<story><title>‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’</title><url>https://www.thecut.com/2018/11/im-broke-and-friendless-and-ive-wasted-my-whole-life.html</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>nostromo</author><text>I think the parents of many 20 and 30-somethings played a role in so many young(ish) adults failing to launch.&lt;p&gt;American parents could learn a thing or two about parenting from previous generations and from a lot of immigrant families: nobody owes you anything, plan for a rainy day, find a partner you love and commit to them, work hard, cherish friends and family even when it&amp;#x27;s difficult, etc.&lt;p&gt;I think parenting has over-corrected from the overly didactic and stern parenting of previous generations to endless &amp;quot;follow your bliss&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;you can do anything&amp;quot; -- which is causing a lot of young people to spin their wheels for decades at a time, never growing up while their body is growing old.  It&amp;#x27;s a shame to see.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>citilife</author><text>&amp;gt; decades at a time&lt;p&gt;I think we&amp;#x27;re seeing the result of the baby boomer generation, essentially. They rejected the old, as you put it -- stern way of parenting. I&amp;#x27;d argue, perhaps it wasn&amp;#x27;t so much stern as it was the structured.&lt;p&gt;There was structure, expectations, and responsibilities. Things previous generates &lt;i&gt;required&lt;/i&gt; to live. Since then, we&amp;#x27;ve grown increasingly accustomed to insane amounts of wealth (or perhaps debt?).&lt;p&gt;This enabled us to lax our expectations, because you didn&amp;#x27;t need to be super disciplined to make the wealth.&lt;p&gt;The fact that we rebuffed the social norms has it&amp;#x27;s good and bad, unfortunately it does appear that we took it too far -- at least from a &amp;quot;you can do anything perspective&amp;quot;. Yes, you can do anything, but you have to work to get there. It appears a lot of people forget that last part and feel entitled to their wealth &amp;#x2F; place in society.</text></comment>
<story><title>‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’</title><url>https://www.thecut.com/2018/11/im-broke-and-friendless-and-ive-wasted-my-whole-life.html</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>nostromo</author><text>I think the parents of many 20 and 30-somethings played a role in so many young(ish) adults failing to launch.&lt;p&gt;American parents could learn a thing or two about parenting from previous generations and from a lot of immigrant families: nobody owes you anything, plan for a rainy day, find a partner you love and commit to them, work hard, cherish friends and family even when it&amp;#x27;s difficult, etc.&lt;p&gt;I think parenting has over-corrected from the overly didactic and stern parenting of previous generations to endless &amp;quot;follow your bliss&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;you can do anything&amp;quot; -- which is causing a lot of young people to spin their wheels for decades at a time, never growing up while their body is growing old.  It&amp;#x27;s a shame to see.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>freehunter</author><text>I feel similarly with the differences between me and my family vs my wife and her family. I grew up not desperately poor, but with only just enough money to get by. In the late 90s we had a computer, a basic Windows 95 machine with dial-up and about 1&amp;#x2F;4 of the RAM&amp;#x2F;CPU that modern machines had, but we had one. That&amp;#x27;s about all we had for modern comforts, which I think forced me to be laser-focused on one activity. There just wasn&amp;#x27;t a lot of opportunity for me anywhere else but the computer. If I decided I didn&amp;#x27;t like computers and wanted to be a painter, there was no way we were buying art supplies. I asked for a computer and I got it and that was all I was going to get.&lt;p&gt;My wife&amp;#x27;s family wasn&amp;#x27;t rich, but the parenting attitude was &amp;quot;whatever you want, follow your heart&amp;quot;. The kids had painting, sculpting, pianos, guitars, drums, dance lessons, soccer, karate, foreign language tutors, and anything else they desired. As soon as they got bored or frustrated, they quit and moved on to the next thing. The hope from the parents was if they were exposed to enough stuff, they&amp;#x27;d find their passion. Of the three kids, only my wife has a steady job, and only because I nearly broke up with her when she was job hopping while we were dating. The other siblings quit their jobs at the first sign of any real struggle and move back in with their parents. I believe it&amp;#x27;s because they&amp;#x27;ve never been forced to work past the uninteresting or difficult parts of any hobby or job in the past.&lt;p&gt;I don&amp;#x27;t know where the line should be drawn between giving kids every opportunity to find their passion versus making them stick with something they may not actually enjoy. I hope I figure that out before I have kids.</text></comment>