week absence. never mind that the kitchen counter still has plates and glasses to be put back in cabinets, that there are still grocery bags out in the car. i am looking out the window again, and basking in the light. never mind that i had to frantically dash out the door yesterday to make it to walter's first vet appointment, forgotten in the upside down state of my schedule, this house, my life. there was beauty in the balance of my carrying little walter in to the clinic and walking out with both walter and the little white box containing aspen's ashes, which rested beautifully on the front seat beside me as we all made our journey back home. there is such beauty in a balance likeposting blurry photos of a fuzzy little face or spotted, swollen belly, and wish i could keep a moving target still for long enough to snap a clear and focused image. ah, puppy love - the joy and the frustration of it, all rolled up into one. i sit here at my desk with legs folded up on the stool, lest my feet and ankles be chewed by needle teeth to bits; i watch my little creature twitching as he dreams some big old dream, and wonder what the hell i've brought into what was formerly a very peaceful life... a life far too quiet, with my best buddy gone. aspen was two years old when he came to us, far past the chewing and the whimpering, the