request went unnoticed as her husband then threw the pizza he was carrying in the face of another man. Or as Dean Martin would say, "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a moron."

A woman was upset with her mother for being intoxicated around her kids, so she hit her in the head with a can of spaghetti.

A man told police that his ex-girlfriend has been harassing him online and sending threatening texts. The man claims that his ex even went so far as to place an obituary notice for him in his hometown newspaper, which caused his family a great deal of concern. The news of his death was greatly exaggerated.

A son told police that his father had consumed about 12 beersbefore falling out of his boat while trying to start the motor.

An off-duty stripper attacked a cab driver with her stiletto heels outside of a gas station at 4:35 a.m.

One party-hopping Padawan was feeling the Force a bit too hard when police found Darth Vader-shaped MDMA tablets in his vehicle. A quick check of the man's midichlorian count would likely determine whether or not he was destined for a galaxy far, far away.

A woman proceeded to hang out in the restroom of a grocery store as she drank several containers of wine that she had shoplifted. After retrieving the woman, police found four cartons of wine had been left behind in the stall where the woman was getting flushed on blush.

The manager at a grocery store contacted police