From: rjb@akgua.att.com
Subject: Re: When are two people married in God's eyes?
Organization: AT&T
Lines: 69

In article <Apr.23.02.55.25.1993.3117@geneva.rutgers.edu>, rjs2@po.cwru.edu (Richard J. Szanto) writes:
> In a previous article, randerso@acad1.sahs.uth.tmc.edu (Robert Anderson) says:
> 
> >I would like to get your opinions on this: when exactly does an engaged
> >couple become "married" in God's eyes?  Some say that if the two have
> >publically announced their plans to marry, have made their vows to God, and
> >are unswervingly committed to one another (I realize this is a subjective
> >qualifier) they are married/joined in God's sight.
> 
> I have discussed this with my girlfriend often.  I consider myself married,
> though legally I am not.  Neither of us have been with other people sexually,
> although we have been with each other.  We did not have sexual relations
> until we decided to marry eventually.  For financial and distance reasons,
> we will not be legally married for another year and a half.  Until then,
> I consider myself married for life in God's eyes.  I have faith that we
> have a strong relationship, and have had for over 4 years, and will be
> full of joy when we marry in a church.  First, however, we must find a
> church( we will be living in a new area when we marry, and will need to
> find a new church community).
> 
> Anyway, I feel that if two people commit to marriage before God, they are
> married and are bound by that commitment.
> 
> -- 
> 						-Rick Szanto


Rick has nailed the problem down pretty well.

As I can find no Scripture (have I missed it ?) that details
when you are married, I have to make some assumptions based
on the PRINCIPLES of Scripture.  

It seems to me that it takes 3 parties to make a marriage:
husband-to-be, wife-to-be, and God.  If you promise before
each other and God that you will convenant together to be
married, then...you are (IMO).

So why do we have the ceremonial part ?  That seems to be
there for "connectedness" in the Body of Christ.  My brothers
and sisters ought to be involved so that there can be some
accountability on both our parts.  That's part of the concept
from Hebrews about "not forsaking the assembling of yourselves
together as is the custom of some."  We need each other because
Lone Ranger Christians and Lone Ranger Marriages smack of a
self sufficiency that the I don't see in the NT.  Does anyone
see the Paul Simon "I am a rock, I am an island..." model anywhere
in Christianity. (Song lyrics show your age :-) ) ?

Further, since marriage is a legal matter/institution in the USA
and many other places, and such laws do not specifically go
crosswise to the clear teachings of Scripture, we ought to
obey them to avoid even the appearance of "evil" (I Thess 5:22)

So this would imply at least a civil ceremony before marriage,
but keep in mind we are at least doing all of this for the 
conscience of others because back to the beginning...you are
married when you and your intended promise each other and God
to be in convenant. (IMO)

What ch'all think ?

Bobby - akgua!rjb

[In some states, the kind of commitment described in Richard Szanto's
posting can create a common law marriage.  Indeed his posting itself
might go a long way towards establishing that a marriage exists,
should the issue ever end up in court.  He might want to consult a
lawyer who is familiar with common law marriage in his state.  --clh]
