Useless Hands
I blame myself
Or who I thought I should be
Or what I thought I should do when someone needs me
And the pressure keeps on buildin' all around
Fuck, every second feels like hours
Every minute tattooed in my brain
I wish they'd wash away

And I know, the last thing that you needed
Was the stress back home
With everybody texting you and calling your phone
Blame it on my useless hands

With closed eyes, I sat beside you and I held your hand all night
I looked across, saw the fear in my brother's eyes
This doesn't make sense
If I could change things
I'd give it all just take your place
But right now I guess I'd settle for a new day
I know you're counting on me
To keep the ones you love safe
But I worry, I'm sorry, I'm beat down
This is such a mess
I think of all the times we took for granted now
And what it really meant
When hospital halls start to feel like home
At least I'm not alone
At least the love is known
My body's made of stone
And you're not alone
And you never will be
I know we can't go home yet
But maybe soon

I can't decide
If everybody's crazy
Or I'm losin' my mind
They said the treatments would be difficult
To make your plans, get ready for
This chapter, this chapter of your lives

I'm drowning in my head
From all that's left unsaid
The trees are losing leaves just as your body weakens
I'm drowning in my head
And I can't get out of bed
The devil on my shoulder begging me to let go
Now all that I can do is wait
Don't listen to a word they say
I know that you would do the same
But I can't think, fuck

I never thought that things would go this way
I can't stand to see you go through pain
I think our time is running out
And time won't fix this