Fuck Lettuce Remastered Extra Tofu Edition
Fuck Lettuce Remastered (Extra Tofu Edition)

I PAY MY BILLS ON TIME!

[Prologue]

On top of the list of the things I hate is playing dominoes with kung fu panda
But not far down that list, right below the giraffe Olympics
Is vegans
And here’s why

[Verse 1]
I’m sitting at restaurant eating a fucking burger
There’s a fat ass that’s mad, but he ain’t taking it further
Food was so good I needed another order
Chubby had a short fuse, and I was making it shorter

Started chomping down, like “this burger’s the fucking best”
Should’ve kept my mouth shut, stirred up the hornet’s nest
Man walked up to me just sweatin’ and seethin’
The moment I saw him, I knew it man, he was VEGAN



He started screaming, like a baby, still teething
“I’M SO MAD, STOP HURTING MY HECKING FEELINGS”
This guy wasn’t worth my time so I acted quick
But I knocked his ass out, ending the babies dumbass fit

[Chorus]
Don’t care if you’re an activist
Acting like it matters, shit
Shut the hell up
And listen to this fucking track
It’s LIT

Cooking’s hard, it isn’t easy
Make a calzone it’s too cheesy
So much cheddar makes me queasy
Forgot im lactose intolerant

[Bridge to second verse]

Shit…
I might die…
Gonna have to respawn…
Aw heck…

[Verse 2]

Your fucking dumb asses wanna protect animals
It’s not just meat, animals eat
But they’re also cannibals
They protect themselves from meat in their vicinity
Kind of ironic cause they’ll never lose their virginity

Can’t find a shred of me that wants ‘em alive
Send them to die
In a war that’s a lie
Just tell ‘em goodbye
The world’ll be fine
I need some more lines
Think of new rhymes
Limes, Times, Dimes
Crimes, Chimes, Mimes
Gavin Mother Fucking Seims

You might call me evil
Say my arguments feeble
Haven’t you been harassed
By some vegan’s retarded ass?
Their brain functions are slow, while ours are fast
Vegans won’t last
They’ll be a thing of the past
[Chorus]

Don’t care if you’re an activist
Acting like it matters, shit
Shut the hell up
And listen to this fucking track
It’s LIT

[A giraffe walks into the recording studio]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING DOING IN HERE

[Cam Jam enters]

FUCK LETTUCE BITCH!

[Singular Chainz and Cam Jam beat the shit out of a giraffe for 40 seconds straight]

[Chorus]

Don’t care if you’re an activist
Acting like it matters, shit
Shut the hell up
And listen to this fucking track
It’s LIT!
[End]