“Cursed, cursed creator! Why did I live? Why, in that instant, did I not
extinguish the spark of existence which you had so wantonly bestowed? I know
not; despair had not yet taken possession of me; my feelings were those of rage
and revenge. I could with pleasure have destroyed the cottage and its
inhabitants and have glutted myself with their shrieks and misery. “When night came I quitted my retreat and wandered in the wood; and now, no
longer restrained by the fear of discovery, I gave vent to my anguish in
fearful howlings. I was like a wild beast that had broken the toils, destroying
the objects that obstructed me and ranging through the wood with a stag-like
swiftness. Oh! What a miserable night I passed! The cold stars shone in
mockery, and the bare trees waved their branches above me; now and then the
sweet voice of a bird burst forth amidst the universal stillness. All, save I,
were at rest or in enjoyment; I, like the arch-fiend, bore a hell within me,
and finding myself unsympathised with, wished to tear up the trees, spread
havoc and destruction around me, and then to have sat down and enjoyed the
ruin. “But this was a luxury of sensation that could not endure; I became fatigued
with excess of bodily exertion and sank on the damp grass in the sick impotence
of despair. There was none among the myriads of men that existed who would pity
or assist me; and should I feel kindness towards my enemies? No: from that
moment I declared everlasting war against the species, and more than all,
against him who had formed me and sent me forth to this insupportable misery. “The sun rose; I heard the voices of men and knew that it was impossible to
return to my retreat during that day. Accordingly I hid myself in some thick
underwood, determining to devote the ensuing hours to reflection on my
situation. “The pleasant sunshine and the pure air of day restored me to some degree of
tranquillity; and when I considered what had passed at the cottage, I could not
help believing that I had been too hasty in my conclusions. I had certainly
acted imprudently. It was apparent that my conversation had interested the
father in my behalf, and I was a fool in having exposed my person to the horror
of his children. I ought to have familiarised the old De Lacey to me, and by
degrees to have discovered myself to the rest of his family, when they should
have been prepared for my approach. But I did not believe my errors to be
irretrievable, and after much consideration I resolved to return to the
cottage, seek the old man, and by my representations win him to my party. “These thoughts calmed me, and in the afternoon I sank into a profound sleep;
but the fever of my blood did not allow me to be visited by peaceful dreams.
The horrible scene of the preceding day was for ever acting before my eyes; the
females were flying and the enraged Felix tearing me from his father’s feet. I
awoke exhausted, and finding that it was already night, I crept forth from my
hiding-place, and went in search of food. “When my hunger was appeased, I directed my steps towards the well-known path
that conducted to the cottage. All there was at peace. I crept into my hovel
and remained in silent expectation of the accustomed hour when the family
arose. That hour passed, the sun mounted high in the heavens, but the cottagers
did not appear. I trembled violently, apprehending some dreadful misfortune.
The inside of the cottage was dark, and I heard no motion; I cannot describe
the agony of this suspense. “Presently two countrymen passed by, but pausing near the cottage, they entered
into conversation, using violent gesticulations; but I did not understand what
they said, as they spoke the language of the country, which differed from that
of my protectors. Soon after, however, Felix approached with another man; I was
surprised, as I knew that he had not quitted the cottage that morning, and
waited anxiously to discover from his discourse the meaning of these unusual
appearances. “‘Do you consider,’ said his companion to him, ‘that you will be obliged to pay
three months’ rent and to lose the produce of your garden? I do not wish to
take any unfair advantage, and I beg therefore that you will take some days to
consider of your determination.’ “‘It is utterly useless,’ replied Felix; ‘we can never again inhabit your
cottage. The life of my father is in the greatest danger, owing to the dreadful
circumstance that I have related. My wife and my sister will never recover from
their horror. I entreat you not to reason with me any more. Take possession of
your tenement and let me fly from this place.’ “Felix trembled violently as he said this. He and his companion entered the
cottage, in which they remained for a few minutes, and then departed. I never
saw any of the family of De Lacey more. “I continued for the remainder of the day in my hovel in a state of utter and
stupid despair. My protectors had departed and had broken the only link that
held me to the world. For the first time the feelings of revenge and hatred
filled my bosom, and I did not strive to control them, but allowing myself to
be borne away by the stream, I bent my mind towards injury and death. When I
thought of my friends, of the mild voice of De Lacey, the gentle eyes of
Agatha, and the exquisite beauty of the Arabian, these thoughts vanished and a
gush of tears somewhat soothed me. But again when I reflected that they had
spurned and deserted me, anger returned, a rage of anger, and unable to injure
anything human, I turned my fury towards inanimate objects. As night advanced,
I placed a variety of combustibles around the cottage, and after having
destroyed every vestige of cultivation in the garden, I waited with forced
impatience until the moon had sunk to commence my operations. “As the night advanced, a fierce wind arose from the woods and quickly
