Your last sentence is very telling, and a core problem with many people's thinking, in my mind.  They are selfish jerks who want to have their cake and eat it too.

They want a system that has low taxes because they are unwilling to help others, but then they demand help when THEY need it.  Righties keep accusing lefties of demanding free stuff, but when you unpack it, it is Righties who want "free stuff".  Lefties understand that investment is required to supply social safety nets, and believe it is everyone's duty as citizens to participate in supplying that "help".  God knows even Righties need access to it frequently, as evidenced by the motivations you cite for how people on the right are voting.