DATE NIGHT 




                                 Written by

                                Josh Klausner


                                                    June 11, 2008
                         

                         

          FADE IN:

          INT. BACHELOR APARTMENT BEDROOM - NIGHT

          A modest city bedroom. Suitcases and half-unpacked boxes
          sit on one side of the room. Sc_-orLe's -moving in.
          In his bathrobe, PHIL FOSTER, a good looking guy in his
          mid-20's, hums to himself as he looks through stacks of
          WEDDING PICTURES organized all over the bed. Just as he
          finishes up a pile and starts another, beautiful CLARA
          FOSTER, in a bathrobe too, jumps across his lap.

                         PHIL
          Hey, hey! Careful Clara! You were the
          one who told me not to mess up the
          precious picture piles!
          he gives him a long, slow kiss.

          PHIL (CONT ' D )
          Minty fresh.

                         CLARA
          That was nice.

                         PHIL
          It was nice.

                         CLARA
          Hey from now on when you change the
          toilet paper, could you just make sure it
          is out?

                         PHIL

                         (CHUCKLES)
          Wow! She moves in and the honeymoon's
          over!

                         CLARA
          Oh, believe me, we're just getting
          started, Phil.

                         PHIL
          (reaches into picture pile)
          Look at this one of your Mom with me. I
          mean that woman can't contain her 'Love!

          ON the wedding picture: RUTH, Clara's,mother, stands
          stiffly next to Phil with an expression like she's ankle
          deep in a manure bin.

                         CLARA

                         (LAUGHS)
          She just takes a while to warm up. You
          guys are gonna be best buddies. You
          picked a favorite of us yet?  

                         

          2.
          Phil finds the picture, handing it to Clara.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          That's exactly the one I picked!

          Clara leans the photo on the night stand next to the bed.
          It's a PORTRAIT OF THEM FROM THEIR WEDDING. They look
          joyous, excited. A young couple with the world in front
          of them.

                         PHIL
          Man, I wish I was them.
          Phil kisses the back of Clara's neck, but her smile fades
          as she stares at the picture. He notices.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)

                         WHAT IS

                         CLARA
          I just... when I was growing up my Mom
          and Dad had a picture just like this.
          Now they can't even acknowledge each
          other.
          Phil sympathetically gives her a squeeze.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Let's always remember to have some time
          that's just for the two of us. No matter
          what else comes up in our lives - if it's
          work or friends or when we have kids-

                         PHIL
          We're having kids? With an "S"?

                         (CLARA LAUGHS)
          OK fine. But I promise you it's never
          gonna happen to us.

                         CLARA
          Yeah, we'll see if you'll be saying that
          when I'm long in the tooth.

                         PHIL
          You'll be even hotter long toothed.
          Right now to be honest Clara they're a
          little stumpy.

                         CZ

                         (GIGGLES
          Oh really?
          As Phil climbs on top and kisses her, he reaches over and
          turns off the light. Suddenly, we hear the piles of
          pictures SLIDE OFF THE BED and hit the ground. Beat.

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Phil. Tell me it wasn't the pictures.

                         PHIL
          wasn't the pictures.

                         CLARA
          You know how long that took?

                         PHIL
          We'll fix the picture piles, Clara.
          We've got all the time in the world.
          From now on everything's gonna be just
          about us.
          Suddenly, a YOUNG VOICE breaks through the darkness.

          OLLIE (V.0.)

          MOM!
          The Talking Head's "Once in a Lifetime" kicks

          INT. PHIL AND CLARA'S BEDROOM 7 YEARS LATER - MORNING

          Next to the framed wedding picture of Phil and Clara, an
          ALARM CLOCK on a side table reads 6:45 am.

                          E

          OLLIE (O.S.)
          Mo-om!
          It's SEVEN YEARS LATER as Phil and Clara stir .-id groan
          in bed. Clara has the comforter WRAPPED ALL HER
          while Phil lies uncovered next to her in his boxers and a
          T-shirt. Without saying a word, they rise out of each
          side of their beds and sleepily march in opposite
          directions across their suburban bedroom- Clara down the
          hall and Phil to the bathroom.

          OLLIE (O.S.) (CONT'D)
          Mom! Mom! Mom!

                         CLARA
          I'm coming, Ollie!

          INT. OLLIE'S ROOM - A LITTLE LATER

          As the Talking Heads song continues, Clara makes Ollie's
          bed while OLLIE, 5, plays with LEGOs on the floor. Phil
          showered and dressed in a suit, walks quickly past the
          doorway carrying a briefcase, his eyes glued to a stack
          of PAPERS in his hand.

                         CLARA
          Uh Phil?

                         0

                         

                         

                         

                         
          Phil doubles back, still looking at the papers.

                         PHIL
          Yep?

                         CLARA
          I need to switch. I've got an open
          house.
          Phil obviously doesn't want to be bothered right now, but
          contains it.

                         PHIL
          Really?

                         CLARA
          Yeah. Really.
          As Clara walks quickly past him, Phil claps his hands
          together.

                         PHIL
          OK, so I say today we go for the slacker
          look - cool yet approachable.

                         OLLIE
          Yeah, well Mom says that.
          Ollie points to a PREPPIE OUTFIT laid out on a chair.

                         PHIL
          Oh. Well... that's cool too!

          INT. PHIL AND CLARA'S BEDROOM/BATHROOM - SAME

          The Talking Heads song continues as Clara walks quickly
          through the bedroom. She lets out a YELP as her shin
          SMASHES INTO PHIL'S DRESSER DRAWER - he's left them open.
          She kicks them closed and limps to the bathroom, then
          stops in the doorway. WATER covers the floor. Grabbing
          a towel, she tosses it down and shimmies to the mirror.
          As she picks up her toothbrush, she notices it's WET as
          well.

                         CLARA
          Ech. Mine.
          She re-rolls the toothpaste from the bottom up and starts
          brushing when she sees the sink - a Jackson Pollock of
          razor hairs and bits of toothpaste.
          Disgusted, Clara reaches for the Kleenex box, only to
          discover it's EMPTY. She tosses the box in the trash and
          shimmies on the towel to get some toilet paper.

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         5
          Seeing the roll, she sighs as she takes it out of the
          holder, turns it around and puts it back so it ROLLS OUT.
          As the CREDITS END, the Talking Heads song fad

          NT. KITCHEN
          Phil, pen in hand, is focused again on his papers as
          Ollie, now in the preppie outfit, watches him and waits
          at the table. Phil finally notices.

                         PHIL
          What?

                         OLLIE
          Breakfast?

                         PHIL

                         (HOPPING UP)
          Oh. Yeah, sorry. Your Dad's a boob
          today. What's it gonna be?
          Ollie peers down the hallway to see if there's any sign
          of his tom.

                         OLLIE
          How about... some Captain Crunch?
          Phil gets an idea and writes zickly.

                         PHIL

                         (DISTRACTED)

                         OL
          Captain Crunch?The cereal?

                         PHIL
          Uh... yeah. Sure.
          Phil grabs the Captain Crunch cereal box out
          cupboard and starts toward the table when Clara, dressed
          in a suit, comes into the room and spots it.

                         CLARA
          Ah ah ah... what's that Ollie? You had a
          bowl yesterday.

                         IE
          But Dad already said yeah sure.
          Clara glances at Phil.
          said it. I said it

                         ARCASTIC)

                         (MORE)

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         6

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          Yeah, sure! You know it's only one bowl

                         A DAY-

                         CLARA

                         (CORRECTING HIM)
          A week.

                         PHIL
          One bowl a day a week.
          Clara, eyebrows raised, eyes the Captain Crunch already
          in Phil's hand. Phil shakes the carton at Ollie.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          This is not for you today!

                         CLARA

                         (CHUCKLES)
          Yeah right.

                         PHIL

                         (SHRUGS)
          Worth a try.

                         CLARA
          Did you get his lunch together?

                         PHIL
          Oh. Whoops.

                         CLARA

                         (SIGHS)
          You just get his breakfast and I'll do
          it.
          As Phil takes out some Special K and pours milk for Ollie
          and a glass for himself, he finishes the carton. Peeking
          back over his shoulder, he sees Clara's dialing with the
          phone to her ear as she readies Ollie's lunch. He
          stealthily pours the TINIEST BIT of milk back, quickly
          returning the carton to the fridge.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)

                         (INTO PHONE)
          Hey Jane? I'm getting a late start but
          I'll be there as soon as I can.

                         PHIL
          Sorry I dropped the ball. It's this
          Quarterly Report to Mr. Rivers today.
          You know how he freaks me out with all of
          his mixed animal metaphors that I don't

                         UNDERSTAND-

                         CLARA
          (focusing on Ollie's lunch)
          Ollie, do you want a banana?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          7.

                         PHIL
          Did you hear me?

                         CLARA
          (not looking at him)
          Uh huh. He freaks you out with his mixed
          animal metaphors that you don't
          understand. Banana Ollie?

                         PHIL

                         (BEAT)
          So I should probably get going. With the
          highway construction it takes forever to
          get downtown these days.

                         CLARA
          OK. Have a good day.
          Phil kisses her on the cheek and Clara absently wipes it
          off. He looks at her strangely. Noticing, Clara quickly
          kisses Phil on the cheek.

          CLL. -- (CONT ' D )
          Sorry. Your mouthy was still ail milky.

                         PHIL
          Sorry for the milky mouth.
          He heads out. With a sigh, Clara spots Phil's left his 1ï¿½1
          dirty glass on the counter. She cleans it in the sink,
          then gets the carton out of the fridge to put some milk
          in her own coffee. A DRIBBLE comes out. Shaking her
          head, she tosses the carton in the trash.

          EXT. FRONT OF FOSTER' S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

          As Phil exits the front door and heads to the carport
          next to the house, his overly cheery neighbor CHAZ picks
          a newspaper off his lawn.

          CHAZ (O.S.)
          Well, well! We're up bright and early,
          aren't we!

                         PHIL
          Yes we are!
          (under his breath)
          ike you say to me every morning.
          Reaching the carport, Phil scoots between his car and
          Clara's. He tries to open his driver's door, but Clara'
          car is parked TOO CLOSE and the door only opens a few
          inches. He tries to SQ'L'-Z- IN, but ends up GETTING
          STUCK halfway.

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         8

                         PHIL (CONT'D)

          OW! OW! OW!
          Dislodging himself, Phil sidesteps between the cars and
          peers around the other side of Clara's. TONS of room.
          Shaking his head, Phil crosses to his car's passenger
          side. OPEN HOUSE BANNERS piled in the garage block the
          front passenger door. Frustrated, Phil hops in the rear
          and grunts as he climbs diagonally over to the driver's
          seat.

          HONKING.

          EXT. EISENHOWER HIGHWAY - A LITTLE LATER

          The Eisenhower Highway is a parking lot as ROAD
          CONSTRUCTION blocks 3 out of 4 lanes. In the middle of
          it, Phil checks his watch, frustrated. Peering out his
          window, he looks at a billboard of a smiling older man in
          slick suit and construction hat. The sign reads MAYOR

          DIGGS APPRECIATES YOUR PATIENCE WHILE WE BUILD OUR
          HIGHWAY TO THE FUTURE! Phil scowls, then checks his
          watch.

          EXT. STREET


                         E
          Clara and JANE, another sharply dressed realtor in her
          30's, walk down the street putting up OPEN HOUSE ARROW
          SIGNS on the sidewalk.

                         JANE
          His name's Juan and he's some kind of
          Spanish, I think. He knows all these
          exclusive, underground places downtown.
          It's so exciting. And in bed...

                         (WHISPERS)
          I never knew I could still get my leg
          back that far.

                         CLARA
          Too much information, Jane.

          INT. OPEN HOUSE

          Clara and Jane speak loudly to each other as they each
          move quickly around different parts of the vacant home,
          cleaning and inspecting.
          The divorce was the best thing that ever
          happened to me. Seriously. You know
          that great nervous feeling in your
          stomach? Where you don't know what's
          going to happen next?

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         9
          On her way down the hall, Clara spots a mark up ahead on
          the wall. She reaches into her large purse and pulls out
          a mini-409 mister and a rag. With the aim of a
          SHARPSHOOTER, she sprays ahead, wiping the mark as she
          passes.

          JANE (O.S.) (CONT'D)
          With Larry, I lost that. Everything had
          just become routine, you know? Boring.
          Jane's words hit Clara close to home. Passing on through
          the kitchen, Clara notices that the REFRIGERATOR makes a
          weird, loud buzzing noise.

                         JANE (CONT'D)
          But now, all of a sudden I'm alive again!

                         CLARA
          Good for you, Jane.
          Clara takes out her frustration on the ridge, kicki
          the side and silencing it.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Good for you.

          T. FRONT HALLWAY - A LITTLE L
           Clara and Jane sit on the floor, together
          prospectuses.

                         JANE
          There's this g---eat restaurant downtown we
          went to the ot__ar night that you guys
          would love. _"st amazing view of the
          city. You guys should check it out on
          your next date night.

                         CLARA
          (focusing on stapling)
          Yeah, well, maybe. We don't really have
          those that much anymore.

                         JANE
          't have date nights:

                         CLARA
          (shrugs),
          You know, we're pretty tired all the time
          between work and Ollie. And some of the
          shows on TV these days are really great.
          Ah. I see.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          10.

                         1Ï¿½1
          They staple in silence for a second. Jane and Clara look
          at each other.

                         CLAM
          I know that's really lame.

                         JANE
          So it's Phil?

                         CLARA

                         (SIGHS)
          No, it's not Phil. It's the both of us.
          I don't know. It just... happened.

                         JANE
          So why don't you change it? All you have
          to do is stir things up and have one
          great, sexy, exciting night again.

                         CLARA
          I guess. Maybe.

                         JANE
          Not maybe. Tonight.

                         CLARA
          Nah. Tonight's no good.

                         Â¢

                         JANE
          Why not? Seriously think about it.
          What's really gonna be more important
          tonight than that?
          Clara takes this in. Jane's right.

          INT. CHICAGO MERCANTILE EXCHANGE

          Checking his watch, Phil shakes his head as he rushes
          through the large bullpen of the Chicago Mercantile
          Exchange. In the pits all around him, BUYERS and SELLERS
          scream out their orders.

          INT. MR. RIVERS' OFFICE

          In a dark wood office with STUFFED AR 'ï¿½ L HEADS lining
          the walls, a young, smartly dressed man in his 20's,
          GEORGE, quietly goes through a binder with MR. RIVERS,
          60, at the older man's desk. As Phil bursts in they both
          look over.

                         PHIL
          I'm sorry I'm late. The construction on
          the highways is insane these days!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          MR. RIVERS
          Don't worry about it, Phil. It's fine.
          Catch your breath.
          George gives Mr. Rivers an ornate, pal-sy handshake, then
          heads out with the binder, nodding at Phil. Phil nods
          back warily, then takes out his binder, ready to launch
          into his report.

          MR. RIVERS (CONT'D)
          Uh, Phil. Listen, before we start...
          I've been thinking... this next quarter
          we need to venture into open tundra.
          Start really ripping the meat.

                         PHIL
          (beat, trying to decipher)
          Uh. OK. You mean... take the fund in a
          more high risk direction?

