<story><title>Surviving Depression</title><url>https://vishnu.tech/posts/surviving-depression/</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>notokay</author><text>&amp;gt;unless you&amp;#x27;re violent or suicidal.&lt;p&gt;Yes, and if you are suicidal, police will throw you in a jail. Or worse - in a psychiatric hospital. And you are gonna be fired from work and will be even more miserable than before.&lt;p&gt;There is no help for men with depression. Even if you ask for it, you have to keep lying and downplaying your symptoms, so no one would think you are really depressed.</text></item><item><author>tetha</author><text>Also, they are trained and educated to recognize if this doesn&amp;#x27;t work. Speaking from experience there.&lt;p&gt;They&amp;#x27;ll try to gain trust, which is necessary. Actual licensed therapists have two things going in there. You can go and meet them in private. And they are legally forbidden from telling on you to anyone, unless you&amp;#x27;re violent or suicidal. They will throw years and years of studies away if they give away you secrets.&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, you&amp;#x27;ll be asked what you&amp;#x27;re struggling with. This can take a session or three. That&amp;#x27;s normal because it takes time to gain trust and open up. Though they&amp;#x27;ll gather data during these sessions, too. After all, you don&amp;#x27;t end up sitting in a therapists office because you&amp;#x27;re doing great.&lt;p&gt;And they do know a number of different behaviors that end up being problematic beyond a certain scale. But it can be refreshing to talk to someone just knowning your bug.&lt;p&gt;I knew I was writing too much by paragraph 2. But I&amp;#x27;m submitting this anyway.</text></item><item><author>cjhveal</author><text>It took me a long time after taking that leap of faith into therapy to learn that the most valuable part of psychotherapy is not information or advice but it is the therapist-client relationship itself. You need to internalize their advice and techniques (as OP managed to do on their own), and therapy is about creating a facilitative environment to alter that conception of self.&lt;p&gt;In therapy, you are unconditionally accepted with positive regard, which facilitates viewing yourself more clearly without the need to lean on self-defeating coping mechanisms, like self-pity or shifting blame. As social creatures we instinctively perform a lot of mirroring of others&amp;#x27; mental state, so simply by being accepted we are able to try on what it is like to accept ourselves. It&amp;#x27;s leveraging an additional set of tools baked into us at a deep level to build self awareness and a more positive, realistic self model.&lt;p&gt;If you&amp;#x27;re struggling, I&amp;#x27;d like to echo others and strongly recommend you reach out to a psychiatrist and psychologist if they are within reach for you. Take OP as an example that it is possible to change, but please explore all the resources available to you so that you can explore what works for you.&lt;p&gt;That being said, thank you to Vishnu for sharing some of your struggles and how you&amp;#x27;ve managed to find ways to improve. It really helps to be talking publicly about these issues.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>arkades</author><text>We don&amp;#x27;t throw anyone in jail for being suicidal. We don&amp;#x27;t throw people into psych hospitals unless they&amp;#x27;re at imminent risk of successfully committing suicide - we don&amp;#x27;t do admits just for suicidal ideation. One of the first things you learn, even as a med student, is how to distinguish between &amp;quot;this person needs help&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;hide the sharp objects.&amp;quot; That said, some patients &lt;i&gt;are&lt;/i&gt; in the &amp;quot;hide the sharp objects&amp;quot; zone - and they get hospitalized to make sure they don&amp;#x27;t die.&lt;p&gt;You are creating an exaggerated worst-case scenario that, luckily, means you don&amp;#x27;t have to change or risk vulnerability or anything. Unluckily, your safe space sounds like a pit of shit. Depression will do that to you.&lt;p&gt;Please reach out to a professional &amp;amp; get help. You&amp;#x27;ll be shocked how much better you can feel in just a few months.</text></comment>
<story><title>Surviving Depression</title><url>https://vishnu.tech/posts/surviving-depression/</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>notokay</author><text>&amp;gt;unless you&amp;#x27;re violent or suicidal.&lt;p&gt;Yes, and if you are suicidal, police will throw you in a jail. Or worse - in a psychiatric hospital. And you are gonna be fired from work and will be even more miserable than before.&lt;p&gt;There is no help for men with depression. Even if you ask for it, you have to keep lying and downplaying your symptoms, so no one would think you are really depressed.</text></item><item><author>tetha</author><text>Also, they are trained and educated to recognize if this doesn&amp;#x27;t work. Speaking from experience there.&lt;p&gt;They&amp;#x27;ll try to gain trust, which is necessary. Actual licensed therapists have two things going in there. You can go and meet them in private. And they are legally forbidden from telling on you to anyone, unless you&amp;#x27;re violent or suicidal. They will throw years and years of studies away if they give away you secrets.&lt;p&gt;Beyond that, you&amp;#x27;ll be asked what you&amp;#x27;re struggling with. This can take a session or three. That&amp;#x27;s normal because it takes time to gain trust and open up. Though they&amp;#x27;ll gather data during these sessions, too. After all, you don&amp;#x27;t end up sitting in a therapists office because you&amp;#x27;re doing great.&lt;p&gt;And they do know a number of different behaviors that end up being problematic beyond a certain scale. But it can be refreshing to talk to someone just knowning your bug.&lt;p&gt;I knew I was writing too much by paragraph 2. But I&amp;#x27;m submitting this anyway.</text></item><item><author>cjhveal</author><text>It took me a long time after taking that leap of faith into therapy to learn that the most valuable part of psychotherapy is not information or advice but it is the therapist-client relationship itself. You need to internalize their advice and techniques (as OP managed to do on their own), and therapy is about creating a facilitative environment to alter that conception of self.&lt;p&gt;In therapy, you are unconditionally accepted with positive regard, which facilitates viewing yourself more clearly without the need to lean on self-defeating coping mechanisms, like self-pity or shifting blame. As social creatures we instinctively perform a lot of mirroring of others&amp;#x27; mental state, so simply by being accepted we are able to try on what it is like to accept ourselves. It&amp;#x27;s leveraging an additional set of tools baked into us at a deep level to build self awareness and a more positive, realistic self model.&lt;p&gt;If you&amp;#x27;re struggling, I&amp;#x27;d like to echo others and strongly recommend you reach out to a psychiatrist and psychologist if they are within reach for you. Take OP as an example that it is possible to change, but please explore all the resources available to you so that you can explore what works for you.&lt;p&gt;That being said, thank you to Vishnu for sharing some of your struggles and how you&amp;#x27;ve managed to find ways to improve. It really helps to be talking publicly about these issues.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>bloodorange</author><text>Mate, if your message may have something to do with your username, I do hope things get better for you and I hope you find the resources you need for things to get better.</text></comment>