Kaput
[VERSE]
Fighting for a feeling
Even if it's fleeting
Numb out of my mind
I’m bleeding staring at the ceiling
Life is unappealing
Words are static to me
Sentences on TVs it’s an empty
Channel nothing’s happening
On mute it’s still as damaging

I hate the fact that hate exists
I hate that I’m a pessimist
Don’t wanna keep on feeling this
Don’t wanna stay so ima dip
Don’t wanna work so ima quit
Don’t have a heart that you can fix
Don’t wanna keep this cycle up
Was happy once but never since

There’ll be a time when I won’t wake up any day now
Thinking of some ways to end it whenever it rains out
Lightning hits my skin I close my eyes and pull the shades down
Gripping on the switch and thinking I should start a blackout
Went through every type of group and always stayed a cast out
People that have been with me are only talking smack now
Always switching how I’m feeling as a matter fact, how
The fuck do I stay sane when my own head feels like a guesthouse

I hate the way the I’ve become but I ain’t changing nothing
I burn the bridges that I build cause I’m afraid of judgement
Sometimes I feel like I don’t love you cause I’m always numb, and
There’s no more satisfaction with all of the skin I’m cutting

I used to like the rain until it started causing floods
I used to love my dad but then he started doing drugs
I used to wonder what it might be like to be a dove
But now I know that flying ain’t as fun when you’re a bug

I have respect for the life I was given
But I can’t help but think something is missing
Days unfulfilled finding joy is a mission
Sick in the mind don’t rely on prescriptions
So many issues don’t need an addition
Trying my best not to add an addiction
Blaming myself for my own damn afflictions
Survival of the fittest but the rich get that position

So much second-guessing sick of constantly confessing
Done with all these sessions haven’t learned my fucking lesson
I’m just looking for affection only happy for a second
Buried by depression filled with unresolved aggression
Starting up some stupid habits
Hurt your feelings call it savage
Using violence like your rabid
Chasing karats like a rabbit
Eating garbage like a maggot
Try to sleep it never happens
Seeing everything as malice
Wonderland without an Alice

Drinking poison taste of melon
Making weapons like a felon
Grab a snake I want the venom
Battle like it’s Armageddon
Not believing in a heaven
‘Cause we’re already in hell
I wonder can you tell
That I’m never doing well

Constantly reminded that the world’s a bad place
Evil on the news they shove the horrors in our face
Even if you don’t experience it you deserve a taste
Of humanity’s mistakes, yeah fuck the human race