our entire lives and when we did make bad choices, we accepted the consequences and tried not to repeat them. Some of the bad choices actually turned out to be blessings (my son at 18 years old). Other bad choices hurt my wife terribly.  She stuck by me and I like to think it was worth it for her.  I guess she'd have to answer that herself ;-).

I wish you the best and hope you work towards a future that can provide your needs.