Dennis,
I am sure that you mean well.  But, to tell you the truth, I have worked with too many women who have been the victims of abuse to be willing to laugh about this.
The theory of a "well-placed kick" might be satisfying to contemplate, but, from my experience, and from what I have read about, this is not a viable option in the vast majority of cases.  And heaven forbid if the kick go off to the side or not be strong enough.  This could be enough to further enrage the abuser and cause additional serious harm to the victim.  Also, in the cases of sexual abuse in the office, this is very rarely a viable option.  As I said, mostly satisfying to think about, but ....