<story><title>“But he does good work.”</title><url>https://medium.com/@violetblue/but-he-does-good-work-6710df9d9029#.axjt9r4e2</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>danso</author><text>I typed this response to a comment that called the OP &amp;quot;mostly bullshit&amp;quot; and that if someone does wrong, it is incumbent upon the victim to file charges or forever hold their peace. The comment was flagged so I couldn&amp;#x27;t submit what I typed, so I&amp;#x27;ve pasted it here.&lt;p&gt;I agree that it&amp;#x27;s hard to find black and white in accusations...but I&amp;#x27;d argue that even the judicial system leaves more than enough gray to argue over. And because of that, I don&amp;#x27;t believe that things are ever as simple &amp;quot;if something is wrong, file charges&amp;quot; -- just like it&amp;#x27;s never as easy as &amp;quot;if you love someone, put a ring on it.&amp;quot;&lt;p&gt;I&amp;#x27;ll likely have the privilege of never having to file charges for rape, but once I had to file charges as a victim of armed robbery. Even though I had plenty of evidence, in hand and forthcoming (Android location tracing)...I had a hell of a time convincing a detective that I wasn&amp;#x27;t faking a robbery for insurance purposes, just because I wasn&amp;#x27;t clear exactly what block i was on when it happened. I can&amp;#x27;t even fucking imagine what it is like convincing the system that sexual assault (or even harassment) has happened, but I imagine the friction is enough to deter people from taking necessary action until it&amp;#x27;s too late. It seems that some of these victims are able to talk themselves out of thinking that a colleague truly did wrong, and when others step up, they realize their mistake in being quiet.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>joyeuse6701</author><text>It should be difficult to convince the system, it should not be easy. If it were people would &amp;#x27;hack it&amp;#x27; to there benefit. See welfare.&lt;p&gt;True, a victim will face the emotional hurdle and trauma. The system is unfeeling.&lt;p&gt;People these days mostly avoid confrontation. Going to the police is confrontation by proxy, and when it takes convincing to get them to take action, a beaten down victim has quite a battle to face.&lt;p&gt;The world is unpleasant, it will always be so, it will always be full of suffering. We strive to do our best as a people to improve our lot in life, but that doesn&amp;#x27;t mean lowering your defenses. Always advocate peace, always prepare for war. Many rely on the system or &amp;#x27;it won&amp;#x27;t happen to me&amp;#x27; mentality as to why they don&amp;#x27;t or won&amp;#x27;t protect themselves. You shouldn&amp;#x27;t have to train in self defense but you must. You shouldn&amp;#x27;t have to be aware of the situation, but you must. You shouldn&amp;#x27;t have to note the exit signs in an enclosed structure, but you must. You shouldn&amp;#x27;t have to cover your drink but you must. You shouldn&amp;#x27;t have to blend in so as to not draw attention from a threat, but you must. Our world is dangerous, we like to think it isn&amp;#x27;t, and it&amp;#x27;s so much easier to tell ourselves that we&amp;#x27;re a victim and deserve sympathy than to ask ourselves what we could have done to prevent this and defend ourselves. We want someone else to do it for us. A higher up, police, lawyers... do it yourself, defend yourself and your friends.</text></comment>
<story><title>“But he does good work.”</title><url>https://medium.com/@violetblue/but-he-does-good-work-6710df9d9029#.axjt9r4e2</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>danso</author><text>I typed this response to a comment that called the OP &amp;quot;mostly bullshit&amp;quot; and that if someone does wrong, it is incumbent upon the victim to file charges or forever hold their peace. The comment was flagged so I couldn&amp;#x27;t submit what I typed, so I&amp;#x27;ve pasted it here.&lt;p&gt;I agree that it&amp;#x27;s hard to find black and white in accusations...but I&amp;#x27;d argue that even the judicial system leaves more than enough gray to argue over. And because of that, I don&amp;#x27;t believe that things are ever as simple &amp;quot;if something is wrong, file charges&amp;quot; -- just like it&amp;#x27;s never as easy as &amp;quot;if you love someone, put a ring on it.&amp;quot;&lt;p&gt;I&amp;#x27;ll likely have the privilege of never having to file charges for rape, but once I had to file charges as a victim of armed robbery. Even though I had plenty of evidence, in hand and forthcoming (Android location tracing)...I had a hell of a time convincing a detective that I wasn&amp;#x27;t faking a robbery for insurance purposes, just because I wasn&amp;#x27;t clear exactly what block i was on when it happened. I can&amp;#x27;t even fucking imagine what it is like convincing the system that sexual assault (or even harassment) has happened, but I imagine the friction is enough to deter people from taking necessary action until it&amp;#x27;s too late. It seems that some of these victims are able to talk themselves out of thinking that a colleague truly did wrong, and when others step up, they realize their mistake in being quiet.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>mordocai</author><text>Not to mention that this guy would apparently blackmail and&amp;#x2F;or destroy you if you tried to spread the word (no mention of filing charges that I saw, but I imagine a similar story).</text></comment>