<<He kept repeating "Extraordinary ministers of holy communion" instead of a shorter version and she felt his clear intent was to disabuse them of any idea that they were on the same level as the priest.>>
"Extraordinary Minister" is the correct title in the official documents for any minister of the Eucharist who is not a deacon, priest or bishop, or who is not formally instituted in the Ministry of Acolyte -- all of which are reserved to men. And the intent, absolutely, is to "disabuse them of any idea that they were on the same level as the priest."
You were right: they're scared. But increasingly I suspect that although you were right, your daughter was not wrong.