The Northern Cobbler
WAÄIT till our Sally cooms in, fur thou mun a' sights1 to tell
Eh, but I be maäin glad to seeä tha sa 'arty an' well
'Cast awaäy on a disolut land wi' a vartical soon2!'
Strange fur to goä fur to think what saäilors a' seeän an' a' doon;
'Summat to drink?sa' 'ot?' I 'a nowt but Adam's wine:
What's the 'eät o' this little 'ill-side to the 'eät o' the line?

II
'What's i' tha bottle a-stanning theer? I'll tell tha. Gin
But if thou wants thy grog, tha mun goä fur it down to the inn
Naay?fur I be maäin-glad, but thaw tha was iver sa dry
Thou gits naw gin fro' the bottle theer, an' I'll tell tha why

III
Meä an' thy sister was married, when wur it? back-end o' June
Ten year sin', and wa 'greed as well as a fiddle i' tune:
I could fettle and clump owd booöts and shoes wi' the best on 'em all
As fer as fro' Thursby thurn hup to Harmsby and Hutterby Hall
We was busy as beeäs i' the bloom an' 'appy as 'art could think
An' then the babby wur burn, and then I taäkes to the drink
IV
An' I weant gaäinsaäy it, my lad, thaw I be hafe shaämed on it now
We could sing a good song at the Plow, we could sing a good song at the Plow;
Thaw once of a frosty night I slither'd an hurted my huck,3
An' I coom'd neck-an-crop soomtimes slaäpe down i' the squad an' the muck:
An' once I fowt wi' the Taäilor?not hafe ov a man, my lad?
Fur he scrawm'd an' scratted my faäce like a cat, an' it maäde'er sa mad
That Sally she turn'd a tongue-banger4 an' raäted ma, 'Sottin' thy braäins
Guzzlin' an' soäkin' an' smoäkin' an' hawmin'5 about i' the laänes
Soä sow-droonk that tha doesn not touch thy 'at to the Squire;'
An' I looök'd cock-eyed at my noäse an' I seeäd 'im a-gittin' o' fire;
But sin' I wur hallus i' liquor an' hallus as droonk as a king
Foälks' coostom flitted awaäy like a kite wi' a brokken string

V
An' Sally she wesh'd foälks' cloäths to keep the wolf fro' the door
Eh but the moor she riled me, she druv me to drink the moor
Fur I fun', when 'er hack wur turn'd, wheer Sally's owd stockin' wur 'id
An' I grabb'd the munny she maäde, and I weär'd it o' liquor, I did

VI
An' one night I cooms 'oäm like a bull gotten loose at a faäir
An' she wur a-waäitin' fo'mma, an' cryin' and teärin' 'er 'aäir
An' I tummled athurt the craädle an' sweär'd as I'd break ivry stick
O' furnitur 'ere i' the 'ouse, an' I gied our Sally a kick
An' I mash'd the taäbles an' chairs, an' she an' the babby beäl'd,6
Fur I knaw'd naw moor what I did nor a mortal beäst o' the feäld
VII
An' when I waäked i' the murnin' I seeäd that our Sally went laämed
Cos' o' the kick as I gied 'er, an' I wur dreadful ashaämed;
An' Sally wur sloomy7 an' draggle taäil'd in an owd turn gown
An' the babby's faäce wurn't wesh'd an' the 'ole 'ouse hupside down

VIII
An' then I minded our Sally sa patty an' neät an' sweeät
Strait as a pole an' cleän as a flower fro' 'ead to feeät:
An' then I minded the fust kiss I gied 'er by Thursby thurn;
Theer wur a lark a-singin' 'is best of a Sunday at murn
Couldn't see 'im, we 'eärd 'im a-mountin' oop 'igher an' 'igher
An' then 'e turn'd to the sun, an' 'e shined like a sparkle o' fire
'Doesn't tha see 'im,' she axes, 'fur I can see 'im?' an' I
Seeäd nobbut the smile o' the sun as danced in 'er pratty blue eye;
An' I says 'I mun gie tha a kiss,' an' Sally says 'Noä, thou moänt,'
But I gied 'er a kiss, an' then anoother, an' Sally says 'doänt!'

