Fings aint wot they used tbe
They've changed our local palais into a bowling alley and
Fings ain't wot they used t'be
There's teds wiv drainpipe trousers and debs in coffee houses
And fings ain't wot they used t'be
There used to be trams
Not very quick got you from place to place
But now there's just jams, half a mile thick
Stay in the human race, I'm walking
They've stuck parking meters outside our door to greet us
No, Fings ain't wot they used t'be
Monkeys flying around the moon
We'll be up there wiv 'em soon
Fings ain't wot they used t'be
Once our beer was froffy, but now its froffy coffee
No fings ain't wot they used t'be
It used t'be fun
Dad and old Mum paddling down Southend
But now it ain't done
Nevermind chum
Paris is where we spend out outings
Grandma tries to shock us all
Doing knees up rock n' roll
Fings ain't wot they used t'be
We used to have stars
Singers who sung A Dixie Melody
They're buying guitars
Plinkety plunk, backing themselves with three chords only
Once we danced from twelve to three
I've got news for Elvis P
Fings ain't wot they used t'be
Did the lot we us t'
Fings ain't wot they used to be