There is a poignant scene in the movie Hawaii where the dying queen admits to missing the relationship she had with her husband/brother that the missionaries talked her out of in order to be saved. Sometimes the highest form of charity is not assuming sin or malice in their actions. The reality of human morality, especially sexual morality, is that we make it up as we go along. Even Levites held captive in Iraq and the asexual rabbi convertede to Christ on the road to Damascus who thought the divine return was nigh. We can have charity on them too, including his Eminence, though they did not understand the pain they caused others. The mistake is trying to design a God-centered sexual morality rather than one that, like God, maximizes human well-being.