振られたという事実だけが重くのしかかる。
容姿良し、性格良し、サッカー部のエースで趣味も同じ。
異性から絶大な人気を集める男でも、冬華は付き合おうとしなかったのだ。
だとすれば、火神朝陽が告白したらどうなるのだろう。
そんな自問自答をして、考えたくもない未来ばかりが思い浮かぶ。
ゆっくりと心の靄に名前が付き始め、それを振り払うかのように別の話題に切り替えた。
「なんで冬華は泣いてたんだ」
振られたほうが泣くのは理解ができる。
しかし、振った方が泣くのはどういう理由なのか。
「振られた後、これからも友達でいてほしいなんてありきたりなセリフを言ったんだ。そしたら氷室さんは耐えかねたように泣き出してしまった」
「それ以外には何も?」
「うん。それだけだよ。本当に些細な願いさ。だけど、氷室さんにとっては辛いことだったんだよ」
火神君。そう龍馬は優しく名前を呼んだ。
「君に謝らなければいけないことがある」
でもその前に。そんな前置きがあった。
「僕の話を聞いてくれないか。僕が氷室さんに恋をして、振られた話を」
あまりに真摯な眼差しに、朝陽は小さく頷く。
なぜ自分に話すのか、という疑問を浮かべる余念すらない。
これからする話を聞くために、ここに呼ばれたのだと自然に察することができた。
「ありがとう」
そう呟いてから始まった物語は去年の夏休み、冷房の効いた保健室から始まった。
「昔からよく注目されたんだ。カッコいいだとか、背が高いだとか、運動ができるとか。もちろんそれは嬉しいけど、同時に疎まれることが多くなった。僕はなるべく誰に対しても良い人であろうとしたけど、どうしても誰かにとっては良くない人になってしまう」
自慢話のようで、酷く疲れ切った一人語りに嫌な気持ちは一切しなかった。
朝陽は自然と聞き入ってしまい、龍馬もまた言葉を続ける。
「高校に入学した頃には自分の立ち位置を理解できるようになった。だから、一年生にしてサッカー部のエースを任された生徒が、一部の先輩にとって面白くないこともわかっていた」
「夏休みの練習中に先輩から悪質なファールを受けてさ。幸い重傷は免れたけど、一歩間違えれば長期離脱もあり得た。その時、僕は先輩への怒りより、笑顔で取り繕った自分に嫌悪感を覚えたんだ」
「赤黒い血が流れる足を引きずって、一人で保健室へと向かった。廊下を歩く間、一気に全てが嫌になったよ。良い人でいることに疲れてしまった。そんな最悪の状態で、氷の令嬢――氷室さんに会ったんだ」
龍馬は過去を憧憬するように天井を見上げ、小さく笑った。
「氷の令嬢の話は聞いていたけど、保健委員とは知らなかった。その時は自分のことで精一杯だったし、そもそも噂に興味もなかったからね。さしてなにも思うことなく治療を頼んだ。そしたら彼女、なんて言ったと思う?」
龍馬の問いかけに、朝陽は無言でわからないと伝える。
「レッドカードじゃ足りないと思います、って」
「なんだそれ」
「どうやら保健室から一部始終を見ていたみたいで、氷室さんなりに僕に気遣ってくれたらしい」
「それで退場じゃ足りない、か」
「面白いよね。思わず笑っちゃって睨まれたよ」
そのやり取りは容易に想像がつく。
蒸し暑い夏に吹き込む爽やかな風のような素敵な瞬間。
きっと恋が始まるには、ぴったりのプロローグだ。
「それからだ、氷室さんが気になり始めたのは。保健室で何度か話そうとしたけど、噂通り冷たく突き放されたよ。だけど僕は、彼女に優しさがあることを偶然にも知った。仲良くなりたいと、やがて付き合いたいと願うようになった。僕が変わらず良い人であり続けたのは、それが氷室さんへのアプローチになると思ったからだ」
風が強く吹き、カーテンの先で窓ガラスが音を立てる。
「そして夏が明けて二学期が始まった頃、氷室さんがゆっくりと変わっていった。まるで氷が溶けていくように、僕はようやくチャンスが来たのかもしれないと喜んださ」
まるで龍馬の話に呼応するかのように、雨脚は勢いを強めていった。
「けどすぐに気付いたんだ、彼女の氷は決して自然には溶けない。きっと誰かが太陽になったんだって。だから諦めはしていた。叶わぬ恋だとわかっていた」
「それでもこの想いを伝えることは、誰にも責められる筋合いはないだろう?」
朝陽を真っ直ぐ見据える瞳は今までになく哀愁に満ちていた。
「僕が君にズルいと言った意味、今ならわかってくれると思う」
ここまで言われて、自覚できないわけはない。
龍馬が望んでいた立ち位置に朝陽は図らずしも最初からいたのだ。
「......悪い」
「謝る必要はないよ。むしろ謝らきゃいけないのは僕だ」
龍馬はなおも朝陽から目を逸らさず言葉を続ける。
「最後は火神君の気持ちを無視して、僕の告白を優先してしまった。結果として、氷室さんを泣かせることに......。ごめん、他の道が見つからなかったんだ」
深々と龍馬が頭を下げる。
その姿を黙って見ていられず、朝陽はすぐに声をかけた。
「山田こそ、謝る必要はない。誰にも責められる筋合いはないって、自分で言ってたろ」
「それは......火神君には、非難されても仕方がないと思ってる」
「なら責めない。責める権利なんて、俺にはない」
朝陽が言うと、龍馬はゆっくりと顔を上げた。
「君は本当に良い人なんだね」
その言葉にどんな思いが込められていたのか。
朝陽は表面的な意味だけを受け取って、小さく首を横に振った。
「最後に一つ、聞いてもいいかな」
「答えられる質問なら」
「君は氷室さんのことをどう思ってる?」
奇しくもそれは、朝陽と龍馬が初めて会話をした日と同じ問答だった。
変わったのは、朝陽の心情だ。
そしてこれから変わるつもりも、変えるつもりもない。
それだけは絶対に。
自分に言い聞かせるように、朝陽は口を開く。
「好きだよ。俺は、冬華が好きだ」
「それが聞けて良かった」
龍馬は今度こそ、いつもの爽やかな笑顔を浮かべる。
「これからきっと、もう一雨来る。でも君なら傘にもなれるし、太陽にだってなれるはずだ」
その表情は清々しいものだった。
「応援してるよ、
背中を押され、朝陽は空き教室を後にする。
まだ雲は晴れそうにないが、遠方に小さな光が差し込んでいた。
Ch 87
Heavy rain poured down and a roaring sound echoed.
Ryoma stopped him and they arrived at an empty classroom.
Hinami said she would go after Fuyuka, but for some reason Chiaki restrained her and they decided to leave.
