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<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I am so confused and hurt right now. My boyfriend and I just got in the nastiest fight which elevated to him saying terrible things about my character (many curse words and degrading comments, he called me an a\*\*\*\*\*, sociopath, narcissist, psychopath, and abuser).
My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 yr. He recently had to quit law school due to worsening health problems. I have chronic health issues too, and we are both partially disabled. Since then, he's taken up an extremely bad habit of gaming 7-12 hours a day and is in a terrible deep depression. He's been doing this for *\*months\**. I love him, he's nice to me most of the time, but this drives me crazy. Most often, we are sweet and kind to each other, having a nice time, but once a month (or so), he burts angry explosive insults at me that leave me emotionally *destroyed* and thinking terrible things about myself/my character for *days.*
Most recent fight: I don't have a lot of money but I bought an expensive ($1800) computer to edit videos (which I'm not doing much anymore). I let him use it 95% of the time (since his old computer broke) for the past 6 months. Occasionally, I want to use it to watch movies or TV shows because my old computer sucks and has no memory. I only use the new comp a few hours per week; every other waking hour of the day, every day, he's on it.
I used my new comp to watch a TV show to decompress after working on a research proposal when he was asleep. Within 5 minutes of him waking up, he asked for my computer so he could play games. I was on the season finale and wanted to finish. He wanted me to quit midway & give it to him. He said it was "unfair" of me to give it to him since I'd used it for several hours (when he was sleeping). I said that it was ridiculous that he was tallying time I used MY computer when HE was ASLEEP.
I suggested he do something else for 30 minutes while I finish the season finale, and offered to let him use my old computer to do whatever. He said my old computer is a "piece of c\*\*\*" and it can't do "what he *needs* to do" (play games). I pointed out that he didn't *need* to play. He said my use of the word "need" (that he didn't *NEED* to play games) was manipulative +disgusting because I took this statement "out of context" and was trying to "insult" him. He said that I was a "liar" for "twisting his words around" - that saying you don't *need* to play video games is "judgemental and manipulative".
I said it's unfair that I never get to use the computer that *I* paid for with *my* money.
This is when he **COMPLETELY** lost it. Suddenly, because I brought "money" into the equation (only in the context of my computer, nothing else), he started yelling and screaming at me, hurling every insult he could think of: a "financial abuser", wielding "power, money, and status" to manipulate &control him, being a "slithering slimy snake". He said it was DISGUSTING of me to mention money, and I was using resources and privilege to abuse him in a "sociopathic"/evil way. I was called a c\*\*\*, judgemental w\*\*\*\*, and that my actions come "straight out of the book of psychopathy". He said that I had intentionally hurt/insult him (I truly didn't intend to, I was stating what I thought was objective fact), and because of that, he admitted that he "WANTED to HURT me with words and insults". He said that unless I can "admit" to being a "disgusting manipulative a\*\*\*\*\*\*", then we are "OVER". If I didn't admit to it, then I was a "liar". So in other words, my only choices were to be a "liar" or an "a\*\*\*\*\*\*". Pinned into a corner, forced to admit to something I don't think I did. When I told him to stop fighting, that I cool down and stop verbally attacking me, he said "this isn't over". I told him I had a headache and went into the other room and he followed me, yelling at me, getting in my space.
I am now feeling extremely upset and wondering if I'm the "bad guy". He spent HOURS trying to convince me that I'm a psychological abuser, narcissist, liar, sociopath, and that I have MAJOR character problems/toxicity.. I'm starting to wonder if that's true. I've gone as far as watching youtube videos on psychopathy/sociopathy/financial abuse, trying to figure out if somehow he's right and I have been incredibly abusive somehow but completely unaware of my actions. I even offered to go to therapy to work on becoming "more aware" of my "toxicity" since I apparently am not understanding it. Right now, I'm 50% convinced that I'm a covert narcissist without ever knowing it. This is devastating to me. Because he attacks me like this so often, I've started recording our conversations and have been listening to them again trying to understand where I went wrong or how I lied. It's utterly confusing because in the recordings, I don't see what I did wrong, all I hear is him attacking me.
The next day, he apologized and said he didn't mean what he said (even though during the argument he said he meant it). But, he DOES still think I was a jerk for bringing up money. I told him that I am now extremely concerned about "being a narcissist", and to that, he responded that I have a "weak sense of identity", am "overly sensitive", and should stop bringing up water under the bridge. As far as he's concerned, that was "normal", he acts like nothing happened, and I AM the "pathological one" for not "letting go of the fight".
TL;DR: I am very concerned that I'm a covert narcissist without realizing it or that I'm toxic, as my boyfriend says many times during our fights. I don't understand how my behavior or comments are "toxic" but if I say one thing wrong that triggers him, he flips this anger switch and starts attacking me and assaulting my character, calling me a narcissist/sociopath/all sorts of terrible curse words. I'm confused beyond words and concerned that I've been a narcissist without realizing it. My head is spinning. Please help me understand what's going on.[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>***updating to let you all know that I’ve made the decision to file for divorce. I truly believe it is the right thing and I just pray for strength during this terrible time.
What if the physical abuse only happened a handful of times throughout our 10 year marriage (spaced years apart), what if there were never any serious injuries (i know there could have been), what if the rest of the time they were generally kind and supportive (they def have a temper but not aimed toward me usually), what if they are repentant and sober now...it’s been a couple months of us being apart, I know it must be longer but am I crazy for considering trying again in the future? There were a lot of other issues but none that would have caused me to really walk away now the easiest thing honestly seems to walk away for good and the truth is I know I don’t NEED them, in many ways I don’t even WANT them (can’t imagine being affectionate with them)...BUT the pull of my kiddos wanting them back, the kindness and sadness radiating from them every time we interact for kids, their declarations of love, the certainty that surely they wouldn’t let this happen ever again, the lure of not having to do it on my own it all feels like the right answer isn’t to walk away for good after all.
Has anyone ever successfully reconciled (no repeat abuse) and if so how long was separation, how much therapy, were you able to truly forgive and not hold it against them?[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I need to go to another court date.
His lawyer pushed the date.
He’s not guilty.
Why is he pleading not guilty?
This makes me angry and upset!
And the court does not want to push the charges.
I dont wanna see him, I dont wanna go 😞
I want this to be over and done with, I wanna move on in my life.[/INST]Legal</s> | 2 | Legal |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My boyfriend (30m) and I (26f) have had a shaky relationship but it hasn't really gotten violent until last night. He's mildly crossed the line in the past in the bedroom but I would eventually shrug it off. Last night, he got upset because I asked his friend what kind of cheese he wanted on his dinner but didn't ask my boyfriend if he wanted any (I already put it on his because I know what he likes). When I tried to explain my logic, he mocked me and overpowered me in the conversation. I got upset and raised my voice. My boyfriend said he wanted me out and dumped some sentimental belongings I had in a box on the ground. I told him he wouldn't like it if I did that with his computer. He came over and hugged me but then grabbed my phone out of my pocket and ran away. I was trying to pull it out of his hands but he kept saying "This is my phone. I pay for it!" I went in his computer room in rage but with no intentions of doing anything I'd later regret. Thats when he put both hands around my neck and picked me up (he's 6'5, 275lbs, I'm 5'3, 115lbs). Then he tossed me on the ground. He kept applying pressure to my neck, I had to get him to stop so croaked out "I love you". He instantly released and I started to have a panic attack. He comforted me and told me to calm down. My ear was ringing and I couldn't breathe. I went in the bathroom and he said that I needed to give him sex to calm down. My back was hurting from him slamming me into the ground. He blocked me in- I had no phone and nowhere to go. I said that's assault and told him to move out of the doorway. He didn't, he stood his ground and said he needed sex. We live in an apartment so I loudly said "You're forcing me to have sex! Thats sexual assa-" he put his hand over my mouth and nose, popping my nose. He released his hand and ask "whats it going to be?" I went to give him a bj but was in pain and he was mad that I didn't give all in. I tasted an awful taste and spit in the sink. It was yellow... I believe he peed in my mouth.... he then said he didn't and that was his precum. I let him fuck me after that because I felt like I had no other option to get him to comply. He kept saying that he's going to get me off the pill so I can have a baby with him. He pounded me as hard as he could then after he finished told me I had to give him my pin for my phone, otherwise he'd factory reset it by putting in too many false pins. Eventually, I gave it to him but changed it today. I was afraid that he was going to try to kill me in my sleep but emotionally and physically exhausted, so I kept drifting in and out of sleep. He makes a lot of money and says he's going to ruin my life if I ever leave him. He also claims to know a gang and has threatened to have them kill me and my family. Today, he is being nice and I haven't left the bed. He got me to put all of my money in a joint checking account and empties it into his savings, whenever I show signs of leaving. I no longer have a car because he manipulated me into signing it over to his name so he could let his sister use it. I did this in the beginning of the relationship, when things were good. I'm not sure what to do or how to get out. The only thing he has allowed me to have is my phone because he hasn't seen me doing anything bad on it. I also think that he thinks that I am so in love with him that I would never reach out for help. It's difficult to get away... especially, now during the pandemic, since he never leaves the house without me. I've never called a shelter and don't know what to expect from DV organizations.
Edit: fix grammar and add details[/INST]Shelters/ DV center/ Agency</s> | 1 | Shelters/ DV center/ Agency |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>So my partner of almost 5 yrs got arrested last week for domestic violence towards me and my sister and a few other charges. To make the long story short, I've been with him since high school and have noticed signs of mental illnesses and whatnot. I've narrowed it down to narcissistic, borderline personality disorder, and possibly bipolar disorder. His dad has anger management issues, his mom is diagnosed with bipolar and he has always had anger issues as well. He was often mad and would yell at me for the littlest of things such as if we are playing a game together and I accidentally died (I suck at games but we play together because I know he likes it) he would yell and I call me names, insults me and whatnot. when we moved in together in college, he got physical. he would punch me and hit me and thrown me around like a rag doll. I remember him grabbing my head and slamming it into the fridge in our apartment and the first time he punched me till I bleed in my nose. I wanted to leave at the time but I was scared. Then he stopped, told me he'd never hit me again because he found God. Now, I am religious, not in the best way but I believe in God. So when he told me he found God and decided to be better, I thought maybe this will be our turning point. he was the best for a few weeks, then we started fighting again. he would yell and scream and call me by names and insults. I never said anything because to him it's defiant towards him because he is the man of the household. he eventually quits his job and I was left to support us and my 3 huskies. we moved to a different place because his best friend was supposed to be living with us but they fell off before our move-in date so he never signed the lease. then he would often bring up the idea of a 3 person relationship. this has always been a subject throughout our relationship. it has never been an official thing. he hooked up with my roommate his first year of college, then told me he wasn't gonna do it again. it was completely official when my sister got involved. I told him that it was okay because in my mind it's the least I can do for him because he has done so much for me.
that's when his discipline method got worst. before my sister, he wasn't hitting me anymore but it was more of him choking me out till I submit to him and he'll sit on me till I gave in. but when my sister started to live with us he started to do more. he'll tell her that I'm being possessed by an evil spirit and would tell her to go and choke me and he would join and they would choke me out till I peed my pants or till I was out completely, then he would stand on my chest and jump. he would tell me to go choke her if she ever defies him. If I don't do it he would do that to me only worst. he was always favoring her and give her the lighter discipline and make it a horrific experience for me. Another disciplinary action would be he would put our hands in hot water, and or dunk our heads in cold water till we can't breathe anymore. towards the end, I was mortified every time he would raise his voice or if he even said that I'm defying him. my sister finally broke one night after he told her to leave the house she left and called my mom. from there they got the cops involved and he was arrested later that afternoon. I had wished that I would have a breaking point as my sister does. but I wanted him to get better, I want him to feel better to cope better with his problems. I love him
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know how to feel right now because I know what he did was wrong and that it should never have happened. but towards the end he was such a gentleman towards me, he was sweet, I got to see what he was like back in high school again and I really miss him. I really think that our relationship is going to get better. but I also know that if he ever comes back what he did to me will come back and it's never gonna change. I don't know what to do now because his mom keeps texting me updating the status of his case and what she wants to do. she keeps asking me questions about him that make me worry about him and it makes me want to bail him out because I have the money to. but I also know that I'm going to put myself and my sister in danger if he gets out. I don't know what to do or what to think because I miss him and I miss being with him. my dogs remind me of him, my place reminds me of him everything I come home to reminds me of him and I'm just a sad mess. my mom has been really supportive but I don't know if I'll ever come out of this mess. he has made me feel worthless, he made me feel like I'm nothing but a piece of shit good for nothing.
I'm sorry for the long post. I don't normally put my life on the internet like this but I'm stuck and lost and I don't know where else to turn. I don't expect anyone to have read this far but if you have, thank you for reading about me complaining about my life I appreciate it, I just want to be at peace...
Edit: he had previously mentioned to me that he wanted me dead. That he wanted to kill me. Then go back when he's happy and say those are things he said while he's angry[/INST]Legal</s> | 2 | Legal |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My boyfriend choked me twice while I was driving Saturday night. I told him that I needed gas, drove to the nearest gas station, and asked them to call 911. Because we lived together, the police said that they had to arrest him, which is fine. But I'm still so heartbroken. I can't help but think about how scared he probably is. I know that he's an adult and must deal with the consequences of his actions, but my love for him is still there and therefore I don't want him to suffer.
I'm not going back. I can't risk my life. But it's still so hard. I miss him. Just a few days ago we were kissing and hugging and saying I love you. Now he's in jail, and I'm heartbroken and alone. I feel like I'm being ripped into pieces. My heart aches tremendously.
I can hardly sleep. I can hardly eat; the thought of food makes me nauseous. I don't have the energy or motivation to take a shower. I cry about literally everything (seriously, I dropped my apple and cried for 5-10 minutes). I'm in law school, and I can't focus enough to do my school work. I can't handle this.
If anyone has any words of encouragement or advice, I would greatly appreciate it.[/INST]Police</s> | 4 | Police |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Hi all I've never done this before. I'm really looking for some advice. I have been with my partner for nearly 8 years. I'm 27 he's 36. I was very younge when I met him and he was amazing and I quickly fell in love with him and him me. About a year into the relationship we had a argument (can't remember what about) he was trying to get me out of his flat but I refused as I wanted to sort things out. He then pinned me up against the wall and strangled me. After he calmed down he was very sorry and I accepted the apology and he said he would never do that again. 7 years later I can sadly say that simular situations during arguments have happened at least another 6 times over the years most recently in the Autumn so a few months back now. Hes strangled me almost every time, pinned me up against the wall and has slapped me plus all of the awful names I am called ( bitch, hoe, retard) I never fight back or swear I just about raise my voice. I've always known that this is bad and not normal however I think over the years I have become very good at ignoring and blanking out the truth. Since turning 26/27 I've been doing alot of research on domestic violence and have accepted that I am a victim. I wouldn't say that I am your typical victim as most of the time our relationship is amazing and full of fun. However there has been times (roughly once or twice a year) when he's particularly stressed and when an argument breaks out he has become violent. As of recent I've addressed these issues with him and told him that what's he's been doing isn't normal and that I am not to blame for his out bursts. I've told him if it happens one more time then we are done for good. He's extreamly sorry and realises that he's been a monster to me at times. Does anyone here been in a similar situation as me? And can things actually change or am I just wasting my time? Thank you all xx[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I did everything right. I reported my abuser almost every time he hurt me. Everyone always asks why victims don’t report their abuser. This is why.
My husband is now facing prison time with 2 felonies and a misdemeanor. I should be happy right? I’m free of him? What people don’t see is that now I am alone to take care of a newborn baby. I can’t do this alone. I lock myself in the bathroom every night while he cries himself to sleep. And what about the financial aspect? I can’t support myself and my child. I have resorted to selling pics and videos and basically prostituting myself out to have money for rent. I feel so alone. My friends and family are gone, my abuser pushed them away long ago. It’s just me and my baby. There’s so much more than just reporting someone and thinking your problems will just go away. Please if anyone has any advice or maybe has been here before. I’m hurting. Contemplating adoption. I just want to disappear.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I don’t know if this is also abuse, but Reddit recommended to post this here instead of another sub I posted this in.
TL;DR how could someone escape from a very controlling relationship?
I (F25) am in a relationship with my bf (M28) for nearly 8 years right now. A lot of stuff has happened between us. Very beautiful and good things but also horrible and terrifying things.
My bf is very controlling and basically decides how I live my life. I have no friends anymore and no contact with my family.
