Holiday
When the baby pukes on your favourite boots
When your daddy farts on his credit cards
When your sister's smashed and your car is trashed
Grandma lost her hair - yes-ter-day it was there
And the cheesy smell makes you think you've gone to hell

It's holiday, it's holiday
The best time of the year...

Brother likes the seňoritas a new one every day
Now he's got this funny rash that won't seem to go away
The twins ate calamaries now they're puking all the while
And fifty thousand cucarachas greet you with a smile

It's holiday, it's holiday
The best time of the year...

When the car breaks down and it's belching clouds of smoke
When someone nicked your wallet and the kids are snorting coke
When father kicks the tyres while mama's kicking him
Shouting he's a "loser" and she'll tear him limb from limb
It's holiday, it's holiday
The best time of the year...

But the camping site is cheesy and mother's feeling queasy
And the twins have diarrhoea it's the same thing every year
The food is "a l'ajilio" and my shoes are full of sand
And father's getting sun-burned coz he never gets a tan
And grandma's found this waiter I think his name's Francisco
And while grandpa drinks sangria they're practising flamenco

Coz you're on holiday yea, you're on holiday yea
You're on holiday the best time of the year...
Coz you're on holiday yea, you're on holiday
We're all on holiday - the best time of the year...

The kids got sick - our wallets got nicked - the car broke down - far away from town
- the boot is stuck - and we're right behind this truck - the radio's broke - all it plays is "folk"
- the tires are flat - and I don't know where we're at - I've lost my phone - and I just can't wait
To get home

Another holiday - another fucking holiday
Yes it's a holiday - the best (fucking) time of the year...