Responding to domestic violence and spiritual abuse
The victims and survivors of domestic violence and spiritual abuse frequently turn first to spiritual leaders and lay congregation members for refuge. Members of faith communities need to acquire the proper training to respond in an appropriate and effective manner. According to national statistics, one in every four women will experience some tactic of emotional, physical, psychological, sexual, or spiritual abuse from a male intimate partner in her lifetime. The victims and survivors will frequently turn first to spiritual leaders and lay congregation members when seeking refuge. Often times, however, these key individuals in the life of the women are ill prepared to respond in an appropriate and effective manner. Here are a few practical steps to encourage members of faith communities to consider. First, make the safety of a victim survivor and her children top priority. This is a vital first step. Often spiritual leaders and congregation members express the desire to "save a marriage" and "keep a family together." These goals, however, should only be considered after a perpetrator has gone through an offender specific program, after there is reasonable certainty that his abusive behavior has completely stopped, and only if the victim survivor wishes to continue in the relationship. Second, hold the abuser accountable. A perpetrator of domestic violence rarely takes responsibility for the destruction he causes. Instead he will blame alcohol and other drugs, children, job stresses, mood swings, Satan, and, especially, the very woman he is violating. Language: en