There was always a pretty good chance that Charlie Sheen, if he made it through last year's haze alive, would eventually make a return to reputable advertising—meaning not just borderline-incoherent sponsored tweets. And sure enough, here he is in new commercials for DirecTV and Fiat. Both are actually pretty damn good. Of course, to be credible whatsoever, both spots had to make fun of Sheen. The DirecTV spot, from Grey in New York, does the best job of this—suggesting that a personal encounter with Sheen only happens at the end of a long slide into degradation (set in motion by the frustration of having regular cable TV). The twist ending is nice, too—instead of doing blow off some model's backside, the protagonist and Sheen wind up play-acting Platoon like a couple of schoolboys. The Fiat spot, by Doner in Detroit, is a little more obvious—as Charlie squeals and spins in his Fiat Abarth around his own mansion. Later, as he stands next to Romanian model Catrinel Menghia (who starred in Fiat's Super Bowl spot by The Richards Group), Sheen blurts out: "I love being under house arrest!" The ad, which had a shot at airing on the Super Bowl but reportedly wasn't finished in time, would be better if Sheen had ever actually been under house arrest. (He hasn't been.) Still, not a bad comeback for a guy who, by any objective measure, should probably be dead. ||||| WENN 
 
 Out-of-control Charlie Sheen is on a NEW rampage with hookers and cocaine, partying wildly since returning from New York, RadarOnline.com is reporting exclusively. And the situation is so grave that one close friend, who has known him for more than 20 years said: “Charlie Sheen is going to die this week.” 
 
 Sheen’s bender comes just days after he was hospitalized in New York, where he went bonkers while using coke, drinking heavily and partying with porn star Capri Anderson. 
 
 PHOTOS: Charlie’s Porn Star Pal Capri Anderson 
 
 VIDEO: Capri Anderson Strips 
 
 That episode ended with police called to Sheen’s hotel room and the Two and a Half Men star hospitalized for a psychological evaluation. 
 
 Now RadarOnline.com has learned things have gotten even worse for the actor since he returned to Los Angeles and the star’s handlers are gravely concerned. 
 
 PHOTOS: Charlie Sheen's Difficult Year 
 
 Sheen has been partying in LA using massive amounts of cocaine while getting together with several hookers. 
 
 Team Sheen is frantic about Charlie’s behavior and one close source said: “Charlie’s cocaine use is out of control. The situation has gotten even worse.” 
 
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 Behind the scenes, his handlers are trying to figure out what to do, RadarOnline.com learned. 
 
 Sheen wasted little time resuming his drug binge after leaving New York last week. Prostitutes have been at his house for several nights and he has used cocaine non- stop in front of them, RadarOnline.com learned. 
 
 PHOTOS: Charlie Sheen Through The Years 
 
 In New York, he hired porn star Capri Anderson for $12,000 and was so wasted at one point he was found naked, disoriented and with cocaine on his face in a restaurant bathroom. 
 
 Sheen later flipped out in his room at the Plaza hotel, and as RadarOnline.com reported exclusively, began screaming the “N” words in his cocaine-induced violent rampage that left his porn pal cowering behind a locked bathroom door. 
 
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 Amazingly, things have gotten only worse. 
 
 “It’s been a non-stop party of drugs and hookers since Charlie got home,” a source told RadarOnline.com. His handlers have no idea how to get him to stop. “He is completely out of control,” the source added. “No one can get through to him.” 
 
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 Even the hookers have been amazed at Charlie’s behavior. “He’s going crazy partying,” one source told RadarOnline.com. 
 
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– Charlie Sheen's "episode" really is over: He returns to the small screen in two commercials AdWeek dubs "great," though both of them do poke fun at the "winning" tiger-blood drinker. In the first ad, Sheen touts the fun of house arrest—when you're an actor with a huge house and a Fiat you can drive through it. Then, a DirecTV ad explains how subscribing to the service will somehow keep you from a downward spiral that culminates in an encounter with Sheen at a Turkish bath house. Watch both in the gallery, or click to see which other Chuck Lorre alum will star with Sheen in Anger Management.