<story><title>‘Date me’ Google Docs and the hyper-optimized quest for love</title><url>https://www.wired.com/story/date-me-google-docs-and-the-hyper-optimized-quest-for-love/</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>type-r</author><text>People like to rag on dating apps -- they&amp;#x27;re shallow, promote surface-level judgements &amp;#x2F; interactions. But I think this is simply mirroring how things works in the real world (in very early considerations of who to approach). Getting this person out of the app into an in-person conversation should be the goal.&lt;p&gt;A &amp;#x27;date me&amp;#x27; profile feels like the opposite -- trying to get a bunch of data on someone before actually interacting with them in person. I think this is completely backwards and we need to lean in far more into IRL experiences.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>stared</author><text>Things IRL work differently. I mean, if you are into picking people at bars just by their looks, then yeah, dating apps go in that line. If you have long conversations with a friend of a friend at a party (or on some special interest groups), then dating apps are nothing like that. OK, maybe OkCupid, but back in the good old days.&lt;p&gt;I often hear from women dating men that they would have swiped left their partner on Tinder.</text></comment>
<story><title>‘Date me’ Google Docs and the hyper-optimized quest for love</title><url>https://www.wired.com/story/date-me-google-docs-and-the-hyper-optimized-quest-for-love/</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>type-r</author><text>People like to rag on dating apps -- they&amp;#x27;re shallow, promote surface-level judgements &amp;#x2F; interactions. But I think this is simply mirroring how things works in the real world (in very early considerations of who to approach). Getting this person out of the app into an in-person conversation should be the goal.&lt;p&gt;A &amp;#x27;date me&amp;#x27; profile feels like the opposite -- trying to get a bunch of data on someone before actually interacting with them in person. I think this is completely backwards and we need to lean in far more into IRL experiences.</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>Philip-J-Fry</author><text>The issue with dating apps is that your discoverability is locked behind how much you pay.&lt;p&gt;I used to get lots of Tinder matches. Then I went about 2 months of nothing. I felt like it must be holding matches back. So I paid for a Tinder boost, where you become seen by more people for 30 minutes (or so they say). Within a few minutes I had like 2 new matches, within 30 minutes I had 6.&lt;p&gt;Now, if Tinder was doing what they claimed, why aren&amp;#x27;t they showing me to these people? Why don&amp;#x27;t they show me to people who have the same interests? Clearly there&amp;#x27;s more people that would match with me but they can only find them when you pay up money.&lt;p&gt;From a cynical business POV it&amp;#x27;s in a dating app&amp;#x27;s best interest to not let you find a relationship and keep you spending money&amp;#x2F;watching ads.&lt;p&gt;You could say they want you to have a relationship so you spread good words and bring in new users, but all my experiences go against that.</text></comment>