They Didnt Teach Music In My School
When your calls go uncollected
And your neighbours have electrified the fence
When will you start thinking, will it sink in, will you exercise some sense
Everybody hates you, thinks it's great you've got the flu
Do you know why?

I'ts because your such a shite they'll laugh all night
With sheer delight the day you die
Your hand inside your habit, you would grab it
And emit a gasping noise
As you walked in your black cassock past the showers
And slapped the buttocks of the boys

But we got out alive
Were rich were famous
And your inside for sliding up Seamus

In our religion classes you would stare through black-rimmed glasses
Down the back
And summon up the sinner who'd regurgitated dinner to be smacked
Vomiting in terror was a tactical error he'd find
As you lowered his trews and began to bruise his behind
Picture our joy when you were caught inside a boy behind the bike shed
Oh Summer holidays forever and it's much better weather when your dead
But we got out alive
Were rich were famous
And your still inside for sliding up Seamus
Amen