Paperboy with G-Rated Lyrics
What if Paperboy had lyrics?
And what if I sang them accompanied by The Konami Kode
A supa-cool video game cover band?
It'd sound like this
But first, I'd have to, ya know
Ride over this little ravine and throw a newspaper at a target for some reason
And then at the very end, there's all these people in bleachers
By "all these people" I mean like three people in bleachers
But they're cheering for some reason
I don't really know what that was about, but whatever
Here we go

Don't you know me?
I'm your paperboy
Throwing bundles of newspaper joy
This neighborhood's a loony bin
I'd rather throw the news in Compton
If you live here, you're probably crazy
Lock your dog up, stop that baby!

I'm on duty, it's all about discipline
Please don't strike me with that rolling pin
I sometimes miss when I throw
Sorry I broke your window
Can't maneuver over sewer drains
Which is funny, 'cause it never rains

Oh, ho, ho!
Oh, well!
I didn't realize you were gonna break it down like this, Konami Kode!
Okay, okay!
You know, I, I kind of appreciate it
I don't have to write lyrics over breakdowns
You guys are just adding CD time!

Said a-tick, said a-tock
Said a-tick, said a-tock
A-ticky and a-tocky and a-tick tock tick
Dude, John is tearing it up on that bass, man!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Also, mm-hmm

Where you at, Paul?
Mm-hmm!
Oh, yeah!
Great on the keys, I like that!
Now, where's Nick?
Oh-ho, oh-ho, okay
You didn't have to show up right away
Uh-huh
Dude, Paperboy has never rocked like this
This is exactly how that little 8-bit paperboy would have wanted it
Anyway, uh, I'm gonna stop talking over this instrumental break
Just to let you enjoy the jazz-fusion-rock loveliness that is the Konami Kode
Just give ya a minute or two

A man-fro
Likes to tear it up on the drums

Yeah!
Can't stop riding, it's just what I do
My bike pedals are glazed with superglue
I'm on my bike, perpetually
I lay in bed, bike lays with me

On this side street, rules are strict and tight
New subscribers, paint your house white
I have nightmares, shaking at the wheel
Then I wake up and do it for real

They make me wear this backwards hat
Why are you rolling tires down your driveway, please don't do that!
Now it's Sunday, I am done, I'm out
No more papers, no mo' paper route
I'm gonna get a job at Walmart