personal trainers like you have time to read this . . . it is really funny .
pt
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - forwarded by patti thompson / hou / ect on 01 / 10 / 2001
05 : 05 pm - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
sue foust
01 / 10 / 2001 03 : 43 pm
to : karen snow / hou / ect @ ect , michelle bruce / hou / ect @ ect , diane
ellstrom / hou / ect @ ect , linda k loukanis / hou / ect @ ect , marilyn m
schoppe / hou / ect @ ect , glenda d mitchell / hou / ect @ ect , joan winfrey / hou / ect @ ect ,
julie flahaven / na / enron @ enron , lisa walker / hou / ect @ ect , michelle
thomason / na / enron @ enron , patti thompson / hou / ect @ ect
cc :
subject : personal trainers
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - forwarded by sue foust / hou / ect on 01 / 10 / 2001 03 : 32 pm
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
sherri sorrels on 01 / 10 / 2001 12 : 38 : 20 pm
to : cyndi alvarado
cc : dee yocum , lisa murray , " diane
o ' brien " , sandie pierce , mary
reed , lisa rudy , jessica
sanders , shelby sanders ,
crystal schwartz , jan skoog
, terri smith , lori sorrels
, sue foust , gabor fuzesi
, cassie gordon , toni gordon
, delores harton , julie hunt
, joni krizay , lori
reyes , ginny lyman , joyce lynn
, terri maldonado , crystal
campsey , lydia cannon , jolie
carter , juanita carter , karen
ener
subject : fwd : fw : really cute
> > this is dedicated to every woman who ever attempted to get
> > > into a regular workout routine , ( or use one of those ab - doer
> machines
> > > dear diary ,
> > >
> > > for my fiftieth birthday this year , my husband ( the dear )
> purchased
> a
> > > week of personal training at the local health club for me .
> although i
> > > am still in great shape since playing on my high school softball
> team , i
> > > decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try .
> > > i called the club and made my reservations with a personal
> trainer
> > > i ' ll call bruce , who identified himself as a 26 - year - old aerobics
> > > instructor and model for clothing and swimwear . my husband seemed
> > > pleased
> > > with my enthusiasm to get started . the club encouraged me to keep a
> diary
> > > to chart my progress .
> > > monday :
> > > started my day at 6 : 00 am . tough to get out of bed , but found it
> was
> > > well
> > > worth it when i arrived at the health club to find bruce waiting for
> me .
> > > he is something of a greek god - with blond hair , dancing eyes and a
> > > dazzling white smile . woo hoo !
> > > bruce gave me a tour and showed me the machines . he took my
> pulse
> > > after five minutes on the treadmill . he was alarmed that my pulse
> was so
> > > fast , but i attribute it to standing next to him in his lycra
> aerobic
> > > outfit .
> > > i enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his
> > > aerobics class after my workout today . very inspiring . bruce was
> > > encouraging as i did my sit - ups , although my gut was already aching
> from
> > > holding it in the whole time he was around .
> > > this is going to be a fantastic week ! !
> > >
> > > tuesday :
> > > i drank a whole pot of coffee , but i finally made it out the
> door .
> > > bruce
> > > made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air - then
> he
> > > put
> > > weights on it ! my legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill , but i
> made
> > > the full mile . bruce ' s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile .
> > > i feel great ! it ' s a whole new life for me .
> > >
> > > wednesday :
> > > the only way i can brush my teeth is by laying on the
> toothbrush on
> > > the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it . i believe i
> have
> > > a
> > > hernia in both pectorals .
> > > driving was okay as long as i didn ' t ' try to steer or stop . i
> parked
> > > on top of a geo in the club parking lot . bruce was impatient with
> me ,
> > > insisting that my screams bothered other club members . his voice
> is a
> > > little too perky for early in the morning and when he scolds , he
> gets
> this
> > > nasally whine that is very annoying . my chest hurt when i got on
> the
> > > treadmill , so bruce put me on the stair monster .
> > > why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an
> activity
> > > rendered obsolete by elevators ? bruce told me it would help me get
> in
> > > shape and enjoy life . he said some other shit too .
> > >
> > > thursday :
> > > bruce was waiting for me with his vampire - like teeth exposed as
> his
> > > thin , cruel lips were pulled back into a full snarl . i couldn ' t
> help
> > > being
> > > a half an hour late , it took me that long to tie my shoes . bruce
> took me
> > > to work out with dumbbells .
