Blacklodge
I couldn’t believe it
You came into my life, left me there, speechless
I'm messed with, breathless, effect-less
I knew that this was the real thing
You connected to the real to me
I had to take it and grab it
I couldn’t betray it
I had it decided:
You were realer than truth
But I'm fucked
Man, I'm a savage
I couldn’t understand it
I left you here, un-planned it
I couldn’t tell
What it would mean if I was to become this scandalous
Here I am
I left ya, broken
Ignored ya, left ya there so lonesome
Left without a place
And I'm stuck in my mind without a space
With my life’s selfish ways
Why can’t I get a taste?
What it means to be real
What it means to be whole
All the things you gave me
All it felt unobtainable
But I am here and
I can’t pretend
I knew that this would lead to the end
But I still just chased the moment
I chased the lie
Sincerely doing whatever felt right
In the time, I just had to be alive
Cuz you got inside “us”
I faded cuz your griminess
I may say it cuz we got this
Cuz you knew how crafty I was
And I fronted with you
Cuz you see yourself with me in your dreams
But I fuck it up— I had to have the wealth
And I had— to have the dreams
And I had— I had what seems to be the way
And I can’t undo this
I said that you were to be the one
But I can’t understand what it means to be alone
And I'm stuck and now I can’t find where I'm suppose to go
Suppose to go (Where the fuck I’m suppose to go)
It was bittersweet
The way you looked into my eyes
The way you said you loved me
I loved the way that you would lie
And so...
Here it goes
You tell me
You know it’s a show
And it’s time that you must go
And all I can do is respect that
And I get that
I accept that
But I can’t seem to let go of the feelings that
Initiated this whole trap
And I know you can feel that
And so once again, we relapse
You feel the space you hear the pain
The space between my words
The words I'm hoping you’ll still hear me say
Hear me say
Hear me say
Hear me say
But for some reason you’re still standing by me
I think you get it
That I'm more complicated than I'm aware of
But what can I offer?
If my life’s a lie, and I can’t decide
Who I am, no matter what I try
Why don’t you mind?
Why don’t you mind?
Why don't you mind
That I'm falling apart, and loving it here
Loving life at the bottom
Doing everything that might make you scared
Growing so far apart
While you’re so far away
And so I wait and so I wait…
For what seems unobtainable
Some something so unobtainable
For what seems unobtainable
Something so unobtainable
And so I waited and so I wait
And so I waited and so I wait
And so I wait, so i wait
So I wait, so I wait
So I wait, so I wait