<story><title>Highest rates of teen bullying are between friends and friends-of-friends: study</title><url>https://www.ucdavis.edu/news/most-teen-bullying-occurs-among-peers-climbing-social-ladder</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>underwater</author><text>I&amp;#x27;m increasingly of the opinion that grouping school children with others kids their age is hugely damaging.&lt;p&gt;The major figures in most kid&amp;#x27;s lives are parents and teachers, who are in an authority position; siblings, who have a complex relationship that often turns competitive; and their school friends.&lt;p&gt;Kids are missing a chance to socialise with children who are older than them, learn from adults who are not in an authority role, and to care for and mentor younger children.&lt;p&gt;Instead they spend all their time with other kids who are have they exact same emotionally immaturity as they do. You get feedback loops of bad behaviour, and put them in bubbles where their peers and their psychopathic games (like bullying) make up 100% of their reality.&lt;p&gt;The only consistent counterpoint I can think of are cousins, who are typically slightly older or younger, and are outside of kids&amp;#x27; normal peer groups. As a result these are often very positive relationships.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>msluyter</author><text>I&amp;#x27;ve often thought this -- age stratification to our current degree is a relatively new (20th century?) phenomenon, and seems under-studied. I think the awareness came to my mind when I went to a number of mixed polka&amp;#x2F;swing dances back in like 1999 put on by the local Czech center. It was a rare mix of seniors doing traditional polka side by side with college students (who were brought in by the swing dancing) along with other adults, their kids, 5 year olds running around, etc... And then we&amp;#x27;d do goofy dances like the Hokey Pokey or the Chicken Dance. (This was via the eclectic and fun band, &amp;quot;Brave Combo.&amp;quot;) The entire mix felt weirdly... healthy.&lt;p&gt;One reason we chose a private girl&amp;#x27;s school for our daughter is that, along with traditional (horizontal) grades, it has &amp;quot;sister groups,&amp;quot; which are vertical slices of girls from varying grade levels. These meet and socialize throughout the year.</text></comment>
<story><title>Highest rates of teen bullying are between friends and friends-of-friends: study</title><url>https://www.ucdavis.edu/news/most-teen-bullying-occurs-among-peers-climbing-social-ladder</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>underwater</author><text>I&amp;#x27;m increasingly of the opinion that grouping school children with others kids their age is hugely damaging.&lt;p&gt;The major figures in most kid&amp;#x27;s lives are parents and teachers, who are in an authority position; siblings, who have a complex relationship that often turns competitive; and their school friends.&lt;p&gt;Kids are missing a chance to socialise with children who are older than them, learn from adults who are not in an authority role, and to care for and mentor younger children.&lt;p&gt;Instead they spend all their time with other kids who are have they exact same emotionally immaturity as they do. You get feedback loops of bad behaviour, and put them in bubbles where their peers and their psychopathic games (like bullying) make up 100% of their reality.&lt;p&gt;The only consistent counterpoint I can think of are cousins, who are typically slightly older or younger, and are outside of kids&amp;#x27; normal peer groups. As a result these are often very positive relationships.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>vinceguidry</author><text>You know I really think you&amp;#x27;re on to something there. I distinctly remember being in middle school and not wanting to associate with anyone my age. Few years older, great, few years younger, great. But it just wasn&amp;#x27;t pleasant to try to maintain friendships with my peers. The constant social competitiveness just really irked me. I always preferred one-on-one socializing rather than groups. If I didn&amp;#x27;t like how one of my older friends was treating me, well, I didn&amp;#x27;t have to knock on his door for awhile.&lt;p&gt;And when I started bullying the younger kids I would hang out with, I was able to reflect on it later and stop being such an ass. Course, it would come out anyway, but not being trapped in one single group of friends and having to derive my social identity from that made it much easier to self-adjust. Looking back on those years, it&amp;#x27;s pretty obvious now just how much of what I experienced back then was that pecking order mindset.</text></comment>