Colberts Lord of the Rings 20th Anniversary Rap aka number one trilogy
[Introduction, Stephen Colbert]
Lord of the rings is the number one trilogy!

[Introduction, Jon]
Of all time, SUCKAS!

[Chorus, Jon & Stephen]
It's the numer one trilogy
The number one trilly!
Try to deny and you just sound silly!
Worldwide gross of almost 3 billy
16 times what they made on free willy!

[Stephen Colbert]
F**k you, Whales!

[Verse 1, Jon & Stephen]
Best triple feature? Hell yeah we would win it!
We got the only trilogy with everything in it
Don't believe me? You can check for yourself
The Godfather doesn't even have one elf!
C.G.I? Oh my guy, yеa we have that s**t
Andy Serkis doing workis motion capturing it!
Star wars is bеtter? Ha you make me sick!
Jar-Jar can go ahead and suck my.... riiiiiiing!
[Chorus, "Lil Merry", "Big Pippin", "$amwi$e G", & "Frodo mothaf%#$@&' Baggins"]
Lord of the Rings is the number one trilly!
Ask Dom Monaghan
Or you can ask Billy!
Sean astin's here too?
Wow that's actually silly!
Will Elijah Woods join us?
I don't know, will he?

[Verse 2, Elijah Woods, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Sean Astin, Stephen Colbert, & Anna Kendrick]
Elf, dwarf, wizard, human, hobbits at the shire
Bring the ring to Mount Doom, and I throw it in the fire!
Such a good trill, that I wish they made 4 though
These films a better threesome than your favorite porno!
A strider
Some writers
Gollum
A spider
We got a grey wizard
And we got one that's whiter!
Best trill every baby, don't you forget!
That's right Anna Kendrick, Pitch Perfect ain't s**t!

[Non-musical dialogue, Anna Kendrick]
What the hell? I thought we were friends, damn...
[Verse 3, Elijah, Billy, Dominic, & Sean]
That's scary, he's hairy
Oh eagles in the airy
Remember when the 4 of us rode Buckleberry Ferry?
Plus we got dedication yea Viggo knows
Dude lost a tooth, and he broke 2 toes!

[Verse 4, Stephen, Jon]
Number one trilly, head of the class!
You think any different you can kiss my ass
I ain't takin no questions, so you best not ask!
Test me motherf**ker and YOUUU, SHALL NOT, PASSSSS!

[Intermission, Dom Monaghan]
Tell em Method Man!

[Verse 5, Method Man]
Lordy Lordy, we won some awards, be
Cutting down pretenders, like aragorn's sword G
17 oscars, that's king (bleep) forever
That's more than these 3 motherf**kers put together
Effects, impeccable
Costumes, unassailable
I'm only on this song because Ian Mackellan's unavailable

[Intermission, Elijah Woods]
Show 'em Mike
[Verse 6, Mike(Idk his last name lol)]
Back to the Future
Oh you got a Delorean?
We got sexy elves all over Lothlorien
An archaeologist? Sorry I'm snoring
This is Indiana Jones and the temple of boring!
Billionaire fights crime?
I don't understand-a
The Dark Knight's capitalistic propaganda
And Hockey ain't s**t, and f**k the mighty ducks
And I know it's 5 movies, but Twilight sucks!
F**k Anna Kendrick!

[Poor Anna K lol]
I'm BARELY in those movies-!

[Intermission, Orlando Bloom, Mike]
The women are gorgeous
The fellas are cute!
Let my man rap in elvish while Serkis plays the flute:

[Verse 7, Serkis, some old guy I don't recognize that's doing the elvish rapping]
Tolkien was so brilliant, that he created new languages
Do other trilogies have fully formed languages?
Blade? No. Beverly Hills Cop? Uh uh
The Da Vinci code? Dan Brown barely speaks english
Yea, I said it

[Chorus(Everyone together)]
Lord of the Rings is the number one trilly
Movie's so sick, I gotta take an advilly
When I'm sniffin daffodillies, sipping chamomilles
Lord of the Rings is the number one trilly!

[Orlando Bloom]
But, I will admit
The Naked Gun movies are pretty great

[Outro(Everyone)]
Lord of the Rings is the number one trilly
Ask anybody and they know the dilly
From Jacksonville-y, to Manila Philly
Ask all the fishes, the seaweed, the krill-y
Lord of the Rings is the number one trilly
Lord of the Rings is the number one trilly
Lord of the Rings is the number one trilly, trilly, trilly, trilly!