          MR.
          Yeah. That's wha: I - -aid.
          Sure. OK, fine. I can work up some
          higher risk options and come back
          tomorrow.

                         Â¢

          MR. RIVERS

                         (CLEARS THROAT)
          OK. The thing is Phil, tomorrow I want
          George to give me his thoughts on where
          we need to be hunting too.

                         PHIL
          Oh.

          MR. RIVERS
          s nothing personal.

                         (BEAT)
          So let me get this straight. You're
          telling me that tomorrow I'm going to
          have to interview for the job I already
          have? Against George?

          MR. RIVERS
          I wouldn't put it like that. I Just need
          our pack leader to be more like... like a
          momma kangaroo. Ya get me?

                         PHIL
          Kinda.

                         (BEAT)
          Actually, no. Not really at all.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          12.

          MR. RIVERS
          The blind baby kangaroo opens its mouth
          and knows its momma's teat is just always
          there, ready to suckle. But at the same
          time, momma kangaroo's still a wild,
          dangerous creature.

                         PHIL
          Sorry. Still not totally getting you.

          MR. RIVERS
          I've had a wife and a family. Three of
          them. It's hard to stay the fastest
          cheetah when you need to mind the pack,
          Phil. George lives in the city, doesn't
          have a family to worry about. He can rip
          the meat.

                         PHIL
          Listen, Mr. Rivers. I don't need to...
          I was ripping big bloody hunks of meat
          and eating them like tartare when George
          was still... in the jungle!

          MR. RIVERS

                         (BEAT)
          What does that mean?

                         PHIL
          I can't be demoted, Mr. Rivers. I just
          can't.

          MR. RIVERS
          Listen, nothing's set. It's just I gotta
          say that lately your leadership on this
          has felt a little... well... tame.

                         PHIL

                         (GETTING UP)
          That's all you needed to say, Mr. Rivers!
          I'll see you tomorrow.
          Determined, Phil marches out of Mr. River's office.

                         SCHOOL
          Clara talks on her cellphone as she picks up Ollie from
          school.

                         CLARA
           So it's OK if we drop him off at 7? Our
          reservation's at 7:45.
          She passes another MOTHER desperately searching for a
          Kleenex for her BOY with snot dripping from his nose.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          13.
          Without breaking stride, Clara reaches into her purse and
          hands the grateful mother a tissue, then takes out a mini-
          bottle of Purell and cleans her hands.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)

                         (INTO PHONE)
          Thanks Mom. I really appreciate it.

          FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)
          Mrs. Foster?
          Clara turns to see Ollie's teacher, the tight buttoned
          MRS. CARDIGAN, 45, walking toward her in the parking lot.

                         CLARA
          Oh, that's Ollie's teacher. I'll see you
          later.
          Clara hangs up her phone and greets Mrs. Cardigan with a
          warm smile.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          I've been meaning to tell you that you
          can just call me Clara, Mrs. Cardigan.

          MRS. CARDIGAN
          I'd prefer Mrs. Foster. Boundaries
          matter.

                         CLARA 1Ï¿½1

          OK...

          MRS. CARDIGAN
          Can we speak a moment? Alone?

                         CLARA
          Sure, sure. Ollie, go to the car.
          As Ollie does, Clara turns back to Mrs. Cardigan.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Is everything OK?

          MRS. CARDIGAN
          Well, I'm afraid not. Oliver's been
          antagonizing the girls in the class a
          great deal lately. Especially Jenny
          Diggs.

                         CLARA
          Really? Oh no. Why do you think that's
          happening?

          MRS. CARDIGAN
          I'm going to leave that to you and your
          nd to figure out. But beyond that,
          ,i: overall attitude these days is
          just... sub par. E

                         (MORE)

                         

                         

                         

                         

          14.

          MRS. CARDIGAN (CONT'D)
          His penmanship is sloppy. He lacks
          motivation and tries to just "get by" o
          assignments. You know, this is a very
          competitive school, Mrs. Foster. In my
          opinion, maybe you should consider
          whether this is really the right
          environment for him.

                         CLARA
          (beat, stunned)
          Uh... wow. OK.
          Mrs. Cardigan starts away. Clara climbs into the car,
          watching Mrs. Cardigan.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          (under her breath)
          Wow. What a bitch.

                         OLLIE
          Did you just call Mrs. Cardigan a bitch?

                         CLARA
          (remembering Ollie's in the

                         BACK)
          No.

                         OL LIE
          Yeah you did.

                         Â¢

                         CLARA
          I didn't. I really didn't.
          Clara quickly pulls out.

          CAR PORT - LATER
          Phil SQUEEZES out of his drivers seat with folders full
          of RESEARCH. As he walks toward the house he spots the
          TONS of room on the other side of Clara's car and shakes
          his head.

                         PHIL
          Unbelievable!

          INT. OLLIE'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER

          Still carrying his research, Phil peeks in on Ollie, who
          packs a suitcase.

                         PHIL
          Hey buddy. Finally moving out? I gotta
          tell you it's about time.

                         OLLIE

                         0
          I'm going to Nana's tonight.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          15.

                         PHIL
          On a school night? Why?

                         OLLIE

                         (SHRUGS)
          Mom says you guys are going out.

                         PHIL
          Tonight? What? No.

                         (CALLS OUT)
          Clara?

          INT. PHIL AND CLARA'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER

          Phil marches into the bedroom.

                         PHIL
          Clara? Cl-
          He stops in the doorway as he spots her. Made up in an
          evening dress in front of a full length mirror, Clara
          looks STUNNING as she finishes putting an earring on.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          Wow. Wow.
          Clara tns and smiles.

                          IS

                         CLARA
          I thought I could take you out to
          celebrate you finally getting that report
          in. A romantic dinner downtown like the
          old days, and teen...
          (raises :,er eyebrows)
           Ollie's going to stay at Mom's so we have
           the house all to ourselves. All night.

                         PHIL
          Wow... It sounds... great.

                         CLARA
          Great!
          She turns back and continues getting ready.

                         PHIL
          It's just... is there any chance we coul
          take a rain check?

                         CLARA

                         (TURNS)
          A "rain check"?

                         PHIL
          Yeah. Unfortunately I really need to do
          a bit of work tonight. E

                         

                         

                         

                         

          16.

                         CLARA
          I thought all the cramming was for this
          report today. Did something go wrong?

                         PHIL

                         (BEAT)
          Uh, no. Nothing like that. I just
          decided I could play with it a little
          more. Make it a little better.
          Clara takes him in a moment.

                         CLARA
          Oh. OK.
          Controlling herself, Clara starts putting her jewelry
          back in the case.

                         PHIL
          Listen, I'm sorry...

                         CLARA
          You don't need to apologize, Phil.

                         PHIL
          Listen, if I had more warning-

                         E C
          Then something else would have come up.
          You know it. That's the thing, Phil. We
          used to do things on the spur of the
          moment all the time. Even after Ollie
          was born. Now we never do anything
          together.
          They stare at each other, then Phil breaks

                         PHIL
          Listen... any other night.

                         CLARA
          OK. Maybe another time. Let me just get
          out of this and call my Mom then.
          As Clara heads into the closet, Phil looks after her,
          feeling terrible. About to leave, he notices that around
          the room, Clara's SET UP CANDLES in anticipation of their
          romantic night. He looks down again at the papers in his
          hand and sucks in, conflicted.

          INT. CLOSET - MOMENTS LATER

          As Clara starts to take her dress off, Phil scoots past
          her, humming to himself. She looks over to see him
          choosing a tie and jacket from his side. Clara looks
          him, still unsure.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          17.

                         PHIL
          That dress really wasn't playing fair,
          Clara.
          With a smile, Clara watches Phil tie his tie.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          Well get a move on, girl!
          She zips her dress back up.

          A DOORBELL RINGS.

          INT. RUTH'S FRONT DOOR

          RUTH, Clara's mother, opens her front door and brightens.

                         RUTH
          (to Clara and Ollie)
          Hey sweeties.

                         (SUDDENLY COLD)
          Phil.

                         PHIL
          Ruth.

                         RUTH
          Nana rented us a special treat tonight
          before bed, Ollie! The Wizard of Oz!

          PHIL,
          Wow. Wizard of Oz. Don't you think
          that's a little scary for a 5 year old?

                         RUTH
          (not looking at him)
          No, Phil, I don't.

                         PHIL
          OK... not so sure about that.

                         RUTH

                         PHIL
          Clara? What do you think?

                         RUTH
          (putting her pressure on)
          Yeah, Clara. What do you think?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          18.

          EXT. FRONT OF HOUSE

          Phil's flustered as he and Clara head out the door
          towards Phil's car.

                         CLARA
          I'm sorry, Phil. I just felt like she's
          doing us a favor tonight.

                         PHIL
          fine. Fine.
          oust as they climb into the car, Clara stops.

                         CLARA
          You know, I should pee before we go.

                         PHIL

                         (BEAT)
          OK. Sure.
          As Clara runs back to Ruth's house, Phil plops down in
          the driver's seat.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          I'll just wait in the car as you go back
          E inside to pee. Again.

          EXT. EISENHOWER PARKWAY - SUNSET

          As the sun sets, Phil and Clara sit in BUMPER TO BUMPER
          TRAFFIC. It extends for MILES toward the center of the
          city.

          CAR - S
          Phil turns on the air conditioner and adjusts the vents.

                         PHIL
          You gotta almost feel sorry for Mayor
          Diggs. Tries to widen all the highways
          to get reelected, but all everyone's
          going to remember when it's time to vote
          is all this mess.

                         CLARA SHIVERS

                         CLARA
          You're hot?

                         PHIL
          Yeah. That's why I turned on the air.

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         19Â®

                         E

                         CLAPA

                         OHM
          Clara shuts the passenger side vents which causes AIR to
          GUST out of Phil's vents, into his face. He glances at
          Clara, oblivious, then reaches over and turns down the
          air.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          You know, Mrs. Cardigan told me today
          that Ollie's been antagonizing his
          daughter.

                         PHIL
          Antagonizing? How does a five year old
          "antagonize?" I'm sure she wouldn't have
          mentioned it if it wasn't "the Mayor's
          daughter."

                         CL
          She also went on that Ollie's
          penmanship's sloppy and he's not
          motivated enough.

                         PHIL
          (trying to make a joke of
          Got all my best traits, huh?
          He looks over to see that Clara looks out of the wiF n,,
          not responding - a response in itself. He sucks in.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          I think he's fine.

                         CLARA
          She actually had the gall to suggest we
          should think about sending him somewhere
          else.

                         PHIL
          Maybe she's right if the school has that
          kind of attitude.
          Clara's about to object bit stops herself and takes a
          breath, playing affection-.-ely with the back of Phil's
          hair.

                         CL RA
          You know what? All we ever end up
          talking about is Ollie or work. Let's
          just focus on us tonight.

                         PHIL

                         SMILES)
          Great. I'm all for tha
          Beat. They sit in silence in the traffic.

                         

                         

                         

                         
          Ga.

                         CLARA
          So what are you thinking about?

                         PHIL
          Right now? Traffic.

                         CLARA
          Oh. Well, I heard this unbelievable
          story from Jane today.

                         PHIL
          Yeah?

                         CLARA
          She has this old classmate who went into
          labor with her second child the other
          day. She's totally healthy and
          everything's normal with the pregnancy.
          So she goes into labor and walks into the
          emergency room, and the second the nurses
          and attendants see her come in, they go
          into a panic and start yelling A,LA! ATMiA!

          AMA!

                         PHIL
          What's AMA?

                         CLARA
          Advanced Maternal Age!

                         PHIL

                         (CHUCKLES)
          No! You've got to be joking me!

                         CLARA
          kid you not!

                         PHIL
          That's unbelievable!

                         CLARA
          I know.
          Beat. Clara looks out the window.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          The funny thing is she's my age,
          actually.
          Suddenly, Phil's smile fades as he realizes the possible
          ulterior motive.

                         PHIL
          Huh.

                         S

                         

                         

                         

                         

          21.

                         E
          Clara picks up on his change and figures out what he's
          thinking. A bit flustered, she opens her vents again.
          Phil looks over at her.

                         PHIL (CONIT'B)
          I thought you were cold.

                         CLARA
          I was, but then you turned it down and I
          got hot.

                         PHIL
          But I turned it down because... you see
          when you open and close your vents it
          makes my... never mind.
          Phil reaches over and turns up the air again. Tapping
          his fingers on the wheel with a sigh, he gets fed up,
          suddenly veering the car to the shoulder and speeding
          toward the exit.

                         CL AAA
          What are you doing?

                         PHIL
          I'm just gonna take a shortcut.

                         CLARA
          Phil, please don't. You think they're
          shortcuts but they always take longer.
          And we're already-

                         PHIL
          Clara, please just trust me, OK
          They zoom ahead for a moment in silence. Frustrated,
          Clara shuts her vents, once again sending a POWERFUL GUST
          OF COLD AIR onto Phil's face. Biting his tongue, he just
          leaves it blowing on him as they drive.

          INT. THE SIGNATURE ROOM

          Phil and Clara rush off the elevator and enter the
          Signature Restaurant on the 95t Flcor of the John
          Hancock Center, with dramatic s- Lng views over
          skyline of downtown Chicago and Lake Michigan.

                         PHIL
          I promise you it wouldn't have been any
          faster. I promise!
          OK, Phil. Will you just tell them we're
          here? I'm gonna go pee.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         

                         

                         

                         

          22.

                         PHIL
          Now?

                         CLARA
          What?

                         PHIL
          Nothing.
          As Clara hurries off, Phil, shaking his head, makes his
          way through the crowds to the SUPERMODEL HOSTESS.

                         SUPERMODEL HOSTESS
          Good evening. Welcome to the Signature
          Room.

                         PHIL
          Thanks. The name is Foster.

                         SUPERMODEL HOSTESS
          Foster... Oh, I'm sorry. We just had
          give away your table.

                         PHIL
          You gave away our table? We're just ten
          minutes late!

                         SUPERMODEL HOSTESS

                         E

                         AD SERIOUS)
          Actually, you're 11 minutes late.

                         PHIL

                         (STUNNED)
          OK. But don't you guys have, like, some
          kind of grace period or something?

                         SUPERMODEL HOSTESS
          have an eight minute grace period.

                         PHIL
          You have an eight minute grace period?
          How did you come up with an eight minute
          grace period?

                         SUPERMODEL HOSTESS

                         (SHRUGS)
          I just work here,

                         PHIL
          So what if someone's 9 minutes late?

                         SUPERMODEL HOSTESS
          We're allowed to give a two minute grace
          on the grace.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          23.

                         PHIL
          OK. Which adds up to ten minutes! We're
          11 minutes late. That's just one minute
          later than the grace on the grace.

                         SUPERMODEL HOSTESS
          I'm sorry sir, but management
          specifically said no grace on the grace
          on the grace. After ten minutes, we send
          a host around calling your name and if
          there's no answer, we give the table
          away. Sorry.

                         PHIL
          So how long's the wait for another table?

                         SUPERMODEL HOSTESS
          Well, let's see...
          Phil looks on as the Supermodel Hostess runs her finger
          down a LONG LIST OF WRITE-IN NAMES. As she turns to the
          next page...

