4
Extending twisted fingers emerge from sneering faces
They wrap themselves around my tongue, every moment tightening around my mind
Emotional assimilation
The unity of internalized intolerance
And inadequacy scalded onto the psyche of my adolescent self
(Do you wish you were white?)
Don't I wish instead I was invisible and inanimate?
Characterize my previous mind as a ball of light forming for the
Swarm of flies that will feed on my performance of my life
Characterize my current mind as passing fears of firearms and watching the outside through the blinds
Animosity: my actions and my open appetite superceding a habitual silent seething of venom while shrouded in the darkness of the dead of night

I am now bound to burning (Spiteful feelings)
And spitting acid masked as healing
I maintain my restraints
(Here, there is a different pain)
I feel small, I've shouted down my self-hate
(Only to exhume to entertain)
Oh, I feel small
("It's a shame you feel this way, because what you say educates") And I have only myself to blame
Here, my self-worth is shaped by what can be observed
The first time I learned this I consider my true date of birth