Now that it 's been confirmed that Hugh Jackman will be hosting the 81st Annual Academy Awards , instantly upping the annual ceremony 's overall attractiveness , the Ampersand would like to offer some heartfelt advice to the first-time Oscar host .
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confirm hugh jackman host 81st annual academy awards instantly up annual ceremony overall attractiveness ampersand like offer heartfelt advice first-time oscar host
Now that it 's been confirmed that Hugh Jackman will be hosting the 81st Annual Academy Awards , instantly upping the <m> annual </m> ceremony 's overall attractiveness , the Ampersand would like to offer some heartfelt advice to the first-time Oscar host .
Now that it 's been confirmed that Hugh Jackman will be hosting the 81st Annual Academy Awards , instantly upping the <m> annual </m> ceremony 's overall attractiveness , the Ampersand would like to offer some heartfelt advice to the first-time Oscar host .
True , Jackman held his own just fine as the host of both the 2004 and 2005 Tony Awards , earning an Emmy for the former , but this is a whole new ballgame .
So without further ado , Hugh , a list of dos and don'ts when hosting the Academy Awards:
DO Keep jokes tight , snappy and to-the-point , a la Jon Stewart .
Stewart pulled off a television miracle last year when he hosted the 2007 Oscars only 11 days after the WGA writer 's strike ended , meaning that his jokes and opening speech were last-minute writes .
This did n't seem to dampen Stewart 's usual comedic flair .
Keeping a constant string of quick ( and often political ) one-liners coming at the audience , who had to keep on their toes so as not to miss anything , he made sure that the ceremonies did n't get bogged down , keeping things lively .
My personal favourite quip:
`` Oscar is 80 this year , which makes him now automatically the front-runner for the Republican nomination . ''
A `` John McCain is so old '' joke is never in bad taste !
Stewart also oozed confidence , despite lackluster reviews of his hosting job in 2006 .
DO Channel Johnny Carson .
Carson is considered the epitome of the Oscar host .
He hosted the ceremony five times and found that magical place where a joke is just biting enough , but does n't sting .
`` I see some new faces here , especially on the old ones , '' he joked in one opening speech .
See ?
Slightly scathing , but playful .
After all , the last thing you want to do is piss off your entire industry .
DO Allow yourself to get star-struck .
Even the Hollywood heavy-weights that host the Oscars are allowed to be overwhelmed by the folks the statuettes are being presented to .
While obviously a part of her act , there was something very endearing about Ellen DeGeneres pausing in her host spiel to snap a Myspace picture of her and Clint Eastwood and letting the audience know what a thrill the experience of hosting for them was .
Nothing 's going to get the audience on your side like admitting they they impress you .
DO Go Big .
Hollywood has never been about self-restraint or simplicity .
When celebrating the movie industry you 've got to be lavish .
While Jackman has a certain composed air about him and oozes class ( have you seen a picture of him in a tux ? ) he could benefit from a spectacular entrance like Whoopi Goldberg 's in 1999 ( she waltzed on stage in full Queen Elizabeth get-up ) .
It 's Hollywood : go big , baby .
DO Watch the time
Since the introduction of the play-off music that cuts award recipients off when they get too long-winded ( is there anything more embarrassing than watching an A-lister chase the microphone as its lowered into the stage in order to get that last thank-you in ? ) , the Oscars have been trimmer in recent years .
But just as dangerous as the ceremony going over is it running short .
It happened in 1959 .
Then host Jerry Lewis forced that year 's winners to dance awkwardly around the stage in order to fill the last twenty minutes of his broadcast .
Mortifying .
Avoid at all costs .
DO N'T Appropriate .
It will always be funny when Billy Crystal relives the year 's greatest films ( or rather , dodges certain death within them ) in an intricate opening montage .
He 's done it eight times already and it has yet to get old .
That being said , it 's Crystal 's thing .
Jackman will have to come up with his own trademark hosting quirk .
Might I suggest flashy , high-kicking song and dance numbers ?
DO N'T Do anything that David Letterman did .
Enough said .
DO N'T Be afraid to be abusive or controversial .
While no one ever wants to see a repeat of Michael Moore 's rant in 2001 , it 's the snippy , daring jokes and comments that are remembered , like Steve Martin 's improvistation right after the aforementioned tirade .