The person with the abusive husband needs to get out of that marriage now!  She's staying in it for the sake of the kids but she is harming them everyday by staying with this jerk!  They will never learn what a good marriage is like and they will likely learn to either be abusers or to accept abuse! Plus she is harming her health and obviously her job by living with under such stress.  I know you are not a marriage councilor Lynn but I think you should have made a much strong statement that she needs to get help regarding her marriage.