Dallas Swonger wants the world to just know one thing. 
 
 “I didn’t piss in the fucking water,” he says, pulling a drag off a Newport cigarette. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Dallas Swonger 
 
 The Portland teen is in the hot seat after surveillance video supposedly captured him taking a leak in a city reservoir early Wednesday morning, prompting officials to flush 38 million gallons of drinking water down the drain. 
 
 For those more visually inclined, that’s enough H20 to fill about 57 Olympic-size swimming pools. Or 304 million tallboy cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon. 
 
 “Yeah, it’s fucking retarded dude,” Swonger says. 
 
 In an exclusive, expletive-filled interview with Vocativ outside his mother’s home Thursday, the 18-year-old insisted that his piss never trickled into Portland’s drinking supply. He also lamented the looming reality that this story will make him a national (and international) laughing stock. 
 
 “Everybody thinks it’s funny and a joke and I’m going to be on the news,” he says, flicking the cigarette butt into a nearby bush. “It’s no fuckin’ joke, dude. I don’t want people thinkin’ that Dallas is a dumb ass because he pissed in the fuckin’ water. In our drinking water. Yeah, that’s fucking awesome. I mean, wouldn’t you be pissed about that?” 
 
 The night that launched the whiz-seen-round-the-world had started off on a more feel-good note for Swonger. He says he had moved back to town that very day from St. Helens, which is 30 miles north of Portland, where he had been living with his dad. Eager to shred with some friends, he and two buddies went to skateboard at Mount Tabor Park after hours, which is home to three of the city’s five uncovered drinking water reservoirs – and a handful of excellent hill runs. After bombing down the park’s western slope, nature began to call Swonger. It was around 1 a.m. and the three friends, along with two other people they met in the park, were near one of the reservoirs. 
 
 “I was like, ‘Dudes I have to piss so bad,’” he says. “So I just went over to the wall [of the reservoir].” 
 
 “I leaned up against the wall and pissed on it,” he says. “Right there on the wall, dude. I don’t know else how to describe it.” 
 
 Water Bureau officials, however, insist Swonger took a leek in the drink. “When you see the video, he’s leaning right up because he has to get his little wee wee right up to the iron bars,” bureau administrator Davd Shaff told the Oregonian. “There’s really no doubt what he’s doing.” 
 
 Water Bureau security and Portland Police officers later stopped Swonger and his two friends, identified as Trey McDaniel and Daniel McDonald, and cited all three with trespassing. Swonger was also cited for public urination. 
 
 While human pee is not a health hazard – and scores of animals piss, shit and die in Mount Tabor’s reservoirs every year – the city says it will dump a total of 38 million gallons of water, even though test results on Thursday showed no signs of water contamination. 
 
 “Like, how they can do that?” says Swonger. “How can they be like, ‘Yeah, we’re gonna flush all that water.’ Dude, I’ve seen dead birds in there. During the summer time I’ve see hella dead animals in there. Like dead squirrels and shit. I mean, really, dude?” 
 
 Yes, really. In 2011, city officials flushed 7.8 million gallons of reservoir water from Mount Tabor after another man decided to unzip and rip. The Water Bureau also says that it intends to pursue additional charges against Swonger. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Mount Tabor Reservoir: The city is flushing 38 million gallons of drinking water down the drain because it says Dallas peed in the open reservoir. REUTERS/Steve Dipaola 
 
 The whole ordeal has Swonger pretty rattled. “Dallas is really bummed out about all of it,” says his skateboard buddy McDonald, who we reached by phone on Thursday. “He’s a really good guy at heart. He just doesn’t make the best decisions. Honestly, he has the potential to do really good.” 
 
 As Swonger stood outside his family’s yellow, single-story house talking to a reporter, his mother suddenly opened the front door. “Dallas, don’t do anything stupid,” she says, ushering him indoors. She adds: “I’m sorry, he just graduated from high school. He’s trying to get his stuff together.” 
 
 Swonger stops at the front door and turns around. “Sorry, dude,” he says. “I don’t know, dude. I don’t know what’s going on.” ||||| Update: Kavanaugh and Vocativ are now reporting that the paperwork on this case lists an incorrect last name for the man accused of urinating in the reservoir. His name is Dallas Swonger. 
 
 
 
 Dallas Delynn says he didn’t urinate in Portland’s drinking supply, but rather on a wall next to it. 
 
 The 18-year-old caught on video hanging around the Mt. Tabor Reservoir system early Wednesday morning has granted his first interview to the online news magazine Vocativ. 
 
