the negotiation skills company , inc . newsletter aug 2001 fighting fires without burning bridges ( sm )
the occasional newsletter of the negotiation skills
company , inc . ( tnsc )
now our website is even more accessible . if you have a
question about issues you can search the advice section
to find relevant answers . follow the link below to our
q the reverse is equally true . in
negotiation , this technique is called active listening .
the crucial element is listening closely to all the
elements of the responses to those questions , both the
questions one asks oneself and the questions asked of
other people . it is no less important to respond to
what people say by checking to make sure you ' ve
understood their points ; you may want to say , " this is
what i understood you to have said ; is my understanding
correct ? " you also want to indicate , " the fact that i
understand what you have said does not necessarily mean
i agree with you . "
clinging on to the visual indicators of independence is
a critical vital sign . the fear of loving relatives
that something bad can happen has to be balanced
against the knowledge that if you kick someone in their
self - esteem , you are attacking a most vulnerable part
of their anatomy . you cannot negotiate away a person ' s
self - esteem , but you can destroy it through frontal and
flanking attacks .
the frustration faced by folks who see loved ones
failing to take proper care of themselves is
phenomenal . very often the people who have advocated
professional care ultimately must mutter ( hopefully to
themselves ) the unsatisfying statement , " i told you
so . "
in your question you indicate that crisis forces
choice . perhaps the best approach is to prepare a
safety net that is ready when the crisis occurs . it
cannot prevent a crisis from happening ; and it is
crucial to make sure that a crisis is not worsened by
forcing the ' victim ' of it to lose face . but having
that safety net ready can at least reduce the force of
the fall .
relationship is one of the seven most significant
issues to consider in negotiation . focusing on the
relationship with an elderly parent or friend , not
letting decrepitude get in the way of love and caring
can make it much easier when someone ' s self - esteem is
attacked by a crisis . looking at oneself and saying ,
" it ' s not my fault , " is not a way of avoiding blame ,
but rather giving a loved one the freedom to make their
own mistakes - - just as they did the first time they
gave us the keys to the car .
tnsc news
the negotiation skills company ' s website ,
www . negotiationskills . com , is now getting more than 1 . 5
million ' hits ' a year - that means an average of more
than 5000 visits every day . there have been newspaper
and magazine articles about us across north america -
and we ' re now featured in translation in a web magazine
in poland .
last word
" don ' t look back . somebody may be gaining on you . "
baseball star satchel paige
take care ,
steve
* the negotiation skills company *
* " fighting fires without burning bridges " *
* phone : + 1 978 927 6775 fax : + 1 978 921 4447 *
* http : / / www . negotiationskills . com *
the negotiation skills company , inc . newsletter aug 2001
fighting fires without burning bridges ( sm )
the occasional newsletter of the negotiation skills
company , inc . ( tnsc )
now our website is even more accessible . if you have a
question about issues you can search the advice section
to find relevant answers . follow the link below to our
q the reverse is equally true . in
negotiation , this technique is called active listening .
the crucial element is listening closely to all the
elements of the responses to those questions , both the
questions one asks oneself and the questions asked of
other people . it is no less important to respond to
what people say by checking to make sure you ' ve
understood their points ; you may want to say , " this is
what i understood you to have said ; is my understanding
correct ? " you also want to indicate , " the fact that i
understand what you have said does not necessarily mean
i agree with you . "
clinging on to the visual indicators of independence is
a critical vital sign . the fear of loving relatives
that something bad can happen has to be balanced
against the knowledge that if you kick someone in their
self - esteem , you are attacking a most vulnerable part
of their anatomy . you cannot negotiate away a person ' s
self - esteem , but you can destroy it through frontal and
flanking attacks .
the frustration faced by folks who see loved ones
failing to take proper care of themselves is
phenomenal . very often the people who have advocated
professional care ultimately must mutter ( hopefully to
themselves ) the unsatisfying statement , " i told you
so . "
in your question you indicate that crisis forces
choice . perhaps the best approach is to prepare a
safety net that is ready when the crisis occurs . it
cannot prevent a crisis from happening ; and it is
crucial to make sure that a crisis is not worsened by
forcing the ' victim ' of it to lose face . but having
that safety net ready can at least reduce the force of
the fall .
relationship is one of the seven most significant
issues to consider in negotiation . focusing on the
relationship with an elderly parent or friend , not
letting decrepitude get in the way of love and caring
can make it much easier when someone ' s self - esteem is
attacked by a crisis . looking at oneself and saying ,
" it ' s not my fault , " is not a way of avoiding blame ,
but rather giving a loved one the freedom to make their
own mistakes - - just as they did the first time they
gave us the keys to the car .
tnsc news
the negotiation skills company ' s website ,
www . negotiationskills . com , is now getting more than 1 . 5
million ' hits ' a year - that means an average of more
than 5000 visits every day . there have been newspaper
and magazine articles about us across north america -
and we ' re now featured in translation in a web magazine
in poland .
last word
" don ' t look back . somebody may be gaining on you . "
baseball star satchel paige
take care ,
steve
* the negotiation skills company *
* " fighting fires without burning bridges " *
* phone : + 1 978 927 6775 fax : + 1 978 921 4447 *
* http : / / www . negotiationskills . com *