Me ya sa na auri wata White Girl — TAFIYA Lee
Duk lokacin da na post hotunan iyalina a kafofin watsa labarun, martani ne ko da yaushe fun. Mafi na kowa ne, "Ɗanka ne don haka da kyau!"Ko" Wane mai kyau iyali!"Sai ɗaya daga cikin sauran na kowa martani ne, "Shin, matarka farin?"Mutane tambaye ni a shows wani lokacin ma. Amsar ita ce a. Matata ne mai mix na Hungarian, Italian, kuma Yaren mutanen Poland-abin da ya fi mutane kawai yana nufin a, ta ke farin. Wannan shi ne m ga wasu, amma m ko ma m ga wasu. Ba na zaton akwai wanda ya kamata a gigice ko masanan basu ji dadin da tsakanin al'umma aure, amma har yanzu ina son magana game da dalilin da ya sa na auri waje ta "tseren.
A yanke shawara ya auri wani daga wani daban-daban kabilanci baya ba m daya a gare ni. Ban taba zauna kuma ya rubuta fitar da wani ribobi da fursunoni list. Ko da yake idan na yi, gaskiyar cewa mãtãta ta taba gani wani episode of "Martin" zai zama a cikin con category. amma gaskiya, Ban kuyi radadi akan shi, ko kuma neman shawara game da ko ya yi. Na hakikance cewa, ta kasance mace a gare ni in yi aure, ko da yake ta ba black.
Wasu ba za su taba yi la'akari da aure wani wanda ba daidai kabila kamar yadda su, don haka bari in gaya muku dalilin da ya sa na yi.
tsammanin
A gaskiya, A koyaushe ina sa ran aure a baki mace. Na sami mata dukan backgrounds kyau, amma baki 'yan mata suna ta "zabi." Amma lokacin da na isa kan kwalejin harabar a 2006, Ni ba neman matarsa ​​a duk. Na so ne in yi girma a cikin bangaskiya da kuma samun ilimi mai kyau. My farko album ya m fito, don haka ina da yalwa da sauran abubuwa da hankali a kan. Amma kamar yadda na sadu da mutanen a makaranta, a Keio mai suna Jessica gaske kama ta da hankali, kuma mun zama abokai.
Mun gudu a cikin wannan da'ira, kuma mun ƙare har shiga wannan coci, saboda haka za mu ga juna mai yawa. Kuma mafi na samu a san da ita, da karin da na kõma mata. Ta gaske ƙaunar Yesu da ta yi wannan childlike shirye su yi abin da Ya tambaye. Her tausayi ga matalauci da mutane kalubalanci ni, kuma ta na da wani m zuciya cewa amsa maganar. Over cewa shekarar farko, Ina kallonsa ta hadaya m hours ta lokaci bauta a coci. A saman duk da cewa, Ina ƙaunar kasancewa a kusa da ita. Our hira, ko tsanani ko wauta, ko da yaushe ya kwararo da sauƙi. Sabõda haka, Na ƙarshe fara tambayar kaina, "Ya Kamata Na auri wannan yarinya?"
Jessica bai kama da na sa ran ta nan gaba matar duba, amma gaskiya cewa bai hana kome ba zuwa gare ni. Ba su samu ba daidai ba ni, Na yi tunani, ta kasance m daga na farko lokacin da na sadu da ita. Kuma ina aka taba yi tsayayya da aure da wani farin girl. I just bai ganin na yi. Amma kamar yadda na girma a cikin bangaskiya da kuma zuciya ta canza, ta da zaɓin fara canza ma. My main son shi ne cewa matata zama ibada, kuma Jessica ya. Sabõda haka na wifed ta.
Kada a lokacin ya yi na ji kamar na magance. Ya ji kamar magance to kau da kai a ibada mace kawai saboda ta kabilanci. Ban taba so ya daraja ta da zaɓin ga wani matarsa ​​a kan abin da na da ake bukata a cikin wani matarsa.
Akwai kome ba dole ba daidai ba tare da ciwon da zaɓin, amma dole mu rike su da wani bude hannun. Na san mutane da suke kau da kai wani m ibada mata domin ba su dace da wasu bazuwar fĩfĩta. Wasu daga cikin fifiko gaske ba kome da yawa. Wasu daga cikin fifiko iya zama ko da wauta, don haka dole mu yi biyayya da dukan da su Littãfi.
A lokacin da kai da matarka a cikin tsakiyar rikici, fata sautin ba kome. Jiki irin da kuma zamantakewa matsayi ze bai isa a kula. Za ka so su zama ibada da kaskantar da kai. Kuma kamar yadda matata da kuma na fara tada mu na farko yaro, Ba zan iya zama mafi m mata. Ta wani ban mamaki inna da ibada tasiri a dana-ba daga abin da wani abu da ya yi tare da ita kabilanci baya. Yana da OK so abubuwa a cikin wani mata, amma dole mu yi biyayya da son zũciyõyinsu zuwa ga abin da Allah yake so a gare mu a cikin wani mata. Abin da na so da ake bukata mafi wani ibada da abokin tarayya, kuma shi ke daidai da abin da Allah ya bayar da.
CLL • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 1:50 pm • Reply
Well ce Tafiya. My husband is White and I am Black and I constantly get asked what made me choose someone outside of my race. I always reply that God made the choice for me and He did such an amazing job, better than I ever could have done on my own. Allah nagari ne! Keep doing what you do! 116! Jesus first until we’re under the earth!
Ericka • Nuwamba 17, 2013 a 8:59 ni • Reply
Thanks for the honesty Trip Lee. na yarda. You can have a preference but you have to hold it with an open hand because as a Christian your first commitment is to Christ and your spouse has to support that. Evenly yolked…
Oluwaseyi • Janairu 2, 2014 a 3:52 ni • Reply
Sauka albarka.
Maria • Janairu 10, 2015 a 8:10 pm • Reply
My daughter loves your music. A gaskiya, I must admit; I do too:). When she first introduced me to tour music along with our other favorite, LaCrae) I was just so glad for your Godly influence via your music. But I have remained somewhat alert. Wondering if your music manifested your character. Reading this I am confident that you are a Godly man. I pray many many blessings for you and your beautiful wife and adorable son. Personally speaking, and in a time where there is so much evil, ethnicity is just that. One is truly fortunate to have a wife (if you are a man) who loves Jesus and serves Him right along side of you.
AdamCraven • Janairu 26, 2017 a 10:24 ni • Reply
Amin!!! I never really understood why some people overlooked a godly woman simply because they didn’t fit into one of their preferences. I have a sister who almost put a preference before happiness. She eventually went to the wonderful word of god and prayed about it and prayed and finally she got her answer and I now 2 nieces and a great god fearing brother-in-law!! You never should put your preferences before god because every time someone they are basically spitting in god’s face and my preferences before you!!
