Outsider, I agree that people should be treated with decency. We should be kind, or at least be respectful to each other. But in two days you have blamed a stalking victim for being stalked, and a murder victim for being murdered. It sounds like you, or someone you care about, has a bad female ex. There are a lot of bad exes out there, of both genders.  But PC-ness is irrelevant. There is nothing the girlfriend could have said or done that would mitigate her murder. Interpersonal violence is the fault of the perpetrator.