The Sick Note Why Paddys Not At Work Today
[Verse 1]
Dear sir, I write this note to you, to tell you of me plight
And at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray
And I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work, today

[Verse 2]
While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
Now, to throw them down from such a height, it was not a good idear
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he being an awkward sod
He said I'd have to take them down the ladders in me hod

[Verse 3]
Now clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel, and secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me

[Verse 4]
And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
Well, I shot up like a rocket, 'til to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down
[Verse 5]
Well the barrel broke me shoulder, as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me head
Well, I clung on tight, though numbed with shock, from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks, fourteen floors below

[Verse 6]
Now, when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope, I sped towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel scattered round

[Verse 7]
I lay there groaning on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
When the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst
Well, a shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go the bloody rope

[Verse 8]
The barrel then being heavier, it started down once more
And landed right across me as I lay upon the floor
Well, it broke three ribs, and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you understand, why Paddy's not at work today