<story><title>Ask HN: How to continue to be gracious about the good fortune of rich friends?</title><text>I have no money. I do have rich friends who are getting richer and richer every year.&lt;p&gt;I try to be gracious and happy for their good fortune.&lt;p&gt;However it makes me depressed and angry and envious.&lt;p&gt;One friend told me a few days ago his house went up in value $1,000,000 in one year, at which point he sold it.&lt;p&gt;I visited my cousin who is a fabulous person and has a gorgeous house freshly renovated and extended and a new pool put it.&lt;p&gt;All around me my peers are becoming very wealthy.&lt;p&gt;And I’m at the bottom with nothing.&lt;p&gt;I try to be happy for them and gracious and to listen and enthuse whilst they tell me of their good fortune or show me around their stunning houses. And afterwards I feel smashed with depression as I go back to my shit rental house that I’m ashamed of.&lt;p&gt;Good people, great friends, and seeing them brings me down.&lt;p&gt;Rich people aren’t aware  that their tales of success make people like me feel bad. They shouldn’t have to be aware of that or hold themselves back. As a good friend I should feel happy for them, and I pretend to, but inside it makes me feel terrible.&lt;p&gt;If you’re commenting on this thread and offering advice, I encourage you add the context of whether you are one of those who have money or not.</text></story><parent_chain><item><author>randycupertino</author><text>I worked in wealth management and LIVED the hedonistic treadmill firsthand.&lt;p&gt;Everyone was jealous of the next level up.  I was making 300k and my high school hometown friends were like &amp;quot;holy cow, you&amp;#x27;re so lucky this is amazing, you have your own apartment&amp;quot; meanwhile I was annoyed I couldn&amp;#x27;t keep up financially with my trust fund boyfriend who had $3 million a year to piss away with random trips to Bermuda.  My CFO was jealous of the Principal who could take netjets and didn&amp;#x27;t have to fly first class everywhere.  The NetJets guy was jealous of the billionaire principal who had his own jet.  That billionaire was jealous of the main money dude who had family money inherited from the crusades.  They all fought with their wives over private school tuition and horses.  Everyone drank, did tons of drugs, had dramatic affairs and fought like cats and dogs with their families.&lt;p&gt;I left finance and went into healthcare and realized I&amp;#x27;m pretty damn happy living a simple life.  I kept a $1500 belt I bought from Henry Bendels that&amp;#x27;s incredibly ugly as a reminder of dumb decisions and having too much money to piss away on stupid crap!&lt;p&gt;Read Blood Diamonds: Tracing the Deadly Path of the World&amp;#x27;s Most Precious Stones
Book by Greg Campbell.  Reading that made me realize how our planet has finite resources and I just I wanted to cleave the my own consumption habits so stopped needless shopping for &amp;quot;fun&amp;quot; and started being a stubborn bastard about driving my 12 year old Hyundai into the ground.  It&amp;#x27;s not much but it&amp;#x27;s my own private rebellion against the gaping maw of endless consumerism.&lt;p&gt;Worship your family, friends, love ones, health, music, doing things that make you feel alive, shared experiences and nature over shiny toys and stuff that just sits around collecting dust and looking pretty.&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day, we&amp;#x27;re all the same food for worms anyways no matter our net worth.  Enjoy your friendships, realize they probably have their own internal struggles and problems they&amp;#x27;re dealing with and try to be there for them in whatever way you can!</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>rl3</author><text>&amp;gt;&lt;i&gt;That billionaire was jealous of the main money dude who had family money inherited from the crusades.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;p&gt;Illuminati confirmed.&lt;p&gt;On a serious note, being born into wealth is a travesty of sorts. People who are tend to experience a reality that is far removed from that of the average person, and as such can&amp;#x27;t identify nor relate. They are robbed of a certain type of life. Yet, enormous wealth confers power that can be exercised over common people—despite such an upbringing rendering one ill-suited to exercise said power. It&amp;#x27;s a timeless problem, I suppose.</text></comment>
