The kind of people who have never "gotten up to anything" are usually the kind of people that never end up getting much done. Obviously, Jake is not that kinda guy. 

And being charged with a "hit and run" for bonking into a road sign ... is bullshit. What overzealous prosecuting attorney thought that one up?   It's not like he hauled ass after driving over the neighbor kid. It was an inanimate object, and it was a long time ago. 

You people should vote for my cousin Jake. He loves your town, he's done a lot for your town, he's highly motivated and he's probably smarter than you are.