Rouge Parish, Louisiana. Prior to 1994, the plaintiffs conducted logging operations on these properties. However, in early 1994, the United States Army Corps of Engineers (the "Corps") issued an order requiring the Sharps to cease and desist from their logging activities. It is the Corps' position that the properties are wetlands protected by the Clean Water Act,[1] and that the Sharps' logging activities involve the unpermitted discharge of dredge and fill material into those wetlands. The Corps then referred the matter *693 to the Environmental Protection Agency (the "EPA"), which issued an administrative order of its own. The EPA order required the Sharps to commence restorative efforts, to apply for an after-the-fact Corps permit for the dredge and fill activities already undertaken, and to apply for a Corpsmore Gospel material and not for legal/ethical books, but whatever. 4 This is the parable of the Good Christian. 5 A certain Pastafarian went down from Tortuga to Isla Muerta, and fell among ninjas, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. 6 And by chance there came down a certain pirate that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. 7 And likewise a stripper, when she was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side. 8 But a certain Christian, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him, 9 And went to him, and bound up his wounds,