Everyone Knows Juanita
[RANDY]
Well, everyone knows Juanita
Her eyes each a different color
Her teeth stick out and her chin goes in
And her... knuckles, they drag on the floor

[SARAH, spoken]
Those aren't the words

[RANDY, spoken]
There are children present!

(sung)
Her hair is like a briar
She stands in a bow-legged stance
And if I weren't so ugly, she'd possibly give me a chance