Big mortgage debt, trying to have children, then having children... so much stress on a marriage! Try a different way of thinking- for odds of success in your favor. So, start working on getting pregnant. Since she is 35, get to the doctor and get in the lineup wait list for an infertility specialist -wait time is 12-24 months and the likelihood of getting pregnant at age 35, in 12 months is pretty small. Then plan on $30k minimum for fertility treatments and then plan on $50k minimum for an international adoption. And lots of stress! Organize yourselves to be able to pay all housing expenses on one salary, and buy a condo or townhouse for $350k. Have less stress, be able to afford looking after the house, have furniture, and afford the process of becoming parents.