You pick up a copy of a freebee newspaper and find the ads for pandits of various sizes, shapes and descriptions.  The can help you with anything: love problems, money problems, enema problems, family argument, childless couples, business problems, jealousy, property, marriage, sexual problems, house problems, worried about loved one, husband/wife matters, rabid dogs,  snow removal, black magic, bad luck, depression, reporting in the Globe and Mail, and even market timing.