“It is with considerable difficulty that I remember the original era of my
being; all the events of that period appear confused and indistinct. A strange
multiplicity of sensations seized me, and I saw, felt, heard, and smelt at the
same time; and it was, indeed, a long time before I learned to distinguish
between the operations of my various senses. By degrees, I remember, a stronger
light pressed upon my nerves, so that I was obliged to shut my eyes. Darkness
then came over me and troubled me, but hardly had I felt this when, by opening
my eyes, as I now suppose, the light poured in upon me again. I walked and, I
believe, descended, but I presently found a great alteration in my sensations.
Before, dark and opaque bodies had surrounded me, impervious to my touch or
sight; but I now found that I could wander on at liberty, with no obstacles
which I could not either surmount or avoid. The light became more and more
oppressive to me, and the heat wearying me as I walked, I sought a place where
I could receive shade. This was the forest near Ingolstadt; and here I lay by
the side of a brook resting from my fatigue, until I felt tormented by hunger
and thirst. This roused me from my nearly dormant state, and I ate some berries
which I found hanging on the trees or lying on the ground. I slaked my thirst
at the brook, and then lying down, was overcome by sleep. “It was dark when I awoke; I felt cold also, and half frightened, as it were,
instinctively, finding myself so desolate. Before I had quitted your apartment,
on a sensation of cold, I had covered myself with some clothes, but these were
insufficient to secure me from the dews of night. I was a poor, helpless,
miserable wretch; I knew, and could distinguish, nothing; but feeling pain
invade me on all sides, I sat down and wept. “Soon a gentle light stole over the heavens and gave me a sensation of
pleasure. I started up and beheld a radiant form rise from among the trees.
[The moon] I gazed with a kind of wonder. It moved slowly, but it enlightened
my path, and I again went out in search of berries. I was still cold when under
one of the trees I found a huge cloak, with which I covered myself, and sat
down upon the ground. No distinct ideas occupied my mind; all was confused. I
felt light, and hunger, and thirst, and darkness; innumerable sounds rang in my
ears, and on all sides various scents saluted me; the only object that I could
distinguish was the bright moon, and I fixed my eyes on that with pleasure. “Several changes of day and night passed, and the orb of night had greatly
lessened, when I began to distinguish my sensations from each other. I
gradually saw plainly the clear stream that supplied me with drink and the
trees that shaded me with their foliage. I was delighted when I first
discovered that a pleasant sound, which often saluted my ears, proceeded from
the throats of the little winged animals who had often intercepted the light
from my eyes. I began also to observe, with greater accuracy, the forms that
surrounded me and to perceive the boundaries of the radiant roof of light which
canopied me. Sometimes I tried to imitate the pleasant songs of the birds but
was unable. Sometimes I wished to express my sensations in my own mode, but the
uncouth and inarticulate sounds which broke from me frightened me into silence
again. “The moon had disappeared from the night, and again, with a lessened form,
showed itself, while I still remained in the forest. My sensations had by this
time become distinct, and my mind received every day additional ideas. My eyes
became accustomed to the light and to perceive objects in their right forms; I
distinguished the insect from the herb, and by degrees, one herb from another.
