<story><title>Don’t be a Grin Fucker</title><url>http://www.bothsidesofthetable.com/2010/03/28/dont-be-a-grin-fucker/</url></story><parent_chain></parent_chain><comment><author>trjordan</author><text>I&apos;ll bite, and take the counterpoint.&lt;p&gt;Most people aren&apos;t grin fucking you because of some inherent moral instability. They&apos;re doing it because fighting you over your idea that you&apos;re in love with isn&apos;t worth it to them. First example he gives, where Manager Bob is getting ignored -- what if the executive simply doesn&apos;t need or respect Bob&apos;s opinion? He doesn&apos;t need to prove to every non-exec that he thinks his idea is good. Unfortunate, but a fact of life in a hierarchical organization.&lt;p&gt;I like to think of myself as direct and honest, but the overwhelming social norm (at least from what I&apos;ve seen, on the East Coast of the US) is to pick your battles. If you push back on everything you disagree with, you surprise people and quickly pick up a reputation as argumentative. This is especially true if you engage on issues outside your area of expertise. Programmers telling accounting how to fund benefits? HR telling programmers which hours are &quot;proper&quot; to work? Organizational grunts telling execs which markets to expand into? Even if the outsider is right, it&apos;s not worth the time of the expert to fight it, and they&apos;ll smile, nod, and hope you go away quickly so they can continue being productive.&lt;p&gt;By all means, you should stand up and call out the obvious bullshit, but the world is not black and white.</text></comment>
<story><title>Don’t be a Grin Fucker</title><url>http://www.bothsidesofthetable.com/2010/03/28/dont-be-a-grin-fucker/</url></story><parent_chain></parent_chain><comment><author>tjic</author><text>That was a stunning long post with which to deliver the message &quot;don&apos;t bullshit people; live up to your commitments&quot;.</text></comment>