Oh turn up the TV, Vince the Sham-wow guy is advertising a new product, lets listen in.

New from Sham-Wow the Alberta murder kit. Dislike your neighbor, the boss is getting under your skin, that repo guy is back at your car? Not to worry - get the shotgun out and blow them away, but only after you have first purchased the Alberta murder kit. Learn how to cover your tracks, not to leave your DNA at a crime scene, check for video surveillance and create an air-tight alibi - just like professional Mafia hit men. 

Be one of the first on your block to be included in Alberta Justice's serious charge dump. Order-takers are available at our 1-800 number now and if you are the first to order you get the special gift of how to dodge the police Reid technique on interrogation. 

$29.99 taxes extra, must be 14 or older. Call now.