dispersed the clouds that had loitered in the heavens; the blast tore along
like a mighty avalanche and produced a kind of insanity in my spirits that
burst all bounds of reason and reflection. I lighted the dry branch of a tree
and danced with fury around the devoted cottage, my eyes still fixed on the
western horizon, the edge of which the moon nearly touched. A part of its orb
was at length hid, and I waved my brand; it sank, and with a loud scream I
fired the straw, and heath, and bushes, which I had collected. The wind fanned
the fire, and the cottage was quickly enveloped by the flames, which clung to
it and licked it with their forked and destroying tongues. “As soon as I was convinced that no assistance could save any part of the
habitation, I quitted the scene and sought for refuge in the woods. “And now, with the world before me, whither should I bend my steps? I resolved
to fly far from the scene of my misfortunes; but to me, hated and despised,
every country must be equally horrible. At length the thought of you crossed my
mind. I learned from your papers that you were my father, my creator; and to
whom could I apply with more fitness than to him who had given me life? Among
the lessons that Felix had bestowed upon Safie, geography had not been omitted;
I had learned from these the relative situations of the different countries of
the earth. You had mentioned Geneva as the name of your native town, and
towards this place I resolved to proceed. “But how was I to direct myself? I knew that I must travel in a southwesterly
direction to reach my destination, but the sun was my only guide. I did not
know the names of the towns that I was to pass through, nor could I ask
information from a single human being; but I did not despair. From you only
could I hope for succour, although towards you I felt no sentiment but that of
hatred. Unfeeling, heartless creator! You had endowed me with perceptions and
passions and then cast me abroad an object for the scorn and horror of mankind.
But on you only had I any claim for pity and redress, and from you I determined
to seek that justice which I vainly attempted to gain from any other being that
wore the human form. “My travels were long and the sufferings I endured intense. It was late in
autumn when I quitted the district where I had so long resided. I travelled
only at night, fearful of encountering the visage of a human being. Nature
decayed around me, and the sun became heatless; rain and snow poured around me;
mighty rivers were frozen; the surface of the earth was hard and chill, and
bare, and I found no shelter. Oh, earth! How often did I imprecate curses on
the cause of my being! The mildness of my nature had fled, and all within me
was turned to gall and bitterness. The nearer I approached to your habitation,
the more deeply did I feel the spirit of revenge enkindled in my heart. Snow
fell, and the waters were hardened, but I rested not. A few incidents now and
then directed me, and I possessed a map of the country; but I often wandered
wide from my path. The agony of my feelings allowed me no respite; no incident
occurred from which my rage and misery could not extract its food; but a
circumstance that happened when I arrived on the confines of Switzerland, when
the sun had recovered its warmth and the earth again began to look green,
confirmed in an especial manner the bitterness and horror of my feelings. “I generally rested during the day and travelled only when I was secured by
night from the view of man. One morning, however, finding that my path lay
through a deep wood, I ventured to continue my journey after the sun had risen;
the day, which was one of the first of spring, cheered even me by the
loveliness of its sunshine and the balminess of the air. I felt emotions of
gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, revive within me. Half
surprised by the novelty of these sensations, I allowed myself to be borne away
by them, and forgetting my solitude and deformity, dared to be happy. Soft
tears again bedewed my cheeks, and I even raised my humid eyes with
thankfulness towards the blessed sun, which bestowed such joy upon me. “I continued to wind among the paths of the wood, until I came to its boundary,
which was skirted by a deep and rapid river, into which many of the trees bent
their branches, now budding with the fresh spring. Here I paused, not exactly
knowing what path to pursue, when I heard the sound of voices, that induced me
to conceal myself under the shade of a cypress. I was scarcely hid when a young
girl came running towards the spot where I was concealed, laughing, as if she
ran from someone in sport. She continued her course along the precipitous sides
of the river, when suddenly her foot slipped, and she fell into the rapid
stream. I rushed from my hiding-place and with extreme labour, from the force
of the current, saved her and dragged her to shore. She was senseless, and I
endeavoured by every means in my power to restore animation, when I was
suddenly interrupted by the approach of a rustic, who was probably the person
from whom she had playfully fled. On seeing me, he darted towards me, and
tearing the girl from my arms, hastened towards the deeper parts of the wood. I
followed speedily, I hardly knew why; but when the man saw me draw near, he
aimed a gun, which he carried, at my body and fired. I sank to the ground, and
my injurer, with increased swiftness, escaped into the wood. “This was then the reward of my benevolence! I had saved a human being from
destruction, and as a recompense I now writhed under the miserable pain of a
wound which shattered the flesh and bone. The feelings of kindness and
gentleness which I had entertained but a few moments before gave place to
