Shape of You Parody
[Verse 1: Ed Sheeran]
The club isn't the best place to stalk a lover
So the gym is where I go
That is where I spy on you when you box
I pretend I box also
I've got a weird obsession with the shape of your body
This creepy song is all about that
Like your hands, nose, the shape of your ears, hips, and throat
And the shape of your mouth, and now I'm singing like

[Pre-Chorus 1: Ed Sheeran & Boxer Girl]
What size are your boxing gloves?
Show me your hand shape. Hold on, what, excuse me?
Come on now, just let me see
I may be crazy, don't mind me
Say, boy, your head is messed up
Don't touch my waist. Why are you measuring me?
Because I love your body
Um, OMG, you are a freak!

[Chorus 1: Ed Sheeran & Boxer Girl]
I'm in love with the shape of you
I made a body diagram too
Your stomach is real, flat and smooth
And your butt's round and bubbly
Last night I was in your room
And I stole this red bra from you
That's how I figured out the shape of your boobs
Can I measure your inseam?
Weirdo, weirdo, weirdo, weirdo!
You're obsessed with my body!
Don't go, don't go, don't go, don't go!
What shape are your nipples, please?
[Verse 2: Ed Sheeran]
One week in and you come back to the gym
Was so glad to see your body
Watching from the distance, so you wouldn't see me
It was like we were on our second date
I watched for hours and hours, even when you took a shower
Making mental pics of all of your shapes
I left a note in your locker, signed "your body stalker"
Let's both get naked, what do you say? And now you're singing like

[Pre-Chorus 2: Ed Sheeran & Boxer Girl]
Weirdo, do you even box?
Or do you just come to this gym to stalk me?
And inspect my body?
Goddammit, stop measuring me!
Um, girl, yes of course I box
Okay, then prove it, throw a left hook at me
Can I first measure your feet?
Wait, hold on, are those my panties?

[Hook 2: Ed Sheeran & Boxer Girl]
I stole them from the locker room
Okay, this has to end right now, dude
I'm getting in that ring with you
I'm gonna beat your body!
Objectifying girls is rude
We have personalities too
We're more than just hot bodies!
Show me your boobs!
I'm in love with your body
Why are you such a psychopath?
I'm in love with your body
Look, I even made a butt graph
It's shaping up quite nicely
I'm gonna knock your teeth out, man!
This is making me horny
Can I please cover all your shapes with this lube?
Here's two shapes I got just for you!
[Outro: Ed Sheeran]
Does anyone have a spare tooth?