<story><title>Why Your Cat Thinks You’re a Huge, Unpredictable Ape</title><url>http://www.wired.com/2014/10/cat-thinks-youre-huge-unpredictable-ape/</url></story><parent_chain></parent_chain><comment><author>edw519</author><text>How to Treat Your Cat (or Manager)&lt;p&gt;1. Any cat &amp;gt; any thing, no matter how expensive. I wish my carpets and furniture weren&amp;#x27;t all scratched up, but I really don&amp;#x27;t care that much.&lt;p&gt;Corollary: Any manager &amp;gt; any project. The project may fail, but the manager may do another.&lt;p&gt;2. Let the cat initiate all action. They will let you know when they want to eat&amp;#x2F;sleep&amp;#x2F;play&amp;#x2F;cuddle&amp;#x2F;hang out. Respond predictably to their action.&lt;p&gt;Corollary: Keep coding until interrupted by your manager. Smile, listen, pretend to care, agree. Then continue coding.&lt;p&gt;3. Every time you return (even from the mailbox), greet the cat as if you hadn&amp;#x27;t seen each other for years. I don&amp;#x27;t know how cats perceive the passage time, but what difference does that really make?&lt;p&gt;Corollary: Document everything discussed with your manager and share the notes during your next meeting to remind them of what they probably won&amp;#x27;t remember.&lt;p&gt;4. Listen to the cat. They &lt;i&gt;do&lt;/i&gt; have words, just not in the same language. Tonality and body language leave very important clues.&lt;p&gt;Corollary: Learn the definition of terms like: bandwidth, key results, deep dive, follow-up, subject matter expert, and ROI so you know what the hell your manager is talking about.&lt;p&gt;5. Include the cat in your plans when applicable. They may surprise you by enjoying watching football on TV, relaxing in the yard, or even eating together.&lt;p&gt;Corollary: Give your manager a status report so they know what&amp;#x27;s going on. Otherwise, they&amp;#x27;ll just interrupt you when you&amp;#x27;re right in the middle of coding a difficult algorithm.&lt;p&gt;6. If the cat gets scared, growls, scratches, or bites, you probably did something wrong. Identify and correct the problem.&lt;p&gt;Corollary: If the project fails, it&amp;#x27;s your fault because it can&amp;#x27;t be your manager&amp;#x27;s fault.&lt;p&gt;7. Even though it&amp;#x27;s not human, the cat is a member of your family and should be treated accordingly.&lt;p&gt;Corollary: Even though they can&amp;#x27;t code and have never built anything, your manager deserves as much respect as anyone else.</text></comment>
<story><title>Why Your Cat Thinks You’re a Huge, Unpredictable Ape</title><url>http://www.wired.com/2014/10/cat-thinks-youre-huge-unpredictable-ape/</url></story><parent_chain></parent_chain><comment><author>saool</author><text>&amp;quot;You won&amp;#x27;t believe what happens after Wired turns into Buzzfeed&amp;quot;.</text></comment>