Home Monologue
“Who are you seeing right now?” he asks
Just us over dinner with two separate checks
I almost dare to make a joke about him being jealous
But it would hit too close to home
“the model?” “he couldn't have been any ruder”
“the boxer?” “couldn’t get away from him sooner”
“then who do you have your heart set on?”
I swear I saw a glimmer of hope
And for a split second I let my mouth hang open
As he laughed at his own gentle joke
And in a flash to my mind came all of the times
Where we laughed so hard there were tears in her eyes and since I've seen your biggest smile I just haven't been the same
And you always call me sunshine and never by my name
And I’m your biggest fan I just want you to succeed
And I want you to be happy
I just want it to be with me
And I snap back to reality and say “a guy I met on the plane”
Nothing too attainable that could get in his way
And we kind of move on from that but
The vibe is just not quite the same
He starts to tell me a funny story
That I can't really hear
Because I can't focus when his mile stretches
Perfect from ear to ear
And I stare into his eyes
The color of neon gemstones
Or butterfly wings or the blue
On each side of a rainbow
I know what you're thinking
Peach god damn it just tell him how you feel
The thing is I did like three months ago when he still had a girl
So now we often hang out in groups of friends and seldomly alone
So I have no opportunity to look in his eyes and tell him he feels like home