Would it hurt you to put in a bottle of whisky on top?"

"Old lady McKendrick? You stole chickens from old lady McKendrick? That poor soul that comes on every week at every sermon? But what did she do to you?"

"What did she do to meee?" Old Tom gasps for air and wipes his forehead with his sleeve as he goes through the recent memories.

"What she _didn't_ do to me! She sure deserved it, that sneaky old fox. I told her that pleasuring an old widows is hard work, as it is. But, nooo, she wanted three times a week!"

"Old lady McKendrick?"

"And she works me like a slave, Father! She'll break the bed and keep on going! No wonder her husband died so early! And I'm not a youngLord knows justice is on my side!"

A moment of silence, as Father Albert still tries to make sense of the ramblings.

"Old... lady... McKendrick?"

"And while I was getting my fair share of birdies, the skies opened, Father! The very skies opened above me, and the clouds parted, and it was light all around as bright as day! And _behold_!"

The shout echoes so loud in the church that the priest bounces back.

"The Holy Spirit in the form of a cat descended from the heavens carrying the message of the times to come. The cat spoke as clear as you and me, Father, and its voice was the voice of angels, and my heart stood still in wonder! And the truth was clear as whisky as I was right there and