The Oogiloves  The Big Balloon Adventure
The Oogieloves and the Big Balloon Adventure - The Search for the Worst - IHEIntro

I HATE EVERYTHING: What is the worst movie you've ever seen? No, I'm not talking about Transformers 2 or Grown Ups 2; I mean a movie so bad, so fundamentally broken that it leaves a pit in your stomach or makes you feel frustrated and angry beyond any reasonable measure. This is a question I've been asking myself for a while, and I think it's about time to do something about it, so I've pulled up the list of the bottom 100 lowest rated films on IMDb, and I'm going through them one-by-one to find the worst movie ever. Welcome to the Search for the Worst.

Titles

The main video

As Alex speaks, images and video clips pop up to illustrate his points.

IHE: The Oogieloves and the Big Balloon Adventure is the worst thing in the history of anything ever, and I really mean it this time. Usually when I make these videos I jot down notes so I have reference points for when I'm writing and editing. Typically I write about three pages, but look at the notes I did for this movie:

Alex turns to a page in his notebook which has about four bullet points, followed by a grotesque drawing of an Oogielove-like creature with words "FUCK EVERYTHING" written above, filling the rest of the page.

Yeah...

Where am I supposed to start? What am I even supposed to say? Well weirdly enough this movie has a disturbing amount in common with Foodfight; it even shares some of the same cast.

An awkwardly edited scene from the film showing Christopher Lloyd dancing various different world dances (badly) with a red-dress-clad flamenco dancer. The words "I did not edit this" appear at the bottom of the screen.

Much in the same way like Foodfight was left in Purgatory, the Oogieloves was actually finished way back in 2009, but the producer wanted to patent the way this film tries to interact with the audience by showing butterflies to encourage you to stand up and dance but then show you some turtles to tell you when to stop dancing and sit the fuck down. More interesting though is that this movie set a new box office record for the lowest opening gross for a film playing at over 2000 theatres.
You can probably guess by now that I hate this movie so much that I think I might pass out. No, really, I think this is the most painful one of these so far. It was a sensory bombardment of obnoxious colour, sound effects, horrible acting, horrible voices, cringeworthy CG and greenscreen and awful celebrity cameos. Not to mention that it's filled with communist propaganda, blatant sexism and offensive references to 9/11. O.K. that's a lie, but you have to admit you got a little bit excited there, just the idea that I'd have something interesting to talk about with this movie. Well, guess what? I don't.

So I guess this is the part where I go through what happens in the movie. I mean, I'll try, but this movie is aimed at an audience so young that nothing tangible really happens that I can describe. So the basic plot... Jesus Christ, that word really doesn't apply to this movie. Nothing applies to this movie. It's hardly even a movie. But the Oogieloves are trying to get back these five balloons for their really creepy pillow friend...

It zooms in on the pillow's face and a scream is heard.

... because this fucking stupid moron manages to let go of them.

The hoover is shown outside, losing his grip on the five balloons.

So the entire film is basically the Oogieloves going to a place, a random celebrity showing up, they sing a couple of really awful - and I mean really awful - repetitive songs, then they get one of the balloons, then repeat five times until it's over.

We cut to a scene where one of the Oogieloves is at the top of a tree where she finds one of the balloons.

TOOFIE: It's never as much fun as climbing up.

BALLOON: Just hold onto my string. I'll help you down.

It pauses on Toofie's face.

IHE: This movie tries so hard to be harmless and inoffensive that it actually starts to become highly offensive and insulting. Well, it might be because I'm watching a movie intended for 2-month-old babies. After finishing this movie I just went and stood outside and gazed into the sky. We live on a planet with so much to offer: so much colour, mystery, intrigue and amazement, and I just sat there for an hour-and-a-half watching the fucking Oogieloves.

The saddest part was when Chazz Parlminteri appeared in the film and kept going:

Parlminteri is shown in the a diner, dancing.
CHAZZ: Ooh... ooh... ooh... ah, ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh-la... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh

IHE: I like to think that reason he keeps doing it is that every time he goes:

CHAZZ: Ooh

IHE: ... is because it's his body recoiling in pain because it's just hit him that he's a character in the Oogieloves, and it's his subconscious slowly trying to fight his way out of it, but the allure of a fat Oogie paycheck is just too much for him to withstand. I mean, really, though, you can criticise these actors for being in the Oogieloves all you want, but if you were offered 50,000 dollars to be in The Oogieloves 2 you'd be the first to say, "where's the nearest Oogie suit? Let's film this bitch!.

There was this one really weird part where...

As he speaks, the scene he is referencing to appears onscreen.

1, 2, 1 2 3, Windy Window, what do you see? 1, 2, 1 2 3, Windy Window, please show me!

OK, wow, I'm sorry about that. I have no idea why I did that. There is something weird going on with this movie. I think the Oogieloves are trying to-

Another scene is shown, which Alex recites the words to.

Goofy Toofie, pick up your pants!

No... please, movie, stop! I can't withstand the lure of the Oogieloves. What has this movie done to me? Somebody please hel-

Alex recites another rhyme.

Testing, testing, wam, bam, pow! Goobielove, can you hear me now?
Suddenly recordings of Alex reciting the three rhymes are layered on top of each other while scenes from the film appear onscreen, while the words, "You will OBEY the Oogieloves" flashing up every now and then.

IHE: Woah, OK, OK, I-I-I'm back. So, so what was I saying again? Oh yeah, The Oogieloves is the greatest thing to exist in the history of anything ever, and I totally wasn't brainwashed into saying this because the movie has subliminal messages that make me want to endorse this movie, then buy four hundred and twelve copies of it on DVD. The nuanced story, the complex characters and hilarious comedy that the whole family can enjoy are just a few of the things you can expect to enjoy when you pick up Oogieloves on DVD today.

CHAZZ: Ooh, my favourite.

IHE: I Hate Everything gave this a 40billion out of 10. It's the greatest movie of all time. Watch out The Shawshank Redemption; I think The Oogieloves is on its way to a higher IMDb score than you. No, really, look, it's already at a 7.3. 87.9% of people gave it a 10, and I'm one of those people, because this movie's a masterpiece.

So let's have a look at where The Oogieloves stands in the Search for the Oogielove. Well, it's not quite as good as Oogielove, but there are a couple of things that make it slightly better than Oogielove, but Oogielove was so bad that to find that Oogielove was in comparison to Oogielove, Oogielove, Oogielove, Oogielove, Oogie-love.

No, but really, this is the worst movie so far in the Search for the Worst. Fuck this movie.

The Wheel of the Worst

WHEEL: So what's up next in the Search for the Worst?

The wheel spins. Every space is occupied by Birdemic: Shock and Terror.

IHE: Hopefully it won't be Birdemic.

It lands on Birdemic.

Oh. It's Birdemic.

Outro

IHE: So there it is, folks: the fucking Oogieloves. I really had no idea what to say about this movie because nothing happens. I had to edit out all the times that I cried while recording the audio for this. It took about 43 hours. But anyway, what do you think? Did you like or dislike the video. Did I not spend enough time analysing the intricacies of The Oogieloves? Tell me in the comments below. And, as always, thanks for watching. All comments and ratings are appreciated. I'll see you next time. Bye.