Washington (CNN) In a new essay for Vanity Fair, Monica Lewinsky said the #MeToo movement has forced her to confront the power dynamics of her 1990s affair with then-President Bill Clinton.

"I am in awe of the sheer courage of the women who have stood up and begun to confront entrenched beliefs and institutions. But as for me, my history, and how I fit in personally? I'm sorry to say I don't have a definitive answer yet on the meaning of all of the events that led to the 1998 investigation; I am unpacking and reprocessing what happened to me," Lewinsky wrote in a piece published Sunday.

Lewinsky's affair with Clinton was made public during the 1998 investigation conducted by independent counsel Ken Starr. The affair led to Clinton's eventual impeachment for lying under oath about the relationship, among other statements. Clinton was later acquitted.

Lewinsky, who disclosed that she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of the ordeal, said the #MeToo movement began to change her mind about the affair and the subsequent investigation.

She acknowledged that her past descriptions of the affair, which emphasized that the relationship was consensual, didn't address the dynamics of consent -- namely that Lewinsky was a White House intern in her early 20s and Clinton was one of the most powerful men in the world.

Read More</s>Twenty years ago, Monica Lewinsky became a household name — for all the wrong reasons.

In a new essay for Vanity Fair reflecting on her relationship with then-President Bill Clinton — and everything that followed from it — Lewinsky wrote these two striking paragraphs:

“Just four years ago, in an essay for this magazine, I wrote the following: “Sure, my boss took advantage of me, but I will always remain firm on this point: it was a consensual relationship. Any ‘abuse’ came in the aftermath, when I was made a scapegoat in order to protect his powerful position.” I now see how problematic it was that the two of us even got to a place where there was a question of consent. Instead, the road that led there was littered with inappropriate abuse of authority, station, and privilege. (Full stop.)

“Now, at 44, I’m beginning (just beginning) to consider the implications of the power differentials that were so vast between a president and a White House intern. I’m beginning to entertain the notion that in such a circumstance the idea of consent might well be rendered moot. (Although power imbalances—and the ability to abuse them—do exist even when the sex has been consensual.)”

Lewinsky’s willingness to re-examine her conclusions about what her relationship with the president meant — particularly amid the ongoing #metoo movement — should occasion a broader conversation in American politics about Clinton and how his affair with Lewinsky is viewed by all of us.

In her essay, Lewinsky rightly notes that 1998 was, in retrospect, a turning point — and not in a good way — for American politics. Smartly, Lewinsky writes:

“Both clinically and observationally, something fundamental changed in our society in 1998, and it is changing again as we enter the second year of the Trump presidency in a post-Cosby-Ailes-O’Reilly-Weinstein-Spacey-Whoever-Is-Next world. The Starr investigation and the subsequent impeachment trial of Bill Clinton amounted to a crisis that Americans arguably endured collectively—some of us, obviously, more than others. It was a shambolic morass of a scandal that dragged on for 13 months, and many politicians and citizens became collateral damage—along with the nation’s capacity for mercy, measure, and perspective.”

Within weeks of the allegations about Clinton’s affair with a White House intern named “Monica Lewinsky” — the story was first hinted at by the Drudge Report in January 1998 — reactions to the news began to sort themselves into partisan camps.

That hardening only worsened that fall when independent counsel Kenneth Starr, initially charged with looking into the Whitewater real estate deal, released his findings about the intimate details of Clinton and Lewinsky’s relationship and outlined the case for Clinton’s impeachment. (Lewinsky opens her Vanity Fair piece with a fascinating anecdote about meeting Starr for the first time earlier this year.)

By the time the House voted to impeach Clinton — the Senate eventually acquitted him — the die was cast.

For Democrats, Republicans had grossly overreacted to a personal foible. Because of their blind hatred for all things “Clinton,” the argument went, Republicans had grossly overstepped their mandate and their responsibility to the country. They had turned a molehill into a mountain.

