<story><title>Life before smartphones (2020)</title><url>https://mattruby.substack.com/p/the-most-unbelievable-things-about</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>oceanghost</author><text>I wanted to say this. I hate how small the world has become and how we&amp;#x27;re supposed to be &amp;quot;reachable&amp;quot; all the time.&lt;p&gt;Some of my friends will freak out if I don&amp;#x27;t text back in as little as 5 minutes. A particular needy friend once tried to get me to &amp;quot;promise&amp;quot; that I would always return her texts within 10 minutes.&lt;p&gt;I said &amp;quot;hard no&amp;quot; explaining that it meant that it meant that I could never watch a movie uninterrupted, read a book, take a nap, etc. Also, Driving. I don&amp;#x27;t answer texts while I&amp;#x27;m driving because I &lt;i&gt;literally&lt;/i&gt; got in an accident texting (it was a freak circumstance, but these things do happen).&lt;p&gt;I have purposefully started training my friends by being erratic with my texts&amp;#x2F;messages&amp;#x2F;e-mails.&lt;p&gt;I have another friend who always calls on his commute home and gets offended when I don&amp;#x27;t answer. The idea alone that someone is obligated to answer the phone is insane. What if I don&amp;#x27;t want to spend an hour shooting the shit with you because I&amp;#x27;m doing something else?&lt;p&gt;I miss the days when I could just walk away from contact.</text></item><item><author>rapnie</author><text>And he doesn&amp;#x27;t even mention that you could just be outside, and be unreachable and not able to reach other people too.&lt;p&gt;As a kid I used to play outside a lot, and my mother had no clue where I was, nor could she easily find out. I could be outside all day without her worrying that I&amp;#x27;d be abducted or involved in an accident.&lt;p&gt;Now that all has &lt;i&gt;completely&lt;/i&gt; changed, and my mother has too. Some years ago when I walked into the hallway of my house I coincidentally noticed a lot of people in front of my door. So I opened it, and it was the police that was about to bust the door with a battering ram. As it happened I hadn&amp;#x27;t answered my phone in a couple of hours. After multiple calls unanswered, my mom had called 911 on me. And my doorbell was broken, police didn&amp;#x27;t even knock.. they wanted the action, probably.&lt;p&gt;I was just freaking programming with the deep-work-destroying phone thingy on silence (where it should be most of the time, imho).</text></item><item><author>krylon</author><text>Now I feel old. I remember vividly running around with my first camera, looking for objects worthy of being photographed. The film cost money, so did developing it into pictures. I really had to weigh the pros and cons of taking a particular picture. And in a class of ~25 kids, I was one of three who owned a camera. Not that it was such a luxury item, but most people weren&amp;#x27;t into that.&lt;p&gt;These days, (nearly) everyone carries a camera around all the time, and one that is quite probably much better than the one I had in 1992. They can take dozens, even hundreds of pictures without breaking a sweat, and it does not cost anything.&lt;p&gt;Nostalgia is a very warped mirror. Back then, I did not miss the ability to take dozens of pictures at no cost, because the option did not exist. Was it better? Worse? Neither, I think. But this is the first time I feel old and appreciate it for the history I have lived through. Getting old is weird, but it sure is interesting. (For reference, I&amp;#x27;m 40. &amp;quot;That&amp;#x27;s not &lt;i&gt;old&lt;/i&gt;&amp;quot;, I hear someone say, but I have never been this old before, so for me it&amp;#x27;s all new.)</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>hughrr</author><text>My ex wife was like that. One reason she&amp;#x27;s an ex wife. I lost a job due to her once because she phoned the office after I didn&amp;#x27;t respond to an SMS while I was in a very tough meeting with a client.&lt;p&gt;I now have my phone on do not disturb 24&amp;#x2F;7. I will choose when I participate in messaging. I also disable iMessage on my Mac. If someone comes up to me and talks to me, I may not even respond immediately.&lt;p&gt;I took this to extremes and a couple of weekends back I actually went for a day long solo hike with zero technology with me at all past a torch, map, compass and alcohol stove. I didn&amp;#x27;t even have any way of telling the time with me. It was invigorating with the obligation to communicate and steal my attention removed. What was most surprising was the removal of a camera and watch. Rather than being focused on recording my journey and keeping to a schedule I was focused on enjoying it. This has led to considerably more vivid memories and a much higher level of satisfaction. A trip I will always remember.</text></comment>