Asahi also tried to reach out to the small back, but he couldn't go any further because of the cold air emitted by Fuyuha who said, "...Please leave me alone for now." The cold words were reminiscent of past her, but much different from the impression of being pushed away.
Ryoma's terribly sad eyes were pleading with him to listen to him as he stood there.
The sound of the rain was awfully noisy, so Asahi quietly closed the curtains.
Then, in the darkened classroom, Ryoma started his story.
"I confessed my feelings to Himuro-san."
Asahi's shoulders gave a small jump.
He had an expression that he immediately wanted to know what had happened between Ryoma and Fuyuka.
"'I'm sorry,' she said. Which only leads to one thing..."
Ryoma smiled lightly, Asahi could not say anything and kept his mouth shut.
He didn't know whether he was in a position to say anything while sorting out his feelings.
He didn't even feel happy that Ryoma was rejected.
However, he couldn't exactly cheer him up either.
The only thing on his mind was the fact that Ryoma was rejected.
He had good looks, a good personality, was the ace of the soccer team, and they had the same hobbies.
Even though the man was immensely popular, Fuyuka did not go with him.
If that was the case, what would happen if Kagami Asahi confessed?
Asahi had all of these thoughts to himself, including a future he didn't even want to imagine.
Slowly, a name began to appear in the haze in his mind, and as if to shake it off, he switched to another topic.
"Why was Fuyuka crying?"
It was understandable that the one who was rejected would cry.
But why would the one who rejected cried?
"After I was rejected, I said the conventional line about wanting us to remain friends. Then Himuro-san couldn't take it anymore and started to cry."
"Nothing else?"
"Yeah. That's all. It's just a small wish. But it must have been hard for Himuro-san."
"Kagami-kun." Ryoma softly called his name.
"I owe you an apology."
"But first." There was such a preamble.
"Will you listen to my story? I'm going to tell you the story of how I fell in love with Himuro-san and was rejected."
He looked at him with so much sincerity that Asahi gave a small nod.
He didn't even have the time to ask Ryoma why he was gonna tell his story.
Asahi could naturally guess that he had been called here to listen to what he was about to say.
"Thank you."
The story that began after he gave his appreciation. It all began in an air-conditioned infirmary during last summer vacation.
"I often get a lot of attention for being cool, tall, athletic, and so on. Of course it was nice to be noticed, but at the same time, I was often shunned. I tried to be as nice as possible to everyone, but inevitably I ended up being a bad person to someone else."
