The glacier that just split from the Antarctic is going to float down here and melt, thus cooling the planets oceans by 5-12 degrees. We assume it will be closer to 12 degrees, why? Many more glaciers the size of Delaware will also separate and slowly melt, thus cooling the ocean. We should worry about starting the next ice age! If too much ice melts too fast it will trigger the next ice age. Nobody needs that.

All we have to fix the climate is melt more glaciers at a faster rate.

As a side benefit, we could drill for oil here, there and everywhere now that the ice has melted. *fist pump*

We got options that create jobs, like towing planets away from danger. We could get Elon Musk to figure out how to tow the planet further away from the sun.

Someone pen a letter and let the EPA know that Smooth has got it all under control. Therefore this letter is to inform you that the EPA is no longer needed. Go home and don't come back. Smooth has it all worked out. Glaciers baby, glaciers.