Desert Love
[Chorus: Crowley]
Have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
I tell you now it takes some practice, bro
Them spikes go anywhere and everywhere
In your legs and even in your derriere
Have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
I tell you now it takes some practice, bro
Those spikes go anywhere and everywhere
In your legs and even in your derriere

[Verse 1: Crowley]
Got a condition that is very rare
Skin peeled by the desert air, see you nice and ready there
Prickly pear shit, embarrassed to come by you
But then I been thinking about the fun of doing this bitch
So I'm in the desert meddling (meddling)
Felt a little sting (little sting) then I woke up in the hospital wing
Never been fucking a plant that could fight back
But I like that shit, slide back in

[Chorus: Crowley]
Have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
I tell you now it takes some practice, bro
Them spikes go anywhere and everywhere
In your legs and even in your derriere
Have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
I tell you what, it takes some practice, bro
Those spikes go anywhere and everywhere
In your legs and even in your derriere
[Verse 2: JSZ]
Hold this shit up, I must admit that I have my doubts
I'm not sure I'd bang a cactus even if there was a drought
And if I'm stranded and my dick is running rampant in my pants
I do not think myself the type of man to turn to desert plants
I'd like a human, if I'm lucky then a model or an actress
Tuck her in on my mattress, then end up in a certain crack, bitch
All your battle tactics are so whack, I can't believe you tracked this
And I know you've got a question for me but don't fucking ask it

[Chorus: Crowley]
Have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
I tell you now it takes some practice, bro
Them spikes go anywhere and everywhere
In your legs and even in your derriere
Have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
I tell you now it takes some practice, bro
Those spikes go anywhere and everywhere
In your legs and even in your derriere

[Bridge: JSZ (Crowley)]
I don't really wanna fuck a cactus (fuck a cactus)
I do not want to fuck a cactus (fuck a cactus)
Please don't make me fuck a cactus (bro, fuck a cactus)
I'm telling you man, I don't wanna fuck a cactus (bro, you gotta fuck a cactus)
Listen up, I don't wanna fuck a cactus (fuck a cactus)
It sounds painful, I don't wanna fuck a cactus (what you doing? fuck a cactus)
Stop, I don't wanna fuck a cactus (fuck a cactus)
Bitch! I don't wanna fuck a cactus
[Verse 3: Crowley]
Goddamn, why be fucking your hand
When you could be fucking a plant full of water? Man, that's natural lube
So bitch, don't you be coming with this shit
If you don't fuck a cactus, I will cut off your dick

[Verse 3: JSZ]
You know what? Fuck it, fine, you're right
Everyone knows that men like everything vagina-like
So quit whining like I won't explode like dynamite
When I slide in and out of this shit for the final time

[Chorus: JSZ & Crowley]
Have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
I tell you now it takes some practice, bro
Them spikes go anywhere and everywhere
In your legs and even in your derriere
Have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
I tell you now it takes some practice, bro
Those spikes go anywhere and everywhere
In your legs and even in your derriere

[Bridge: JSZ (Crowley)]
I just really fucked a fucking cactus (you fucked a cactus)
I can't believe I fucked a cactus (bro, you fucked a cactus)
I put my penis inside of a cactus (you fucked a cactus)
What the fuck? I fucked a cactus (you fucked a cactus)
That's gross, I can't believe you made me fuck a cactus (you fucked a cactus)
I fucking fucked a cactus (you fucked a cactus)
I fucked a cactus (fucked a cactus)
I cannot cope with the fact I fucked a cactus
[Chorus: JSZ & Crowley]
Have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
I tell you now it takes some practice, bro
Them spikes go anywhere and everywhere
In your legs and even in your derriere
Have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
I tell you now it takes some practice, bro
Those spikes go anywhere and everywhere
In your legs and even in your derriere (one more time!)
Have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
I tell you now it takes some practice, bro
Them spikes go anywhere and everywhere
In your legs and even in your derriere
Have you ever made love to a cactus, yo?
I tell you now it takes some practice, bro
Those spikes go anywhere and everywhere
In your legs and even in your derriere

[Outro: JSZ (Crowley)]
Aw dude, that was... *sigh* that was so fucked up (yeah, I know, c- like... it was, like-)
Yeah, I... *sigh* (no, but listen, it was, it was good, right?)
I... f-... I f- cannot fucking believe, yeah... (no, it was goo- like you had a good time, right?)
*Sigh* I... (like, just admit it?)
Yeah, I'm like... ye- (like-)
I will admit, I came very hard
(Good.)