Cant Have It
Stop it if you wanna stop it
Need help but you can't have it
Running out of cards, built a house of it
Got so many thoughts, need a room for it
Trying so hard to leave a legacy, ain't meant to be
That memory, is something you can push
As much as you want
It's gonna fade when you're down six feet

Lost count how many times I'm losing sleep
Who cares, I'm not losing myself
No matter what my nightmares tell me
I don't care what you think, yeah
Let me be a bad example
Still proud of myself for what I can handle
Made it this far, in it for my family
Wanna make em proud
Even if I end up with a needle in my arm

They say talking to yourself is rude
But what else can you do when
Nobody else listens to you?
How can you expect people to love you
When you can't even say it in the mirror?
Life starts to get clearer
When you see the blur in the lines
Just see the big picture
It's either that or you're just...
In the back seat, missing out on the chances you got
Looking so mortal
I can be, having it all and I'd say
"I want more though"
Things we do, trying to find peace in chaos
Ironic hole
Wish I could never look back
Guess that's the cost of your goals
Trying to get a glimpse of lost days
Begging to feel the childhood innocence
Searching for all the smiles I had then
Running away from the scars I have yet

Yeah that's alright, did I want it though?
(Did I?)
Adjusting and sacrificing ain't the same thing
Be one with the crowd, but I wanted more
(Wanted more!)
Rather be an outcast, aim for the stars
When you know dust ain't your antidote
(Huh?)
Rather be an outcast, aim for the stars
When you know dust ain't where you feel home
(I'm no longer)

Trying to change the things about me, I can't resolve
It rained upon me, guilt inside, I couldn't absolve
I'd been so lost in random thoughts
I needed to stop, just took a shot
I've climbed the ladder, yeah
I'd love it and hate it
Trying to feel things by taking off bandages
How could I take it?
Hard to explain it, but that is what happens
When you sell your soul 'cuz you cannot reshape it
Trying to get a glimpse of lost days
Begging to feel the childhood innocence
Searching for all the smiles I had then
Running away from the scars I have yet

Facts
I ain't no saint
Got my own demons to deal with
So don't tell me about how I act
Testing my fate
Knocking all doors down to leave insecurities
Yeah, it's either that, or a needle in vein
And regrets start drifting and drifting
And drifting and drifting
And then I get wasted away
With my senses shifting and shifting
And shifting and shifting and shifting