For Republicans, Clinton’s prevarications about the nature of his relationship with Lewinsky — “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky” — were proof of everything they believed about him: He didn’t think the rules applied to him, he lied with ease and he put his own selfish desires before the country’s.

Voters seemed to side with Democrats, handing the party major (and ahistoric) victories in the 1998 midterm elections and driving Newt Gingrich out as House speaker.

Two years later, however, George W. Bush beat Clinton’s vice president, Al Gore, running on a message of restoring family values to the White House and the country — a not-at-all subtle rejection of the Clinton years. (Gore ran away from Clinton for much of that campaign for fear of getting dragged down in voters’ distaste for the personal life of the 42nd president.)

Lost amid all of that analysis of who benefited and who lost from the Lewinsky scandal was Lewinsky herself — and the raw facts of what happened.

A president of the United States pursued a sexual relationship with a White House intern. He was 49, she was 22. When confronted with the details of the relationship, Clinton lied about it.

There’s zero in those three sentences that anyone — and I mean anyone — can dispute.

We, as a society, never really dealt with those facts because almost instantly Monica Lewinsky the person — a 22-year-old INTERN — disappeared, and Monica Lewinsky the political football appeared.

Again, Lewinsky writes persuasively on this:

“With the introduction of the World Wide Web (in 1992-93) and two new cable news networks (Fox News and MSNBC in 1996), the lines began to blur between fact and opinion, news and gossip, private lives and public shaming. The Internet had become such a propulsive force driving the flow of information that when the Republican-led Judiciary Committee of the House of Representatives decided to publish Ken Starr’s commission’s ‘findings’ online—just two days after he had delivered them—it meant that (for me personally) every adult with a modem could instantaneously peruse a copy and learn about my private conversations, my personal musings (lifted from my home computer), and, worse yet, my sex life.”

It was a perfect political/media storm — and Lewinsky got blown away by it. (To her immense credit, Lewinsky has emerged as a outspoken advocate against bullying, a cause near and dear to my heart as well.)

What happened in 1998 in many ways created the political reality we are still living in today. Political differences are seen as irreconcilable. Those who disagree with you are regarded as not just dumb or misguided but evil as well. Everything — from school shootings to the American dream — is seen through a partisan lens. Views are set in stone; changing them is regarded as a sign of weakness, not strength.

And yet, as Lewinsky notes, the #MeToo movement has forced a rethinking of the dynamics between powerful men and women who work for or with them. What we once wrote off to “boys being boys” or accepted as an unsavory but inevitable element of our society is now being understood for what it is: An abuse of power that calls into question the very idea of “consent” itself.

That re-examination should not preclude Bill Clinton. We owe Monica Lewinsky that.</s>Monica Lewinsky is speaking out about the power and impact of the #MeToo movement, revealing it has enabled people to see the “gross abuse of power” that transpired between her and then-President Bill Clinton over 20 years ago.

In a powerful new personal essay for , the 44-year-old reflected on the scandal that followed after her sexual relationship with Clinton, now 71, was revealed in 1998, leading to his impeachment trial and eventual acquittal. At the start of the affair a few years prior, Lewinsky was a 22-year-old White House intern.

Lewinsky wrote that the influx of women across industries speaking out against sexual harassment has enabled her — and the country — to view what happened through a different lens.

Still, Lewinsky — who has spoken before about being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder following the public-shaming she experienced at the time — revealed that she’s only just beginning to “consider the implications of the power differentials that were so vast between a president and a White House intern.” It’s a change she attributed to living in a post-Harvey Weinstein world.

“Until recently (thank you, Harvey Weinstein), historians hadn’t really had the perspective to fully process and acknowledge that year of shame and spectacle,” she wrote in , adding that even though what occurred between herself and Clinton wasn’t sexual assault, “we now recognize that it constituted a gross abuse of power.”

RELATED: Former Top Advisers to President Obama and the Clintons Voice Support for Monica Lewinsky

Lewinsky also went on to reveal that viewing her past trauma in a new light has been challenging.

