It took many years for me to heal. 30 years later I still haven't told anyone some of the details about my abuse. I'm still ashamed. Rationally I know I was a child, that there was nothing I could do. Rationally I know I should have at least turned in my rapist. I didn't think anyone would believe me. I didn't think I was worth it. I didn't want to be violated again. I didn't want to be laughed at or have total strangers judge me with their smug looks and their pious attitudes. I didn't want to face my abusers. I didn't want to give them the "power" of knowing just how much their actions hurt me. I wasn't strong enough to go public. 30 plus years later I still have secrets that I have never tell anyone. I have regrets. I know other girls were raped by the same guy who raped me. I wonder how many other girls got raped after me, how many other could have been saved if I had the guts to press charges. Statue of limitations has long passed, the hurt has healed and the memories remain.