AnonAJ - what sorrow I feel at hearing of this exceptionally awful loss.  Out of all of the problems that we face in life, of every kind and degree, I think the loss of a child (and it seems to be the same at any age) is the most profound and gut-wrenching experience of them all.  And I marvel at the ability of women to find it in themselves to go on and parent other children, or try again (if they can) to have a child, and to always carry the memory of the one lost within their hearts, as you do.  Doing so is a testament to the capacity to love.  And, dear AAJ, that is an apt description of you.