How did it ever come to this with two sons, two brothers?  

After parenting three sons I can testify that there are definitely bumps in the road.  Times when you wonder if you should put them up against a wall or just send them packing for being disobedient and disrespectful.  Always, always worried about will they finish high school, can they make it into college, find a job.  It goes on and on - who's this new kid they brought home, is that weed I smell in one of their pickups, woa, are those empty beer cans?  Are they losing interest in whatever sports they play or even more worrisome, are they losing interest in the family, period?  It's a long haul and it took patience I never knew I had but like most of us, you meet the challenge and see it through.  We do it because it's our responsibility.  Because they're "ours."

  A bad parent needs to own it - not find excuses like this one and point blame elsewhere.