When You Accept Me for Me: The Relational Benefits of Intrinsic Affirmations From One’s Relationship Partner
Research suggests that not all affirmations of self-worth are created equal—affirming intrinsic aspects of the self (i.e., a person’s stable, intrinsic qualities) leads to better outcomes for the individual compared to affirming extrinsic aspects (i.e., a person’s deeds and accomplishments). Extending this research to the domain of romantic relationships, the current research compared the relational benefits of recalling intrinsic versus extrinsic affirmations from a romantic partner among people high versus low in baseline relationship satisfaction. Across three experiments, as predicted, people low but not high in baseline satisfaction reported higher relationship quality and more pro-relationship responses after recalling a time of intrinsic compared to extrinsic affirmation from a romantic partner. Together, these experiments suggest that affirmations from relationship partners may be important for enhancing relationships, but only if they emphasize intrinsic qualities of the self.