<story><title>Ask HN: How to continue to be gracious about the good fortune of rich friends?</title><text>I have no money. I do have rich friends who are getting richer and richer every year.&lt;p&gt;I try to be gracious and happy for their good fortune.&lt;p&gt;However it makes me depressed and angry and envious.&lt;p&gt;One friend told me a few days ago his house went up in value $1,000,000 in one year, at which point he sold it.&lt;p&gt;I visited my cousin who is a fabulous person and has a gorgeous house freshly renovated and extended and a new pool put it.&lt;p&gt;All around me my peers are becoming very wealthy.&lt;p&gt;And I’m at the bottom with nothing.&lt;p&gt;I try to be happy for them and gracious and to listen and enthuse whilst they tell me of their good fortune or show me around their stunning houses. And afterwards I feel smashed with depression as I go back to my shit rental house that I’m ashamed of.&lt;p&gt;Good people, great friends, and seeing them brings me down.&lt;p&gt;Rich people aren’t aware  that their tales of success make people like me feel bad. They shouldn’t have to be aware of that or hold themselves back. As a good friend I should feel happy for them, and I pretend to, but inside it makes me feel terrible.&lt;p&gt;If you’re commenting on this thread and offering advice, I encourage you add the context of whether you are one of those who have money or not.</text></story><parent_chain><item><author>randycupertino</author><text>I worked in wealth management and LIVED the hedonistic treadmill firsthand.&lt;p&gt;Everyone was jealous of the next level up.  I was making 300k and my high school hometown friends were like &amp;quot;holy cow, you&amp;#x27;re so lucky this is amazing, you have your own apartment&amp;quot; meanwhile I was annoyed I couldn&amp;#x27;t keep up financially with my trust fund boyfriend who had $3 million a year to piss away with random trips to Bermuda.  My CFO was jealous of the Principal who could take netjets and didn&amp;#x27;t have to fly first class everywhere.  The NetJets guy was jealous of the billionaire principal who had his own jet.  That billionaire was jealous of the main money dude who had family money inherited from the crusades.  They all fought with their wives over private school tuition and horses.  Everyone drank, did tons of drugs, had dramatic affairs and fought like cats and dogs with their families.&lt;p&gt;I left finance and went into healthcare and realized I&amp;#x27;m pretty damn happy living a simple life.  I kept a $1500 belt I bought from Henry Bendels that&amp;#x27;s incredibly ugly as a reminder of dumb decisions and having too much money to piss away on stupid crap!&lt;p&gt;Read Blood Diamonds: Tracing the Deadly Path of the World&amp;#x27;s Most Precious Stones
Book by Greg Campbell.  Reading that made me realize how our planet has finite resources and I just I wanted to cleave the my own consumption habits so stopped needless shopping for &amp;quot;fun&amp;quot; and started being a stubborn bastard about driving my 12 year old Hyundai into the ground.  It&amp;#x27;s not much but it&amp;#x27;s my own private rebellion against the gaping maw of endless consumerism.&lt;p&gt;Worship your family, friends, love ones, health, music, doing things that make you feel alive, shared experiences and nature over shiny toys and stuff that just sits around collecting dust and looking pretty.&lt;p&gt;At the end of the day, we&amp;#x27;re all the same food for worms anyways no matter our net worth.  Enjoy your friendships, realize they probably have their own internal struggles and problems they&amp;#x27;re dealing with and try to be there for them in whatever way you can!</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>deanmoriarty</author><text>&amp;gt; Worship your family, friends, love ones, health, music, doing things that make you feel alive, shared experiences and nature over shiny toys and stuff that just sits around collecting dust and looking pretty.&lt;p&gt;Agree but let’s not forget that  money can give you wonderful experiences even if you are not materialistic, including the ability to not work anymore. Those are the people I am jealous of.</text></comment>