long and creeping. Elmer jammed the brakes so abruptly that Red and Jack slammed to the floor. Homer barked, "Get out, ya little creeps!"

Red's entire mouth and throat were parched, his knees so watery that he fell stepping out. Homer marched them a few yards away as Elmer retrieved electrical tape from the glove compartment, and bound the boys' hands behind their backs.

"Get on your knees!" They did. Elmer tied blindfolds across their eyes, first Jack, then Red.

"Okay, ya little fairies. Wanna live? Beg."

Red tried to speak, tried to make some sort of sound, but his mouth was too dry, his tongue wouldn't move. His head poked forward, like an old tortoise, but he couldn't make a sound, not even to save his life. Jack choked out, "Listen...listen to me! Please! Please... Let us live. Please. We won't tell... Honest we won't, I swear to God, I swear on my grandmother's grave... This was all just for laughs. I get it! I can take a joke... Please, please, don't kill us..."

Lying on the ground, back to back, Jack managed to undo Red's hands. Red ripped off his blindfold, his hands were tingling as circulation returned, as he freed Jack. Darkness was descending when they stumbled to the end of the farm road, up a hill to the farmhouse, a family inside just sitting down to supper.

The evening was spent in police headquarters with their parents. Yes, the car was stolen, found abandoned a few hours later on the outskirts of Slingerland, NY, worse for the