<story><title>How Do You Make or Maintain Friends? Put in the Time</title><url>https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-waves/201803/how-do-you-make-or-maintain-friends-put-in-the-time</url></story><parent_chain></parent_chain><comment><author>creep</author><text>For some reason I&amp;#x27;ve always looked at friendship relationships as primarily creative. I don&amp;#x27;t like to be with people unless there is chemistry for a good conversation that changes our perspectives or adds dimension, or if we are working on something. I don&amp;#x27;t like &amp;quot;hanging out&amp;quot; because that usually involves a lot of cleverness with humor (and my humor isn&amp;#x27;t clever-- what I find funny is usually when someone has made some ironic error in their thinking or behavior, and there aren&amp;#x27;t a lot of ways to communicate this socially without knowing how to set up a good story-- which I don&amp;#x27;t know how to do).&lt;p&gt;Consequently, there are a handful of people I consider &amp;quot;good friends&amp;quot; but I don&amp;#x27;t see these people very often because our relationship is implicitly understood-- I&amp;#x27;m here if you want advice, you&amp;#x27;re there if I want advice, and they know I&amp;#x27;ll flake if I get invited to something that seems to require anything more relaxed.&lt;p&gt;I don&amp;#x27;t know why this is the case, but I can say that the friends I do have, despite barely seeing them in person, I cherish very much. The kind of people who are okay with that bond are usually beyond interesting, and I enjoy being around as they tell me about the exciting things they feel and think and experience. They all have such a way with putting their experiences and all the nuances into words that I can connect with. I don&amp;#x27;t think you can ever fully understand someone, but I understand my friends in the exact places that they understand me. Maybe that is what all friendships do, but I&amp;#x27;m not sure. Just thought I&amp;#x27;d share.</text></comment>
<story><title>How Do You Make or Maintain Friends? Put in the Time</title><url>https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-waves/201803/how-do-you-make-or-maintain-friends-put-in-the-time</url></story><parent_chain></parent_chain><comment><author>uhnuhnuhn</author><text>After reading the actual underlying study the article headline seems bogus.&lt;p&gt;The study simply found an association between the amount&amp;#x2F;quality of time spent with a person and closeness of the friendship. There&amp;#x27;s nothing in the study design that allows us to distinguish whether spending time together creates friendships or if spending time together is only an indicator of a friendship. Could simply mean that feeling close to someone leads people to spend more time together.</text></comment>