Nahledge • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 1:52 pm • Reply
Michael • Oktoba 8, 2014 a 4:48 ni • Reply
Alexis • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 1:54 pm • Reply
Daniel Troutman • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:51 pm • Reply
Tam • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 3:36 pm • Reply
Ella • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 6:23 pm • Reply
Terrell • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 1:54 pm • Reply
Carina • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 1:54 pm • Reply
Britta • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 1:55 pm • Reply
Na yarda gaba daya! Before I met my husband I always preferred clean shaven red heads, but then I met David. He was a bald guy with a goatee long enough for me to braid! He was/is everything that God had promised me I’d find in a husband, but if I was just looking for a certain appearance I would have missed out on the best thing God had for me!
David B • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 1:56 pm • Reply
Enan • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 1:57 pm • Reply
Thank you Trip for this amazing article. To be honest with you, I was pretty surprised when I found out about your wife’s race. amma, I believe that God’s plans for our lives, don’t always match what we expect or want. Sai, this article has encouraged me to pray and get my motives right; so when the right person does come along my way, God-willing, I’m ready. Thank you again bro. Love you and your fam in Jesus. Allah ya albarkace.
Rahila • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 1:57 pm • Reply
Wow. I’m thankful for your open and honest heart on this subject, as I’m sure it’s not addressed enough! My husband and I are the same “tseren” but I can see this same controversy over silly things like someones social status (what kind of job they have), if they have children, what their past has been, regardless of wether they are in Christ or not. I know for a fact I would’ve married my husband no matter his race, status, or background. God’s love and grace covers over everything and makes it all new and beautiful. And like you said, HE knows what we need more than we do ourselves. Na gode da wannan post!!
Paul • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:00 pm • Reply
Crystal • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:01 pm • Reply
Maral • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:02 pm • Reply
I never had a preference of ethnicity. Before I was saved I had 3 serious relationships of different ethnicity and after I got saved and grew in my relationship with Christ it was all about who I am “called” to be with; who God has “ordained” a gare ni.
Michael • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:03 pm • Reply
Jarred • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:03 pm • Reply
My wife and I are white people. The Lord pushed us into adoption for our first child. In that process you can choose what you want. It’s almost like picking out a puppy. Anyway one of the choices you get to make is for race. We have no problem with any race, duk da haka, where I am from they HATE black people. So we chose not to adopt a black child because of them and the way that they would be treated when we took them back to see my grandparents. I have often wrestled with that choice. Did we do the right thing? Were we protecting our child from that hate, or were we playing God in our own lives? We are comfortable with that choice now, because it is over, but what do you think?
DeeDee • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 6:26 pm • Reply
I think and believe that you and your wife did what was best for your family. Each situation is unique and God gives us a measure of grace to navigate life’s small and large moments. a karfafa! Wanda ya san, maybe you’ll get the chance to adopt again and choose a black (or other ethnicity) child! God knew your hearts then, and he knows it even in this moment.
Cece • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 7:51 pm • Reply
I come from a family where my white parents have adopted 6 black yara. I think it’s very honest for you all to truly recognize that adopting outside your race means you have to be very intentional about allowing your child to experience their culture, and explore their blackness. If God had truly called you to pursue raising a black child, then it should not be that easy to have your family influence you out of that decision. Duk da haka, the questions need to be asked, is the decision to adopt more about me, or the child who needs a home? Can I endure all the backlash from friends and family that comes with adopting a child outside my race? Am I expecting the child to be raised in a way that forces them to give up who they are to be a member of my family? Will I leave space for my child to be able to wrestle through their identity of living between worlds? Is society set up in way that favors more the interest of me being white person to adopt over the true needs of the child? How ethical is this adoption process?
Not every story is a success story and often times those aren’t the stories being heard. I am fortunate for my experiences and my family. A da yawa hanyoyi, I have been granted with many possibilities to explore who I am with many opportunities, duk da haka, I do know that it comes with a cost and we need to leave space for that to be talked about.
Kara • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:05 pm • Reply
HAHA! “My main son shi ne cewa matata zama ibada, kuma Jessica ya. So I wifed her.” Best line in the blog. Glad God lead you to a great wife. :)
John Evangel • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:08 pm • Reply
Hi Tafiya!
I mana, I didn’t know what to say, because we’ve never discussed this before. #Awkward.
Thanks sake!
Tilda • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 6:37 pm • Reply
QuentinLawson • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:09 pm • Reply
Vini • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:12 pm • Reply
Thanks for sharing your heart Trip. We are all the same when we strip the skin. God has created each one equally and uniquely according to his special design. Allah ya albarkace ku da kuma iyalanka.
JoshHaan • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:12 pm • Reply
Nothing wrong like you said Trip about marrying someone of a different race. What matters is that who ever you or I marry that they love Jesus (Mark 12:30 HAU) and that they will love you back and that we love her like God loves the Church. God bless you Trip and your family
MichaelJ • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:13 pm • Reply
JB • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:17 pm • Reply
Virgil • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:17 pm • Reply
Nolan • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:18 pm • Reply
Thanks for the post! Really encouraged by your blog, inspired me to start my own! Thanks.
OJ • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:25 pm • Reply
arthur simuchile • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:25 pm • Reply
deidreBaker • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:29 pm • Reply
Elizabeth • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:31 pm • Reply
Jimmy Sorrells • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:32 pm • Reply
Timo • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:33 pm • Reply
Great post, tafiya!
JeffreyCravens • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:34 pm • Reply
Such a true and profound statement. My father is black, mother is white, they have been married 35 shekaru. And some rough years too but in the middle of those conflicts, “skin tone” most definitely didn’t matter. The Lord has been gracious and faithful.
tafiya, this post is refreshing bro. I’m a week away from celebrating my first year of marriage to a godly wife who challenges me daily with her compassion. She also happens to be of latin, french and hawaiian decent. So reading this has been much appreciated.
Thanks sake, Jeff.
WALTER • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:34 pm • Reply
Michelle • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:35 pm • Reply
Thank you for sharing and shedding light on this. Whether white, baki, etc you’ve touched on what is really important. The spirit of racism has hindered us for a long time in a lot of areas. I believe we are breaking through nonetheless. Allah ya albarkace ka & your growing family.
ChevyThompson • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:36 pm • Reply
similar to my story. Thanks 4 posting
Bachizzle • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:37 pm • Reply
CoriH • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:37 pm • Reply
I enjoyed reading this post Trip. I am a big fan of yours, but I like the fact that you are open about the issue of race. gaskiya, race shouldn’t matter when it comes to who we marry. The only thing that should matter is if they are a Christian, and if they are aligned with the will of God for your life. Outside of the essentials, race or skin color is just a difference in how we look. I have dated outside of my race. I am black and my ex is Korean/White. It was never an issue for us, but I remember times when we we get stares from others. It was an interesting experience, but none of the negativity (which wasn’t much) would stop me from dating someone else outside of my ethnicity or marrying them. That was never an issue with me, my family or friends. Batun shi ne, we all have our preferences, but we should focus on what God wants for our lives first. Nice to see that this conversation is positive.
