Encarta.

Instead of King Midas,

there appeared Leonidas --

"Phrygia? Madame, THIS IS SPARTA!"



There was a young lad from Duntroon

Who was born about three months too soon.

He hadn't the luck

To be born from a fuck,

But a wet dream transferred with a spoon



there once was a girl on the net

who sexed up a man she had met

he said "are you free?

I write x k c d."

she replied with "you're making me wet."



A daring young woman named Alice

used a dynamite stick as a phallus

They found her vagina

In North Carolina,

And bits of her anus in Dallas.



Among all these poems, a few

of the best recite old jokes anew.

But there's one I don't see,

And the reason must be:

In Russia, the limerick writes you.



The lass I brought home was a prize,

With an alluring set of bright blueeyes,

Her breasts, so well kept,

Were what I'd expect,

But her penis was quite a surprise.





There once was a plumber from Brie,

Who was plumbing a lass by the sea,

She cried "Plumber, stop plumbing,

There's somebody coming!"

Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."



There was a zookeep from Nantucket

Who was struck by a fish -- couldn't duck it

He was thrown from the cage

By a pinniped's rage.

Quoth the walrus, "You can't has mah bukkit!"



There once was a vampire named Mable,

whose periods were really quite stable.

And every full moon,

she'd get out a spoon

and drink herself under the table.



There once was a gal from Peru

whose limericks stopped on line two.



There once was a boy from Eau Claire

Who had given his mother a scare

"I see what you're doing,"

She said, "and you're moving

With your auntie and uncle in