One more thing . . . 
What seems to always be lost on politicians is how these decisions affect the moral of the troops. What works on the street doesn't always translate well in the barracks . . . can it be made to work, maybe. But it's a given that some people in formation will be uncomfortable with the "alternative lifestyle", that doesn't make those service members bad people, just uncomfortable.
Here's the important part . . for a unit to be 100% combat effective, moral must be 100%. 65 or 80, or even 90% just isn't good enough, which means that some of the "new norms" we're accustomed to enforcing in civil society aren't necessarily going to work in the military.
We serve in uniform to ensure that a free and open society can prosper, we don't have to agree with it all . . . nor do we have to, and in some cases can we reflect the norms of society.