“The reason this is difficult is that I’ve lived for such a long time in the House of Gaslight, clinging to my experiences as they unfolded in my 20s and railing against the untruths that painted me as an unstable stalker and Servicer in Chief,” she wrote in .

“Given my PTSD and my understanding of trauma, it’s very likely that my thinking would not necessarily be changing at this time had it not been for the #MeToo movement—not only because of the new lens it has provided but also because of how it has offered new avenues toward the safety that comes from solidarity,” she added.

But because of the #MeToo movement, Lewinsky said, “I now see how problematic it was that the two of us even got to a place where there was a question of consent. Instead, the road that led there was littered with inappropriate abuse of authority, station, and privilege.”

“I’m beginning to entertain the notion that in such a circumstance the idea of consent might well be rendered moot,” she continued.

Given the new conditions in which the country is able to view sexual misconduct, Lewinsky added in her essay, “My hope, given the two dec­ades that have passed, is that we are now at a stage where we can untangle the complexities and context (maybe even with a little compassion), which might help lead to an eventual healing—and a systemic transformation.”

The lengthy piece covered numerous topics related to the anniversary of the scandal, including an accidental run-in Lewinsky had with Kenneth Starr — the independent counsel who lead the investigation into the relationship now two decades ago — last December.

As recently as last November, several former top advisers to President Obama and the Clintons voiced their support for Lewinsky. During an interview with MSNBC, Jennifer Palmieri, the communications director for Hillary Clinton who also worked for former President Clinton’s administration, said that she was sorry for everything Lewinsky had undergone.

“Monica Lewinsky was my intern and the relationship the president had with her was very inappropriate,” said Palmieri. “It was a consensual relationship, but he was the President of the United States and she was a 24-year-old intern — that is taking advantage of a power dynamic on a historic scale.”

Lewinsky’s essay will be available in the March 2018 issue of Vanity Fair, available on newsstands nationwide on March 6.</s>Thanks to the #MeToo movement, Monica Lewinsky’s history with President Bill Clinton is back in the spotlight. Lewinsky was just 22 years old when she worked as an unpaid White House intern for White House Chief of Staff Leon Panetta in summer 1995. And her relationship with the then-49-year-old president of the United States took place between ’95 and ’97.

According to the , she moved into a paid job at the White House office of legislative affairs and also began a sexual relationship with Clinton in November 1995. Now, more than 20 years later, Lewinsky is able to reflect on the “gross abuse of power” in the sexual encounters, as Clinton was her boss and 27 years her senior.

In a powerful new essay for Vanity Fair, Lewinsky (now 44) wrote that she is now beginning to “consider the implications of the power differentials that were so vast between a president and a White House intern.”

“Until recently (thank you, Harvey Weinstein), historians hadn’t really had the perspective to fully process and acknowledge that year of shame and spectacle,” she wrote.

Monica Lewinsky’s #MeToo story happened decades before the movement, and at the time she said it was consensual. “I now see how problematic it was that the two of us even got to a place where there was a question of consent. Instead, the road that led there was littered with inappropriate abuse of authority, station, and privilege,” she wrote.

“I’m beginning to entertain the notion that in such a circumstance the idea of consent might well be rendered moot,” Lewinsky added. “He was the most powerful man on the planet. He was 27 years my senior, with enough life experience to know better. He was, at the time, at the pinnacle of his career, while I was in my first job out of college.”

VIDEO: Monica Lewinsky on How the #MeToo Movement Has Redefined the Clinton Scandal

Nowadays, the 44-year-old focuses on bullying prevention. She has never married, nor does she have kids. “I keep my personal life private,” she told People in 2015. “I think people have known enough about my romantic life for a lifetime.”</s>Two decades after her extramarital affair with former president Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky is rethinking the issue of consent.

