Love Me
(Slowed-down)
This is radio station BLAZ

(Talking)
Beat me, bite me, whip me
Fuck me like the dirty dog that I am
Cum all over my tits and tell em that you love me
Get the fuck out! Lick my puckering sphincter
Run warm rice pudding through my colon
Gently nuzzle my nardsack with a ball-peen hammer
Stretch my scrotum like the Indian Rubber-Man
Leave tongue marks all over my pancreas

Joe Queer this one goes out to you
And all the great things you've done;
Shooting up heroin in the Statue of Liberty
Slicing off your mothers head
And pissing down the neck hole
Raping a 5 year-old and then claiming
That she "liked your records".'
All of these things add up to the Joe Queer
That we all know and love!
The Joe Queer that's wanted in 12 states
For stealing Methadone from Rexalls
You know, in my life I've met a lot of sick
Twisted and demented characters
People that beat me, that bit me
Whipped and fucked me and came all over my tits
But eventually they all told me that they loved me
Before they got the fuck out

You know, this would probably be a good time
To mention, that the entire state of New Hampshire
Had a cork surgically implanted in its ass
And it was up to Joe Queer to remove that cork
When he returned from fishing
You see, Joe's a dirty guy, but he's a working guy
Him and the Dropkick Murphys share a lunchbox
They go to work, 9-5, they come home
And sodomize 3 year-olds
Hand out Neo-Nazi literature to children at preschools
And then they get back to that New-England rock
Thats so hot and heavy
You know I don't know how many of you
Know about this, but Joe actually
Sodomized Ben Weasel
When Ben OD'd on cough syrup
They were at his house, Ben was looking under the couch for M&Ms
And Joe just couldn't resist
It's the kind of thing he does
But as Joe once told me
"One day a week doesn't make you gay"
And I think that's a good thing to remember
As we plug our way through this compilation
Whatever random musicians are playing behind
It's important that we all get behind the project
And by the project, I mean a 12 year-old Laotian boy

So, it's very important to me in this time that you join me, my fellow Dwarves, The Queers, and all of the brilliant acts that have
Gone into the making of this great, carefully crafted record
I want you to go to your window, I want you to raise it
I want you to scream out "I'm as mad as Joe Queer! And I'm not going to play the same songs over and over and over again!"
Godspeed! This is a Public Service Announcement  on behalf of The Queers, Flag The Ripper, and
Your motherfucking mammy
I'll see you in Haiti