product of the overactive imaginations of frustrated, sexually dissatisfied daydreamers," Penthouse's Dr. Emil Shank said. "Upon close examination of this most recent submission, we feel confident in stating that it is 100 percent authentic, despite how unbelievable the story may at first appear to non-experts."


"And what a story it is!" Shank added. He then emitted a long, low whistle as a nonverbal indicator of just how sexually arousing the anonymous man's experience was.

"Before I go any further, let me first describe myself and my friend and camping buddy, Jake," the reader told reporters. "We are both in our mid-20s, and are extremely muscular and athletic, with tanned, sculpted bodies, luscious locks of blonde hair, and tight, shapely buns."


The reader went on to state that both he and hisfriend Jake are extraordinarily well-endowed, with penis lengths of 10 and 12 inches, respectively, well above the national penis-length average of five and three-quarters inches.

"Now that you know what we look like," the reader continued, "let me just say that when Jake and I decided to make plans for an ordinary weekend camping getaway, the last thing on our minds was the possibility of running into three gorgeous, nymphomaniacal, bi-sexual sorority co-eds, miles from civilization, surrounded by the primal wilderness of unspoiled nature, where our passions could reach untold heights far from the disapproving eyes of society."


"But," he clarified, "I'm getting ahead of myself."

The unnamed reader then recounted how, while fishing, he and Jake were surprised to discover a young, unclothed woman bathing at the nearby shoreline, her