Old Rachel
Spoken:Hello boys, this is Old Rachel, been married 49 times. Never could even one man do anything with her, and that was old Bill, last she married. And this is the way she started out on old Bill

Rachel went down the street to get a glass of rye
Sign on the door said, "Rachel, walk by"
This morning, little Rachel, you'll have to keep kindly quiet

Spoken:Old Bill he's at fence, corner of Washington, he didn't know nothin' about it

Rachel down the street to get a glass of gin
Sign on the door said-a, "Rachel, step in"
This morning, little Rachel, now please keep kindly quiet

Spoken:What'd old Bill do when she walked in the saloon?

Bill jerked a rail off a picket fence
Worked on Rachel like he had some sense
This morning, little Rachel, you'll have to keep kindly quiet

Hit her 'cross the head, and he hit her 'cross the back
You oughta saw Rachel do the ball and jack
This morning, little Rachel, now please keep kindly quiet
Run old Rachel over rocks, stumps
Didn't old Rachel ever jump?
This morning, little Rachel, you'll have to keep kindly quiet, now

Took old Rachel to the milkshake stand
Rachel raised sand with the milkshake man
This morning, little Rachel, now please keep kindly quiet

Spoken:Went right on a-raisin' sand

He grabbed up a bar then tore off the door
The boys smoked Rachel with a .44
This morning, little Rachel, you'll have to keep kindly quiet, now

Spoken:What'd old Bill do to Rachel?

Shot her through the head, shot her through the side
That's the way old Rachel died
This morning, little Rachel, you're layin' mighty quiet

Sent for the doctor, the doctor come
"Good mornin', Rachel, what have you done?
This morning, little Rachel, you'd better kept kindly quiet"

Well, he looked at Rachel right through his specs
Guessed "Old Rachel done cashed her checks
"This morning, little Rachel, you better kept kindly quiet"
Spoken:Where'd old Rachel go when she died?

One leg up, toenail draggin'
Went to the Devil in a hoodoo wagon
This morning, little Rachel, you'll have to keep kindly quiet, now

Spoken:Went to the Devil raisin' sand right on

She went to the Devil with a bucket on her arm
"Good mornin', Devil, it's mighty warm"
This morning, little Rachel, now please keep kindly quiet

Spoken:How'd the Devil meet old Rachel?

Come in a walk, come in a grin
"Good mornin' Rachel, just step right in"
This morning, little Rachel, you'll have to keep kindly quiet down here, now

Spoken:Got so bad the Devil he couldn't do nothin' with her, he had to send her to another place, never heard tell of before. Where'd he send old Rachel?

Send old Rachel to the Land of Nod
Seven big devils and there wasn't nary god
This morning, little Rachel, I guess you'll keep kindly quiet, now