And I thought Ronaldo's was a hair salon...
.
Hints to author;
1)Its possible no one in NA takes this "Euro-soccer/guts n glory/Death in Venice"  stuff even 10% as seriously as you.....unless its 5 AM and we have insomnia...
2)Trump bashing woven into sports stories....not working.
3)Spanish teams etc do not automatically allow  allusions to bull fighting/drinking/Hemingway and Franco...all in one article.