And now Louis C.K.?

Tell me if this doesn't make you skeptical:

"Schachner (a fellow comedienne) claims she heard C.K. masturbating on the phone in 2003."

Never mind that, hey, come on AP editors.  It's OVER the phone, ok?  Ewww!

Seriously, long distance is about the only way a guy can fake an orgasm.

I say we drop the charges on this allegation.