Kanye West claimed today that he has a better looking butt than his wife Kim Kardashian. 
 
 In an interview this morning on Chicago rap station WGYN, the singer was asked about Kim's recent photoshoot for Paper magazine that highlighted her famous backside. His response revealed a clear annoyance about losing the spotlight to his media-savvy spouse. 
 
 “I don't understand why everyone is focusing on Kim’s booty.” he said. “Obviously I love her ass. That’s why I married her. But nobody has an ass like mine. I have one of the top three asses of all time. 
 
 "My booty is like Michelangelo level, you feel me? It's like a sculpture. It's like something that should be sitting in a museum for thousands of thousands of years. Kim? She's got a nice ass. But it's not at that level. 
 
 “The media hates me. That’s why they're ignoring my butt, and putting all their attention on Kim’s. It’s the only explanation that makes any sense.” 
 
 Shocked by West's apparent diss of his wife, host Matt Mitchell challenged his logic. 
 
 "Kanye, why does all the attention have to be on you?" he asked. "Don't you think you should be supportive of your wife's success?" 
 
 "Whatever. I guess," Kanye responded. "All I'm saying is that comparing my ass to Kim's ass is like comparing a Ferrari to a Mercedes. It's not like a Mercedes is a bad car. But it's no Ferrari." 
 
 A spokesperson for West declined to comment on the matter. Calls to Kardashian's publicist went unreturned. ||||| From the way they describe it Kanye West had a hard time keeping it in his pants at the after-party for his LA "Watch The Throne" concert with Jay-Z on Tuesday night, instead letting his fingers do the walking – all over Kim Kardashian's person. "Kanye was eating Kim up like she was a piece of cake," said an onlooker, who has a bright future in tabloids. "He was all over her - caressing her head, touching her waist." Caressing her head? Though talk of eating things and some light head work makes it sound like he was giving her some intriguing cunnilingus in the middle of a crowd it was, unfortunately, a bit more family-friendly. "I think he was dying to kiss her, but there were too many people in the room," they added. [NYDN] 
 
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 Kendall Jenner confirms she's the next one out of the Kardashian gate by appearing on the cover of Teen Prom – you've gotta start somewhere – and discussing how she handles the family's h8rs. "[My sisters tell me] not to listen to what other people say because people are mean," she says. "I just don't look at the Internet and what people say because it can bring you down." Oh, Kendall, we're not going to be mean to you – unless you turn out like the rest of your horrible klan. [Radar] 
 
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 Rooney Mara bites off and ravages the hand that first fed her by shitting all over Law And Order: SVU. "It was so awful. So stupid," she said of her early stint on the show. "Me and my boyfriend - although I [didn't] look old enough to have a boyfriend - went and beat up these fat people, and at the end of the show you find out that I used to be obese and I hate fat people. It's ridiculous. Who would ever do that? Who would beat someone up because they're fat? People are obsessed with that show. I don't get it." A dagger, a dagger through my heart! [Page Six] 
 
 From hate to love, Rooney redeems herself by talking about the finer points of merkin artistry. [SF Gate] 
 
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 Forget your morning crossword because we've got your mind boggler right here: Taylor Armstrong – who has discussed her own domestic abuse past – has recorded footage of herself watching a Texas judge beating his cerebral palsy-stricken daughter so she can post a reaction video on her website. "She filmed it for it to be released on her website to educate women about domestic violence," said an associate. "Taylor was absolutely gutted watching the video. She cried, and she got very, very angry. She saw herself in the judge's daughter, vulnerable and unable to fight back." Um, thoughts? [Radar] 
 
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 Handling the whole thing with amazing ease and grace, Giuliana Rancic's double mastectomy was a success and she's already on the mend. "G is doing really well. Her surgery lasted about four hours and the doctors were very pleased with the result," said her husband Bill. "She had a little bit of pain through the night but is feeling much better this morning and was cracking jokes." [SF Gate]
– The New York Times, it seems, has fallen prey to fake news about one of the nation's most pressing issues: Kim Kardashian's rear end. In a humorous column reflecting on the dangers of a large backside—difficulty squeezing through tight spaces, for one—Joyce Wadler quoted Kanye West as saying his own butt is far better than his wife's, the Week reports. In fact, it's "like Michelangelo level," the quote said. Thing is, West never actually made that statement; it came from an article in the Onion-esque Daily Currant, which attributed it to an interview on a nonexistent Chicago radio station, WGYN. The Times has added a correction.