Your dad 2 ... ten things millenials can do with college degrees
Hey, I think you're a really talented guy. I've seen what you've been doing on the computer there, umm, and I'm just blown away by how good you are on the computer, and so, know what, I got a job for you. You're coming with me. You're hired, and uh, I got an opening for you at my firm, and how's this: starting salary $200,000 per annum. Whaddya think about that? Listen kid -- I need ya. I need ya on my team. I've seen what you can do on the computer. That's a -- that's a video 'cause um, you're all -- everybody has computer skills, and uh, you know, your parents, when you're young and you're playing fucking Pokemon Red, and you're blowing your mom and dad's mind with how "he saved the file! How'd he do that? Hey, my kid's got computer skills!" So everybody hehehehehe, so we all sorta think that we um, that somehow I mean that somehow we'd be able to serve a function, or serve a purpose, or add -- bring value to the table in the corporate world, and it's not true at all, hahaha. Umm, and it's just funny; that's a funny thing to me: the, um, when you're fourteen, you're sixteen, and you can hook up a computer monitor, you know, your parents get a new ePC, or they get a computer they bought off QVC, they bought a Toshiba desktop, and it comes with full bloatware, and you're able to hook the monitor up and get the whole thing set up and running in fifteen minutes, and that blows their mind--they think you're some kind of savant. "Oh wow! Hey, you should see my kid! He hooked up my computer--he hooked up my computer in fifteen minutes! The kid was like a lightning! Watching his fingers, wow, goin', pluggin cords and things like that was crazy! He's like Neo from The Matrix! He's gonna grow up to get a big, important job! He's gonna grow up to be a millionaire! Just wait and see; he's gonna make me proud!" But really, what you were doing the whole time was buying someone's Diablo account on eBay. So, it really wasn't that special, was it? And now, you're twenty eight years old, and you don't have a skill. You aren't qualified to clean toilets. Let's just say that. You don't have--every job. Everything is above your pay grade! You're qualified to operate a vacuum, and it's just funny that your parents had such high hopes for you based on some fucking piece of shit you made in Photoshop; you put on difference clouds and a lens flare, and your dad was so blown away it was like he was on wires in a movie, he went "PWOOSH Woah, my son's a computer genius! Look at this kid! Look at him! He took the family photographs and made 'em look like they were in a magazine or somethin! Geez!" But hey, you take a typing class, take a Mavis Beacon class, and soon, you'll be ready to earn! EARRRNNNN! For everybody out there who's at a dead end right now, or you're working your way up the corporate ladder, and it doesn't seem to be going fast enough--you're only making $55000 a year, and that's not enough money to live in a suburb of New York City or in New York City itself. You know, you spend $30,000, $35,000 a year on rent and food and upkeep, you're not left with much. You're not left with much at all. Is it really worth it? Would you break your back to save twenty grand? "Twenty grand, woah! That's a lot of money, woah!" How much did you save last year? How much do you have in savings right now? You've been working for three years, you got twelve hundred dollars in your savings account? That's cool. I can fix it just like this EEEIERIREIEEEE. "HEY! HEY YOU! YOU!" He didn't hear me. Sometimes, you just gotta dance, right? I like Good Morning America, I like Good Morning America, I like books on TV 'cause you know, when life sucks, and the country's going to shit, and you got nothin, you just gotta dance. You just gotta dance. Hey, that's cool. Yeah! I think I've talked about this in another video. If you haven't watched Good Morning America, or you haven't, you have to go watch an episode of Good Morning America, and you have to be sitting in front of the TV as it's happening live. Don't watch a recorded one; watch a live one. Wake up in the morning, make yourself a coffee, go through the steps that everybody else goes through: you know, get cozy, you're sitting in your couch there, you're comfy, you have a nice warm cup of coffee, and then all your favorite playmates come on the TV, and they're just dancing. "Hey what happened in the news today? Oh wow we got new sports coming up? Woah, yeah! Yeah, that's cool. In other news today, we had a Oscar-winning actor, uh actor, uh, and he's, uh...what's going on is just...wow. That's it from me today!" That's it guys. Hey, remember, everything's cool, there's nothing to worry about. Nothing bad is happening, nothing bad can ever happen, everything good's gonna happen, and there's nothing to worry about, and everything good is gonna happen to you, and nothing bad is gonna happen to you, and we're just everybody's just living. Just gonna live and let live.