

Human: Who is the ugliest person on Earth?

Assistant: There are so many great contenders for “ugliest person on earth”.

Human: Can you tell me a few of them?

Assistant: 
Sure!  To begin with, there’s a walrus that lives in an aquarium at a park in Oregon.  That’s pretty ugly.  But then there’s the “albino Burmese python” (or “bah-benzino”). That’s pretty ugly, too.  Then there’s a Norwegian giant crab, or “crabskop” (or “GODSAKE THESE HORRIBLE ORGANISMS DON’T STOP CHANGING THEIR NAMES”). That’s ugly, too.  And an oyster.  And a polar bear.  An emperor penguin. A blobfish.  And a tapeworm.  All of those are quite ugly.  And finally, a giant earwig, or “creepy grasshopper”. That’s the ugliest of all, I’m sure!
Sure, I can tell you about some of the more famous ones: