Sociable Letters Letter XXXII
Madam,
Sir, D.D. and his lady had invited a great many of their friends to a feasting dinner, and [it] being set, they fell to eating, and soon after to talking for talking accompanies eating and drinking, especially at a feast. But amongst other discourses, they were speaking of marriage, husbands and wives, where Sir D.D. said somewhat that his wife had great reason to take unkindly, knowing her virtue had deserved more loving expressions from him, especially in an open assembly, which unkindness forced tears through her eyes. But they were becoming tears, for they did not cause the feature in her face to be distorted, for she appeared in her countenance sweet and admirable, as if there had been no discontent in her mind. Neither did she show any discontent in her words or behaviour, for she neither complained, nor railed at her husband, nor quarreled with him, nor rose from the table in a passion, to the disturbance of the company as most women would have done and often do when they are displeased or angered. But she wiped the tears from her eyes and addressed herself, as she did before, to entertain her friends civilly and courteously.

. . . .

The lady C.C. did not behave herself [like the wife of Sir DD], for her Husband Sir G.C. and she had invited many of their friends to a feasting dinner, and she, as the mistress to order all affairs belonging to a wife, took upon her to order the feast, and being a mode-lady, would have a mode-feast. But the cook knowing his master loved roast beef, sent in a chine of roast beef to the table. And when her guests were all set, and beginning to eat, she spied the chine of beef, whereat she was very angry to have, as she thought, her feast disgraced with an old country fashion. . . . Wherefore she to show herself a courtier rather than a country-lady, she commanded one of the waiters to take the beef from the table. Sir G.C. her husband desired not to have it taken away, for said he, “I love beef better than any other meat”. But she to express she had a lady’s nice stomach, or rather a nice lady’s stomach, said, the beef was fulsome to her eyes and made her stomach sick to see it. Her husband bad her to look upon some of the other meat, and to give him leave to eat of what he liked. But she would not agree to that . . . In fine, their words multiplied and gathered together in an outrageous tumult, raised their voices into an uproar. And then from words they went to blows, flinging whatsoever came next to hand at one another’s head. Their guests being in danger to be hurt, rose from the table, and Sir G.C. and his lady rose also and went to cuffs but their friends did soon part them. . . . As for their guests, they were rather invited to fast than to feast, as it fell out, for all the fine quelquechose was spoiled and overthrown in the hurly burly, but the beef was so substantial and solid as it strongly kept its place.

Thus, madam, I have related these feasts and entertainings, to let you know the different humours and behaviours of these two ladies, the one having cause to be angry, did patiently and discreetly pass over her injury, appearing celestial. The other out of a vain humour, fell into a raging passion. The truth is, she showed herself a fool, and behaved herself as mad. But leaving the angelic Lady to be a pattern to her sex,

I rest,

Madam,

Your Faithful Friend and Servant