hellish rage and gnashing of teeth. Inflamed by pain, I vowed eternal hatred
and vengeance to all mankind. But the agony of my wound overcame me; my pulses
paused, and I fainted. “For some weeks I led a miserable life in the woods, endeavouring to cure the
wound which I had received. The ball had entered my shoulder, and I knew not
whether it had remained there or passed through; at any rate I had no means of
extracting it. My sufferings were augmented also by the oppressive sense of the
injustice and ingratitude of their infliction. My daily vows rose for revenge—a
deep and deadly revenge, such as would alone compensate for the outrages and
anguish I had endured. “After some weeks my wound healed, and I continued my journey. The labours I
endured were no longer to be alleviated by the bright sun or gentle breezes of
spring; all joy was but a mockery which insulted my desolate state and made me
feel more painfully that I was not made for the enjoyment of pleasure. “But my toils now drew near a close, and in two months from this time I reached
the environs of Geneva. “It was evening when I arrived, and I retired to a hiding-place among the
fields that surround it to meditate in what manner I should apply to you. I was
oppressed by fatigue and hunger and far too unhappy to enjoy the gentle breezes
of evening or the prospect of the sun setting behind the stupendous mountains
of Jura. “At this time a slight sleep relieved me from the pain of reflection, which was
disturbed by the approach of a beautiful child, who came running into the
recess I had chosen, with all the sportiveness of infancy. Suddenly, as I gazed
on him, an idea seized me that this little creature was unprejudiced and had
lived too short a time to have imbibed a horror of deformity. If, therefore, I
could seize him and educate him as my companion and friend, I should not be so
desolate in this peopled earth. “Urged by this impulse, I seized on the boy as he passed and drew him towards
me. As soon as he beheld my form, he placed his hands before his eyes and
uttered a shrill scream; I drew his hand forcibly from his face and said,
‘Child, what is the meaning of this? I do not intend to hurt you; listen to
me.’ “He struggled violently. ‘Let me go,’ he cried; ‘monster! Ugly wretch! You wish
to eat me and tear me to pieces. You are an ogre. Let me go, or I will tell my
papa.’ “‘Boy, you will never see your father again; you must come with me.’ “‘Hideous monster! Let me go. My papa is a syndic—he is M. Frankenstein—he will
punish you. You dare not keep me.’ “‘Frankenstein! you belong then to my enemy—to him towards whom I have sworn
eternal revenge; you shall be my first victim.’ “The child still struggled and loaded me with epithets which carried despair to
my heart; I grasped his throat to silence him, and in a moment he lay dead at
my feet. “I gazed on my victim, and my heart swelled with exultation and hellish
triumph; clapping my hands, I exclaimed, ‘I too can create desolation; my enemy
is not invulnerable; this death will carry despair to him, and a thousand other
miseries shall torment and destroy him.’ “As I fixed my eyes on the child, I saw something glittering on his breast. I
took it; it was a portrait of a most lovely woman. In spite of my malignity, it
softened and attracted me. For a few moments I gazed with delight on her dark
eyes, fringed by deep lashes, and her lovely lips; but presently my rage
returned; I remembered that I was for ever deprived of the delights that such
beautiful creatures could bestow and that she whose resemblance I contemplated
would, in regarding me, have changed that air of divine benignity to one
expressive of disgust and affright. “Can you wonder that such thoughts transported me with rage? I only wonder that
at that moment, instead of venting my sensations in exclamations and agony, I
did not rush among mankind and perish in the attempt to destroy them. “While I was overcome by these feelings, I left the spot where I had committed
the murder, and seeking a more secluded hiding-place, I entered a barn which
had appeared to me to be empty. A woman was sleeping on some straw; she was
young, not indeed so beautiful as her whose portrait I held, but of an
agreeable aspect and blooming in the loveliness of youth and health. Here, I
thought, is one of those whose joy-imparting smiles are bestowed on all but me.
And then I bent over her and whispered, ‘Awake, fairest, thy lover is near—he
who would give his life but to obtain one look of affection from thine eyes; my
beloved, awake!’ “The sleeper stirred; a thrill of terror ran through me. Should she indeed
awake, and see me, and curse me, and denounce the murderer? Thus would she
assuredly act if her darkened eyes opened and she beheld me. The thought was
madness; it stirred the fiend within me—not I, but she, shall suffer; the
murder I have committed because I am for ever robbed of all that she could give
me, she shall atone. The crime had its source in her; be hers the punishment!
Thanks to the lessons of Felix and the sanguinary laws of man, I had learned
now to work mischief. I bent over her and placed the portrait securely in one
of the folds of her dress. She moved again, and I fled. “For some days I haunted the spot where these scenes had taken place, sometimes
wishing to see you, sometimes resolved to quit the world and its miseries for
ever. At length I wandered towards these mountains, and have ranged through
their immense recesses, consumed by a burning passion which you alone can
gratify. We may not part until you have promised to comply with my requisition.
I am alone and miserable; man will not associate with me; but one as deformed
and horrible as myself would not deny herself to me. My companion must be of
the same species and have the same defects. This being you must create.”