Lets Have A Wank For England
England, England, let's have a wank for England
England, England, let's have a wank for England

My dad told me a secret back in 1966
Before every England world cup game he wanked his hairy prick
And to this day he still maintains it helped to win the cup
He spunked into a football sock to save him mopping up

So this year before the warm-up game I gave my cock a feel
Before you know it we beat Hungary, and beat the Reggae Boys six-nil
So let's wank for luck, how can it hurt? Unless your cock is sore
Take your helmet in your hand and think of Bobby Moore

Let's go to Germany and win the world cup
And pray to baby Jebus Rooney's broken foot heals up
I'm gonna wank my penis off until it spunks up
And help us win the cup for England

Let's have a wank (Oi!)
Let's have a wank (Oi!)
Let's have a wank for England
It might bring us luck if you wank and chuck your muck
We'll make it a success
And there's nothing to lose but your mess
England, England, let's have a wank for England

I don't care if Sol Campbell's mental or Ashley Cole's a closet queer
If they wear the England shirt pride they'll all be welcome here
I wouldn't care if Sven was a rapist or a nonce
If he brings the World Cup home he can do what the fuck he wants

So come on Beckham, you fucking tart, don't worry about your hair
Just get a fucking cross in, Crouch will win it in the air
He'll nod it down for Owen, who'll stick it in the goal
And I'll pull my pants and trousers down and wank my veiny pole

Let's go to Germany and win the world cup
Pray to baby Jebus Rooney's broken foot heals up
I'm gonna wank my penis until it spunks up
And help us win the cup for England

Let's have a wank (Oi!)
Let's have a wank (Oi!)
Let's have a wank for England
It might bring us luck if you give your hand a fuck
We'll make it a success
There's nothing to lose except your mess

Oi!