walk out and beat it by half a foot or more and walk away with a gold medal," he says.

Just how impressive were his records? His best standing long jump was 11 feet, 4 7/8 inches. Nick Winkelman, director of performance education at Athletes' Performance, takes the nation's top college football players and trains them for the NFL Combine. He says current players don't come close to Ewry.

"Last year, we had Julio Jones just clear 11 feet, and that would be absolutely jaw-dropping. So to see anybody get into the high 10s — let alone break 11 feet — is absolutely phenomenal," Winkelman says.

More than 100 years ago, Ewry jumped farther than any modern NFL player has ever jumped. Higher too — no NFL player has ever recordedthe collectible portrets of The Glorious, and he knew all the answers to all the questions and tests on The Glorious Life! And now everyone will see that he didn't waste his nights on achieving all the stages of being a Virtuous Pupil in the eyes of The Glorious!

The Father of the Nation finally noticed him!

The Father of the Nation sent him PERSONNALLY a letter saying that he needs him on the greatest mission that ever missioned in catkind history!

The Father of the Nation, the Glorious Sun of Infinite Wisdom... wrote him personally a letter!!!

The Father of the Nation, the Visionary of Triumph and Excellency of Progress... knows... his... name!

OMG OMG OMG! This was the bestest day in all his kitty life!

Oh, how he could smell the envy