<story><title>Divorce and Occupation</title><url>http://flowingdata.com/2017/07/25/divorce-and-occupation</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>coredog64</author><text>Been married for more than 20 years now.  The advice I give younger co-workers who are just getting married is &amp;quot;You can be right or you can be happy.&amp;quot;</text></item><item><author>tabeth</author><text>I remember for a school project long ago I had to interview a bunch of people in nursing homes. Many of them had been in marriages that spanned several decades so I asked them how they made it work.&lt;p&gt;Shockingly everyone said basically the same thing: agreeableness. Supposedly, having low or nonexistent levels of disagreement, whether financial, moral or otherwise is the key.&lt;p&gt;So with this said,  I&amp;#x27;d be curious to know how your profession affects your agreeableness (especially in respect to power dynamics). I wish I asked if they &lt;i&gt;choose&lt;/i&gt; to agree, e.g compromise, or if they and their partner were naturally agreeable.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>jonahx</author><text>I hear this all the time, and in its typical meaning I think it&amp;#x27;s terrible advice.&lt;p&gt;If you care about honesty, or self-respect, or your partner knowing you and how you think -- caving in to everything and avoiding conflict at all costs is the &lt;i&gt;opposite&lt;/i&gt; of what you should do.&lt;p&gt;If you rephrase it as &amp;quot;Don&amp;#x27;t sweat the small stuff&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;Don&amp;#x27;t be petty and stubborn about things that don&amp;#x27;t matter,&amp;quot; then it&amp;#x27;s perfectly reasonable.</text></comment>
<story><title>Divorce and Occupation</title><url>http://flowingdata.com/2017/07/25/divorce-and-occupation</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>coredog64</author><text>Been married for more than 20 years now.  The advice I give younger co-workers who are just getting married is &amp;quot;You can be right or you can be happy.&amp;quot;</text></item><item><author>tabeth</author><text>I remember for a school project long ago I had to interview a bunch of people in nursing homes. Many of them had been in marriages that spanned several decades so I asked them how they made it work.&lt;p&gt;Shockingly everyone said basically the same thing: agreeableness. Supposedly, having low or nonexistent levels of disagreement, whether financial, moral or otherwise is the key.&lt;p&gt;So with this said,  I&amp;#x27;d be curious to know how your profession affects your agreeableness (especially in respect to power dynamics). I wish I asked if they &lt;i&gt;choose&lt;/i&gt; to agree, e.g compromise, or if they and their partner were naturally agreeable.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>fosk</author><text>I am not married, and I am in my twenties, and I don&amp;#x27;t get why people are signing a contract with high termination fees just so they can compromise on everything for the next 4 decades. Somebody please enlighten me, why are we still stuck with this 2000yrs old tribal behavior instead of moving on with a more modern approach?&lt;p&gt;Edit: controversial arguments come with downvotes, but I&amp;#x27;d really like to know your opinion on this.</text></comment>