It was desperation that turned the people of Takoma Park, Maryland into liars. Strangers' cars filled their streets, crowding the quiet Washington, DC suburb with interstate traffic asylum refugees.

The suburbanites retaliated by firing up Waze, the navigation app they blamed for routing the unwanted burst of traffic their way. They began reporting fake car crashes, according to The Washington Post, to stave off commuters hoping to beat traffic by taking their—yeah, their!—streets instead of the usual, clogged thoroughfares. Similar complaints about Waze-directed traffic on usually quiet side streets have popped up all over the place, in San Jose, Vancouver, and the spiritual home of traffic, Los Angeles.

Lying to the system hasn't worked. When one person reports a crash and every other driver says the road is clear, Wazeof one hand and, possibly, ‘PATÉ’ on the other.

The White Horse on Brixton Hill is usually a dependable boozer, with music and a lively crowd, but today it smelt of bleach and the beer was off. Perhaps it was because it was still early. At least it was open. Two other pubs on the same stretch, The Telegraph and the George IV, haven’t fared so well, the former now some bullshit God-squad gaff and the latter a Tesco.

We took our drinks out onto the terrace at the front and the sun came out to join us.

‘I remember dropping into the George IV with Spider,’ I said. ‘The dancefloor was filled with lads with their tops off, which was a surprise. I turned to him to tell him it