<story><title>Toxic positivity does more harm than good</title><url>https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2021-01-14/what-is-fono-toxic-positivity-is-doing-more-harm-than-good</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>ChuckMcM</author><text>A lot of insight in the parent comment here. Most importantly this: &lt;i&gt;&amp;quot;...there seems to be two camps of people: those who want constant positive reinforcement and those who it completely has the opposite effect ...&amp;quot;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you are leading and or managing a team, one of the most important things you need to know are how do people want their feedback. My experience is that it varies from person to person (I suspect that there are many more than two camps :-)) and as such it is unlikely that you can meet that need in group feedback.&lt;p&gt;Because of that, my choice these days is to split feedback into two fora, the group status meeting and 1:1s. In the group, feedback is modulated by progress against plan. So &amp;quot;we need to work harder&amp;quot; for behind plan, &amp;quot;neutral&amp;quot; for on plan, and &amp;quot;this team is killing it&amp;quot; for ahead of plan. In 1:1s the feedback is based on the expectations that have been set for that team member, do they know what is expected of them? Do they know how it is being measured? And where are they with respect to measurement vs expectation.&lt;p&gt;1:1 feedback often times (for me) takes on more of a mentor&amp;#x2F;mentee tone rather than a how are we doing on the schedule tone. Doing that well also requires a certain amount of trust which, as a manager, you have to earn by being honest with your team members.</text></item><item><author>halfmatthalfcat</author><text>I&amp;#x27;ve felt a lot of &amp;quot;false&amp;quot; positivity espoused by project managers, especially those in charge of agile ceremonies.&lt;p&gt;Examples: &amp;quot;I&amp;#x27;m really {proud,impressed} of all of you for your output this sprint&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;You all should be very proud of what you guys did&amp;quot;, etc.&lt;p&gt;These aren&amp;#x27;t given after periods of crunch time, they&amp;#x27;re literally every week to the point where it feels so contrived and artificial. They&amp;#x27;re given when we&amp;#x27;re just doing normal, expected work.&lt;p&gt;I&amp;#x27;ve mentioned this to colleagues and friends and there seems to be two camps of people: those who want constant positive reenforcement and those who it completely has the opposite effect, an annoyance. I guess I fall into the latter.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>tchalla</author><text>In the end, HOW you deliver feedback matters. Personally, I have three important characteristics for a feedback.&lt;p&gt;Point 1 : &amp;quot;Be Specific&amp;quot;. I can not stress this enough. Please point out specific observable behaviour.&lt;p&gt;Point 2 : Frame feedback in terms of team&amp;#x2F;organisational goals. Every team has a purpose within the organisation. It&amp;#x27;s a team game and every team member should know the feedback in context of the team game. Individual feedback, team context.&lt;p&gt;Point 3 : Cite the past but look for future changes in behaviour. You can not change the past but you can influence the future.&lt;p&gt;For example, &amp;quot;Hey John! When you do X, it helps the team achieve Y. Please continue doing so!&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;Hey John! When you do Z, it lets the team down. What can you do differently?&amp;quot;.</text></comment>
<story><title>Toxic positivity does more harm than good</title><url>https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2021-01-14/what-is-fono-toxic-positivity-is-doing-more-harm-than-good</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>ChuckMcM</author><text>A lot of insight in the parent comment here. Most importantly this: &lt;i&gt;&amp;quot;...there seems to be two camps of people: those who want constant positive reinforcement and those who it completely has the opposite effect ...&amp;quot;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you are leading and or managing a team, one of the most important things you need to know are how do people want their feedback. My experience is that it varies from person to person (I suspect that there are many more than two camps :-)) and as such it is unlikely that you can meet that need in group feedback.&lt;p&gt;Because of that, my choice these days is to split feedback into two fora, the group status meeting and 1:1s. In the group, feedback is modulated by progress against plan. So &amp;quot;we need to work harder&amp;quot; for behind plan, &amp;quot;neutral&amp;quot; for on plan, and &amp;quot;this team is killing it&amp;quot; for ahead of plan. In 1:1s the feedback is based on the expectations that have been set for that team member, do they know what is expected of them? Do they know how it is being measured? And where are they with respect to measurement vs expectation.&lt;p&gt;1:1 feedback often times (for me) takes on more of a mentor&amp;#x2F;mentee tone rather than a how are we doing on the schedule tone. Doing that well also requires a certain amount of trust which, as a manager, you have to earn by being honest with your team members.</text></item><item><author>halfmatthalfcat</author><text>I&amp;#x27;ve felt a lot of &amp;quot;false&amp;quot; positivity espoused by project managers, especially those in charge of agile ceremonies.&lt;p&gt;Examples: &amp;quot;I&amp;#x27;m really {proud,impressed} of all of you for your output this sprint&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;You all should be very proud of what you guys did&amp;quot;, etc.&lt;p&gt;These aren&amp;#x27;t given after periods of crunch time, they&amp;#x27;re literally every week to the point where it feels so contrived and artificial. They&amp;#x27;re given when we&amp;#x27;re just doing normal, expected work.&lt;p&gt;I&amp;#x27;ve mentioned this to colleagues and friends and there seems to be two camps of people: those who want constant positive reenforcement and those who it completely has the opposite effect, an annoyance. I guess I fall into the latter.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>CuriousSkeptic</author><text>&amp;gt; So &amp;quot;we need to work harder&amp;quot; for behind plan&lt;p&gt;That will just get me angry. If you screw up your commitments that’s on you. Own up to it and talk to your stakeholders. Don’t make me work harder for your mistakes.</text></comment>