Christmas cypher
Um, excuse me what the actual fuck are you doing in my hou—

ANGiE A.K. died on the cross for your sins
(Ho, ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!)

[Verse 1: Blissom]
Yea you know we got that fuckin' list
And you know we're checkin' it twice
Dropping presents in the night time
Better hope you were fuckin' nice
And I don't really care
If I'm topping Mr. or Mrs. Claus
I'm just tryna get some
Of that Christmas cum

[Verse 2: afraidofthedark]
(Society)
Santa Claus is right above us
He'll hop in the vent just like Among Us
Santa Claus is right above us
Hop in the vent just like Among Us
The only thing I want for Christmas
Is a family not so religious
I'm scared what my grandpa will think when I gеt here in a skirt so suspicious
The only thing I want for Christmas
Is to bе much less ambitious
I'm scared that I'll die while my days go by and I make shitty beats
[Verse 3: flexii.]
(flexii.)
Christmas is B list (B list)
You forgot about Jesus (Jesus)
'Tis the season for the (for the) father son the holy spirit
Confessing all your sins
'Cause you know you're protestant
Never had a single bitch 'cause you practice abstine-ne-ne-ne—
Don't kiss under the mistle this Christmas
Only thing you should be kissing is Jesus
I kinda wanna kiss his penis, but I cannot sin so I must resist
Oh Jesus (Oh, oh, oh J-J-Jesus, Jesus, J-J— Je—)
Gods the only—

[Verse 4: slothchild]
(Bear Club!)
My idea of a perfect Christmas
Is hanging out with Mrs. Claus
Who the fuck gives a shit about Santa?
I'm gonna leave his ass blue-balled
'Cause Mrs. Claus has been dealing with comphet
I'm tryna ease her out of it
Snows defrosting she's kind of wet
Santa Claus owes me debt

(This song uses the Helvetica Neue type face)
[Verse 5: eclipsis]
Uh, had too much to drink
All of this eggnog went straight to my brain
Been stuffing my stocking with all this champagne
Yeah Santa is Bladee and Christmas is drained
Don't live in a house I'm in gingerbread mansion
All of the elves giving me this attention
I stack this tree to a different dimension
You got any more of these reindeer to mention?
We all in the cold and it's freezing
You know it's that time of the season
We all miss the holiday spirit
'Cause walking around I don't feel it
The slowing of molecules won't stop my flow
I'm the coldest of natural phenomena and I've been
Shoveling sleet and the snow
Yeah sure I'm a cop out, know I gotta drop out
[Interlude: ?]
[?] Santa Claus? Is this for Santa Claus?
I love Santa Claus! (Ugh)
That guy's dope (An Among Us reference?)
I hope he like (What is this, 2020?)
Stays in my chimney, or whatever so I can like (Among Us is so last year)
[?] or something
(No one cares, dude)
Ugh, dude I feel that (No one cares)
Yeah, I definitely feel that (Stop talking about, like, Christmas stuff)
(No one cares, seriously dude)
[?]

[Verse 6: cat.flp]
(Woah! cat.flp?)
(Hoe, shut the fuck—)
The only thing that I would top is a chimney
Bitch I'm a queen, I'm not kingly
Hand out the gifts, no I don't do it grimly
Put up my lights, they not dimly lit
I got a gift for you
So hurry up, open up quick
I hope you like it and you like what I get
Merry Christmas from .flp cat, yeah
Jolly Old season, it's bubbly like Fanta
I live in the present, I'm better than Santa
I don't need a reindeer, I already slay
And I'm givin' the gifts, there's one comin' your way
And I wrapped it all pretty, took more than a minute
I hope that you smile when you see what's in it
Just kidding, I don't hope, I know that you'll love it
And go check your stocking, I made sure to stuff it
[Verse 7: Cullan]
All I want for Christmas is to gargle balls
Suck it from the back, make him paint the walls
Don't want no coal but I do want his sack
Sounding like Mariah when he hit it from the back
Love the Jewish boys too, mazel tov
I like 'em with the skin, and I like it cut off
Ya boy is like Starbucks, welcomes all religions
So happy holidays, now give me your semen
Gotta give a shout out to the big Jeezy Christ
Without his love and wisdom, I would have no light
Don't know where I'd be without him to guide me
So this year I'm thankful for a man inside me
I'm loving Christmas (yuh)
I got hot boys on my Wishlist (yuh)
Stay the fuck outta my business (fuck)
I'll fuck your dad and then ask for forgiveness

[Verse 8: leastfavorite!]
I-I-I-I-I-I-I been fuckin' Mr. Claus when his wife isn't looking
She be in the kitchen with the elves makin' me cookies
Drinkin' Santa's milk, it tastes like sugar and spice
Ima leave Saint Nick feelin' naughty and nice (Ho-ho-ho!)
She found me out and now I cannot stay here
Hop in the whip and it's powered by reindeer
Then we take flight and I'm feelin' so wintery
Second time tonight I'm handlin' deliveries
Got these two lists but I'm not gonna check
You get presents if you're trans and you listen to Gecs

[Verse 9: Z the Stranger]
Candy painted whip, get to flying with a big bag
Got the red suit, Steve Harvey keep the shit stashed
Gone around the world so many times, it gave me whip lash
Put you on the naughty list, sit down with your bitch ass
Stocking hung up, leave a sock on the doorknob
Got your man sipping my eggnog, wishing you’re on
What I be on, I’m beyond this shit
You’re just another elf for me to pee on, now be honest
Do you think your spirit is enough to step to me, you’re peasantry
I put candles on your deadened tree
You got coals nearby, the shit’s spreading
Your presence in the present leaves you present-free
Cracking eggs in the winter like Vespertine
Put the holly in the blunt, now I’m focused, been the coldest
Blowing clouds to the sky so it keeps snowing
Eat the— (Ha-Hahaha)

