I Love Messi Haters English Translation
I PRESENT THE FOLLOWING OPINIONS AS TRUTH:Messi's haters are the least considerate people I have ever met online. They are SO illogical, SO unkind, and oh, SO UNselfless that I am surprised that they even exist. I wish I could be like them, but I am too knowledgeable about soccer/football, too NOT naïve, at least compared to THEM. They always f*cked up and thought that Messi was WAY overrated, and I didn't even realize how crappy they were until his awesome win of the Golden Ball. I mean, TOTALLY awesome! How much WRONGER can they be?

These NOT-SO-AWESOME fellows also say that the Ballon d'Or judges are TOTALLY mental, because Messi doesn't even deserve to get a FOURTH of a Ballon d'Or, much less FOUR Ballon d'Ors IN A ROW! I mean, he broke the world record for most goals in a year and broke many more world records and gives other people credit and plays for his team and not himself yells "he's a good player!" in your faces and you haters don't see AT ALL??? Yes, they were right to give him FOUR awards for being the best soccer/football player in the world for FOUR years!

Therefore, Messi's fans are NOT AT ALL mental. The haters are wayyy less reasonable, and they are just jealous! I mean, they're comparing him to other players using fake, made-up data to try and "prove" that he's worse! How much more obvious can jealousy be?

And the pictures the haters post online to make fun of Messi are SO biased, So offensive, SO NOT sensitive, SO unhumourus, SO impolite, and SO NOT true. I mean, isn't it just bogus that Leo was the worst player this World Cup? And it's also bogus that we should all TOTALLY think about his tax problems and hate him for it while he's dribbling 6 people on the field! I know, right? Tax evasion and watching soccer/football are SO irrelevant! Thinking about how he just passed those 6 defenders and scored his 2nd hat trick this month is the right way to think about soccer/football. Right thinking would be that it was the awesomest playing you've ever seen! 2 hat tricks by the middle of the month and avoiding 6 defenders! Messi should absolutely gain recognition for something as legendary as that.

Best of all about the haters, this friend of mine who is now NOT my friend blamed Argentina's final loss on Messi! I mean, isn't that so unfair and so UNAWESOME of him? My friend is one of them, the truly WHOREibble haters. He said that if Messi had more anger problems, Argentina would've won! I mean, that makes no sense!

In the final analysis, these haters are the B.E.S.T. (B*tchy, Evil, Sh*tty Tyrants)! I'm way LESS selfish and irrational and unreasonable, so I will never understand their true hideousness, but at least I do a part of it at the moment.

Signing off to write more later,Jess MaQswellMost Sarcastic Child Of The Year 2013
Most Dedicated Young Messi Fan During 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil
Most Hated By Messi Haters Award Of The 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil
Most Logical And Sarcastic When Debating With Haters Child Award Of The Year 2013