<story><title>How Do You Make or Maintain Friends? Put in the Time</title><url>https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-waves/201803/how-do-you-make-or-maintain-friends-put-in-the-time</url></story><parent_chain></parent_chain><comment><author>creep</author><text>For some reason I&amp;#x27;ve always looked at friendship relationships as primarily creative. I don&amp;#x27;t like to be with people unless there is chemistry for a good conversation that changes our perspectives or adds dimension, or if we are working on something. I don&amp;#x27;t like &amp;quot;hanging out&amp;quot; because that usually involves a lot of cleverness with humor (and my humor isn&amp;#x27;t clever-- what I find funny is usually when someone has made some ironic error in their thinking or behavior, and there aren&amp;#x27;t a lot of ways to communicate this socially without knowing how to set up a good story-- which I don&amp;#x27;t know how to do).&lt;p&gt;Consequently, there are a handful of people I consider &amp;quot;good friends&amp;quot; but I don&amp;#x27;t see these people very often because our relationship is implicitly understood-- I&amp;#x27;m here if you want advice, you&amp;#x27;re there if I want advice, and they know I&amp;#x27;ll flake if I get invited to something that seems to require anything more relaxed.&lt;p&gt;I don&amp;#x27;t know why this is the case, but I can say that the friends I do have, despite barely seeing them in person, I cherish very much. The kind of people who are okay with that bond are usually beyond interesting, and I enjoy being around as they tell me about the exciting things they feel and think and experience. They all have such a way with putting their experiences and all the nuances into words that I can connect with. I don&amp;#x27;t think you can ever fully understand someone, but I understand my friends in the exact places that they understand me. Maybe that is what all friendships do, but I&amp;#x27;m not sure. Just thought I&amp;#x27;d share.</text></comment>
<story><title>How Do You Make or Maintain Friends? Put in the Time</title><url>https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-waves/201803/how-do-you-make-or-maintain-friends-put-in-the-time</url></story><parent_chain></parent_chain><comment><author>personlurking</author><text>At times, however, underdeveloped social connections are also important.&lt;p&gt;The secret to great opportunities? The person you haven&amp;#x27;t met yet (TED, 14m) &lt;a href=&quot;https:&amp;#x2F;&amp;#x2F;www.youtube.com&amp;#x2F;watch?v=TFgtI7nt6Q4&amp;amp;t=2s&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https:&amp;#x2F;&amp;#x2F;www.youtube.com&amp;#x2F;watch?v=TFgtI7nt6Q4&amp;amp;t=2s&lt;/a&gt;&lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;We often find ourselves stuck in narrow social circles with similar people. What habits confine us, and how can we break them? Organizational psychologist Tanya Menon considers how we can be more intentional about expanding our social universes -- and how it can lead to new ideas and opportunities.&amp;quot;</text></comment>