Paul • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:40 pm • Reply
Twinkle • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:46 pm • Reply
I thank God that you wrote the article because as a single Christian women, I understand how important it is to be fully open to what God says, including who he allows to come in to your life and even takes out of it. I’m grateful for the statement that you made “we have to submit our desires to what God wants for us in a spouse”. This within itself helps me to close off my way of thinking and perceiving in order to focus on what God wants for me and my life. I’m black and have preferenced black men; however God is working on my heart in that area since I beginning to seek him in regards to a godly husband. Think about how many people actually choose the wrong person to marry or even miss out on who God has for them simply because of their on restrictions/preferences. Great labarin! It has truly blessed me and I’m sure so many others.
KayKay • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:48 pm • Reply
JON • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:50 pm • Reply
Gozie • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:51 pm • Reply
Ricky • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:52 pm • Reply
Daniel Troutman • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:53 pm • Reply
I think it’s cool and intelligent of you to write this post. It helps people that love doesn’t know trivial categories like race or nationality. 1 Korantiyawa 13 doesn’t say anything about race; it talks about patience, humility, and wisdom. Big ups for the great post!
Za • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 2:53 pm • Reply
dama a! This is a blessing. I’ve been asked, seen disappointed faces, and I’ve heard folks talking why/how I settled or became “whipped”. I prayed for a God-fearing woman and He sent me her. I love my wife who happens to be white (I’m black). ta & our children are my greatest blessing from God and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Thank you for your open honesty. Love does transcends all.
Major • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 3:02 pm • Reply
Great story Trip and congrats. I do wish you would have made explicit that your choice of a wife had nothing to do with something being wrong with or missing in a black woman. The story leaves a void on that area. Har ila yau,, it should be made clear that perhaps your choice of a church and a school put you in a position to be around fewer black women. Many blacks live as minorities in all areas of society and this has an effect on same race marriages. I personally would love to see black women with quality black men, but I can’t argue with what God has joined together. Best wishes to you and your family b
David • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 3:06 pm • Reply
Excellent blog. I’m going to have to use the term “wifing” yanzu. girmamawa, i mana.
Sean • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 3:07 pm • Reply
JHolla • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 3:10 pm • Reply
tafiya,
I applaud you for your willingness to share your “reasons” for marrying outside of race. My first thought, as a man married to an Asian woman, was why do you feel the need to justify this to ANYONE. I mana, mine and my wife’s’ skin tone is similar, our backgrounds and upbringing are so far from each others, anyone could say “why did you marry her?”As you mentioned, your wife, is THE wife, THE helpmate, the other (if my wife is reading, “BETTER”) half that He has provided. God brings those in our lives that we need to have, in order to challenge us to make us better. So what if someone appears different from me on the outside. kamar ka, we should all be seeking those with a God seeking heart that is the most beautiful attribute one can possess.
kesh • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 3:18 pm • Reply
Nicole • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 3:20 pm • Reply
Great job of not only expressing yourself, but doing so in a way that others will understand. When we begin to change our perspective on life in general, we will see a lot of what we “expect” has nothing to do with the will of the Father. The closer we are to him, the more and more our “expectations” change because they begin to line up with HIS will and not our own. Allah ya albarkace ku da iyali. Keep doing what you are doing my brother in Christ. Black, white or purple, color plays no role when it comes to the body of Christ uniting. I have been blessed with an amazing man of God, who happens to be my same ethnicity, but more than anything he is a man after God’s own heart which is all that matters in my book.
Andrea • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 3:22 pm • Reply
Thanks Tafiya! It’s really got me thinking about my own preferences and how at times I’ve kept an arms length from some good gents just cos I didn’t deem them attractive. Points to issues of pride. But really encouraged by the comments supporting interracial relationships. I wish my family shared these views. If I marry a black man, it won’t be easy.
Jason • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 3:38 pm • Reply
MrsHendrix • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 3:48 pm • Reply
Amin. I’m blessed by your response. Once we have a relationship with Christ, His will becomes our will and His will was for you to wife your wife lol…. (if that even makes sense). He designed her especially for you in vice-versa. She probably catches a lot of flack for marrying a “baki” dude, but the Lord knew exactly what the both of you needed. Seek Him first and all things shall be added unto you (including the right spouse).
Leilani Bailey • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 3:48 pm • Reply
Stacy • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 4:05 pm • Reply
Natalie • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 4:30 pm • Reply
Abin da mai girma labarin, and Im glad that there are people out there like you who are opening up the conversation about a subject like this and being real with it, because there always seems to be a stigma attached to interracial relationships.
I’m Chinese and my husband is black, and the struggles we’ve encountered along our journey together have been tough and a real test. We got married young just like you and your wife, na yi 21 , kuma ya kasance 24. Muna da 2 daughters together, and when Im out alone with them, I’ll get stopped in the street and strangers would be like “is the daddy black?”
LoganSharp • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 4:38 pm • Reply
Very well said. My wife is hispanic, I’m white. Race never came into the thought for me for very much what you said when you met your wife; I saw my wife’s passion for God, her desire to minister to students and we enjoyed a lot of the same movies and music and prayed for each other during dating. I don’t get why people think interracial marriages are “m”.
Natasha • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 4:39 pm • Reply
Wannan shi ne madalla! Thank you for sharing trip. God’s love has no particular preference but deliverance. Youre story was a blessing.
LeonMartinez • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 4:41 pm • Reply
Reewantae • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 5:01 pm • Reply
Wonderful article, tafiya! First time commenter here!
You are so on point when you say, “I never wanted to value my preferences for a wife over what I needed in a wife.” Wani lokaci, I feel overlooked as a female because my personality and temperament are a certain way. I’m what you might call “m” ko “different” according to many people I know. Some guys like a girl who’s a little more into mainstream fashion or someone who’s a little more social and outspoken than I am. At other times, I think that maybe I’m making myself less available by my own little discriminating ideas. Those ways aren’t based on race, but more on someone’s background or their mode of transportation… because I ride the bus to school, and I don’t appreciate it when a guy tries to flirt with me on public transportation. (The idea is that if as a man riding the bus or train, you can’t afford to get a car and drive one, you have little money or are spending it on the wrong things, and therefore have no business trying to talk sweet to me. LOL… but this is also wrong.) I’m praying that the Lord help me to stay in His will for my life, so that when the time comes for that certain someone to find the “good thing,” I’ll be ready. :)
Allah ya albarkace, bro.
