Greatest Thing That Man has Ever Done
Just a lonely scholar, the great historical bum
Highly educated, from history I have come
I conquered half the planet, toppled empires one by one
That's the biggest thing that men like me have ever done!

I saved the Europeans from slavery by Moors
In 732 I led my armies into Tours
The Muslims fought back bravely but we licked 'em every one
That's about the biggest thing that men like me have done!

I fought the revolution to set the country free
My little brother France fought against the Brits with me
The battle there at Bunker Hill may have favoured British guns
But soon the world would see that there was plenty more to come!

Well, we finally captured Boston, put the redcoats on the run
The blood of many patriots lay beneath the western sun
The loyalists still grumbled but they knew that we had won
That's about the biggest thing that men like me have done!

And then I took to farming on the great midwestern plain
Pushed out west to Oregon despite the wind and rain
My children braved the Indians, gave 'em liquor and their guns
That's about the biggest thing that man has ever done!
Well in 1861 the traitors stopped us in our tracks
Half a million White men dead all on behalf of blacks
Well, Lincoln got his just deserts at the barrel of a gun
Not among the finer jobs that man has ever done!

Well in the 1800's a curse befell our land
A certain type of people got the reins of power in hand
Their names all echoed strangely in the ears of some
Soon we'd fight a culture war that we have not yet won!

There was a man across the ocean and he scared the Jews to death
He challenged Jewish Bolshevism down to his last breath
Soon the US war machine turned on him every gun
We signed away our country there in 1941!

Well, the Nazis were kaput but the Communists remained
Among their ranks were legions of these men with echoing names
They filled our institutions, compromised them every one
Now remains the biggest task that we could've ever done!

Well, these people own our media, they fill our heads with lies
They advocate inclusion which amounts to suicide
They take a hammer to the country meant for our White sons
Beating them is the biggest thing that men will have ever done!

Well, I better quit my ramblin' 'cause I told you all I know
Just remember brother now wherever you may go
Our fathers left this land for us, for our daughters and our sons
Go and do the biggest thing that man has ever done!