I couldn't agree more (if I understand your comment). When I read essays about sex and divine love and intimacy, I feel like shaving my head with a cheese grater.
The reason we have sex is that it feels good. It may feel good physically or emotionally, or both. Or we may just think it will feel good because we expect it to. In time it becomes a habit and we'd better be good at intimacy or it will all become a chore. If we're smart, we learn how to make love over time, and the experience changes as we do. If we expect sex to solve all our problems and make a bad relationship better, we'd be better off with a battery-powered device. 
My objection to church teaching on this subject -- which is actually teaching about morality, not sex -- is that it introduces to an already-fragile experience a load of guilt that ties people in knots instead of letting them be themselves.
I, of course, have no experience with being tied in knots....