Juni • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 5:25 pm • Reply
I totally agree that race should be one of those open hand preferences, but I don’t agree that it, or other ‘preferences’ are meaningless when dealing with conflict. Abin baƙin ciki, in my experience, what I felt was an open hand preference, and surrendered it in favor of the Godly man before me,became a serious source of tension in my marriage, many years later, when my husband gained alot of weight, on top of what I already considered was an overweight frame. I had always been attracted to more athletic types, so when I was faced with even more weight gain, na yarda, I was sexually turned off. That led to conflict, and the conflict made my preference become a mountain. Instead of being a simple physical preference I put aside in favor of the bigger picture of the wonderful man of God he is, the conflict we were having about me not being enthusiastic about sex, sparked feelings that I ‘gave up’ something that was tangibly important and necessary, and now was faced with having to be a dutiful and loving sexual partner to someone I could not respond to physically. Only God’s grace has brought us through thus far, amma, gaskiya, his body is still a major turn off, and I still wish I had hung on to my preference and waited for someone who fit my physical type, as well as my need for a Godly husband
Maddy • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 5:26 pm • Reply
SheilaTurner • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 5:28 pm • Reply
Eric • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 5:42 pm • Reply
Good news! She isn’t even “fari”! And you aren’t even “baki” tafiya. Those terms are bunk. Praise God we are all of the one Adamic race. Even though we are different ethnicities, we are reconciled in Christ! Amin bro. Good article. One Blood. One Son.
Jessica • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 5:49 pm • Reply
Awesome! Godiya ga rubuta wannan. You are such an encouragement, and I praise God there are godly couples like you and your wife out there. Har ila yau,, I’m sure that together, you are able to reach a lot more people than you would be able to apart. Keep reppin Jesus.
ambaci: Why He Married a White Girl by Trip Lee | 9jagirl4real
Leesa • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 6:03 pm • Reply
This was so awesome to read! Very karfafa. I myself have dealt with the disppointing and rasist comments. My husband is white and I am black. We both come from to totally diffrent worlds. I never thought I would marry outside my race. I even vainly prayed that God would seen me a black man with dreads lol. But I thank God he knew what was best for me and blessed not with just a white man but my king on earth! Since we’ve been married I have truly understood what it means to love in these earthly bodies. Not to tell all our biz but we have been struggling with fertility issues and I thank God for my husband because he has continued to encourage me. We love your music and your ministry. Allah ya albarkace ku da kuma iyalanka!
kaileybrown • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 7:27 pm • Reply
Ni fari, and my husband is black. When i introduce him most people wait until he leaves to say “he isnt what i expected!!” it used to make me mad. Like, who are you to judge my marriage. Now i just shrug and say “he wasnt what i expected either, but i know 100% that he is the one God sent to me” its nice to know your aproach. And just know your true fans know why she is your wife.
Taylor • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 7:37 pm • Reply
Wannan “martin” Comment has me rolling on the floor Laughing…but I definitely feel this entire Blog!! Man looks on the Outside and God looks at the heart. My wife often quotes that A womans heart should be so hidden in God. That a man has to seek him in Order to really Find her…
jake • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 7:51 pm • Reply
All who have been baptised into Christ have put on Christ, there is neither Jew nor Greek, Scinthian nor Barbarian. This is the truth revealed in holy writ, duk da haka, many a believer still have “unrenewed” minds that’s. Why ethnicity is still an issue. I will continue to grown in birth pangs until Christ be formed in us all.
Pamela • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 7:53 pm • Reply
Good kalma! Love the family pics. Albarkar!
Leesa • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 7:54 pm • Reply
IAMDJLADYJ • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 7:54 pm • Reply
AmandaB • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 8:05 pm • Reply
Paula • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 8:23 pm • Reply
tafiya, all i can say is excellent, words can’t express the joy in having you share with such transparency about why you married your wife, This is really going to help those see from another perspective and who maybe pursuing marriage in the future. God truly knows what’s best for us. May the lord continue bless your family!
atiya • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 8:25 pm • Reply
kyau & m….
dmoney • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 9:00 pm • Reply
tafiya, thank you for preaching the truth to the misinformed and to me personally. though i am black im always pictured myself with someone of a different race. but i God has been slowly dealing with me to be accepting of all races and that the important thing is his heart reflects that of Christ. Thats what matters the most. Plus you have the full love and support of my home church. we are full of biracial couples and mixed kids. plus i have so many mixed friends that there overrunning the country lol. im proud of you for standing up and telling the world what they need to hear :)
SP • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 9:09 pm • Reply
I enjoyed reading this post, tafiya. It hits close to home. I am also in an interracial marriage. I am black (Jamaican, Native American, the ancestry can go on) and my husband is hungarian, german, etc.—so he’s white. I always knew I wouldn’t marry a black guy and I didn’t know what race my future husband would be. So just like you, I went to college not wanting to date but to grow as a Christ-follower and get an education and I met and fell in love with a special young white male.
When we started dating, a few months in we knew we would get married some day and we did just that a few years later. I was privileged enough to grow up in a diverse area and have family members who were also in interracial relationships so, his skin color never phased me. I saw him for who he was; a godly man whose heart was full of love, humility and kindness. He looked past my skin color as well, looking at my heart and seeing me for who I am on the inside. There is no doubt that God brought us together. I couldn’t have hand-picked a better husband for myself on any given day. a, I may have had my preferences too as to what I wanted my husband to be, but truth is, God truly did give me so much more than I deserve and so much more that I never knew I even wanted.
Jeffrey • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 9:34 pm • Reply
“Akwai kome ba dole ba daidai ba tare da ciwon da zaɓin, but we have to hold them with an open hand.” Great quote in every vein of life!
MarcosJackson • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 9:46 pm • Reply
Na gode da Posting wannan! I enjoy the honesty and transparency. God bless the both of you!
Melodye • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 9:57 pm • Reply
Jason • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 10:43 pm • Reply
kangstawillz • Oktoba 31, 2013 a 11:15 pm • Reply
Lindsey • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 12:00 ni • Reply
Its so encouraging to read this. I’m white and my husband is black, and we live in a mostly hispanic neighborhood. Muna da 2 beautiful girls but as you can imagine we get alot of looks. Our own families can be pretty negative at times. But the most important thing we’ve learned is that even though there’s cultural differences (especially when it comes to raising the kids), the most important thing is to keep our hearts and desires with Jesus.
FortuneLawrence • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 1:20 ni • Reply
I have a question though. I am an African(baki) lady and I prefer white guys to black. That is mostly because I’m not so comfortable with some of the traditions in my home country. Dole ne in ce, I love black men a lot but like I said, my country has some ridiculous beliefs. Would you say I’m wrong in making such preferences?
