Thrown from a Chairlift
He is a man of the Lord
And he’s on the slopes
Spent all Sunday morning
Grabbing tow ropes
“Why aren’t you at church?” God screamed
“You’ll pay for this sin
Eternal damnation awaits you
You’ll forever suck”

“Please, my lord, forgive me
For I simply forgot”
“No, fool, I shall smite thee
For I’m Old Testament God and thou shalt rot”
“I’ve been a faithful servant
I don’t deserve this, see”
“Maybe you should have considered my wrath
Before you went to ski”

Cast from a chairlift
Into the pits of the underworld
Ejected from a chairlift
Punishment unfurled
Tossed from a chairlift
He falls down from the sky
Struck down from a chairlift
For skiing he must die
“So this is how I shall die
Punished for having fun?”
“You are just a peasant child
Thus your life is done”
And with these last words he spoke
The Christian died in pain
Cast from a chairlift
His training was in vain

Cast from a chairlift
Into the pits of the underworld
Ejected from a chairlift
Punishment unfurled
Tossed from a chairlift
He falls down from the sky
Struck down from a chairlift
For skiing he must die

Cast from a chairlift
Into the pits of the underworld
Ejected from a chairlift
Punishment unfurled
Tossed from a chairlift
He fell down from the roaring sky
Struck down from a chairlift
For skiing he must die