Barney was born in 1876 in Dayton, Ohio, to Albert Clifford Barney and Alice Pike Barney.
Her mother was of French, Dutch and German ancestry and her father was the son of a wealthy manufacturer of railway cars and of English descent.
Her maternal grandfather's father was Jewish.

When Barney was five years old her family spent the summer at New York's Long Beach Hotel where Oscar Wilde happened to be speaking on his American lecture tour.
 Wilde scooped her up as she ran past him fleeing a group of small boys, held her out of their reach then sat her down on his knee and told her a story.
The next day he joined Barney and her mother on the beach, where their conversation changed the course of Alice's life, inspiring her to pursue art seriously, despite, years later, her husband's disapproval.
She later studied under Carolus-Duran and James McNeill Whistler.
Many of Alice Pike Barney's paintings are now in the Smithsonian American Art Museum.

Like many girls of her time, Barney had a haphazard education.

Her interest in the French language began with a governess who read Jules Verne stories aloud to her so she would have to learn quickly to understand them.
Later she and her younger sister Laura Clifford Barney attended Les Ruches, a French boarding school in Fontainebleau, France, founded by feminist Marie Souvestre, who also founded Allenswood Academy, in Wimbledon, then outside London, which was attended by such notables as Eleanor Roosevelt.
As an adult, she spoke and wrote French fluently.

When she was ten her family moved from Ohio to Washington, D.C., spending summers in Bar Harbor, Maine.
As the rebellious and unconventional daughter of one of the wealthiest families in town, she was often mentioned in Washington newspapers.
In her early twenties she made headlines by galloping through Bar Harbor while driving a second horse on a lead ahead of her and by riding astride instead of sidesaddle.

Barney later said she knew by age 12 she was lesbian and was determined to "live openly, without hiding anything."
In 1899, after seeing the courtesan Liane de Pougy at a dance hall in Paris, Barney presented herself at de Pougy's residence in a page costume and announced she was a "page of love" sent by Sappho.

Although de Pougy was one of the most famous women in France, constantly sought after by wealthy and titled men, Barney's audacity charmed her.
Their brief affair became the subject of de Pougy's tell-all roman à clef, Idylle Saphique (Sapphic Idyll).
Published in 1901, this book became the talk of Paris, reprinted more than 60 times in its first year.
Barney was soon well known as the model for one of the characters.
By this time, however, the two had already broken up after quarreling repeatedly over Barney's desire to "rescue" de Pougy from her life as a courtesan.

Barney herself contributed a chapter to Idylle Saphique in which she described reclining at de Pougy's feet in a screened box at the theater, watching Sarah Bernhardt's play Hamlet.
During intermission, Barney (as "Flossie") compares Hamlet's plight with that of women: "What is there for women who feel the passion for action when pitiless Destiny holds them in chains?
Destiny made us women at a time when the law of men is the only law that is recognized."
 She also wrote Lettres à une Connue (Letters to a Woman I Have Known), her own epistolary novel about the affair.
Although Barney failed to find a publisher for the book and later called it naïve and clumsy, it is notable for its discussion of homosexuality, which Barney regarded as natural and compared to albinism.
 "My queerness," she said, "is not a vice, is not deliberate, and harms no one."
Barney was born in 1876 in Dayton, Ohio, to Albert Clifford Barney and Alice Pike Barney. Her mother was of French, Dutch and German ancestry and her father was the son of a wealthy manufacturer of railway cars and of English descent. Her maternal grandfather's father was Jewish.
When Barney was five years old her family spent the summer at New York's Long Beach Hotel where Oscar Wilde happened to be speaking on his American lecture tour.  Wilde scooped her up as she ran past him fleeing a group of small boys, held her out of their reach then sat her down on his knee and told her a story. The next day he joined Barney and her mother on the beach, where their conversation changed the course of Alice's life, inspiring her to pursue art seriously, despite, years later, her husband's disapproval. She later studied under Carolus-Duran and James McNeill Whistler. Many of Alice Pike Barney's paintings are now in the Smithsonian American Art Museum.
Like many girls of her time, Barney had a haphazard education.
Her interest in the French language began with a governess who read Jules Verne stories aloud to her so she would have to learn quickly to understand them. Later she and her younger sister Laura Clifford Barney attended Les Ruches, a French boarding school in Fontainebleau, France, founded by feminist Marie Souvestre, who also founded Allenswood Academy, in Wimbledon, then outside London, which was attended by such notables as Eleanor Roosevelt. As an adult, she spoke and wrote French fluently.
When she was ten her family moved from Ohio to Washington, D.C., spending summers in Bar Harbor, Maine. As the rebellious and unconventional daughter of one of the wealthiest families in town, she was often mentioned in Washington newspapers. In her early twenties she made headlines by galloping through Bar Harbor while driving a second horse on a lead ahead of her and by riding astride instead of sidesaddle.
Barney later said she knew by age 12 she was lesbian and was determined to "live openly, without hiding anything." In 1899, after seeing the courtesan Liane de Pougy at a dance hall in Paris, Barney presented herself at de Pougy's residence in a page costume and announced she was a "page of love" sent by Sappho.
Although de Pougy was one of the most famous women in France, constantly sought after by wealthy and titled men, Barney's audacity charmed her. Their brief affair became the subject of de Pougy's tell-all roman à clef, Idylle Saphique (Sapphic Idyll). Published in 1901, this book became the talk of Paris, reprinted more than 60 times in its first year. Barney was soon well known as the model for one of the characters. By this time, however, the two had already broken up after quarreling repeatedly over Barney's desire to "rescue" de Pougy from her life as a courtesan.
Barney herself contributed a chapter to Idylle Saphique in which she described reclining at de Pougy's feet in a screened box at the theater, watching Sarah Bernhardt's play Hamlet. During intermission, Barney (as "Flossie") compares Hamlet's plight with that of women: "What is there for women who feel the passion for action when pitiless Destiny holds them in chains? Destiny made us women at a time when the law of men is the only law that is recognized."  She also wrote Lettres à une Connue (Letters to a Woman I Have Known), her own epistolary novel about the affair. Although Barney failed to find a publisher for the book and later called it naïve and clumsy, it is notable for its discussion of homosexuality, which Barney regarded as natural and compared to albinism.  "My queerness," she said, "is not a vice, is not deliberate, and harms no one."
Natalie Clifford Barney