But adults who insist on a 12 yr old wearing a particular item of clothing to bed will lose respect quickly. You aren't getting it. You only get respect if you've earned. Yes, the default should be that kids respect adults. But when the adults make arbitrary decisions like this one, that respect gets eaten away at. And in the case of adults who are predators, you want kids to know they do NOT have to respect them. It's not about "blind respect" which seems to be what you are insisting on - that no matter what the adult says to do, they should do it.