Tchaikovsky and Other Russians
[RINGMASTER]
Ladies and gentlemen, I take pride in introducing
The Greatest Show on Earth
Liza Elliott's gargantuan three-ring circus
Featuring for the first time
The captivating and tantalizing Liza Elliott
The woman who cannot make up her mind!
(spoken)
Order in the courtroom. Ah, the charges against Liza Elliott
(sung)
Whereas

[ENSEMBLE]
Whereas

[RINGMASTER]
Liza Elliott cannot make up her mind
About the Easter cover or the circus cover
Secundus

[ENSEMBLE]
Secundus
[RINGMASTER]
Liza Elliott cannot make up her mind
Whether she is marrying Kendall Nesbitt or not
Moreover

[ENSEMBLE]
Moreover

[RINGMASTER]
Liza Elliott cannot make up her mind
As to the kind of woman she wants to be
The executive or the enchantress
And in as much as

[ENSEMBLE]
In as much as

[RINGMASTER]
In a world where tumult and turmoil reign
These indecisions of Liza Elliott only add to the confusions
Of an already, as indicated, confused world
Therefore be it resolved

[ENSEMBLE]
Be it resolved
[RINGMASTER]
That Liza Elliott be brought to trial
And be made to make up her mind

[ENSEMBLE]
Yay!

[RINGMASTER, spoken]
I should like to introduce that peerless witness, Kendall Nesbitt

[ENSEMBLE]
Yay!

[RINGMASTER, spoken]
Mr. Nesbitt, you are divorcing your wife so you can be free to marry the defendant, isn't that so?

[NESBITT, spoken]
Yes sir. 

[RINGMASTER, spoken]
You were led to believe the defendant would marry you when, as, and if. 

[NESBITT, spoken]
Yes sir. 

[RINGMASTER, spoken]
But now she refuses to make up her mind. 
[NESBITT, spoken]
Yes sir!

[RINGMASTER, spoken]
You gave her the best years of your life and yet she refuses to be your wife!

[NESBITT, spoken]
Yes sir!

[RINGMASTER]
He gave her the best years of his life
She was, shall we call it, his mistress?
'Twas only for her he's divorcing his wife
And now the man's in a distress
The mister who once was the master of two
Would make of his mistress his Mrs
But he's missed out on Mrs. for the mistress is through
What a mess of a mish mash this is
(spoken)
Ha ha ha!
You know, I like that music. Who wrote it?

[ENSEMBLE, spoken]
Tchaikovsky!

[RINGMASTER, spoken]
Tchaikovsky? I love Russian composers
(sung)
There's Maliszewski, Rubinstein, Arensky, and Tchaikovsky
Sapellnikoff, Dmitriev, Tcherepnin, Kryzhanovsky
Godowsky, Artsybushev, Moniuszko, Akimenko
Soloviev, Prokofiev, Tiomkin, Koreshchenko

There's Glinka, Winkler, Bortniansky, Rebikov, Ilyinsky
There's Medtner, Balakirev, Zolotarev and Khvoshchinsky
And Sokolov and Kopylov, Dukelsky and Klenovsky
And Shostakovich, Borodin, Glière, and Nowakowsky

There's Lyadov and Karganoff, Markevitch, Panchenko
And Dargomyzhsky, Shcherbachov, Scriabin, Vasilenko
Stravinsky, Rimsky-Korsakov, Mussorgsky, and Gretchaninov
And Glazunov and César Cui, Kalinnikov, Rachmaninoff

Stravinsky and Gretchaninov
Rumshinsky and Rachmaninoff
I really have to stop because we all have undergone enough!

[ENSEMBLE]
Stravinsky!

[RINGMASTER]
Gretchaninov!

[ENSEMBLE]
Rumshinsky!

[RINGMASTER]
Rachmaninoff!

[RINGMASTER & ENSEMBLE]
I'd (He'd) better stop because we feel
We all have undergone enough!