He tracks everything I do and controls who I talk to and who I meet up with. Which is almost no one nowadays because of his behavior in the past.
I really really love him, he is honestly the best person I know when he is in a good or okayish mood. But when his mood gets bad, it gets really bad...
I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t want to lose him but I also don’t want to live like this anymore. I feel trapped and there is no one I can talk to about this.
(In the past I’ve tried to break up with him and been in a women’s shelter for a few months. I felt really safe there but my bf found me through his connections and started threatening me and my 2 supervisors from that place. I had to go back to him. The controlling behavior only got worse after that and is still happening to this day.
I don’t trust police either, because in the past I had really bad experience with them. They tried to break up my relationship, pressured me to choose between my bf and my family and own life, said they would be there for me but just used me to catch my bf... that’s not a way for me anymore. I really gave it a chance)[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>If anybody has experienced narcissist abuse/ rage in marriage how did you how hold your self together TIL you were able to break free? IM broken down inside the things that have happened are unspeakable ..we own a business together too..im in therapy Any body been in my place? To help clarifly my situation I have a disability as well.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>So I’m 36 weeks pregnant. The father of my baby and I do not get a long because I won’t have sex with him. He told me he should have forced sex with me the last time I was with him and I made him stop. Every time I don’t have sex with him he becomes verbally abusive. And I can’t even see him without him touching me after I said no.
It’s getting to the point where I don’t even wanna share custody of my unborn daughter with him. Because he makes me feel intimidated and uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do.[/INST]Childbearing</s> | 3 | Childbearing |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I don't know what to do anymore. The abuse is getting so bad. I have a medical condition to the point that I can't work anymore and I got denied disability. I have no money and no where to go. Shelters apparently can't accommodate my medical needs. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so alone.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Last night things finally came to a head. My husband, when he wants to argue will take away my cell phone or any lines of communication I have (he will go so far as to disconnect our landline). He also likes to call my friends and tell them I’m “acting crazy”. Last night he physically abused me again...he does what he knows is the worst for me. He holds me down and hurts me and won’t let me free. He decided to FaceTime one of my friends and proceeded to tell her that I had “went crazy and attacked him”... I did scratch him to try to get him off of me so he showed her that. I was sitting on the floor crying in my underwear and he faced the camera towards me so she could see....as soon as I started to say that he was lying, and that I had bruises, he quickly hung up the phone. But my friend knew I was in trouble and she called the police as soon as she got off the phone. He did not stop hurting me until the police showed up, and when they did come he told me to tell them to leave and that I had self inflicted wounds 😞 I really had no idea how they knew to come to my house....because I had tried to dial 911 on my cell phone and house phone but he ripped the phones away. I had thought that maybe the call did go through but I found out later that it was my friend who called. Thank god for her ♥️ this is not the first time this has happened but he always told me every incident would be the last. I just couldn’t believe he would do it again and again. I have a beautiful 6 month old daughter who was asleep on her crib in the next room during all of this 💔 💔 I’m so grateful that the police believed me and helped me to file a temporary restraining order. I feel lost today....it’s Valentine’s Day and I am at home with my daughter. I’m in so much pain mentally and physically but I’m also heartbroken and miss him....I know this is for the best because he cannot be abusing me but why does it hurt so bad when they are finally away? I hope everyone’s day is better and thanks for letting me vent to you all 💜[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Hey so I was with a guy for 3 years and he broke me down so bad that I lost myself before I got with him I had one child and life was amazing then we had a child together and I saw red flags and ignored the because it was only a few fast forward to me moving to his state and having his daughter that’s when the abuse started I shook it off and believed he wasn’t gonna hit me again and I was kid right it led to him choking me out every time I didn’t submit or do what he wanted me to do, I was forced to have sex when I didn’t want to or I was accused of cheating and that was another fight now here I am homeless and 4 months pregnant with twins that’s now kids 3 and 4 and I have 2 kids already and to be honest I’m far from excited about having them I know it may change when I have them but rn I despise being pregnant by this man he’s living his life and doing everything that he wants to do and I’m pregnant and can’t work till I give birth And then the struggle and stress of being a single mom of 4 , I sometimes wonder if I should have got a abortion like he was trying to force me into 💔 is it ok to not feel excited about being pregnant with twins by a man who like to use me as his punching bag
Signed AM I THE ASSHOLE MOM FOR NOT BEING EXTREMELY EXCITED ABOUT HAVING TWINS[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Update: the court found no evidence of abuse and he has gained 50/50 custody. All he has to do is take a abuse class. Ugh. She is so defeated
Hello, I am hoping you can help me. My friend has left her abusive husband and we filed a restraining order for her last week. The trial is this week and I am worried we don’t have enough evidence. Right now we only have dates and times of abusive events. We don’t have any pictures (her phone was smashed and she hadn’t backed up pictures). We do have one threat on text that is pretty intense but that’s it. Is that going to be enough? She is scared and I am scared for her. I am worried they won’t grant it for her and her children and he will become enraged. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much.[/INST]Legal</s> | 2 | Legal |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I don't know for sure if it was abuse or it was just a bad situation. Also, English is not my native language but i will try my hardest.
I met him (28m) in 2019 trough a dating app. We straight away clicked and after a month of casual dating he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was so thrilled. I am a very small girl with no piercings or tattoo's at all and he was fully tattood and had big ear plugs and other piercings. Everything i wanted, the first half year everything was super and perfect and he was so sweet and gentle and funny. Sex was perfect, so electric that tesla wouldve been jalous. Then all of a sudden, some days he would be very grumpy and if i said a little too much, i got called out making fun of me, being ashamed, i always apoligized after those things because ofcourse, how could it not be that he is right? The sex was getting shorter and fewer, not so electric anymore, more like he just had to do this. So then after 1,5 year i was very carefull around him. Didnt say too much, just enough to not be anoying again. Everytime i went to my own place wich i share with 11 roommates (4f+8m) he would always call me to make sure i was alone in my room, to keep me safe from the male roommates because he saw their looks in their eyes. Now i think he wanted me completly for himself, even when i am not with him, but i am still not sure. When my family called, he always sighed deep and pointed at the door, meaning: ' could you take this call outside?' so after a few months i stopped calling them and just texting them.
But now i was texting a lot wich was a bit suspicious for him.
It started with, when i was at home, i always called him to say goodnight before bed and when he heard a roommate walking in the hallway he would ask: are you alone? Who's with you? I don't believe you, fucking bitch and hung up. I always called back and promised him i would never ever cheat. After a few more weeks it would turn into: who did you fuck this week? If i ever find out you are cheating, you will dissapear from this world and no one would ever know where you are. On to yesterday,
I was more quit then usual because i really was thinking of how to end things with him because of all the namecalling was really feeling heavy on my shoulders and was really a ticking stressbomb because i was walking around eggshells with him. He asked me what was wrong and i dont know why i said it but i said: i'm done. I dont want this anymore. I dont love you anymore and i want you to be happy with someone who really can love you. Well, that was the worst thing to say, he freaked out, shouted in front of my face super close what a fucking whore i was and i probably already fucked everyone on my workplace now ( side note: i am a 1,58m small girl, and work in a metal factory, wich is very unusual as metal is a real mens job) and he threw me around his room and i quickly grabbed my most important stuff and my phone. He was getting so close that i said i'd call the police id he didn't let me leave.
So i took my stuff, took my bike and rode very fast to home.
He sent me such heartbreaking texts after i left. How sorry he was and he never meant to hurt me, and he loves me so so much, i am his future wife. I wanted to run back as fast as i can and hold him and kiss him so badly but i know i can never go back to that,ever. When i was home, I called my parents, told them everything and they grabbed my still remaining stuff from him today. I blocked him everywhere and also his only best friend.
But those texts he sent me when i just got home, they keep me doubting if he really loves me or if was just abused.
So please help me because i am really confused.[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My sister's husband has been abusing her the first time it happened she did call the police on him he went to jail only over night and was let right back out. The thing is they live together and she has no where to go. We are not in the same state at the moment so I can not just pick her up and bring her to me. What other things can she do besides getting a restraining order. I have sent her national DV numbers she said they give her tips on what to do and bottom line is call police. She tried calling a few shelters but they tell her to call back the next day. And it happened again today. What are some numbers help lines or tips I can give her????[/INST]Shelters/ DV center/ Agency</s> | 1 | Shelters/ DV center/ Agency |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Get ya a snack cause this is gonna be a LONG story.
I started dating this guy for a few months back in the Spring. We fell in love quickly and he moved in with me. We both have our own past relationship traumas, toxic behaviors, insecurities, trust issues, etc. I'm very closed off due to these reasons therefore it has taken me longer to open up than it has him.. which resulted in a lot of overthinking on his part. From the start, the phones have been an issue. I will admit I started the first fight over him acting sketchy over his phone. First things first, he completely swiped his phone before he came over. I mean, everything. He explained his reasoning as he was being respectful to me by not having any past messages for me to get upset over. Ok, understood. However, he kept changing his PIN to his phone. He told it to me one day so that I could use his cause mine was dead. A few days later, the PIN was changed. Is that not shady in your eyes? Maybe I just let my mind wander and be triggered due to being cheated on by an ex. So, I let that go. Next, we had had a few drinks one night and apparently I had too many. I hadn't drank in a long time and I definitely overdone it. He says I flipped out and was very angry, accusing him of cheating and said a lot of hurtful things to him. I don't remember this at all but I apologized profusely and tried to make it up to him for several days afterward. Fast forward a few weeks later, he's been drinking... and it is his turn to explode. He calls me every name in the book. I just took it as I knew I did deserve it. Fast forward another week, he takes it a step farther and will not allow me to have any alone time whatsoever. I can't even go to the bathroom in peace. I was laying in bed, crying.. And he jerked the blanket away and flipped the lights on and demanded I get up. I didn't. So he proceeded to take all of my clothes off the rack and throw them on top of me. I begged him to stop and leave me alone. He would go away for a minute then come right back. I made the mistake of messaging my brother, just to vent, get some advice... As he does the same to me. However, he was very upset and came over and made my boyfriend leave via police. We broke up for about a month. We still talked every day. He begged me every single day to take him back. I eventually gave in. He didn't technically move back in but he stayed with me majority of the time. He had been back a couple months now and everything was fine... Until his birthday rolled around and he wanted to drink. I was skeptical at first as he had really made some great progress since he had decided to quit... But wanted him to enjoy his day. His birthday turned into a week long binge that was pure torture. It was like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moment. I swear several times I seen the devil in his eyes. He practically held me hostage in my own apt for 3 days. I wasn't allowed to go outside or visit my dad who lives right next door. He would scream crazy outbursts like I was beating him, would throw himself up against the door so neighbors would hear. He grabbed knives and put them in my hands saying I just want your finger prints all over these incase something happens to me. He slapped himself over and over in the face saying I was doing it, to call the law. He even took my hands once and punched himself in the face. He had scratches on his face from my nails trying to just get away from him. I begged for him to stop. He would take a drink of beer and spew it in my face. He would call me various names, say I was mocking him for being abused as a child.. When that is something I NEVER would have done. He broke my couch by sitting down too hard, then got up and done it again so it would break down completely. He wouldn't allow me to have access to my phone, said he didn't trust me. I needed to use the bathroom and was gonna take it in there with me to watch Tik Tok videos. He wouldn't let me so I gently tossed it on the bed, it landed on the pillow. I came out and my phone was gone. I searched the bedroom up and down. He said he didn't know where it was. I eventually found it hidden behind the cushions on the couch next to where he sits. The screen protector was off. It was wet, inside the case was wet and the screen was black. It looked like he had punched it and put it under faucet. He still to this day denies touching it. Hw busted TWO of his phones. First he busted after he did mine, he slammed it on ground and asked if I was happy now. Hw got a cheap phone the next day.. The nexr day after he had been drinking he busted it too, for no reason.. Just tossed it up in air and busted it. He would scream that I was talking badly about his mom, that i threatened to kill her and she was in diapers and used a walker. I never did any of that. I literally sat and tried to focus on playing cards with him, as that is what he always wanted to do. I had to sit and play Rummy and UNO with him for 8 hours, while he drank and done and said crazy things. He would flip me off right in my face, finger to my nose. He would throw his hands out like he was going to hit me in the face, then get mad when I flinched. There is just so much... I'm probably forgetting things. When he would wake up, it was like nothing ever happened. He would try to hug up and love on me and talk to me sweetly. Then he would drink, and it was like a monster was awoken. He blamed me for it all... That I started this and that he couldn't trust me is reason he acted this way. I had to literally escape from my own apt to get away from him and my Dad called the police to escort him out. I filed an EPO... That has still not been served. We work at the same hospital. He still talks to me every day, wants to take breaks, wants to come over. Says he will never drink again. I love him but I am so scared. What if next time is worse? What if he truly hurts me? What do I do? I know my mind is saying run far away but my heart loves him for who he is when he's not drinking. How can I believe him? I just really need some advice. Thanks for listening!!![/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Hi! Has anybody else experienced losing common friends being the victim of DV? It‘s kinda weird to me, everytime I open up about how I feel people start going against me and want nothing to do with me anymore. On the other hand, they still hang out with my abuser and are friends like nothing happened.
Is this normal??[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My ex is currently in AA and has been sober since I left the marriage in the beginning of 2019.
Our marriage was very difficult and when he was using, he could become verbally and emotionally abusive. Sometimes it became physical.
Issue is our child thinks the world of him, like he can do no wrong. She loves him very much. It’s very important to her that we get along.
All of 2019, I hated him. All the resentment and anger I was holding in the past 11 years was finally able to surface.
When our divorce finalized in 2020, I started to soften towards him. Becoming more friendly, no longer tensing up when he was around.
Someone in another thread pointed out that abuse survivors may want to explore forgiving their abusers. ‘Forgive those that don’t deserve your forgiveness’ And so I did, for my daughter’s sake.
I even invited him over for Christmas since he had nowhere to go.
Is it strange? I’m feeling judgement from people in my life who think I shouldn’t give him the time of day. Some may even think I’m still in love with him (I am not!). Just wanted to see if anyone has gone through the same experience.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I’m so scared, and feel bad to leave my situation. Not my first post, but I just feel so alone, and I have resources together, but I can’t seem to act on them. My bf threatens to call my family. Threatens to destroy my things. I have 2 cats he even threatens them. I feel like he’s trying to strip my life away. All my friends are hoes to him. I’m the one being disrespectful. I feel I’m to blame. I’ve had insecurities/trust issues this whole relationship, and apparently me asking questions is yelling at him, and disrespecting him. Which I know my actions really haven’t been great on my end. I’ve been so overwhelmed with other family issues, and this is the tip of the ice burg I haven’t been great either. Wasn’t really in a good place I would start throwing things. I have yelled at him only because he just won’t stop. Calling me names constantly. He will get in my face one day I ended up scratching him. I ended up cutting myself one day. I’ve been invalidated my whole life, and having someone who’s suppose to be my everything I kinda lost it. I’m extremely embarrassed of my actions. It’s just such an unhealthy relationship, and I want out, but he won’t leave, and he said if I ever report him that makes me evil. Which I know. I just want to be away from him I don’t care to press charges I just want him out of my life. It might be a lot to ask, but if someone is willing to PM me, and talk about it maybe someone can help knock some sense into me.[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Describing my situation with some (very brief) details of the violence:
During a fight at the beginning of the year, he nearly suffocated me and gave me a concussion. There hasn't been any of that type of violence between us since then except one time after a verbal argument, where he more or less said, 'I want to do that to you again but I won't'. I've moved in and out of the house since but after experiencing worsening PCS (post concussion syndrome) symptoms am now back again, trying to focus on recovering some of my health which I've felt moving around so much has not helped me do. This is his apartment. Before I moved in, I was living in a rental that was affordable to me at the time, however, is no longer since I only just finished school when I moved into here, the pandemic had just started and am now still mostly not working and am still pretty sick from PCS (read as: I cannot afford my own place right now). He is gone a lot of the time (weeks at a time) and will continue to be until the summer, when he leaves for work for a full 3-4 months. I am in ongoing therapy and he has gone to a few therapy sessions that afterwards seems to give him a positive shift in perspective. I am pretty convinced at this point that I will need to leave the house and the relationship eventually. However, I also want to focus on doing the things that make me feel like I am on the right track for my recovery. And when I was moved out, I was really struggling with finding a situation where I could be more comfortable than I am here (sans fights). Right now, it honestly feels to me that I am in the best worst case scenario although I realize it is still risky. He did do me serious harm. He could have even ended my life. I don't think that is what he was trying to do and I also don't think he would purposefully do that, although of course I have read the statistics about abuse escalating. Considering all the pros and cons, I feel that for myself, right now, I am leaning towards staying (maybe at longest until the summer when he is gone for the longer period of time) and focusing on my health and recovery as being the best option for me.
