Please Take Your Drunken 15 Year Old Girl Friend Home
[Chorus]
Please take your girlfriend home
She's only fifteen, she shouldn't be back here alone
I'm horny and my mind begins to roam
So please take your drunken fifteen year-old girlfriend home

[Verse 1]
She found mama's quaalude 'script
Took a few just right before the show
She is no beer drinker
She used the bathroom fifteen times I know
Her overtures were rather crude
Her boyfriend he was more than rude to me
I'm twenty-eight and I don't date
I still know classy women who like me

[Chorus]
So please take your girlfriend home
She's only fifteen, she shouldn't be back here alone
I'm horny and my mouth begins to foam
So please take your 15 year-old girlfriend home
[Verse 2]
She said our show was rather dull
She liked Jethro Tull more than she liked us
She said a cab cost twenty bucks
I gave her thirty cents to ride the bus
When she hit me with a mic
Something with which I could not agree
When she said she dug the harmonica player
A whole lot more than she dug me

[Chorus]
So please take your girlfriend home
She's only 15, she shouldn't be back here alone
Oh, take her to go read the Rolling Stone
And please take your drunken 15 year-old girlfriend home