Thank you Margaret.  My wife and I are long past 80 and still surviving as a couple.  When I was in the Airforce (35 years) and away quite a bit, she looked after our large family with all that that entails.  After the offspring left home to live their own lives, she keeps in touch and holds everything together even though some are far away.  She then got re-educated and worked as an RN until we retired  I'm very proud of what she accomplished as a wife, mother and nurse as well as how she carries on even though she is no longer well.  I look after her now as she looked after me through our time together.  Life shouldn't be adversarial and confrontational, as it seems to be becoming.  We should each be able to be who we are without looking down on the other.  But then that's only my opinion as one who has been around a very long time.