Julia • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 1:53 ni • Reply
Daniel • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 6:27 ni • Reply
I used to use verses to discourage this kind of marriage. “Adam and Eve were most likely the same color / Samson’s dad wanted him to marry someone from the people of Israel / Isaac’s dad went to great lengths to find a wife from among ‘his people’ for Isaac, da dai sauransu…”
Tracy • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 8:05 ni • Reply
ELVISNIXON.com • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 8:17 ni • Reply
Hungarians are Magyars. Magyars are lineal descendants of Attila the Hun (hence the term HUNgarian) who are often referred to as the “Mongolian hordes” -Attila is still one of the most popular boys names in Hungary- as is Arpad- therefore they are,a zahiri, Asian.
RyonFreeman • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 8:32 ni • Reply
BrendaF • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 8:37 ni • Reply
TamaraC • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 8:41 ni • Reply
Amin! na gode! Your testimony goes all around the world… People need that. Allah ya albarkace ka!!
Keinya • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 8:44 ni • Reply
I appreciate this post so much. I am in an interracial marriage as well and my husband and I both have stories about how people who may know us and feel like they know us pretty well somehow learn of what our spouse looks like or in my case sees a pic of my kids (because they could pass for his look alone until you know they are part black then you may catch certain little features) and immediately sees they must likely don’t have a black dad and that was their expectation. Har ila yau,, my kids fluently speak another language so that really confuses people since our last name is Lawrence. There’s a story behind that too because he is of mixed race too (just not black). Duk da haka dai, I love the fact that you touched on this because for some, it’s such a huge deal and even struggle as there are some strong racial influences and pressures in our world (media, our loved ones even, abokai, da dai sauransu.). My feelings are mutual to yours and many others who commented. na gode!
Keinya • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 8:48 ni • Reply
AF, I LOVE the song “Good Thing” about your wife. It’s really beautiful and makes me think of my own relationship. Thx for great music too! :)
Logan • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 9:17 ni • Reply
Michael • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 9:37 ni • Reply
TylerDouglas • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 9:53 ni • Reply
Debbie • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 10:08 ni • Reply
I am so happy to read this and see that others share my same feelings towards marriage and “tseren”, god bless!
Jason • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 10:35 ni • Reply
1 Sama'ila 16:7…The Lord judges by the heart, so why dont we? We should make what the Lord has said our standard, not what our flesh wants/neither the standards of this world. A wannan yanayin, from a man’s perspective, the standard for a wife is Proverbs chapter 31, not skin tone/not the worldly standard of marrying inside your own “race/ethnicity.”
tabby • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 11:20 ni • Reply
Tony • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 11:31 ni • Reply
Andrew • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 1:09 pm • Reply
tafiya, thank you so much for this. I’m white, and from Cincinnati and where i grew up I was usually the only white kid on the block. My wife had completely different upbringing. she grew up in rural Nebraska as a Mexican. I can’t even begin to explain some of the stories she would tell me that her and her brothers had to grow up with because of the hate, stereotypes, and flat out ignorance of the people she grew up with.
Takudzwa • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 1:58 pm • Reply
Andrew Almond • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 2:39 pm • Reply
Wonderful post Trip. I’ve been struggling a lot recently with dating questions such as who I should date, and when, and why, and how to wait on God through all that stuff recently, and this post was very insightful. Godiya ga sharing.
Jenna • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 2:43 pm • Reply
Wonderful post! tafiya, you have a beautiful family, and I thank you for sharing your heart. Although my husband and I are both white, we grew up very differently. He is a true country boy and self-proclaimed redneck. I have always felt more comfortable around black people, even as a small child. I was never opposed to marrying a white man, but my preferences were definitely geared toward men in the hip-hop culture. People often ask us how we ended up together, and most people are shocked to find out my husband is white. He isn’t what I had envisioned for myself growing up, but he is everything I needed in a husband and father for our kids. The Lord has truly blessed me, and I can’t imagine my life any other way!
ambaci: The List | Relationship Resource Kit
RG • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 3:31 pm • Reply
No longer your heart or preference but what God has planned/willed. It’s amazing how God’s providence is revealed. I am Native American who grew up on a reservation and my husband is Mexican. We both grew up in different states yet we believed in the same Sovereign God who willed where he wanted us to serve HIM and made provision for us to meet. We now live near the reservation in my home state. I prayed (as a new Christian at the age of 8) that God would use me in my home church and I would never have known that God would grow me into a Pastor’s wife of this said church! Amma duk da haka, I’m blessed to know that this same powerful God who created the world could also use us to show other His great love and grace. To come along side my husband as his helper to share the gospel to my own people.
halfNhalf • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 3:32 pm • Reply
My husband is mexican, and I’m filipino. na sani 3 languages and learning a few more. My best friend is black and her husband is arabian. It is amazing to see a mixture of races at churches and even in groups.
matt • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 4:06 pm • Reply
One of my more embarrassing “da zaɓin” looking back was for my wife to be a Denver Broncos fan.
Alhamdu lillahi, God allowed me to grow in maturity before he brought my stunner to me.
Maria • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 4:13 pm • Reply
Aleshia Robinson • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 4:48 pm • Reply
This is hypocritical but when I see an interracial couple in public I think nothing of it EXCEPT for when I see a Black man with a non-Black girl. I don’t even flinch if its vice versa but I do know that being a Black man in this society is harder than most. I used to work in a hotel alongside Black men and while guests treated me with respect and believed I could do my job with excellence, they flipped the switch with my Black co-workers right in front of me. I could deliver towels to their room but the guests wouldn’t open the door for them. I could check guests in with ease but they were asked “Ban sani ba. Can you handle this?” I could stand outside on break without bother but the police stopped them to ask “What are you guys doing?” People judge and treat Black men differently and I haven’t figured out why. So when I see a Black man with anyone else, my first thought is “He is trying to make life easier on himself.” My second thought is “He wants his kids to have her features.” But hey, who am I to judge? (Even though I do) I will most likely marry outside my race simply because of my LOVE of adventure so like I said in the beginning, this point is just straight hypocritical. At least you married yours for the right reasons.
Lynn Burgess • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 7:06 pm • Reply
I applaud Trip & Jessica Lee. Integration of the true church of Jesus Christ and “interracial” marriage within the church is the answer to racism in our culture. There is only one race, the human race, “male and female He created them…” (Farawa 5:2a), and nowhere does scripture say to marry those of your same skin tone or eye shape.
Tiona • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 8:14 pm • Reply
Your article was encouraging to me and spot on. I will trust God to provide in all areas of my life, including my relationships. Thanks!
Grandmother • Nuwamba 1, 2013 a 10:31 pm • Reply
Many, many years ago when my oldest son was about 2, we were driving through a black section of town and he commented that all the people were black and asked why was everyone black. I tried to explain that a long time ago people thought it was better if all the white people lived in one area and all the black people lived in one area. I further said that now we know it doesn’t make any difference what color your skin is. Out of the mouth of babes……ya ce, “Yeah, the important thing is that we got skin!”