                         PHIL
          Oh boy.

          INT. WOMEN'S BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

          Even the bathroom has sweeping views of Chicago. As
          Clara leaves a bathroom stall, she notices a NERVOUS
          YOUNG WOMAN washing her face over and over.
          A knock and a SLICK LOOKING MAN quickly peeks his head in
          the Women's room.

          SLICK LOOKING MAN
          We've gotta leave now.

                         (SPOTTING CLARA)
          Whoops. Sorry.

                         CLARA
          It's OK.
          The Nervous Woman quickly leaves the bathroom with the
          Man. Clara looks after them a second, then washes her
          hands.

          INT. BAR - MOMENTS LATER

           Clara finds Phil at the bar, downing handfuls of peanuts.

                          CLARA
          How lc= -until they seat us?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          24.

                         PHIL
          Two hours. They gave away our
          reservation. Peanut?

                         CLARA
          What?!? Did you tell them that we hit
          traffic?

                         PHIL
          They wouldn't care, Clara. If they call
          your name at the bar and you don't
          answer, they give your table away. So
          how about a nut?
          A YOUNG HOST (not the Hostess) mills around the bar.

                         YOUNG HOST

          GALE PARTY?
          Clara sighs, frustrated.

                         CLARA
          I mean, did you try something like
          telling her it was our anniversary, or my
          birthday, or slipping her some money-

                         PHIL
          Oh, I see. Lying and graft were the
          answer!
          Clara shakes her head, then notices the YOUNG HOST
          searching for the party and starts focusing on him
          instead of Phil as she thinks.

                         YOUNG HOST

          GALE PARTY?

                         PHIL
          I'm sure if you had been there instead of
          peeing again you would have done it
          better.

                         YOUNG HOST

          GALE PARTY?

                         CLARA

                         (WATCHING HOST)

                         PHIL
          You're not even listening to me, are you?

                         CLARA
          (repeats, still watching)
          Yeah I am. You're sure if I had been
          there instead of peeing again I would
          have done it better.

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         25
          Clara, Just because you can repeat the
          words I say doesn't mean you're-

                         YOUNG HOST

          LAST CALL! GALE-

                         CLARA
          Sorry! We're right here!

                         PHIL
          Wait. What are you doing?

                         CLARA
          Shhh!
          The Young Host approaches.

                         YOUNG HOST
          Gale party of three?

                         CLARA
          The third's running a little
          going to start without them.

                         YOUNG HOST
          eat. Follow me.
          Phil shoots Clara a look, but she ignores it. He falls
          into line after her as she follows the Young Host to th
          restaurant.

          INT. ANOTHER PART OF THE SIGNATURE ROOM - MOMENTS LA

          hields his face as they pass the Supermodel Hos
          at the Greeting Station. The Young Host leads them
          secluded table right by the windows - THE BEST TABLE

          THE RESTAURANT.

                         YOUNG HOST
          (handing them menus)
          Enjoy your dinner.
          The Young, Host leaves.

                         CLARA
          See? Was that so hard to do, Phil?
          bad to be the Gales, eh?
          Clara opens her menu as looks nervously around the
          restaurant.

                         CLARA (CONT'B)
          Look Phil! It's white truffle season!
          I'm totally doing it!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          26.

                         E

                         PHIL
          We can't do this, Clara.

                         CLARA
          I'm taking you out.

                         PHIL
          Not the truffles.

                         (DEAD SERIOUS)
          This is stealing.

                         CLARA

                         (CHUCKLES)
          Stealing? You're kidding, right.

                         PHIL
          We're not the Gales.

                         CL ARA
          So? You said yourself - if you don't
          answer at the bar they give your table
          away.

                         PHIL
          Well, what if they show up now?

                         N CLAR 2
          u get spanked'

                         PHIL
          I'm serious!

                         CLARA

                         (SIGHS SADLY)
          I don't know. What if they do, Phil?
          Clara picks up her menu and reads, shaking her head.

                         PHIL
          What?

                         CLARA
          It's just... I don't know. You used to
          be the one who would think up stuff like
          this all the time.
          This hits Phil. He takes in his wife reading the menu
          for a beat.

                         PHIL
          You know what? You're absolutely right.
          Clara lowers her menu and they look at each other for
          what feels like the first time tonight.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          I'm sorry, Mrs. Gale.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          27.

                         E

                         CLARA

                         (SMILES)
          It's OK, Mr. Gale. And might I add you
          look very handsome tonight?

                         PHIL
          You're not looking too shabby yours
          Mrs. Gale.

           GRUFF VOICE (O.S.)
          Mr. Gale?
          They turn, surprised, to see TWO BURLY MEN in suits at
          their table. The Older of the two politely speaks to
          them.

          OLDER BURLY MAN
          We need to have a word with you both.

                         CLARA
          What's this about?

          OLDER BURLY MAN
          k you know what this is about.
          you could please come with us.

                         PHIL N
          Why can't we talk here? u

          OLDER BURLY 'MAN
          (beat, smiles)
          I think it would save everyone a lot of
          embarrassment.
          (gestures with hand)
          Please...
          The Younger Burly Man comes behind Clara's chair to pull
          it out. Getting up, Phil shoots Clara an "I told you so"
          look as he follows the older Burly Man through the
          restaurant toward the kitchen doors, the Younger Burly
          Man walking behind them with Clara.

          INT. BACK KITCHEN AREA - MOMENTS LATER

          The Burly Man leads them through the kitchen. A WAITER
          stops, surprised.

                         WAITER
          Can I help you?
          OLDER s _ ï¿½'LY MAN
          Nah. We're fine Â®
          Walking to the rear service elevator, the Older Burly Man
          pushes the down button. The elevator opens.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          28.

                         PHIL
          Whoa. Wait a minute. Where are we
          going?

          OLDER BURLY MAN
          Get in, please.
          The Younger Burly Man coming up behind them crowds them
          into the elevator.

                         CLARA
          Hey! Jesus!
          The elevator doors shut and the older Burly Man pushes
          the G Floor then nods to his partner. They reach in
          their pockets.

                         PHIL
          Listen, this is all getting out of hand,
          OK? I admit we maybe did something a
          teeny bit wrong, but-
          Suddenly, they grab Phil and Clara, putting HANDKERCHIEFS
          over their noses and mouths. Phil and Clara veil and
          struggle for a moment, then PASS OUT.

          E CLOSEUP ON PHIL'S NOSE
          An AMMONIA STICK waves back and forth under Phil's nose
          and he startles awake, disoriented, to see he's TIED TO A
          CHAIR in the middle of a GIGANTIC MEAT LOCKER. A VIDEO
          CAMERA on a tripod aims at their faces and across the
          room, the Younger Burly Man sorts through items from
          Clara's purse and Phil's wallet scattered all over the
          table.

                         PHIL
          Whoa. What the hell is this?
          Tied in the chair next to him, Clara jumps as the Older
          Burly Man waves the stick under her nose.

                         CLARA

                         (FREAKED)
          Phil?!? What's going on?

                         PHIL
          I don't know.
          A VOICE speaks from a speakerphone on the table

                         SPEAKERPHONE
          The chloroform may make you feel dizzy
          for a few moments, but it will go away.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          29.

                         U
          Phil takes in what's going on, freaked.

                         PHIL
          Listen... you can just have all our
          money, OK? Whatever's there, it's yours.
          We're not looking to cause problems or
          put up any kind fight. We'll just walk
          away and not report anything, OK? All we
          want is for you to let us go unharmed.

                         SPEAKERPHONE
          We need to discuss your little stunt
          tonight first, Mr. and Mrs. "Gale." Or
          should we say... what is it Harry?
          HARRY, the Younger Burly Man reads Phil and Clara's IDs,
          which he's grabbed off of them.

                         HARRY
          Phil and Clara Foster.

                         PHIL

                         (BEAT)
          That's what this is abo

                         SPEAKERPHONE
          else would it be about, Mr. Foster

                         (BEAT)
          Wait. `'This a joke, right? Some funny
          little bald guy's gonna jump out and
          scare us and say, "Gotcha!" or somethi
          OK, where is he? Where's that guy?

                         SPEAKERPHONE
          You think this is a joke?
          Phil looks at the faces of the two thugs. No one's
          joking.

                         PHIL

                         (STUNNED)
          No. Are you insane?!? You don't drug
          people and tie them up for that! This i
          I just- I hope you know this is gonna go
          way beyond a shitty review in Za
          I'm seriously pissed off!

          INT. DARK BACK ROOM

          SHADOWY FIGURE talks on a phone as he looks at a screen
          showing Phil and Clara in chairs.

                         E

                         

                         

                         

                         

          30.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         SPEAKERPHONE
          Yes. Well, I'm a little upset as well,
          Mr. Foster. And confused. It would help
          me to know why a couple like the two of
          you would try to pull something like
          this.

          T NT. WAREHOUSE
          Phil's now getting really annoyed.

                         PHIL
          You must be kidding! Like a million
          people don't do it every single night of
          the week! This is unbelievable! I'm
          just in shock here!
          Harry and Frank look at each other, puzzled.

                         SPEAKERPHONE
          I enjoy your humor, Mr. Foster. Now why
          don't you start by telling me how you got
          into the Rainbow to set it uD-

                         PHIL
          "Into the Rainbow?" What the hell's
          that? Restaurant code?

                         LJ

                         SPEAKERPHONE
          -and then you can tell me where the
          photos are that you arranged to bring
          tonight.

                         PHIL
          Photos?
          Clara figures out what's happened.

                         CLARA
          Wait a minute. I think there's been a
          really big mistake here. We're not the
          Gales.

                         SPEAKERPHONE
          know you're not the Gales.

                         PHIL
          They know we're not the Gales. Don't you
          get it!

                         CLARA
          No, Phil. I think they think we're
          actually "the Gales" who made the
          reservation tonight.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          31.

                         PHIL

                         (REALIZING)
          Ohhhhhh. Oh. No. She's right. We're
          not those Gales. You've got the wrong
          people. Really.

                         SPEAKERPHONE
          Then why were you two at the Gales'
          table, Mr. Foster?

                         PHIL
          OK, listen, what happened is we lost our
          reservation and when the host came around
          yelling the Gales' name and no one
          answered, my wife said that we were them.
          I swear on my life to you that's what
          happened.

                         SPEAKEFP IC
          You're saying you just took someone
          else's reservation you didn't know?
          That's what you want me to believe?

                         PHIL
          I know that seems really weird. Listen,
          I agree, that's what I said to her.

                         FRANK
          One problem with your story. When I came
          over to the table - and you guys were all
          alone - you were still calling each other
          Gale.

                         PHIL
          That was just... we were... no, you don't
          understand...

                         SPEAKERPHONE
          We'll need to move things along, Frank.
          With a nod, Frank reaches into his pockets, slowly taking
          out a GUN and a handful of BULLETS. He loads the gun as
          Phil and Clara watch.

                         PHIL
          Wait a minute. What's going on?

                         CLAW
          I don't t don't like
          this.
          Clicking the loaded gun, Frank and Harry both come toward
          Phil and Clara.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         

                         

                         

                         

          32.

                         SPEAKERPHONE
          If in ten seconds you don't tell us where
          the photos are, you lose a knee, Mr.
          Foster. Ten more seconds, you lose
          another. Then we go to your wife.

                         PHIL
          Please! You can't do this! We're not
          lying!

                         SPEAKERPHONE
          One... two... three... four...
          Frank clicks the loaded gun at Phil's knee.

                         PHIL
          Oh Jesus. Don't do it!

                         SPEAKERPHONE
          Five... six... seven... eight...

                         PHIL
          Jesus!

                         CLARA

          OK FINE! FINE! YOU WIN! YOU CAN HAVE

          THE GODDAMN PHOTOS!

                         Â¢
          Everyone looks over. Phil's surprised.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          But we can't just tell you where they
          are. We have to take you to them.

          EXT. WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - A LITTLE LATER

          In the middle of the deserted warehouse district, Clara
          and Phil exit the meat packing plant behind Frank, who
          carries Clara's purse, Harry holding a gun as he follows
          them. As they head toward a Towncar, Frank throws the
          keys back to Harry.

                         FRANK
          You drive with her in front.

                         PHIL

                         (WHISPERS)
          So what's your plan here?

                         CLARA

                         (WHISPERS)
          I don't have a plan Phil.

                         PHIL

                         (WHISPERS)
          You don't have a plan?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          33.

                         CLARA E

                         (WHISPERS)
          No. I was just trying to keep our knees
          for the time being.

                         PHIL

                         (WHISPERS)
          Well, if we end up in that car with them
          we're as good as dead.

                         FRANK
          Quiet!

                         CLARA

                         (WHISPERS)
          Well, any time you want to help...

                         PHIL

                         (WHISPERS)
          What's that supposed to mean?

                         FRANK
          I said quiet!
          They continue walking toward the Iowncar, Phil thin ing
          hard. Suddenly, his expression changes and he star s
          weaving dizzily, putting his hand to his forehead.

                         CLARA
          Phil?
          He drops to the ground.

                         PHIL
          Whoa.

                         CLARA
          Phil? What is it?

                         PHIL
          I'm... not feeling so great...

                         HARRY
          's wrong with him?

                         CL:
          I don't know.

                         PHIL

                         (BREATHING HARD)
          I didn't... eat dinner and when I don't
          my blood sugar... Hypoglycemic...

                         CLARA
          You're not hypoglycemic.
          Phil shoots Clara a quick LOOK OF

                         

                         

                         

                         

          34.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)

                         (CATCHING ON)
          You're diabetic! You never get the terms
          right, Phil! Oh no! This is bad, guys.

                         PHIL
          I just can't... go any further.
          Harry and Frank look at each other, not sure what to do.

                         HARRY
          Should we call Mr. Stockton?

                         FRANK
          Don't say his name, you idiot!

                         HARRY
          Sorry! I was just-

                         FRANK
          We'll just throw him in the back and have
          her show us.
          hey move over to pick up Phil. Clara thinks fast.

                         CLARA
          Wait! In my purse there's a Luna Bar.
          If you give it to me I can find it for
          him.
          With a sigh, Frank hands Clara her purse. She rummages
          inside...
          and quickly WHIPS OUT her MINI 409 SPRAY, spritzing
          Frank right in the eyes. With a shriek, he falls back
          grabbing his face and dropping his gun. Clara makes a
          dash and grabs it. As Frank blindly lunges after her,
          she KNEES HIM IN THE BALLS. He collapses on the ground,
          whimpering in pain. She spins and points the gun at
          Harry.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Drop the gun and the keys.

                         PHIL
          oa! Clara! No
          Harry drops them, raising his hands. Phil gets up and
          grabs the gun and keys, then awkwardly hits Harry as hard
          as he can on the back of the neck with the butt of the
          gun.
          Harry looks at him, confused.

                         HARRY
          Ow! Why, man?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          35.

                         E

                         PHIL
          Sorry. i was trying to knock you out.

                         HARRY
          Why,

                         PHIL
          ought that's what you do when-

                         CLARA
          Phil! Just c'mon!

