Tannen once described family discourse as "a prime example…of the nexus of needs for both power and connection in human relationships.
She coined the term "connection maneuvers" to describe interactions that take place in the closeness dimension of the traditional model of power and connection; this term is meant to contrast with the "control maneuvers," which, according to psychologists Millar, Rogers, and Bavelas, take place in the power dimension of the same model.


Tannen challenged the conventional view of power (hierarchy) and connection (solidarity) as "unidimensional and mutually exclusive" and offered her own kind of model for mapping the interplay of these two aspects of communication, which takes the form of a two-dimensional grid (Figure 1).

In this model, the vertical axis represents the level of power in the interaction, and the horizontal axis represents connection.
Having presented this model, Tannen proposed that in the American paradigm, a sibling relationship would be mapped in the bottom left quadrant, as there is a high level of closeness and a relative equality that is not comparable to the power dynamic in an American parent/child relationship.
Using this new model, Tannen argues that connection maneuvers do not only occur independently of control maneuvers.
Among other examples, she mentions a wife who refuses to let her husband take over making popcorn by saying "You always burn it".
According to Tannen, the wife's resistance to her husband's request is a control maneuver, but by citing a potential undesirable effect for her family (i.e. burnt popcorn), she ties a connection maneuver into her attempt to enforce a decision.

Tannen also highlights ventriloquizing – which she explains as a "phenomenon by which a person speaks not only for another but also as another" – as a strategy for integrating connection maneuvers into other types of interactions.
As an example of this, she cites an exchange recorded by her research team in which a mother attempts to convince her son to pick up his toys by ventriloquizing the family's dogs: "[extra high pitch] We're naughty, but we're not as naughty as Jared".
Tannen once described family discourse as "a prime example…of the nexus of needs for both power and connection in human relationships. She coined the term "connection maneuvers" to describe interactions that take place in the closeness dimension of the traditional model of power and connection; this term is meant to contrast with the "control maneuvers," which, according to psychologists Millar, Rogers, and Bavelas, take place in the power dimension of the same model.

Tannen challenged the conventional view of power (hierarchy) and connection (solidarity) as "unidimensional and mutually exclusive" and offered her own kind of model for mapping the interplay of these two aspects of communication, which takes the form of a two-dimensional grid (Figure 1). 
In this model, the vertical axis represents the level of power in the interaction, and the horizontal axis represents connection. Having presented this model, Tannen proposed that in the American paradigm, a sibling relationship would be mapped in the bottom left quadrant, as there is a high level of closeness and a relative equality that is not comparable to the power dynamic in an American parent/child relationship. Using this new model, Tannen argues that connection maneuvers do not only occur independently of control maneuvers. Among other examples, she mentions a wife who refuses to let her husband take over making popcorn by saying "You always burn it". According to Tannen, the wife's resistance to her husband's request is a control maneuver, but by citing a potential undesirable effect for her family (i.e. burnt popcorn), she ties a connection maneuver into her attempt to enforce a decision.
Tannen also highlights ventriloquizing – which she explains as a "phenomenon by which a person speaks not only for another but also as another" – as a strategy for integrating connection maneuvers into other types of interactions. As an example of this, she cites an exchange recorded by her research team in which a mother attempts to convince her son to pick up his toys by ventriloquizing the family's dogs: "[extra high pitch] We're naughty, but we're not as naughty as Jared".
Deborah Tannen