[Jersey Club Section]
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce
(Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce)
Wanna give it to ya all night long or from the
(Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce)
Back but now I wanna snatch my cat back (You know ya—)

[Verse 10: boxkitty]
[?]
(Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha)
[?] compare
(Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha)
(Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha)
(Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha)
(Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha)
(Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha)
(Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha)
[?] Christmas
(Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha)

(This is a certified hood classic)
[Verse 11: futureseeker]
Wake up, 5 am, got me feeling crazy
Didn't sleep enough, yeah I'm seein' hazy
That's just Christmas morning, I've been waiting 8 weeks
Feel like a kid again but I'm just nineteen
Once upon a time I was feeling care free
Beyblades in the stocking, rip a spinnin' guillotine
Yeah, but now I'm worried, tryna set their heads free
That's just growing up, headless Santa, watch him bleed

[Verse 12: julix]
Tell a little elf bitch, run they shit
Naughty or nice I hit devious licks
Stealing all the toys out the back, fuck your whip
Middle finger in the air, I feel like the Grinch
Jingle Bell Rock suck my girl cock
Dropping these toys all around the block
Sippin' on 'nog by the yule log
Checking my stocking, hope I get something pog
Switch up the flow like New Horizons
Who's the president? Joe (Byron)
Are you vaccinated? Hell yeah
Are you vaccinated? Hell yeah
(Hahahahahahahaha)

[Verse 13: Khromatic]
Don’t you “ho ho” me, do you know what I’m about?
I’m the little drummer girl that’s stickin’ her dick in Mrs. Claus’s mouth
Sorry this is how you’re findin’ out, but your time ran out
Let me finish ending her drought
I’m a certified gingerbread homewrecker
You’re a piece of shit who ain’t got nothin’ better
Did you like this gift? Was it on your wish list?
See you next year, have a merry fucking Christmas

[Verse 14: Skyeee5554]
(Charli XCX: Don't let me, don't let me go)
I'm so sorry
(I just wanna let you know that I'm no angel)
Fuck- off-
(But I can learn, oh)
I been on my grind
Fuck- off-
(Baby, I'm bad to the bone)
Don't- need you
(I just wanna let you know that I'm no angel)
Kiss it, Santa
Boys tryna text, are you obsessed?
(But I can learn)
Parents ask "do you know 'em"?
Full send snow and shovel, I Spleef 'em
This Christmas Imma pop off
Always on form, what you do wrong?
Is that enough Christmas for you?

(Get down the Mountain Dew and listen to ANGiE A.K.)
[Verse 15: GRIMVVICE]
It's a GRIMVVICE Christmas
Mrs. Klaus going crazy but I just put the tip in
Eggnog with the Smirnoff yeah that's what I'm sippin'
Ima give Ari everything on her wish list
Fuck coal, if you're naughty I'm sending goons to your home
And we gonna end with a— (Oh, don't do it, yeah—, oh my God)
Me and Santa not the same but we both got hoes
She love Christmas so much she put white in her nose
Diamonds from the North Pole the way they froze
Sorry for the frostbite the way I keep on your toes
If you ain't rock with HA you can't rock with me
Happy holidays from the NYC
Set this shit on fire like the Fox News tree

[Verse 16: f1nley]
Built a gingerbread house out of thin fucking air
Last week's the buzz of a lifetime, bet y'all don't fucking care
Nebita up in my DM's said they'd annotate the lines
Y'all don't mess with me or I'm goin' make another doc in no time
Spent the last day on the motherfuckin' lore grind
Got the process down with the notes, it's all streamlined
Shawty hit me up with Santa's cookies on the counter
I said "babe, check your Goopmail", feel so lake when I'm around her

[Verse 17: phosphine]
I really like Christmas, I think that it's the shit
Don't fuck with my wish list, I won't be cool with it
Just kidding, it's not a big deal
I just wanted to eat this meal
That you made for us to eat
You did a great job on the meat
I can't wait for the meet and greet
I can't wait to eat all the treats
I'm too young to drink Eggnog, but it's okay I'll come along
This has been my Christmas verse
I hope you like it, it's the worst
I wrote the lyrics in like, five minutes
That's all I got, Merry Christmas

(B-b-b-b-bangarang! Bass—)
[Verse 18: nyancrimew]
This is revenge of the naughty kids
Hacking Santa with our root kits
All Santas are bastards
Cracking his crypto, easy peasy, RSA
Root shells on his fucking PDA
(B-b-b-b-bangarang! Bass—)
Been wishing for gifts for years
All I ever get are my own tears
Ima kill that bastard with a knife
And have gay sex with his wife
All Santas are bastards
(B-b-b-b-bangarang! Bass—)

[Interlude: Talking]
So, that's my portfolio, I'll give you uh— I could give you another one if you want
Can we— can we just get like a— an [?] sample pack where it's just— them making bed sound— bed s—
(I— I...)
[?] are you having a stroke?
I'm— My bed is squeaking!

[Chorus: mothgirl]
My heart is frosty
Baby, will you love me?
Mistletoe just kiss me
Hold my hand, it’s cold outside
Be my north star shining in the sky
Meet me in the manger show me how to fly
Turn my water into wine
Promise me it'll be fine
After all, it's Christmas time
After all, it's Christmas time
It's Christmas time

[Chorus: mothgirl]
My heart is frosty
Baby, will you love me?
Mistletoe just kiss me
Hold my hand, it’s cold outside
Be my north star shining in the sky
Meet me in the manger show me how to fly
Turn my water into wine
Promise me it'll be fine
After all, it's Christmas time
After all, it's Christmas time
It's Christmas time