I was a waitress for two years. I’ve worked a variety of jobs over the years, from pasta-maker to college teacher, but waitressing was far and away the hardest job I ever had. The hours are grueling, the physical labor is brutal, and suffice to say you learn something of human nature when required to wait on people: People will treat you like crap because they can. 
 
 This is why I was so disgusted when I read New York Times‘ “Your Money” columnist Ron Lieber’s self-indulgent, arrogant “Diner’s Journal” post on getting kicked out of Restaurant Marc Forgione in Tribeca, “Why I got Kicked Out of a Restaurant on Saturday Night.” 
 
 The short version of the story is that Forgione was yelling at a staff member in the kitchen. Apparently, this disturbed Lieber’s dining experience. So, Lieber walked into the kitchen and reprimanded the chef. Either you’ve worked in the restaurant business and get this, or you don’t. No one but the most self-entitled jerk of a customer walks into the kitchen. After some back and forth, Forgione asked Lieber to leave the restaurant. In other words, he kicked him out. 
 
 One problem with working in the restaurant business is that the customer seems particularly inclined to believe he is running the show, when, in fact, he is not. For some reason, that eating, the most intimate of activities, second only to sex, is involved leads people to engage in this type of boorish behavior. 
 
 Lieber’s whiny, unapologetic response, “I’m not sorry I spoke up,” only underscores his role as the classic jerk diner that servers hate. This is the same guy who whips out a pen and paper to calculate the tip, the same idiot who wants to know if he can take the rest of his wine home in a bag, the same fool who asks one too many questions about obscure ingredients on the menu to show off to his obviously bored-to-death date. 
 
 If you don’t want to be the next Lieber, loathed by your server and despised by the kitchen staff, here are a few easy steps to not being the idiot at table 5. 
 
 1. Eye contact. One of the most challenging things about being a waitress is how many people treat you as if you are invisible. They go the entire meal without looking at you once. The incidence of this was so widespread I began to wonder if there was some type of social meaning behind it. I could only guess that eating was intimate enough, it prompted people to feign an intimacy that wasn’t there, to shut out any intruder, especially one who’s hands were uncomfortably close to your food. Look your server in the eye. The goal of dining out is great service. Treating your server like a human being is one way to get it. 
 
 2. Respect the choreography. Assuming you are dining at something other than the International House of Pancakes, say, at a high-end restaurant where you’ll be served a series of courses, you may want to keep in mind that you are engaged in a certain type of dance here. Play your part. Order within a reasonable amount of time if you want to eat before midnight. Depending on how the house works, we often are guessing how long it’s going to take you to eat which course, and if you decide to wait until the last minute to finally order your main course, except to wait a long time for it. 
 
 3. Don’t make a mess. Don’t stick a napkin in a glass. Don’t create a teetering tower of dishes. Don’t pile a bunch of random weird scraps and papers and other gunk on your plate. You are not helping. You are sabotaging. If the server knows what he/she is doing, they are working to keep your table as cleared as possible and your weird rearrangements of random stuff on it is only making their job more difficult. Leave it. Let us get it. 
 
 4. If you don’t like something, say something. Servers want you to enjoy your meal for one reason and one reason only. It increases the likelihood you will leave a bigger tip. If you don’t like it, speak up! As soon as possible. Unless we’re a complete dumbass, we should get on that and give you something that you do like in as timely a fashion as possible. Waiting until you’re done to bellyache about how you really didn’t like this, that, or the other, or, worse yet, dinging the server, tip-wise, because you didn’t like something and never said anything about it, is a dining lose-lose. 
 
 5. The check. Here’s how to pay the check. When it comes, pick up the book, put your credit card or cash in it, and then slide it to the edge of the table, so we know it’s ready. Don’t pick it up, stare at it, and set it back down next to your plate. Don’t leave it sitting there for half an hour. When the book is returned to you, handle it. Sign the right slip. Retrieve your change. Then slide it back out again, so we now it’s done. Otherwise, we will hover, look at you inquisitively, pick it up, see it’s not ready, and put it back down again. 
 
