Gee whiz, "Mommy."  

Here I've been contributing for years to Beans Café and St. Francisco Shelter, and I had no idea that all those people were spending all day talking to each other on cell phones and getting their nails done and their eyelashes extended. 

You're right. Instead of contributing to those I imagined were needy, I'm going to send my money to Ben Stevens or Charley Huggins and make sure that the CEO of BP doesn't have to want for anything. What could I have been thinking?