> > > when he was not looking , i ran and hid in the men ' s room . he
> sent
> > > lars
> > > to find me , then , as punishment , put me on the rowing machine -
> which i
> > > sank .
> > >
> > > friday :
> > > i hate that bastard bruce more than any human being has ever
> hated
> > > any
> > > other human being in the history of the world . stupid , skinny ,
> anemic
> > > little cheerleader wanna - be bastard . if there were a part of my
> body i
> > > could move without unbearable pain , i would beat him with it .
> > > bruce wanted me to work on my triceps . i don ' t have any
> triceps !
> > > and if you don ' t want dents in the floor , don ' t hand me the & @ # $ * ~
> > > barbells
> > > or anything that weighs more than a sandwich . ( which i am sure you
> learned
> > > in the sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum laude
> from ,
> > > bruce , you nazi bastard ) .
> > > the treadmill flung me off and i landed on a health and
> nutrition
> > > teacher . why couldn ' t it have been someone softer , like the drama
> coach
> > > or the choir director ?
> > >
> > > saturday :
> > > bruce left a message on my answering machine in his grating ,
> > > shrilly voice wondering why i did not show up today . just hearing
> him
> > > made
> > > me want to smash the machine with my planner . however , i lacked
> the
> > > strength even to use the tv remote and ended up catching eleven
> straight
> > > hours of the * $ @ # & weather channel .
> > >
> > > sunday :
> > > i ' m having the church van pick me up for services today so i can
> go
> and
> > > thank god that this week is over . i will also pray that next year
> my
> > > husband ( the bastard ) will choose a gift for me that is fun - like a
> root
> > > canal or a hysterectomy .
> > >
> > >
> >
> > suzanne cox
> > tenor networks
> > 6200 s . syracuse way , suite 125
> > greenwood village , co 80111
> > 303 874 - 5153
> > 303 874 - 5154 ( fax )
> >
>
do you yahoo ! ?
yahoo ! photos - share your holiday photos online !
http : / / photos . yahoo . com /
personal trainers
like you have time to read this . . . it is really funny .
pt
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - forwarded by patti thompson / hou / ect on 01 / 10 / 2001
05 : 05 pm - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
sue foust
01 / 10 / 2001 03 : 43 pm
to : karen snow / hou / ect @ ect , michelle bruce / hou / ect @ ect , diane
ellstrom / hou / ect @ ect , linda k loukanis / hou / ect @ ect , marilyn m
schoppe / hou / ect @ ect , glenda d mitchell / hou / ect @ ect , joan winfrey / hou / ect @ ect ,
julie flahaven / na / enron @ enron , lisa walker / hou / ect @ ect , michelle
thomason / na / enron @ enron , patti thompson / hou / ect @ ect
cc :
subject : personal trainers
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - forwarded by sue foust / hou / ect on 01 / 10 / 2001 03 : 32 pm
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
sherri sorrels on 01 / 10 / 2001 12 : 38 : 20 pm
to : cyndi alvarado
cc : dee yocum , lisa murray , " diane
o ' brien " , sandie pierce , mary
reed , lisa rudy , jessica
sanders , shelby sanders ,
crystal schwartz , jan skoog
, terri smith , lori sorrels
, sue foust , gabor fuzesi
, cassie gordon , toni gordon
, delores harton , julie hunt
, joni krizay , lori
reyes , ginny lyman , joyce lynn
, terri maldonado , crystal
campsey , lydia cannon , jolie
carter , juanita carter , karen
ener
subject : fwd : fw : really cute
> > this is dedicated to every woman who ever attempted to get
> > > into a regular workout routine , ( or use one of those ab - doer
> machines
> > > dear diary ,
> > >
> > > for my fiftieth birthday this year , my husband ( the dear )
> purchased
> a
> > > week of personal training at the local health club for me .
> although i
> > > am still in great shape since playing on my high school softball
> team , i
> > > decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try .
> > > i called the club and made my reservations with a personal
> trainer
> > > i ' ll call bruce , who identified himself as a 26 - year - old aerobics
> > > instructor and model for clothing and swimwear . my husband seemed
> > > pleased
> > > with my enthusiasm to get started . the club encouraged me to keep a
> diary
> > > to chart my progress .
