man not been doing everything wrong at once.

A shoplifter was caught attempting to steal strawberries, a red velvet cake, coconut custard, and a random selection of other items. The man admitted to stealing, but offered up a sensible explanation to police. He said he had recently purchased a box of strawberries that were "buy one, get one free." After not receiving his second box for free, the man decided to take a strawberry shortcut, telling police, "I took the law in my own hands."

A Warhammer Putrid Blightking figure was stolen from a shop. Also known as the Exalted Champions of Nurgle, this loose brotherhood that populates the northernmost regions of the world appears to have lured another person over to the dark side, tempted by a $55 figurine.

Achurch was vandalized when someone spray-painted "Jesus is an adult Santa" on the front window of the building.

An officer asked an intoxicated man stumbling down King Street where he came from, to which the man replied, "Heaven." Fortunately, no one was reported to have been touched by an angel that evening.

A clothing designer handed over $1,625 worth of items to an acquaintance who told her the clothing would be featured in Oprah's newest book.

A man and his family got a taste of Charleston hospitality while walking to dinner when a passerby randomly reached out and gave him a "nipple twister," as it was described in an incident report. It is unclear if these were his actual words or the official nomenclature of the Charleston police.

A woman wired $1,250