On the Jersey Shore
[Chorus: Bruce]
On the Jersey Shore
The Guidos party all night and then they try to score
On the Jersey Shore
During the day they gotta work at the T-shirt store
[What the hell's that noise?]

[Verse 1: Mike the Situation]
Yo, it's Mike but they call me the Situation
Cause my abs never go on a vacation
Some people think that I'm a jerk-off
Cause I look like Rambo with my freakin' shirt off
When the Guidettes see me they get all turned on
Cause I spend all day at a tanning salon
I twist, I tan, I shave my chest
Man don't try to act like you're not impressed

[Verse 2: Snookie]
It's me Snookie, I crave attention
I wear sequinned skirts and hair extensions
I like to hook up but don't call me loose
When I eat a pickle I suck out the juice
I'm looking for love without much luck
Hey you took our drinks
Yo Snookie, duck!
[Oh, what the, oh my god, you do not hit a girl
You're a grown man
I have never seen that before, you're a grown man]
[Chorus: Bruce]
On the Jersey Shore
They get in fights and then hook up for sport
On the Jersey Shore
They must be crawling with herpes gonorrhoea and warts

[Verse 3: Jwoww]
They call me Jwoww and I'm a man eater
I only like guys who wear wife beaters
I drink Jaeger bombs and get destroyed
And grind on guys who are unemployed

[Verse 4: DJ Pauly]
I'm DJ Pauly and I raise the roof
I put gel in my hair 'til it's bulletproof
My beats are sick, I don't mean to brag
Check out my contacts, Italian flags
I get my haircut every single day
I dance with my bros in a manly way
We know several dances including the jump
The ab display and the Guido fist pump
Go, go, go, go, go, go
[Oh, Pauly, you do not do that
You never hit a girl]

[Chorus: Bruce]
On the Jersey Shore
Girls get drunk and hook up with every Vinny, Petey and Paul
On the Jersey Shore
They get up the next morning and pretend that they don't recall
On the Jersey Shore
They get naked in hot tubs and drink themselves into a stupor
On the Jersey Shore
They're skins are so orange they look like a bunch of Oompa-Loompas
[Yo, did you just call us Oompa-Loompas, not cool boss, not cool
Oh, Snookie, not again, you never hit a  girl, you never hit a girl
I'm sorry
You're a scumbag]