In defense of Presidents not calling or writing letters to families of war dead.  I believe all Presidents have on special occasions met returning war dead or have written letters to next of kin, but it simply is not practical to do it for everyone killed in action.  Look at the number of combat deaths from past wars:  World War II, 291,557; Korea:  33,739; Vietnam: 47,434; Gulf War: 148; Afghanistan:  1,954; and Iraq: 3,836.  There were more in places like Panama, Granada, Somalia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Kosovo, Yemen and now the ambush in Niger on which everyone seems to be focusing.   It is impossible for any President to personally call or write letters to the families of all military killed in wars.  If it is not done for all it should not be done for any.  To do it on occasion in high profile situations causes hurt and resentment to families of war dead who do not get the special treatment.