Card Tobin speaks like a pastor. I was ordained 50 years ago, and through my journey in all those years of ministry, most of which wre on active duty in the Army, I have come to realize I don't understand how anyone can demand that folks they don't know have to follow rules that have little to do with God and much more to do with the good order and neatness of the institutional church, not only in marriage and family situations, but in many other life experiences as well. Our goal is to accompany folks in openness to the Spirit as they make often difficult life choices, not to demand they follow a set of rules and dicta that impose things on them allegedly in the name of God. People are not computer programs with ITTT (if this then that). Moral choices happen in real life situations, not textbooks. In my opinion it is legitimate to question the value of rules set up by people who do not understand the life that they would apply their rules to.