In an article for Vanity Fair, Lewinsky wrote she now realizes that her relationship with Clinton "constituted a gross abuse of power." This is a profound shift from the position she took in a June 2014 piece for the same magazine.

"Sure my boss took advantage of me, but I will always remain firm on this point: it was a consensual relationship," Lewinsky wrote in 2014. "Any 'abuse' came in the aftermath, when I was made a scapegoat in order to protect his powerful position."

Lewinsky says she now sees that her relationship with Clinton was full of "inappropriate abuse of authority, station, and privilege."

"Now, at 44, I’m beginning (just beginning) to consider the implications of the power differentials that were so vast between a president and a White House intern," she wrote. "I’m beginning to entertain the notion that in such a circumstance the idea of consent might well be rendered moot."

Lewinsky says the fallout from her relationship with Clinton left her with post-traumatic stress disorder and that in light of her trauma, she might never have changed her thinking on the subject were it not for the #MeToo movement and society's sudden reckoning with issues of sexual misconduct.

Lewinsky credits the #MeToo movement, "not only because of the new lens it has provided but also because of how it has offered new avenues toward the safety that comes from solidarity."

"I — we — owe a huge debt of gratitude to the #MeToo and Time’s Up heroines," Lewinsky wrote. "They are speaking volumes against the pernicious conspiracies of silence that have long protected powerful men when it comes to sexual assault, sexual harassment, and abuse of power."</s>Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky says she has been reexamining her affair with president Bill Clinton through the "new lens" of the #MeToo movement and has concluded it constituted a "gross abuse of power."

Lewinsky, 44, in an essay published in the latest issue of Vanity Fair magazine, also recounted a recent chance meeting with Ken Starr, the special prosecutor whose investigation led to the revelation of her sexual relationship with Clinton and his subsequent impeachment nearly 20 years ago.

Lewinsky said she was diagnosed several years ago with post-traumatic stress disorder, "mainly from the ordeal of having been publicly outed and ostracized."

She said she has drawn strength, however, from the #MeToo movement which has revealed sexual abuse by powerful men in show business, politics and the media.

Lewinsky said she had received a message recently from "one of the brave women leading the #MeToo movement" saying "I'm so sorry you were so alone."

"Those seven words undid me," Lewinsky wrote. "They landed in a way that cracked me open and brought me to tears."

"That I had made mistakes, on that we can all agree," she said. "But swimming in that sea of Aloneness was terrifying."

Lewinsky said there are "many more women and men whose voices and stories need to be heard before mine.

"There are even some people who feel my White House experiences don't have a place in this movement, as what transpired between Bill Clinton and myself was not sexual assault, although we now recognize that it constituted a gross abuse of power," she said.

Lewinsky recalled how she had emphasized in another essay for Vanity Fair four years ago that the affair with Clinton was a "consensual relationship."

She credited the #MeToo movement and the "new lens it has provided" for the change in her thinking.

"Now, at 44, I'm beginning (just beginning) to consider the implications of the power differentials that were so vast between a president and a White House intern," she said. "I'm beginning to entertain the notion that in such a circumstance the idea of consent might well be rendered moot.

"He was my boss. He was the most powerful man on the planet," Lewinsky wrote. "He was 27 years my senior, with enough life experience to know better.

"I now see how problematic it was that the two of us even got to a place where there was a question of consent," she said. "Instead, the road that led there was littered with inappropriate abuse of authority, station, and privilege."

"But it's also complicated. Very, very complicated," she said, acknowledging that she had been looking for "intimacy" and was not seeking now to make excuses for "my responsibility for what happened."

As for her meeting with former special prosecutor, their first face-to-face ever, Lewinsky said it occurred in December 2017 at a New York restaurant.

She said Starr asked her several times if she was "doing OK?" and "kept touching my arm and elbow, which made me uncomfortable."

"I felt determined, then and there, to remind him that, 20 years before, he and his team of prosecutors hadn't hounded and terrorized just me but also my family," she said.

