Derreck and Darrel
[Voice from TV]

“Good evening gentlemen. [Name?] is sitting, waiting with baited breath to hear what the drama is. Good evening Dave, good evening [Name?]”

[Darrel] Yo, what up y’all? It’s Darrell. Back in the fad.
I know a lot of y’all might have noticed my slight upgrade in style, yeah. Well now please allow me to explain the situation. Now, most of my fans will remember that I lived most of my life on an oilrig…

[Derreck] Yo! Yo! Shit, it’s…

[Darrel] Yo, just, what up, yeah huh. Yo, yo, just chill yo. Yo, just chill, chill chill. As I was saying, I know a lot of you might remember I lived most of my life on an oil rig just off the coast of Alaska. However, I …

[Derreck] Up North!

[Darrel] Yo, yo, yeah, alright, yeah. Uh, I recently found out that I’m actually adopted. And so, uh, being the deeply investigative person that I am, I decided to go on a quest to find my real parents. Guess what? It turns out that my real daddy had an affair with his secretary a long time ago, and well, you can …

[Derreck] [?]

[Darrel] Yo, motherf… Yeah.

[Derreck] Yo, sorry Darrel, you the man Darrel.
[Darrel] Yeah, word, like, you motherf… Yo, so as I was saying …You can understand the embarrassing situation that arose when she found out she was pregnant with little old me. So, you know, daddy told my momma that if she went away and, you know, did what she felt was correct at the time, well, that he’d marry her when she came back, and well, she did this thing. So, my daddy divorced his wife at the time, and married my momma. So, daddy was quite surprised to see me again. Plus, with like the whole incredible physical resemblance and everything…

[Derreck] Word

[Darrel]
Yeah, but word. Now check this out. I just wanted to, just wanted, just chill, just chill.

People make mistakes
And you can’t live your life
Blaming other people for your problems

Anyway, dad gave me a lot of money to keep quiet and everything, but heck. I’m an MC, and damn, I forgive him. I just want to let everyone know that I’m no longer the nasty old Darrel you knew from before. I’ve found a more gentle, sensitive side of myself, that I feel very comfortable sharing. Plus, I’ve been reading Wallpaper Magazine…

[Derreck] He owns 15 copies
[Darrel] Oh, sn… yeah. Playing tennis. And you know, just trying to improve my lifestyle and  look after my health. Right about now, I’d like to kick a little something beautiful for y’all. Yeah, right now, ‘cause at the end of the day, we’re all orphans, adopted by our parents. From god, yeah.

[Derreck] Yo Darrel, can we go get some chicken up in this…

[Darrel] Shh, chht, cht. Yeah, this my homeboy. Just uh…

[Derreck] Derreck mother fucker!

[Darrel] Derreck!

[Derreck] Yeah, D to the K
[Darrel] Yeah, alright. Damn, peace.

[Voices from a TV]
“We’re going out of our way to see a giant ice-cream cone?”
“I just wish somebody could have [?] girl.”

[Background voices of Watkin Tudor Jones and band members]