Why the Hell did Lockdown have to End? AKA The Lockdown Song
[VERSE 1}
They say we're moving to Phase Three
And everything is opening gradually
Shops, hotels and pizza parlors
Soon pubs, clubs and barbers

[VERSE 2]
And up to now I had a perfect excuse
For being borderline recluse
But lockdown rules are being reverted
And that's bad news for the introverted

[VERSE 3]
Social gatherings I've been dreading
Like Mick's stag and Ciara's Wedding
Avoiding nightclubs not a chance
I'll probably even have to dance

[VERSE 4]
Ducking and diving out of invitations
Trying to avoid everyone's attentions
I like my friends, and they're good fun
I just don't like groups of more than one
[VERSE 5]
But they'll ask me and I'll have to go
Cause I'm socially awkward and I can't say "No"
For the last five months I didn't have to lie
There really was a chance that I could die...

I had the perfect excuse!
We were in lockdown

[VERSE 6]
Go for drinks with the office crowd
Awkward silence though the music's loud
Beside the IT guy who never talks
And the girl from accounts who's going through a divorce

[VERSE 7]
Sitting in the barber's chair
Oh, please don't talk, just cut my hair
Standing, waiting for a coffee
As the barista explains his life philosophy

[SPOKEN]
FOIL: You see, love is like an aura, or a shining light coming from within. I think if we could harness that..
ARMS: Could I get a flat white?

[VERSE 8]
Now I'll have to get dressed properly
Which causes me anxiety
Cause I like the sweatpants lazy look
But outside the house you're supposed to give a fuck
I'm going to miss my dressing gown
Now we're out of lockdown

[VERSE 9]
FOIL: A barbecue is overdue
ARMS: I'll be there at 10!
FOIL: But it starts at two?

Why the hell did lockdown have to end?

FOIL: Lad's holiday, can we count you in?
ARMS: God, I miss social distancing!

Why the hell did lockdown have to end?

FOIL: Poor auld Danny passed away
ARMS: Skip the funeral, I'll send a bouquet!

Why the hell did lockdown have to end?

[VERSE 10]
Oh, wouldn't it be just so serene
To live the rest of my life in quarantine?
I wouldn't have to make up lies
Pretend distant relatives had suddenly died
But I've lost the perfect excuse
Bring back lockdown

[SPOKEN]

Hey, buddy
What's the craic?
Yeah, big night, can't wait"
Going to get a taxi now
He's on the way
I'm here now

I'm not, I'm in bed