Looking for an apology, Lewinsky said she told Starr that while she wished she had made "different choices" she would have liked his office to have done the same.

Starr gave an "inscrutable smile," Lewinsky said, and replied "I know. It was unfortunate."</s>In a new essay for Vanity Fair, Monica Lewinsky said the #MeToo movement has forced her to confront the power dynamics of her 1990s affair with then-President Bill Clinton.

“I am in awe of the sheer courage of the women who have stood up and begun to confront entrenched beliefs and institutions. But as for me, my history, and how I fit in personally? I’m sorry to say I don’t have a definitive answer yet on the meaning of all of the events that led to the 1998 investigation; I am unpacking and reprocessing what happened to me,” Lewinsky wrote in a piece published Sunday.

Lewinsky’s affair with Clinton was made public during the 1998 investigation conducted by independent counsel Ken Starr. The affair led to Clinton’s eventual impeachment for lying under oath about the relationship, among other statements. Clinton was later acquitted.

Lewinsky, who disclosed that she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of the ordeal, said the #MeToo movement began to change her mind about the affair and the subsequent investigation.

She acknowledged that her past descriptions of the affair, which emphasized that the relationship was consensual, didn’t address the dynamics of consent — namely that Lewinsky was a White House intern in her early 20s and Clinton was one of the most powerful men in the world.

“I now see how problematic it was that the two of us even got to a place where there was a question of consent. Instead, the road that led there was littered with inappropriate abuse of authority, station, and privilege. (Full stop.)” she wrote.

Lewinsky also revealed that she met Starr — the man she says turned her life “into a living hell” — for the first time in New York last winter. She said Starr asked her if she was “doing OK.”

“A stranger might have surmised from his tone that he had actually worried about me over the years. His demeanor, almost pastoral, was somewhere between avuncular and creepy. He kept touching my arm and elbow, which made me uncomfortable,” she wrote, adding that “In hindsight, I later realized, I was paving the way for him to apologize. But he didn’t. He merely said, with the same inscrutable smile, ‘I know. It was unfortunate.'”

Lewinsky said that amid the uprising of women speaking out about sexual assault and harassment in the last year, a leader of the #MeToo movement apologized to her for going through the 1990s scandal alone.

“By and large I had been alone. So. Very. Alone. Publicly Alone—abandoned most of all by the key figure in the crisis, who actually knew me well and intimately. That I had made mistakes, on that we can all agree. But swimming in that sea of Aloneness was terrifying,” Lewinsky said.</s>Monica Lewinsky has waited 20 years for the Me Too movement.

“I’m so sorry you were so alone,” Lewinsky wrote in a recent essay for Vanity Fair, recalling a message she received from a leader of the Me Too movement. “Those seven words undid me.”

Lewinsky’s essay in the magazine’s March edition describes how she grappled with isolation and trauma after her affair with then-President Bill Clinton became public in 1998. Only recently, with the help of the Me Too movement against sexual misconduct, has she felt less alone. A private exchange with a leader of the movement was powerfully reassuring, she wrote.

“Somehow, coming from her ― a recognition of sorts on a deep, soulful level ― [those words] landed in a way that cracked me open and brought me to tears,” Lewinsky continued. “Yes, I had received many letters of support in 1998 ... But by and large I had been alone. So. Very. Alone. Publicly Alone ― abandoned most of all by the key figure in the crisis, who actually knew me well and intimately. That I had made mistakes, on that we can all agree. But swimming in that sea of Aloneness was terrifying.”

Lewinsky’s poignant essay describes how it felt to be the infamous centerpiece of a scandal that rocked a presidency: The investigation; the onslaught of media stories and cruel “Saturday Night Live” skits; her own mother being forced to testify against her; and seeing details of her sex life and personal life displayed to the world.

“To be blunt, I was diagnosed several years ago with post-traumatic stress disorder, mainly from the ordeal of having been publicly outed and ostracized back then,” she wrote. “My trauma expedition has been long, arduous, painful, and expensive. And it’s not over.”

