<story><title>My Personal Credit Crisis</title><url>http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/17/magazine/17foreclosure-t.html?_r=1&amp;em=&amp;pagewanted=all</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>Chocobean</author><text>I don&apos;t know about you, but as a young female of the 20-25 group, if my husband made me sign a pre-nup before the wedding, it will pretty well signal the end of the relationship. It will be interpreted as a sign of &quot;if you don&apos;t trust me with everything, i can&apos;t trust you with anything.&quot;&lt;p&gt;20-somethings believe in &quot;life long marriage&quot;.</text></item><item><author>unexpected</author><text>this brings up an interesting point. Would you make your wife sign a pre-nuptial agreement before getting married?&lt;p&gt;I often see people who have gotten divorced sign a pre-nup, but people I&apos;ve spoken with around my age group (20-25) seem to be adamantly opposed to a pre-nup.</text></item><item><author>gaius</author><text>He also displayed a lack of financial acumen in his first marriage...</text></item><item><author>sethg</author><text>I think the author&apos;s first mistake was not in taking out the subprime loan, but in entering a marriage without some kind of mutual understanding of how to manage the household finances.&lt;p&gt;One of the &lt;i&gt;first&lt;/i&gt; things my wife and I did, after getting married (possibly even before), was to set up a budget, including line items for how much money each of us could spend without being questioned by the other.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>__david__</author><text>Yeah, I thought that too when I got married at your age.&lt;p&gt;When I got divorced 5 years later I found out some legal details that made me rethink that position. Specifically, I found that even though my wife was a reasonable person and our split fairly amicable (as much as these things can be) that I wasn&apos;t necessarily off the hook for alimony. According to my understanding of California law, the judge can look at my divorce case and if he thinks my ex&apos;s income is too low compared to the mine then he can award her alimony &lt;i&gt;even though it was not requested by her&lt;/i&gt;.&lt;p&gt;That opened my eyes and I saw pre-nups in a new light: They are just writing your own personal divorce laws so that you can be sure they are &quot;fair&quot; in your own eyes--They are not a sign of distrust.&lt;p&gt;It&apos;s like signing a confidentiality agreement in business. One party isn&apos;t assuming you&apos;re going to break the agreement, they&apos;re just spelling out the terms so everything is on the table.</text></comment>
<story><title>My Personal Credit Crisis</title><url>http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/17/magazine/17foreclosure-t.html?_r=1&amp;em=&amp;pagewanted=all</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>Chocobean</author><text>I don&apos;t know about you, but as a young female of the 20-25 group, if my husband made me sign a pre-nup before the wedding, it will pretty well signal the end of the relationship. It will be interpreted as a sign of &quot;if you don&apos;t trust me with everything, i can&apos;t trust you with anything.&quot;&lt;p&gt;20-somethings believe in &quot;life long marriage&quot;.</text></item><item><author>unexpected</author><text>this brings up an interesting point. Would you make your wife sign a pre-nuptial agreement before getting married?&lt;p&gt;I often see people who have gotten divorced sign a pre-nup, but people I&apos;ve spoken with around my age group (20-25) seem to be adamantly opposed to a pre-nup.</text></item><item><author>gaius</author><text>He also displayed a lack of financial acumen in his first marriage...</text></item><item><author>sethg</author><text>I think the author&apos;s first mistake was not in taking out the subprime loan, but in entering a marriage without some kind of mutual understanding of how to manage the household finances.&lt;p&gt;One of the &lt;i&gt;first&lt;/i&gt; things my wife and I did, after getting married (possibly even before), was to set up a budget, including line items for how much money each of us could spend without being questioned by the other.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>granular</author><text>&amp;#62;  if my husband made me sign a pre-nup before the
&amp;#62; wedding, it will pretty well signal the end of
&amp;#62; the relationship.&lt;p&gt;You don&apos;t seem to understand. The legal system in the USA is currently configured to crush fathers. A pre-nup is not a way to say, &quot;hey, I want to be able to leave you and the kids and not pay a dime!&quot;, it&apos;s a way to limit the soul-crushing damage the legal system will do to Dad when Mom decides he&apos;s not making enough money and wants a divorce, and the kids, and the house, and child support, and alimony.</text></comment>