Sexy Lobster
[HOOK]
What time is it?
It’s sexy lobster time
Sexy lobster time
Sexy lobster time
Who’s a sexy lobster?
I’m a sexy lobster
Are you a sexy lobster?
You ain’t no sexy lobster
Yeah, I’m the only sexy
Lobster round here
Ain’t no room more than
One sexy lobster in here
Bitch, you uninvited
This is my party—now
Stand up straight with them shoulders back
Before I knock yo ass off the hierarchy

[VERSE 1]
Best fix ya posture
It’s the sexy lobstеr
He is among us
And y’all imposters
Attention shoppеrs
Hands off my Instant Pot
Duo crisp air fryer
And pressure cooker
Get ya house in order
Before you judge this lobster
Y’all radical left types
Still smug and scoffin’
Cuz ya rooms is chaos
And ya don’t like cleaning
No respect for meaning
You pursue expedience
You don’t see the genius
Of Jordan Peterson
Cuz ya brain is teenie
Just like my penis is
Roughly speaking
You speak imprecise
You don’t tell the truth
Your whole life’s a lie
You’re exceptionally high
In agreeableness
On understand
Myself dot com
Now you and your family
Aren’t getting along
Cuz you’re a postmodern
Neo-Marxist ideologue
[BRIDGE]
Would you fuck me?
I’d fuck me
I’d fuck me hard
I’d fuck me so hard

[HOOK]
What time is it?
It’s sexy lobster time
Sexy lobster time
Sexy lobster time
Who’s a sexy lobster?
I’m a sexy lobster
Are you a sexy lobster?
You ain’t no sexy lobster
Yeah, I’m the only sexy
Lobster round here
Ain’t no room more than
One sexy lobster in here
Bitch, you uninvited
This is my party—now
Stand up straight with them shoulders back
Before I knock yo ass off the hierarchy

[VERSE 2]
I’m a sexy lobster
Exiting the closet
As a long time fan of
The Canadian doctor
JBP, and his
Vivacious daughter
What up, Mikhaila?
Lemme get on ya podcast
Honestly, Mikhaila
If I win the contest
Just ask your father
If I can get an appointment
For his clinical practice
I know he’s outta the game
But I clearly need some help on
The psychological plane
Cuz I just read Aion
By C.G. Jung
And every time I wake up
It’s impending doom
I’m losing my persona
While the shadow prospers
I know thy Self
And it’s a Sexy Lobster
No joke, I really
Identify as a lobster
Bill C-16, ya better
Call me a lobster
Lol jk, I ain’t no
Goddamn lobster
You Cathy Newman
Ah-ha, gotcha—I’mma
Read some Nietzsche
Or some Dostoyevsky
Who states God is dead
But this lobster’s sexy
Got the IDW
Fully erect
Twerkin’ on Sam Harris
And Slavoj Žižek
All these vegans and
Their mental defects
Need to show this piece
Of meat some respect
Eat a big ol’ dose
Of psilocybin, and
Listen to Mikhaila
Say the word “Bizon”