Rarely does a story involving Immigration and Customs Enforcement, explosives, and a man trying to escape his own sense of inadequacy through law enforcement cosplay end in anything but tragedy for innocent parties, so please allow me to relay to you an incredible tale about how one sad man’s fantasy—guns, improvised explosives, and a desire to align himself with a racist agency—spun out of control and landed him in jail.

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The Sacramento Beereports that, for months!, 26-year-old Matthew Johnston posed as an ICE agent to impress his girlfriend, parents, daughter, and friends. Now, however, he will be spending the next two years in federal prison after he pled guilty to possessing an unregistered explosive. Poor guy.

Johnston was so committed to the role, the Sacramento Bee reports, that he hadICE badges, uniforms, and red and blue police lights:

Nearly all the trappings of Johnston’s life in Fontana, California, suggested he had a job with the federal law enforcement agency, according to court records: He wore ICE badges and uniforms. He used blue and red police lights on his car. He had a tactical vest that said “federal agent.” Johnston described his job on Facebook as “fugitive apprehension” for the Department of Homeland Security, which includes ICE.

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He lived the life well:

He once flashed his fake police lights to pursue another car, which caused a collision, prosecutors said. On another occasion, he posed as an ICE agent to speak with someone about a possible undocumented person. Johnston also bragged that he was an ICE agent to patrons and workers at