                         PHIL

                         USHING OFF)
          Sorry.
          Befuddled, Phil meets Clara at the car and they climb in
          and speed away.

          PHIL (V.0.) (CONT'D)
          OK, let me just start from the very
          beginning...

          INT. POLICE STATION INTERVIEW ROOM - A LITTLE LATER

          Phil excitedly chatters next to Clara at a table in an
          interrogation room in the police station. Across the
          table, a YOUNG POLICE OFFICER takes their statement

                         PHIL
          We got to the restaurant late because we
          hit all this traffic on the highway-

                         CL AAA
          the shortcut.

                         PHIL
          What?

                         CLARA

                         UGS)
          I just think we might have made it on
          time if we stayed on the highway. Your
          shortcuts end up being long cuts most o
          the time.

                         (BEAT)
          OK, are you going to tell the Policeman
          or and I gonna tell him?

                         CLARA
          You can tell him.

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         PHIL
          Because you always interrupt me when I
          try to tell stories, and every time you
          do it disrupts my flow.

                         CLARA
          Fine, you tell it. I won't say another
          word.

                         PHIL
          Fine.

                         (BEAT)
          See, now I've totally lost where I was.

          CLARA AND YOUNG POLICEMAN
          You got to the restaurant late-

                         PHIT
          Yeah. Even using my shortcut which, by
          the way, was a shortcut - and they gave
          away our reservation. So we were at the
          bar and the host was calling out for
          these other people over and over-

                         CLARA
          Which is what they do right before they
          cancel a reservation anyway.

                         PHIL
          I thought you said you weren't going to
          interrupt me, Clara.

                         C
          I just want him to understand we weren't
          really "stealing" someone else's

                         RESERVATI
          Across the table, the Young Police officer, eyebrows
          raised, watches Phil and Clara volley back and forth.

                         PHIL
          Do you think he really cares, Clara?
          were just kidnapped, CHLOROFORMED and
          almost shot! I don't think he's going
          turn around and book us for reservation
          theft! Am I right?

          YOUNG POLIO OFFICER
          Please. Go on.

                         PHIL
          So all of a sudden Clara yells out that
          we're these other people.

                         YOUNG POLICEMAN

                         (SURPRISED)
          You just took someone else's reservation?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          37.

                         PHIL
          Yeah. I know! Even the guy on the
          speakerphone couldn't believe it!

                         CLARA
          You two kinda bonded over that, didn't
          you?

                         PHIL
          We didn't "bond" over it. I'm just
          saying, speakerphone guy obviously
          thought it was weird to do.

          YC JG POLICEMAN
          Guys, you lost We were in the
          restaurant.

                         CLARA

                         (IGNORING HIM)
          Ah, you mean the speakerphone guy who's
          kidnapped and drugged us thinks it's
          weird to do so it's weird to do?

                         YOUNG POLICEMAN
          Guys?
          You're new "buddy."

                         PHIL
          Oh c'mon!
          And we found out speakerphone guy's name,
          Phil. It's Mr. Stockton.
          The Young Policeman looks up, interested.

                         OF FTCER
          Mr. Stockton? Hold on a minute.
          The Officer dials an extension on the phone.

                         OFFICER C'-D)
          Lieutecant Manning? ï¿½eeird story. Havea
          couple '.n here who claim --o have escaped
          a kid- 7-ng this evening and the name
          Stockt came up. OK. Will do.
          He hangs up.

                         OFFICER (CONT'D)
          Lieutenant Manning likes to be notified
          ere's anything involving Mr.
          n.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          38.

                         E

                         PHIL
          Wait. So you already know about this
          guy? You know who he is?
          A knock at the door and a handsome man in his late 40's,
          LIEUTENANT MANNING, enters the room with a smile. He
          reaches over and shakes their hands.

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING
          How do you do. Lieutenant Manning.
          The Officer offers him his note pad.

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING

                         (CONT'D)
          Nah, as long as they're here might as
          well get everything from the horse's
          mouth, right?
          As the Officer heads out of the room, Lieutenant Manning
          sidles down into his seat.

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING

                         (CONT'D)
          Can I get you guys anything to drink?
          Coffee? Water? Maybe a shot or two of
          r whiskey?

                         1 1

                         PHIL
          That sounds more like

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING
          So why don't you tell me all about your
          incident with Mr. Stockton.

                         PHIL
          You tell it, Clara.

                         CLARA
          Oh, don't be like that, Phil. Please.

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING
          Guys... you've obviously been through
          something traumatic tonight. Thankfully
          it's over and you're both safe and sound.
          Maybe you should cut each other a little
          bit more of a break.
          Phil and Clara look at each other, each letting out air.
          Manning's right.

                         PHIL
          Seriously, Clara. You tell him.

                         CJ __
          Well, we never a. t_::ally "met"
          Stockton.

                         (MORE)

                         

                         

                         

                         

          39.

          CLARA (CONT`B)
          He was in another room on a speakerphone
          where these guys who kidnapped us took
          us. But he was obviously the one pulling
          the strings.

                         PHIL
          Who is this Stockton guy anyway?

          LIEUI N'T' MANNING

                         (WRITING)
          Let me fill you in on all that later.
          Now, why would he have wanted to kidnap
          you two?

                         CLARA
          Honestly, you wouldn't believe this, but
          it's because we sat down at the wrong
          table tonight for dinner.

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING
          (looks up, interest
          Really? The wrong table?

                         CLARA
          We pretended to be someone else who
          didn't show up for their reservations.
          My idea. And it turned out that these
          people must have something this Mr.
          Stockton wants.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING
          Do you know what?

                         CLARA

                         (SHRUGS)
          Photos.
          Lieutenant looks up, interested, then writes again.

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING
          That's all you know?
          Phil and Clara look at each other. Nod.

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING-

                         (CONT'D)
          OK. I'm just confused about one thing.
          When you took this other reservation, how
          did you know for sure that the real Gales
          weren't going to show up late?

                         CLARA

                         (BEAT)
          Excuse me?

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         ENANT MANNING
          How were you so sure the Gales weren
          going to show up if you don't know the
          at all?
          Clara looks down at the table, furrowing her brow.

                         PHIL
          Clara?

                         CLARA
          Sorry. I... I lost my train of thought.

                         PHIL
          Well, I can pick things up then.
          Phil notices Clara giving him a LOOK.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          What? Why are you looking at me like
          that?

                         CLARA
          (intensifying the look)
          I'm not looking at you like anything.
          doesn't pick up on it. Shrugs.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         PHIL
          OK, well, I had the same question for her
          when we sat down, which she thought was

                         CRAZY-
          Rubbing her forehead, Clara KICKS Phil's leg HARD under
          the table.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          OW! Jesus!
          Clara stink-eyes Phil AGAIN, trying to get the message
          across.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          And there's that look again!

          CLARE?
          look! No. Looking. At all.
          RINGING. Lieutenant Manning reaches into his jacket
          pocket and checks the number on the cellphone. He hops
          up.

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING
          Can you excuse me a moment?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          41.

                         E
          utenant Manning gets up and exits the room. Clara
          does to the window in the door and watches him walk down
          the hall to his office as he talks on the phone. Phil
          puts his leg on the table, pulling up his pant leg to
          inspect.

                         PHIL
          OK, I'm not dense, Clara. That was not
          an accident and if those weren't looks-

                         CLARA
          Phil, we're in trou

                         PHIL
          What are you talking about?

                         CLARA
          He's in on this. He's got something to
          do with it.

                         PHIL
          The police guy? Clara, that's tota

                         PARANOID-

                         CLARA
          never told him about the Gale

                         PHIL
          What do you mean?

                         CLARA
          He said, "How did you know the Gales
          weren't coming." I never told him that
          was the name of the reservation we

                         PHIL
          be I said it to the other

                         CLARA
          He didn't take the other notes,
          Phil. Remember?
          s hil as well.

                         PHIL
          Oh God.

                         CLARA
          How do we get out of here?

          INT. ING'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

          Manning talks in his off ice.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          42.

                         E

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING
          Uh huh. I know you don't. It will be
          contained. Right now.
          Hanging up the phone, Manning walks quickly back through
          the police station to the interview room. He stops in
          the doorway...
          .it's EMPTY. Confused, he turns to an OFFICER outside
          at the desk.

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING

                         (CONT'D)
          Where'd they go?

                         OFFICER
          They said you were done with them.
          Manning walks quickly back to his office.
          Sitting behind his desk, Manning enters a password on his
          computer and starts typing out an ALL POINTS BULLETIN.
          We are CLOSE UP on the computer screen as the words come

                         UP

          ALL LOCAL AND FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT... PHIL AND CLARA

          FOSTER... FUGITIVES FROM JUSTICE... ARMED AND DANGEROUS.

          INT. TOWNCAR - LATE

          Clara drives as Phil scans the rearview mirror from the
          passenger seat.

                         CLARA
          We can't just go to another police
          station, Phil! We don't know how big
          this is! It might not just be Manning!

                         PHIL
          Well then we're screwed! Who do we go
          to? The FBI? The CIA?

                         CLARA

                         (SHAKES HEAD)
          They're not going to believe us over a
          Police Lieutenant!

                         (REALIZING)
          Shit. This is their car, Phil. We gotta
          lose it too.
          Searching the street, Clara spots a OPEN PARKING SPACE.
          She whips the wheel around, trying to parallel park into
          the space.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          43.

                         RÏ¿½

                         U

                         PHIL
          You've got it, Clara. Spin it back now!

                         CLARA
          just let me do it,
          She spins too late and too severely, hitting the curb.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Dammit! I hate this!

                         PHIL
          It's all right. You just should have
          spun it when I told you to.
          Flustered, she pulls back out and tries again.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          rn! Quick!

                         CLARA
          Would you stop it? You're stressing me
          out!
          Angry, Clara whips the car back into the spot, NAILING
          the car behind them and setting off a loud CAR ALARM WITH

                         FLASHING LIGH`

                         Â¢
          Hearing the alarm, a LARGE MAN rushes out of a restaurant
          nearby, looking at them.

                         LARGE MAN
          Hey! You just hit my
          The Large Man stomps toward them.

                         PHIL
          Run!
          Phil and Clara get out of the car and run away on
          The Large Man marches over and inspects his bumpe
          yells after them.

                         L
          Assholes!

          EY INS LAT
          They catch their breath in the alley.
          OK. So we've got no car. They know
          where we live. So where can we-

                         (REALIZES SOMETHING)
          shit.

                         0

                         

                         

                         

                         

          44.
          Clara's eyes go wide as it hits her as well.

                         CLARA
          Ollie.
          Phil takes out his cellphone and quickly dials, listening
          as Ruth PICKS UP.

                         RUTH (PHONE)
          Hello?
          Suddenly, GUNSHOTS RING OUT over the phone.

                         PHIL
          Oh God! Ruth! Is everything OK?

                         RUTH (PHONE)
          No it's not, Phil!

                         PHIL
          What's wrong?

          RUTH'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
          Feet up, Ruth eats Fiddle Waddle as she watches an action-
          packed CHASE SCENE on TV.

                         Â¢

                         RUTH
          It's CSI night! Call after 11!
          Ruth hangs up the phone, shaking her head, and takes
          another mouthful of Fiddle Fiddle.

          ALLEY - CONTINUOUS
          Phil looks at the phone, incredulous.

                         CLARA
          What's wrong?

                         PHIL

                         (STUNNED)

                         CSI

                         CLARA
          What? Just call her again and tell her
          what's happened!
          Phil dials the number again. Ruth picks up.

                         PHIL
          Ruth, I need you to listen. We've

                         SITUATION HERE-

                         

                         

                         

                         

          45.

          INT. RUTH'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS


                         RUTH
          We sure do Phil! We sure do!
          Ruth slams the phone down and pulls out the phone cord so
          she won't be bothered again.

          EXT. ALLEY - MOMENTS LATER

          Clara tries on her phone, then hangs up, frustrated.

                         CLARA
          Great, Phil. Now she's not picking up at
          all!

                         PHIL
          You think this is my fault, don't you?
          T - ft

                         (SIGHS)
          No. I just don't know why you two can't
          get along is all.

                         PHIL
          You know, your Mom shows me no respect, 0
          Clara. And you just pretend like it
          isn't happening.

                         CLARA
          So you think it's j1y fault. Listen,
          Phil. Every single other boyfriend I
          ever dated got along with her just-

                         (REALIZING)
          Wait a minute! Holbrooke Peterson!

                         PHIL
          What?
          Clara starts looking through her purse for her phone.

                         CLARK
          Holbrooke Peterson does something hush
          hush with the FBI! I think he even lives
          down here.

                         PHIL
          Holbrooke Peterson? You mean the tongue
          guy?

                         CLARA
          What?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          46.

                         PHIL
          Holbrooke was your prom date who you said
          had the really long tongue, right?

                         CLARA

                         (GIGGLES' )
          Oh yeah.
          (catching herself, shrugs

                         CASUALLY)
          Uh, yeah... something like that...
          She finds her phone and dials.

                         PHIL
          Since when have you been in touch with
          Holbrooke Peterson?

                         CLARA

                         (SHRUGS)
          We found each other on FacebookÂ®

                         PHIL
          Facebook? I didn't know you were on
          Facebook!

                         CLARA
          It's a networking thing for work.
          Everyone's on Facebook.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         PHIL
          0 yeah? Who else are you "in touch"
          h on Facebook?

                         CLARA

                         O PHONE)
          Hello? Holbrooke? Thank God you're
          there. It's Clara Foster...

          INT. APARTMENT BUILDING - LATER THAT NIGHT

          HOLBROOKE PETERSON, a thoroughbred of a man in his mid-
          30's, opens the door to his candlelit apartment with a
          smile to find Phil and Clara.

                         HOLBROOKE
          Wow! Clara! You look exactly the same

                         CLARA
          So do you!
          He gives her a big, tight hug, lifting her a little.

                         HOLBROOKE
          You feel exactly the same too.
          Phil double-takes. Did he hear him right?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          47.

                         R1 U

                         CLARA
          This is my husband, Phil.

                         HOLBROOKE
          Ah! The man who actually landed Clara.
          Holbrooke gives Phil the up and down with a winning smile
          and holds out his hand.

                         HOLBROOKE (CONT'D)
          Philly Cheese Steak. Nice to meet you.

                         PHIL
          Um... yeah... I don't go by... it's 1 - usL
          Phil. Nice to meet you, too.

                         HOLBROOKE
          Well, c'mon in. If you don't mind, take
          off your shoes.

          CLA. A
          Oh.Sure.

                          HOLBROOKE
          Cutsdown on the cleaning. Which cuts
          downon the use of all those chemicals
          andplastics, blab blah blah. Reduces my

          CF.

                         PHIL

          CF?

                         HOLBROOKE
          Carbon footprint.

                         PHIL
          Oh. The environmental thing.

                         HOLBROOKE

                         (CHUCKLES)
          Yeah, the "environmental thing," Phil.
          As they walk into the apartment in their socks, they
          notice the whole place is filled with reclaimed and
          recycled furniture and LIT WITH CANDLES.

