Im so fucking scared
i hate myself
i hate myself so fucking much
i feel like i need to cry but the tears aren't fucking coming
this medication is helping me
but at the same time i wish i never took it
because it's fucking with me
it's fucking with my head
it didn't stop me from cutting myself
it only stops the intense feelings
and now it's not feeling empty all the time
it's feeling nothing all the time
it's like i don't even know if i'm real or not anymore
sorry if i'm rambling but i just need to express my feelings for once
for once in my fucking life
i need to be brave
and i can tell myself that over and over
but just telling yourself something doesn't help
not one fucking bit
you need other people to tell you
but at the same time you don't want them to lie
and even if they compliment you and they're telling the truth
you won't believe it
you can't win
you can't fucking win
fucking ever
i feel like i can't trust anyone
i feel like i'm going to die alone
i feel like nobody actually likes me
i feel like everyone's fake
i feel like i'm the only real person in the world
i feel like life's a game and the objective is to kill me
i feel nothing
all at the same time
i'm really scared
i just need someone to hold me everyday
and tell me it's going to be okay
and fucking mean it
every single fucking day
please
i'm desperate
i need you
so fucking much
there isn't words to express how much i need you right now
i'm so fucking scared