and
Agamemnon not present,--it will almost break my heart; but I hope the
best,--that they are only boasting at present, and will be quiet until
I am ready." "It is misery," he repeats, "for me to be laid up
dismantled."

It was during this period of comparative inactivity in port, followed
by monotonous though arduous winter cruising off Toulon, which was
broken only by equally dreary stays at San Fiorenzo, that Nelson found
time to brood over the neglect of which he thought himself the victim,
in the omission of Lord Hood to notice more markedly his services in
Corsica. It is usually disagreeable to the uninterested bystander to
see an excessive desire for praise, even under the guise of just
recognition of work done. Words of complaint, whether heard or read,
strike a discord to one who himself at thewithin this week
past;--what I must have felt during the whole siege may be easily
conceived. Yet I am scarcely mentioned. I freely forgive, but cannot
forget. This and much more ought to have been mentioned. It is known
that, for two months, I blockaded Bastia with a squadron; only fifty
sacks of flour got into the town. At San Fiorenzo and Calvi, for two
months before, nothing got in, and four French frigates could not get
out, and are now ours. Yet my diligence is not mentioned; and others,
for keeping succours out of Calvi for a few summer months, are
handsomely mentioned. _Such things are_. I have got upon a subject
near my heart, which is full when I think of the treatment I have
received.... The taking of Corsica, like the taking of St. Juan's, has
cost