Suicidewinder
[Verse 1]
Well this pretty young thing, with grease stains on her blue jeans
She takes a seat at bar next to me, and served a long, island iced tea, for free
Well I notice this because, I'm a detective
And missing the little things in this profession, only leaves you guessin'
Well I'm into my third Heineken, and I'm thinking "Damn this this girl is fine lookin'"
I ask her her name, and she smiles, says it's Mary-Jane
"Well I'm pleased to meet you, Mary-Jane. You're one foxy dame, if you don't mind my sayin'"
And she says "Who're you? Some kind of crazy' fool?"

[Chorus]
Well I says I'm Johnny Cash, when I'm drinkin'
I'm the Clash, when I'm thinkin'
I'm Mad Max, when I'm drivin'
I'm Mike Diamond, when I'm rhymin'!
I'm Humphrey Bogart, when I'm smokin'
I'm Bob Marley, when I'm tokin'
Yeah, and in bed when I'm dreamin'
I'm a guitar slingin' demon! Yeah!

[Guitar Solo]
[Verse 2]
Well she hops on the back of my hog, hey the law, undercover's gotta' be incog-nito
And I'm in dis-guise, as one of the bad guys, with a sweet ride
Yeah the desert sky was blood red, and she held on tight, as we sped
Through the Valley of the Dead Vultures, into an underworld, of sub-culture
Neon lights, and cock fights
Cut-throats, and low-lifes
Prostitutes with red leather boots
Are givin' me the eye
As we glide, up to the Suicidewinder, Saloon
Where this goon, with a mouth full of chew, says "Who, the hell, are you?"

[Chorus]
Well I says I'm Johnny Cash, when I'm drinkin'
I'm the Clash, when I'm thinkin'
Yeah I'm Mad Max, when I'm drivin'
I'm Mike Diamond, when I'm rhymin'!
And I'm Humphrey Bogart, when I'm smokin'
I'm Bob Marley, when I'm tokin'
Yeah, and in bed when I'm dreamin'
I'm a guitar slingin' demon! Yeah!

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 3]
Now Mary-Jane's addiction, was cocaine and Pulp-Fiction
And when you're itchin', for a fix, then this is the place where you come to get some
She leads me to the back, where I find the kingpin drinkin' Jack and Coke
Playin' poker with a couple of dope, smokin' jokers
And he says "Take a hit off the bong, brother"
Well I don't wanna' blow my cover
So I have a little hoot
And it sends me through the roof!
And I'm as high, as the sky
I hear someone say "Where'd you find this guy, Angel?
"Is he FBI? Local swine? Or a Texas ranger?"
[Chorus]
Well I says I'm Johnny Cash, when I'm drinkin'
I'm the Clash, when I'm thinkin'
Yeah I'm Mad Max, when I'm drivin'
I'm Mike Diamond, when I'm rhymin'!
I'm Humphrey Bogart, when I'm smokin'
I'm Bob Marley, when I'm tokin'
Yeah, and in bed when I'm dreamin'
I'm a fiddle slingin' demon! Yeah!

[Fiddle Solo]

[Verse 4]
Now I know, that they know, that I know, that they know I'm full of shit
They all take out their Tommy' guns, and attempt to riddly' me with bullets
But I'm too fast!
I'm like Speedy Gonzalez
And my, brawling technique is flawless, and I disarm this lawless scum-buckets
And rough em' up like a bunch of suckers
I bind them in duct tape, I call for a backup, to haul em' away
I grab Mary-Jane as a witness, and some Mariju-wana, for a rainy day, yeah
I confiscate the kingpins Harley, which, once belonged to Elvis Presley
And in custom paint, with a gas tank, that says "Rock hard, ride free!"

[Bridge]
Now I'm the King, when I'm ridin'
I'm Matt Lee, when I'm fightin'
I'm Tom Waits, when I'm writin'
I'm sublime, when I'm harmonizin'!
I'm Hank, Williams when I'm swillin'
I'm Bob Dylan, when I'm chillin'
And in bed when I'm dreamin'
I'm a guitar slingin' demon!
[Guitar Solo]

[Fiddle Solo]