<story><title>Why Child Care Is So Expensive</title><url>https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/11/why-child-care-so-expensive/602599</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>Dove</author><text>I am convinced the isolated stay at home parent model is not normal human behavior, but a pathology of our particular society which represents an unreasonable expectation derived from an excessive commitment to individualism and independence.  It is not psychologically reasonable to expect one person to care for children all day every day. It is not historically or broadly culturally normal.   It is not healthy for either the parent or the children to isolate them together like this.&lt;p&gt;It is normal for children to be cared for by many adults throughout the day, from birth - be they older relatives or simply members of the community.  It is abnormal for one person to have to deal with all of their energy and issues.  It is normal for children to wander and play and experience a wide and varied world.  It is abnormal for them to be kept in a small, unchanging indoor space. It is normal for new parents, especially new mothers, to be intensely supported by their community.  It is abnormal for them to be left alone unsupported. It is normal for homemakers to accomplish their daily tasks communally and to be active in their communities.   It is abnormal for them to endure years of social isolation, primarily spending time with their children.&lt;p&gt;I am not sure what a healthy pattern for family support and child rearing looks like in this society, but I think public support for young child care, better connections with older relatives and neighbors for light child care, and light or part time but potentially meaningful work and social connections for parents is a lot closer to normalcy than the current locked together in isolation suffering silently pretending to be happy wondering why you&amp;#x27;re the only one struggling model we have now.  The current model is insane and it is a testament to our toughness as human beings that we all try so hard to make it work and survive as well as we do.</text></item><item><author>abbadadda</author><text>A lot of really good discussion in this article. I just wanted to add a couple of things:&lt;p&gt;It is a true blessing if a mother or father can stay at home to raise their children. However, over time being a stay at home parent is incredibly isolating. Men are suseptible to depression, but women especially so post-partum.  Also, many parents do eventually want to work either part time or full time. The longer one stays out of the work force the bigger the gap on the resume and the harder it is to find work as children grow up. I agree the lowest paying jobs should not be subsidized, but I think the benefits of taxpayer subsidized childcare would be overwhelmingly positive. The quality of childcare makes a big difference in the equation, but parents, especially mothers, should be encouraged to re-enter the workforce if they so choose. Every policy creates incentives and I have no qualms with the ones created by subsidized childcare.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>finder83</author><text>I believe it to actually be a result of industrialization, and I think that the old &amp;quot;model&amp;quot; could actually be more healthy for children (barring advances in society, medicine, etc).&lt;p&gt;Industrialization centralized jobs to factories, offices, etc. Previous to that, most operated their business as an attachment of their home, whether operating in trades or in aggriculture. So the children, the family, etc, were all together all of the time.&lt;p&gt;Our family actually works that way as I have a job as a remote developer and my wife is a stay at home mom. It&amp;#x27;s a great balance as I get to see my kids all day, and my wife is able to get breaks.</text></comment>
<story><title>Why Child Care Is So Expensive</title><url>https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/11/why-child-care-so-expensive/602599</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>Dove</author><text>I am convinced the isolated stay at home parent model is not normal human behavior, but a pathology of our particular society which represents an unreasonable expectation derived from an excessive commitment to individualism and independence.  It is not psychologically reasonable to expect one person to care for children all day every day. It is not historically or broadly culturally normal.   It is not healthy for either the parent or the children to isolate them together like this.&lt;p&gt;It is normal for children to be cared for by many adults throughout the day, from birth - be they older relatives or simply members of the community.  It is abnormal for one person to have to deal with all of their energy and issues.  It is normal for children to wander and play and experience a wide and varied world.  It is abnormal for them to be kept in a small, unchanging indoor space. It is normal for new parents, especially new mothers, to be intensely supported by their community.  It is abnormal for them to be left alone unsupported. It is normal for homemakers to accomplish their daily tasks communally and to be active in their communities.   It is abnormal for them to endure years of social isolation, primarily spending time with their children.&lt;p&gt;I am not sure what a healthy pattern for family support and child rearing looks like in this society, but I think public support for young child care, better connections with older relatives and neighbors for light child care, and light or part time but potentially meaningful work and social connections for parents is a lot closer to normalcy than the current locked together in isolation suffering silently pretending to be happy wondering why you&amp;#x27;re the only one struggling model we have now.  The current model is insane and it is a testament to our toughness as human beings that we all try so hard to make it work and survive as well as we do.</text></item><item><author>abbadadda</author><text>A lot of really good discussion in this article. I just wanted to add a couple of things:&lt;p&gt;It is a true blessing if a mother or father can stay at home to raise their children. However, over time being a stay at home parent is incredibly isolating. Men are suseptible to depression, but women especially so post-partum.  Also, many parents do eventually want to work either part time or full time. The longer one stays out of the work force the bigger the gap on the resume and the harder it is to find work as children grow up. I agree the lowest paying jobs should not be subsidized, but I think the benefits of taxpayer subsidized childcare would be overwhelmingly positive. The quality of childcare makes a big difference in the equation, but parents, especially mothers, should be encouraged to re-enter the workforce if they so choose. Every policy creates incentives and I have no qualms with the ones created by subsidized childcare.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>kodablah</author><text>&amp;gt; It is not psychologically reasonable to expect one person to care for children all day every day [...] It is normal for children to be cared for by many adults throughout the day&lt;p&gt;I&amp;#x27;d argue having the child away from parents so often is harmful as well. Financials aside, that middle ground somewhat exists: stay at home parents that still leverage social environments for their kids. I too don&amp;#x27;t know how we can get everyone there, but the first step should be recognizing that a non-working parent doesn&amp;#x27;t have to be an isolated parent.</text></comment>