<story><title>MDMA and the Quest for Connection in a Fractured World</title><url>https://undark.org/2023/09/22/book-review-the-long-strange-history-of-mdma/</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>empath-nirvana</author><text>I literally think that MDMA saved my life.  I was absolutely _broken_ when I came out of high school -- bullied at home and at school just relentlessly for 12 years.  Completely unable to relate to other human beings, afraid of being touched, never had a girl friend or any kind of real friendship.&lt;p&gt;Going to rave and having people -- strangers! -- just hug me, and listen to me, and I&amp;#x27;d listen to them and we could just talk to each other like normal people without this undercurrent of constant anxiety and fear of rejection.  It was a miracle to me.  And I mean that in both the banal sense and the religious sense.  It wasn&amp;#x27;t just the interpersonal aspects of it, but like -- having these feelings of joy and happiness and seeing the beauty of the world wash over me in almost an overwhelming way despite the fact that absolutely _nothing_ had really changed about the world made me understand how much of my own unhappiness was internal, that i could _choose_ to see the world in a better light all the time -- not just when I was on drugs, but at any time, it was just a matter of perspective, and something that you have some level of control over.&lt;p&gt;I went from being someone who was almost completely isolated and withdrawn to learning how to DJ, to DJing at the _very same club_ that opened the world to me.  I had a girlfriend within a few months, I had dozens of friends, I had a better paying job within a year, largely through connections I made at the club.  I honestly think I&amp;#x27;d have just turned into a homeless alcoholic or something without that experience.  I have a hard time even imagining where I&amp;#x27;d have ended up.  I barely recognize the person that walked into that club the first night.&lt;p&gt;It&amp;#x27;s a tragedy that this drug isn&amp;#x27;t available to more people.  I overdid it.  A lot of people over did it, but 20 years later I don&amp;#x27;t regret any of it for a moment, even the bad nights.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>SeanAnderson</author><text>My experiences echo this nearly to a T.&lt;p&gt;I skipped a few grades in school and became a social outcast. I was hazed out of one school entirely and sort of gave up on understanding people for a while. My first experience on MDMA was like a physical light switch was flicked on inside of my body. I went from only wearing black&amp;#x2F;white&amp;#x2F;gray clothes to being the one known to wear loud colors and really putting myself out there visually and socially. I ended up feeling the need to move away from my home town because I felt &amp;quot;too popular.&amp;quot; I couldn&amp;#x27;t go for a run without someone stopping on the side of the street to offer me a ride to wherever. This sort of behavior continued into music festivals where I learned to manage and lead large scale groups of ~strangers in tough environments&amp;#x2F;confusing mindsets.&lt;p&gt;I thought these skills wouldn&amp;#x27;t prove valuable in the work world, but, to my elation and surprise, it was the opposite. A lot of engineers are really smart but a bit weaker on the political and social side of things. I undoubtedly nuked a few brain cells acquiring all these experiences, but hey I can still code just fine &lt;i&gt;and&lt;/i&gt; now I love getting in there, talking to people about their feelings and communicating about how I am feeling, and do so with a belief that others are interested in hearing&amp;#x2F;seeing me.&lt;p&gt;10&amp;#x2F;10 would do it all over again.</text></comment>
<story><title>MDMA and the Quest for Connection in a Fractured World</title><url>https://undark.org/2023/09/22/book-review-the-long-strange-history-of-mdma/</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>empath-nirvana</author><text>I literally think that MDMA saved my life.  I was absolutely _broken_ when I came out of high school -- bullied at home and at school just relentlessly for 12 years.  Completely unable to relate to other human beings, afraid of being touched, never had a girl friend or any kind of real friendship.&lt;p&gt;Going to rave and having people -- strangers! -- just hug me, and listen to me, and I&amp;#x27;d listen to them and we could just talk to each other like normal people without this undercurrent of constant anxiety and fear of rejection.  It was a miracle to me.  And I mean that in both the banal sense and the religious sense.  It wasn&amp;#x27;t just the interpersonal aspects of it, but like -- having these feelings of joy and happiness and seeing the beauty of the world wash over me in almost an overwhelming way despite the fact that absolutely _nothing_ had really changed about the world made me understand how much of my own unhappiness was internal, that i could _choose_ to see the world in a better light all the time -- not just when I was on drugs, but at any time, it was just a matter of perspective, and something that you have some level of control over.&lt;p&gt;I went from being someone who was almost completely isolated and withdrawn to learning how to DJ, to DJing at the _very same club_ that opened the world to me.  I had a girlfriend within a few months, I had dozens of friends, I had a better paying job within a year, largely through connections I made at the club.  I honestly think I&amp;#x27;d have just turned into a homeless alcoholic or something without that experience.  I have a hard time even imagining where I&amp;#x27;d have ended up.  I barely recognize the person that walked into that club the first night.&lt;p&gt;It&amp;#x27;s a tragedy that this drug isn&amp;#x27;t available to more people.  I overdid it.  A lot of people over did it, but 20 years later I don&amp;#x27;t regret any of it for a moment, even the bad nights.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>davidguetta</author><text>Really good experience myself here.&lt;p&gt;The key overall is always to not abuse and that should be adressed by education, not just mindlessly prohibit everything (even tho it&amp;#x27;s not too bad to forbid stuff somethimes).</text></comment>