Keep Strom Alive
Well, hello, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Senator Trent Lott of Mississippi. I am the Majority Leader of the United States Senate. Now as you may know, the Republican control of the Senate is hanging by the slimmest margin: the Senate is tied at 50/50, which means we Republicans are very concerned about the health of our most senior member, 98-year-old Republican senator Strom Thurmond of South Carolina...Glad you could see Senator Thurmond on one of his good days. Well, you know what they say, though...if something was going to happen to Strom Thurmond, it probably would have happened already

Well, can't you see that the Senate and its fate
Rest with a guy who's ninety-eight?
We smile and nod at what he said
To make you think he isn't dead

But it's all right, he's okay
He doesn't know the time of day
Prop him up, over there
Why does he have orange hair?

As long as he is drooling, the GOP is ruling
Gotta keep him alive, keep him alive
He is sure a geezer, his first term was with Caeser
Gotta keep him alive, keep him alive
Hya, huh, ha, waah!
Keep him alive...

You can see ol' Strom is still alive
Don't look a day over ninety-five
Got five girls to hang out with
I got a date with Anna Nicole Smith
'Cause I'm all right, doing great
With my grapefruits as prostate
Democrats, aimin' toward
Tryin' to unplug his cord
Check his respirator
Or it's Senate, see ya later
Gotta keep him alive, keep him alive
He's older than you're thinkin'
He babysat Abe Lincoln
Gotta keep him alive, keep him alive
Hya, hwa, woah, waah!
Will he survive?

I'm gon' outlive Dick Cheney!