Drunker Than Me
Well, lately I been noticin' a gradual escalation
In your inability to handle your libation
Go zero to sixty
When you get on the whiskey

Well, used to be a glass of wine an' you'd be fine all evenin'
Now I'm the one who says: "We're done," an' tells us when we're leavin'
Well, I miss the way that it was
Can't even catch a good buzz

'Cause I keep worryin' about who's drivin' home
Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone
Who'll pay the bill, call a cab
I don't mean to make you mad
But I don't want that responsibility
An' I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me

Well, I never thought it'd come to this when I said: "Have another."
'Cause, baby, you turned into me, an' I became my mother
Well, here's what I'm thinkin':
You're interferin' with my drinkin'
I think I have an answer to our present situation
'Cause you an' me out on the town's got built in limitations
So let me make this clear:
Hey I'm the one who's drinkin' here

'Cause I ain't worryin' about who's drivin' home
Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone
Who'll pay the bill, call a cab
I don't mean to make you mad
But I don't want that responsibility
An' I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me

I ain't tryin' to ruin your good time
But I damn sure ain't lettin' yours ruin mine
You ain't gonna ruin my good time, baby

I keep worryin' about who's drivin' home
Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone
Who'll pay the bill, call a cab
I don't mean to make you mad
But I don't want that responsibility
An' I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me
No, I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me, yeah