My question for the community is:
If you were in my shoes, what would you do and over what period of time? I am looking forward to hearing more perspectives, especially given that I do, in fact, have brain trauma that is no doubt affecting my reasoning skills.
One more thing that I will add for those who have never had brain trauma before:
In my experience of living with PCS, it is like having a very strict limit on your energy level. It feels like I wake up with a set amount of energy to try to do the things I want to do, hoping that at least some of those things are what will eventually help me to make a full recovery and/or give myself an energy boost for upcoming days. I try to eat some brain food, do a couple social things, do some chores, do some exercise, enjoy some screen time, knowing that if I push myself too much in anything that I could bust and 'lose' the rest of my day. I'm finding that pacing myself is very important. A 'bust' may not be life threatening (as far as I know) but it has its consequences and sometimes I feel the effects of a bust for days, weeks. At least for me it is a big factor in knowing that if/when I do move out again, it will take a lot of my energy to do so.
Woof, I'm tired now. thanks for reading through! Hoping to hear some constructive thoughts![/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>How do you do with horrible memories?
How do you make them stop hurting you in the now?
Trauma happened this year. How do I continue living?[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I’m conflicted about reporting my sister’s situation to CPS, and I’d appreciate another perspective and advice on what to do next.
Background: my younger sister, Sarah*, has been with her husband, Jason*, for ~ 20 years. He is 10+ years older than she is, and she was a teenager when they met. Our family has never liked Jason, but we’ve tried to keep the peace for my sister and fear of alienating her. We saw the abusive behaviors starting to emerge when they were dating: poisoning her against us and isolating her from us and friends, control, etc. We knew it had to be her choice to leave him, so we tried to stay in her life as best we could.
In addition to the age gap when they met, Jason’s criminal history bothered us. In separate incidents, he had been convicted of possession of a firearm without a permit, disorderly conduct, furnishing alcohol to minors, and two separate incidents of assault (against two previous girlfriends). We didn’t know the extent of it when they married, but we did know about a felony kidnapping conviction (also an ex-girlfriend), for which he served time, and he said wasn’t his fault, and the whole world is against him — as usual. He’d also had dismissed charges of trespassing, disorderly conduct, burglary, and interference with a 911 call as part of the convictions above.
Shortly after they married, Sarah and Jason moved back to Jason’s hometown in another state, and they have three young children. I never visited them in all this time because Jason and I especially don’t get along, but my parents and other siblings made regular visits, and Sarah also started visiting my parents more, too, when she could with the kids, which might be once every 1-2 years. Jason has always been a deadbeat, never keeping steady employment in their entire relationship, while Sarah works two and three jobs to pay their bills. (He keeps up his delusions that he’s going to be a pro-league sports coach someday.) He is also an abusive father; between the physical abuse (which we only just now confirmed from the kids), the emotional abuse, and his toxic masculinity, he’s a grade A a-hole.
Now, the new story: last fall, my parents got a call in the middle of the night that Jason assaulted Sarah and their eldest child. (By assault, I mean nearly beat to death.) He was arrested and held in jail per their state’s statutes. Of course, my parents immediately went up there, and Sarah was finally ready to leave. (We had suspected physical abuse for a long time, but like most, she keeps secrets.) Because it was a domestic assault, CPS got involved and told her that if she went back to him, she would lose the children. Our family and friends all rallied, from taking care of all the legal stuff so she could leave the state before he was released, to installing security at my parents’ house before they returned, to getting the kids in school and therapy when she arrived, to even finding her a job when she was ready. They have been living with my parents since, who are also providing their primary financial support. With COVID and their trauma, it’s been a rough time, but we have been optimistic. She filed for divorce, and we were finally seeing some of our former sister return.
Jason was charged with two counts of assault and one for preventing a 911 call. When Jason was arraigned, the criminal court issued strict no contact orders. He immediately filed to have online visitation with their two younger children, which the court permitted with supervision. However, the court-appointed guardian ad litem petitioned to be removed from the case since the kids are out of state, and the court allowed Sarah to supervise the twice-weekly calls.
This is where things start to fall apart. He used those calls to basically talk to my sister, and the manipulation game began again. He started breaking the court orders in other ways, too: closing their bank accounts, changing passwords to online bills, and sending the kids gifts. He finally made a big production (via social media) about going to rehab, which we found to be some fake “poor me” camp, for a few weeks.
When he was discharged from there, things really started to escalate. Sarah started becoming even more secretive, and what little we did learn from what she shared about their divorce proceedings seemed like really, really bad advice. (We later found out via photos from an acquaintance that her divorce attorney was caught fraternizing with Jason at an event.) Jason was also calling and texting at all hours, and when we pressed her about the no contact orders, she said they filed to have them revised, and this was all authorized. We know it’s important to let DV survivors have control and not to issue ultimatums, so we took her at her word. Jason had gotten a job (for a few weeks, before he was fired) and was sending her money, which was a major issue in their marriage, and she said she was only interacting with him because of that. She also stopped the kids’ and her own therapy, which we hadn’t realized.
Big mistake. Our alarm bells started screaming when we found out Jason was coming to my parents’ town to visit the kids, and they would all be staying in a hotel. Sarah said this was all okay, but we smelled something rotten. We did our own research and called the court and attorneys in both states, and we learned the no-contact orders had NEVER been revised, and so he had been breaking them this entire time and Sarah was lying to us about it. By the time we confirmed all of this, he had left, and so our local CPS and police department said there was nothing they could do if he was no longer physically there since the case originated in another state. So we started documenting as much as we could and have been waiting these last few weeks.
However, this all came to a head these last few days. Sarah said she was taking the kids to see Jason and his parents in their hometown for spring break. We knew the no-contact orders prohibited this, so we finally confronted her with it the day before, and she LOST HER MIND, accusing of some some “agenda” and how we’re controlling her, etc. We know this is just his manipulation of her, so we didn’t engage in the fight she was starting, and she left mad with the kids. We hadn’t heard from her since.
We have been sick with worry the last few days about the kids and their safety, so I called their local CPS office and asked for a wellness check on the kids. They had the whole backstory already, and by the end of the day, they had notified police and had Jason arrested yesterday. He’s currently sitting in jail waiting to be arraigned, and the prosecutor let us know this will be in addition to the criminal charges already pending in the original incident from last year. He said Sarah was uncooperative, and he absolutely sees what’s happening re: Jason’s manipulation; he indicated that, if he has to, he’s prepared to put their eldest child on the stand to testify.
Sarah still has the kids for now (that we know of), although we’re expecting and prepared for CPS to remove them, at least temporarily. We’re worried they’re going to give them to HIS family, who have enabled Jason in everything, and we’ll never see them again. She is furious with us — especially me, since I called CPS — and says we’ll never talk to them again, we’re the ones who went around the system (not her), and all the textbook abuse-speak Jason has poured into her for 20 years. She also says we’re hypocrites for having a relationship with our parents. (Our dad had a drinking problem when we were growing up, and he’s been sober for almost 20 years. Our other siblings and I have also had a lot of therapy and conversations between us and with our parents, so we are in a much better place and have the relationships and boundaries with each other we need. And we’ve all worked damn hard to make sure we don’t repeat the cycle with our own spouses and kids. Sarah doesn’t see all of that because she’s lived in another state. She left, married this loser, and has been living in a dysfunctional family her entire life. She doesn’t know the difference.)
We know she’s humiliated, ashamed, angry, and terrified, so our family is still mostly unified and can handle what she’s throwing at us (not taking it personally). We see how she got to where she is, and we’re sad and still love her and would welcome her back with open arms when she’s ready to be done with him. But she’s not there, and we have NO IDEA what to do next. We don’t even know if she’s returning with the kids when school starts next week.
Were we right to call CPS? Should I have waited til the kids were back with my parents? We know we did the right things for the kids, but did we do the right thing for Sarah? WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!
TL;DR — I reported my sister to CPS, and they had her husband arrested and will be removing the kids from her care. We’re worried we’ll never see the kids or my sister again. What should we do?
Update: we have tried talking to the social worker at CPS today, and they won’t even tell us where Sarah or the kids are, who even has the kids, or if they’re okay, citing HIPPA. Is there anything else we can do?[/INST]Childbearing</s> | 3 | Childbearing |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I feel so incredibly trapped.
Two weeks ago I had an abortion and the day after I expressed I was upset he didnt ask how i was. He started the verbal abuse and its hard to remember what I had done so wrong. But I was in the shower and i said i wanted to leave. He put the shower head in my mouth and choked me after with his hands. He beat the sink with my hair dryer and cracked the porcelain. He needed to go another town and he calmed on the ride. Then I saw him texting his ex and idk I said that I knew it. We were in a woodsy area when no one around. He pushed my head to the center console and proceeded to punch the back of my neck. Almost home he said that when we get home he used to be the s*** out of me. I begged and pleaded that I would literally do anything. I fantasize about taking my pet and running to the nearest store. My car doesn't work and I didn't have a phone at the time. When we got home I took a shower again because Im only safe to cry there. I heard my pet crying. I got out of the shower to dry off and he brought my pet limp. He then held the back of my neck and made me watch punching my pet. he said that this was my fault. He grabbed a plastic bag and put it over his face. I disassociated because I believe that he was going to die. He threw him back in the cage and we went to bed. I had to pee and checked on him hurt but alive. That morning he was stiff. He made me put him in a bag and put him in the ground. His little toe was broken. I'm so scared I really don't know how to get out of this.
I originally moved in with three of my pets and they oddly died within two months. He kept buying me new ones and claimed if i left he bought them they were his. Drunk he admitted to killing all of them. And tries to apologize for brutally murdering my friend like its not completely insane
I was so sad to have to get an abortion but if i make it out my bean will never know the suffering they would have endured. I try to tell myself that much. I feel two huge losses. Im so weak to fight for safety. It all sounds so ridiculous i dont know if cops would even believe or be able to do anything for a rodent[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I don’t even know what to feel right to be honest but I’ll just explain my situation.
I recently just got out of a relationship that was only about 6 months long. I saw “red flags” very quickly into the relationship but I always thought, “oh well we are just getting acclimated to each other and building trust”. But the verbal and physical(?) abuse just continued.
He would say things such as...
“Why were you at the gym for an hour and half? Where were you?”
(Because I refused sex from him) “Do you touch yourself before I come over?” “Was someone here to do it?”
“Did you not get it out of your system?”
And so so so much more.
He was constantly accusing me of talking to other men or even doing drugs which I hardly even drink.
I would let him know how those things made me feel and he would try to manipulate the situation by saying that “he was allowed to ask questions” or “you acted like this, that’s why asked” or “I’m sorry YOU feel that way.
What I’m confused about is the physical aspect of it all...
He would grab my arms/legs/body while cuddling or sitting or just doing whatever and would squeeze so hard, that I had to tell him to stop. But I had to tell him to stop several times before he actually would let up. He bruised me almost every time he did so which was often. I showed him the bruises and told him he needed to lighten his grip. He didn’t.
On another occasion during sex, he began choking me (which I did not say I wanted). I couldn’t breath, I was pinned down, and I couldn’t talk either to tell him to stop. He got off soon after but I felt like I was going to pass out.
I’m just now realizing that this probably wasn’t okay? I knew that there was mental abuse but I’m trying to figure out my emotions when it comes to him being physical with me. I’m just not sure if it even was abuse and if it was, do I cry, scream, talk to someone?
I ended it just a few weeks ago and have been checking over my shoulder ever since because he is very unstable. I don’t think he’d do anything but I check to see if his car may be around and keep my blinds closed all the time.[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My kids father and I got into a fight and I think he fractured my wrist. If I tell the nurse it was him what will happen? I think I’m just going to say I fell out of fear of cps. Even though I don’t live with him[/INST]Childbearing</s> | 3 | Childbearing |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I've been thinking about reaching out to someone about my domestic violence situation because I don't know what other steps to take and I keep reading that you should tell someone about your situation.
The problem is, theres only one person I think I could tell. They told me even though they were busy with 2 jobs I could take to them about anything or I could tell them if I was in a bad situation. This wasin the fall. The thing is, I tried to reach out asking for help a couple months later but they didnt respond and now I'm hesitant to do it again cause I'm afraid of bothering them. I said "i'm having really tough time" but they never texted me back.
around the holidays i contacted them to let them know i had been really sick and in the hospital and they said they were sorry to hear that and they were just really busy working 2 jobs so sorry they havn't been around.
I dont know what to do. I'm afraid of their mental health suffering if I tell them because its not like they can do anything to help me but listen. I feel like they have a lot going on and telling them that im being abused and have no clue how to get out of it will make their life more confusing and painful cause they cant do anything about it.
I honestly think they might be lying about work so they dont have to talk to me. they havn't initiated contact with me in like 6 months, its always me texting them like once a month and them replying back saying "sorry, im busy". they said they have 2 jobs and are working 16 hours a day. they said they cant text at work but i see them posting on social media at work. i dont know how many who work 16 hours a day 5 days week but maybe I'm wrong.
tldr: I just dont know what to do. I'm afraid of reaching out to the one person who i feel like i can actually tell about my domestic violence because I think they might be trying to be avoiding talking to me already.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My partner has ptsd from foster homes, abusive adoptive mother and ex partner experience. I had an emotionally abusive father who drank a lot.
~~I have had worse nights than this~~, but this isn't a picnic. This rates just under the worst night now.
Tonight, they screamed in my ear after drinking a bunch, and then told me the dogs tripped em and glasses fell behind the tv. I looked quickly, not there. I didn't even have a chance to say anything and immediately I didn't look hard enough bc I'm lazy and stupid.
(I work ft, they can't at all atm due to health issues even before covid. We can't afford dr bills for the needed treatment, and it's a vicious cycle.)
They yelled into each of my ears at dif times tonight bc I couldn't find the glasses they lost. Doesn't even matter they can't tell me when they last had them, only that I am at fault now and always. I'm "garbage", I'm "a slob", I'm "lazy", I'm "to not be trusted"...
After I couldn't find them the first time, punching the couch in front of me while in front of me and yelling at me to go to bed was answer. I did.
Not surprisingly, not even 10 min later, they forgot the series of events as they occurred, barged into bedroom I cannot lock nor barricade and pushed me into the living room to look again...bc they had been waiting "all night". I'm balling, terrified bc I know I could end up bruised tomorrow and terrified of the person I love and trust.
Can't find the glasses still, looking everywhere I can, no luck. Being mocked and put down entire time but told that they need me bc they can't see. Now I can't see bc I'm crying so hard from my head and heart pounding from the yelling and pushing. I'm "worthless", I'm "stupid", it's all my fault, but they need me...they need me?
Can't find it, get pushed into kitchen on floor as I stood there hunched over protecting my face. Hit floor, head hurts, heart hurts, crying. Please don't hurt me anymore I start repeating over and over as I cry and beg for mercy bc I can't find something I didn't lose. I got lucky bc I think he recognized my pleas as similar to his past and he let me go back to bed to hide again.
I hate ptsd, I hate myself, I hate that if it wasn't for alcohol and ptsd and depression I wouldn't be here. And I hate that I make excuses...and have no friends other than my parents whom I won't involve in this mess more than I already have. I don't trust the police to not make things 10x worse.
Update: got pushed around to different rooms for over 2 hours tonight, broken things in the house and it looks like we were robbed with everything tossed. I was grabbed, pushed, dodged punches, strangled, and my wrists twisted. I think this means I need a divorce, but I can't kick them out, I don't want them to commit suicide over it, and can't trust the place to not get trashed if I leave. They threatened to burn it all at one point. And I still love them...?
Thank you for hearing me out. Any feedback is welcome, just please be gentle and understanding as much as possible. This is a tosser acct bc they know my other ones.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My 23yo son was at it again. He insults me, spat on me, calling me "dog" and more. He came into my room raging, spat and trashed my room. He threatened to break my things, laptop and other properties.
He went on from 12 to 4, not letting me rest. He threatened me with knife in hand and violates my privacy everyday.
I told him I'll ring the police and sought for an AVO, and he raged more. This on top of my depression, is not good for me. He often tells me to kill myself...