 In the free-flowing, profanity-laced conversation with former Oregonian reporter Shane Dixon Kavanaugh, Delynn said he did not urinate in the water: 
 
 “Everybody thinks it’s funny and a joke and I’m going to be on the news,” he says, flicking the cigarette butt into a nearby bush. “It’s no … joke, dude. I don’t want people thinkin’ that Dallas is dumb ass because he pissed in the … water. In our drinking water. Yeah, that’s … awesome. I mean, wouldn’t you be pissed about that?” 
 
 Instead, Delynn said he urinated on the wall next to Reservoir 5. 
 
 Delynn and two friends were given written citations for trespassing – Delynn also was written up for urinating somewhere other than a park bathroom – and barred from Mt. Tabor for 30 days. Portland Water Bureau officials are working with the Multnomah County District Attorney to determine whether there are criminal charges to be filed. 
 
 
 
 Delynn also told Kavanaugh he thinks it's silly to flush 38 million gallons of water: 
 
 "Like, how they can do that?” says Delynn. “How can they be like, ‘Yeah, we’re gonna flush all that water.’ Dude, I’ve seen dead birds in there. During the summer time I’ve see hella dead animals in there. ... I mean, really, dude?” ||||| Portland doesn't flush reservoir water after urine incident 
 
 PORTLAND – The City of Portland has decided not to completely flush millions of gallons of drinking water down the drain after a teenager allegedly urinated in it. At least, they won’t flush it for now. 
 
 City officials said Wednesday that about 35-36 million gallons of water from Mount Tabor’s Reservoir 5 has been completely moved to another reservoir in Mount Tabor Park. It will remain there as part of an experiment to see if the city’s reservoirs can be used as water features after they are phased out of use in 2015. 
 
 Portland made national headlines on April 16 when it announced it would flush 38 million gallon of drinking water into the sewers after a teen was spotted on a security camera apparently urinating in the reservoir. Tests of the water for contamination later came back negative. 
 
 More: City flushes $175K down the drain 
 
 In an interview with Vocativ, accused “urinator” Dallas Swonger, 18, said he did not actually go in the reservoir and that the issue seems ridiculous, since he had often observed dead animals floating in the water. 
 
 The decision was made April 21, as originally reported in The Oregonian, to stop expelling the water into the sewer system and move it instead to Reservoir 5, on the east side of the park, which has sat empty since 2010. 
 
 "We've decided to keep it there to see how long we can keep it clear,” said Water Bureau Spokeswoman Jaymee Cuti on Wednesday. 
 
 Cuti said that neighbors have expressed a desire to keep the 100-year-old reservoirs as water features or ponds after they are decommissioned. The city’s plan is to observe the water to see how long it can remain free of algae and other growth as a stagnant pool. 
 
 Portland built new holding facilities at Kelly and Powell buttes after the federal government mandated it replace its open reservoir system with covered tanks. 
 
 More: Portland to cover reservoirs 
 
 Cuti could not say what would happen next with the water now in Reservoir 6. 
 
 “Right now, we are just waiting to see how long it will stay clear,” Cuti said. 
 
 Reservoir 5 on the other hand, has been refilled and is back online, according to Cuti. 
 
 In the meantime, work to disconnect all reservoirs from the city's water supply should start later this year.
– The Portland teen accused of peeing in a city reservoir on Wednesday insists he didn't do it—in a relatively NSFW defense. "Yeah, it's f---ing retarded, dude," 18-year-old Dallas Swonger tells Vocativ in what the site calls an "expletive-filled interview" given as Swonger smoked a Newport cigarette. "I didn't piss in the f---ing water." He explains that he did urinate, after a night of skateboarding at Mount Tabor Park, but he did so against the wall of the reservoir, not into the reservoir. "I was like, 'Dudes I have to piss so bad.' So I just went over to the wall. I leaned up against the wall and pissed on it. Right there on the wall, dude. I don’t know else how to describe it." Officials beg to differ (a Water Bureau official got very specific about it, saying that surveillance video showed Swonger making sure "to get his little wee wee right up to the iron bars"), and thus decided to dump 38 million gallons of water, but Swonger notes that even if his urine had made it into the water, he doesn't see what the big deal is. "Dude, I’ve seen dead birds in there. During the summer time I've see hella dead animals in there. Like dead squirrels and s---. I mean, really, dude?" Vocativ also got amusing quotes from Swonger's mom ("I’m sorry, he just graduated from high school. He’s trying to get his stuff together") and one of the friends skateboarding with him that night ("He just doesn’t make the best decisions. Honestly, he has the potential to do really good"). Possible criminal charges are still pending, the Oregonian notes. The paper also reports that the water tested clean of urine-related toxins, but all 38 million gallons will still be dumped.