<story><title>Stop Telling Everyone What You Do for a Living</title><url>https://www.wsj.com/articles/stop-telling-everyone-what-you-do-for-a-living-5daa8fc9</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>verelo</author><text>I try play a game when i meet a new person: see how long i can go without discussing work with them. The best new connections tend to take the longest to reach work, it’s often a signal of a lazy conversation starter and like you said just an attempt to size up our social status.</text></item><item><author>version_five</author><text>When I did my PhD I hated it when (most) people asked about my research. It&amp;#x27;s not because I wasn&amp;#x27;t interested, it&amp;#x27;s because I&amp;#x27;m really interested and was (still am) bad at giving concise summaries, so I felt like people who really didn&amp;#x27;t care and wouldn&amp;#x27;t listen to the answer were asking me to embark on a long explanation that required a bunch of preamble etc, just in order to make conversation.&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I feel largely the same about work. I love talking about what I do, but not with people who aren&amp;#x27;t listening and who are just asking to form an opinion of my social status. So 9 times out of 10 I just sort of mumble something and talk about something else, just like in grad school.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>jraph</author><text>&amp;gt; it’s often a signal of a lazy conversation starter&lt;p&gt;But this is fine, no? If it helps start a more enjoyable discussion afterwards. When you don&amp;#x27;t know the ones you are speaking with at all.&lt;p&gt;Though I indeed avoid focusing on work when starting a conversation. I usually try to phrase the question as &amp;quot;What do you do in your life?&amp;quot;, which is more general and allows answering hobbies. I&amp;#x27;m more interested in what people like than what they are possibly forced to do to fund it, or their opinions. Usually people &lt;i&gt;will&lt;/i&gt; answer their what they do for a living but they will get another, more explicit question. I&amp;#x27;m interested in knowing whether they will indeed answer by what they do for a living though.&lt;p&gt;And if they do something meaningful or enjoying for their living, it&amp;#x27;s actually interesting.</text></comment>
<story><title>Stop Telling Everyone What You Do for a Living</title><url>https://www.wsj.com/articles/stop-telling-everyone-what-you-do-for-a-living-5daa8fc9</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>verelo</author><text>I try play a game when i meet a new person: see how long i can go without discussing work with them. The best new connections tend to take the longest to reach work, it’s often a signal of a lazy conversation starter and like you said just an attempt to size up our social status.</text></item><item><author>version_five</author><text>When I did my PhD I hated it when (most) people asked about my research. It&amp;#x27;s not because I wasn&amp;#x27;t interested, it&amp;#x27;s because I&amp;#x27;m really interested and was (still am) bad at giving concise summaries, so I felt like people who really didn&amp;#x27;t care and wouldn&amp;#x27;t listen to the answer were asking me to embark on a long explanation that required a bunch of preamble etc, just in order to make conversation.&lt;p&gt;Anyway, I feel largely the same about work. I love talking about what I do, but not with people who aren&amp;#x27;t listening and who are just asking to form an opinion of my social status. So 9 times out of 10 I just sort of mumble something and talk about something else, just like in grad school.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>plagiarist</author><text>I have some anxiety so I recognize it as people looking for a safe topic in hopes of striking some common ground. It is still lazy conversation skills and boring for everyone involved. I wish I wasn&amp;#x27;t like that, but inferring from past events I won&amp;#x27;t change any time soon.</text></comment>