I know no one cares one little bit cause I guess I brought it onto myself for bringing him into this world. I so regret it!
Happy new year... hope this coming year will be better for all[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I am a 32 year old woman married to a 41 year old man. He lost his job of ten years 3 years ago and hasn’t been the same. He’s bounced from jobs and was unemployed before the pandemic hit.
There was verbal abuse from the get go about 6/7 months into the relationship, that I did not recognize because I am a recently medicated bi polar woman. Everytime the abuse happened I had felt it was my fault because I was erratic emotionally. (But more sad or just energized) and it was hard to comprehend all of my thoughts.
Early in the relationship the first scary fight we had he kept screaming and getting spit in my face, cornering me in the room, not leaving me alone when I asked, Calling me a whore, and would not go away from me while I pleaded. and I hit him off of me. This was after our engagement party which was such a fun time.
I had felt so horrible and awful and abusive. Since then he calls any reaction to him abuse. And it has left me feeling like a monster, getting help, therapy, medicines, groups, meditating.
For years now the cornering, chasing me, yelling at me, barraging me, yelling with spit flying at my face, trying to bust down the door of whatever room I am in, wrecking a room of the home.. has continued. I constantly fear more serious damage will happen, and when I was unmedicated I thought about killing myself everytime we would fight. And I have not one time touched him since that one time. I have practiced so much new knowledge hoping something would change it.
I had considered myself the cause of this, the abuser because of the one time I hit him to get off of me.
Over the summer I got successfully medicated for the first time in my life. And thinking clearly is very easy now.
After some sessions with my therapist she told me he is being abusive. And she said it makes sense that I was trying to push hit away someone who is screaming at me while I plead to be left alone.
In every fight we get into, I end up just saying I want to be left alone over and over and over. And it gets intense until I run away to a room and lock the door. And sometimes that doesn’t work and he bangs on the door and mocks me for crying.
Sometimes the banging outside of the door harassment does not stop until I threaten to call cops, or call my parents and they drive an hour to pick me up.
I have tried so many self improvement tactics hoping that if only I could do something different it would change.
He is more soft spoken then me, has a more delicate frame than me. We are the same height but I’d definitely say people assume I am alpha in this situation. He never leaves my side. Doesn’t have friends outside of mine. And does not make plans for himself. He doesn’t make appointments for himself. Decide he needs a haircut. Floss his Mf teeth. I feel like I’ve had a bug on me honestly. Oh! And “I never give him enough affection... “
And wow. I have really been supportive during all of these transitions and taken on more bills. And never pressured him. Been patient in his job changes. I had continued to have sex with him regularly, made efforts to be sweeter. Tried to be so kind While working and cooking and taking care of us.
But with all of this constant fighting every morning every night and then going to work and coming home to someone who clings to me and then yells at me... I feel so unappreciated, and not seen.
I have been so alone in this. I had constantly thought I was abusive and deserved this.
This entire time I have tried to make sense and try and out logic the fighting, and I’ve finally realized it’s him.
He has not once done anything to account for the yelling or breaking things or chasing me. He apologizes only if he is caught by my parents picking me up. But whatever the fight that started it was always gets brought back up in the next fight. “Oh call the police again you love pigs” (I don’t you just made me feel so unsafe I thought you would hurt me)
I love him and our nice times. It’s not all bad. But none of that changes things. And the good times don’t make sense of the clingy ness.. and the mothering and the amount of caretaker he wants me to be for him .. this yelling / chasing/ forcing me from my home is abuse. And I will not take it.
Our final fight happened and again my family picked me up. I talked to my therapist and we made a list of rules for me to return to the home for two days so I could be close to work. The rules are no talking about emotional things, just strictly house hold necessities. Sleeping in separate rooms. He agreed to them. I’m going to leave again for holidays and come back for work. And asked him to leave the apartment for a week or so, so I have time to think about all of this.
I have my cats (children) here and this is a beautiful apartment I worked hard for. I want him to leave (no job) and I want a divorce. I think we are beyond marriage counseling because he’s never recognized that he has ever been a part of the problem here.
He drinks I say something (a n y thing) and it becomes a full on blow out.
I would like to tell him I want him to leave with a mediator here.
So I was thinking a few weeks would be enough time for me to decide exactly what I need and not hastily.
I would like to separate apartments, and begin divorce process. I know he doesn’t want this. But he is unwilling to change. And I don’t want this anymore. I’ve been dealing with this for five years and I’m done. I would rather be alone.
Any advice? Related experience? Words of encouragement? Anything.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>To the one that broke your heart from abuse?
In my case, my ex was more emotionally abusive, though he grabbed my neck once and slapped me in the face.
I know it’s irrational to think of him lovingly, but am I the only one who has ever considered going back?
That was the leading reason we broke up. I still care for him. It’s been a year now. I know I sound crazy. I just want to hear others thoughts.[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I met this person a little over 2m ago. Everything seemed so great until one night he unleashed his frustrations on me and hit me with a magazine in my nose. At first I swore I’d never speak to him again, and eventually a week after I started speaking to him. I realized he started blaming me for every little argument or disagreement we had, he always called me crazy, and I started to believe it. I found out I was pregnant and he’d call me a murderer for wanting to abort the pregnancy because I feel as if I’m too young and I feel like he’s too mentally unstable. I had moments in the past few weeks where I’d try to contact him thinking it really was my fault and that if I was quieter things would be better but no matter what I was always a problem. So fast forward to today, and I decided to file a police report about the incident of him hitting me with a magazine. Apparently he will be prosecuted or I’m not sure how it works out and I just feel terrible but should I really?[/INST]DV report procedure/Documentation</s> | 6 | DV report procedure/Documentation |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I had a week off work at the end of November 2020 due to injuries that he had given me. I was late to work one day at the end of December due to his need for me to stay awake with him on a night. I needed a day off a couple of weeks ago as I had just started prosecution against him and I’m tired af and stressed af. After I took that day off I was informed I’m on sickness monitoring. I have just taken the weekend off because I’ve had more time with police and done another statement about him contacting me again (breaking bail for the second time in less than two weeks). I’m scared to go back to work because they seem to have no patience for my time off. I don’t want to lose my job. I’m already in so much debt because of him.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I went across the country to be safe from my abuser. He was so manipulative and narcissistic. I am so proud of myself. But it was over 28+ of time with driving, hotels, stops for gas. And pain and aggravation. I made it 12/23 late afternoon. I’m still trying to get myself back together. I am still grieving after the loss of everything (home, relationship, independence, money, and just not knowing what’s next). I’ll be staying with mom for awhile until I can get back on my feet. I have unpacking to do still. Still adjusting to new time zone and new life down here. I have connected to a DV organization to help me get back on my feet as I get through this adjustment and terrifying time. I just want words of encouragement or advice from anyone who has done any of this etc. I’m just trying to stay strong.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My husband is my abuser and sexually assaulted me. I already had to face him once in court and he looked CRAZED and that was at the order of protection hearing. Now we are getting divorced and I will have to face him idk how many times. I had nightmares about him almost non stop since i got the order and I'm terrified of what will happen when it's over. We have 2 kids together so I cant just cut him off. I feel so weak and like I cant do this. How do I face him in court?[/INST]Legal</s> | 2 | Legal |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>It absolutely astounds me when the abuser goes on like the victim. Like THEY were the one getting abused. Speaks volumes... don’t you think? How frustrating.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Yesterday, I was cooking lunch for my 2 kids and 2 step kids while my partner was napping on the sofa. Basically he woke up grouchy and he threw his shoe at me from across the room. For context, he got up and went in the kitchen where I was cooking and told me I’m ruining the pasta - I wasn’t, it was cooked absolutely fine. He didn’t like that I told him that because it was ‘back chatting’ and he’d had enough of the kids doing it all day so he snapped. The thing is he did it in front of all 4 kids and narrowly missing my 1 year old son. I’m not sure if I’m just overreacting in thinking that it’s domestic abuse? This isn’t the first time things like this have happened though. He’s never physically hit me. He’s grabbed me by the collar and rubbed a dirty nappy in my face, thrown things/smashed things and punched a hole in my wall. But never hit me. And for the record the shoe didn’t actually hit me or my son, it was blocked by the baby gate. I think I already know the answer to my question but I’m just confused and very lost and I’m not sure what to do.[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Anytime I try to leave he always takes her away. I can’t take it anymore and I don’t wanna leave without her but I don’t know what else to do. I’d I leave her I’m scared what he’s gonna do, at this point I’m tired I just wanna give up on everything. I’m honestly starting to think this is what I deserve and it’s all my fault, I’ve started to internalize the things he’s says. I hate myself, I feel like a bad mother.[/INST]Childbearing</s> | 3 | Childbearing |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I don't know what to do when my husband gaslights me.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>So last night my husband was reading Calvin and Hobbes (which is great) to our daughter. They were reading for a while (which is great) but nothing was "haha" funny, just kind of funny. Then he got to this part where the mom says something like "if it weren't for \_\_\_\_ I'd be choking you right now" and my husband laughs about it.
The problem is about 10 years ago he strangled me and left bruises on my neck and face and chest and I was in pain for months every time I even swallowed water. Last night was perfect other than that. I didn't want to spoil the evening so I said nothing even though I found it very triggering and kind of bizzare on his part as I've explained to him that he can't make jokes about strangling people (he used to) since he HAS STRANGLED ME.
AITA for being so upset about it? And now it's the weekend and I don't want to wreck our weekend by saying something (he's a narcissist and so calling him on this would mean he's probably verbally abuse me and blame me for wrecking the weekend for all of us etc., it would mean a big fight).
&#x200B;
UPDATE: On Sunday night, so that I wouldn't "ruin the weekend" I calmly brought up that I due to what has happened between us I am not comfortable with how he laughed at a comic where Calvin's mom threatens to strangle him. He "what do you mean what happened?" I said "when you strangled me." He said "that was 10 years ago, I haven't thought about it since then." I said "well, I have because it happened to me." he then went on to say he didn't strangle me because I could breathe and he was just holding me down so I wouldn't get up and yell and I replied that I couldn't breathe and I couldn't scream and that he left bruises all over my chin, jaw, neck and chest and couldn't swallow without being in pain for about and he said "you never had bruises" and I said yes I did, and that that is called strangulation and months, then that went on for a little bit but eventually he did admit that that is strangulation and that that was a horrible thing to do and that it did happen and that he did do that. He then said he doesn't/hasn't laughed at people being strangled because that's not funny and he's not a sociopath. Then I reminded him that he came home from school one day and told me that this woman in his program was super annoying and that he was making jokes to his cohort that he was going to strangle her (and told me that and laughed about it) that at that time I told him I was not comfortable with him making strangulation jokes as HE HAS STRANGLED ME, and he said we never had that conversation (we did have that conversation) but eventually he let that go and just kept saying he's never laughed at anything like that. I reminded him that he laughed when a character on the show Barry got strangled and on the show Homeland one of the characters strangles someone and he laughed again and he said I was being weird in bringing stuff like that up. I said it's not weird, it happened, and he replied that I'm strangely trying to keep track of stuff to be upset about so I replied that I'm not keeping track, I remember those instances because they were very jarring and difficult for me. He said he would never do something like that (he did). BUT WHATEVER. I said fine, whatever, maybe I've misinterpreted, but we will never have to talk about this again if for as long as I live as long as he never laughs or takes lightly anything having to do with strangulation. He said fine, and that he got it. Then later he says to me that I have been holding a grudge. I said I am not holding a grudge, that this is a matter of personal safety, and what I feel isn't anger, it's concern for myself. I said he's a great husband otherwise, but I need him to be sensitive around this issue.
It seems we had a very productive, honest, good discussion and I feel the matter is settled. I actually feel really good about his responses. There was push back and denial and just blatant lack of memory (this is an issue in our relationship) but overall I think he gets it and will be respectful moving forward. He said he would be. I feel he was being honest and that there was a spirit of contrition in his reactions (after all the initial denials lol).
Thanks everyone, I feel like I couldn't have done it without you. It's hard to be in a place like this and always be second-guessing myself, your insights, feedback etc. has been very valuable to me.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My husband and I haven’t had the best time during my pregnancy. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and haven’t been able to let me husband back in the home for a week because of a restraining order. I want him to be there for the birth of our child in 9 weeks, I also want him around but my family is trying to keep him away from me and I’m still having anxiety attacks daily over the whole situation.
A few months ago I confronted my husband over where our money from our savings had went. He choked me in the hallway next to our bedroom during an argument about me wanting to know what happened to it and him saying it was none of my business and I’m crazy. He also broke my laptop and iPad a few days prior and I’m a graphic designer and we don’t have much savings anymore because of the pandemic we’re very strapped for cash right now and couldn’t replace them.
Last week we were in an argument because I wanted him to stop smoking so much weed and he called me annoying and said I need to be submissive. Then he threw my wedding band out the window. And two days after that I was out on a two mile walk with the dog and when I got back he was in a mood and ended up hitting me several times as hard as he could in my right arm and biting me. I was so upset I called the police and now I regret it.
He suffers from PTSD and I have been trying to get him to go get treatment for it and his anger problems because 95% of the time he’s amazing. Romantic, nurturing, loving and helpful. He does things for me all the time without me asking. He’s the perfect partner 95% of the time. But being locked up together and both of us having difficulties during Covid lockdown has made us argue more then ever.
Currently there’s a restraining order and he can’t be around me until we can change that. But the court doesn’t want to make changes until the next court date. I need that to stop now.
Here’s my other problem. Because I went to the hospital that day my parents are extremely worried and because they are both retired they have been taking turns driving the two hour trip to where I live to keep me company. It hasn’t been that bad but I really miss my husband.
I’m having extreme feelings of anxiety everyday and have attacks where I have trouble breathing and start crying uncontrollably. My family is almost forcing me to give up on my marriage because of all of this and I’m not ready to. Because my father was a judge for over 30 years he’s delt with many many cases and keeps telling me it’s going to keep escalating until I’m dead or my son is hurt. He thinks my husband can’t change in enough time for the birth of my son and is doing a good job of talking to me about everything during this time. I tell him honestly how I feel and he explains to me that everything I’m feeling is normal and a lot of women go through this but he’s convinced my husband will always be an abuser.
Help. What do I do here. I love my husband... I love my son. I want to have a family with them but I also don’t want to be hurt anymore. When do I know if he’s had enough counseling?[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Shit hit the fan almost a week ago now and I've been back living with my mom for 4 days. I only knew it was a matter of time before he contacted me. He sent a cute little message saying he's sorry, he wants to coparent, he wants to be united raising our baby, that he loves us- and for a second I second guessed my decision to file a VPO. I wondered if I did the right thing and if I had overreacted. I got scared because I knew once he was served he would be very angry and probably find a way to contact me again and threaten me. But then I had to remember that he put the baby's life in danger when he put his hands on me, and I had to remember that his abuse had been going on for a year and that there was always an apology and a love bomb at the beginning of the cycle. Had to remember that what I was doing was to protect myself, and my baby and that even though I had been desensitized to a lot of the abuse he was dishing out, I had multiple people that confirmed his actions were indeed forms of abuse. I'm just trying to remain calm, and unafraid, leading up to this court date..[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I was recently attacked by my now ex partner who choke dragged me from one room to another the continued to suffocate me. In which i honestly thought i was going to loose my life. We are over. The police are involved. Im scared of him. But im desensitized to it when i talk to friends about the situation im very nonchalant where as they are really shoked and worried for me...
Im a pretty it is what it is person. But something feels strange that i just dont care to an extent i was attacked??[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>(I don't want to give out too many details because my friend uses reddit sometimes and may be on this subreddit.)
Long story short, my boyfriend was abusive recently; the police were called. I told my friend, and she ended up telling my family despite me begging her not to. I kind of threw her under the bus and made her out to be crazy to my family. When I made it clear to her that I don't intend to leave him (the abuse was during a mental health crisis, and he's getting help now), she started saying that I'm lying about the abuse and giving domestic violence victims a bad reputation. She was vicious.
I don't know if she *actually* thinks I'm lying, or if she was just trying to get me to defend myself and say it was true so that she could screenshot it and send proof to my family. I basically just have to sit here and let her say that I'm lying in case that is what she's trying to do.
Her behavior doesn't make sense, though. She texted my boyfriend and said that he could go ahead and kill me now that she has blocked me and no one would know now (basically implying that no one will check up on me now that she's not talking to me). If she *really* thought that my boyfriend would kill me, she wouldn't say that - that could push him over the edge if he were really that violent.
