LW1 - My older sister was like this too (and fits Amy's statement - she was significantly older than me).  She never called me, but got angry if I didn't call her.  Don't let my birthday come and I not call to let her say Happy Birthday! I'd never live it down! (She could care less if I forgot her birthday). Her excuse was that she was on the phone all day for work and didn't want to be on it when she got home. I was annoyed about it for years, but called dutifully once a month, at least.  Then she died suddenly. Let me tell you.....I was devastated, and so grateful that I had spoken to her just two days before.  I know it's annoying and feels insensitive (and maybe it is), but like Amy said, this is their failing, not yours. Don't allow it to rob you of the opportunity to have that relationship.  If I could have my sister back, I'd call her every day.