Jays_Page • Nuwamba 2, 2013 a 12:56 ni • Reply
Farawa 2:18
Misalai 12:4
Misalai 31:10-31
tendekai • Nuwamba 2, 2013 a 3:32 ni • Reply
ambaci: Asabar da Ihu-sabani: SBTS, Cutting It Straight, & Ma'aikatar Links | H.B. Charles Jr..
Kaila • Nuwamba 2, 2013 a 4:19 pm • Reply
But I also think my openness toward it is because I have always grown up in a community where it wasn’t just one race and my parents never raised me to dislike anyone because of their skin. amma, I did experience some slack my junior year when I took my best friend, who was white, to prom because my paternal grandmother isn’t fond of white people. Duk da haka, her reaction didn’t change my mind about who I should or shouldn’t date.
I never had a preference on what race I dated. amma, when my family found out I had a boyfriend and he was black, they were surprised. They were surprised because my immediate family has been living in a predominately white area for the past 10 years and they thought that would sway my relationships.
daniel • Nuwamba 2, 2013 a 4:43 pm • Reply
Kevin • Nuwamba 2, 2013 a 8:12 pm • Reply
JoeyE • Nuwamba 4, 2013 a 9:01 pm • Reply
MJ • Nuwamba 5, 2013 a 1:18 pm • Reply
STELLAR! Than you for sharing your love story. matasa, college students and young adults are in DESPERATE need of such examples! I know because I’ve been having a blast talking about sex, dating and relationships with them since 2003. Will definitely be sharing with them at https://www.facebook.com/FMUniversity.
Allah ya albarkace, tafiya!
zacharybrunotte • Nuwamba 6, 2013 a 6:19 pm • Reply
I’m a white man with a black wife. We are still in our first year, but no regrets! We have our fist child on the way and we love our little family. Like Trip Lee, I pictured myself marrying a woman of my own race (I think its just natural). But I never once questioned it or thought of it to be “dama” ko “wrong.” She is of God. Thats the only race that I look at!!
NTOBEKO • Nuwamba 7, 2013 a 2:01 ni • Reply
ugh • Nuwamba 7, 2013 a 8:51 pm • Reply
Jenn • Nuwamba 7, 2013 a 9:50 pm • Reply
ambaci: Reading Highlights: 11/01/2013 – 11/12/2013 |
Joel • Nuwamba 12, 2013 a 4:25 pm • Reply
Amin wa
Rachael • Nuwamba 27, 2013 a 4:08 pm • Reply
Tasi • Nuwamba 30, 2013 a 11:15 pm • Reply
Maurice • Disamba 6, 2013 a 2:59 pm • Reply
Abby • Disamba 9, 2013 a 2:55 pm • Reply
Abby • Disamba 9, 2013 a 2:56 pm • Reply
ambaci: Blog Casserole – 12/13/2013 :: Carey Green - podcast producer, author, speaker, entrepreneur, marriage & family coach, and passionate follower of Christ.
Livy • Disamba 17, 2013 a 9:23 pm • Reply
It’s funny. I’m white (part Hispanic, but no one would know by looking at me), and my husband is white, but he’s from the country and I’m from the city. He’s from the south, and I’m from the north. We aren’t THE SAME just because our skin tones are similar. We walk and talk and process things at different paces, and our families are really different, but we love each other, and God brought us together. Culturally, ko, it takes adjusting for both of us. Wannan, along with being equally yoked to serve the Lord, is what marriage is all about! Glad you spoke up!
Teboho Sekhosana • Janairu 13, 2014 a 5:47 ni • Reply
corina • Janairu 19, 2014 a 11:40 pm • Reply
donald • Janairu 25, 2014 a 7:17 pm • Reply
Amanda • Janairu 26, 2014 a 9:16 pm • Reply
tafiya! First and foremost, your music is beautiful and awe inspiring. I love the message you preach in each and every single song. Continue the wonderful talent God has given you! Interracial relationships and marriages are absolutely gorgeous. It shouldn’t matter what race one is, but like you said, a Godly spouse. I am Caucasian, but have been attracted to African American men my whole life. My family is very, very, very accepting of this. :) Duk da haka, I pray that God sends me the right one, who has gentlemen and godlike qualities. I yearn for a man who says they love Christ more than they love me, respectful, and sweet. This has opened my eyes though to be open to all races instead of just black. God Bless both you and Jessica!
Terrice • Janairu 29, 2014 a 11:39 ni • Reply
Wannan kuwa babban labarin… i really enjoy reading your blog. Thanks for sharing your stories and being so transparent. The Lord is using you in so many wonderful ways! Allah ya albarkace!
Schia • Janairu 29, 2014 a 9:55 pm • Reply
Wow, this article is awesome! Glory to God! tafiya, you are a really good writer as well. I felt like I was reading a romance novel or something while reading your post. Lots of smiling and “awwwwww!” LOL Thanks for being a godly influence on so many fronts.
LeisleyAbrahams • Janairu 30, 2014 a 2:41 ni • Reply
ambaci: Morning Mashup 01/31 | Kalam Batutuwa
AprilC • Maris 3, 2014 a 8:41 pm • Reply
I’m really glad that you took the time out to write this. This post is kind of random, never really thought about it (heck, I never even knew this page existed until today). Nonetheless, I’m glad you wrote it…I think the part that sparked my interest the most was the whole preference issue. I was married to a man for 5 shekaru (we have 3 children together) who didn’t want to be married anymore because in his words—I wasn’t his preference (he would often use a chocolate ice cream / vanilla ice cream analogy to attempt to prove his point–his preference was a woman with a um….”kyau” body–I’ll leave it at that). The crazy thing is he actually does Christian rap—(????). Duk da haka dai, I’m glad to see that you went about the right way—putting God’s desires above your fleshly desires…..Duk da haka dai, continue to Love your wife like Christ Loves the Church….I’ll keep you all in my prayers…..
Your College Companion • Afrilu 17, 2014 a 5:49 pm • Reply
Usually I do not read article on blogs, but I wish to say that this write-up very forced me to take a look at and do so! Your writing style has been amazed me. na gode, very nice post.
ANDRE • Agusta 31, 2014 a 1:45 pm • Reply
Yep. Same reason i married a white girl. Na gode da raba. Good read. Gracefully put. God bless you and your family brother. Praise The Lord, foreal tho.
Tgirl • Nuwamba 22, 2014 a 9:24 pm • Reply
Well, I think people are more shocked by the fact that the few GOOD BLACK men are wife-ing White women and not us MANY BLACK women. It’s sad that racial comments exist, but it just the way people feel, in especially, women- that are Black. I have double standards my boyfriend is Latino & I’m Black and that’s okay (for Black women to date outside of their race). On other hand, when I see a decent (which are very few) Black man with a White/Other woman, I be like DANG another one of our brothers gone…now that’s just speaking from the heart racism or not. shi ne abin da shi ne.
