Is This Any Way To Run An Airline
Oh, the airline ticket reservation counter lady
Is a very special friend of mine
When I asked her in the morning if my flight was ready
She assured me it was right on time
Oh, the taxi to the airport cost me seven or eight
And the porter got another buck or two
When some joker on the microphone said, “Sorreee
But we've got a little bad news for you”

It's getting cloudy up in Boston
Montreal is socked in tight
Washington is closed for Christmas
Philadelphia's out on strike
Minnesota's up to here in snow
And Tulsa's closed tonight you know
Please be patient five more minutes
Hope you have a pleasant flight

Oh, the airline passenger relations representative
Was very sympathetic to me
Just as soon as we completely overhaul your astro-liner
You’ll be airborne just as quick as can be
Then of course we'll need a stewardess but never you mind
We'll have one trained in plenty of time
Won't you settle in our astro-lounge in comfort
We'll be leaving at a quarter of nine
But the astro-lounge was crowded
And the coffee shop was crammed
The coke machine was broken
And they closed the hot dog stand
I couldn't find a magazine
They broke the cigarette machine
The shoeshine boy was sleeping
And my radio was jammed

Oh, I carefully examined every corner of the building
For the next fourteen hours or so
And the bulletins kept coming from the reservation counter
“Yessiree we're getting ready to go
For we're flying in another plane from London you see
Any minute now that plane should appear
You'll be leaving in a minute, providing
This little bit of nasty weather should clear”

For it's getting cloudy up in Boston
And it's snowing up in Maine
Los Angeles is hopeless
And Chicago's getting rain
You've had a couple dirty days
But your ticket's good for thirty days
And when the runway is completed
Would you like to board your plan