Bonus Post- Im a Fat Bald Tub of Shit
Trying an experiment where I post new unpolished stuff on Substack. This is a diary entry with no editing.

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One hundred seventy four point one pounds. The maid came and sprayed Febreze on the pillows, laid some powder over the rug that's castrating me. No touch, ankle fucked up- stop trying to make this poetic. Laid sprayed maid prayed, stop with the writerly shit. I'm too fucking fat. Fucking stepped on the scale thinking this is gonna be the worst case scenario, 172. And it was 170 fucking four point 1! Chеst hair that I just trimmed like two weeks ago is shaggy and Armenian, thе stupid fucking vitamin E I've been taking. I didn't train for a week and then trained light this week, because my ankle was fucked up, and still is from training in on it at all. I looked at myself in the mirror with my body relaxed and I have literally no muscle definition. I'm just a fat old balding sack of shit. Fat old balding hairy sack of shit, small penis, my pubes are fucking nine feet long two weeks after trimming them, Reynolds Woodcock hairline, my chin and jaw shrunk... the maid sprayed Raid and AIDS and marmalade and the fucking matching bench and dining chairs I purchased online gassed out some endocrine disrupting particulate, whatever makes the frogs gay, and I'm sure it's one of these things that never degrades, never blows away- too much assonance-- f*gmaking superfine powders and aerosolizing agents in the air shrinking my nuts, permanent dick loss, girls text me and I tell them go away...

I'm a 174 pound pink piglet, 20% body fat, a gross parody of a six pack, flabby doughy and gay... anyway... fuck man.

I feel my soft squidgy belly, bloated spare tire fold cascading over my belt... I mean the reality is I ate salty food yesterday and I weighed myself after drinking a 16 pounce coffee. I did leg day Monday which makes you retain water. A sounds, a,a ,a.

I'm a big fat hairy baby, dad bod with no dick and nuts to be a dad, porn looks like demon clowns in gruesome makeup masks, like carnies taunting you onto some ride where you'll just puke up corn dogs and they'll yell at you for picking up change that fell out of your pocket, everything is disgusting and I'm disgusting, the women who text me… are (not appropriate healthy partners)...

They made me do this, they made me clean my house and buy new furniture, the maid from Alabama with her fatmaking Walmart chemicals. Porn and their disgusting slimy linty cuntflaps... they made me buy furniture, spruce up the place, you're an adult and you need a new X Y and Z, no touch from a woman just stupid attention seeking texts, fat tits with hairy nipples, Izzy Adesanya bitch tits. When you have big pecs you absolutely must have below 15% body fat or it just looks like you have a C cup, milk from mommy... good God. Anyway what now. Cut back fruit to once a week. Cardio doesn't do shit but make you hungry. I was at the beach, I thought I might have looked god on the beach, women checking me out, they were looking at a fat infantile sack of shit.... no amount of rich famous etc. can ever make up for this and I'll be 185 within a week... I guess who gives a shit now.