Stella and Charlie Got Married
I'm burning your 'ouses down as soon as I'm back from Marbella, you slag
Yeah, I'll 'ave another couple of pints of Saint Ella
The national drink of Essex, urrrggh

He wasn't the marrying kind
He had mayhem in mind
As we so often find
Beer money, it's wonderful stuff
But you're knackered if there isn't enough
She's worked up a hell of a thirst
She was careful at first
But the evening was cursed
It's always a drink and a fight
Or you haven't had your Friday night

Hey, hey, a hell of a day
Stella married Charlie
They were doing okay
They're coming up for trial on the seventh of May
Take my cash and throw it down the drain
Stella and Charlie got married
Two weeks and a place in the sun
You can do it in one
Well, it's gotta be done
Gets boring, but spend enough time
And you cease to really see it as a crime
Saint Ella, a couple of grams
You'll be well on your way
You can pass your exams
No money, you've given the lot
To the parish of the cold and the hot

Hey, hey, a hell of a day
Stella married Charlie
They were doing okay
They're coming up for trial on the seventh of May
Take my cash and throw it all away
Stella and Charlie got married