California Street, SF - scene of the shooting deaths of nine people, including a gunman with a grudge. SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE PHOTO BY CHRIS STEWART

THE SADNESS NEVER LEAVES YOU

MICHELLE JEAN

San Francisco Police Officer Michelle Jean was thinking of two things as she entered the highrise: how to stay alive, and how to kill the gunman.

He was last reported on the 32nd floor, so she and three other cops took an elevator to the 29th floor, hoping to come upon him from below.

As they entered the stairwell, they saw blood pouring down the wall from above. Below, Jean saw a pair of eyes looking up at them. Several minutes of "sheer terror" passed before they established that Sergeant Pat Tobin and Officer Steve Landi were below them.

A few minuteslater, she and the other police came upon Gian Luigi Ferri's body in the stairwell. He had shot himself in the head.

"I knew immediately that he was a suspect," Jean said. "Who else would have those two Tec-9s strapped around his shoulders and a .45-caliber pistol? It was a relief to know we weren't going to have to get into this huge gun battle with him. We were standing in pools of blood, so we kept on going to the 32nd floor, where we heard there were other victims."

EARL SANDERS

To this day, every time Assistant Chief Earl Sanders sees the 101 California highrise, he is filled with a deep sense of disappointment.

"You would think we'd learned our lesson -- when you see what happens when those (assault weapons)