Yes, those who suffer from seizures are the worst of the worst, aren't they?? You sound like a guy that I read about a while back. He hailed from central Europe and rose to power in the 1930's, had a distinct moustache, powerfully persuasive speaker, and, like you, hated those with disabilities - he actually was working hard to eradicate them when he wasn't performing medical experiments on them... I seriously hope that you get some help, you desperately need it.