Patricks Chirstmas Poem
Basically one Christmas I was stuck in my room
Because I got grounded for calling my mom a bitch
When I was in my room I saw Santa and he was on my roof
And he was looking through the neighbor's window
And watching the kids watch Lilo and Stitch
I poked my head out the window and said
"Hey Santa, what the hell are you doing watching the neighbor's kids watch a movie?"
He looked at me and got too scared that he slid down the roof
Because of the ice and he fell off the roof
And hit his head on every window in the building
And then hit his head on the ground
And his brains made a smoothie

Thеn, my neighbors pit bulls came over
And startеd eating the chunks of Santa's brain
And started ripping out Santa's throat
So I snuck downstairs with a sledgehammer
And I started beating the fucking crap out of Santa with the sledgehammer so that it was easier for the dogs to eat his fat belly
And then the police came and they gave me a medal because they found out it was a fake Santa
And it was a pedophile named Robin Baskins
And then the real Santa flew by on his sleigh and gave me a thumbs up
And under the tree next morning I got Star Wars Micro Machines Rogue One Death Star 2 Action Set
And Star Wars Micro Machines Chewbacca Endor Action Set
And Star Wars Micro Machines Storm Trooper/Death Star Action Set And Nike Air Pippens
And Levi's Corduroy 565 pants
And another pair of Levi's Corduroy 565 pants
And Austin Powers Felicity Shagwell Action Figure
And Austin Powers Danger Action Figure Macfarlane Toys 1999
And a pair of Levi's 565 jeans
And another pair of Levi's 565 jeans