Voice - my heart goes out to you. I suffered from depression in varying degrees starting in public school which in my case was from the 1960s on when there was absolutely no discussion of mental illness. In my mid 30s I had a major breakdown which was triggered by stress & unhappiness at work. My doctor put me on Prozac, I found a fantastic therapist & through the love & support of several close friends became mentally healthy. Please don't give up on CBT - perhaps find another therapist. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!