<story><title>The window for great-grandmothers is closing</title><url>https://memoirsandrambles.substack.com/p/the-window-for-great-grandmothers</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>Afton</author><text>The upside is that I was a total basket case in my 20s, completely incompetent to be able to raise a child. I&amp;#x27;ll leave it to my children on how it turned out in my 30s. Generally I&amp;#x27;d expect older adults to have done a lot more maturing and increased ability to emotionally regulate, which is a really critical ability when dealing with the 4th day of 3 hours of sleep and a colicky baby (for example).&lt;p&gt;Also no point. But honestly, if you want people to have kids earlier, you need to make them think that their life won&amp;#x27;t be bleak if they do.</text></item><item><author>CalRobert</author><text>If you haven&amp;#x27;t read the article, it&amp;#x27;s about how people having kids later means you won&amp;#x27;t meet your great grandparents.&lt;p&gt;My mom had me when she was 23, and her mom had her at 22. I&amp;#x27;m in my forties and still have two living grandparents, and am very grateful for them. I remember a lot of days where my grandmother watched me and my sister, and she was able to do that because she was only in her late 40&amp;#x27;s herself and plenty mobile. I knew two of my great grandmothers, one of them only dying in my teens.&lt;p&gt;Not everyone can rely on parents to help with childcare, but it is worth keeping in mind that if you wait until your mid 30&amp;#x27;s they might not be able to catch a running toddler like they could a decade earlier.&lt;p&gt;My mom also managed to have a really good career, though she went to night school when I was around 6 and worked her ass off in general. But, she had a high earning partner to support her.&lt;p&gt;I don&amp;#x27;t really have a single point here, except that I worry we&amp;#x27;ve ignored the less-obvious downsides to people delaying childbearing until their mid 30&amp;#x27;s.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>crimsontech</author><text>I had my first daughter when I was 20 and grew up very quickly, I can distinctly remember it hitting me like a bus that I was now wholly responsible for a human.&lt;p&gt;She is an adult now and I couldn’t be any prouder of all she has achieved in life so far.&lt;p&gt;I also had two more kids in my 30s. It’s harder when you are older, but I’m financially better off so they can have things I couldn’t afford in my 20s. I do have more work responsibilities but it’s balanced by working from home so I get to be a big part of their lives, taking them to school, here when they get home, etc.&lt;p&gt;There are benefits either way, but I think if you are committed to being a decent parent, having them younger has more benefits in the long term. You get to be around for more of lives too.</text></comment>
<story><title>The window for great-grandmothers is closing</title><url>https://memoirsandrambles.substack.com/p/the-window-for-great-grandmothers</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>Afton</author><text>The upside is that I was a total basket case in my 20s, completely incompetent to be able to raise a child. I&amp;#x27;ll leave it to my children on how it turned out in my 30s. Generally I&amp;#x27;d expect older adults to have done a lot more maturing and increased ability to emotionally regulate, which is a really critical ability when dealing with the 4th day of 3 hours of sleep and a colicky baby (for example).&lt;p&gt;Also no point. But honestly, if you want people to have kids earlier, you need to make them think that their life won&amp;#x27;t be bleak if they do.</text></item><item><author>CalRobert</author><text>If you haven&amp;#x27;t read the article, it&amp;#x27;s about how people having kids later means you won&amp;#x27;t meet your great grandparents.&lt;p&gt;My mom had me when she was 23, and her mom had her at 22. I&amp;#x27;m in my forties and still have two living grandparents, and am very grateful for them. I remember a lot of days where my grandmother watched me and my sister, and she was able to do that because she was only in her late 40&amp;#x27;s herself and plenty mobile. I knew two of my great grandmothers, one of them only dying in my teens.&lt;p&gt;Not everyone can rely on parents to help with childcare, but it is worth keeping in mind that if you wait until your mid 30&amp;#x27;s they might not be able to catch a running toddler like they could a decade earlier.&lt;p&gt;My mom also managed to have a really good career, though she went to night school when I was around 6 and worked her ass off in general. But, she had a high earning partner to support her.&lt;p&gt;I don&amp;#x27;t really have a single point here, except that I worry we&amp;#x27;ve ignored the less-obvious downsides to people delaying childbearing until their mid 30&amp;#x27;s.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>jwells89</author><text>Not a parent, but I feel the same about myself. Having a kid at 22 would’ve been a mess to say the least. Looking back at that age halfway through my 30s, at that point I wasn’t much more than an overgrown 16 year old that could legally walk into a bar who wouldn’t get his head screwed on quite right for another 6 years or so at minimum.</text></comment>