<story><title>How to Be Someone People Love to Talk To (2015)</title><url>http://time.com/3722418/become-someone-people-love-talk/</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>rrherr</author><text>Yes! My favorite tactic to get people talking about themselves comes from Paul Ford:&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;Just ask the other person what they do, and right after they tell you, say: “Wow. That sounds hard.”&lt;p&gt;Because nearly everyone in the world believes their job to be difficult. I once went to a party and met a very beautiful woman whose job was to help celebrities wear Harry Winston jewelry. I could tell that she was disappointed to be introduced to this rumpled giant in an off-brand shirt, but when I told her that her job sounded difficult to me she brightened and spoke for 30 straight minutes about sapphires and Jessica Simpson. She kept touching me as she talked. I forgave her for that. I didn’t reveal a single detail about myself, including my name. Eventually someone pulled me back into the party. The celebrity jewelry coordinator smiled and grabbed my hand and said, “I like you!” She seemed so relieved to have unburdened herself. I counted it as a great accomplishment. Maybe a hundred times since I’ve said, “wow, that sounds hard” to a stranger, always to great effect. I stay home with my kids and have no life left to me, so take this party trick, my gift to you.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https:&amp;#x2F;&amp;#x2F;medium.com&amp;#x2F;message&amp;#x2F;how-to-be-polite-9bf1e69e888c&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https:&amp;#x2F;&amp;#x2F;medium.com&amp;#x2F;message&amp;#x2F;how-to-be-polite-9bf1e69e888c&lt;/a&gt;</text></item><item><author>tyingq</author><text>The best bit of advice in the article:&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;The right question is “How do I get them talking about themselves?“&lt;/i&gt;&lt;p&gt;I&amp;#x27;ve noticed that even if the only thing you do is ask someone their opinion, and listen attentively, there is some sort of distortion field effect.&lt;p&gt;They will often later recall you as knowledgeable, insightful, etc...even though you never did anything but ask questions.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>bnjms</author><text>What a lovely little piece with some delightful quotes. Thank you for sharing.&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;I’ve found that people will fear your enthusiasm and warmth, and wait to hear the price. Which is fair. We’ve all been drawn into someone’s love only to find out that we couldn’t afford it.&lt;/i&gt;</text></comment>
<story><title>How to Be Someone People Love to Talk To (2015)</title><url>http://time.com/3722418/become-someone-people-love-talk/</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>rrherr</author><text>Yes! My favorite tactic to get people talking about themselves comes from Paul Ford:&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;Just ask the other person what they do, and right after they tell you, say: “Wow. That sounds hard.”&lt;p&gt;Because nearly everyone in the world believes their job to be difficult. I once went to a party and met a very beautiful woman whose job was to help celebrities wear Harry Winston jewelry. I could tell that she was disappointed to be introduced to this rumpled giant in an off-brand shirt, but when I told her that her job sounded difficult to me she brightened and spoke for 30 straight minutes about sapphires and Jessica Simpson. She kept touching me as she talked. I forgave her for that. I didn’t reveal a single detail about myself, including my name. Eventually someone pulled me back into the party. The celebrity jewelry coordinator smiled and grabbed my hand and said, “I like you!” She seemed so relieved to have unburdened herself. I counted it as a great accomplishment. Maybe a hundred times since I’ve said, “wow, that sounds hard” to a stranger, always to great effect. I stay home with my kids and have no life left to me, so take this party trick, my gift to you.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https:&amp;#x2F;&amp;#x2F;medium.com&amp;#x2F;message&amp;#x2F;how-to-be-polite-9bf1e69e888c&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https:&amp;#x2F;&amp;#x2F;medium.com&amp;#x2F;message&amp;#x2F;how-to-be-polite-9bf1e69e888c&lt;/a&gt;</text></item><item><author>tyingq</author><text>The best bit of advice in the article:&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;The right question is “How do I get them talking about themselves?“&lt;/i&gt;&lt;p&gt;I&amp;#x27;ve noticed that even if the only thing you do is ask someone their opinion, and listen attentively, there is some sort of distortion field effect.&lt;p&gt;They will often later recall you as knowledgeable, insightful, etc...even though you never did anything but ask questions.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>hoodoof</author><text>Well I wasn&amp;#x27;t there of course, but all things being equal, if a woman at a party touches you whilst talking, is animated in her discussion, and goes to the trouble of saying out loud that she likes you, well usually that&amp;#x27;s a good sign that a person is &amp;quot;interested&amp;quot;.&lt;p&gt;Maybe you&amp;#x27;re in a relationship, maybe you weren&amp;#x27;t interested anyway but she might have wanted to get your phone number.</text></comment>