While I agree with some of what you're saying, I disagree on some as well.  My father served 20 years in the military, I served 23+.  I grew up seeing and interacting with cultures all over the world. 

One thing that always bothered me was the "ugly" American (all colors/races/ethic backgrounds) that expected these sovereign hosts of Americans should  cater to us because we were Americans.

I feel that way here too.  You don't go to another culture in someones host country and expect to be catered to.  I hated seeing "us" do it in their country. I thought it was arrogant and disrespectful.  I enjoyed sharing our ways when invited to but didn't expect anyone to be forced to.  I obeyed all their laws and never would have considered demanding anything from them. I knew if I didn't like something about these host countries, I was free to leave. 

Respect and tolerance is taught at home by both sides, the host and the guest.  Few Americans are privileged to be raised multi-culturally