<story><title>Why I won’t give talks about being a woman in tech</title><url>https://soledadpenades.com/2016/07/20/why-i-wont-talk-about-being-a-woman-in-tech-and-neither-should-you/</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>btilly</author><text>I personally know several successful professional women who have a policy of refusing to belong to any women-only groups.  Their reason is that in their experience such groups are populated by people seeking reassurance.  The result is that they offer the &amp;quot;support&amp;quot; of lowered expectations.  Which won&amp;#x27;t help you succeed.&lt;p&gt;One also pointed out to me that if a group of men were to form a men&amp;#x27;s only business club, that would be seen as sexist.  It is no less sexist to form a women&amp;#x27;s only club, but nobody sees fit to criticize it.&lt;p&gt;This is not a bias against women in general.  They just refuse to deal with people whose identify first as women, and only secondarily as professionals.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>junko</author><text>There&amp;#x27;s nothing wrong with seeking reassurance. Not everyone can be naturally confident, and in most cases the lack of it becomes a barrier. Take maths in British schools for example: most kids presume that it&amp;#x27;s hard, and I&amp;#x27;ve witnessed many times when they just refuse to try and have a go because of this pop delusion (because yeah, it&amp;#x27;s almost cool to be bad in maths). But I&amp;#x27;ve also taught lower set kids where their learning (and consequently test scores) boosted significantly once they realised that the &amp;#x27;fear&amp;#x27; was all in their heads.&lt;p&gt;But confidence is not like a switch that can be flipped on&amp;#x2F;off. It might surge, but then it will tail off again. So you need support - not necessarily all the time - that&amp;#x27;s enough to push you back up in the air. In the classroom, a good mentor will give you that. In an environment that is often perceived by a group of people to be a bit &amp;#x27;scary&amp;#x27; - like tech - the occasional empowerment talk will give you that. That&amp;#x27;s why I don&amp;#x27;t (well, no longer) see these &amp;quot;women&amp;quot; talks as awkward - on the contrary, they are much needed. You might roll your eyes, but there will be some in the audience feeling just a little less scared about the too-big-for-me ideas in their heads - and so increase the likelihood of executing them.</text></comment>
<story><title>Why I won’t give talks about being a woman in tech</title><url>https://soledadpenades.com/2016/07/20/why-i-wont-talk-about-being-a-woman-in-tech-and-neither-should-you/</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>btilly</author><text>I personally know several successful professional women who have a policy of refusing to belong to any women-only groups.  Their reason is that in their experience such groups are populated by people seeking reassurance.  The result is that they offer the &amp;quot;support&amp;quot; of lowered expectations.  Which won&amp;#x27;t help you succeed.&lt;p&gt;One also pointed out to me that if a group of men were to form a men&amp;#x27;s only business club, that would be seen as sexist.  It is no less sexist to form a women&amp;#x27;s only club, but nobody sees fit to criticize it.&lt;p&gt;This is not a bias against women in general.  They just refuse to deal with people whose identify first as women, and only secondarily as professionals.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>AngrySkillzz</author><text>If you are a member of a disadvantaged group, you often do not have the ability to identify as a professional first and a group member second. That is the effect of being disadvantaged. Other people will make your life seem primarily about being a group member. Think about dealing with sexist&amp;#x2F;sexually-charged comments, racial tension at the office. Even if you want to just be a professional, other people will get in your way (and not always intentionally). Maybe imagine what life would be like for one of those people.</text></comment>