In My Mind Freestyle
[Verse]
My town's a victim of hard living, prison and addiction
A graveyard of ambition I bet they didn't listen I bet they didn't notice
I grew up where the coast is
A ply on that coasters [?] was burning like the toast is
I never had a toaster
I never had a holster just to hold it in my mum's car
'Cause I didn't own it
I guess I used to loan it
I'd take it out smoke hella weed, I was only seventeen I never had a motive
I never used to focus
I'd drive in my Fiesta it was sounding like a Lotus
Listening to Skepta and the dog Psychosis
Ditching all my lectures, tell my mum I'm [?]
Tell my mum I'm taking the piss, a life to live in right now, I think I'm wasting the shit
I ain't going nowhere, I can't be patient for it
But I don't want to back it out like the latency shit so
I'm dealing with it but
I think I lost connection
I can't stick to the path because I'm rubbish with directions
I don't know what I love so I, can't show it affection
I wish that I could wake up with ideas like Inception
I, wish I wasn't destined to be sappy in reception
Answering these questions for these customers
Acting like I'm happy it's deception
Imagine I was laboring for life, drinking lager every night but in my mind I'm thinking 'bout progression
Or even I was stopped, because I'm speeding with the bag I keep my weed in
And the court decides to do me for possession
That shit would have me stressing
'Cause if you have to sin for it you know it ain't a blessing
Word to Ard Adz, I'm not above it but you won't see me in hard hats
I don't watch opinions 'cause I tend to disregard that
I love it when my phone dies, I never charge that
I just roll it, lick it, light it and then I pass that
And it gets passed back
I used to care about somebody now I think I'm past that
Like Obiri on the last lap, running like Shaquiri for revenge I need the last laugh
It's like I always need some help
Busy laying blame at doors when I should really blame myself
I should really blame me
I should really hate me
Because I shouldn't hate the dealer for the hand that I was dealt
For the path that I have chose
I hate to think at 15 I put powder up my nose just to, show off to my bros
Tryna, act like I was old but I was late to the party
Sporting Cabrini from my head to my toes
Drinking Lambrini, quick like Maldini
Standing on the corner in the cold rubbing our hands like genie
The shop, wouldn't believe me
So some olders got us cans for the road and that's normal
I hate to wear a suit and not because the feeling's awful
I just think it's weird 'cause I'm always informal
I'm not about to change for occasion, on the mains and I'm blazing
But there's people looking at us like it's our fault
My town's a victim of dark force and systems
That's why I feel this way and they telling me it's a symptom
My mum, thinks that I'm different 'cause I never want to listen
She wants me to be whole 'cause a part of me is missing
She wants me to be home because I'm staying out late
But I'm smoking at a friend's and "You can stay at our's mate"
And I can't make sense, with delaying our fate
So I finish off my zoot and I'm outtie like R8
I'm outtie like TT
I'd love to move away but every single time I go I find I'm missing these streets
And I hate it, I wish that I could change it
I'd love to do it favors but the time I got is wasted
I'm a prick, I got dreams but never chase it
I, never think I'd make it but I'm sick
So that thought I'm tryna break it, and break it into bits
That thought has left me shaken not, shaking like some hips
You got a special set of skills but, you ain't taking this
That thought I'm always fighting so I find I'm always lying
Just to deal with all these thoughts and all the pain that they providing
Thinking, maybe it'll work for me
Maybe I'll keep trying and I'll make it outta purgatory
Or maybe hope is lying and I'm stuck behind a desk until my 30s
Now the thoughts I used to have, all they do is hurt me
And I can't love nobody 'cause I never love myself
And I'm fucking up my body 'cause I wanna lose my health
I can't love nobody 'cause I never love myself
And I'm fucking up my body 'cause I wanna lose my health
[Outro]
In my mind, in my mind, in my mind I'm thinking 'bout progression
In my mind, in my mind, in my mind I'm thinking 'bout progression
In my mind, in my mind, in my mind I'm thinking 'bout progression
In my mind, in my mind, in my mind I'm thinking 'bout depression