Once again, the Onion is reporting the news more accurately than anyone else.

"The important thing here is that this legislation will allow Americans—not the federal government—to decide for themselves what kind of healthcare they want and how many jobs they choose to have in order to pay for it," said House Speaker Paul Ryan.

http://www.theonion.com/article/gop-recommends-americans-set-aside-income-one-thei-55515