I found that the sparrow uttered none but harsh notes, whilst those of the
blackbird and thrush were sweet and enticing. “One day, when I was oppressed by cold, I found a fire which had been left by
some wandering beggars, and was overcome with delight at the warmth I
experienced from it. In my joy I thrust my hand into the live embers, but
quickly drew it out again with a cry of pain. How strange, I thought, that the
same cause should produce such opposite effects! I examined the materials of
the fire, and to my joy found it to be composed of wood. I quickly collected
some branches, but they were wet and would not burn. I was pained at this and
sat still watching the operation of the fire. The wet wood which I had placed
near the heat dried and itself became inflamed. I reflected on this, and by
touching the various branches, I discovered the cause and busied myself in
collecting a great quantity of wood, that I might dry it and have a plentiful
supply of fire. When night came on and brought sleep with it, I was in the
greatest fear lest my fire should be extinguished. I covered it carefully with
dry wood and leaves and placed wet branches upon it; and then, spreading my
cloak, I lay on the ground and sank into sleep. “It was morning when I awoke, and my first care was to visit the fire. I
uncovered it, and a gentle breeze quickly fanned it into a flame. I observed
this also and contrived a fan of branches, which roused the embers when they
were nearly extinguished. When night came again I found, with pleasure, that
the fire gave light as well as heat and that the discovery of this element was
useful to me in my food, for I found some of the offals that the travellers had
left had been roasted, and tasted much more savoury than the berries I gathered
from the trees. I tried, therefore, to dress my food in the same manner,
placing it on the live embers. I found that the berries were spoiled by this
operation, and the nuts and roots much improved. “Food, however, became scarce, and I often spent the whole day searching in
vain for a few acorns to assuage the pangs of hunger. When I found this, I
resolved to quit the place that I had hitherto inhabited, to seek for one where
the few wants I experienced would be more easily satisfied. In this emigration
I exceedingly lamented the loss of the fire which I had obtained through
accident and knew not how to reproduce it. I gave several hours to the serious
consideration of this difficulty, but I was obliged to relinquish all attempt
to supply it, and wrapping myself up in my cloak, I struck across the wood
towards the setting sun. I passed three days in these rambles and at length
discovered the open country. A great fall of snow had taken place the night
before, and the fields were of one uniform white; the appearance was
disconsolate, and I found my feet chilled by the cold damp substance that
covered the ground. “It was about seven in the morning, and I longed to obtain food and shelter; at
length I perceived a small hut, on a rising ground, which had doubtless been
built for the convenience of some shepherd. This was a new sight to me, and I
examined the structure with great curiosity. Finding the door open, I entered.
An old man sat in it, near a fire, over which he was preparing his breakfast.
He turned on hearing a noise, and perceiving me, shrieked loudly, and quitting
the hut, ran across the fields with a speed of which his debilitated form
hardly appeared capable. His appearance, different from any I had ever before
seen, and his flight somewhat surprised me. But I was enchanted by the
appearance of the hut; here the snow and rain could not penetrate; the ground
was dry; and it presented to me then as exquisite and divine a retreat as
Pandæmonium appeared to the dæmons of hell after their sufferings in the lake
of fire. I greedily devoured the remnants of the shepherd’s breakfast, which
consisted of bread, cheese, milk, and wine; the latter, however, I did not
like. Then, overcome by fatigue, I lay down among some straw and fell asleep. “It was noon when I awoke, and allured by the warmth of the sun, which shone
brightly on the white ground, I determined to recommence my travels; and,
depositing the remains of the peasant’s breakfast in a wallet I found, I
proceeded across the fields for several hours, until at sunset I arrived at a
village. How miraculous did this appear! The huts, the neater cottages, and
stately houses engaged my admiration by turns. The vegetables in the gardens,
the milk and cheese that I saw placed at the windows of some of the cottages,
allured my appetite. One of the best of these I entered, but I had hardly
placed my foot within the door before the children shrieked, and one of the
women fainted. The whole village was roused; some fled, some attacked me,
until, grievously bruised by stones and many other kinds of missile weapons, I
escaped to the open country and fearfully took refuge in a low hovel, quite
bare, and making a wretched appearance after the palaces I had beheld in the
village. This hovel however, joined a cottage of a neat and pleasant
appearance, but after my late dearly bought experience, I dared not enter it.
My place of refuge was constructed of wood, but so low that I could with
difficulty sit upright in it. No wood, however, was placed on the earth, which
formed the floor, but it was dry; and although the wind entered it by
innumerable chinks, I found it an agreeable asylum from the snow and rain. “Here, then, I retreated and lay down happy to have found a shelter, however
miserable, from the inclemency of the season, and still more from the barbarity
of man. As soon as morning dawned I crept from my kennel, that I might view the
adjacent cottage and discover if I could remain in the habitation I had found.
