Fathers Day
When I was sixteen I cut myself a Mohawk
Because I wanted to walk the walk
And not just talk the talk
But it was a bit of a disaster because
I did the sides with kitchen scissors
Because I didn’t have any clippers
And I didn’t want to use a beard-trimmer
I’d made that mistake before

When you got home you didn’t want to talk about what I’d done
You said I’d let you down, I’d fucked around, when I was only having fun
With the way that you’ve been lately, you’ve no right to scream and shout
You and I, we’ve got a lot that we need to talk about

What’s the point in making vows that you’re never going to keep?
A lifetime lying awake means you’ll never get to sleep
And all the promises you made, that were painful and untrue
Of all the things you do they reflect worst on you

We all have our own devices
For handling mid-life crises
Usually involves a motorbike and
Suspicious fashion decisions
But you choose to stave off grey hairs by
Lamely hacking at the sides
With lies and flimsy alibis
For your suspicious expeditions
When I get home I don’t want to talk about what you’ve done
Yes you’ve let me down, you’ve fucked around, but I guess you were having fun
With the way that I’ve been lately, I’ve no right to scream and shout
You and I, we’ve got a lot that we need to talk about

What’s the point in making vows that you’re never going to keep?
A lifetime lying awake means you’ll never get to sleep
And all the promises you made, that were painful and untrue
Of all the things you do they reflect worst on you
You always told me Father’s Day was just another way
Of selling Hallmark greeting cards
Twenty years of waking sleep, of lying through your teeth
Meant every Father’s Day spent wondering who the hell you are

What’s the point in us making vows that we’re never going to keep?
I keep trying to keep you up, but you keep on falling asleep
And all the promises we made were painful and untrue
But for better or for worse, I am turning into you