I started dating someone and found out they lied about some things—what should I do?
He's lied about his past/present situations. Since time has passed, he has changed, but I still have my doubts. I have no idea if I should stay or go, but I hate this feeling. I don't trust him all too much, but yet he hasn't done anything for me not to trust him recently.
Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW
Your doubts about your dating partner need to be addressed and solved so you can fully believe him again.Otherwise how would you actually know whether he's lying to you now or not?Start the conversation with him about wanting to trust him and asking for whatever details you feel will give you confidence he is telling you the truth.If he really wants to clear your doubts then he will be willing to invest in answering your extra questions or wanting to look through his phone or whatever areas you felt were violated by him in the past.
Dia telah berbohong tentang masa lalu/keadaan saat ini. Seiring waktu berlalu, dia telah berubah, tetapi saya masih memiliki keraguan. Saya tidak tahu apakah saya harus tinggal atau pergi, tetapi saya membenci perasaan ini. Saya tidak terlalu percaya padanya, tetapi hingga saat ini dia belum melakukan apa pun yang membuat saya tidak mempercayainya.
Keraguan Anda tentang pasangan kencan Anda perlu ditangani dan diselesaikan agar Anda bisa mempercayainya sepenuhnya lagi. Jika tidak, bagaimana Anda sebenarnya tahu apakah dia berbohong kepada Anda sekarang atau tidak? Mulailah percakapan dengannya tentang ingin mempercayainya dan meminta detail apa pun yang Anda rasa akan memberi Anda keyakinan bahwa dia memberi tahu Anda kebenaran. Jika dia benar-benar ingin menghilangkan keraguan Anda, maka dia akan bersedia untuk meluangkan waktu untuk menjawab pertanyaan tambahan Anda atau ingin membiarkan Anda melihat teleponnya atau area lain yang Anda rasa telah dilanggar olehnya di masa lalu.