> > > monday :
> > > started my day at 6 : 00 am . tough to get out of bed , but found it
> was
> > > well
> > > worth it when i arrived at the health club to find bruce waiting for
> me .
> > > he is something of a greek god - with blond hair , dancing eyes and a
> > > dazzling white smile . woo hoo !
> > > bruce gave me a tour and showed me the machines . he took my
> pulse
> > > after five minutes on the treadmill . he was alarmed that my pulse
> was so
> > > fast , but i attribute it to standing next to him in his lycra
> aerobic
> > > outfit .
> > > i enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his
> > > aerobics class after my workout today . very inspiring . bruce was
> > > encouraging as i did my sit - ups , although my gut was already aching
> from
> > > holding it in the whole time he was around .
> > > this is going to be a fantastic week ! !
> > >
> > > tuesday :
> > > i drank a whole pot of coffee , but i finally made it out the
> door .
> > > bruce
> > > made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air - then
> he
> > > put
> > > weights on it ! my legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill , but i
> made
> > > the full mile . bruce ' s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile .
> > > i feel great ! it ' s a whole new life for me .
> > >
> > > wednesday :
> > > the only way i can brush my teeth is by laying on the
> toothbrush on
> > > the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it . i believe i
> have
> > > a
> > > hernia in both pectorals .
> > > driving was okay as long as i didn ' t ' try to steer or stop . i
> parked
> > > on top of a geo in the club parking lot . bruce was impatient with
> me ,
> > > insisting that my screams bothered other club members . his voice
> is a
> > > little too perky for early in the morning and when he scolds , he
> gets
> this
> > > nasally whine that is very annoying . my chest hurt when i got on
> the
> > > treadmill , so bruce put me on the stair monster .
> > > why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an
> activity
> > > rendered obsolete by elevators ? bruce told me it would help me get
> in
> > > shape and enjoy life . he said some other shit too .
> > >
> > > thursday :
> > > bruce was waiting for me with his vampire - like teeth exposed as
> his
> > > thin , cruel lips were pulled back into a full snarl . i couldn ' t
> help
> > > being
> > > a half an hour late , it took me that long to tie my shoes . bruce
> took me
> > > to work out with dumbbells .
> > > when he was not looking , i ran and hid in the men ' s room . he
> sent
> > > lars
> > > to find me , then , as punishment , put me on the rowing machine -
> which i
> > > sank .
> > >
> > > friday :
> > > i hate that bastard bruce more than any human being has ever
> hated
> > > any
> > > other human being in the history of the world . stupid , skinny ,
> anemic
> > > little cheerleader wanna - be bastard . if there were a part of my
> body i
> > > could move without unbearable pain , i would beat him with it .
> > > bruce wanted me to work on my triceps . i don ' t have any
> triceps !
> > > and if you don ' t want dents in the floor , don ' t hand me the & @ # $ * ~
> > > barbells
> > > or anything that weighs more than a sandwich . ( which i am sure you
> learned
> > > in the sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum laude
> from ,
> > > bruce , you nazi bastard ) .
> > > the treadmill flung me off and i landed on a health and
> nutrition
> > > teacher . why couldn ' t it have been someone softer , like the drama
> coach
> > > or the choir director ?
> > >
> > > saturday :
> > > bruce left a message on my answering machine in his grating ,
> > > shrilly voice wondering why i did not show up today . just hearing
> him
> > > made
> > > me want to smash the machine with my planner . however , i lacked
> the
> > > strength even to use the tv remote and ended up catching eleven
> straight
> > > hours of the * $ @ # & weather channel .
> > >
> > > sunday :
> > > i ' m having the church van pick me up for services today so i can
> go
> and
> > > thank god that this week is over . i will also pray that next year
> my
> > > husband ( the bastard ) will choose a gift for me that is fun - like a
> root
> > > canal or a hysterectomy .
> > >
> > >
> >
> > suzanne cox
> > tenor networks
> > 6200 s . syracuse way , suite 125
> > greenwood village , co 80111
> > 303 874 - 5153
> > 303 874 - 5154 ( fax )
> >
>
do you yahoo ! ?
yahoo ! photos - share your holiday photos online !
http : / / photos . yahoo . com /