for the students, OECD figures show the US spends on them nearly double what the UK does.

I'm willing to bet £9,000 that no teenager wavering over their Ucas form has ever picked a university because of its vice-chancellor. No matter: HE managers now pose as CEOs, deserving of similar pay and perks. Take the Open University's Martin Bean, the highest-paid boss of the lot, on £407,000: he's advertising for a £45,000-a-year speechwriter to seek out "exciting new platforms". It's only a matter of time before some Russell Group head gets his own Learjet.

Yet CEOs of public companies are answerable to their shareholders and customers. Not so university fat cats. While academics are audited more than ever before – loaded up with paperwork, expected to make "academic impact" –their bosses enjoy the bare minimum of oversight.

At Royal Holloway, where students are petitioning against their principal's pay, Paul Layzell's salary is partly determined by an appraisal of his performance – an appraisal between two people, one of whom is Paul Layzell. When the pay recommendations go before the college council, the student reps have to leave the room. So much for the coalition's bold new era of the student as customer and the customer as king.

For a man who doesn't welcome dissent, try Birmingham's David Eastwood. He's won special powers to remove from committees anyone he doesn't like. And he appears not to like a lot of people: Birmingham academics last year voted to strike against "aggressive" management tactics, while students planning peaceful marches have been sent