Captain Horace
[Chorus]
You need a name! How about Horace?
Captain Horace of the Navy!
You are dead, but I don't care!
Drew could be just anywhere!

[Verse 1]
We'll go downtown and buy some PCP!
If not some LSD, if we can't find it then that's okay!
I'm high on you anyway!

[Chorus]
I need a friend! How about Horace?
Captain Horace of the Navy!
Best friends 'til I go to Hell
Or 'least until you start you start to smell

[Verse 2]
I know you're just a Horseshoe Crab..
I know you're not my real dad..
But we'll start a club called "We hate Drew"
That consists of me and you!
[Chorus]
I need an outlet, how about Horace?
Captain Horace of the Navy!
If you betray your friend Paul
I'll leave you for a bear to maul!

[Verse 3]
We'll play Poker, Chess, and Jacks!
And then we'll both watch Caddyshacks!
Yeah, all i know is that I love you!
And I hope that dad you'll love me too!

[Chorus]
I'll sing to you! Captain Horace!
Captain Horace of the Navy!
We'll sit, and laugh in the sand!
And then we'll travel through distant lands!

[Outro]
We'll leave all of my dreams!
Patch up all the seams!
'Cuz we make a good team!
Captain Horace!
And me!

(Sound of the wind)