a couple with a gay son in his 40s and a couple with a gay son who is 12.

Many of the families tell stories of leaving churches or being asked not to come back.

Matt tells them about how he and Frances walked away from Red Bank Baptist. How hard it is to find a place now for his faith. He doesn't say it aloud, but he still longs for his traditions, his church.

When he is alone, he thinks of this absence as a kind of emptiness. He tried other churches but could never bring himself to pull his name from the Red Bank membership roster. His son Keith is still a member there. Matt knows that even Keith and his other children don't believe as he does. Theydon't think that their brother was born gay.

Matt doesn't pressure them to change their minds.

Sometimes he regrets leaving the church. Sometimes he doesn't. He wishes for some grand middle ground. A Red Bank Baptist that teaches the Bible but doesn't talk about "the gays."

The country's views continue changing. There are medicines for HIV, and people no longer call it a "gay disease." Children will grow up and know the word "gay." They will see gay characters on television and in the movies. They will know that gay marriage is allowed in some states, that the president of the United States recently said he supported it.

Change has come to Red Bank Baptist, too, although its doctrines remain the same.

The body recently hired a new pastor, a young man from