Lewinsky, now 44, said her experience would have been different if it had happened today. With the rising Me Too movement, Lewinsky wrote that she would have been “instantly welcomed into a tribe.”

Isolation is such a powerful tool to the subjugator. And yet I don’t believe I would have felt so isolated had it all happened today. One of the most inspiring aspects of this newly energized movement is the sheer number of women who have spoken up in support of one another. And the volume in numbers has translated into volume of public voice. Historically, he who shapes the story (and it is so often a he) creates “the truth.” But this collective rise in decibel level has provided a resonance for women’s narratives. If the Internet was a bête noire to me in 1998, its stepchild ― social media ― has been a savior for millions of women today (notwithstanding all the cyberbullying, online harassment, doxing, and slut-shaming). Virtually anyone can share her or his #MeToo story and be instantly welcomed into a tribe.

The Me Too movement also has helped Lewinsky confront her own story and address it with more nuance. She’s still trying to grasp grey areas of consent between her and Clinton. While she believes what happened “was not sexual assault,” she said it was a “gross abuse of power.”

“I’m beginning (just beginning) to consider the implications of the power differentials that were so vast between a president and a White House intern,” she wrote. “I’m beginning to entertain the notion that in such a circumstance the idea of consent might well be rendered moot. (Although power imbalances ― and the ability to abuse them ― do exist even when the sex has been consensual.)

“I want to be thoughtful,” she continued. “But I know one thing for certain: part of what has allowed me to shift is knowing I’m not alone anymore. And for that I am grateful.”

Head over to Vanity Fair to read Lewinsky’s full essay.</s>Monica Lewinsky is opening up about her relationship with Bill Clinton while posing in a new blue dress in the March issue of Vanity Fair.

The former White House intern, 44, looks back at the affair with her much older and married boss through the lens of the #MeToo movement, writing in an essay for the magazine that while she may not qualify as a victim there is no denying that Clinton was a sexual predator.

She goes on to say that Chelsea and Hillary Clinton were examples of 'grit and grace' during that difficult time, while she was forced to remain silent 'due to legal quarantine' as Kenneth Starr forced even her own mother to testify against her in court.

Lewinsky reveals early in the essay that she never actually met Starr during the investigation, with their first run-in coming just two months ago on Christmas Eve when she was out to dinner with her family.

She describes him as 'creepy,' and says his constant touching left her feeling 'uncomfortable'.

'Ken Starr asked me several times if I was “doing O.K.” A stranger might have surmised from his tone that he had actually worried about me over the years,' says Lewinsky, noting that this was the same man who made her life 'a living hell.'

'His demeanor, almost pastoral, was somewhere between avuncular and creepy. He kept touching my arm and elbow, which made me uncomfortable.'

Lewinsky writes that she was a bit 'thrown' but eventually mustered up the courage to say what she had waited 20 years to say to Starr.

'Though I wish I had made different choices back then, I wish that you and your office had made different choices, too,' recalls Lewinsky of her remarks that night.

Starr replied by telling her it was 'unfortunate' before the two went their separate ways.

Lewinsky explains that in the wake of the #MeToo movement many people have apologized to her for what she was forced to endure two decades ago, with one letter even bringing her to tears.

'Yes, I had received many letters of support in 1998. And, yes (thank God!), I had my family and friends to support me. But by and large I had been alone,' explains Lewinsky.

'Publicly Alone—abandoned most of all by the key figure in the crisis, who actually knew me well and intimately. That I had made mistakes, on that we can all agree. But swimming in that sea of Aloneness was terrifying.'

Lewinsky makes it clear however that not everyone views her as a victim.

'There are even some people who feel my White House experiences don’t have a place in this movement, as what transpired between Bill Clinton and myself was not sexual assault, although we now recognize that it constituted a gross abuse of power,' states Lewinsky.

