Kids are going to learn about pegging eventually; they might as well learn it from these two.

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Jeremy Irons

Oscar: Best Actor in a Leading Role for Reversal of Fortune (1991)

Emmy: Outstanding Narrator for Big Cat Week (2014), Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie for Elizabeth I (2006), Outstanding Voice-Over Performance for The Great War and the Shaping of the 20th Century (1997)

Tony: Best Actor in a Play for The Real Thing (1984)

How Close Is He? Every actor who only needs a Grammy is just an audiobook away. Our suggestion: Start cozying up to Hilary Mantel now to get that sweet Mirror and the Light gig.

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Al Pacino

Oscar: Best Actor in a Leading Role for Scent of a Woman (1993)

Emmy: Outstanding Lead Actorin a Miniseries or a Movie for You Don’t Know Jack (2010), Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie for Angels in America (2004)

Tony: Best Leading Actor in a Play for The Basic Training of Pavlo Hummel (1977), Best Supporting Actor in a Play for Does a Tiger Wear a Necktie? (1969)

How Close Is He? Every actor who only needs a Grammy is just an audiobook away. Our suggestion: a one-man audio performance of Merchant of Venice!

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Geoffrey Rush

Oscar: Best Actor in a Leading Role for Shine (1997)

Emmy: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie for The Life and Death of Peter Sellers (2005)

Tony: Best Leading Actor in a Play for Exit the King (2009)

How Close Is He? Every actor who