My boyfriend and I are just trying to move on. We're both seeking help. She won't let it go, though.
I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm better off because she's being abusive herself. What would you do?[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>This is my first time coming to the internet for advice . i feel like i have no where else to turn to for support or any advice without feeling like a burden ... I moved in with my boyfriend and its been great im starting the new year off well. He takes me everywhere since i dont know how to drive. Im trying to learn but he hardly teaches me . he says hes going to so that i can save money and not have to go to driving school . but still i havent learned anything. I wokeup him up this morning because he needed to take me to my doctors appointment. I tried waking him up by kissing him and gently rubbing his shoulder and he wouldn't move (hes a heavy sleeper) i told him wakeup you have to take me to my appointment so hes getting dressed and the whole time hes cursing and complaining about how hes tired of driving me everywhere. So i say okay fine ill just take an Uber. and i walk away and he rushes towards me and slaps the shit out of me !! And says you just woke me up made me get ready for nothing ?! I was so hurt i left the house and called my ride . i have a bruise on my cheek and my doctor asked me about it . i told her and she asked me if i wanted to make a report and i said . i dont know what to do . i feel like this was my fault..[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My abuser throws out put downs in casual convo and I move on like it’s normal.
Example, he was asking me this morning if I wanted to go with him somewhere. When I declined he said, “ what are you going to do lay around all day tweeting about trump? You probably have someone you text about that stuff “ I didn’t even ask what he meant, just moved convo forward like it’s normal to say things like that to people.
He likes to insinuate that I’m cheating once in awhile. I feel so fucked up to be accepting this behavior. It’s embarrassing that I’m a strong person everywhere in my life but with him. With him, I’m a weak shell of myself. Fearful and self doubting. Trapped.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Hi All! I (33F) have been married for more than 5 years and have a 3 year old. My marriage has been full of physical assault, sexual coercion, verbal abuse, and gaslighting. Me, my husband and daughter recently immigrated to a new country and lived with my sister’s family for a few months.
Once my husband and I got new jobs, the three of us moved out to an apartment near to my sister’s place. 4 days after moving in, my husband, started touching my body after I had said no. I said no again and removed my hands. He leapt over my sleeping daughter and struck me across the face. It wasn’t the first time he had hit me, but it was the first time in my daughter’s presence. I moved out with my daughter the next day and have been giving the situation a lot of thought. In the last 4 weeks since leaving the house, there have been no apologies. My parents and my sister also stood by me when I finalised my decision to separate from him. Once he received the letter from my lawyer he came crawling back, called my parents and other family members telling them he had made a big mistake and wants to reconcile. He has deceived me multiple times during the relationship, so I’m not falling for that. But unfortunately now my parents have been influenced. They say that they don’t like the guy, and that I should do what I want to, but they recently said hurtful things like, “don’t involve us, this is embarrassing for us”. I’m from a south Asian family, divorce is still a taboo, so I wasn’t expecting them to cheer me on, but is there some way to convince the family to stand by me? I’m a financially independent woman, I’m well educated, I got a decent job in the new country before my husband did, and I have been the level headed kid of the family. I have done what I was told to for as long as I remember. I feel betrayed right now, given that I have never given my parents any trouble, and this is the only time I’m “not playing by the rules”. I feel alone. Has anyone overcome something similar?[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Thank you for providing this space and for reading this post. My mom is an immigrant from China and speaks broken English; she is 57 and has been a homemaker for several decades. My dad controls all aspects of our household's finances, so as far as we know my mom has nothing to her name. No car, no savings. Both my mom and I still live with my dad in Maryland, but I graduated from college last month and just started my first full-time job. From my savings and first paycheck I have $15k in my bank account. My older sister, who lives in England and has been working for five years, will help as well.
So far, this is our escape plan:
1. First we'll set up a secret bank account. My sister and I can ensure that the initial funds meet the minimum balance to avoid monthly fees, and we'll continue to contribute to the account every month. We're not sure if it's better to create the account in my mom's name or in mine.
2. We'll also secretly gather all my mom's and my legal documents: passports, Social Security cards, etc.
3. At some point we'll have to pack basic belongings without attracting my Dad's attention, and we can probably move into an Airbnb on relatively short notice.
What worries me is that my Dad has my checking account password, my savings account password, my card details, and my Social Security Number. He periodically withdraws money from my account, and I've always let him since I was afraid he'd get violent. I worry that even if I change all my passwords and take my legal documents when we go, he could still hurt us financially if not physically. How do I ensure that he can't track us down and can't access our accounts?[/INST]Safety planning</s> | 7 | Safety planning |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>How to forgive self for living what u lived.
For not asking for help when needed.
How to live now, knowing that u experienced severe domestic abuse?
How do you internally apologize self for what put self in?[/INST]Legal</s> | 2 | Legal |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I’ve been seeing my partner for nearly a year now and it keeps getting worse and worse
The hitting has increased. The abusive, gaslighting, manipulation and constantly demanding all of my energy... I’m absolutely exhausted and I can’t do this anymore
I’ve lost so many friends because of this person because nobody wants to be around me anymore
My best friend of 10 years distances herself entirely because she is ‘protecting her own energy’ from this
And I feel so isolated and like I can’t reach out to anybody
Every time we break up I have an overwhelming amount of separation anxiety and I just run back because of the trauma bond
They have even admitted themselves that they know there is a trauma bond between us
They are a really really intense stalker, harasser as well
They create profiles and emails and additionally works at a centre for the national post office so they can access everyone’s private information like address and phone number
I feel so sick and trapped and I honestly have no idea what to do, I feel like they could hurt me more if I left
Btw I’m in Melbourne Australia; every time I call 1800 respect they just tell me to leave them but it’s extremely difficult without any emotional support around me[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>*tw- violence
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I was in a short-lived relationship that ended in a violent episode where my x choked me twice before leaving, once resulting in my passing out. After the episode he left and unknown to me, filed a police report claiming we had a fight but stating he wasn’t injured and didn’t want to file charges or do anything. The officer noted he wasn’t injured. In my state, if he was, they would have immediately come to at least talk to me and probably arrest me. Nothing happened and I wasn’t even aware until 5 days later that he had taken any action. At the time, I was stunned and in shock that this person had tried to kill me and it took me awhile to process the gravity of it so I didn’t immediately file charges. I went to three intense trauma therapy sessions in the span of five days to try to process it. My x had been staying in my home and had some expensive items delivered after the incident so on the advice of some lawyer friends I reached out to him to let him know these items had arrived. He never answered me over the weekend and the following Monday went to family court to file for a temporary order of protection. In my state anyone and everyone can be granted a TOP.
The order was complete fabrication where he contradicts his own report that he made with the police. When I was served the sheriffs advised me to go and file criminal charges, as I was bruised and visibly injured. So I did. The fact that he’d make such grandiose false claims made me incredibly fearful of him and what he was capable of. I felt like I was dealing w a true sociopath. The results of these actions are that there’s a criminal trial again him and a civil action against me.
So now the civil trial is coming to a head. Given that he’s a defendant in a criminal case, everyone expected him to let the family court order against me expire because having him testify to a fabricated story on the record can and will be used against him in criminal court. I have an attorney who has met with his “victim” advocate multiple times and while she agrees with my attorney that this was filed to try to intimidate me and because abusers try to blame-shift, she can’t compel him to not to force a trial. So a trial in this family case awaits me and a criminal trial in the charges I filed probably also awaits me.
I haven’t seen him since the incident. The trial will be on zoom but despite this, I am terrified. Truly terrified. He’s coming out with these clearly doctored photos claiming injuries and I will have to relive that day in his presence again in order to refute his nonsense claims. I will have to sit there and not react to obvious lies and fabrications. I will have to try to remain calm as this person who tried to kill me lies repeatedly. I will have to contain my fear so I can speak my truth. And I think he will enjoy seeing how terrified I am. I truly do. And I think seeing me will increase his obsession with me when all I want is for him to forget I ever existed.
I’m not really looking for advice. This person tried to kill me over a very short relationship ending. I guess I just want to say that this is why victims don’t come forward— the pure terror of having to relive the terrible incident over again, having to be non reactive to false claims made by someone who tried to end your life, having to deal with a legal system that allows this shit to go on. Having to deal him potentially winning in a court where the burden of proof is much lower and him reigniting his feelings about me. I understand why anyone and everyone should be able to file for these orders. But this tactic by abusers to try to paint themselves as victims is disgusting and should warrant criminal consequences in order to deter them.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>15 months after we broke up, he came back. He sent a message on Christmas day saying he wanted to talk. I didn't respond, I only saw the message more than a week after, but 2 weeks after I did. We spoke over the phone and he said he hasn't moved on albeit trying so hard.
He saw therapists the whole time so he says he has changed, a different man and he wants to show me that changed man.
He apologized, saying he was disgusted to who he was, sincerely sorry for the pain he has caused, ashamed of what he did to me.
He said it was embarrassing that he only found out he needed help from the psychiatrist at his age (mid 30's), it felt naked having to tell them all, the family he was accustomed to was violent.
I said No. It's over.
Then I saw a Tinder account, two pictures are erotic sensual photos clearly taken off online, last photo was his body - no head. I was sure it was him because the moles, the stance, the background was undeniably him.
My fake profile matched with his. His profile wanted to see me in person. To hang out at some bar. After telling me I was the only person he wanted to be with, I was livid to find out about this.
He admitted it was his photo, but it was a photo he sent to someone 7 months ago. He denied it was his profile.
It was just chaotic. I am tired of the shitshow he creates and brings. I blocked him again, hurt again. I saw my therapist again.
Why does he keep coming back? Why does he make me feel in pain? Does he not want to just live a happy life, sans hurting somebody else's?[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I left my husband last week after I noticed his behavior changing since I began struggling financially. When we dated he had gotten on top of me and covered my face so that I couldn’t breath, physically restrained me, and threw me onto the floor all on separate occasions. When I left that time he tried to sue me for rent money but the case was thrown out because I had photos of bruises.
His behavior the past couple of months started escalating where he’d put all his weight on me and wouldn’t get off unless I gave him a kiss or if I tried to shove him off he’d say I was being aggressive. He is now harassing me about rent money (I’ve gone no contact) he sent me a ridiculous agreement to sign and I told him I’m not signing it because first off I have no money due to him financially draining me, it also said nothing about removing my name from the lease (yet he wants me to send my key back), and that I left for a reason I don’t care if I’m legally bound to the lease and if my credit gets screwed up, I want nothing to do with him or the apartment. I knew after I left he’d begin with stalking behavior which he has never had an Instagram but the other day it suggested I should follow a new account that has his specific nickname. I was also walking my dog when I saw a car slow down and then speed up that was just like his, I couldn’t see the license plate, but my mom was able to find the clip on her Ring. After I refused to sign the agreement he included in his response “we will see what the judge says this time with my photos and evidence”. I dug my nails into him one of the times that he refused to get off of me and he took playfully took photos, the other evidence is when I was going through a miscarriage and swatted my hand at him after him telling me I can’t have kids because I’m cursed by God and that I’m going to hell, he began filming me saying I attacked him and was crazy and a demon. This is what I’m most nervous about because I did attempt to backhand his arm when he said this.
The night before I left the final straw was him blocking me from leaving a room twice and then claiming I pushed him when I squeezed past him to go lock myself in the other room. I could see he was trying to force me into positions where he’d say I was abusive when I tried to defend myself. He’s always said if I ever call the police on him he’d claim he was acting in self defense. The week before I left he thought it was funny to point a loaded AK 47 type of gun at the cats, when I asked him to stop he said the safety was on and that they liked it bc they were sniffing it.
I really don’t know if any of his behaviors will matter in court but I did not attack him in the way he is making it sound. I am not the abuser and the last time I tried to get a not contact through my school they retracted it after he called and said I was just trying to get out of paying rent money. I have spoken with an attorney and am getting a no contact order but I know he will try to bring this up against me.
Advice in this would be much appreciated, I’m terrified.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I [f30] left him [m33] about a year and a half ago, but I’m still at times processing what was done to me. Most who are close to me know that something violent was going on behind closed doors, but nobody knows the extent of danger and fear I was in for so long. I have a couple of friends who have been through partner violence in some way, and both of them were a huge support to me, but how do I make my other loved ones understand that some of my healing will take time if they haven’t been through it themselves?
How do I make them understand that it wasn’t a few isolated incidents, I was essentially living inside a psychological thriller for nine YEARS. That I may be thriving now, and moving on in so many ways, but on days when the abuse I suffered gets to me, can you just let me fucking have this day?
What results is this distance from everyone I truly care about. For the most part, they don’t know or can’t appreciate the severity of what I went through. Some have told me they don’t want to know specifics and I fully respect that it’s hard to think of someone you care about in danger. But I could’ve been killed so many times. I was close to being murdered a handful of times. Only my chance or his choice saved me. I went home each night not knowing whether I would be coming out in the morning on my feet or in a body bag. I know these things and some of them don’t.
I’m doing ok now, but just, sometimes it’s on my mind and I find that to be perfectly reasonable given what I’ve been through. I give myself time to be sad about it because I know I went through a hell of a time. I also know that when I give myself that time and care I get a little bit stronger. I learn something new. I become less upset by it. I wish my loved ones could support me through this, but I feel like I have to have all my most important healing moments behind closed doors while keeping up a facade of happiness to my loved ones. It feels eerily similar to what I used to do when I was going home to a beating, rather than going home to a good cry and some self care rituals.
So, how do I do it? How do I make people understand both the depth and gravity of what I was going through and the additional time it’s going to take me to be “moved on” from it? Any stories, anecdotes advice or support helps. And thanks in advance![/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My children and I made our escape from our abuser last year. Even though we escaped it seems impossible to stabilize. I filed for divorce. I was able to get a permanent protection order for myself. I currently have temporary full custody. I got us into housing. I have temporary orders for spousal maintenance and child support. He has continued to stalk us even with the court orders that are in place. Last week I was presented with a surprise court order requiring me to pay the $1375 that my soon to be ex-husband was originally ordered to pay for a Child and Family Investigator. I already paid $1375 to cover my half but since he is choosing not to pay his half, the judge ordered me to pay it. I only have $700 that I can pay at this point. If I can't magically come up with another $675 the investigation will stay on hold. The CFI can not begin their investigation until they are paid in full. How can I manage to get us truly stabilized and fight for the children's safety after escaping from two decades of physical, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse? And where can I find the financial help that I need to get through this custody battle?[/INST]Childbearing</s> | 3 | Childbearing |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>This is the millionth time I've tried to write this.
I NEED resources ASAP. He terminated our lease, because "I wanted him to". I've planned out this move SO many times, and he has pulled the rug from under EVERY plan. Either he is doing something else, or he's upset I assumed he was doing something else. He says he's giving me money, but won't say how much or even when. I have TWO weeks left to find a place AND a job in Illinois. My oldest is on the spectrum. I have to do this structured. I keep being told moving companies offer help, but the ones I called say it's someone else that does it. WHO does that? Do you know of ANY remote jobs out there that aren't scams? I estimate needing to gross 3k to pay rent. My kids are picking up on my stress... I've BEEN homeless before. It took a whole decade to get where I am now, and this whole thing is so triggering. He's using my success as a survivor as a weapon. He laughed when I cried about having to leave everything I've worked SO hard to build. I have NO help, and yes, I did a GoFundMe. Unfortunately, having to avoid identifying information made it go over like a lead balloon. My brain is so fried from all the added stress I can't think straight.. I'm at the end of my rope. Please. Any helpful advice or encouragement. I'm tired.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>If you've been reading my posts you know what I've gone through to get where I am right now and it has been a long a hard journey. But I've made it this far and I'm really proud of myself for making it this far. However, I'm not out of the woods just yet.
My abuser somehow got a plea bargain for his case and gave me a phone number to call to tell the person that I would like to drop charges on him in which he will be home in a month or so.
I don't want to call the number. I refuse to do so because, in the past 2 weeks, I learned what he did to me was not normal, that it was abusive and insane and just generally dangerous for me as a person. If I call and drop the charges then I would be in much bigger danger than I was before. In the past 2 weeks, I learned how a normal relationship is supposed to function and how partners are supposed to treat each other. I also learn his intentions, what he was doing and why he was doing it. So I refuse to let myself fall into that trap again. I refuse to allow my dogs to have to go through animal abuse again.
