28 Hours a Day
[Verse 1]
Pick up dry cleaning
Wax the cat traps
Conduct blind taste test between butter and margarine
Sabotage police speed trap near the high school

Watch slow-motion tapes of the Cobra Clutch
Stare at a telephone pole and hope it catches on fire
Write "shuttlecock" backwards on forehead
Buy apple soda at the dollar store

[Chorus]
Twenty eight hours a day
Suicide, the pirate play
Twenty eight hours a day
Take my life away

[Verse 2]
Steal mail from back of mail truck
Call Smokey the Bear a liar
Start garbage fire
Develop cure for the measles
Cross-check obituaries with junior high yearbooks
Invent a new number that goes between two and three
Pay the light bill
Finish proton accelerator

[Chorus]
Twenty eight hours a day
This is the only way
Twenty eight hours a day
Spend it all in the shade

[Verse 3]
Try to invent speed boat that will work on land
Start donnybrook in front of coffee store
Make bonsai tree out of poker chips
Electrify mailbox for a rude surprise

Re-paint the bathroom
Grow rap video hair
Write nasty letter to Prince Charles
Sharpen spoon on floor of garage

[Chorus]
Twenty eight hours a day
The kids all think I'm crazy
Twenty eight hours a day
Stare at pictures of Tina Fey
[Verse 4]
Field strip clock radio
Guess Kenny Rogers' phone number
Punch out neighbours' windows
Buy more Snake from Jerry