                         CLARA
          How beautiful. Or, the candles... Did we

                         ERRUPT SOMETHING-
          Oh, no. I jus-_. --'-D.> myself off the gr
          a few weeks ago.

                         PHI
          The grid?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          48.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         HOLBROOKE
          Power grid. I actually have a negative
          carbon footprint now. Making up for, you
          know, all you "Phil"-i-stines in the
          suburbs.
          Holbrooke chuckles. Phil's about to say something when a
          look from Clara reminds him to bite his lip. Holbrooke
          gestures to some cardboard furniture.

                         HOLBROOKE (CONT'D)
          So have a seat.
          Holbrooke starts to sit down himself, then makes a show
          of taking a LARGE GUN out of his shoulder holster and
          putting it on the table.

                         PHIL
          Whoa. You carry that around at home?

                         HOLBROOKE
          Yeah. I'm supposed to sleep with her
          under my pillow.

                         (SHRUGS)
          Wish I didn't have to, but I just see it
          as... I carry the weight so citizens like
          yourselves don't have to.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         CLARA
          It's so funny. I always knew you'd end
          up doing something in public service.

                         HOLBROOKE

                         (SHRUGS HUMBLY)
          I don't know. That's lust how I
          Phil looks to Clara - can you get a load of this guy, but
          Clara's focused on Holbrooke.

          HOLBROOKE (V.0.) (CONT'D)
          Yeah, unfortunately, Terrence Stockton is
          not a man you want to get on the wrong
          side of.

          INT. HOLBROOKE'S LIVING ROOM - LATER

          Phil watches as Holbrooke licks the salt allllll the wav
          around his Margarita glass with his extra long tongue.
          Clara listens intently, eating some jicama slices from a
          platter on the table in front of them.

                         HOLBROOKE
          He's like a Nicaraguan turtle - keeps his
          head deep in his shell unless he
          absolutely has to stick it out. Those
          photos must be really important to him.

                         (MORE)

                         

                         

                         

                         

          49.

          HOLBROOKE (COIN" D )

                         (NOTICING) 1Ï¿½1
          More jicama, Clara? And sure no
          Margari-La to calm your nerves?

                         CLARA
          No thanks, I'm
          Holbrooke picks up the plate and Margarita glass, then
          crosses to his INDOOR COMPOSTER, adding the extra liquid
          and scraps.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          What does Stockton do?

                         HOLBROOKE
          Officially, he runs a bunch of these
          exclusive private clubs downtown where
          his high powered friends go to let their
          hair down. Has one place called Le
          Passage, another called The Rainbow-

                         CLARA
          e Rainbow! Stockton asked how we
          there to set things up!

                         HOLBROOKE

                         (NODS)
          Interesting. I've had some of my guys
          looking into Stockton for years, but
          nothing ever sticks to him. He's very
          careful - ties up his loose ends and
          covers his tracks. But with this... he
          might have accidentally left himself
          open.

                         (BE
          The th need to do now is keep you
          two safe. I'm going to call the office,
          put you under some protection until we
          figure out the best game

                         CLARA
          Should we be worried about our s

                         HOLBROOKE
          (shakes his head)
          Wouldn't be Stockton's pattern to risk
          ing this any larger than it is. Where
          is he?

                         CLARA
          I s staying at my m

                         HOLBROOKE

                         (SMILES WARMLY)
          Aw, how is Ruth? Always thought the
          world of her.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         

                         

                         

                         

          50.

                         CLARA
          And she of you.
          As it comes out of her mouth, Clara realizes and guiltily
          looks over at Phil BRISTLING. Holbrooke goes to a pile
          of already used sheets of paper and picks one up along
          with a pen.

                         HOLBROOKE
          I'll just need your full names and your
          socials so I can get the paperwork
          started at the bureau. Not yours, Clara.
          Know that by heart.
          Both Phil and Clara are taken aback.

                         HOLBROOKE (CONT'D)

                         (CHUCKLES)
          Just kidding. But I'm sure Phil-a-buster
          knows 'em both, right?
          Phil looks on both sides of the paper Holbrooke hands
          him.

                         PHIL
          Uh... there's already writing all over
          this.

                         HOLBROOKE

                         (B

                         IG EYED)
          Does another tree really need to die for
          me to get your socials, Phil?
          Phil bites his tongue yet again, squeezing the writing
          into a side of the paper.

                         HOLBROOKE (CONT'D)
          So just one kid, guys? What's keeping
          you? Clocks ticking Clara - tickety tock
          tuck.

                         PHIL

                         (WRITING)
          Yeah, well, that's a topic for another-

                         HOLBROOKE
          It's just that by now, you and I woulda
          had a whole brood.

                         PHIL
          (under his breath)
          That's... charming.
          Phil scoots the paper back to Holbrooke, who squints and
          dramatically turns it sideways.

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         E

                         HOLBROOKE
          w! Paging Dr. Illegible,
           egible to Emergency!
           Holbrooke and Clara burst into laughter. Phil

                         STONEFACEDÂ®

           HOLBROOKE (CON T ' D )
          L.O.L,, right?
          (thinking he doesn't

                         UNDERSTAND)
          It's because you're writing's hard to
          read, Phil, and everyone knows how when
          doctors write things down-

                         PHIL
          No. Yeah. I get it.
          Holbrook. makes a big show of putting his gun back
          holster as he gets up.

                         HOLBROOKE
          We'll have you stay at the bureau for the
          night. Safer for you.

                         CLARA
          Thank you so much, Holbrooke.
          (sighs, relieved)
          I feel like we're in good hands for the E
          first time tonight.
          As Holbrooke goes into the other room to call, Clara lets
          out a sigh of relief then notices Phil's mood.

                         CLARE
          What's wrong?

                         PHIL
          I don't know. Maybe I should have had
          one of Holbrooke's eeegerag warn
          raaaarrrrghereeeeetas.

          !NT. CAR - LATER
           Clam::- olbrooke in the front seat and Phil
          crt-- - in t=-ï¿½ back, they pull up and park at the FBI
          bui Aing m

                         PHIL
          smells like french fries back here,

                         HOLBROOK'
          Car runs on cooking oil. I just go
          around to restaurants and recycle their
          old fry oil.

                         C

                         

                         

                         

                         

          52.

                         CLARA
          Phil's really had enough with this guy.
          Your goodness... where does it end?
          Clara shoots Phil a look he back, but Holbrooke
          doesn't get his sarcasm.

                         HOLBROOKE

                         (SHRUGS)
          How I roll. Now for some reason they
          wanted us to come in the back entrance.
          He makes a big show of putting his gun back in his
          shoulder strap before getting out of the car.

          INT. FBI WINDOW

          Through the window, we see Holbrooke, Phil, and Clara
          walking toward the back of the building.
          In the foreground, A SHADOWY GUY watches them, then
          whispers into his walkie.

                         SHADOWY GUY
          Positions.

          FBI BUILDING - MOMENTS LATER
          Holbrooke uses a KEYCARD on his keychain with a flourish
          to enter the rear of the building, then leads Phil and
          Clara through the doors. Suddenly he stops and Phil and
          Clara FREEZE behind them.
          At the other end of the hallway, an FBI UNIT in
          bulletproof gear trains their weapons on the three of
          them. AGENT #1 in the center, obviously the agent in
          charge, yells to them.

                         AGENT
          Continue slowly down the hallway.
          sudden movements. Are they armed,
          Peterson?

                         HOLBROOKE
          Uh,

                         PHIL
          What the hell's going o

                         HOLBROOKE
          I don't know.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          53.

                         E

                         PHIL
          Well, tell them to stand down.

                         HOLBROOKE
          Uh.. .

                         PHIL
          Tell your men to stand down, Holbrooke.

                         AGENT #1
          His men?
          The Agents look at each other and chuckle.

                         AGENT #2
          What do you want us to do, Holbrooke?
          Reformat our hard drives?

                         AGENT #3
          Our badass I.T. guy!
          The laughter builds.

                         CLARA
          I. I. guy?

                         HOLBROOKE
          OK... I'm not the "I.T. guy." I help out

                         E
          with computer questions out of kindness!
          But see if that happens anymore, Harold!

                         AGENT #1
          Alright, enough. Point is, Agent
          Peterson scored tonight. When I typed in
          those socials, an APB shot up with a
          whole laundry list on these guys.

                         PHIL
          What?

                         CLARA
          crooked cop did it! It's a lie!

                         AGENT #1
          It's your booking, Peterson. We're Just
          here to back you up.
          Holbrooke...
          Holbrooke looks nervously between the Agents and Phil and
          Clara. He turns to them, taking Clara's arm.

                         HOLBROOKE
          Listen guys. I'll just book you and then
          tomorrow we can straighten the whole-

                         

                         

                         

                         

          54.

                         E

                         CLARA
          (pulling arm away)
          What? Oh no you're not!
          Oooohs from the Agents.

                         AGENT #3
          You just gonna take that, Peterson?

                         HOLBROOKE

                         (PRESSURED)
          All right. Didn't want to have to-
          Holbrooke reaches into his holster to whip out his gun...
          .but BOBBLES it and it falls to the ground, right at
          Phil's feet. Looking down, Phil instinctively GRABS IT,
          holding the gun to Holbrooke's head.

                         PHIL
          All right! Nobody move or he gets it!
          Clara's STUNNED. The Agents look at each other, but
          don't seem overly concerned.

                         AGENT #1
          Holbrooke has a gun? Why does he even
          â¢ have a gun?

                         HOLBROOKE

                         (TO PHIL)
          Listen, man. I'm not that important.
          I'm really not. I'm not the IT guy but
          I'm just one step above him! No reason
          to do something rash, all right?

                         AGENT #3
          You think it's even loaded?

          A` -.
          I don't.

                         HOLBROOKE

                         (FREAKED)
          loaded, guys! It's loaded!

                         PHIL
          I'm not screwing around!

                         HOLBROOKE
          He's not screwing around! He's not
          screwing around!
          Pulling a terrified Holbrooke, Phil and Clara back toward
          the rear exit of the building. They try the door, but
          it's locked.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          55.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         PHIL
          Keycard.

                         HOLBROOKE
          What?

          A FEW FBI AGENTS
          He wants your keycard.

                         PHIL
          Thanks. He and I, the communication
          isn't great...
          Getting the keychain from Holbrooke, Phil uses the
          keycard then lets it fall to the floor as the door
          unlocks and they back outside.

          EXT. FBI BUILDING - CONT

          Phil and Clara back away, keeping Holbrooke between th
          and the agents. Through the door, Agents slowly creep
          down the hallway after them, guns trained.

                         HOLBROOKE
          Seriously, Phil. I'm a bad shield. I
          promise.

                         CLARA
          Wow, Phil!
          Phil feels a little pumped up with Clara's praise.

                         PHIL
          Just give me your car keys, Holbrooke.
          When we're about to drive off we'll let
          you go.

                         HOLBROOKE
          Uh, they were on the keychain.

                         PHIL
          What?
          HOLB'?n`_
          The key chain you dre-,~_d with the keycard
          inside. The keys were on that.
          And so the hero falls...

                         PHIL
          Shit.

                         CL AA
          we'll never outrun them.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          56.
          Searching around, Phil eyes the KEYCARD PANEL outside the
          entrance. He aims the gun and FIRES, MISSING BADLY.
          Both he and Holbrooke cover their ears.

                         HOLBROOKE

          AH!

                         PHIL
          YOW! Man is that loud!
          As the Agents run toward the door, Clara quickly grabs
          the gun from Phil and shoots, nailing the lock.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          (stunned, looks at her)
          How are you so good at that?
          The Agents try the door, but are LOCKED IN. Agent #1
          tells his men to stand back and tries shooting the glass,
          but it's BULLETPROOF. He gestures and all the Agents
          rush around to the front.

                         CLARA
          gotta get going! Quick!

                         PHIL
          Where?
          They both look around, unsure.

                         HOLBROOKE
          Across the bridge a few blocks down that
          street there's an entrance to the Green
          Line subway. Get on it and you can get
          anywhere in this city.
          Phil and Clara look at him, confused.

                         PHIL
          Aren't you supposed to be our hostage?

                         HOLBROOKE

                         (SIGHS)
          Whatever. I don't know. Sure. What's
          the difference? I'm never gonna get
          behind that desk now anyway.
          my gun! I dropped it in front of
          everybody!

                         PHIL
          It wasn't so much of a drop. it was more
          of a... bobble.

                         CLARA
          Yeah, a bobble's bad...

                         

                         

                         

                         

          57.

                         HOLBROOKE
          Listen, if you just leave me here I can
          tell them you ran the other way. It'll
          buy you time to get there. And maybe I
          can work on clearing all this up for you.
          Phil and Clara look at each other, then start to run
          away. Suddenly Phil stops, thinking.

                         CLARA
          What?

                         PHIL
          Let me have the gun.
          As Clara gives it to him, Phil quickly runs back and
          hands it to Holbrooke

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          Here. Tell them you got it back from us.
          Holbrooke takes back his aun, grateful.

                         HOLBROOKE
          Thanks, Phil.
          As Phil runs back, Clara takes in the nice gesture of
          husband.

          EXT RIDGE - A FEW MINUTES LATER
          A lit up raucous PARTY BOAT in a canal starts to pass
          under a roadway bridge up ahead as Phil and Clara, trying
          to stay in the shadows, walk quickly toward it. Phil
          glances back over their shoulders - the road is DESERTED.

                         PHIL
          it's just on the other side of that
          bridge. I think we're going to make it.
          He notices Clara looking at him.

                         PHIL (COND
          What?

                         CLARA
          Nothing. That was just nice of you, back
          there.

                         (BEAT)
          This is crazy, but you know what I'm,
          reminded of right now?

                         PHIL
          Bourne identity?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          58.

                         CLARA
          I'm talking about right now. When we
          used to walk home late at night after
          going downtown to the clubs. We couldn't
          ever find a cab, remember? We'd grab
          those "healthy" dogs and cheese fries at
          the Weiner's Circle and go to the Adler
          Planetarium to watch the sunrise.

                         PHIL
          Where I held your hand for the first
          time.

                         CLARA
          I can't believe we used to stay up all
          night like that.

                         PHIL
          It's because we could sleep 'til noon.

                         CLARA

                         (SMILES SLYLY)
          If I remember correctly, we weren't
          always "sleeping."
          Beat as they share the moment together, walking.

                         PHIL
          I just don't understand when we got so...
          I don't know...

                         CLARA
          Old.

                         PHIL
          No, I was thinking numb. When did we
          become one of those couples that we used
          to look at in restaurants back then and
          think were so sad?

                         CLARA
          We're not that bad, Phil. I just think we
          haven't been that honest with each other
          recently.
          Phil doesn't understa

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Not big things. Just little things
          keep adding up and putting this thing
          between us.

                         (BEAT)
          Like the fact I know you never want to
          talk about us having this other baby.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          59.

                         PHIL
          It's not that I don't want another kid,
          Clara. It's just... I used to be the
          whole pie with you. And now with Ollie
          and your work, I'm barely even a piece of
          the pie anymore. I'm, like, maybe a
          pecan on a piece of the pie! So part of
          me's not jumping at the chance of having
          the little pecan I have left of your
          attention going into some new baby's
          mouth!

