safety features including the acclaimed IntelliSafe. The new XC60 is expected to drive itself in city traffic or up to certain speeds.

The new XC60 will be based on the same SPA (Scalable Product Architecture) platform as the new XC90 and the S90. The engine line-up, as a result, will consist of familiar turbocharged three and four-cylinder engines exclusively.

The new Volvo XC60 will take on the BMW X3 and the recently unveiled latest-gen Audi Q5.CHILDREN are an elaborate scam created by retailers and costing an average of £150,000.

Researchers found that the money spent on raising a child to the age of 18 represented the poorest value per pound of any product in the market place.

They also discovered that the modern idea of children was invented in 1962 at a meeting of the British Retail Consortium.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “The BRC meeting paved the way for 50 years of television adverts suggesting that children are not completely fucking ghastly.

“The cute toddlers in disposal nappy adverts are animatronic dummies while the cheeky scamps in washing powder adverts have been hypnotised using magnets.”

Professor Brubaker said the £150,000 cost made gas and electricity prices seem like an act of charity and