<story><title>Sex Differences in Friendship Preferences</title><url>https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S109051382100074X</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>snarf21</author><text>It is definitely hard to make friends as an adult male. Most of mine at this point are ex-coworkers. I think the one under appreciated place is in a hobby. I design and play board games. There are lots of meaningful ways to build relationships around that. Most other hobbies are the same, however you have to really get into the hobby, not go once a month. Running clubs, photography groups, cooking classes, hiking clubs.... just find something and dive in until you find the right thing for you.&lt;p&gt;Also, When Harry Met Sally was right. Men and women can&amp;#x27;t be friends. &lt;i&gt;Eventually&lt;/i&gt; the sex gets in the way. Speaking for my self, men tend to confuse all closeness with romantic intimacy. I&amp;#x27;ve never seen even explicitly sex buddies work either, sooner or later someone gets jealous or serious.</text></item><item><author>d4nt</author><text>I’m a 42 year old male and have found it very hard, my whole life, to establish meaningful friendships with other men.&lt;p&gt;I have many acquaintances, I’m not shy or socially awkward. E.g. When I was running a business I would often go to business networking events alone, start conversations with people,  establish a rapport and spend hours chatting, but all those interactions have essentially left me with one good friend.&lt;p&gt;I’ve often found it easier to establish friendships with women, but (being straight) they get complicated. Either I develop feelings, or they do, or there’s a suspicion from someone’s parter about the real nature of our relationship. It’s just too problematic.&lt;p&gt;I think the female “model” of friendships outlined in the abstract just makes more sense to me. “emotional support, intimacy, and useful social information” is what I want from a friendship.&lt;p&gt;I suspect there are other men in this position and that the dominant male “model” of friendship that we have (and which is outlined in this article) is more cultural than biological. But I have no proof. What do you think?</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>yojo</author><text>I (straight male) have several close friends that are women, some going back two decades. I’ve been happily married for 12 years, they’ve all been in stable relationships, and our partners get along.&lt;p&gt;It is possible that &lt;i&gt;some&lt;/i&gt; men or women cannot be just friends with the opposite sex, but I have at least one counterfactual for the universal claim.</text></comment>
<story><title>Sex Differences in Friendship Preferences</title><url>https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S109051382100074X</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>snarf21</author><text>It is definitely hard to make friends as an adult male. Most of mine at this point are ex-coworkers. I think the one under appreciated place is in a hobby. I design and play board games. There are lots of meaningful ways to build relationships around that. Most other hobbies are the same, however you have to really get into the hobby, not go once a month. Running clubs, photography groups, cooking classes, hiking clubs.... just find something and dive in until you find the right thing for you.&lt;p&gt;Also, When Harry Met Sally was right. Men and women can&amp;#x27;t be friends. &lt;i&gt;Eventually&lt;/i&gt; the sex gets in the way. Speaking for my self, men tend to confuse all closeness with romantic intimacy. I&amp;#x27;ve never seen even explicitly sex buddies work either, sooner or later someone gets jealous or serious.</text></item><item><author>d4nt</author><text>I’m a 42 year old male and have found it very hard, my whole life, to establish meaningful friendships with other men.&lt;p&gt;I have many acquaintances, I’m not shy or socially awkward. E.g. When I was running a business I would often go to business networking events alone, start conversations with people,  establish a rapport and spend hours chatting, but all those interactions have essentially left me with one good friend.&lt;p&gt;I’ve often found it easier to establish friendships with women, but (being straight) they get complicated. Either I develop feelings, or they do, or there’s a suspicion from someone’s parter about the real nature of our relationship. It’s just too problematic.&lt;p&gt;I think the female “model” of friendships outlined in the abstract just makes more sense to me. “emotional support, intimacy, and useful social information” is what I want from a friendship.&lt;p&gt;I suspect there are other men in this position and that the dominant male “model” of friendship that we have (and which is outlined in this article) is more cultural than biological. But I have no proof. What do you think?</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>pdpi</author><text>I’m a straight man, one of my best friends is a straight woman, and we’ve known each other for 20 years. By best friend, I mean we talk almost daily, go to each other for advice and emotional support, and are comfortable discussing &lt;i&gt;very&lt;/i&gt; intimate details about our personal lives.&lt;p&gt;The idea of a sexual relationship with her is just gross, though, in the “I’m screwing my sister” sort of way.</text></comment>