                         CLARA
          But that's crazy, Phil. When you're home
          you're the one who seems like your hardly
          even there! It's all about your work.
          Believe me, if you-
          Clara suddenly notices a POLICE CAR, lights off, drive
          past them over the bridge.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Shit!

                         PHIL
          I think we're OK. Just play cool and
          keep walking.
          The patrol car continues across and down the street. 1ï¿½1
          Phil and Clara breathe a sigh of relief.
          Then suddenly, a few blocks down, BRAKE LIGHTS. The
          patrol car turns around and TURNS ON ITS LIGHTS, zooming
          back toward them.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          Now you can say shit.
          Phil looks around - they're in the middle of the bridge
          with no place to run. Then he notices the lit up PARTY
          BOAT coming out the other side of the bridge beneath
          them.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          e 's only a few feet.

                         CLARA
          What u high? No way.
          But looking main at the patrol car speeding toward them,
          Phil grabs Clara and dashes for the side of the bridge.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)

          AH!

                         1Ï¿½1

                         

                         

                         

                         

          60.
          As she's YANKED OVER THE SIDE, Clara CLUTCHES onto the
          railing. With Phil hanging onto her other arm, they
          DANGLE above the water and the boat.

                         CLARA (CONT'D
          Ahhh! Are you CRAZY!?!

                         PHIL
          Let go, Clara!

                         CLARA
          A GROUP of DRUNKEN PARTIERS on the boat, spotting them,
          cheer below. Some even take FLASH PICTURES. Phil looks
          down - if they don't let go soon they're literally going
          to miss the boat.

                         PHIL
          go or I'm going to tickle you!

                         CLARA

                         (DEAD SERIOUS)
          No you're not, Phil. We have a rule!
          tickling. I'm not-
          He reaches up and TICKLES Clara under her arm. She
          giggles.

                         E

                         CLARA (CONT'D)

                         (LAUGHING)
          Ah! Stop it, Phil! Ah! It's not funny!
          I mean- Stop it! Ah!
          Clara can't hold on any longer...

          EXT. BOAT

          They land - THUMP! - onto the top deck of the boat, both
          groaning as they roll back and forth while the Drunken
          Partiers CHEER and FLASH PHOTOS.

                         PHIL
          Ow! I think I broke my butt.

                         CLARA
          OW! OW! Dammit, Phil! What's our rule
          about tickling?

                         PHIL
          I'm sorry! I didn't do it for pleasure!
          What is our rule?

                         0

                         

                         

                         

                         

          61.

                         PHIL

                         (BLANDLY RECITES)
          "It's only funny if it's funny for the
          both of us."

                         CLARA
          Right! And guess what? It wasn't funny
          for me, Phil!
          Clara gets up and storms off, clutching her arm. Walking
          down the side of the boat, she passes a MAN down on one
          knee in front of an EXCITED WOMAN, who nods, accepting
          his proposal.

                          CLARA (CONT'D)

                          (MARCHING PAST)
          B i g mistake!
          They look at her, stunned.

          A OTHER PART OF THE BOAT - M0_,'_= -1; LATER
          Phil limps along, finally finding Clara alone and calmed
          down, looking out over the rear of the boat. He comes
          next to her. Beat.

                         PHIL
          T ' s your elbow?

                         CL RA

                         (SIGHS)
          's OK, How`s your butt?

                         PHIL
          Well, for jumping off a bridge onto a
          moving boat, not so bad.

                         (SHAKES HEAD)
          I can't even fucking believe this is
          happening to us.

                         CLARA
          You know, we're kind of running ou
          ons.

                         PHIL
          Maybe we could just hide or something
          until this all blows over.

                         CLARA
          What makes you think it ever wil

                         PHIL
          iaybe we should just turn ourselves

                         1Ï¿½1

                         

                         

                         

                         

          62.

                         CLARA

                         (SIGHS)
          Imagine what it's going to be like for
          Ollie when everyone hears about this
          tomorrow. I bet our pictures are going
          to be all over the papers.
          Phil nods, gazing out. Then suddenly an idea comes to
          him.

                         PHIL
          Wait. What if we found the pictures?

                         CLARA
          What do you mean?

                         PHIL
          These pictures that everyone's after.
          we could get them we'd have some kind o
          bargaining chip to get out of this.

                         CLARA
          But then we'd have to find the Gales.
          don't know anything about them.

                         PHIL

                         (THINKS)
          Except... the Rainbow.

                         CLARA

                         (CATCHING ON)
          The pictures have something to do with
          that place!

                         PHIL
          Yeah, but even so, Holbrooke said these
          clubs are so secret you have to know
          where they are and how to get in-
          Clara rummages through her purse and grabs her phone,
          dialing, then notices Phil looking out, shaking his head.

                         CLARA
          What?

                         PHIL
          You're not listening to me again!

                         CLARA
          "You have to know where they are and h
          to get in-"

                         PHIL
          That's great. Clara wanna cracker?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          63.

                         C LARA
          I'm calling because of what you said,
          Phil. I know who can help us.
          Clara dials the number.

                         CLARA_ (CONT'D)
          Hey Jane, it's Clara.

                         (LISTENS)
          Where am I?
          (beat, looks around)
          I'm... I'm on a party cruise around
          Chicago. Oh yeah. It is turning into
          quite a night. Listen, we need to go to
          this club called the Rainbow later. Do
          you know how we can get in?
          Clara looks at Phil, excited, and nods as she plugs her
          ear and listens. Phil watches her until he notices the
          boat IS TURNING. He looks around the side.
          A slew of POLICE CARS on the shore. He taps Clara.

                         PHIL
          ara...
          Clara turns and looks.

                         CLARA
          Oh shoot. You know what Jane? I've
          actually gotta jump off right now.

          INT. TOUR BOAT - LATER

          POLICE swarm all over the tour boat, checking every
          compartment. A DRUNKEN PARTIER shows Lieutenant Manning
          SNAPSHOTS of Phil and Clara landing, groaning, and
          arguing on the back of his digital camera. A POLICEMAN
          comes up to Manning and shakes his head.

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING
          Check again.
          Manning pockets the camera and starts to walk away.

                         PARTIER
          Hey! That's mine, man!

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING
          Evidence.
          The Partier mumbles "Asshole" as he stumbles
          Manning si i.s and looks out over the wa

                         

                         

                         

                         

          64.

                         E

          EXT. STREET - LATER

          It's WINDY and COLD as Phil and Clara, soaked, squeak and
          slosh down the street. Clara, missing one heel, dumps
          water out of her purse as she checks her cellphone.

                         CLARA
          Mine's totally shot too.

                         PHIL
          You got the info from her though, right?

                         CLARA
          Yeah, but we can't get in looking like
          this, Phil.

                         PHIL
          I don't think we have a choice. Not a
          big shopping hour.
          They walk past the 24 CHICAGO FITNESS CENTER, lights
          blazing. Windows show machines filled with young
          HARDBODIES working out.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          Now if we wanted to do a little cardio,
          on the other hand. Who knew that many
          people worked out at 1 in the morning?
          Clara thinks a moment, then stops in her tracks and looks
          back up at the building.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          You wanna do a little cardio?
          Clara smirks at him, then Phil, thinking, gets it. He
          shakes his head.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          OK, now that's scary. You know you're
          starting to think like a real criminal?
          You know that, don't you?
          Clara waggles her eyebrows. We hear Devo's "Secret Agent
          Man" over a TrC _ GE .

          INT. 24 HOUR FITNESS CENTER - MONTAGE

          - Phil and Clara walk up to the front counter, where the
          GYM GREETER boredly watches TV. They say something and
          the Greeter waves them through without looking up. As
          they hurry on, the Greeter's TV goes to a PROMO TEASER
          for the local late night news: a SNAPSHOT of Phil and
          Clara from the boat with a caption that reads: BONNIE AND

          CLOD?!?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          65.

                         1Ï¿½1
          - In the MEN'S LOCKER ROOM, Phil pulls at the COMBINATION
          LOCKS, searching for an open locker. Unable to find one,
          he picks up a bench to throw it at them when TWO JOCKS in
          workout clothes walk in and look at him strangely as he
          holds the bench. Phil moves the bench back and forth,
          pretending it's part of his EXERCISE ROUTINE.
          - In the WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOM, Clara, wrapped in a towel,
          blows out her hair at the mirror. An ATTRACTIVE THIN
          WOMAN walks behind her toward the showers and they smile
          at each other in the mirror. As the THIN WOMAN
          disappears behind the shower glass, Clara makes a MAD
          DASH for the lockers.
          - Back in the MEN'S LOCKER ROOM, Phil lingers as a MAN IN
          A DARK SUIT undresses, getting ready to work out. As the
          man is about to lock his locker, Phil rushes up to him,
          excitedly telling him something and pointing outside.
          The man, confused, exits, and Phil MOVES IN, quickly
          undressing.
          - The Attractive Thin Woman comes back to her locker and
          opens it. Her face drops. Inside hang CL A"S DRIPPING

          CLOTHES.
          - OUTSIDE THE GYM, Phil, looking slick in a colored shirt
          and black suit, walks quickly around the corner, then
          stops, stunned. Clara, waiting for him with her hair
          blown out and in a tight fitting RED FLAPPER DRESS with â¢
          RED HEELS, looks AMAZING. From her expression, she feels
          the same about Phil.

          EXT. ALLEY - LATER

          Looking both ways, Phil and Clara walk nervously down a
          dark, derelict alley.

                         PHIL
          Down here?

                         JANE
          It's what she said.

                         PHIL
          And if you die, does Jane get your
          commissic-l on the open house?
          Up ahead, a TWO S:_=:Y LOOKING CHARACTERS huddle near a
          bunch of GARBAGE CANS watching them, a SMALL FIRE nearby.
          Nervously, Clara approaches.

                         CLARA
          Excuse me?
          Men shoot her a fierce look.

                         E

                         

                         

                         

                         

          66.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Um... do you know which is the way back
          to Kansas?
          They eye her, then inspect Phil up and down. One of them
          LUNGES, and Phil jumps back...
          but he's moving aside some trash cans, revealing a
          RAINBOW COLORED STAIRWAY going down.

                         SHADY GUY #1
          Welcome to the Rainbow.

          INT. THE RAINBOW - LATER

          Reaching the bottom of the stairway, Phil and Clara,
          amazed, take in THE RAINBOW.
          It's a CAVERNOUS ABANDONED SUBWAY STATION that's been
          converted into a GLAMOROUS CLUB. The place is PACKED
          with an elite looking CROWD. Everything in the room -
          the carpet, the tapestries, the clothes of the waitstaff -
          is EMERALD GREEN.
          Phil and Clara nod at each other then separate,
          disappearing into the mix.

          INT. ANOTHER PART OF THE RAINBOW - SAME

          Phil looks around, amazed as he wanders between BLACKJACK
          and BACCARAT tables, where well-to-do OLDER guests gamble
          large sums of money, fast looking WOMEN cheering them on.

          VOICE (O.S.)
          If you wanner be pissed at anyone about
          it, be pissed at Stockton...
          Hearing the name, Phil spots a BALDING MAN talking to 2
          other MEN at one of the tables. He lingers closer.

                         BALDING MAN
          You know, rumor is he's behind the whole
          mess. Raking it in on both ends.
          What do you mean?

                         BALDING MAN
          Hush hush shell companies he owns. One
          of them hires all the construction
          inspectors. Another he's got rents all
          the construction equipment. The more one
          slows things down with violations,
          more the other takes to the bank.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          67.
          The Balding Man leans in and speaks more quietly, causing
          Phil to lean in even more.

          BALDING MAN (CONT'D)
          My guess is he's trying to screw up Mayor
          Diggs' reelection. Imagine what someone
          like him could do if he got someone less
          "squeaky clean" in the Mansion.
          The Balding Man suddenly notices Phil listening. Phil
          pastes on an excited face.

                         PHIL
          you! Gale, right?

                         BALDING MAN
          What?

                         PHIL
          Sorry. From the side... confused you
          with somebody else.
          Phil quickly moves on.

          INT. ANOTHER PART OF THE RAINBOW -

          Clara talks to a BUSY BARTENDER at the bar as he
          scrambles to fill drink orders.

          BA --Y_-_.
          really get s,-.y names.

                         CLARA
          Thanks any-way.
          With a sigh, Clara starts away from the bar, when she

          FREEZES.
          ough the crowd, FRANK and HARRY walk right toward her -
          but they haven't seen her yet. Clara spots the KITCHEN
          DOORS nearby and rushes through.
          INT. KITCHEN - C vUOUS
          Clara peeks out through the double door windows. Frank
          and Harry continue through the crowd, unaware.

          VOICE (O.S.)
          Watch it!
          Clara quickly hugs a large bulletin board covered with
          pictures and time schedules as a WAITER carries a large
          tray of food past her.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          68.
          As she moves off the wall, some papers drop. Clara pins
          them back on, when something else on the bulletin board
          catches her eye...
          .Among all the snapshots of staff scattered on the
          bulletin board is a picture of a backyard party with a
          whole group of laughing young people, and the middle of
          the picture, smiling at the camera...
          . is THE NERVOUS WOMAN FROM THE SIGNATURE ROOM

          BATHROOM.
          Clara pulls the picture off the wall. She catches a
          WAITRESS coming back through the double doors.

                         CLARA
          Excuse me. Does she work here?

                         WAITRESS
          Dora? I guess she still does. Hasn't
          been showing up lately, though.

                         CLARA
          Do you know where I can find her?

                         WAITRESS
          You could try back tomorrow, see if she-

                         C
          I need to find her tonight.

                         WAITRESS
          Did you try Ray's place?

                         CLARA
          Ray?

                         WAITRESS
          That sleazebag boyfriend of hers. He's
          got that place a few blocks from here
          where he used to throw those after work
          parties.

                         CLARA
          Do you remember where it is?

          ANOTHER PART OF THE RAINBOW
          Phil scans the crowds, back and forth.

          MALE VOICE (O.S.)
          Phil!
          Hearing his name, Phil nervously turns. MR. RIVERS and
          GEORGE stand together in a corner.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          69.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         PHIL

                         (TO HIMSELF)
          hit.

          MR. RIVERS
          This is a surprise! What are you doing
          down here?

                         PHIL
          Uh... well, same thing as you guys, I
          would guess. Working those "extra
          hours," right?

          CLARA (O.S.)
          Phil!
          Clara, looking amazing in her red flapper dress, weeds
          through the crowd. Mr. Rivers and George take her in,
          obviously impressed.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Phil, we gotta go. I found out where-

                         PHIL

                         ERRUPTING)
          Clara, you remember Mr. Rivers?
          Clara suddenly notices Phil's boss.
          Oh. Oh. Yeah.

                         GEORGE
          And I'm George.

                         CLARK
          Sorry, but I've got to steal him. We've
          gotta be somewhere else right now.

          MR. RIVERS
          At 2 in the morning? Where are you guys
          headed?

                         PHIL

                         (BEAT)
          I'm sorry, Mr. Rivers. We really can
          talk about it.
          Phil and Clara move off quickly through the crowd as Mr.
          Rivers watches the hand_ï¿½__e, dressed up couple,
          intrigued.

