The Real Muslim Shady
[Intro]
*Elephant and jungle sounds*

[Verse 1: Muslim Miklo]
India is the real deal
It ain’t got no Achilles heel
Let’s all agree Indian names have more sex appeal (Gandhi)
Bombay or Mumbai
Calcutta or Kolkata (Skrt)
Bangalore, Bengaluru (Yah)
Gurgaon, Gurugram (Skrt)
Hollywood or Bollywood
Same shit
Fuck off, you damn brit (Uh)
The real battle with Britain? (Booh)
Everyone knows we invented butter chicken (Yah)

[Chorus: Muslim Miklo, Hindi Gilli & Indian Branco]
India, what?
Land of diversity
India, what?
Hindu majority
India, what?
Overcame British authority (Skrrrt)
India, what?
Cricket's number one priority
India, what?
Land of diversity
India, what?
Hindu majority
India, what?
Overcame British authority *laughing*
India, what?
Cricket's number one priority (Skrrrt)
[Post-Chorus: Gandhi]
There is an indefinable, mysterious power that...

[Verse 2: Hindi Gilli]
The spiritual connection (Gandhi)
Gets me aroused and an erection (Yah)
They rock it with the caste system (Skrt)
Indian ladies? I can’t resist ‘em (What' up?)
TikTok was a big flop
Until the Indians came back atop (Ayy)
Now I see weird dudes in my feed
So I’ll go and grab myself a piece of roti (Yah)

[Chorus: Muslim Miklo, Hindi Gilli & Indian Branco]
India, what?
Land of diversity
India, what?
Hindu majority
India, what?
Overcame British authority (Skrrrt)
India, what?
Cricket's number one priority
India, what?
Land of diversity
India, what?
Hindu majority
India, what?
Overcame British authority *laughing*
India, what?
Cricket's number one priority (Skrrrt)
[Post-Chorus: Gandhi]
It is this unseen power which makes itself felt and yet...

[Verse 3: Indian Branco]
Taj Mahal, ah
Beautiful and mighty just like Parsifal, ah
Opera like its Amar Muchhala
Top dollar (Ayy)
“Give me 40 virgins please, inshallah“
Those are the words of a human trash can (What' up?)
Walmart-version of India aka Pakistan (Ha)
Some of you stayed, yo, what' up?
Will the twenty per cent mu-slimshady please stand up? (Rrrargh)
Boys, this is my go-to Indian lineup (Skrt)

[Bridge: Muslim Miklo & Hindi Gilli]
Gandhi on the wing
Man, the crowd will singh
Striker Freddie Mercury (Ayy)
My Indian-Parsi Queen for eternity (Skrt)
On right back, I’ll put Guru Nanak (Ha)
Center back, Subhash and Avinash Kak
In goal, Jawaharlal Nehru
No shots pass through (Skrrrrt, rrrargh)
There is a billion more
All are legends, that’s for sure (Yah)
[Chorus: Muslim Miklo, Hindi Gilli & Indian Branco]
India, what?
Land of diversity
India, what?
Hindu majority
India, what?
Overcame British authority (Skrrrt)
India, what?
Cricket's number one priority
India, what?
Land of diversity
India, what?
Hindu majority
India, what?
Overcame British authority *laughing*
India, what?
Cricket's number one priority *laughing* (Skrrrt)
Den er der, den er der, den er der
Fuck, det var fedt
Fuck, det...

[Outro: Gandhi]
There is an indefinable, mysterious power *elephant sounds*
That pervades everything
I feel it, though I do not see it *elephant sounds*