Dear Artour
[Hook]
My team's all trash, I'm wondering why I queued up a game at all
MMR goes out the window, and I can't CS at all
But even if I could twitch spams more memes, Envy's picture on my wall
He reminds me, that it's not so sad, it's not so sad, boys

[Verse 1]
Dear Artour, I wrote you but you still ain't calling
I left my twich, my twitter, and my steam name at the bottom
I sent two donations back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at twitch alerts or something
Sometimes I write messages too vulgar when I jot 'em
But anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your team?
I've got a team, too, I'm bout to win RD2L
If I win a tourney, guess what I'ma say?
I'ma say "2EZ"
I read about your Uncle Peter, too, I'm sorry
I had a friend get salty over some team who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Kaipi
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Speed, too, that shit was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
Just to talk, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is chat
[Hook]
My team's all trash, I'm wondering why I queued up a game at all
MMR goes out the window, and I can't CS at all
But even if I could twitch spams more memes, Envy's picture on my wall
He reminds me, that it's not so sad, it's not so sad, boys

[Verse 2]
Dear RTC, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you play a scrim
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't play on stream
If you didn't wanna respond to a donation meme
You didn't have to, but you coulda babyraged for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only 2k rank solo
We waited in the blistering queue for you
Four hours and you just said, "4head"
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fucking idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
Remember when we met in Seattle - you said if I'd write you
You would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never won a valve LAN neither;
My offlanes are retards and feeders
So I can relate to what your sister says on stream
So when I have a shitty game, I just watch you flame your team
Cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo with SAD BOYS across the chest
Sometimes I even run down mid to see how much I can feed
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My subreddit's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But they don't know you like I know you artour, no one does
They don't know what it was like for people like us growing up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest retard you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Chat
-- P.S
We should queue together, too
[Hook]
My team's all trash, I'm wondering why I queued up a game at all
MMR goes out the window, and I can't CS at all
But even if I could twitch spams more memes, Envy's picture on my wall
He reminds me, that it's not so sad, it's not so sad, boys

[Verse 3]
Dear Mister I'm-Too-Good-To-Stream-Or-Acknowledge-My­-Fans
This'll be the last donation I ever send your ass
It's been six days and still no stream - twitch don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two donations;
I wrote the memes on 'em perfect
So this is my plea I'm sending you, I hope you read it
I'm in a pub right now, I'm doing 200 apm on my keyboard
Hey Artour, I first picked Gyro, you dare me to mid?
You know the song by Yung Lean, called "Yoshi City"
That had a meme that coulda saved that other meme from expiring
But didn't, then Artour saw it all on stream and acknowledged it?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued you from drowning
Now it's too late - twitch is 1000 spammers now, we're drowsy
And all we wanted was to try and prevent your fall
I hope you know we spammed SPROUTED all over your wall
Twitch loved you Artour, we coulda spammed together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't stream and you can't find a team about it
And when you dream about TI 5 I hope you can't sleep and you BabyRage about it
I hope your teammates SCREAM AT YOU and you can't PUB without us
See Artour; [screaming] Shut up Peter! we're trying to talk!
Hey Artour, that's Peter screaming in the trunk
But we didn't dump his team, we just spammed his wall up, see we aren't like you
Cause if he stops playing, and then his career will die, too
Well, gotta go, we're almost at Manilla now
Oh shit, we forgot, how we're supposed to cheer for you now?
[Hook]
My team's all trash, I'm wondering why I queued up a game at all
MMR goes out the window, and I can't CS at all
But even if I could twitch spams more memes, Envy's picture on my wall
He reminds me, that it's not so sad, it's not so sad, boys

[Verse 4]
Dear Twitch, I meant to stream for you sooner but I've just been busy
You said your girlfriends in the 1k bracket now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your team that
And here's a BabyRage for your brother
I wrote it on the Lvl 10 Starter Pack
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the Tourney, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to queue up for pubs too?
I say that shit just clowning dogg
C'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Twitch, I think you need some counseling
To help your ass from bouncing off the walls when I get down some
And what's this shit about 10 asterik's in a row?
Thats the type of shit'll make me not want to stream at all
I really think you and your teammates need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat them better
I hope you get to read this shitpost, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you burn yourself out, I think that you'll be doing just fine
If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but twitch
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as fans
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shitpost on /r/DotA2 a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude took lyrics from Kanye West and replaced them with SPROUTED
And he had his memes out in full force, talkin about it
And in a 2nd post they made a song, but only addressed to three or four
Come to think about it, the song was about... artour
Damn!