The Fadeaway
[Verse 1]
We've been on a bunch of dates
I weigh debates that this creates
And hate that state of forced introspection

We traded wit, we swapped some spit
You fingered me a little bit
But we never really had a connection

You did nothing wrong, I have no excuse
Just my intuition telling me we shouldn't reproduce

[Verse 2]
I know I have to end it
But pretend to just suspend it
By contending that I'm busy all week

I let the foregone linger on
Text back with an emoticon
Withdraw from you by being oblique
Inside I know my tactics just delay it
But I'll do anything so I don't have to say it

[Pre-Chorus]
I'll draw this out forever like Vietnam
Then one day I'll be gone like Bambi's mom
Aww!

[Chorus]
'Cause there's the right thing to do
Then there's what I'm gonna do
There's much I should say
But instead, I do the fadeaway
(Fadeaway)

[Verse 3]
Now I'm a fading like chalk on a sidewalk
Or the polio virus after Jonas Salk
The erection of a man on antidepressants
The cast of Different Strokes after adolescence

A Jewish guy in Sizzler on Yom Kippur
The Whig Party post Millard Fillmore
Reproductive rights below the Mason-Dixon
Native Americans after the barter system
Your thyroid gland after Hashimoto
The family in the Back to the Future photo!
Yeah, I fadeaway

[Verse 4]
We say that men are assholes who don't communicate
We revel in our victimhood and amplify our hate
We find ways to be indignant like it's a sport
Then dissect their malignance with the views we distort

The way men breakup may be sloppy and terse
What they do is bad, but what we do is worse

[Verse 5]
We pretend to ourselves it's the nice thing to do
To let you down gently by just not fucking telling you
And deep down we know it's the worst way to play it
But we are what we have... huge pussies!

And women are hypocrites
Especially ones in comedy bands
We see your faults but not our own
Then we wonder why we're all alone

We fill you up with maybes, excuses, and stalls
But like a baby in China
It's better to have balls (Balls!)
[Pre-Chorus]
Not the Good Wife type like Christine Baranski
So I'll pull out and leave like I'm Roman Polanski
Aww!

[Chorus]
'Cause there's the right thing to do
Then there's what I'm gonna do
There's so much I should say
But instead, I do the fadeaway
(Fadeaway)

[Verse 6]
Like Verbal Kint fading into Keyser Soze
The rights in Arizona for a guy named Jose
Opportunities for a college grad
The love between your mom and dad

Gonna Peter out like a gay Cetera
Iranian relations since the Reagan era
Black Nike sales after Heaven's Gate
Summer camp attendance at Penn State

The name Adolph after World War II
Like Debbie Gibson's pop career out of the blue!
Yeah, I fadeaway

[Outro]
'Cause I don't wanna get to know you
I just want to blow you... off