Troia married Alan Roberts McFarland (born 1942) on January 12, 1985, at the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C. He was a general partner in Lazard Frères and went on to become a well-known investment banker.

In 1985, K. T. McFarland became a stay-at-home mother.
The couple had three children together, along with two from his first marriage to whom she became stepmother.
During the next two decades, McFarland says she "taught Sunday school, served as a class mother, directed school plays, headed a preschool library, and sang in the church choir".
She and her husband joined a number of exclusive New York clubs and country clubs.
Her youngest daughter attended the United States Naval Academy.

McFarland had two brothers, Tom and Michael.
Michael died of an AIDS-related illness on June 8, 1995.
Prior to his death, McFarland outed her brother as gay to her parents, blaming his homosexuality on family abuse and cutting off contact with her parents.
In 2006, her surviving brother Tom Troia, in defense of their father, told the New York Post, "If I had one word to describe my sister, it would be 'evil'".
McFarland has since reconciled with her parents.

In 2000, McFarland started doing some work for the Foreign Policy Association, booking speakers for ladies' lunches.
She is a life member of the Council on Foreign Relations.
Troia married Alan Roberts McFarland (born 1942) on January 12, 1985, at the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C. He was a general partner in Lazard Frères and went on to become a well-known investment banker.
In 1985, K. T. McFarland became a stay-at-home mother. The couple had three children together, along with two from his first marriage to whom she became stepmother. During the next two decades, McFarland says she "taught Sunday school, served as a class mother, directed school plays, headed a preschool library, and sang in the church choir". She and her husband joined a number of exclusive New York clubs and country clubs. Her youngest daughter attended the United States Naval Academy.
McFarland had two brothers, Tom and Michael. Michael died of an AIDS-related illness on June 8, 1995. Prior to his death, McFarland outed her brother as gay to her parents, blaming his homosexuality on family abuse and cutting off contact with her parents. In 2006, her surviving brother Tom Troia, in defense of their father, told the New York Post, "If I had one word to describe my sister, it would be 'evil'". McFarland has since reconciled with her parents.
In 2000, McFarland started doing some work for the Foreign Policy Association, booking speakers for ladies' lunches. She is a life member of the Council on Foreign Relations.
K. T. McFarland