<story><title>Life before smartphones (2020)</title><url>https://mattruby.substack.com/p/the-most-unbelievable-things-about</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>oceanghost</author><text>I wanted to say this. I hate how small the world has become and how we&amp;#x27;re supposed to be &amp;quot;reachable&amp;quot; all the time.&lt;p&gt;Some of my friends will freak out if I don&amp;#x27;t text back in as little as 5 minutes. A particular needy friend once tried to get me to &amp;quot;promise&amp;quot; that I would always return her texts within 10 minutes.&lt;p&gt;I said &amp;quot;hard no&amp;quot; explaining that it meant that it meant that I could never watch a movie uninterrupted, read a book, take a nap, etc. Also, Driving. I don&amp;#x27;t answer texts while I&amp;#x27;m driving because I &lt;i&gt;literally&lt;/i&gt; got in an accident texting (it was a freak circumstance, but these things do happen).&lt;p&gt;I have purposefully started training my friends by being erratic with my texts&amp;#x2F;messages&amp;#x2F;e-mails.&lt;p&gt;I have another friend who always calls on his commute home and gets offended when I don&amp;#x27;t answer. The idea alone that someone is obligated to answer the phone is insane. What if I don&amp;#x27;t want to spend an hour shooting the shit with you because I&amp;#x27;m doing something else?&lt;p&gt;I miss the days when I could just walk away from contact.</text></item><item><author>rapnie</author><text>And he doesn&amp;#x27;t even mention that you could just be outside, and be unreachable and not able to reach other people too.&lt;p&gt;As a kid I used to play outside a lot, and my mother had no clue where I was, nor could she easily find out. I could be outside all day without her worrying that I&amp;#x27;d be abducted or involved in an accident.&lt;p&gt;Now that all has &lt;i&gt;completely&lt;/i&gt; changed, and my mother has too. Some years ago when I walked into the hallway of my house I coincidentally noticed a lot of people in front of my door. So I opened it, and it was the police that was about to bust the door with a battering ram. As it happened I hadn&amp;#x27;t answered my phone in a couple of hours. After multiple calls unanswered, my mom had called 911 on me. And my doorbell was broken, police didn&amp;#x27;t even knock.. they wanted the action, probably.&lt;p&gt;I was just freaking programming with the deep-work-destroying phone thingy on silence (where it should be most of the time, imho).</text></item><item><author>krylon</author><text>Now I feel old. I remember vividly running around with my first camera, looking for objects worthy of being photographed. The film cost money, so did developing it into pictures. I really had to weigh the pros and cons of taking a particular picture. And in a class of ~25 kids, I was one of three who owned a camera. Not that it was such a luxury item, but most people weren&amp;#x27;t into that.&lt;p&gt;These days, (nearly) everyone carries a camera around all the time, and one that is quite probably much better than the one I had in 1992. They can take dozens, even hundreds of pictures without breaking a sweat, and it does not cost anything.&lt;p&gt;Nostalgia is a very warped mirror. Back then, I did not miss the ability to take dozens of pictures at no cost, because the option did not exist. Was it better? Worse? Neither, I think. But this is the first time I feel old and appreciate it for the history I have lived through. Getting old is weird, but it sure is interesting. (For reference, I&amp;#x27;m 40. &amp;quot;That&amp;#x27;s not &lt;i&gt;old&lt;/i&gt;&amp;quot;, I hear someone say, but I have never been this old before, so for me it&amp;#x27;s all new.)</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>Fr0styMatt88</author><text>This is something I&amp;#x27;ve been personally trying to get better at.  As someone who did a lot of instant messaging in the 90s (think ICQ and IRC) I would think nothing of shooting off texts to people whenever I felt like it via SMS.  There was never an expectation of immediately being answered back then and I always thought of messaging as &amp;#x27;write it while you remember and don&amp;#x27;t expect a response until whenever&amp;#x27;.  If something was truly urgent I&amp;#x27;d call.&lt;p&gt;Except that&amp;#x27;s not how other people would perceive it.  I&amp;#x27;ve since learned that it can be incredibly annoying to others, to the point where some people would actually get distressed thinking they would have to answer the texts.  Couple that with a bad habit of sending many short texts (it&amp;#x27;s how you&amp;#x27;d write on messaging in the old days) and you have one REALLY REALLY ANNOYING FRIEND (regrettably I was that annoying friend).&lt;p&gt;So I guess I just want to apologize profusely from the other side of the fence.  I&amp;#x27;m trying to be much more mindful these days about whether that chit-chat message REALLY needs to be sent RIGHT NOW, or can it just wait for a conversation at a later time?&lt;p&gt;I&amp;#x27;m trying to be much more self-aware in this regard.</text></comment>