Dave Live
Thank you so much for coming to this show
It's lovely to be here and see so many familiar faces
For example, I know I saw Sharon come in
Thank you for coming, Sharon
And I think I saw Collin & John
Thank you for coming in Collin & John

You know who I can't see? (No.)

Dave
Dave?
Dave
Dave?
Dave
Dave?

Yes, you know Dave
Dave with the D & the Y in his name?
No, Dave with the F & the accented E
What?? [[??]] Dave with the dogs?
Yes, that's he. So Dave
Dave?
Yes, you know Dave
With the tree frog fingers
No, that's trenchfoot James

No, trenchfoot James lives in Susan's car
Who Susan with the [[job?]]?
No, Susan with the [[jar?]]

So Dave
Which Dave?
You know allotment Dave?
Oh, allotment Dave
And he grows the veg
And he dries his pants on the [[facilier?]] hedge
And he also grows squash
And cabbages & figs
I have never seen a cabbage that
Was quite as big as his
He's a wonderful alloter
Are you a hunter of his plums?
Well just one plum isn't too much fun
Well speaking of plums I was talking to Jim

What fat Slim-Jim?
No, Jimmy-Jim-Jim
Oh Jimmy-Jim-Jim with the Mormon wife
And the ginger son who plays the fife?
No, the woman with the ginger son is Pam
What Pam with a P?
No, Pam with a B
Like Bam?
Who's Bam?
You said Bam
No, Pam
Who Pam with an M & a B like a lamb?
Like a lamb, like a lamb

How could you forget Pam?
Oh she pushed Pam with a frying pan hand
Well speaking of Pam, I was talking to Jim

What Jimmy-Jimmy-Jim with a phantom limb?
Yeah, he feels a third limb attached to him
Well, what's he to do?
Well you're telling me
To be born with two legs & a spooky three
He'll have a hard time to find a cobbler who
Would have the skills to make a phantom shoe

He should ask the lad Dan who shouts a lot
No, that's Dane with an E who's always hot
Oh, sweaty old Dane with the veiny legs?
It's such a shame that he's bothered in the head
No, Leg Dane's head is very much alive
So which Dane's dumb?
Are you thinking of Clive?
Clive?
Clive
Clive?
Clive
Clive?
Clive
Clive?
Clive
I don't know a Clive
Oh I know Clive!

With the V & the E
And used to loiter in the back of the library
Yeah, sneaky Clive with his overdue books
And he browses science fiction with his greasy hook
I can never understand why a single man
Would choose to use a hook and not a God-given hand
That was Clive, that was Clive with his box of bees

That's how he lost his wife, Denise
He lost Denise?
Yes, he did indeed cause he spent too much time
With that box of bees

Poor Denise, Poor Denise
Rest in Peace, Box of Bees

So anyway Dave
With the F?
And the I

Just want me to tell you that he says "Hi"