my entire being. It had gotten to the point where it became unhealthy how much I was head over heels for this human being, and I did not know how to stop it. Nor did I want to. I was like a coke addict that yearned for her next high; Allan to me was my addiction, my “high”.
The breaking point of the relationship was when I graduated college in 2014 and finally became employed by the federal government after months of being an unemployed homeless college graduate. I became employed in Baltimore and needed to move from where he and I resided with his parents. However, Allan a graduate student with an increasing obligation of student loans and car payments, refused to move out of his parents’ homea changed man. After months of such harassment, I finally gave in on his birthday, December 22.
That night he messaged me telling me how he had moved out of his parents’ house to show me his “independence” and how because it was his birthday he had wished I would come visit him. Feeling guilty, I drove to his new apartment. From the start, my decisions were flawed. When I showed up, I had explicitly explained that I was simply dropping by, since I had planned to go to a “welcome back” party for a mutual friend visiting from Texas. He nodded eagerly in acknowledgement. He gave me a brief tour of his one-bedroom shoddy “bachelor” pad of an apartment. He then suggested we watch a movie to kill