          MR. RIVERS
          Phil Foster with places to go he can
          talk about at 2 in the morning.

                         (THOUGHTFUL )

                         (MORE)

                         

                         

                         

                         

          70.

          MR. RIVERS (CONT'D)
          You know what makes kangaroos so damn
          dangerous, George? They look so sweet
          and tame, so you forget they're wild
          animals. Lethal when they want to be.
          George, not fully understanding, chuckles and holds out
          his hand for another handshake, but Mr. Rivers, still
          watching Phil, LEAVES HIM HANGING.

          CLOSEUP ON A TV MONITOR
          A TV MONITOR IMAGE of Phil and Clara making their way
          through the crowd to the exit.
          In the dark room, Frank and Harry look expectantly to the
          well dressed man in a dark suit, who absently twirls with
          two metal balls in his hand.

          MR. STOCKTON
          See where they take you.

          EXT. RUN DOWN ROW HOUSE - A LITTLE LATER

          Phil and Clara knock on the door of a the deserted
          looking row house. No answer. Clara tries the door...

                         PHIL
          That never really-
          OPENS. She shoots Phil a look.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          OK. Never mind.
          Phil and Clara inch insi

          RUN DOWN HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
          As they start down the dark hallway to the living room,
          Phil hunches over, hugging the wall.

                         CLARA
          are you bent over like that?

                         PI
          sneaking.

          CLA?.A
          Rut why don't you just walk normally and
          quietly?

                         PHI
          This is the wav I sneak. You sneak in
          your way and I'll sneak in mine, OK?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          71.

                         CL

                         (SHRUGS)
          OK. Fine. I was just asking.
          Clara walks quietly behind crouching Phil. Reaching the
          living room, they spot TWO PACKED SUITCASES on the couch.
          Suddenly, the DOOR SLAMS behind them and RAY holds a gun
          to Phil's head, DORA nervously next to him.

                         RAY
          Talk! Who are you?

                         PHIL
          You know, that's like the 5th gun I've
          had to my head tonight! Just lower that
          thing and cool it, OK?
          Off guard from Phil's reaction, Ray, confused, does.

                         DORA
          She was in the bathroom at the
          restaurant!

                         RAY
          Who are you?

                         PHIL
          Who are we? Good question! Well,
          everybody thinks we're "the Gales"
          because we were lucky enough to take your
          reservation tonight!

                         RAY

                         (CONFUSED)
          What? Why would you take our
          reservation?
          Phil shoots Clara a look.

                         CLARE
          Don't.

                         RAY
          Both of you. Stand ov there in the
          corner. Dammit Dora, ere's your
          goddamn brother? He was E,.--,-Dc.-zed to b
          here an hour ago!
          I don't know, Ra_, He's not answering
          his phone.

                         RAY
          Yeah, well, if these guys found u
          long do you think it's gonna take
          other guys? We're dead! DEAD!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          72.

                         E

                         CLARA
          Excuse me.
          In the corner, Clara raises her hand. Ray eyes her
          strangely.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Sorry. I have to pee.

                         RAY

                         (FLUSTERED)
          You have to nee?
          Clara nods. Phil shrugs.

                         PHIL
          That's my wife.
          Flustered, Ray waves Dora to take Clara.

          INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

          Dora talks to Clara as she washes her face in the sink.

                         DORA
          You must just think I'm awful.

                         CLARA
          I don't think anything about you. I just
          want this to be over.

                         DORA
          Ray saw Mr. Stockton making all this
          money blackmailing people at the club.
          When he found out who was interested in
          me... he said it would be so easy. We'd
          never have to work again.

          RAY (O.S.)

          HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO PEE, GUYS?!?

                         DORA
          We're coming!

          INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME

          Ray peeks nervously out of the window, searching the
          street.

                         PHIL
          Listen, it looks like things didn't turn
          out the way you planned, but I think all
          Stockton wants is his pictures back. As
          soon as he gets them I bet-

                         

                         

                         

                         

          73.

                         RAY E
          Stockton's pictures? You.think they're
          Stockton's pictures?

                         (SMIRKS)
          You really have no idea what you've
          gotten into, do you?
          BOOM! The window SHATTERS and Ray and Phil hit the deck.
          As Ray starts blindly firing back, Phil crawls on his
          knees and elbows across the floor toward the bathroom.

          CLARA (O.S.)

          PHIL?!?!

                         PHIL
          I'm OK! I'm OK!
          Ray spots Phil crawling away and gets up, turning to him.

                         RAY
          Hey! Get-
          Suddenly, Ray is SHOT IN THE ARM through the window. He
          drops to the ground in pain, yelling and clutching his
          arm.

                         RAY (CONT'D)
          Ahh!

                         Â¢
          Phil crabs along even faster.

          INT. BATHROOM

          Clara rushes to the bathroom door, pulling Phil inside
          and locking it.
          As Clara focuses on Phil, Dora thinks fast, taking an
          ELOPE out of her purse and putting it into Clara's
          bout them seeing.

                         CLARA
          Oh God! Are you hit?

                         PHIL
          No... just... a little ... winded...
          that... crawling's... tough... on the
          core...

          INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME

          As Harry kicks the gun away from Ray, moaning on the
          floor, Frank comes to the bathroom door. He lightly raps
          on it, then speaks softly.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          74.

                         LJ

                         FRANK
          How about you guys let me in before
          someone gets really hurt?

          INT. BATHROOM

          Dora quickly opens the window and gestures for Phil and
          Clara to climb through. Just as they squeeze outside...
          BAM! The door handle's BLOWN OFF and Frank kicks the
          door in. He grabs Dora, rushing toward the window, but
          Phil and Clara are GONE.

                         FRANK
          Dammit!
          Frank eyes Dora, then SHOOTS HER IN THE FOOT, sending
          screaming to the ground in pain.

                         FRANK(CONT'D)
          You stay put.
          He hurries back through the house.

          FRONT OF RUN DOWN HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
          Phil and Clara sprint to the street as a BUICK pulls up
          in front and a confused looking CHUBBY GUY steps

                         CHUBBY GUY
          Hey? Which is 357 Maple Street?

                         PHIL
          You're Dora's brother?

                         CHUBBY GUY
          Who are you?

                         PHIL
          You're late!

                         CHUBBY GUY
          OK sorry! The roads are all screwed
          with all this construction-
          BOOM! They wince as a SHOT hits the rearview mirror of
          the car. All three spin to see Frank aiming his gun and
          marching toward them, Harry right behind him.

          CHUBBY GUY (CONT'D)
          Hey!
          Phil quickly pushes Dora's brother aside as he and Clara
          hop into the Buick and PEEL OUT.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          75.
          Frank and Harry SPRINT for their Towncar down the block.

          INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS

          Phil screeches the car around the corner.

                         CLARA
          Phil! Careful!
          Phil WHIPS the car around another bend.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Please, Phil! It's not going to do any
          good if you-

                         PHIL
          (taking another sharp turn)
          Clara! Please! Just leave the driving
          to me, OK?!? I know what I'm-
          SMASH! - they HIT something head-on, SHATTERING the
          windshield.
           Shaking glass off himself, Phil peers forward. They're
          face to face - nose to nose - with another broken
          windshield. In the driver's seat of a SOUPED UP HONDA
          h fiber-optic colored lights, a YOUNG BLACK DUDE â¢
          stares at them in shock.

                         BLACK DUDE
          No no no. Tell me you did not just do
          that.

                         PHIL
          Shit!
          The Black Dude gets out of his car to inspect, head in
          hands.

                         BLACK DUDE
          Oh, man! You did not just do that!
          Whew, you gonna be payin' for this!

                         PHIL
          owe you one.
          Phil throws the car into reverse, but his tires just
          screech smoke, the wheels spinning in place.
          Looking out his window toward the front, Phil sees that

          THE SMASHED FRONT GRILL OF THEIR CAR HAS INTERLOCKED WITH

          ASHED FRONT GRILL OF THE BLACK DUDE'S HONDA. _-M
          The Black Dude comes toward him.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          76,

                         BLACK DUDE
          Oh no no no. You're gonna get outta this
          car and hand me over a license and some
          insurance. We gonna do this right. Man,
          I think I got whiplash and shit.
          A SCREECH. Phil looks back to see FRANK AND HARRY'S
          TOTnNCAR coming around the corner.

                         PHIL
          Shit.
          Thinking fast, Phil jumps out of his car and hops into
          the Black Dude's souped up Honda.

                         BLACK DUDE
          Hey! HEY! What do you think you're
          doing?
          The Black Dude chases after him, trying the driver's
          door, but Phil's LOCKED it. Phil yells to Clara.

                         PHIL

          PUT IT IN REVERSE AND GUN IT, CLARA!

                         CLARA
          What? That's insane!

                         E
          Frank and Harry's car SPEEDS TOWARDS THEM. It will smash
          into them in seconds...

                         PHIL

          I KNOW IT IS! BUT DO IT!
          Freaked, Clara hops to the driver's seat and switches to
          reverse, and guns it. At the same moment, Phil steps on
          the gas.
          The Black Dude, hanging onto the driver's door, SCREAMS
          as he's THROWN ONTO THE HOOD. The conjoined cars SHIMMY
          SHAMMY BACKWARD, just in time to dodge the Towncar. The
          Black Dude scrambles for his life through the windshield
          into the passenger's seat next to Phil.

                         BLACK DUDE

          JESUS CHRIST! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH

          YOU?!!

                         PHIL

          NOW PUT IT IN DRIVE!

                         CLARA
          Huh?

                         BLACK DUDE

          JESUS! JESUS!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          77.

                         PH IL

          PUT IT IN DRIVE NOW!

                         CLARA
          Phil, this is-

                         BLACK DUDE

          JESUS JESUS!

                         PHIL

          DO IT!
          (to Black Dude)

          AND YOU! CUT THE JESUS!
          Mumbling angrily, Clara puts her car in drive and steps
          on it. Their cars lurch then burn asphalt as the wheels
          smoke and speed up in the OTHER DIRECTION. They race
          past Frank again, who angrily whips the Towncar around in
          pursuit.
          Looking over his shoulder, Phil tries to steer their
          conjoined cars down the middle of the street, but he and
          Clara are out of sync and their attached cars veer :ildly
          back and forth. They hit the curb at an angle and -JcK
          DOWN a whole row of mail boxes until Phil spins h--'-s v;:-reel,
          getting them back into the street.

                         BLACK DUDE
          Just let me out, OK? You can have it! 1ï¿½1
          You can have it!

                         PHIL

                         (IGNORING HIM)

          DAMMIT! TRY TO KEEP IT STRAIGHT CLARA!

                         CLARA

          STOP YELLING AT ME!

                         PHIL
          I'm not yelling! I'm just talking in an
          very animated voice!
          Looking back over his shoulder again, Phil sees they're
          approaching the lar
          ge intersection with Michigan Avenue.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          OK, now when I say so, spin your wheel!

                         (BEAT)

          NOW!
          On his command, Clara spins her wheel sharply to t1-
          right., but it's the wrong way and their cars JACK
          across the road. An ONCOMING SUV honks desperately.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          Ahhhh! Other way! Other way!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          78.
          Flustered, Clara WHIPS her wheel in the other direction,
          and their two cars tilt up on four wheels (out of eight),
          barely screeching past.
          Landing again and taking in a deep breath, Phil shoots
          her a pissed off look.

                         CLARA
          What? You just said spin the wheel,
          Phil! You didn't say which way.

                         PHIL
          Yes I did!

                         CLARA
          No you didn't!

                         BLACK DUDE
          She's right! You di

                         CLARA

                         (VINDICATED)
          God! Thank you! Can we take him home?
          I need him!
          Both Phil and the Black Dude sees that the Towncar's
          turned onto Michigan Avenue and is still right behind
          E them.

                          BLACK DUD
           Aw man!

                         PHIL

                         (TO CLARA)
          I say our best chance is to reverse
          again, then use both engines to floor
          as fast as we can all the way down
          Michigan.

                         CLARA
          Why stay on Michigan?

                         PHIL
          Why stay on Michigan? Because it's a
          wider street.

                         LARA
          It's also a busier street! I think it
          would be better to try to branch off.

                         PHIL

                         (SIGHS)
          Why do you have a problem with every
          route I take?
          Flustered, Phil turns to the Black Dude next to him to
          commiserate, unaware that his STEERING WHEEL DRIFTS.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          79.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          She does this wherever we go! Every
          time!
          Phil doesn't notice the LIGHTS GROWING BRIGHTER behind
          him..

                         CLARA

          PHIL!
          LOUD HONNNNNNNKKKKKK. Phil and the Black Dude look over
          their shoulders to see they're heading straight for a

          DELIVERY TRUCK.

          PHIL, CLARA AND BLACK DUDE

          AHHHH!
          Phil SPINS the wheel sharply and they go SIDEWAYS,
          jumping the curb and soaring into MILLENNIUM PARK.
          In their car following them, Frank and Harry's -mouths
          drop.

          EXT. MCCORMICK ICE RINK

          The conjoined cars sail across the
          grass and SMASH
          THROUGH a barrier, landing on the MCCORMICK ICE RINK.
          Their cars PINWHEEL OUT OF CONTROL across the ice. Phil,
          Clara, and the Black Dude are all WIDE EYED as the world
          is a SPINNING BLUR around them.
          Finally, they hit the other side. Getting his bearings,
          Phil sees the Towncar has entered the park after them.
          He searches where to go next, then spots something.

                         PHIL
          Clara! Reverse it, keep it straight
          put your foot to the floor. Give it
          everything!
          Clara reverses and Phil puts the car in drive and floors
          it. The car goes faster... faster...

                         BLACK
          Oooh. I really woulc_n.'t be doing that.

                         CLARA
          Doing what? What are you doing?!?
          Clara glances over her shoulder. Their heading strai
          toward a CONCRETE STAIRWAY.

          CL. (CONT'D)
          Oh God.

                         0

                         

                         

                         

                         

          80.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         PHIL
          Just trust me!
          The conjoined cars HIT the steps and their wheels SMOKE
          as the TWO ENGINES POWER TOGETHER ALL THE WAY UP THE

          STAIRWAY!
          The Towncar tries the follow them, but its single engine
          doesn't have enough power. Swearing under his breath,
          Frank reverses back down the steps.

          EXT. CLOUD GATE

          Phil and the Black Guy both look back over their
          shoulders as they speed by Anish Kapoor's large metallic
          CLOUD GATE. No sign of the Towncar. The Black Guy holds
          up his hand for Phil.

                         BLACK DUDE
          Ha HA! That last move was wicked, man.
          Wicked.
          They try to give each other a fancy handshake, but Phil,
          the WHITEST MAN EVER, muddles it up.

                         PHIL
          â¢ Sorry.

                         BLACK DUDE
          s cool.

                         CLARA

                         (SPOTTING SOMETHING)
          They're back.
          They peek again over their shoulders. The Towncar's
          driven around and is now BACK ON THEIR TAILS.

                         BLACK DUDE
          Jesus! What the hell are you guys in
          trouble for?

                         'D R

                         (SIGHS)
          f i ght... you name it.