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Jeff • Disamba 4, 2014 a 10:05 ni • Reply
Hey Tafiya, thanks for the excellent and thoughtful response to a difficult question. Like you I wasn’t pursuing any wife when I met Michelle. She was available and I was available and we saw the world in the same ways. Our race is NOT the most different thing about us and our faith IS the thing that brings us unity. I only dated and had married a black women who I married more for obligation (child) and cultural expectation than mutual interest. Since I had no relationship with God aside from occasional church visits I believe I was ill prepared for marriage. While our skin color was the same we had very different values and after we separated and divorced God came into my broken heart to heal me. I am so thankful for my wife’s courage to look at my potential and not my past and love me beyond skin color. Our children and our church ministry will reflect the love of God for people from every walk of life. The point is the Kingdom as the world’s great equalizer and Jesus as Lord of all.
Jeff • Disamba 4, 2014 a 10:39 ni • Reply
Hey Tafiya, thanks for the excellent and thoughtful response to a difficult topic. Like you I wasn’t pursuing any wife when I met Michelle. She was available and I was available and we saw the world in the same ways. Our race is NOT the most different thing about us and our faith IS the thing that brings us unity. In the past I had dated and married a black women out of obligation (child) and cultural expectation (iyali) than mutual affection. Since I had no relationship with God beyond church attendance, I was ill prepared for marriage. While our skin color was the same we had very different values and after we separated and divorced God came into my broken heart to heal me.
kennedy • Disamba 18, 2014 a 2:13 ni • Reply
kennedy • Disamba 18, 2014 a 2:19 ni • Reply
Ryan • Disamba 27, 2014 a 1:43 ni • Reply
Maleshia • Janairu 8, 2015 a 11:37 pm • Reply
Yes Trip! I am a single black woman and a predominately white university and this type of conversation always comes up amongst my circle of black girlfriends. Although I have preferences for black men (I’m all for black love), I’m always open to dating outside of my ethnicity because you never know who God can use to make a difference in your life. I see people for who they are based on their personality, character, their values, and their beliefs more than anything as I’m getting to know them. Looks do matter and there are certain social contexts that may be misunderstood if the significant other was raised in a different ethnic culture, but these factors are not dealbreakers. If anything, they’ll make a relationship more interesting. Your story is such a beautiful love story that I too hope to experience someday. All in all, you can’t help who you fall in love with, regardless of if their black, fari, rawaya, Barney purple, or Ninja Turtle green. Love is universal and transcends all ethnicities. We as Christians are supposed to love all even with our differences. Sometimes your soul mate, true match, life partner, and best friend is someone who is completely opposite of who you ever imagined yourself being with. It makes me smile to hear that embrace how you were drawn to Jessica for the humble, compassionate, and God-fearing woman that she was and still is. Your union is a true testament that your shared faith in God transcends all differences. zama albarka.
Mark • Fabrairu 22, 2015 a 3:17 ni • Reply
Isaac • Afrilu 9, 2015 a 11:50 pm • Reply
jamel • Yuli 12, 2015 a 9:17 ni • Reply
cece • Satumba 24, 2015 a 3:56 pm • Reply
Ezra • Nuwamba 6, 2015 a 3:17 pm • Reply
Farawa 15:12-14
“And when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; kuma, lo, an horror of great darkness fell upon him. And he said unto Abram, Know of a surety that thy seed shall be a stranger in a land that is not theirs, and shall serve them; and they shall afflict them four hundred years; And also that nation, whom they shall serve, will I judge: and afterward shall they come out with great substance.”
Nathan Yonas • Nuwamba 26, 2015 a 1:01 pm • Reply
PK • Disamba 24, 2015 a 3:08 pm • Reply
I’m happy I found this post. I wish more people in interracial relationships expressed them9 in this manner versus having to put down other groups of people. In all honesty, the Lord has been working on my heart when it comes this subject. I used to not care at all about who someone was dating/married to racially speaking. Duk da haka, some negative encounters with interracial couples and the current anti-black woman movement left me jaded. But thank God for his grace, because He’s restoring my heart and opening my eyes to see people and marriage the correct way – even the ones that express negative attitudes towards the ethnic group I belong to.
jony marvo • Janairu 3, 2016 a 4:18 pm • Reply
Ali • Janairu 25, 2016 a 1:44 pm • Reply
Gift • Maris 5, 2016 a 1:59 pm • Reply
TheHonestTruth • Maris 27, 2016 a 1:15 pm • Reply
Eric • Mayu 2, 2016 a 12:22 pm • Reply
Brooke • Yuni 4, 2016 a 5:06 pm • Reply
By all accounts are words could be no truer, for a believer or not. I must emphasize you use toward the direct,” I never cared, gaske, what ethnicity my wife was to become, as I first choice would have seen her as black.” Like many, I have stuggled in my Faith as seeking duty in His will, but I do believe with all that is me, that He will send me the desires of my heart ( not just a personal preference) because for me, I believe that is where apart of my patience and/or Faith is developing. As I do agree with YOUR story as it is YOUR testimony, I equally hold account to waiting for what seems the impossible because it lead by a desire, a need, not just a want. To be more specific: I would physically love to be in the company of David Beckham, Chris Hemsworth, and Ben Affleck (when single), but I have no desire to marry them; not when my heart desires the beauty, ƙarfi, character, and valor of the wonderfully-created black man! Had we remained in a world free from sin, this probably would not be a much concern, but in a world were such a beautifully-made human has been degraded, humiliated, chastised, disrespected, da dai sauransu…I foresee no need not to complete my journey with him sent by Him. kuma ƙarshe, a gare ni, given today’s disconcerning examples of a black man, I want and need my son to see that what once was, (a good man like his father before he passed) can still and will be again…….
Marwa • Yuni 25, 2016 a 2:37 pm • Reply
Mary • Yuni 28, 2016 a 10:22 ni • Reply
Andrew • Agusta 18, 2016 a 1:04 pm • Reply
Marcus • Satumba 13, 2016 a 9:00 ni • Reply
Great to all of you who have married children of God. We should marry people who know how to love us and that WILL love us! This info is for daters only–not married couples; haka, if you’re married, stay married, PLEASE! If you are dating, then ask God to show who you are supposed to marry–because you don’t know sincerely! People can play nice-nice/hypocrite well for different reasons and fool you, people can be good people(but not the right one for the road that God has for you–NOT COMPATIBLE SPIRITUALLY–even 2 children of God may have 2 different roads that do not line up; remember the bible verses where I believe the disciples rebuked a man of God because he was not associated with them directly; Yesu’ answer shows that people can have acceptable missions to God, but be incompatible; then again, God told Hosea to marry a prostitute–if my memory serves me correctly). Sai, by choosing the wrong one(sometimes, a child of God can be the wrong one for you), you might miss out on blessings that might only be unlocked with the right one. You may even bring a curse to you; your kids might be sickly or some may die before you; you might not be the right parent for you child; you may be infertile or infertile for a long time; you love one another and something’s still not right; you might get someone who has fooled you(there are witches, wizards, hypocrites, violent abusers, uncaring naggers, cheaters, ascribers to open sex or LGBT lifestyles, mentally unstable people, ascribers to bestiality–who only use the family pet as a cover, atheists or agnostics–who have used religion to win you over, liars, the narcissistic or selfish, alcoholics and drugheads, conpeople and getting illegal money, pagans/satanists, lazy people, the childish–negatively speaking, i mana, verbal abusers, cursers, people who will never repent, serial kisan gillar, pedophiles/incestuous people, da dai sauransu. out there).
