8
さくらにそう言われたが、いくら考えたところでリリアにはどうしても理解することができない。考えるだけ無駄だと思ってしまう。
「ねえ、アリサ」
リリアが対面に座るアリサに声をかけると、すぐに、はい、と返事を返してきた。
「私にはいまいちテオの意図が分からないのだけど。アリサは分かるの?」
「その......。何となく、ですし正しいかは分かりませんが」
「そう......」
アリサが分かる。なら今までの行動を全て思い出せば、きっとリリアもたどり着くことができるだろう。今日一日のことを思い出し、ついでにテオと会った時のことも思い出せるだけ思い出し、そして出した結論は、
「私と仲良くしたいから......?」
そう呟いて、すぐにリリアは自嘲した。
「なんて、そんなわけないわね。自意識過剰にもほどがあるわ」
それを聞いたさくらが小さくため息をつき、アリサが悲しげに眉尻を下げたのだが、リリアはそれには気が付かなかった。
アルディス公爵家の屋敷から学園までは馬車で三時間ほどの距離だ。それを考えれば昼過ぎに屋敷を出ても今日中には余裕を持ってつけるのだが、今日ぐらいは寮でゆっくりとしたいと思い、誰にも会わないようにするために昼前に屋敷を出た。授業が終わって寮に人が戻るのが夕方なので、今から寮の自室に入れば誰にも見咎められることはないだろう。
リリアが王子から婚約破棄を言い渡されたことはすでに知れ渡っているはずだ。周囲の視線を想像するだけで恐怖を覚える。かといって学園に通う以上は誰にも会わないということはあり得ない。今日しか通用しない手段だ。
――逃げても仕方がないよ?
――うるさいわね......。
そんなことはリリアも分かっている。だから、今日だけだ。学校の空気の中で一晩、じっくりと覚悟を決める。それが自分に対する言い訳にしかならないと分かってはいる。それでもリリアには、これ以外の選択はできなかった。
昼を少し過ぎた頃、学園の建物が見えてきた。
学園の敷地はとても広い。勉学のための巨大な校舎の他にも、訓練など、何かしらの運動をする場所もある。雨が降った時のために、屋内で運動ができる建物もある。さらには、敷地の隅にだが、校舎以上の大きさを誇る寮もある。
「リリア様。私は......」
アリサは学園を一瞥した後はリリアの方に向き直っていた。アリサが言葉を続ける前に、リリアは問いを予想して先に答えを言う。
「貴方は私と同室よ」
「え......」
「あら、何か文句があるの?」
目を細めてアリサへと問いかけると、アリサは慌てたように首を振った。リリアは、ならいいのよ、と目を逸らす。
――うるさいわがままさんと寝る時まで一緒だなんて、かわいそう。
――誰のことよ。
にやにやと意地の悪い笑みを浮かべていそうな、そんな口調だった。リリアは眉をしかめ、
「どうせ私はうるさくてわがままよ」
ふてくされたようにそう言う。冗談だよ、とさくらが笑うのと、
「そ、そんなこと思っていません!」
アリサが叫んだのは同時だった。リリアが驚いて固まり、さくらもアリサがリリアの小声に反応するとは思わなかったのか、言葉を詰まらせている。
真剣な表情でこちらを見つめてくるアリサ。リリアは少し考え、そして小さく頷いた。
――今も夜も変わらないでしょう。
――うん。任せるよ。
さくらの了承を得て、リリアは口を開いた。
「ねえ、アリサ。貴方は本当に、そう思っているの?」
「もちろんです! 今のリリア様にそんなこと、全く思っていません!」
「じゃあ、今までは?」
「それは......もちろん思っていませんよ」
アリサがわずかに言葉を途切れさせたのを、リリアは聞き逃さなかった。だが別に不快だとは思わない。予想していた答えだ。
「アリサ。ここの声は御者台には聞こえないわね?」
「え? はい、聞こえませんが......」
「では腹を割って話しましょう」
リリアが姿勢を正してそう言うと、アリサが表情を険しくした。
「私はね。変わると決めた。そのためならやりたくない勉強もするし、短気も直していく。でも、私個人では限界があるし、周囲の人はきっと納得しないでしょう」
というのはさくらの言葉だったりする。リリア自身は未だに、自分のどこが悪かったのか理解しきれていない。それでも、この一週間で屋敷の人間の、自分を見る目が少し変わっていたのは確かだ。故にリリアはさくらに従う。だからさくらの言葉をそのまま借りる。
「私は、私が変わるために、協力者が欲しい。以前の私をよく知っていて、なおかつだめなことはだめと言ってくれる人が」
「それを......私に求めるんですか?」
「そうよ。でないとこんな話、するわけがないでしょう」
アリサが目を閉じ、黙り込む。表情は険しいままだ。リリアはアリサの思考を遮ることはせずに、彼女の答えを静かに待つ。そのまま馬車の振動に身を任せ、学園が目と鼻の先に迫ってきた時、ようやくアリサが口を開いた。
「リリア様。一つお聞かせください」
「なに?」
「貴方はまだ......殿下を狙っていますか?」
ずいぶんと直接的な表現だな、とリリアは内心で苦笑する。表情にはおくびにも出さず、リリアは首を振った。
「殿下のことはもういいの」
「本当ですか?」
「未練がないと言えば嘘になるけどね」
自嘲気味に答えると、アリサはようやく笑顔を見せた。分かりました、と頷いて、
「私でよければ、協力させていただきます。私はリリア様専属のメイドですから」
アリサの答えに、リリアも満足そうに頷いた。さくら曰く、協力者がいるのといないのとではかなり違うらしい。それは精神的なことであり、ある意味では一番重要なことだ。
よろしく、とリリアが言って、馬車の外へと視線を戻す。少しばかり嬉しく、そして恥ずかしさからそうしたのだが、アリサは気にすることなく言葉を続けてきた。
Haunted Duke's Daughter Chapter 8