She later admits even she is uncertain of her place in the movement.

'I’m sorry to say I don’t have a definitive answer yet on the meaning of all of the events that led to the 1998 investigation; I am unpacking and reprocessing what happened to me,' explains Lewinsky.

'Over and over and over again.'

At the time the affair began between the president and his intern in November 1995, Clinton was 49 years old and Lewinsky was a 22-year-old White House employee.

Clinton would initially deny having sexual relations with Lewinsky in a sworn deposition back in January of 1998, going so far as to claim that the two were never even alone together in the White House.

Unbeknownst to him at the time, Lewinsky had already revealed to Linda Tripp that the two were together nine times between that first encounter and March of 1997, and engaged in oral sex multiple times.

The affair became public one day after Clinton's sworn testimony, at which point Tripp gave tapes of Lewinsky admitting to her relationship to Kenneth Star, who at the time was pursuing the Whitewater controversy and Clinton's alleged sexual harassment of Paula Jones, a former Arkansas state employee.

Clinton continued to deny reports that he had relations with with the brunette from Beverly Hills even after the report broke, famously saying: 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky' in a nationally televised White House news conference.'

Months later, he admitted to the affair and claimed that his definition of sexual relations differed from that of others.

This resulted in the House voting to impeach Clinton on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice back in December of 1998, with the vote then moving to the Senate.

The Senate then acquitted him of those charges when the Senate did not achieve the two-thirds vote necessary to remove Clinton from office.

A second attempt at impeachment, on an additional perjury charge and abuse of power, never made it past the House.

Tripp had worked in the Pentagon alongside Lewinsky when the former White House intern opened up to her about her affair with Bill Clinton.

She taped their conversations for months it was later revealed and then handed the recordings over to Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr to avoid facing wiretapping charges.

Prior to that she handed the tapes over to lawyers for Paula Jones, who was suing Clinton for sexual harassment at the time.

Jones' lawyers then added Lewinsky to their witness list, but the judge ruled that her testimoney would be immaterial to the case before tossing it out.

A few months later, Clinton settled with Jones for $850,000 when her legal team launched an appeal.

The affair and its aftermath seem destined to live on as well, as Ryan Murphy has reportedly optioned Jeffrey Toobin's bestselling book 'A Vast Conspiracy: The Real Sex Scandal That Nearly Brought Down a President' for an upcoming season of his American Crime Story anthology.

This is a difficult part of Lewinsky's life she reveals in her essay, and why she is particularly sympathetic to victims of past offenses.

'For many, the Reckoning has also been a re-triggering,' writes Lewinsky.

'Sadly, what I see with every new allegation, and with every posting of "#MeToo," is another person who may have to cope with the re-emergence of trauma.'

She goes on to write: 'My hope is that through Time’s Up (or, perhaps, another organization) we can begin to meet the need for the resources that are required for the kind of trauma therapy vital for survival and recovery.'</s>Twenty years after the infamous Starr investigation, Monica Lewinksy has another story to tell. The former White House intern has written another essay for Vanity Fair, reflecting on her relationship with then President Bill Clinton. The essay is titled: “Monica Lewinsky: Emerging from ‘The House of Gaslight’ in the age of #metoo”.

The now 44-year-old Lewinsky identifies herself as a social activist on Facebook, advocating for women who are victims of sexual harassment, cyberbullying and shaming. In the essay she writes about how other women sharing their stories in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein allegations have helped Lewinsky begin coping with the outcome of her relationship with Clinton.

Here’s what you need to know:

1. Lewinsky ReAffirms Her Relationship With Clinton Was Consensual

Four years ago she wrote another essay for Vanity Fair where Lewinsky shared that her affair with Bill Clinton was “a consensual relationship.” Over the last two decades, Lewinsky has grown and learned from the incident. “I now see how problematic it was that the two of us even got to a place where there was a question of consent,” she wrote.

