The Ballad of Exit 199
She was nine months pregnant when we went to sleep that night
And at 11:20 PM I was awoke
She was headed for the bathroom when she shouted out to me
"Paul, my water's broke, it's time to go"

Well, the good news is the bags we needed were already packed
And waiting in the trunk of the getaway car
So faster than a tire change at Talladega we were gone
And she said, "It's happening now" and I heard her breathing hard

It was thirty minutes to Deliveryville
But at a hundred miles an hour it ain't that far
At exit 192, I-40 Eastbound
Her first contraction hit and darn near stopped my heart

I was gorilla glued to that steering wheel when I came to realize
Those Lamaze classes were a waste of money and time
My wife confirmed that loudly when the next contraction hit
And exit 196 went flying by

Now every twenty seconds it was like a siren going off
And her forecast was mostly clear and loud
And it went up thirty decibels at mile marker 1-9-8
When she yelled, "Paul, the head is out"
I didn't have a catcher's mitt
So what's a cowboy to do?
Well, I was mulling over options when the answer presented itself
And it sounded something like this
Sploosh

I got Saint Thomas on the phone, said, "Boys, we're coming in hot"
I poured more gas on that four door runaway train
Well, then she calmly said, "Slow down a little
Might as well take your time now", and I thought to myself
"I wish she'd done the same"

Now Ace Bogart arrived at 11:42 PM
Seven pounds, ten ounces and nineteen inches long
Me and Tanya got a healthy little cowpoke thanks to God
And y'all, you got this funny song

Some day they'll ask him where he was born
And I know what his answer will be
Exit 199, I-40 Eastbound
Music City, Nashville, Tennesee