Nonessential
Quarantine day 29
I’m trapped in here with four kids and a wife
And a dog that keeps pooping on the carpet
I wanna get him house broken but he’s not yet

And I’ve still got a little toilet paper left
And at the store I stocked up so we won’t starve to death
I got ramen and rice,  the beans and cornbread is nice
I even found myself a brisket that was marked at half price

But the kids, the kids, somebody help us with the kids
Outta school for three weeks about to hit the skids
When we lay down at night we can’t close our lids
The next thing they do is worse than the last thing they did

You know I thought they alright but now I have my doubts
I’ve seen every single episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
Twenty seven times cause it’s on repeat
The only thing the kid watches when he’s not asleep

When the baby’s not pooping the baby is barfing
The doc says that’s normal, the volume’s alarming
The teenagers driving me slowly to harming
Myself inbetween all their yelling and farting
These kids are driving us crazy
Two teens a toddler and baby
They fight and cry on the daily
You know they acting like maybe
They been infected by rabies
So if I seem a bit cagey
It’s cause I’m stuck here in Hades

I’m Nonessential
I’m Nonessential
Somebody please check my credentials
I’m nonessential

Been here for three and a half weeks ain’t done a damn thing
But playing Animal Crossing and watching Tiger King
Between Joe Exotic and that damn Carole Baskins
But I’m doing what the experts is askins

I got a mask on and I’m socially distant
But I’m an introvert so at least that’s consistent
With the way I been living my life cuz in this instance
The folks at Walmart are actin like Infants

And Dad Guy is a hit but even dad needs a break
Just to kick up his feet with a beer and a steak
Or get out of the house maybe go to the lake
Cause I don’t know how much more of this I can take
So just call me symptomatic cause I got cabin fevurr
Need a prescription just to get some relief hurrr
So treat the symptoms can't treat the disease
Only one thing left puts my mind at ease

I'm nonessential
I'm nonessential
This is my full potential
I'm nonessential

I'm completely nonessential
Everybody throw 'em up if you're essential
This song is inconsequential
Everyone that I know is nonessential

I'm nonessential