I guess what I'm trying to ask here is what should I do now? Should I file a restraining order? My friend suggested that I should file a restraining order. His court hearing is tomorrow at 9 am and he may get a lesser sentence than what was originally given to him and I'm scared that once his sentence is over he is going to just come back in my life and I would be abuse once again. I have reached out to local support groups. I have close friends and family who are just a phone call away, but right now I am by myself. I am living alone in my current apartment complex that he knows the address to and how to get to. I am honestly scared for my life. I am making that change and taking that step to heal but I feel like it's not enough...[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My ex and I started seeing each other a couple months back. I have a 10 year restraining order on him, yes I know. Stupidity and loneliness and 2 failed dating attempts opened the door up for him. The day after Christmas we had a fight where he ended up dragging me about 15 ft by hair, ripping chunks of it out. He also held me down and put a pillow over my face to stop my screaming.
Before him I had beautiful hair and used to get many compliments. That never happens anymore. Ever since he’s pulled it out the first few times, it’s much thinner and has become a great insecurity of mine.
I feel awful about myself and why I could be so stupid to let him do this to me again. I had made it almost a year no contact with him. My hair had partially grown back and looked more normal just for him to rip all of it out worse than he ever has before. Thankfully my scalp did not bleed or scab so I’m hopeful some of it will grow back. But it’s awful, I can feel the coolness on my bare scalp when the wind blows and I keep obsessing whether or not it’s visible.
The worse part is that I still love him and care for him deeply. The cops were called and I cooperated. Now he is in jail for violating the ro, felony domestic violence, felony assault with likely bodily injury, and felony possession of ammunition by prohibited person.
I have cooperated with police, but I’ve also accepted his phone calls and wrote him emails. I know I’m fucking stupid. I don’t have much hope. He will probably get out soon thanks to covid. I do miss him and worry about him but I’m so angry for what he’s done to me again. I didn’t do anything to deserve this except hang out with him.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>TW: drug use, violence
I have a friend whose abuser is staying at her place and it’s been really tricky getting him to leave. Quick background: he was arrested a couple months ago for breaking into her house and destroying a bunch of stuff. He was released from jail but was given an ankle monitor and a No Contact order. He had a serious health issue come up, and somehow (not sure the details) manipulated her into taking him in and taking care of him. He’s better now, but still at her house, and apparently using heroin. She needs him to leave but he is violent and mentally unstable so she’s scared to set a boundary and kick him out... and with good reason. Dude is scary, can confirm.
I reminded her that she has a lot of people in her life who would call the cops if they knew he was at her place. She is afraid to let most of the people in her life know that dude is at her house for this reason. She is afraid that she will get in trouble because she consented to having him come into her house again (though we all know how manipulative and threatening abusers can be). There’s also the fact that there are illegal drugs in her house, even though they aren’t hers. She also is a single mom to two teenage kids. Basically I’m helping her figure out if it’s going to backfire on her if someone called the cops to get this guy out of her house. Does anybody know if this would be a safe option for her?
I am basically the only person she feels safe talking to right now because I promised that I would only call the cops with her consent. I was in a very similar DV situation that I had to navigate without involving cops. So I want to respect that because she needs this lifeline and I don’t want to mess up anything for her.
Don’t want to disclose the US state we’re in on a public post, but if it helps I’d be happy to get into specifics over DM.
TLDR: will my friend get in trouble if abuser is arrested for violating no contact order if she consented to having him in her house to begin with? He also brought hard drugs into her house.[/INST]Legal</s> | 2 | Legal |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Hey,
My best friend and mother of my godkids was badly assaulted by her ex at the weekend and during the prolonged attack (which was in-front of the youngest 2) he smashed her mobile and their tv.
She has an autistic teenage son and 2 young kids and cannot afford to replace the tv but it’s very important for them, especially the son with autism.
I was wondering if there are any charities that might replace broken items for domestic abuse victims?
I lost my job during first lockdown otherwise I’d just replace anything for her but sadly I can’t afford to do that right now.
Thanks in advance to anyone who can help[/INST]Shelters/ DV center/ Agency</s> | 1 | Shelters/ DV center/ Agency |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Hey everyone. My friend in japan has been communicating to me about this terrible physically and mentally abusive relationship she’s in. She has severe depression and anxiety and is suicidal and her boyfriend probably can’t handle it and he lashes out and hit her and chokes her and punches her and blames it on her mental issues. He has called the police on her before after he hits her and the police are fairly aware of the situation because they go to the police so often. The last time this happened was two nights ago on her birthday and she sent me pictures of the aftermath and I have never seen such deep bruising in my entire life. He called the police on her... idk why but even the police officers told her that it was her fault because she “promised” she wouldn’t have anxiety or depression anymore. He left her alone at the police station and was acting level headed so he could push the narrative that she’s the crazy one. I just want to know if you think people like this can change, or can their relationship change. I had enough of her calling me once a week telling me her boyfriend had beaten her so badly and then they go out to dinner and she thinks he’s magically changed and is fine. I’m genuinely scared for her because she has lost so much weight due to the stress and now weighs 85 pounds. It’s violence happens literally all the time and he called her after her birthday to say it’s not just her fault and she doesn’t need to be scared and he sent her a present and all of a sudden she’s back to believing he can change. Do you think this behavior can change? He doesn’t seem to want to do some aggressive type or therapy and laughs at his “mistakes” of abusing when he is at therapy. I just want your opinions because I’ve never been in a relationship like this but it seems so far gone that he has no hope at all. He honestly disgusts me.[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I'm not sure if this would need a trigger warning or not.
Today, my husband came home after a morning out, screaming and calling me names, and making untrue accusations. I wanted to get away from him, so I went in our room and locked the door. I knew he was coming after me so I sat with my back bracing the door and hands dug into the carpet to try and keep it shut. He broke through and continue yelling at me. I went to the next open room - the master bathroom - and again tried holding the door with my back. Of course it didn't work, but I was scared and felt like I needed to try. He was still shouting but allowed me to walk past him. He was yelling from our kitchen, I stayed in the hallway and tried to take a picture of our broken doors before he could fix them. He caught me and shoulder checked me against the wall and grabbed my phone to keep. By this time, I'm telling him I need it back so I can call my parents to come get me. I don't know how, but somehow we made it from the hall into the kitchen and he is yelling that he will call my parents and I can wait outside and have my phone back after they arrive etc. That was no dice for me, so I tried to get my phone out of his pocket (dumb, i know) and he shoved me down to the ground screaming at me and telling my kids inappropriate and untrue things to try and turn them against me. I called the police.
I feel stupid because all I've got is a bruised shoulder and some scratches or something on my back - it was such a mild thing to call over. He tried telling the police I was abusing him in the altercation, but I never shoved back or anything, maybe pushed a little to try and prevent a fall? It's a blur honestly. The police officer told me to call the prosecution in the morning to let them know if I want to press charges and...I'm frozen. I don't know what to do. I can't help but feel like I'm betraying my best friend if I do. I can't help but feel like what he did wasn't actually abuse and I'm just overreacting. Here I am, laying in our bed cuddled up to his pillow and wearing my wedding ring as well as his, missing him and wishing he was here to hold me.
I don't know what to do. I'm trying to remind myself that two nights ago he shoved me off our bed and ripped pages out of one of my book and threw them on me while shouting and name calling. Then after he was done, and I couldn't move from fear, he picked me up off the ground and held me and told me that he didn't mean to and he could never hurt me, etc.
I guess since he has never and doesn't hit me, it feels like it doesn't qualify as abuse, if that makes sense. So many people go through so much worse, maybe I'm just the boy who cried wolf.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do, and every hour that gets closer to the time I have to call is agonizing because I know I still won't have an answer. What if calling was the worst mistake of my life?[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>What great advice do you have for those currently in an abusive relationship, for those planning to leave, or for those that have just gotten out of an abusive relationship? Maybe the advice/information was given to you by someone else, maybe you came across it online, or maybe you found out the hard way. Let’s inform and empower each other!
Me? I have been in an abusive marriage for 10 years and I’m finally getting ready to leave. About two weeks ago, my husband was using my Facebook on my iPad to access Facebook Marketplace. He doesn’t have his own account. I had just gotten to a place where I had decided to leave and was going to tell my closest friends. That’s when I realized that I had all my texts and iMessages going to both my phone and my iPad. I quietly turned that feature off, told my friends not to use Facebook Messenger to contact me anymore, and deleted our Messenger conversations. This could have unknowingly put me in a very dangerous position and it had never even crossed my mind.
So, what about you?[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Me (20F) and my boyfriend (30M) have been together for 2,5 years now, living together for 2 years. I originally posted this on another page, but got send here. I'm sorry for some grammatical mistakes, my English isn't that great.
Just a little backstory, my boyfriend has always been a bit of an aggressive person, not really like fighting, but he gets mad pretty easily. He used scream at customer service people, whenever a company would made a mistake. It seems like he's taking these mistakes as some kind of personal issue. Since this gives some inconveniences in life, he started working on it and it actually got a lot better.
Lately my boyfriend and I have been fighting some more than we used to. Most fights are about pretty small things, like him always throwing his dirty laundry on the floor, instead of in the laundry basket. So when I tell him stuff like that bothers me, he says I'm his girlfriend and not his mom, so I shouldn't complain about things like that. This upsets me a little, because I'm not trying to complain, I just want to express to him that some of these things just bother me.
So skip to a couple of weeks ago, we had a big fight and we were both pretty mad. In fights I tend to go from mad to crying, when I realise that I don't want to fight. So I walked way and laid down on the bed to cry and calm down a bit. He walked right behind me and when I laid down, he started hitting me on the back of my head. After his fists hit my head a couple of times he left and I cried some more. Although my head did hurt for a week, it feels like it hurt me more mentally than it did physically. I tried to forgive him, but I'm just kind of scared of him now. Since that day I've been drinking a lot every day, because I'm just not able to proces it well.
Then this monday he actually told me I should leave, because he didn't want to be with me anymore, he got mad about me not wanting psychical contant in thse last weeks. After he said that, it seemed like he changed his mind and wants me to stay. So we decided to talk about everything that happened, which brings us to today. I told him that I'm not sure I'll be able to forgive him for hitting me, because it still hurts me a lot mentally. He said sorry for hitting me and told me he won't ever do it again and that he just lost control. I'm really unsure about what I should do, because I love him, but I'm just having a really hard time dealing with this mentally.
Does it get better and will the fear go away? Is it likely that he will do it again? Will I be able to forgive him in time?
I'm sorry if this isn't the right place for this post, I don't want to offend real victims of domestic abuse by posting my story here.[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Idk... i can’t stop crying I don’t even know where to start so I’m just gonna list what he did last night and what he’s done before...
he said he loved me I’m so confused... it hurts
He got upset because I was texting a coworker flirting... told me I was a hoe and a bitch and to get the fuck out at 3-4 am while I’m drunk...
- he found his address and threatened to find the guy and hurt him
- he hit me in the head
- grabbed my face and threw me around
- when I locked myself in his car he pulled my hair from the window
- I begged and begged and said I loved him to let me stay he said he doesn’t give a fuck and to get out I’m not wanted
- he let me sleep until I was sober enough but then left on the couch took all the blankets and pillows and left me there and said I didn’t deserve a blanket
Before last night
-Kicked me out his house numerous of times
-He choked me and hit my head against a wall
-He put a gun to my face and made me call my friend on FaceTime to see how much of a whore I am
-Threw my phone and purse out and say I’m his and I’m not going anywhere
-Said he could make me disappear and no one will ever see me again
- Straddled on top of me and took both of his hands and choked me until I blacked out
-He laughed when I woke up gasping for air
-Threw my phone on the floor and his and said if I touch either one I’m dead
-He’s thrown his dog across the room in front of me and kicked her repeatedly and made me watch
-Reached his hand in my car grabbed my neck and choked me
-Slammed my shoulder against my car door
-Knocked me upside the head
-Left marks on my neck that will probably scar and burn because of how hard he was choking me
-Made me call male friends to end friendships and block them
-Shot at my friends building while I’m in the car
-Made me tell My friend at the gas station in person won’t see him anymore and steal from the gas station
-Poured lighter fluid all over my clothes the night before work
I feel so pathetic and like trash. Like I’m nothing. I cried and begged I made him food. I feel so dumb.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I have a downstairs neighbor who is ((at the VERY LEAST )) being emotionally abused by her husband. He yells at her and their children almost every waking moment--I know, I work from home now...He also slams every door in his house CONSTANTLY which doesn't really bother us upstairs but I know that slamming/throwing things is usually a sign of escalation.
I can't just sit idly by. It is literally not in my DNA...How can I help? Even now, he has been yelling for HOURS.
I gave her my phone number recently when he left one day and I heard him screaming about it so I think that he found it or she told him? I hope that's not the case...
I'm not sure what to do...[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Tonight he was really high. I lost a patient today and was a bit upset and he wasn’t okay with that I guess. He hit me and shoved me and choked me and I was so scared. It has never been this bad before. I don’t think I have ever been so scared. He was talking about killing me and himself and he’s asleep now and I’m so tired but I’m so afraid to fall asleep.
I told a friend and asked him to call the cops if I didn’t check in but I backed out and asked him not to because I was so scared. I know it’s not my fault, I’ve read all the stuff and my friend tells me it’s not but it really feels that way. I don’t know what to do anymore[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My boyfriend and I just moved into a new place this week, a two-family home split straight down the middle, with several roommates (who already lived here). Tonight around 6 p.m., my boyfriend and I heard respectively, “can anyone hear me” and “help me”, but somewhat muffled and neither of us could tell where it was coming from or whether we heard it correctly. There was a ton of screaming so my boyfriend ran outside but no one was there and after that we didn’t hear anything else. We had no way of knowing where it was coming from and if we heard correctly, and this would be a terrible neighborhood to bring police into on vague accusations of harm. We decided to keep an eye and ear out for anything else - I’m not sure if we made a mistake here.
Around 1:30 tonight we heard two women arguing, mostly what sounded like the woman from earlier. Lot’s of screaming. “I’m going to fucking murder you!”, and it really sounded like the woman who screamed around 6, but we don’t want to say we’re certain. However if it wasn’t her, there would have had to been four people there, because the third voice was distinct. That voice said “don’t do it dont do it don’t do it”. Extremely loud screaming. There was crashing and bumping and lots of noise, it shook our room multiple times -really intense. I heard a man’s voice - not yelling, so not distinct enough to know what he said - and some more movement and nothing since then.
I’m very frightened but also very confused about what is even going on here - what should we do? We didn’t know it was coming from next door earlier, and of course we cannot and would not just ignore this - but I’m terrified of endangering anyone’s safety by involving the police. I’m sure this is an incredibly delicate situation and I am really just terrified for whoever is in that house.[/INST]Police</s> | 4 | Police |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My sister has been in a long term relationship with an abusive boyfriend for the last several years (maybe around 8 or 9?). She has a son by another man that is now turning 14. Our mom has told me for awhile about the boyfriend’s violent behavior, but he is always extremely nice to me and my sister never said anything to me. My mom is bipolar and can really escalate things and blow them out of proportion. I didn’t think she was lying, but I did think she was exaggerating some. I’ve asked my sister in the past and she’s responded with, “You know how mom is,” and told me I had nothing to worry about.
Tonight my mom called me with my nephew in the car. A fight broke out at my sister’s and the boyfriend attacked my nephew, then attacked my sister when she tried to break it up. My sister is 7 months pregnant. My nephew ran from the house, calling my mom to pick him up from the street in the neighborhood. My mind is really blown about the extent of this.
My nephew and I talked for awhile for the first time about this. He came clean to me about the abuse, which seems to be both physical and mental and both targeted at him and my sister. It’s absolutely unacceptable that this man is putting hands on my nephew and my sister. My nephew asked me to fly home (I live in another state) to talk to my sister. My mom would like me to come and stage an intervention.
I am planning on going in the next few days, but I’m unsure of how to handle the situation. As I said, my sister is pregnant and she’s not going to leave this man (although she is the primary bread winner in the family and could if not for the emotionally complicated piece of it), but my nephew is terrified and says he feels unsafe at home. I feel we need to protect him, but I also feel loyal toward my sister and her autonomy over her life and son. Finally, this man is not what I would call emotionally intelligent. He’s not going to see the error of his ways because we all come together to tell him how worried we are about them. I don’t think he’d agree to go to counseling or therapy either.