Even though Sakura said so, no matter how much Lilia tried to think about it understanding just wouldn't come to her. She felt that just thinking about it was probably useless.
"Hey, Alisa."
When Lilia called out to Alisa sitting opposite to her, a reply of "yes" came immediately.
"I can't quite seem to figure out what Theo's intentions were back there. Do you get it, Alisa?"
"That's... I somewhat understand, but I can't be sure that I'm correct."
"Is that so..."
Alisa knew. Therefore recalling all the things that have happened up to now, Lilia should also be able to reach somewhat of an answer. The events of today, and at that just thinking back to the encounter with Theo, the conclusion she reached was,
"He wanted to get along better with me...?"
After muttering such, Lilia immediately said in self derision.
"As if, like that could be the case. There should be a limit to being self conscious."
Hearing that, Sakura gave a small sigh, and Alisa lowered her eyebrows sadly, but Lilia noticed neither of them.
The distance from the Aldis duke estate to the academy could be traversed in around three hours by coach. With that in mind even if one left the estate in the afternoon they could arrive on the same day with time to spare. However, for today Alisa wanted to rest easy in the dormitory, and departed from the estate before noon to avoid having to run into anyone. After cla.s.ses ended people would be returning to the dorm in the evening, so if she entered her room now there should be no one there to question her.
The prince's declaration of the break-off to their engagement should already be well known by now. Just imagining the gazes from her surroundings brought her dread. That said, it would be impossible to attend school without running into anyone. Today would be the only exception.
--Nothing will change even if you run away right?
--Oh shut up...
Lilia too understood that much. That's why, it was just for today. Diving into the atmosphere at school, she would use tonight to properly harden her resolve. She knew that it was just an excuse to herself. Even so, to Lilia this was the only choice she could take.
A little past noon, the academy's structure came into view.
The academy's grounds were quite large. Along with the enormous school building for education, training and various other sporting facilities also existed. For times of rain, there were even indoor athletic buildings on campus. What's more, though placed at a corner of the academy, there stood the dormitories boasting a size even greater than the main school building itself.
"Mistress Lilia. I..."
