I Want a Refund
[Verse 1]
One Tuesday, near the Jamba Juice, I saw a tiny shop
It was selling superpowers at a thousand bucks a pop
Now, I was feeling really hurt; I was dumped the day before
I asked for invulnerability, and the merchant answered “sure.”

[Chorus]
And now laser beams bounce off of me
And bullets do the same
And sticks and stones can’t break my bones
But what about the names?
I wanted to be safe from pain
I wanted to be free
Turns out invulnerability
Ain’t what it’s s’posed to be

[Verse 2]
I spend my days fighting crime, working with goodwill
’Causе with great power, blah blah blah, I’m sure you know thе drill
But every night I’m at the mall looking for a tiny store
And if I ever find that one again, they’re gonna hear me roar
[Chorus]
’Cause laser beams bounce off of me
And bullets do the same
And sticks and stones can’t break my bones
But what about the names?
I wanted to be safe from pain
I wanted to be free
Turns out invulnerability
Ain’t what it’s s’posed to be

[Post-Chorus]
“Just sign here,” said the merchant
“The fine print’s legal jargon!”
But later on, I read it
It clarified the bargain:

[Bridge]
Our service has limits, you’re sure to find out
It won’t change dysphoria, shame, or self-doubt
Your empathy won’t be affected a smidge
Tell your best friend: keep away from the fridge
People may hate you, in spite of your help
Folks that you save may be hateful on Yelp
Imprudent investments will cost you your shirt
Though nothing can touch you, you still can be hurt!
[Chorus]
And now laser beams bounce off of me
And bullets do the same
And sticks and stones can’t break my bones
But what about the names?
I wanted to be safe from pain
I wanted to be free
Turns out invulnerability
Ain’t what it’s s’posed to be

[Outro]
(I want a refund!)