Atheists Dont Have No Songs
[Narration]

You know, religious people have such beautiful music and art;
And athiests really have nothing...

Until now!

A little tune called "Athiests Don't Have No Songs"

(Christians have)
Christians have their hymns and pages
(Hymns and pages)
Hava Nagila's for the Jews
(For the Jews)
Baptists have the rock of ages
(Rock of ages)
Atheists just sing the blues

(Romantics play)
Romantics play Claire de Lune
(Claire de Lune)
Born agains sing He is risen
But no one ever wrote a tune
(Wrote a tune)
For godless existentialism
(For godless existentialism)
For Atheists
There's no good news
They'll never sing
A song of faith

In their songs
They have a rule
The "he" is always lowercase
The "he" is always lowercase

(Some folks sing)
Some folks sing a Bach cantata
(Bach cantata)
Lutherans get Christmas trees
Atheist songs add up to nada
(Up to nada)
But they do have Sundays free
(Have Sundays free)

(Pentecostals sing)
Pentecostals sing, sing to heaven
(Sing to heaven)
Gothics had the books of scrolls
(Numerologists count)
Numerologists count, count to seven
(Count to seven)
Atheists have rock and roll
For Atheists
There's no good news
They'll never sing
A song of faith

In their songs
They have a rule
The "he" is always lowercase
The "he" is always lowercase

Atheists
... Atheists
... Atheists
Don't Have No SONGS!

(Christians have)
Christians have their hymns and pages
(Hymns and pages)
Hava Nagila's for the Jews
(For the Jews)
Baptists have the rock of ages
(Rock of ages)
Atheists just sing the blues

Catholics
Dress up for Mass
And listen to
Gregorian chants
Atheists
Just take a pass
Watch football in their underpants
Watch football in their underpants

Atheists
... Atheists
... Atheists
Don't Have No SONGS!
(Don't Have No Songs)