Does anyone have any help or resources? Should I hire someone qualified to help us with intervening? They are in California, if that is helpful. Please, if anyone has any advice, I’d really appreciate it! I’m worried for my nephew and want to help him in whatever way I can.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I've called the police three times now, on my mum's husband for domestic abuse. But they won't do anything. Each time I report him, they don't go into it in detail. They don't even bother. The first time, a knife was pulled on my mum with death threats to both of us. The second time, he tried to choke me and after that, while I was calling the police, there was more death threats. The last time, which was about 2 days ago, he beat my mum so hard that she has dents in her forehead and under her eye, she also has a split lip, and he broke her phone in half. She's with me now (I live separately with my grandma and someone else, she lived with him and my 1 year old step sister but now she and the sister are here).
No matter how much I tell them, how much physical and verbal pain he gives, they won't do anything. Everyday I wake up I live with the fear that he might kill me, or my mum, or both. I'm only 17, and I want to get out, but I can't do anything. My college (UK) knows about this too, but there's not much they can really do - they have their own police too, but at this point I don't think going there will help.
I never thought that my life would end up like this, and if I'm being honest, I feel like I'm going to be stuck in this hell until he kills me.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I'm just now going through a breakup with a man who has been abusive towards me for about a year. I got pregnant by him... and so I moved in with him at his grandmas because I was overwhelmed about going through pregnancy and parenting all alone. Plus he has a close knit big family id also be able to rely on for baby care. Last night.. he got angry at me and it resulted in him picking up my cat and throwing her outside... I went looking for her but couldn't find her. Then later on in the night as I was packing all my things to leave and he said he didn't even throw her out he just put her in the living room but that he wasn't going to give her back he was going to get rid of her, then the next morning (I'm staying in a hotel right now) I went back to get her and he said he looked for her but she's gone. I don't know what to DO. How do you even deal with this. She was my BEST FRIEND. One of the closest cats to me I've ever had (raising her in quarentine). And now she's just... gone... and tomorrow I have to make the 4 hour drive back to where my mom lives. And she's just gone forever. I don't know what to do. How to feel. If what he did was illegal. If I can use that in court if he tries to take the baby when it comes... I just... I don't know.[/INST]Legal</s> | 2 | Legal |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Sorry for blowing up this thread but it feels like my one and only outlet right now. I’m tossing and turning. My heart aches yet I’m angry.
Right now I keep thinking about when they say you bring a monster out of them. What kind of bs is that?
If it’s true that he shut the door on me because he thinks I’m no good for him or he doesn’t like who he is around me- that’s bs. HIS actions are not MY fault. HIS choices are his alone. I loved him IN SPITE of himself. But I bring out a monster in him? So what he rather take the easy way out and ignore the root of his issue rather than work it out with me alongside him? Or just be with someone else until she figures out who he is and keep trading one person for another? If I’m not the one worth bettering himself over- then he can go to hell. He betrayed me in about a billion different ways. Karma can have him.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>We have been together for a bit over a year. Red flags from the beginning including knowing about his past. Wanted to believe him anyways. Emotional, physical. And mental abuse. With the majority of physical abuse involving choking me. He now is trying to force me to be poly because he claims it will be good for my depression oh and because I’m overweight. I don’t want to be poly and have brought up the fact that if he abuses her, he could go to jail. He didn’t care for that. And then he says he loves me and misses me when we aren’t together. But how could this be love. How can you be so cruel to someone who you say you love. We have swung with other couples, again something he wanted. But I have told him that poly was a dealbreaker fir me but now he says he needs it. That I have no choice. We have to do it. The idea of him kissing and loving another woman is like a dagger to my heart. I can’t handle it. But then the rational part of me thinks this would be a good way to try to leave safely. He made a comment last night that he knows we will die together, hopefully it will be when we are old. And laughed and said I misunderstood him when I mentioned that it sounded like a murder suicide situation. I guess I just needed to get this out.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Why do we attract these people is it because we are too soft or lenient with negative behaviour? Is it because we are too desperate im so fed up
😞[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>(Lengthy) I’m 23 and my bf is 30. We met a year ago, started dating in august and in a relationship January. A couple of days before Valentine’s Day he blacked out on alcohol and attacked me. I explained in another sub the details of the incident. He left me with broken and bleeding nails, bruised back from pushing me down multiple times, punched me, pulled my hair and prevented me from leaving his apartment. The police showed up but we didn’t answer. Once they left he held a knife to his neck threatening to kill himself if I walk out. He tried to get to his safe where I assume there was a gun. I wouldn’t allow him to get to it because I was terrified. I stayed with him for the night because I couldn’t go home to my family in the condition I was in. The next day he blamed everything on the alcohol and begged me not to leave him. That he loves me and I’m his everything. If I leave I’ll be taking everything away from him. He began to lovebomb me with gifts and treats. Ever since this happened I emotionally checked out. he begged me for another chance. He blew up my phone and showed up to my house unannounced begging to make things right, so I gave in. A couple of weeks past and during an argument I brought up his abuse and he said “how long are you gonna hold that against me?? You know that wasn’t me it was the alcohol”. It has only been two weeks and he expected me to forgive and forget before my wounds were healed. I told him he’s has an addiction and all he did was deflect to the only time I got sick from drinking, compared to the multiple times I took care of his drunk ass. I never met anyone who mixes Taylor port and Hennessy everyday all day and swear they don’t have a drinking problem. It was so disgusting to watch him drink. He didn’t understand why I wouldn’t talk much or have sex with him. He thought I was torturing him for no reason.
A few weeks ago my mom got terribly sick and I was stressed out. I wouldn’t answer his calls as I was busy taking care of stuff. He sent me an angry text and said “you act like I’m the one who got your mom sick”. Idk what is was about that one phrase that sent me through the roof. I told him we’re over and to leave me alone. Of course he showed up to my house unannounced and brought me a bag full of candy and a bunch of apologies. We had a short conversation when he realized I was serious he snatch the bag and threw it into traffic. He called me the next day asking if this is what I really want. He sent threatening text messages and says he has enough money to run if he does dirt. Yesterday he said it’s not over unless HE says it’s over. He really believes this relationship is able to be salvaged. He wants to talk to me in person but I refuse to because I’m scared. I’m exhausted and I’m not sure what else he is capable of. Especially since I’ve only started to get to know him a few months ago. I told him I won’t press charges but if it gets to that point I will have no other choice but to. I have not told anybody except Reddit smh. I’ve never endured anything like this.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Hi everyone, I just really need some support right now. I keep thinking this all can’t get worse and then the whole process just proves me wrong over and over again. This is gonna be long so if you have the time to read and respond, I would really really appreciate it.
So I’ve been going through the title ix process of reporting my ex for sexual assault for about 7 months now. I had the hearing over a month ago, got the outcome a few days later, and they were found responsible for only sexual harassment instead. They were only put on academic probation and have to take two short classes on relationships. Meanwhile, the conduct officers severely misunderstood almost everything about the case, believed everything my ex said over me, and ended up blaming me for the assault because they thought I initiated it all, even though neither I nor my ex said that. So naturally, after such a BS outcome, I decided to appeal. My university only gives three options to appeal:
1) The conduct officers did not follow the school’s hearing policy.
2) The outcome was not severe enough to match the violation.
3) There is new information available that could affect the decision made during the hearing.
I chose number 2 because I thought that would encompass the argument that my ex *should* have been found responsible for sexual assault. I wrote a 6 page appeal letter for the application and it was accepted a few weeks ago. I’d say about 90% of it was talking about why I thought my ex should have been found responsible for sexual assault.
Today, however, I had a meeting with the appeals board liaison, and she said that I have to really only appeal on the grounds that the outcome (probation and the two classes) was not severe enough for the sexual harassment charge, and that it I want to talk about how my ex should have been found responsible for sexual assault, I have to frame it under that somehow. Also, if the appeals board decides that there is enough evidence that the conduct officers made the wrong decision in terms of not finding my ex responsible for sexual assault, then the most they can do is remand it for a new hearing.
The part about having to go through a rehearing makes sense, but what does not make sense to me is that I couldn’t directly appeal the decision the conduct officers made about my ex not being responsible for sexual assault and all of the blatant mistakes the conduct officers made in misunderstanding the case, blindly believing my ex over me, and then blaming me with no evidence. There should have been a fourth option under the reasons to appeal for that. Now I have to basically find a way to wheedle my entire argument into another that barely even relates, and then possibly go through a rehearing, which the liaison told me today that my school has not allowed for a rehearing the entire two years she’s worked there, so the chances of that happening are slim-to-none.
I don’t want to go through this anymore. I definitely don’t want to have to go through another hearing. But I also don’t want to let my ex get away with this and let the conduct officers get away with doing their job so extremely badly that they think blindly accepting what the accused says is fine and that blaming the victim for their own assault is acceptable, because they’ll probably turn around and do it to the next person who reports.
Unfortunately, this is bigger than just getting justice for what my ex did to me now. I have to fight to not be blamed for my ex’s decision to assault me and also to protect the next person who reports so that it won’t happen to them too. And now I have to do it in the most round about way possible because my school doesn’t allow an option to appeal that they f*cked up.
I know this will absolutely run me into the ground and then some, but I can’t just lay down and give up now.[/INST]Legal</s> | 2 | Legal |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My sister is getting a divorce from her abuser but he filed first. We only notice because we looked up public records and there it was on the website. However, yesterday he had a family friend serve my sister, and the document is obviously False and they are trying to pass it as her copy. There's no official stamp, its a response to a divorce, not a petition. On the court website it says a petition was filed. I can add pictures but have to edit out personal info. What can we do? I'm going to call the courts on Monday. Isn't this illegal? I believe they think we are stupid enough to accept it and do nothing with it, so he can get full custody of the children.
** Edit
They also had a lot of mistakes like address and Name.[/INST]Legal</s> | 2 | Legal |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Two years ago today I left my abuser. I was 21, miserable, and scared for my life. I lived with him so i had to uproot my life with my two cats (my angels❤️) and while it was truly the best decision i ever made, i still feel the same way i did that day. Not sad, because i wanted to leave him for such a long time before i was able to, but just afraid. i spend every day afraid he’s going to lash out at me somehow, somewhere. That i’m going to run into him in public (we’re both from a small town, he doesn’t live here currently but could come back any day since his child is here) and he really IS going to kill me or hurt me again. That he’s going to post the naked pictures and videos that I’m sure he still has of me. I have nightmares where i can’t get away from him, i check every parking lot for his car before i get out of mine, i ask “who’s going to be there?” or “who’s there right now?” every where i go in fear of running into him. Him grabbing me by the hair and dragging me through the whole apartment, giving me rug burn all over my body, hitting my head into the walls and furniture before he threw me out in the snow in my underwear and locked me out there with nothing plays in my head in a loop over and over. the times i said no to sex and fought for a few minutes just to give up and lay there limp and pretend it wasn’t happening because he was bigger than me and was ultimately going to get what he wanted anyway replays over and over. the constant insults and threats he hurled at me “kill yourself” “if you don’t come home right now i will kill your cats “you’re fucking useless” “why are you so fucking dumb” “you’re nothing without me” play on a loop as well. i left the abuse and i still feel so trapped. our mutual friends didn’t believe me, he blasted me on social media calling me a liar repeatedly, I’m no longer in danger but i still live in such fear of him like he’s the boogie man lurking around every corner and i don’t know how to move past it. how do i stop living in fear? will i ever feel like myself again? when will my life stop revolving around the worst thing that ever happened to me? how does he continue to live his life unbothered with such a huge support system? why didn’t they believe me? i’m not even sure that i’m looking for answers here, but no one i’m close to has experienced this and as helpful as they try to be, talking about it makes them uncomfortable and i understand that. it’s just so unfair that someone could do those awful things and then just continue on with their life while i live mine terrified. sorry for the formatting and rant.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>We got married in 2020 after 3 months of dating (now, I can recognize some of the red flags, in hindsight) he "love-bombed" me for straight up 7 months. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world, but when we started having financial issues along with other ones, he started being malevolent to me. Emotional, verbal, and physical abuse took place. My friends called the cops on him and he went to jail for one night. After he came out, he went broke, financially to hire lawyers, etc. There were orders of protection in place and other no-contact orders from the military (he works in the military) so we couldn't have a clear conversation and every time we tried some sort of third-party communication thing, everything went left. Now, he's vindictive, he deleted all of my pictures from his social media, hates my guts, is back with his ex, and had some other woman harrass me online.
I, on the other hand, can't seem to move on. I spent most of my time romanticizing our broken marriage, thinking that we're still lovers (I know), hating myself for wanting him back, hating him for ruining everything, being scared that he's going to harm me as soon as the order of protection is lifted. Despite all of that, I filed for divorce because he wasn't doing anything; he was just keeping me in a limbo.
Why do I still have feelings for him? Why do I want him back? Why can't I just move on? Why do I blame myself for my marriage falling apart?[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I am struggling greatly with processing my situation. The grieving process is..... terrible. It seems like I am battling against anger vs severe depression vs hope every other hour. I’ll try to leave as little context as possible but that might not happen: his first time occurrence led to an arrest for assault. I believe I provoked him and we were equally responsible. The state issued a no contact order and movers were sent to move him out of our home the next day (which killed me.) As I am sure everyone in this group knows, rarely are these overturned. 5-10% to be exact. Over the first week, all I kept thinking was, “for better or worse.” I had lists of contacts and made countless calls and I actually got the DA to lift the no contact order. However, he will not reach out to me, whether because his family has convinced him it is a non-functional relationship or it is of his own accord I don’t think I’ll ever know. I thought it was worth giving him grace. After all, he had given me so much throughout the duration of our time together. I feel like he slammed the door on me. Ghosted me. After being together for years without a single word. Who abandons a person after beating them? I feel like I can forgive the abuse but not the abandonment. I’m enraged. In love. Desperate. Hopeful. Hateful. My family is heartbroken because they loved him and he won’t be around for Christmas. I’m sorry if my situation doesn’t fit the norm but I’m struggling. Advice/ thoughts are welcome because I have my own mental health issues and processing this by myself is proving to feel hopeless. Also keep in mind I was in a severely abusive relationship for 4 years a long time ago so I understand the whole other side as well as wishing the person who hurt you was dead and not being able to wrap your mind around wanting to give someone “grace.” but this feels different. At least in my short term processing .... Thank you.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Husband was arrested this morning for DV. We were already mid separation, so some people know we were heading to separation. Downside is we work together.
Who did you tell the truth to, and how did you tell them? Did you keep it simple and private from some people?
I just don't know how to approach this. His family knows because he called them from jail, my best friends know, and my boss. I really don't want to tell my family and am struggling with how to deal with this at work. He will have a restraining order against him that we will have to figure out the verbiage and give to HR.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I've been in a physically abusive relationships before, but I thought this was the one. He seemed emotionally stable, safe, and mature-at first. I feel a bit wimpy posting here because I haven't really been physically hurt.
The only way to keep him happy is to just smile and nod and say the right things at the right time. If I don't get a reference, disagree with his humor or politics, I'm stupid or deliberately upsetting him.
When I bring up issues that are important to me/hurting me, he interrupts, turns it into how I'm saying something entirely different, and how I'm abusive and gaslighting and don't care about his feelings. He won't give me space if we're arguing, but will break things and storm off when it suits him.
It has been escalating the last month, now he will punch his own face, cracks jokes about me being abusive, threatens to take my car and drive off a bridge, or threatens to shoot himself if I don't shut up when he wants, say something he doesn't like, try to break up, don't agree with him (after I moved in, he began saying demeaning things about race, women, and lgbtq+. He says I just don't understand his humor). When I get fed up of being cornered and demeaned and talk back he gets mopey and sad that i don't care about him and blames his behavior all on his own ptsd, anxiety, and depression. He won't go get help, either.
Recently, I was crying, begging him to just let me leave. He said I could go and then said he'll just shoot himself since he's such a POS and went to get his gun (blocking my exit). He hasn't physically hurt me but he is sure to show how angry he is by grinding his teeth, clenching and balling his fists, popping his knuckles, hitting/throwing/breaking things, etc.
He's made several comments in the last month about how easy it would be to break my neck, hands, and wrists with one hand, how he could crush my skull in one hand etc randomly, like when hugging me and squeezing until my back cracks and I can't breath and saying how easy it would be to just keep squeezing.
He jokingly started smothering me with a pillow two weeks ago but stopped when I told him to and said he could have kept going if he wanted to. He hurt me during sex the last time but he seemed genuinely concerned about the amount of blood, so I'm not sure if he meant to hurt me. The remorse/caring was gone pretty soon after though, and I hurt from it still. He may have just been grossed out by my blood rather than concerned.
