Throughout his five years on General Synod, Miln worked with the Reverend Richard Kirker, an openly gay clergyman who had been refused priesthood by Dr Robert Runcie and who had, with others, set up the Gay Christian Movement, later the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement, and became its general secretary.

In 1986 Miln met Derek Pattinson, then secretary-general of the General Synod of the Church of England and chairman of the executive committee of SPCK, formerly the Society for the Promotion of Christian Knowledge.
They lived together for some years in a Church-owned flat in Westminster.
The then Bishop of London, David Hope, Baron Hope of Thornes, said he assumed "their domestic arrangements were satisfactory and wholesome".
Pattinson travelled as part of his work, and took Miln with him on a trip to South Africa in 1990; questions surrounding the propriety of this caused press attention.

Pattinson was knighted in 2000 and ordained in 2001, becoming the Reverend Sir Derek Pattinson.
Pattinson died in 2006 and The Times obituary stated that he was survived by Barnaby Miln.
The Church Times acknowledged Miln as the chief mourner at the Westminster Abbey burial.

Andrew Brown of the Independent reported that Miln had an affair with a man named David O'Reilly.
O'Reilly introduced Miln to drugs, and soon Miln was a heavy user.
O'Reilly died after an altercation with a drug dealer in London's Kings Cross while buying cocaine as a forty-fifth birthday present for Miln.
Miln believed it was murder, but the Crown Prosecution Service declined to bring a case.
Throughout his five years on General Synod, Miln worked with the Reverend Richard Kirker, an openly gay clergyman who had been refused priesthood by Dr Robert Runcie and who had, with others, set up the Gay Christian Movement, later the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement, and became its general secretary.
In 1986 Miln met Derek Pattinson, then secretary-general of the General Synod of the Church of England and chairman of the executive committee of SPCK, formerly the Society for the Promotion of Christian Knowledge. They lived together for some years in a Church-owned flat in Westminster. The then Bishop of London, David Hope, Baron Hope of Thornes, said he assumed "their domestic arrangements were satisfactory and wholesome". Pattinson travelled as part of his work, and took Miln with him on a trip to South Africa in 1990; questions surrounding the propriety of this caused press attention.
Pattinson was knighted in 2000 and ordained in 2001, becoming the Reverend Sir Derek Pattinson. Pattinson died in 2006 and The Times obituary stated that he was survived by Barnaby Miln. The Church Times acknowledged Miln as the chief mourner at the Westminster Abbey burial.
Andrew Brown of the Independent reported that Miln had an affair with a man named David O'Reilly. O'Reilly introduced Miln to drugs, and soon Miln was a heavy user. O'Reilly died after an altercation with a drug dealer in London's Kings Cross while buying cocaine as a forty-fifth birthday present for Miln. Miln believed it was murder, but the Crown Prosecution Service declined to bring a case.
Barnaby Miln