Some memorable lectures
The Chairman welcomes you to the plenary session and extols the quality of the speakers he has selected; among these are three Americans from top universities and a Nobel Laureate to close the programme. He then introduces the first speaker, Professor X from Harvard (or Yale). The professor starts by dropping the names of the top scientists he has previously worked with, and what an honour it is to be invited to speak at this exciting and rewarding conference. He then jumps straight onto his bandwagon. How he discovered the ‘citrulline-carnitine’ cycle in the eighties; its vital importance for the survival of the Inuit in Lapland (although they do not realize it). He embroiders the cycle and adds some finishing touches. He struts his stuff through the lecture like a peacock. But his thoughts do come out crystal clear sweeping away some mental cobwebs, so perhaps the applause he gets at the end is deserved. He does not stay for the rest of this exciting meeting but stumps off to catch a plane to give, no doubt, the same lecture at another exciting conference somewhere else.

The second speaker is from Osaka (or …