Allow me to clarify something here that I believe is skewing your thinking on the matter of priest s marriage counselor, utilitas.  Unless a priest is professionally educated, trained, supervised and licensed as a marriage and family counselor/therapist, they are by no means to be doing marriage counseling.  Most clerics don't, really.  What IS done is a sort of spiritual guidance of helping willing couples to be consistent with Church teaching and doctrine.  If there is a priest doing anything more then that, without the proper credentials earned and posted clearly in the office, they should be reported to the state licensing board and people should avoid seeking counseling from such clerics aside from Catholic faith-specific support.  All of your arguments are built on faulty premises.  Who cares about the sexuality of the counselor as long as they know exactly what they are doing?  If you need a heart surgeon, I hope you are concerned about their skill and experience, yes?