<story><title>Why Men Are Hard to Help</title><url>https://nationalaffairs.com/publications/detail/why-men-are-hard-to-help</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>cercatrova</author><text>Somewhat related, but in my experience with other male friends, oftentimes (not all of course but at least a few, anecdotally) women might say it&amp;#x27;s okay to tell them about a problem and&amp;#x2F;or cry, but as soon as you do, they are immediately turned off by it and no longer see you as a strong man who can provide for her.&lt;p&gt;Some of the aforementioned male friends have even been broken up with due to such an incident. It&amp;#x27;s of course nonsense because every human being regardless of gender should be able to express one&amp;#x27;s feelings and cry if needed, but perhaps not everyone sees it that way.&lt;p&gt;It is an interesting example of a revealed preference in the sociological space [0].&lt;p&gt;[0] &lt;a href=&quot;https:&amp;#x2F;&amp;#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&amp;#x2F;wiki&amp;#x2F;Revealed_preference&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https:&amp;#x2F;&amp;#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&amp;#x2F;wiki&amp;#x2F;Revealed_preference&lt;/a&gt;</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>globalreset</author><text>People here who pretend this is not case are deluding themselves and others.&lt;p&gt;100%. Many data points in my own life and lifes of other people I know. What woman say they will do and what the actually do are two completely different things. They can very easily rationalize about anything with &amp;quot;feelings&amp;quot;.&lt;p&gt;It&amp;#x27;s not exactly about crying per se, but psychological weakness. If you shed a tear on a funeral of your parent etc it&amp;#x27;s ok.&lt;p&gt;But the moment guy seems like a wimp, they loose all attractiveness. They will get to hear that things got boring, or relationship is not fulfilling enough or something else like that at the first convenient opportunity (a more promising candidate has shown up).</text></comment>
<story><title>Why Men Are Hard to Help</title><url>https://nationalaffairs.com/publications/detail/why-men-are-hard-to-help</url></story><parent_chain><item><author>cercatrova</author><text>Somewhat related, but in my experience with other male friends, oftentimes (not all of course but at least a few, anecdotally) women might say it&amp;#x27;s okay to tell them about a problem and&amp;#x2F;or cry, but as soon as you do, they are immediately turned off by it and no longer see you as a strong man who can provide for her.&lt;p&gt;Some of the aforementioned male friends have even been broken up with due to such an incident. It&amp;#x27;s of course nonsense because every human being regardless of gender should be able to express one&amp;#x27;s feelings and cry if needed, but perhaps not everyone sees it that way.&lt;p&gt;It is an interesting example of a revealed preference in the sociological space [0].&lt;p&gt;[0] &lt;a href=&quot;https:&amp;#x2F;&amp;#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&amp;#x2F;wiki&amp;#x2F;Revealed_preference&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;https:&amp;#x2F;&amp;#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&amp;#x2F;wiki&amp;#x2F;Revealed_preference&lt;/a&gt;</text></item></parent_chain><comment><author>leobg</author><text>I think there may be a misunderstanding. From my experience, women do feel closer to a man who is able to share his feelings, and, yes, cry. But expressing feelings is a very different thing from complaining and&amp;#x2F;or giving up responsibility. I’d argue the problem is that men are often weaker in the area of handling emotions in general, hence they tend to “flip” from “I’m feeling nothing at all” to “I’m useless and the world is going to hell”. That’s what freaks women out, because they feel they can no longer predict your actions. It scares them.&lt;p&gt;(Expose the generalizations. Am on my phone here with no proper keyboard.)</text></comment>