all its might, snap[s] and break[s] and my poor friend falls ass backwards into his own nasty diarrhea.

He immediately gets up screaming and trying to brush himself off when he looks down and sees that the diarrhea he just had came out a weird green color and this causes him to start throwing up in his own pile of green shit while he is also still covered in his own green diarrhea. [source]

Has this been dramatized in a film yet? If not, is it too late to re-shoot scenes for Couples Retreat?

Onion Article Idea: Entire staff takes buyouts at homeless newspaper.

In Sunday's episode of Mad Men, Sterling Cooper excitedly lands the Hilton account. Meanwhile, an ad for ExtenZe aired during a commercial break.

Griffin: I got the crap beat5 cents per plastic bag requested by the customer at checkout, as of June 1, 2009. [source]

» Five cents is an ineffective surcharge. Ban or die!

The "eco bags" I saw people carrying are the same shitty bags you get at trade shows.

» I saw this ad in a 12-page Globe and Mail report on private schools:

» I read about Diana Thorneycroft's "Group of Seven Awkward Moments" art exhibit  photographs of dioramas set against landscape paintings by the Group of Seven.

"Nickel Belt Trailer Park"

Thorneycroft previously crafted "The Canadian Martyrdom Series."

"Martyrdom of the Great One"

» Battle of the Blades is a Canadian spin on Dancing with the Stars that pairs former National Hockey League players with figure skaters.

» Favourite George: Stroumboulopoulos, Stephanopoulos or Papadapolis?

George Snuffleupagus. Ha! I kill me.

»