same pews. Dr. Steelman came with his wife and sat in the back because of the crowd.

A man read a poem in the sanctuary full of people and said Stephen had been a Christian inspiration.

Rick, Stephen's partner, walked in the processional with the family. He kissed the casket before it was covered with dirt.

After burying Stephen, the Nevelses kept attending church, but their involvement dwindled. They stayed away from Dr. Steelman and the leadership.

Other gays at Red Bank Baptist would approach Matt and tell him in confidence that they hoped he could help make a change. One former church member who was gay and dying asked Matt to lead his funeral service at Red Bank.

As Matt became more outspoken about gay rights, Dr. Steelman worried about his influence.He asked Matt again to be careful about what he said at the funeral.

A week after Matt buried the man in 1995, three years after Stephen's death, Dr. Steelman chose to make his stance from the pulpit.

The pastor felt he had to be at least as public as Matt had been with his views.

He spoke firmly: The institution of the family was under siege, and softening toward sin was shortsighted and wrongheaded. Homosexuality was a sin. Don't be fooled. The church would not change its position on that.

A few people walked out.

Matt had his Bible in his lap. His skin turned gray. Frances looked over and worried he was going to have another heart attack.

Dr. Steelman's words felt like an assault.

After the service, Matt marched out. He didn't