A Place Where Someone Loves You
There's a fire somewhere down river
Just a thin arm of gray reaching off the river flats
I'd call it a smoke signal if I were the kind of white person who said that kind of shit.
The Lake Street bridge always gives me vertigo
The water probably isn't that far away
You can sort of see the expressions of the people on the boats below you
If you dropped a rock onto the sand, it wouldn't make too deep a hole, I guess
I gotta go home now but I'm sitting outside my old home
So, when does "home" emerge from just the place where I put all my stuff
The new house is where I do all my living so I guess the old house is where I'm dead
I've been saying all that so I don't have to say this:
It's too easy to jump off a bridge or take some pills
No, actually, you've gotta walk to the bridge so no one tows your mom's car. You gotta buy or steal the pills.
Mostly, it's too easy to go without saying goodbye
Yes there is a place where someone loves you before and after they learn what you are
That place is called the world and if you wanna live, really the only option, you could choose not to, but where would you get really great sandwiches or listen to Springsteen with the windows down
When you wanna cry you'll have to just not
Yes, people will miss you, but you've wanted to kill yourself for a while
You've heard that too much and it no longer means anything
"Goodbye" isn't a strong enough word but "fuck off forever" isn't always what I mean
Listen, if I joke about wanting to kill myself, that means I don't wanna do it
Start worrying when I only talk about brunch and dog breeds
Start worrying whenever you want to, really, I'm not your boss
I don't know - I don't know why I ask my phone how to get home from here but I guess it's nice when someone else agrees with me
The GPS says it'll take 3 minutes
Home is where I most comfortably have my panic attacks
When I get home, I get to stay there
I get to sleep then I get to
If I want to
Do this all again