If My Friends Could See Me Now
If they could see me now
That little gang of mine
I'm eating fancy chow
And drinking fancy wine
I'd like those stumblebums
To see for a fact
The kind of top-drawer, first-rate chums
I attract
All I can say is "Wow,"'
Hey, look at where I am
Tonight I landed, pow!
Right in a pot of jam
What a setup! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it
If my friends could see me now

(dance break)

If they could see me now
My little dusty group
Traipsing around this
Million-dollar chicken coop
I'd hear those thrift-shop cats
Say "Brother, get her!
Laid on a bed spread made from
Three kinds of fur!"
All I can say is "Wow"
Wait till the riff and raff
See just exactly how
He'd sign his autograph
What a build-up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it
If my friends could see me now
If they could see me now
Alone with Mister V
Who's waiting on me
Like he was a maitre d'
I'd hear my buddies sayin'
"Crazy what gives?
Tonight she's livin'
Like the other half lives!"
To think the highest brow
Which I must say is he
Should pick the lowest brow
Which there's no doubt is me
What a step up! Holy cow!
They'd never believe it
They'd never believe it
If my friends could see me now

(spoken)
Hi girls! Look, it's me, Charity!