It is not a humorous spin at all. I could ask you what circle are you in? I quote what the Church actually teaches as the truth. You 'clarify' your position and no doubt the position of many Catholics but in the end neither you nor those Catholics can speak with any authority except your own. 
If the pronouncements and teachings of the Catholic Church are just a form of "trash talk" then why should anybody take any notice, why should anybody even want to belong to a Church which teaches "trash"? 
I believe that you and those who think like you have your own vision of the Church, a vision that I and many like me totally reject in favour of what the Church teaches about itself. That is the impasse we are at.
We may be in a minority in the West but worldwide, who knows? It would not surprise me if the vast majority of ordinary Catholics whilst they may pay lip-service to it, in reality are not concerned at all about ecumenism or unity with non-Catholics.