<story><title>The Cult of Work You Never Meant to Join</title><url>https://medium.com/@jlengstorf/the-cult-of-work-you-never-meant-to-join-cd965fb9ea1a</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>scottious</author><text>It has always bothered me that it&amp;#x27;s so common for people (including me) to say something like, &amp;quot;Man I&amp;#x27;ve been working since 7:30 this morning&amp;quot; as a way of bragging &amp;quot;oh look at me I have such good work ethic, I&amp;#x27;m so much better than people who work less than me.&amp;quot;&lt;p&gt;But what really bothers me about it is that it&amp;#x27;s so hard to NOT work that much when other people ARE working that much.  Like sometimes I&amp;#x27;ll come into work in the morning and there will be pages upon pages of conversation from the night before on HipChat.  I have to now read all that stuff and try to understand the context or I&amp;#x27;ll fall behind just because I didn&amp;#x27;t want to stay up until midnight working.&lt;p&gt;I recently took a vacation.  Only 4 days.  I had a lot of fun but I couldn&amp;#x27;t help but feel regret for taking a vacation when I got back and realized how far behind I was because of how much stuff has moved on in just 4 days.&lt;p&gt;So am I part of this cult?  Yes, absolutely.  Luckily for me I&amp;#x27;m not super deep into it: I still go to the gym and play piano.  But I know I have a problem because every time I think about having kids, this resentment wells up inside of me because I know having a kid will make me less competitive at work.  That can&amp;#x27;t be healthy... but I&amp;#x27;m competitive and I fear getting left behind because my co-workers might choose NOT to start a family and instead stay up until midnight working.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>Loughla</author><text>I&amp;#x27;ve been there. I&amp;#x27;m officially topped out in my career field for the next 20(ish) years because of children. Anyone who moves past my current point either has no obligations, or have children who are out of the house as adults already. I made the choice to not let that stuff bother me. I miss out on some choice assignments. I miss out on some really interesting work. I miss many late-night brainstorming sessions and conversations with coworkers that are intellectually and professionally stimulating.&lt;p&gt;But I also got to take my kid to the circus for the first time last fall, I took two weeks&amp;#x27; vacation this spring to just monkey around with the 2 year old for a while because the weather was supposed to be nice and trees were starting to leaf out, and tonight we have a play-date at a local jungle-gym while I know some of the other individuals at my level will be here until 8 or 9 working on a new center (and big-time resume boost).&lt;p&gt;As with everything, it&amp;#x27;s all about identifying and sticking to your priorities. You&amp;#x27;ll lose in some aspects professionally, but work isn&amp;#x27;t everything.&lt;p&gt;What did it for me was volunteering at a nursing home. Listen to the folks in those places. Do they talk about the choice work assignments they had? Do they talk fondly about the long hours they worked? The money they made? The stuff they bought?&lt;p&gt;Nope. They talk about travel, family and friends.</text></comment>
<story><title>The Cult of Work You Never Meant to Join</title><url>https://medium.com/@jlengstorf/the-cult-of-work-you-never-meant-to-join-cd965fb9ea1a</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>scottious</author><text>It has always bothered me that it&amp;#x27;s so common for people (including me) to say something like, &amp;quot;Man I&amp;#x27;ve been working since 7:30 this morning&amp;quot; as a way of bragging &amp;quot;oh look at me I have such good work ethic, I&amp;#x27;m so much better than people who work less than me.&amp;quot;&lt;p&gt;But what really bothers me about it is that it&amp;#x27;s so hard to NOT work that much when other people ARE working that much.  Like sometimes I&amp;#x27;ll come into work in the morning and there will be pages upon pages of conversation from the night before on HipChat.  I have to now read all that stuff and try to understand the context or I&amp;#x27;ll fall behind just because I didn&amp;#x27;t want to stay up until midnight working.&lt;p&gt;I recently took a vacation.  Only 4 days.  I had a lot of fun but I couldn&amp;#x27;t help but feel regret for taking a vacation when I got back and realized how far behind I was because of how much stuff has moved on in just 4 days.&lt;p&gt;So am I part of this cult?  Yes, absolutely.  Luckily for me I&amp;#x27;m not super deep into it: I still go to the gym and play piano.  But I know I have a problem because every time I think about having kids, this resentment wells up inside of me because I know having a kid will make me less competitive at work.  That can&amp;#x27;t be healthy... but I&amp;#x27;m competitive and I fear getting left behind because my co-workers might choose NOT to start a family and instead stay up until midnight working.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>themoonbus</author><text>One of my favorite articles on the social custom of bragging about how busy you are
&lt;a href=&quot;http:&amp;#x2F;&amp;#x2F;opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com&amp;#x2F;2012&amp;#x2F;06&amp;#x2F;30&amp;#x2F;the-busy-trap&amp;#x2F;&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;http:&amp;#x2F;&amp;#x2F;opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com&amp;#x2F;2012&amp;#x2F;06&amp;#x2F;30&amp;#x2F;the-busy-tra...&lt;/a&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Busyness serves as a kind of existential reassurance, a hedge against emptiness; obviously your life cannot possibly be silly or trivial or meaningless if you are so busy, completely booked, in demand every hour of the day.&amp;quot;</text></comment>