It looked like bragging, but Asahi didn't feel uncomfortable about his monologue.
Asahi quietly listened, and Ryoma continued his story.
"By the time I got to high school, I understood my position. So I knew that a student who was given the responsibility of being the ace of the soccer team as a freshman would not be pleasant to some of the seniors."
"I was maliciously fouled by a senior during summer practice. Fortunately, It was nothing serious, but one wrong move and I could have been out for a long time. At that time, I was more disgusted with myself for putting on a smile than being angry with my senior."
"I dragged my bleeding feet to the infirmary alone. As I walked down the hallway, I hated everything about it. I was tired of being a 'good person.' It was in such a bad state that I met the 'Ice Lady,' Himuro-san."
Ryoma looked up at the ceiling, as if longing for the past, and gave a small laugh.
"I'd heard about the Ice Lady, but I didn't know she was on the health committee. I was too busy with myself at the time, and I wasn't interested in rumors. I didn't think much of it, so I asked her to treat me. And you know what she said?"
In response to Ryoma's question, Asahi silently told him that he didn't know.
"'I don't think a red card is enough.'"
"What's with that?"
"It seems that she was watching the whole thing from the infirmary, and in her own way, she was concerned about me."
"'That's not enough to get you out, is it?'"
"Isn't it hilarious? I laughed so hard she glared at me."
It was easy to imagine the exchange.
A wonderful moment, like a fresh breeze blowing in the hot and humid summer.
It was surely the perfect prologue for the start of love.
"That's when I started to become curious about Himuro-san. I tried to talk to her a few times in the infirmary, but as they say, she was cold as ice. But I know that she had a kind heart. I wanted to be friends with her, and eventually I wanted to go out with her. I continued to be a good person because I thought that would be a good way to approach Himuro-san."
The wind blew strongly, and the window panes made a noise beyond the curtains.
"And then, as summer drew to a close and the second semester began, Himuro-san slowly began to change. It was as if the ice was melting, and I was glad that I thought my chance had finally come."
As if in response to Ryoma's story, the rain intensified.
"But I soon realized that her ice never melted naturally. Someone had to have been the sun. So, I gave up. I knew it was an unattainable love."
"Still, no one can blame me for expressing these feelings, right?"
The eyes that looked straight at Asahi were more sorrowful than ever.
"I think you understand now what I meant when I told you you were being unfair."
'How could I not be aware of this after being told so much?'
Asahi was in the position that Ryoma wanted to be in from the beginning.
"...Sorry."
"You don't have to apologize. In fact, it's me who needs to apologize."
Ryoma continued to speak without looking away from Asahi.
"In the end, I ignored your feelings and prioritized my confession. As a result, I ended up making Himuro-san cry... I'm sorry, I just couldn't find any other way."
Ryoma bowed his head deeply.
Unable to stand by and watch him, Asahi immediately called out to him.
"Yamada, you don't need to apologize. You said it yourself, no one can blame you."
"That's... I think it's fine even if you blame me, Kagami-kun."
"Then, I won't. I have no right to blame you."
Asahi muttered, Ryoma slowly looked up.
"You're a really good person, aren't you?"
What kind of thought was put into those words?
Asahi shook his head slightly, receiving only a superficial meaning.
"Can I ask you one last question?"
"If it's a question I can answer."
"How do you feel about Himuro-san?"
Oddly enough, it was the same question and answer that Asahi and Ryoma had on the day of their first conversation.
What had changed were Asahi's feelings.
And he had no intention of changing in the future.
That was the only thing he was sure of.
As if saying to himself, Asahi opened his mouth.
"I like her. I like Fuyuka."
"I'm glad I was able to hear that."
This time, Ryoma smiled with usual fresh smile.
"There's going to be another rain. But you can be the umbrella, and you can also be the sun."
The look on his face was refreshing.
"I'm rooting for you, Asahi-kun."
With his back pushed, Asahi left the empty classroom.
The clouds didn't seem to be clearing yet, but there was a small light in the distance.
How To Melt the Ice Lady
【コミカライズ連載中】氷の令嬢の溶かし方　～クールで素っ気ないお隣さんがデレるとめちゃくちゃ可愛い件～
https://www.novelupdates.com/series/how-to-melt-the-ice-lady/
Comedy Romance School Life Slice of Life
Adapted to Manga Beautiful Female Lead Caring Protagonist Cooking Cute Story Famous Parents Kind Love Interests Kuudere Male Protagonist Modern Day Popular Love Interests
https://ncode.syosetu.com/n2567fv/
高峰 翔