Lewinsky also explains how her coping mechanism has evolved since the scandal. “Now, at 44, I’m beginning (just beginning) to consider the implications of the power differentials that were so vast between a president and a White House intern.” Lewinsky currently believes the idea of consent for her “might well be rendered moot.”

2. She Says Her Freedom Was Threatened



 Lewinsky reveals some details about what her life was like during the thick of the Starr investigation. Lewinsky writes that Starr’s staff: “had hustled me into a hotel room near the Pentagon and informed me that unless I cooperated with them I could face 27 years in prison.” She also wrote that her 24-year-old life was a “living hell”.

Those aggressive tactics help validate Lewinsky’s claim she was living in “The House of Gaslight”, in reference to the name of her essay. Merriam Webster defines “gaslight” as “to attempt to make (someone) believe that he or she is going insane” and “to describe manipulative behavior used to confuse people into thinking their reactions are so far off base that they’re crazy.”

Lewinsky also writes about how Starr “hounded and terrorized” her family. According to the essay, Starr threatened to prosecute Lewinsky’s mother, investigate her father’s medical practice and depose her aunt.



 Perhaps the most unexpected and comedic part of Lewinsky’s most recent Vanity Fair essay was the reveal about her impromptu encounter with man who prosecuted her. It happened at a restaurant in Manhattan’s West Village on Christmas Eve of 2017. Lewinsky recognized Star from across the room and approached him. Before Lewinsky could finish her opening remark, the man said: “Let me introduce myself, I’m Ken Starr.”

According to Lewinsky, that was the first time she had met Starr. “I found myself shaking his hand even as I struggled to decipher the warmth he evinced,” Lewinsky wrote. Starr asked Lewinsky several times if she was “doing O.K.” Lewinsky described his demeanor as “creepy” and claims he kept touching her arm and elbow, which made Lewinsky feel “uncomfortable.” Lewinsky added she also introduced Starr to her family that night.

4. She Has Been Diagnosed With Post Stress Disorder

About midway through her essay to Vanity Fair, Lewinsky reveals she was diagnosed with PTSD “several years ago.” She says the ordeal is the result of having been “publicly outed and ostracized back then.” Lewinsky describes her trauma as “long, arduous, painful and expensive.”

Later in the essay, Lewinsky addressed the current #MeToo movement in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein allegations. She also advocates for the TIME’S UP Legal Defense Fund. A grassroots funding campaign which provides subsidized legal support to women and men who have experienced sexual harassment, assault, or abuse in the workplace and while in pursuit of their careers. The GoFundMe page currently has over $21 million in donations.

Lewinsky finishes her essay by quoting a Mexican proverb: “They tried to bury us; they didn’t know we were seeds.” She then compares the buried women to mother nature, ending with he line: “Spring has finally sprung.”

There is no mention of any romantic involvement in her most recent essay for Vanity Fair. However in 2015, she did reveal to PEOPLE Magazine that she was still looking for Mr. Right. “I’ve promised Barbara Walters a dance at my wedding so I hope to make good on that promise some day!” she told PEOPLE.

She is happy to be back in the public spotlight, advocating against cyberbullying, however she isn’t keen on sharing information about her dating life. “You can ask it, but I keep my personal life private. I think people have known enough about my romantic life for a lifetime,” she told PEOPLE.

There was no mention of Lewinsky’s current living situation in her most recent Vanity Fair essay. In the 2015 interview with PEOPLE, Lewinsky said she was living in New York City, but travels often to Los Angeles and London for work. She also said she has a “very full and fulfilling life.” Some of Lewinsky’s favorite activities include: going out to dinner, seeing a show, concert or movie and watching The Good Wife.

You can read more about Lewinsky’s public re-emergence here.
Monica Lewinsky questions whether her relationship with Bill Clinton was consensual, saying the Me Too movement forced her to reconsider it. [https://edition.cnn.com/2018/02/26/politics/monica-lewinsky-me-too/index.html (CNN)