The New Abcs Rap
I adamantly attack the alphabet
With an anecdotal algorithm made of
Adamantium
I'm like an Adderrall addicted anaconda or an
Alcoholic Or an asshole, like A-Rod, no anabolics
But I, brutally and beautifully butcher the banging
Beat
Brushin' bubbly allover your booby and booty
Beef
Cause I'm a carpenter, I come carvin' your carcass
Leaving all these carp fish crushed on the
Carpet
Crumble chron' in Colorado with my Cal cronies
I'm Crammin' it full of condiments like it's a
Calzone Delicious! I didn't drive and drink
Whether diamonds or dimes man I'm diving
Deep like an
Electric eel, I'm elegantly eloquent and every
Cent I've ever earned
Just entered me in the election I got eleven brains like an enormously educated
Einstein with Elephantitis Of the erection A freak! I'm fighting with a flatfooted felon
Five falcons just flew to a fountain, and fell in
Googling, googly-eyed girls to get inside Golly gee from GlasGow to Guatemela's
Gentrified A hippopotamus is high on heroin he heckles
Me
And hires Haitian Hank to hand his ho a
Hysterectomy In hateful hieroglyph I hurl-out hyperbolic hubris
And hang with Hipster Helen that's the hooker
With huge hips
I'm ill. I'm Icarus. I ignite idiots in idioms and
Issues
Jumpy jargon I joust like Jacare jivin Japanese Judo and Jiujitsu
Killin' em like a kid.. got a Kilogram of Ketamine
For Kwanza
Knit a Kimono made of Komodo Dragon skin
I'm rich like a Klingon that be kicking it at the
Kremlin But I'm kicking through your door, call me
Kramer Kardashian
Lethal, Literally litter a little limerick
That be littler than a Leprechaun
A menace that'll manifest the melancholy
Mayhem Makin a metamorphosis until mechanized like
Megotron
Nick Nolte: a nerdy native of Nebraska
Needs a neon ninja and a nectarine from NASA
Ominously, I mean it's obvious you see a:
Orthodontist oozing out oodles of onomatopoeia Oswalt: Patton
Pickin a pocket pluckin a patent
I pickle purple poop in Patron for pure passion
I got a question, I gotta quiz ya'
Lets step on the gas and go quicker
Really getting ready for the revolution Reeled a rotten rhythm ring around a Russia
Ronda Rousey resort
Serve a simple sentiment a simile that's smokin
Like a sheet of Sudafed i'm swiftly swimming like
A seahorse
Titties on Atilla Tell a teller that'll toe tag Terminator gun inside a turtle tattered tote bag
Thugs are un-american unattractive and
Unwanted as an ugly pair of ugg's
Vivid and vivaciously venomous
With the wicked wombats only walking where
Women is Gettin xenophobic at the Xanadu XoXo
Yippy-ki-yay,!
Yours' Truly
Avery
YES YO!!!
Oh shit, I forgot Z
Zebra