With one look at the academy Alisa turned around to face her master. Before she could continue her words, Lilia, antic.i.p.ating her question answered preemptively.
"You will be in the same room as me."
"Eh..."
"My, is there a problem?"
As Lilia narrowed her eyes and questioned the maid, Alisa fl.u.s.teredly shook her head. Lilia accepted the response, and looked away.
--To be stuck with noisy Miss Selfish from dawn till dusk, how pitiful.
--And who might that be.
It was a voice that seemed to carry with it a mean-spirited smirk. Lilia knit her eyebrows,
"After all I'm just so loud and selfish right?"
Lilia sulked as she said that. Sakura was laughing and said that it was a joke, and,
"Tha-that's not what I thought at all!"
Alisa shouted simultaneously. Lilia stiffened in surprise. Even Sakura hadn't expected Alisa to respond to Lilia's quiet mutter, and was at a loss for words.
Alisa was gazing over with an earnest expression. Lilia thought for a moment, and nodded lightly.
--There's no difference between talking to her now or tonight right?
--Yep, I'll leave it to you.
Receiving Sakura's acknowledgement, Lilia opened her mouth.
"Hey, Alisa. Is that really true?"
"Of course! That's definitely not what I was thinking about the current Mistress Lilia!"
"Then, what about right now?"
"That's... of course I don't think that way."
Though Lilia decided to overlook the slight pause in Alisa's words, she did not feel particularly displeased about it. It was an expected response.
"Alisa. Our voices here will not be heard at the driver's stand right?"
"Eh? Yes, it will not reach but..."
"Then let's have a frank discussion."
Lilia said as she fixed up her posture, and Alisa's expression turned serious.
"You see, I've decided to change. For that purpose I've studied things I didn't want to, and worked to fixed my quick temper. But, by myself there are limits to what can be accomplished, and the people around me would certainly be unable to understand me."
That was to say she was only making use of Sakura's words. Lilia herself, to this day, did not fully understand where all of her own faults were. Even so, in this one week, it was certain that she managed to somewhat change the people in her estate's perception of her. That was why Lilia listened to Sakura. That was why she simply followed Sakura's words.
"I, to change myself, want someone to a.s.sist me. Someone who knows well what I was like before, a person who can tell me 'no' when I need it."
"Is that... What you wish of me?"
"That's right. I wouldn't be saying all this otherwise right?"
Alisa closed her eyes, and fell silent. Her expression remained serious. Lilia refrained from interrupting her thoughts, and waited silently for her answer. As they continued to simply leave their bodies to the jostling of the carriage, finally as the academy drew up close in front of them, Alisa opened her mouth.
"Mistress Lilia. Please tell me just one thing."
"What?"
"Are you still aiming for His Highness?"
'How blunt,' thought Lilia as she smiled bitterly inside. With a level expression, she shook her head.
"I'm over it already."
"Really?"
"Well I would be lying if I said that there were no lingering feelings at all though."
With some self ridicule in her answer, Alisa finally showed a smile. With an 'I understand', she gave a nod,
"If you are fine with me, please allow me to provide a.s.sistance. I am Mistress Lilia's personal maid after all."
At Alisa's response, Lilia also gave a satisfied nod. As Sakura said, there was a considerable difference between having or not having a helper at one's side. It was a pillar of emotional support, and in a certain sense that was the most important part.
With an 'I'm in your care', Lilia returned her sight to look outside the coach. She did so, a little happy, though mostly out of
Haunted Duke’s Daughter
取り憑かれた公爵令嬢
https://www.novelupdates.com/series/haunted-dukes-daughter/
Comedy Fantasy Romance School Life Shoujo Slice of Life Supernatural
Broken Engagement Character Growth Determined Protagonist Different Social Status Female Protagonist Friendship Hard-Working Protagonist Heartwarming Loyal Subordinates Maids Nobles Otome Game Possession Royalty Second Chance Servants Sharing A Body Sword And Magic Unrequited Love Villainess Noble Girls
https://ncode.syosetu.com/n5708cr/
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