Wont Stay Down
There’s a serious issue
Affecting millions every day
I don’t know how we’ll ever escape it
Something so uncontrollable
A bit of life that goes astray
And we just don’t have the means to reshape it
It may seem a minor burden
The tiniest detail
But whenever it's shown up it proves I'm no grown up
And feels like an epic fail

I’ve got a cowlick
Right here at my hairline
I’ve got a cowlick
It's extremely bad design
Oh, I can fool myself
That I’m rocking this ravishing gown
But my cowlick pops up and it just won't stay down

What am I supposed to do
With this rebel clump of hair
No spray, no brush, no dryer can tame it
There's no chance of looking cool
When I see that awkward stare
From everyone who's too polite to name it
But I sense their eyes upon me
And I know I've lost my power
No longer the alpha, I feel like Alfalfa
Why did I bother to shower?
I’ve got a cowlick
I should rig myself a wig
I’ve got a cowlick
No one digs a spike this big
Oh, I can fool myself
That I’m seen as a queen not a clown
But my cowlick pops up and it just won't stay down

Oh, I hate to go out, I can't take any more
I'm a shell of the woman I was
Got a baseball cap on when I go to the store
And this misery's happening because
Of this word, this stupid word
It sounds like centuries ago on a farm
Someone’s head got licked by a cow
And the enzymes in the saliva ruined that section of hair
And everyone made fun of it forever
Is that really the etymology?
Wait, is etymology even the right word?
Entomology?
No, I think one of those is the study of insects
Which I would definitely rather not discuss
Cowlicks clearly aren’t caused by actual cows
I know this because I’ve never been near a cow

But I've got a cowlick
This wispy little twit
One stubborn cowlick
And it's so hard to outwit
And I've tried every way
But there's no way that I've found
To keep this frizz at bay
I've shellacked it and smacked it around
And on my dying day
As they're laying me into the ground
My cowlick will pop up and it just won't stay down
Won’t stay down
Moo-oooooo