It was situated against the back of the cottage and surrounded on the sides
which were exposed by a pig sty and a clear pool of water. One part was open,
and by that I had crept in; but now I covered every crevice by which I might be
perceived with stones and wood, yet in such a manner that I might move them on
occasion to pass out; all the light I enjoyed came through the sty, and that
was sufficient for me. “Having thus arranged my dwelling and carpeted it with clean straw, I retired,
for I saw the figure of a man at a distance, and I remembered too well my
treatment the night before to trust myself in his power. I had first, however,
provided for my sustenance for that day by a loaf of coarse bread, which I
purloined, and a cup with which I could drink more conveniently than from my
hand of the pure water which flowed by my retreat. The floor was a little
raised, so that it was kept perfectly dry, and by its vicinity to the chimney
of the cottage it was tolerably warm. “Being thus provided, I resolved to reside in this hovel until something should
occur which might alter my determination. It was indeed a paradise compared to
the bleak forest, my former residence, the rain-dropping branches, and dank
earth. I ate my breakfast with pleasure and was about to remove a plank to
procure myself a little water when I heard a step, and looking through a small
chink, I beheld a young creature, with a pail on her head, passing before my
hovel. The girl was young and of gentle demeanour, unlike what I have since
found cottagers and farmhouse servants to be. Yet she was meanly dressed, a
coarse blue petticoat and a linen jacket being her only garb; her fair hair was
plaited but not adorned: she looked patient yet sad. I lost sight of her, and
in about a quarter of an hour she returned bearing the pail, which was now
partly filled with milk. As she walked along, seemingly incommoded by the
burden, a young man met her, whose countenance expressed a deeper despondence.
Uttering a few sounds with an air of melancholy, he took the pail from her head
and bore it to the cottage himself. She followed, and they disappeared.
Presently I saw the young man again, with some tools in his hand, cross the
field behind the cottage; and the girl was also busied, sometimes in the house
and sometimes in the yard. “On examining my dwelling, I found that one of the windows of the cottage had
formerly occupied a part of it, but the panes had been filled up with wood. In
one of these was a small and almost imperceptible chink through which the eye
could just penetrate. Through this crevice a small room was visible,
whitewashed and clean but very bare of furniture. In one corner, near a small
fire, sat an old man, leaning his head on his hands in a disconsolate attitude.
The young girl was occupied in arranging the cottage; but presently she took
something out of a drawer, which employed her hands, and she sat down beside
the old man, who, taking up an instrument, began to play and to produce sounds
sweeter than the voice of the thrush or the nightingale. It was a lovely sight,
even to me, poor wretch who had never beheld aught beautiful before. The silver
hair and benevolent countenance of the aged cottager won my reverence, while
the gentle manners of the girl enticed my love. He played a sweet mournful air
which I perceived drew tears from the eyes of his amiable companion, of which
the old man took no notice, until she sobbed audibly; he then pronounced a few
sounds, and the fair creature, leaving her work, knelt at his feet. He raised
her and smiled with such kindness and affection that I felt sensations of a
peculiar and overpowering nature; they were a mixture of pain and pleasure,
such as I had never before experienced, either from hunger or cold, warmth or
food; and I withdrew from the window, unable to bear these emotions. “Soon after this the young man returned, bearing on his shoulders a load of
wood. The girl met him at the door, helped to relieve him of his burden, and
taking some of the fuel into the cottage, placed it on the fire; then she and
the youth went apart into a nook of the cottage, and he showed her a large loaf
and a piece of cheese. She seemed pleased and went into the garden for some
roots and plants, which she placed in water, and then upon the fire. She
afterwards continued her work, whilst the young man went into the garden and
appeared busily employed in digging and pulling up roots. After he had been
employed thus about an hour, the young woman joined him and they entered the
cottage together. “The old man had, in the meantime, been pensive, but on the appearance of his
companions he assumed a more cheerful air, and they sat down to eat. The meal
was quickly dispatched. The young woman was again occupied in arranging the
cottage, the old man walked before the cottage in the sun for a few minutes,
leaning on the arm of the youth. Nothing could exceed in beauty the contrast
between these two excellent creatures. One was old, with silver hairs and a
countenance beaming with benevolence and love; the younger was slight and
graceful in his figure, and his features were moulded with the finest symmetry,
yet his eyes and attitude expressed the utmost sadness and despondency. The old
man returned to the cottage, and the youth, with tools different from those he
had used in the morning, directed his steps across the fields. “Night quickly shut in, but to my extreme wonder, I found that the cottagers
had a means of prolonging light by the use of tapers, and was delighted to find
that the setting of the sun did not put an end to the pleasure I experienced in
watching my human neighbours. In the evening the young girl and her companion
were employed in various occupations which I did not understand; and the old
man again took up the instrument which produced the divine sounds that had
enchanted me in the morning. So soon as he had finished, the youth began, not
to play, but to utter sounds that were monotonous, and neither resembling the
harmony of the old man’s instrument nor the songs of the birds; I since found
that he read aloud, but at that time I knew nothing of the science of words or
letters. “The family, after having been thus occupied for a short time, extinguished
their lights and retired, as I conjectured, to rest.”