I used to be sure he would never hurt me. It feels like he is spiraling out of control and is unpredictable. I don't feel safe anymore.
I can't sneak much out because he never leaves and he has a photographic memory.
I'm trying to plan my escape, and debating leaving furniture here because of my discomfort/uncertainty about what he will do. Maybe I am too sensitive, but I want out.
This week my plan is to get my paperwork and money, toiletries, and some clothing out (going to donate a bunch and use that excuse).
If I try to get my home goods, I am considering hiring some big dudes with moving company, time it tight and get his guns when he's in the bathroom or sleeping and empty them, put the bullets in a bag and hide them, and block his gun safe, ammo, and knives with as much crap as possible (idk the code, he has many guns), and plan on getting my stuff out within 30-45 minutes.
I could call PD for an escort, I think, but idk if that's making too much of a scene (since he has only injured himself and inanimate objects so far), it might just make things worse. At this point, I believe he'd go suicide by cop when wound up.
Luckily, there are no children or pets involved, I am gainfully employed and can sleep at a few different friend's places until I get my own place.
Does anyone have tips for the actual move out process when the man never leaves and has lots of weapons? I would like to try to avoid his suicide or self harm.[/INST]Safety planning</s> | 7 | Safety planning |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I’m curious, what has your experience been with the time between physical incidents of abuse? These things happen in cycles, but I know that a “calm” period can lull me into a false sense of security. I would like to hear what some have seen as the longer periods between episodes and how it made you feel.[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My husband has always had rage issues. They were exacerbated by a TBI in a car wreck this summer.
He has been physically, financially, and verbally abusive mainly all directed at me but occasionally otherwise. He is seeing a psychiatrist and working in the right direction but started to spiral with the stress of the holidays.
I ended up leaving him with his parents, and traveling home alone (six hours). That threw him into a greater anti-me tirade. He says I’m Bi-Polar and I’m making up being afraid of him. He’s threatened to divorce me and ruin my life if I take protective action.
Yet, he keeps threatening homelessness on me and saying he’s going to come home and take the kids. His parents own our house so that makes everything a little bit harder.
I just love him and want him to get help and take his medicine correctly. He’s really terrible to our children and I at times and it’s not quite normal. I don’t want divorce or separation, I just want him healthy and stable. I don’t know what to do anymore.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Hi everyone. So I’ll try to keep it as brief as I know how to.
Was in a relationship for 2 years, we were engaged. We went through a lot together. For example him being diagnosed with a pretty serious condition, him going to jail twice, and him getting his by a car (he almost died).
I love this person so much however during all this time it was filled with a lot of mentally abusive stuff, momment a from blocking me from leaving all the way to posting my nude on his Facebook. However ironically what made me walk away finally was him cheating after me going through the car wreck recovery with him. It still eats at me.
Well cut a year later and here we are. He has just reached out to me, we have talked a bit and he wants very badly to date me again. He seems a lot calmer and is being very nice. However…. In the back of my mind I wish I could get over the cheating and abuse but i just can’t…. When I see him it’s like I wanna date him too but I just feel wronged. Does anyone know what my best move might be?[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I have already left a 10 year marriage. 2 kids together, so I must deal with this person on some level. But when I first left I called the cops many times on him. Recently I filed a protective order and I asked for the police reports on all the times I called the police as part of evidence. The report was totally against me, as if he is some angel and I am the crazy one for calling the cops on him. It angers me to read this report and confirms that he can “talk his way out of anything.”[/INST]Police</s> | 4 | Police |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>So I'm trying to find a way to leave with our dog. Without me he would be alone inside all day until after 4pm and he's anxious and attached. My only problem is I attempted to leave before and my boyfriend showed up where I was staying and took him. He likes to be in control and I know he will always find me and take him. Does anyone have advice for moving forward and keeping my dog with me?[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I left my abusive relationship, but I still have so much pain and anger and sadness and shame and anxiety and distrust and on and on. I feel like this relationship crushed me. The whole world feels unsafe now. I think of some of the things he did and the pain still feels as fresh as the day it happened. I'm tired of the anxiety attacks and the panick attacks.
I'm in therapy, but I've been in therapy for a while. I am getting a little better, but I just want to be free of this. I hate him, and everything he put me through, and everything that led me to him.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>So I will admit I am in a mentally and physically abusive relationship. I am an isolated mom of a 2 and 1 year old. Just two nights ago he tried to choke me until I passed out. Then he held me across his lap and punched me in my ribs. (He caught me writing other men on a secret Instagram so that was my fault). The list goes on and on but that’s the most recent incident.
But last night he texted me while I was at work (I’m a stripper) that he wanted to get head as soon as I walked in the door. Of course I was tired and didn’t feel like it but I texted agreeing to it because I didn’t want to make him mad.
Once I get home and start the act I’m clearly not into it. I even run to the bathroom for a little bit to recollect myself so I don’t start crying. Once I get back to doing the act, he tells me that I’m doing a terrible job. When he tells me that I say “Yeah because I don’t wanna keep doing it” and he replies “I know and I don’t give a fuck. Keep going”. It started to seem like he was getting off because I was visibly upset or that’s just what I thought in the moment.
I eventually can’t bring myself to do it anymore. He stands up and says “I’ll remember that” then he goes to the living room to finish himself off. And I go to sleep. I don’t think this is SA but I keep having the feeling like I got assaulted.[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I left last April, when I left I was a grey shadow of a woman, a dry husk. I'm doing better now, not great but better, but people don't seem to understand that me pre-him is dead.
They think I'm rude because I call people out constantly when they talk down to me, accuse me of things that aren't true, say something derogatory or sexist, gaslight me or try to dismiss me. I used to brush things off, I wouldn't rise to people and I'd take things with a pinch of salt or find the funny side.
But now I fucking refuse, I refuse to give people a free pass, I refuse to brush it off or take it on the chin from anyone, be they family, "friends", friends of friends that I'm expected to be polite to, strangers that run their mouth.
I'm not putting myself in danger or being aggressive to anyone at all, that's not my nature, I'm just standing up for myself for the first time.
And now people that I've stood by and supported through so many things while I was secretly dealing with years of abuse are treating me like I'm some obnoxious bitch because I've found my backbone. I've stopped putting everyone else first and allowing my own needs to fall by the wayside so I can do things for others. And rather than anyone thinking it's healthy that I'm finally looking after myself for the first time at 30, they're treating my like I'm a selfish bitch for not being at their beck and call.
I'm tired and I'm frustrated, and I'm so so lonely. Are my standards too high now? Is it better to feel like shit for looking after myself and ending up alone or feel like shit because people are shitting on me but at least I have company?[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I cleaned out a lot of stuff two months ago to prep for this so I’d really only have the bare minimum but even that feels like a lot. I don’t really know to be honest.. I don’t know what’s a point of reference on how much I need and what to bring. If I’ll need a lot of stuff at the shelter or it will be provided etc.
Idk about money for pet food either. There’s a lot of questions running through my head right now along with the excitement and anxiety.
I also need to plan an escape route. If i just take my pet and me (I’m very sadly leaving two birds behind that technically belong to the abusers even though I took care of them), then I can play it off as a vet visit. But if I take some boxes, I can only pass so many off as more donations boxes. (I have 5 boxes and potentially a suitcase though that would be noticeable) I’m not sure if they’ll notice or ignore it. They have a front door cam so even sneaking it out the back and to the front is dangerous.
I’m spiraling from all the thoughts in my head, so any help/advice is *greatly* appreciated.
PS I’m super excited to finally be free. I pray I never ever have to go back to them or their hell home. I’m adding this because I know a lot of survivors struggle with leaving and thinking about the process. I can relate but I’m still very happy and grateful for this chance. Naturally there comes some anxiety to work through but I know it’ll all turn out well in the end and for the best.
TIA![/INST]Safety planning</s> | 7 | Safety planning |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I left a 7 year old abusive relationship last night and I’m absolutely shattered. I can’t eat or sleep. How do you get through the first days of this? It hurts so bad.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>It’s been a year since I escaped my “abusive” relationship. (I still don’t even feel comfortable calling it that)
He is truly a genuine, kind, loving person. I admire him so much. Everyone else also enjoys how chill, respectful, and laidback he is. 95% of the time, we made incredible, amazing memories.
But during that other 5%, he would blow up out of frustration at my aggressive anxiety and panic attacks (he’s very familiar with my mental illnesses). He ripped apart a special painting I had commissioned of our fur babies; he ripped out electrical wires that supplied my electricity; he threw away all of my stuff stored at his place and threatened to tow my car; he smashed a box of blueberries into the ground, knowing they are my favorite fruit.
He’d do this while loudly, violently insulting me too. There was a lot of screaming, from both me and him. A lot of me crying, begging him to stop, and him fuming in rage ceaselessly.
Now, how do I explain all this to people without completely demonizing him? When spoken of altogether, his anger outbursts do seem horrible. But I know that he is more than just his anger and violence. He is someone who’s done so much for me, helped me survive. I don’t want anyone to burn their bridges with him; I still only want the best for him. Plus, I know I had toxic behaviors too! I don’t want to discount that!
I want to tell people the truth of why we broke up without going into all the above detail. How do I talk about this without turning people against him?[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I left him. This morning. After yet another emotional degrading episode in front of our 5 kids I took it as a sign to get out. I was not at all prepared because I’ve been so afraid, but when he went to work -after leaving and coming back multiple times- I threw clothes for me and my kids into a hamper took some snacks and a few essential items and documents and we left. Of course he’s promising he’s getting help. He’s crying he misses his kids. Trying all the things he can to get me to give into his control. But my sister helped me and I have safe place to sleep with my kids until Tuesday. And hopefully I will hear back from my local DV assistance/shelter. They have a long waitlist so I couldn’t get into it right away. I am afraid I will get arrested for taking my kids without his permission and he dosent know where they are. I’m afraid I will let him reel me back in. I’m afraid I really won’t be able to take care of myself and my kids like he’s told me countless times in the past. But I decided I can’t let the fear I have stop me. I have also contacted my local legal aid and submitted an online application so hopefully they can get back to me ASAP. I have so many thoughts spiraling threw my head as I lay with my sleeping children. If anyone has any advice on what I should/could do please tell me. Thank you all I know this is a new account so my abuser will not be able to track me I hope it’s ok.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I am no longer with my partner but the biggest trouble I have had with closure is wondering why they were abusive. I also have a hard time understanding how they treated others with respect and kindness yet with me at times it was another story. I have a difficult time processing how moments between us could be great and that it was not bad 24/7 but when it was bad, it was bad.
I am in therapy and multiple professionals have brought up that abusive people have a VERY hard time changing their behavior even with help and that abusers are often the way they are because of something that happened in their childhood. As far as I know nothing insane happened in my ex partner's childhood that they disclosed for me so I struggle with not knowing why I was treated the way I was.
TW Emotional/physical violence: >!There were times where I was treated so bad. Every holiday/birthday was always ruined. He would break furniture, scream at me, etc. I could not be happy, but I find myself still feeling bad for my ex partner. !<[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>Hey! Thanks to everyone who leaves any bit of advice, anything would be appreciated.
So, this might be a longish post which I apologize for. My boyfriend (24) and me(22) have been dating for 4 years. He’s a super sweet guy and he’s bipolar. Throughout the first 3 and like a half years of our relationship we’ve had no real issues, the only exception being him cheating on me, but I forgave him for that (please don’t judge me for that lol).
A few months ago we had an argument because he thought I was fucking my co-worker, who he knows is gay and he slapped me. He apologized, explained that he was manic and basically said it wasn’t his fault, he had been up for like over a day so I believed him. Since then it happened 4 more times, every time he told me he was manic and didn’t mean to do it. Yesterday after being up again for over a day he chocked me because I laughed at a joke in a movie, like it was for nothing. After he calmed down I told him that he can’t keep blaming being bipolar, that he should talk to his therapist about it and he essentially yelled at me, saying I was bullying him for his mental illness and calling me a bitch for not wanting to stick with him, saying he might not be alive if I left, even though I didn’t even say I wanted to leave I just wanted him to like figure out why this keeps happening. He said that if I stop flirting with other guys, and just be more pleasant and helpful when he’s manic or depressive, this wouldn’t happen.
Is he right? He is really nice to me like literally 99 per cent and I really don’t know much about mental health, I’d really hate to be like making him worse. My best friend thinks he’s just using the mental health as an excuse but I think he’s really suffering, what do you think? Please be nice[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>
I don’t really want advice. I just want to tell someone. I have no one to tell the truth.
I have a 6 month old and 2 others under 5, with my partner.
I have been suffering from Post partum depression and anxiety. I’ll be honest, sometimes when I have a panic attack, I get uncontrollable. I have medication that takes a couple weeks to really help, but I still have my moments.
Saturday was one of those moments. I yelled and yelled, and eventually i kicked a wall. The wall kick was the climax of my tantrum.
As I’m walking out of the room, I hear him yell from behind me. I turn around and see him running out of the room after me. As soon as I could look at him straight, his hand was around my neck. He turned me around and then I felt his hand on the back of my head, in my hair.
He pulled my hair back, to pull my head back, and wrapped his arm around my throat.
He picked me up, and slammed me face first onto the hardwood floor. I can still hear the crack of my nose as it made impact. Once laying on the floor, he sat on my back, arm still around my throat. I couldn’t breathe. Everything I knew about fighting came to mind, and when I realized I couldn’t get air at all, no matter how much I wiggled, I just started tapping the floor.
He didn’t stop.
Frantically I started tapping his leg.
He didn’t stop.
I try once more on the floor.
He didn’t stop.
Finally, I just stopped tapping.
At this point, all I can hear is my toddler’s screams.
I didn’t have hardly any air left in my lungs to keep me conscious.
He finally let go and walked away. I just laid on the floor to catch my breath.
Eventually I made it to the bathroom. I thought I only had a nose issue.
I guess I had a bruised nose, a giant lump above my eyebrow, and I bit through my tongue.
A few hours later, I noticed my knees and hips were black and blue as well.
It’s been 3 days, my jaw still hurts from where his arm was on my neck. My nose is still bruised. My wrist is sprained from the fall. I feel like I’ve been in a car accident.
I’ve been with him for 4 years, and I would have never expected this. At all..
I didn’t even come at him physically. I was 6 ft away from him when I hit the wall..
I don’t know if I can move on from this.. he said he was just trying to “subdue” me. He was “just trying to put me to sleep.”
I think he almost killed me.
I’ve told everyone that I just fell while running up the stairs. Which explains all of my bruises pretty
I feel so stupid. He may not have killed me, but a part of me died on that floor. I think that part was my self worth. I haven’t showered since. I can’t really even bring myself to look at him.
Tonight I ordered pizza, because dinner just seemed to hard. I know he’s going to say something about that when he gets home. I have the means to leave, but I don’t know how to just leave my house and everything I’ve built. I’m so scared. I’m heartbroken. He has never laid an unsolicited hand on me before. Then this.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>My boyfriend and I got into an argument because I wanted to plan my day around studying for school. I’m in the nursing program so I HAVE to study everyday. He first got upset when I mentioned going to study tomorrow with my classmate. I tried to calm him down by saying I’d get everything I need to done still. He said I don’t need to study tomorrow since I did that today with my classmate. It got quiet and I decided to leave and go to the room to finish my hw and study. He came to the room and said “why are you doing this”. I told him all I want to do is study, it’s not that big a deal. So he said I have other priorities..when will I have time for him. He was having people come over so we decided to talk about it later. I slammed the door on our way out the bedroom, I’ll admit that was wrong. He then turned around and grabbed me by the shoulders and kept pushing me back. He didn’t push me into the wall..but it did scare me. He was also getting in my face and said “why the fuck are you slamming doors” . I went back into the room to get away from him and he followed me saying it wasn’t even hard I’m over exaggerating. He then apologized..I don’t buy it tho. I’m sorry if this isn’t the right sub.[/INST]Communication</s> | 13 | Communication |
<s>[INST] <<SYS>>You need to extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below.We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency:Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and give me the result you get, only with the name of the kind from the eight types.<</SYS>>I think I left my marriage before things got physically abusive. While angry, my husband has thrown food I was cooking at walls, broke a wooden door, and broke a glass shower door while I was still taking a shower. Is it true that “they hit things around you before they hit you”?
He’s such a kind person otherwise. I’m a mess and can’t tell if I left a good person who needs to work through their anger issues, or if I left a situation that was bound to get a lot worse.[/INST]DV knowledge</s> | 12 | DV knowledge |