<story><title>Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation</title><url>https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-023-40666-3</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>NayamAmarshe</author><text>It&amp;#x27;s always fear, isn&amp;#x27;t it?&lt;p&gt;We&amp;#x27;re afraid to approach people, afraid to ask for help, afraid that someone might react in the worst possible way or something really bad might happen.&lt;p&gt;But obviously, it never happens the way we imagine. Reality is 100% of the time, different from our imagination and yet, many of us still fail to remember that.&lt;p&gt;Every good opportunity that I ever got, was from me coming out of my comfort zone and avoiding to avoid situations.&lt;p&gt;It&amp;#x27;s important to remember, anxiety is a useful defense mechanism, but not 99% of the time.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>mindwok</author><text>As an anxious person with people-pleasing tendencies, something I&amp;#x27;ve been trying to focus on is reframing the situation and removing fear entirely. For me, fundamentally the fear of social interactions comes from the fear I&amp;#x27;m going to do something wrong, that person will react badly, and I&amp;#x27;ll feel bad about myself. I&amp;#x27;ve realised this entire calculus is broken, because you feel good or bad based on people&amp;#x27;s reactions which is something you cannot control.&lt;p&gt;Instead, I&amp;#x27;m trying to focus on feeling good or bad based on my intentions, and seeing people&amp;#x27;s reactions as merely a feedback loop to better align my actions with my intentions. It has been difficult but I think it is slowly working.</text></comment>
<story><title>Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation</title><url>https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-023-40666-3</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>NayamAmarshe</author><text>It&amp;#x27;s always fear, isn&amp;#x27;t it?&lt;p&gt;We&amp;#x27;re afraid to approach people, afraid to ask for help, afraid that someone might react in the worst possible way or something really bad might happen.&lt;p&gt;But obviously, it never happens the way we imagine. Reality is 100% of the time, different from our imagination and yet, many of us still fail to remember that.&lt;p&gt;Every good opportunity that I ever got, was from me coming out of my comfort zone and avoiding to avoid situations.&lt;p&gt;It&amp;#x27;s important to remember, anxiety is a useful defense mechanism, but not 99% of the time.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>xyzelement</author><text>Spot on. This hit me a few weeks ago when I was considering a long workout class ln Peloton. I was hesitant to hit the start button because it was late, I was tired, etc. Then I realized that it was genuinely harder to hit play than to actually do the class.&lt;p&gt;Literally I&amp;#x27;ve done thousands of workouts and have never regretted one, yet every time there&amp;#x27;s this negotiation to not do it. I am connecting that to your &amp;quot;reality is different 100% of the time&amp;quot; point.</text></comment>