Malamute, I agree. It is not just owning the tool, but understanding what you can and can't do as well as having the right mindset. And yes, I have self defecated a few times. I have also found it easier to avoid a confrontation if possible. People laugh when they see you do it, but most pistol engagements are close range(7 feet or less). Which means practicing weapons presentation and firing at close range.
 You are responsible for every bullet you fire and deciding to draw your weapon and fire can see you sued, arrested or dead. But just standing there waiting to get shot is not an option either. No easy choices in life. I choose to carry, I train and more importantly, I leave folks alone. More than happy to call the cops and let them deal with situations. Unless I have no other options, my happy self is vacating the area and moving on.