Terms and Conditions
These are the terms and conditions for living in the UK
First, abandon kindness, it’s a fools game
Oh it’s a shame you went to state school in the first place
That’ll keep you two steps down in the rat race
You need to learn to hate: America, Russia, Climate change, China, rich cunts and poor cunts the weather and the tax rates
All the fuckers telling you to isolate
Labour and the Liberals and the Greens and the Tory state
Feminism, snowflakes, the EDL
Hate everyone and еverything ‘til you can’t even stand yoursеlf
Hate the fact you need money
Hate all those who want money
Hate the fucking game and the taste for wealth
And find love in beer and drugs and crime
The glory days before the others all arrived
Seek pride in your nation’s contribution in the war, watch films bout soldiers and cry at what they died for

A fuck ton of corruption in the Houses and the courts
The Great British Arse that soars
Right before it shits all over its own people in hoards
In education, policy, tooth and claw
And then somewhere…between the crackheads and the Lords
And the people who believe ‘em and the police force
Is a most glorious nation of pride and patience
No. I’m only joking of course
We don’t smile too much around here love
Wipe it off your face
Our terms and conditions consist of hate

Part two of the UK’s terms and conditions
For all but the wealthy and the first class citizens
To anyone poor or born outside of Britain
You must follow the following conditions, yes

Okay so what you’re saying is the rules don’t apply
To anyone with a winning lottery ticket as a bloodline
No, the fact is in practice the rules do apply with the exceptions of taxes and covid guidelines
Amongst other things, you know, murder, lies, with money there’s no such thing as a crime
Okay so what you’re saying is your conditions is money making
No, not money making money taking
Money taking? Yes
Money taking after that money saving placing said money in savings

So great not greed aspirations see aspirations for those with a first class degree
Why of course and a delectable family tree
Your conditions favour the aristocracy
It’s the equivalent of sitting in a stadium seat
Stand up for a better view the guy behind can’t see
Basically your T’s and C’s mean liberty
But freedom doesn’t recognise poverty
Oh, shit, so

Smile, smile, smile as you have much to be thankful for
These terms and conditions were never truly yours
For the taking
Did you have me mistaken when you came to this country half way
With the silly little dreams of a child half-baked
And the mind of an animal scrounging for bait
Did you forget about me? It seems you did
I’m the fucking man I decide who lives and dies
You are nothing
But the blood between my eyes and
I’d agree with each part of me that you are doomed for all of time
To revoke my spell songs protest please step in line