 6. Tip 20 percent or GTFO. The majority of time I spent as a server was at a high-end restaurant. As was the case with fail diner Lieber. Seriously? If you dine at a nice spot, leave a 20-percent minimum tip or dine somewhere else. You’re getting a certain level of food, a certain quality of service, and you’re going to need to pay for that. We both know you know I’m making a few dollars an hour, and if I just spent several hours running around, making you happy, picking up your chewed up food-filled plates, and basically acting like your personal slave for the evening, I’d like to be reimbursed for it. 
 
 7. Stay out of the kitchen. That means you, Lieber. And the rest of you, too. That’s our domain. The chef is yelling at a member of the staff? Welcome to our world. Back here, you’re nothing but in our way. We’re working. If that’s not cool with you, let me come and sit on your desk while you’re writing your money column, randomly poking at your keyboard keys, and waving my hands in your face. In that case, I’m sure your column will come out great. 
 
 Update: Grub Street has more on the matter from Forgione’s point of view: “I wouldn’t take his money.” ||||| (Image Credit: Toni Christina Jenkins) 
 
 A Red Lobster waitress, who said a customer left her a receipt with a racist slur, has received the tip of a lifetime, thanks to a fundraising from online supporters. 
 
 Toni Christina Jenkins of Franklin, Tenn., said she was shocked when she saw a receipt on the table with "none" on the "Tip" line and the N-word on the "Total" line. 
 
 "I was just stunned that it happened," Jenkins, 19, said. "It's not something that you think in our generation would actually take place, so I was just blown away by it." 
 
 After posting a picture of the receipt to Facebook Sept. 10, her story sparked outrage online, prompting a California man to take action. Matthew Hanson, founder of AddictingInfo.org, heard Jenkins' story and started an online fundraiser called "Tips for Toni" that collected $10,749 in place of Jenkins' non-tip on the bill for $44.53. 
 
 "It was about sending a message to racists that Americans aren't going to tolerate that," Hanson said. "We raised $10,000 within seventy-two hours. It was really amazing." 
 
 Hanson presented the check Sept 30 to Jenkins, who was unaware of the fundraiser. 
 
 "I literally screamed. I was so confused," Jenkins said. "I was just so thankful. I felt so blessed and so honored that so many people came together on my behalf to give this to me." 
 
 Citing a company policy that prohibits employees from posting a guest receipt online, Red Lobster suspended Jenkins with pay after the story went public, but she has now resumed work. 
 
 "We are disgusted by the language used on this guest check and it has no place in our restaurant or anywhere else," a Red Lobster representative said in a statement to ABC News. "We were in constant communication with [our server] throughout this situation and have extended her a high degree of respect and caring for what happened. No one should have to endure what our employee went through." 
 
 Some online commenters have called the authenticity of the receipt into question, but Jenkins stands by her story. 
 
 "I was just trying to create awareness that racism is still taking place in this generation," Jenkins said. "For people who think it's fake, my heart goes out to them and I wish them the best." 
 
 A rash of receipts left with racist remarks have made headlines recently, from a Papa John's employee who identified a customer as "lady chinky eyes" to a CVS employee referring to an Asian woman as "Ching Chong Lee" on her receipt.
– Dining out anytime soon? True/Slant blogger (and former waitress) Susannah Breslin has a little advice on how to treat your server. Check out the full list here. A sampling: Eye contact: Too many people treat servers like they’re invisible. Don't be one of them. “Look your server in the eye. The goal of dining out is great service. Treating your server like a human being is one way to get it.” Tip: At nice spots, it’s 20%, so deal with it. “If I just spent several hours running around … and basically acting like your personal slave for the evening, I’d like to be reimbursed for it.” Speak up: If you don't like something, say so. Competent servers will deal with it because it's in their interests to keep you happy. Don’t make a mess: You may think you’re helping by piling up your scraps and dishes. "You are not helping. You are sabotaging. ... Leave it. Let us get it.” Stay out of the kitchen: Self-explanatory. Don’t be like this guy, who Breslin thinks is both "self-indulgent" and "arrogant."