<story><title>The Department of Homeland Security Stole My Boat Today</title><url>http://uncrunched.com/2013/02/21/the-department-of-homeland-security-stole-my-boat-today/</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>javajosh</author><text>Ah, procedure. I&apos;m particularly fond of situations like this where the procedure is, for the normal person, a once-in-a-lifetime event. But the flunky on the other side of the desk does it every day. And they think you are yet another stupid person who doesn&apos;t understand the simple procedure, and they have nothing but contempt for those who don&apos;t understand the procedure as deeply as they do (especially which parts of the paperwork are important, and which really are not.)&lt;p&gt;Nestled deep within this fucked up situation is an asymmetry of information that gives the flunky incredible power over someone who is, in almost every other context, perceived to be better than they are (especially in this case involving a young rich kid with an expensive toy). Most human beings, when confronted with such an imbalance of power, are not going to be able to resist abusing their power.&lt;p&gt;In practical terms, there are only two solutions to this problem that I know of. You can learn the procedure better than they do, and beat them on details. This can be effective, but it&apos;s boring and the payoff isn&apos;t very good. The other solution is to be really, really nice. To be incredibly accommodating. To engender a spirit of goodwill, joviality and kindness such that the flunky &lt;i&gt;wants to help you&lt;/i&gt;. CHP officers call this the &quot;personality test&quot; - and they administer it every time you get pulled over, BTW.&lt;p&gt;It sucks. It&apos;s a form of psychic bribery. It&apos;s like they are saying, &quot;If you can at least pretend that I&apos;m a good person, just doing my job, then you won&apos;t have to suffer. However, if you annoy me, disrespect me, I will make you suffer like you&apos;ve never known. Remember: I can check a &lt;i&gt;box&lt;/i&gt; that will consume &lt;i&gt;months&lt;/i&gt; of your life and untold amounts of treasure.&quot;&lt;p&gt;God bless the USA.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>bd_at_rivenhill</author><text>&amp;#62; CHP officers call this the &quot;personality test&quot; - and they administer it every time you get pulled over, BTW.&lt;p&gt;This is pretty much true of all police agencies.  &quot;Contempt of cop&quot; is one of the worst offenses you can commit in terms of your likelihood of being punished for something minor.</text></comment>
<story><title>The Department of Homeland Security Stole My Boat Today</title><url>http://uncrunched.com/2013/02/21/the-department-of-homeland-security-stole-my-boat-today/</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>javajosh</author><text>Ah, procedure. I&apos;m particularly fond of situations like this where the procedure is, for the normal person, a once-in-a-lifetime event. But the flunky on the other side of the desk does it every day. And they think you are yet another stupid person who doesn&apos;t understand the simple procedure, and they have nothing but contempt for those who don&apos;t understand the procedure as deeply as they do (especially which parts of the paperwork are important, and which really are not.)&lt;p&gt;Nestled deep within this fucked up situation is an asymmetry of information that gives the flunky incredible power over someone who is, in almost every other context, perceived to be better than they are (especially in this case involving a young rich kid with an expensive toy). Most human beings, when confronted with such an imbalance of power, are not going to be able to resist abusing their power.&lt;p&gt;In practical terms, there are only two solutions to this problem that I know of. You can learn the procedure better than they do, and beat them on details. This can be effective, but it&apos;s boring and the payoff isn&apos;t very good. The other solution is to be really, really nice. To be incredibly accommodating. To engender a spirit of goodwill, joviality and kindness such that the flunky &lt;i&gt;wants to help you&lt;/i&gt;. CHP officers call this the &quot;personality test&quot; - and they administer it every time you get pulled over, BTW.&lt;p&gt;It sucks. It&apos;s a form of psychic bribery. It&apos;s like they are saying, &quot;If you can at least pretend that I&apos;m a good person, just doing my job, then you won&apos;t have to suffer. However, if you annoy me, disrespect me, I will make you suffer like you&apos;ve never known. Remember: I can check a &lt;i&gt;box&lt;/i&gt; that will consume &lt;i&gt;months&lt;/i&gt; of your life and untold amounts of treasure.&quot;&lt;p&gt;God bless the USA.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>snprbob86</author><text>&amp;#62; [T]he procedure is, for the normal person, a once-in-a-lifetime event. But the flunky on the other side of the desk does it every day.&lt;p&gt;I just had a TV delivered. And then a replacement delivered, but they were unauthorized to pick up the original, so the same two delivery guys had to come back a third time.&lt;p&gt;All three times, the delivery guys tried to force me to sign an incomplete form. They clearly wanted me to sign for whatever condition it was in and they would check all the boxes on my behalf to cover their own asses. The tactic was plainly obvious.&lt;p&gt;&amp;#62; The other solution is to be really, really nice. To be incredibly accommodating.&lt;p&gt;That&apos;s what I usually try to do in this sort of situation. However, it simply was &lt;i&gt;impossible&lt;/i&gt; because the delivery guys 1) were rather large and intimidating 2) in my home, where I&apos;m still unpacking and 3) spoke very poor english. Charm simply does not work on underpaid meatheads who don&apos;t understand the words your using. Any attempt to communicate clearly resulted in them becoming impatient and visibly annoyed, which resulted in me becoming uncomfortable (in my own home!). So each of the first two times, I just didn&apos;t sign my name. I just made an X that is in no way similar to my normal signature. The last time, for the pickup, I wrote &quot;PERFECT CONDITION&quot; over the whole form and then signed my name to that. The delivery guys were clearly &lt;i&gt;pissed&lt;/i&gt; that last time because they didn&apos;t have another form and that if they dropped the TV, then they couldn&apos;t blame damage on me.</text></comment>