<story><title>Americans Are a Lonely Lot, and Young People Bear the Heaviest Burden</title><url>https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/05/01/606588504/americans-are-a-lonely-lot-and-young-people-bear-the-heaviest-burden</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>arthurmerlin</author><text>What do you do when your friends don&amp;#x27;t pick up, or if they aren&amp;#x27;t willing to go on outings with you?  I think the biggest contributor to my loneliness is that no one seems to like me.  I reach out to hang out, and usually, get rejected.</text></item><item><author>fogzen</author><text>Best thing I did for my social life was stop working in tech and using tech as much as possible. I visit the same cafe every morning and now know all the regulars. I stopped buying groceries online and go to the store now. I call friends instead of texting and plan outings. I ride a bike and stop to chat with people wherever I go. I don’t watch TV, or play video games. I go the bookstore (only one left in my city) instead of Amazon, and I chat with people in the bookstore.&lt;p&gt;I now deeply regret working as a software engineer in my 20s, as I’ve realized it contributed massively to my loneliness. Which is sad because I used to be so excited about technology and now I see it as the biggest trend in reducing quality of life.&lt;p&gt;It seems the more interactions that are mediated by technology the less human contact we have.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>stillsut</author><text>This will seem counter-intuitive but work on opening up &lt;i&gt;strangers&lt;/i&gt; in public places, and your friends will end up gravitating towards you.&lt;p&gt;Gladwell observed in &lt;i&gt;Tipping Point&lt;/i&gt; that most peoples&amp;#x27; social circle is usually created by one high connection &amp;quot;maven&amp;quot; who connects many low connection end nodes. You want to try to move closer to how that maven operates.&lt;p&gt;Concretely: If you go out with a friend, and end up becoming buddies with the waitress, and then also know of an after party you can bring the friend to, by virtue of your network, you will constantly be getting solicited to hang out. Even more quantitatively: if you can average +2 casual connections per day when you try, you&amp;#x27;ll be doing very well. But two connections in a day is very difficult for most people on HN; you&amp;#x27;ll have to work and experiment on how to achieve that.</text></comment>
<story><title>Americans Are a Lonely Lot, and Young People Bear the Heaviest Burden</title><url>https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/05/01/606588504/americans-are-a-lonely-lot-and-young-people-bear-the-heaviest-burden</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>arthurmerlin</author><text>What do you do when your friends don&amp;#x27;t pick up, or if they aren&amp;#x27;t willing to go on outings with you?  I think the biggest contributor to my loneliness is that no one seems to like me.  I reach out to hang out, and usually, get rejected.</text></item><item><author>fogzen</author><text>Best thing I did for my social life was stop working in tech and using tech as much as possible. I visit the same cafe every morning and now know all the regulars. I stopped buying groceries online and go to the store now. I call friends instead of texting and plan outings. I ride a bike and stop to chat with people wherever I go. I don’t watch TV, or play video games. I go the bookstore (only one left in my city) instead of Amazon, and I chat with people in the bookstore.&lt;p&gt;I now deeply regret working as a software engineer in my 20s, as I’ve realized it contributed massively to my loneliness. Which is sad because I used to be so excited about technology and now I see it as the biggest trend in reducing quality of life.&lt;p&gt;It seems the more interactions that are mediated by technology the less human contact we have.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>majormajor</author><text>The only answer I ever found to this was &amp;quot;find different friends&amp;quot; - or, more directly, &amp;quot;find real friends who do like you more.&amp;quot;&lt;p&gt;But it&amp;#x27;s very, very hard.</text></comment>