You ask God, because He has a plan for you and because(if you divorce for whatever reason) it’s my sincere belief that you aren’t supposed to get married again until your spouse dies(or have sex again for those who are crafty). You’re not supposed get divorced period(except for sexual unfaithfulness), but you should be without sex or marriage if you do for whatever reason. Can you honestly say that if you(if you get a HORROR of a spouse and you can’t take it–it shouldn’t happen even then, but what are most going to do) or your spouse is the reason why you get divorced that you can go without marital sex for a period that might go outside your sexual prime(this period could be several decades)?! THAT’S WHY YOU SHOULD ASK GOD WHO YOU SHOULD MARRY! It avoids sin later(because you may or may not get lucky, but He knows) and your Christian journey is maximized! What if God did not answer your marital issue(kids, kuma) prayers–letting you reap what you’ve sown for choosing to marry for personal reasons only?!
Marcus • Satumba 13, 2016 a 10:59 ni • Reply
On another issue: there are some marriages(unless you know God has signed off on them–ask Him to be sure; don’t guess) that could be asking for trouble: 1. BMWF marriages in America: we live in world of white progressive, objective racism! White racists are aggressive with racism more than any group that I’ve ever seen! And the black man is enemy number 1! They put disgusting things in your food, blacks and their kids may get filthy/germ-laced hugs and handshakes, spells/curses may be put on the man or his kids, cops profile and mistreat black men far more aggressively if a BMWF marriage is proclaimed as you are supposed to, they disown family, su “nepotize” pure white family members(kids, kuma) and discriminate against mixed members(kids) and the black man, they murmur against their “enemies”, they attack and/or kill black men, certain brother/sister relationships will become strained or inimical and almost all white brother/sister-in-laws will have no or an inimical relationship with their black counterpart, teachers subtly villify, da dai sauransu. Can you imagine possibly your kids having no/a cheap relationship with their maternal family? At Christmas: white kids get a $150 gift from this member, but your kids get $25 gift or nothing. Can you imagine if something happened to your loved one(husband or child) and wondering whether your family had something to do with it and not being able to prove it? Many of these things can be expected; but also, these couples have to deal with the things that other marriages have to deal with, kuma! Bills, domestic home/property care, family expenditures(sometimes unexpected), kids discussion(SPECIAL and requires more time than others–even encouraging your child to realize that racist whites see them as black and maintaining a balance that he/she loves both parents and all people the same respectively), jobs, spending time with your friends so that they remain your friends, da dai sauransu. There’s so much going on that makes the marriage unhappy, if God did not ordain it!
BRIAN • Disamba 28, 2016 a 6:25 ni • Reply
Joel • Janairu 2, 2017 a 4:03 pm • Reply
This is so Awesome. ina so shi. Allah ya albarkace ka.
Mbah Joel • Janairu 2, 2017 a 4:04 pm • Reply
This is so Awesome. ina so shi. Allah
JoshuaKirkland • Janairu 7, 2017 a 2:42 pm • Reply
I really admire your drive, determination, willingness, & addini. The fact that this disease you have has plagued you & really made life difficult for you is absolutely crazy! Duk da haka, you perserve & fight through all of that & continue to complete the things God ask of you. When I heard that the Unashamed Tour of 2012 was your last group tour, my mind began to wonder as to why you’re hanging it up. Once I found out that you had your fatigue disorder & that you were staring a pastoral internship, I began to understand that God had another purpose for you. When Rise was released, I was SOOOO excited! Man, I was soooooo hype! To tell you the truth, The Good Life was the 1st Christian Hip-Hop album I listened to & purchased. Ever since then, I’ve been hooked onto hip hop music that praises Jesus. Your music has been so influential in my life. I pray that you continue to fight through your struggles and impact the kingdom! #116
Blosam • Maris 8, 2017 a 3:10 pm • Reply
Achi • Mayu 7, 2017 a 5:57 pm • Reply
LaKiKI • Mayu 11, 2017 a 9:57 pm • Reply
Who are you trying to convince of your choice? Ka, or us? If you truly picked your wife, because of GOD this article would not exist. You don’t need permission. a, I am sure there were plenty of Black Godly women that were just as amazing as the woman you chose. But you didn’t want them, nor had an interest. Your desire was for your wife. This is fine. Just stop trying to justify it, as it is ridiculous and condescending.
Tiffany • Yuni 27, 2017 a 5:55 ni • Reply
What’s up Trip. This is Tee. I really enjoyed this article. Even though I’m years behind. lol. But honestly there is a reason I’m just seeing this. My husband is white and I too grew up imagining myself with a black man. But God created me to be different. Even growing up I was the cool kid on the block, known as one of the fellas. Then in college the fellas title change when they thought I was cute. But because I’m a officer that was to hard for a black man to support me on. So I got blessed at 30. 3 years strong with a beautiful little girl. I just pray the world can come together and know love has no color. Allah yabi
P.S. My Lil brother wife is Asian, married 9 shekaru. My mom calls us her melting pot of love.
CAPTJIMJIMANAMBO • Yuli 16, 2017 a 7:59 ni • Reply
Millz • Agusta 5, 2017 a 10:35 ni • Reply
My wife and I have experienced this hatred first-hand from both our cultures and even others not our own. It’s even more interesting when it is from a person who claims to be Christian or those who haven’t processed their own ignorance. When these things occur to us we see it as a blessing because we realize just how close we are to hearing God’s voice and not our own. Ya (Almasihu) at those very moments hits us with Galatians 2:20, it is then we realize the fight we may want to have isn’t ours to fight. Does it make it easier to hear that? Ba a duk, they only reveal more questions like: “Ko, I can’t fight back but what about my children? How do I protect them from the hatred they see?
There will be many obstacles I know for certain you probably have already experienced them living in the South. But you are an example of the true beauty of our God, and Lord Jesus Christ. In love and marriage this shows best, for the bible says multiple times that “For there is no respect of person with God” – Romawa 2:11
Achi • Satumba 22, 2017 a 11:55 ni • Reply
Dawnn • Satumba 22, 2017 a 3:16 pm • Reply
Trinitee Hudson • Oktoba 20, 2017 a 12:29 ni • Reply
I am encouraged by your stance in your marriage but also your ministering truth. Allah ya albarkace ku da kuma iyalanka.