After months of speculation over what Apple would call its latest sacred touch-screen device (iSlate? iTablet?), the company revealed Tuesday that it had opted to go with iPad. 
 
 Boyfriends everywhere promptly refuse to purchase it unless they could simultaneously buy some really manly products, like shaving cream and batteries. 
 
 Are You There God? It's Me, Steve Jobs. 
 
 Business Insider declared the name "terrible," with one columnist writing that he'd heard rumors of the name "but dismissed it immediately," thinking that Apple would have the foresight to predict a landslide of menstruation mockery. (Did they not see "MADtv's" iPad parody in 2007?) 
 
 Meanwhile, the blogosphere found the name debate totally absorbing -- "How will it stand up to other tablets if I pour a test tube full of blue water on it?" one Lemondrop blogger wondered -- and a heavy flow of iPad-related Twitter traffic led "iTampon" to become a top trending topic. 
 
 "Are there NO women in the Marketing or Biz Dev department of Mac?" wrote one user, speculating that "iPad" would pass muster only with a man. No women were present on Apple's panel at the San Francisco announcement. 
 
 Apple, for its part, heralded the iPad as "a magical and revolutionary device" on its Web site, and did not return a phone call for comment. 
 
 This is not the first time that a widely anticipated product launch was met with ridicule. Nintendo's Wii was referred to as "Wee" by disparaging gamers who could not get stoked about a console that sounded like a potty-training term. The Wii went on to break retail records, selling 600,000 units in its first eight days. 
 
 However, Apple has yet to address what women everywhere anticipate will obviously be the iPad's biggest problem: You can't use one while swimming. ||||| No One Knows What Apple Will Do Now 
 
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 As the news of Steve Jobs' death begins to settle in, many are starting to turn their heads and peek at what Apple's future (both immediate and distant) might look like. The consensus: like a TV! Yet others have a different opinion: not like a TV! And while those are both reasonable points, nobody can say for certain how the next few years of the Tim Cook–helmed company will go down. But since the inevitable chatter concerning Apple's life after Steve Jobs has already begun, let's check out a sampling of what people are saying. 
 
 The New York Times:The paper whose homepage always seems to be featured on Apple products in commercials is with Team TV. "The next big challenge for Apple, after the death of Mr. Jobs, is likely to be in that area," an assertion that was gleefully corroborated by a number of Industry Insiders. Jobs, wisdom has it, was lukewarm when it came to doubling down on a TV, but the company's eager to jump in before it's too late. 
 
 The New York Post: "Apple’s next breakthrough project, believed to have been the last on the plate of Steve Jobs and his design team, is expected to be an advanced television set," the Post reports, even going so far as to name the supposed product: "iTV is just around the corner." And, sure, the name seems like a safe assumption now, but how many people do you see on the subway reading an iSlate? 
 
 PBS Nightly Business Report: Erika Miller alludes to recent patents to demonstrate how the smart bet is that Apple will "reinvent television to become more interactive." But! What about "a mobile device with a projector and gadgets that recognize individual voices" instead? Possibly, she says! 
 
 Newsweek/Daily Beast: "Boring," Dan Lyons writes. "That’s a word that didn’t get associated with Apple much during the Reign of Steve." But it will now. "Same for words like safe, and sensible." 
 
 The Wall Street Journal: The paper argues that the most important part of the gameplan is to "avoid culture shock" — so maintain any and all residual Jobs vibes left in the air and worry about product development, talking TVs later. 
 
 New Atlantic Ventures: John Backus, writing in Huffington Post, has no idea what Apple will focus on next but definitely sees a teaching moment in all this.
– The name of Apple’s new tablet is already inspiring jokes, eye-rolling, and fretting among the business class, reminding many of a certain, umm, feminine product. Business Insider immediately declared the name “terrible,” and the Internet soon filled with snark. “How will it stand up to other tablets if I pour a test tube full of blue water on it?” asked one blogger. “Are there NO women in the Marketing or Biz Dev department of Mac?” wondered one user, and indeed, no women were present at the tablet’s unveiling, the Washington Post notes. MadTV even coined the term iPad in a 2007 parody about—you guessed it—an Apple brand maxi pad (see story). Then again, people bought something called the “Wii” in droves, so maybe all bets are off.