towel and proceeds to knock out teeth and break bones, as only 1990s Seagal could. Best of all, he mocks the shit out of the mooks he's beating as he does so, making the scene both hilarious and erection-worthy.

The plot is essentially that Seagal is chasing a coked up gangster-wannabe around NYC, throwing people through windows and beating them bloody in the process. Oh, and he saves a puppy. If nothing else, OFJ deserves note for being the only thing in history to lend credence to aikido as a fighting style. Additionally, "Sticks" in the above scene was none other than Dan Inosanto, Bruce Lee's most famous and successful student. If you're still underwhelmed, Seagal's actually been credited with coaching Anderson Silva and Lyoto Machida to knockout victoriesin the UFC, and he's married to an actual Mongol, which is fucking awesome. Although Seagal's fight scenes eventually devolved into him flailing his arms in front of the camera like a basketball player in one of their epic "thug" slap "fights", Seagal in his prime was about one thing- kicking ass like he was a donkey herder on a timetable.

Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior. Boasting that same total disregard for the health of their extras as the Raid, Ong Bak features Tony Jaa wrecking shop using Muay Boran, and ultrahard style abandoned in modern times for the much more sensitive style Muay Thai. I'll admit the plot is fucking retarded (a guy living in the jungle travels to the big city to battle crime lords for trinkets stolen