Cornpop Monologue
I learned a lot.
And I learned that it makes a difference.
This was the diving board area,
and I was one of the guards,
and they weren’t allowed to –
it was a 3-meter board.
And if you fell off sideways,
you landed on the damn,
er, darn cement over there.

And Corn Pop was a bad dude.
And he ran a bunch of bad boys.
And I did and back in those days –
to show how things have changed –
one of the things you had to use,
If you used Pomade in your hair,
you had to wear a baby cap.
And so he was up on the board
and wouldn’t listen to me.
I said,
‘Hey, Esther, you!
Off the board, or
I’ll come up and drag you off.’
Well, he came off,
and he said,
‘I’ll meet you outside.’
My car this –
was mostly,
these were all public housing behind us,
My car –
there was a gate on here.
I parked my car outside the gate.
And I –
and he said,
‘I’ll be waiting for you.
He was waiting for me with
three guys with straight razors.
Not a joke.
There was a guy named
Bill Wright Mouse
the only white guy
and he did all the pools.
He was a mechanic.
And I said,
‘What am I gonna do?’
And he said.
‘Come down here
in the basement,
where mechanics –
all the mechanics –
where all the pool builder is.’
You know the chain,
there used to be a chain
that went across the deep end.
And he cut off a six-foot
length of chain,
and folded it up
and he said,
‘You walk out with that chain,
and you walk to the car and say,
‘you may cut me man,
but I’m gonna wrap
this chain around your you head
I said,
‘You’re kidding me.’
He said,
‘No if you don’t,
don’t come back.’
And he was right.
So I walked out with the chain.
And I walked up to my car.
And in those days,
you remember the straight razors,
you had to bang ’em on the curb,
gettin’ em rusty,
puttin’ em in the rain barrel,
gettin’ em rusty?
And I looked at him,
but I was smart,
then. I said,
‘First of all,’ I said,
‘when I tell you to get off the board,
you get off the board,
and I’ll kick you out again,
but I shouldn’t have called you
Esther Williams,
and I apologize for that.
I apologize.’
But I didn’t know that apology
was gonna work.
He said,
‘you apologize to me?'
I said,
‘I apologize but not for throwing you out,
but I apologize for what I said.’
He said, ‘OK,’
closed that straight razor,
and my heart began to beat again.