" “If you’re a pedestrian and you know the car is going to stop, the calculus changes. You can cross with freedom.”

That's right. Just fling yourself across any street, any time you want.

Because not only with self driving cars and trucks react quicker, they'll also re-write the laws of physics enabling them to stop, instantly regardless of how fast they were going, how heavy they are etc.. 

Now, they will have to over come the little problem of where to drain the mangled and partly liquified remains of any passengers who experience this "brick wall deceleration" inside the vehicles, but I'm sure they're working on it.

Yes, imagine the freedom of being able to tell your little dickens that it is no longer necessary to have even a rudimentary sense of responsibility for one's own safety.

Tell the truth: This article wasn't meant to run until April 1 , was it?