IX
An' when we coom'd into Meeätin', at fust she wur all in a tew
But, arter, we sing'd the 'ymn togither like birds on a beugh;
An' Muggins 'e preäch'd o' Hell-fire an' the loov o' God fur men
An' then upo' coomin' awaäy Sally gied me a kiss ov 'ersen

X
Heer wur a fall fro' a kiss to a kick like Saätan as fell
Down out o' heaven i' hell-fire?thaw theer's naw drinkin' i' Hell;
Meä fur to kick our Sally as kep the wolf fro' the door
All along o' the drink, fur I loov'd 'er as well as afoor
XI
Sa like a greät num-cumpus I blubber'd awaäy o' the bed?
'Weänt niver do it naw moor;' an' Sally loookt up an' she said
'I'll upowd it8 tha weänt; thou'rt like the rest o' the men
Thou'll goä sniffin' about the tap till tha does it agëan
Theer's thy hennemy, man, an' I knaws, as knaws tha sa well
That, if tha seeäs 'im an' smells 'im tha'll foller 'im slick into Hell.'

XII
'Naäy,' says I, 'fur I weänt goä sniffin' about the tap.'
'Weänt tha?' she says, an' mysen I thowt i' mysen 'mayhap.'
'Noä:' an' I started awaäy like a shot, an' down to the Hinn
An' I browt what tha seeäs stannin' theer, yon big black bottle o' gin

XIII
'That caps owt,'9 says Sally, an' saw she begins to cry
But I puts it inter 'er 'ands an' I says to 'er, 'Sally,' says I
'Stan' 'im theer i' the naäme o' the Lord an' the power ov 'is Graäce
Stan' 'im theer, fur I'll looök my hennemy strait i' the faäce
Stan' 'im theer i' the winder, an' let ma looök at 'im then
'E seeäms naw moor nor watter, an' 'e's the Divil's oän sen.'

XIV
An' I wur down i' tha mouth, couldn't do naw work an' all
Nasty an' snaggy an' shaäky, an' poonch'd my 'and wi' the hawl
But she wur a power o' coomfut, an' sattled 'ersen o' my knee
An' coäxd an' coodled me oop till ageän I feel'd mysen free

XV
An' Sally she tell'd it about, an' foälk stood a-gawmin'10 in
As thaw it wur summat bewitch'd istead of a quart o' gin;
An' some on 'em said it wur watter?an' I wur chousin' the wife
Fur I couldn't 'owd 'ands off gin, wur it nobbut to saäve my life;
An' blacksmith 'e strips me the thick ov 'is airm, an' 'e shaws it to me
Feeäl thou this! thou can't graw this upo' watter!' says he
An' Doctor 'e calls o' Sunday an' just as candles was lit
'Thou moänt do it,' he says, 'tha mun break 'im off bit by bit.'
'Thou'rt but a Methody-man,' says Parson, and laäys down 'is 'at
An' 'e points to the bottle o' gin, 'but I respeeks tha fur that;'
An' Squire, his oän very sen, walks down fro' the 'All to see
An' 'e spanks 'is 'and into mine, 'fur I respecks tha,' says 'e;
An' coostom ageän draw'd in like a wind fro' far an' wide
And browt me the booöts to be cobbled fro' hafe the coontryside

XVI
An' theer 'e stans an' theer 'e shall stan to my dying daäy;
I 'a gotten to loov 'im ageän in anoother kind of a waäy
Proud on 'im, like, my lad, an' I keeäps 'im cleän an' bright
Loovs 'im, an' roobs 'im, an' doosts 'im, an' puts 'im back i' the light

XVII
Wouldn't a pint a' sarved as well as a quart? Naw doubt:
But I liked a bigger fetter to fight wi' an fowt it out
Fine an' meller 'e mun be by this, if I cared to taäste
But I moänt, my lad, and I weänt, fur I'd feäl mysen cleän disgraäced

XVIII
An' once I said to the Missis, 'My lass, when I cooms to die
Smash the bottle to smithers, the Divil's in 'im,' said I
But arter I chaänged my mind, an' if Sally be left aloän
I'll hev 'im a-buried wi'mma an' taäkt 'im afoor the Throän

XIX
Coom thou 'eer?yon laädy a-steppin along the streeät
Doesn't tha knaw 'er?sa pratty, an' feät, an' neät, an' sweeät?
Look at the cloäths on 'er back, thebbe ammost spick-span-new
An' Tommy's faäce be as fresh as a codlin wesh'd i' the dew

XX
'Ere he our Sally an' Tommy, an' we be a-goin to dine
Baäcon an' taätes, an' a beslings-pud-din'11 an' Adam's wine;
But if tha wants ony grog tha mun goä fur it down to the Hinn
Fur I weänt shed a drop on 'is blood, noä, not fur Sally's oän kin