          EXT. GREAT LAWN

          Phil and Clara's conjoined cars barrel across the gr ss
          of the Great Lawn in Millennium park, then SPIN onto
          Columbus Drive, the Towncar giving chase.

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         81

          EXT. COLUMBUS DRIVE

          Phil peeks back over his shoulder then sighs, looking at
          Clara.

                         PHIL
          Can we just try to work together at this?

                         CLARA

                         PHIL-

                         PHIL
          I'm not blaming you. Please?
          Clara nods.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          Now whatever direction I give you, take
          your normal version of it and tone it
          down like 85 percent, OK?

                         CLARA
          35 percent. Fine.

                          PHIL
          OK. Small left. Now!

                          E
          Clara breathes deeply and turns her wheel slightly lefts
          They ZOOM around the corner.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)

                         (LOOKING BACK)
          Yes! That was awesome! Perfect, Clara!
          Now give me a medium right. Do it!
          She does and they veer sharply and perfectly onto another
          street.

                         CLAA
          Yes!

                         BLACK DUDE
          Now we're cooking with fire!
          Now tiny le

          CL AP.A

                         (HAVING FUN)
          You act it!
          They make the slightest turn.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         

                         

                         

                         

          82.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         PHIL
          Yes!
          (spotting something ahead)
          No.

                         BLACK DUDE
          Oh no.

                         CLARA
          What?
          Clara turns around to look. LIGHTS FLASH as a BARRIER
          comes down across the road - A DRAWBRIDGE ahead is slowly
          rising.
          Phil looks behind - the Towncar's got them closed in.
          The Black Dude peeks back as well, then turns to Phil.

                         BLACK DUDE
          say we can pop you guys up and over.

                         PHIL

                         H

                         CLARA
          Excuse me? What are you talking about,
          "pop you guys up and over?"

                         E

                         BLACK DUDE
          You climb over, then we both reverse it
          and leadfoot the motherfuckers. Send you
          flying over the top.

                         CLARA
          What?
          Sucking in a breath, Phil hands control of the car back
          to the Black Dude. As the conjoined cars zoom toward the
          drawbridge, Phil CRAWLS ON THE ATTACHED HOODS FROM ONE
          WINDSHIELD TO THE OTHER, sitting next to Clara.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Phil, don't even think of it.

                         PHIL
          can do it. Clara.

                         CLARA
          No, Phil. We can't! It's suicide!

                         BLACK DUDE
          Here we go now... One... two... THREE!

                         CLARA

          NO!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          83.
          But Phil reaches over and switches the gear to reverse,
          stepping on Clara's foot to GUN IT.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)

          AHHHH!
          The two cars SMOKE as their wheels spin in opposite
          directions, then DISLODGE. Phil and Clara's car flies
          reverse UP ONE SIDE OF THE DIAGONAL DRAWBRIDGE...
          .and LANDS SPINNING IN A FLURRY OF SPARKS OVER ON THE
          OTHER SIDE, causing AIR BAGS to deploy all around Phil
          and Clara.
          The Black Dude spins his steering wheel, jack-knifing his
          Honda across the road, and PUTS ON HIS SEAT BELT. Frank
          and Harry's eyes go wide as Frank jams on his brakes, but
          the Towncar CRASHES right into the Honda.
          ugh his broken window, the Black Dude grins at Frank
          and Harry.

                         BLACK DUDE
          Hope you all got insurance.
          Hitting a button, he starts a FIBER-OPTIC LIGHT SHOW on
          his Honda.

                         U

          INT. PHIL AND CL ARA' S CAR - CONTINUOUS

          As their car comes to a SMOKING, SPINNING STOP in the
          middle of the deserted road, Phil sandwiched in air bags,
          catches his breath.

                         PHIL

                         (INVIGORATED)
          We did it! We did it!
          A DOOR SLAM. Phil moves an air bag aside to see Clara
          MARCHING AWAY down the street.

          EXT. OTHER SIDE OF THE BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS

          Phil rushes after Clara, trying to catch up.
          Where are you going?

                         CLARA
          I want to make sure that at least one
          our son's parents survives tonight!

                         PHIL
          What?

                         0

                         

                         

                         

                         

          84.

                         CLARA
          You almost just got us killed!

                         PHIL
          I see. I almost got us killed. Forget
          about the people chasing and shooting at
          us all night long because of the
          reservation you stole.

                         CLARA
          There's a difference between fleeing from
          people shooting at you and knowingly
          driving a car in reverse over an open
          drawbridge!

                         PHIL
          Unbelievable! You know, all you complain
          about is that I don't take risks anymore.
          Then the second I do, you get mad at me
          for doing it! I can't win with you!

                         CLARA
          Poor Phil! You have i so bad, don't
          you!

                         PHIL
          Oh, you have no idea! Every single day
          from the moment we wake up you're bossy,
          â¢ disapproving, inconsiderate-

                         CLARA
          I'm inconsiderate? I'M INCONSIDERATE?!?
          Have you ever seen our bathroom in the
          morning after Tsunami Phil's blown
          through? The floor! The sink! You use
          my toothbrush.

                         PHIL
          What's the difference? Afraid you're
          gonna get my cooties?

                         CLARA
          I want my own toothbrush, Phil! Sue me!
          And how many years have I asked you to do
          a simple thing like put the toilet paper
          in right?

                         PHIL
          Listen to yourself! You have problems
          with how I pqt in the toilet paper!

                         C
          Because under makes no sense, Phil!
          Under makes no sense! When it's under it
          doesn't pull off right! It just keeps
          spinning and spinning and doesn't cascade
          properly!

                         (MORE)

                         

                         

                         

                         

          85.

                         CLARA (CONTVD)
          After ten years of asking you to have
          roll the right way, you still can't do
          it!

                         PHIL
          Yeah, how about the fact that I have not
          woken up with our comforter over me once
          in those 10 nears! You steal the whole
          thing away from me every night and
          mummify yourself.

                         CLARA
          What? Phil, I do not "steal" the
          comforter. It just happens when we're-

                         PHIL
          (points at her)
          Bulls Bull-shit.

                         CLARA
          Don't you point that at me!

                         PHIL
          I see your hock leg lock maneuver. Don't
          think I don't!

                         (ILLUSTRATING)
          You wrap that leg around and lock the
          comforter down then reeeeel it in so I
          can't pull it at all.

                         Â¢

                         CLARA
          I do not leg lock the comforter!

                         PHIL
          Oh yes you do!

                         CLARA
          u think I don't know your little
          icks? Where you leave like half a
          thimble of milk in the carton and put it
          back in the fridge so you don't have to
          be the one to "finish" it and replace it?

                         PHIL
          You're right. I do that. You know why
          do that, Clara?

                         CLARA
          Because you don't want to haul your
          ass to the market to buy it yourself!

                         PHIL
          Because I'm afraid to! God forbid I
          the wrong kind of grass-fed bio
          homogenized whatever and meet your wrath!
          You're like the Nutrition Nazi.

                         (MORE)

                         1Ï¿½1

                         

                         

                         

                         

          86.

          PHIL (CONT' D )
          And I've got to be your little Nutrition
          Nazi Goebbels because we have to be this
          "united front" with Ollie! What's wrong
          if he eats two bowls of Captain Sugar
          instead of one? Or if his handwriting
          isn't perfect? Or if he goes to school
          for one day not dressed like Finneas J.
          Nerdo!

                         CLARA
          Poor Phil. I feel so sorry for you. I
          must be hard having to be the cool fun
          parent while I get to be the one who
          makes sure our child's fed, clothed and

          SURVIVES!

                         PHIL
          How would you even know? You don't give
          me or anyone else a chance! You're so
          goddamn controlling! You've got to be
          Wonder Woman, keeping everyone in line,
          looking down on them from her fancy
          Wonder Woman plane and controlling
          everything with all her wonder
          superpowers! You paint yourself as this
          victim but you get off on being the
          superlady!

                         CLARA
          Urgh! You know w sometimes I don't pay
          attention to you, Phil? Because you give
          me a headache!
          Clara angrily rummages through her purse then lets out a
          frustrated sigh.

                         PHIL
          What? No aspirin in the wonderpurse?
          How could it be?
          Clara, furious, HURLS her purse at Phil's head. He ducks
          and the contents spill all over the road.

                         CLARA
          Screw you, Phil!

                         PHIL
          Yeah, fine! Sure! Screw me ! Even if I
          survive tonight I'm screwed all around
          anyway! Screwed with you! Screwed with
          my job!

                         CLARA
          What are you talking about, screwed with
          your job?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          87.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         PHIL
          was supposed to spend all tonight
          guring out a new brilliant plan for the
          fund so George wouldn't take it over
          tomorrow. Doesn't look like that's gonna
          happen!

                         CLARA
          Why didn't you tell me?

                         PHIL
          I don't know, Clara. Maybe because I
          didn't want you chiming in on how Mr.
          Rivers was right. He wants the new guy
          for all the reasons you complain about
          me! Someone who doesn't "play it safe."
          Someone who'll "take a risk."

                         CLARA
          I can't believe that's what you think
          do.

                         PHI
          Yeah, well...

                         (BEAT)
          You know, when you set up this whole
          "magical" night, in that dress... I got
          this glimmer that it was going to be like
          it used to be with us. But... I don't
          know. I guess we're just not those
          people anymore.

                         CLARA

                         (BEAT)
          I guess we're not.
          Shaking his head, Phil turns and walks away do-- the
          street. Clara, trying to hold it together, h
          and starts to gather the items from her purse
          something catches his eye. She picks up the
          ENVELOPE that Dora put in her bag.

          EXT. ROADWAY - MOMENTS LATER

          As Phil walks along, Clara comes running up behind him.
          Phil! Phil!
          She steps in front of him, trying to catch her breath.

                         PHIL
          I think we said all needs to be said
          right now, Clara.
          Panting, Clara holds out the manila envelope.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          88.

                         E

                         CLARA
          This... this... this...

                         PHIL
          What?

                         CLARA

                         (PANTING)
          Side cramp... Wow.
          She hands Phil the manila envelope and bends down, trying
          to stop her cramp. Confused, Phil opens it and looks at
          the pictures inside. His brow furrows.

                         PHIL
          What is it?
          Clara looks over his shoulder, shakes her head and TURNS
          THE PICTURE THE OTHER WAY AROUND. Phil's eyes go wide.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          Oh jeez. It's... it's...

                         C
          It's the Mayor.
          Phil looks at Clara, taking it all in.

          PHIL (V.0.)
          I bet this didn't have anything to do
          with Stockton at first.

          EXT. DESERTED STREETS - LATER

          Phil and Clara walk quickly down the street as they piece
          things together.

                         PHIL
          The Mayor must have gone to Stockton's
          club one night. He saw Dora working
          there and obviously gave some sign that
          he was interested.

                         CLARA
          So much for "Mr. Squeaky Clea

                         PHIL
          Her sleazy boyfriend Ray finds out and
          convinces her to take him up on it so
          they could photograph it and blackmail
          him.

                         CLARA
          They knew it was an election year and he
          would have to pay them whatever they
          asked.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          89.

                         PHIL
          But somehow Stockton found out about the
          photos too and wanted that power over the
          mayor himself.

                         CLARA
          So he sent his guys to the restaurant to
          intercept the Gales and get the photos.

                         PHIL
          But Ray and Dora spotted them and bailed
          before the Mayor even had a chance to
          show up.
          Phil thinks. He snaps his fingers.

                         CLARA
          What?

                         PHIL
          If we could find some way to get in touch
          with the mayor directly, without anyone
          else knowing, there actually might be a
          way out of this for us.
          Clara thinks for a moment. A light comes to her eyes.

                         CLARA
          can.

          DOORMAN BUILDING - LATER THAT NIGHT
          Phil and Clara walk into the lobby of the doorman
          building and start toward the elevator, straight past the

          NIGHT DOORMAN.

                         DOORMAN
          Whoa whoa whoa. Where do you
          you're going?

                         CLARA
          Oh, we're guests of Apartment 605
          The Doorman picks up the phone to call the apartmen

                         DOORMAN
          And you are?
          looks at him in shock.

                         CLARA
          Are you crazy? It's 4 in the morning!
           We were lust out for dinner. Trust me

                         

                         

                         

                         

          90.

                         Â¢

                         DOORMAN
          I'm not really allowed to just let you up
          there.

                         CLARA
          Please. Just look at us!
          The Doorman looks at Phil and Clara - a white, well
          dressed suburban couple.

                         DOORMAN
          OK. Yeah. Go ahead.
          The elevator door opens and they get inside.

                         PHIL
          Have a nice night.

                         DOORMAN
          You too.

                         ELEVATOR
          As the elevator doors close, Phil and Clara look at each
          other, then simultaneously slip PAPER BAGS with EYE and
          MOUTH HOLES over their heads.

          INT. MRS. CARDIGAN'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER

          Mrs. Cardigan, in her frilly nightgown with her eyemask
          pulled up on her forehead, walks through her dark living
          room toward the POUNDING on her front door.

          PHIL (O.S.)

                         (THROUGH DOOR)

          GAS AK LADY! OPEN UP!

          MRS. CARDIGAN
          All right. All-
          As Mrs. Cardigan opens the door, Phil and Clara, in their
          masks, BUM RUSH her. Screaming, Cardigan dodges, running
          back to her desk. Phil and Clara give chase, but
          Cardigan grabs a LARGE METAL YARDSTICK and starts
          WHOPPING PHIL over and over on his paper bag head,
          screaming the whole time.

           MRS. CARDIGAN (CONT'D)

          AHHHHH!

                         PHIL

          OW! OW! OW!
          Clara grabs her from behind, bringing her down.

                         1Ï¿½1
          rubs his paper bag head.

                         

                         

                         

                         
          9i.

          .7

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          Jesus!

          INT. CARDIGAN'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER

          Having put Cardigan's eyenask back over her eyes, Clara,
          bag off, holds Cardigan in a chair as Phil comes back
          into the living room holding two spools of FUZZY YARN.

                         PHIL
          I can't find any rope. Only yarn.

                         CLARA
          Yarn? Fine. Just use that. I'll start
          looking.
          Phil gets to work, wrapping the yarn over and over, tying
          Cardigan's arms to the back of the chair, while Clara
          searches Cardigan's desk.

          MRS. CARDIGAN
          You two weren't very prepared.

                         PHIL
          Excuse me?

          MRS. CARDIGAN

                         E
          You should have been more prepared.
          Thought ahead and brought the rope
          you.

                         PHIL
          OK, why don't you lay off the critiqu

          MRS. CARD---'--'
          's not a critique. It's a fact.

                         PHIL
          Oh is it a fact?

          MRS. CARDIGA?
          Yes. ng word choice.

                         PHIL
          Wrong word choice? Unbelievable! Well,
          let me throw a little word choice
          "correction" your way.

                         CLARA
          Partner!

                         PHIL
          Five year old kids can't be
          "antagonistic."

                         

                         

                         

                         

          92.

                         E

                         CLARA

                         PARTNE
          Phil looks over. Clara makes the "Cut it out" gesture
          across her throat.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          If you're done tying her up, come over
          and help.
          Phil crosses the room and starts going through notebooks
          on the desk.

          MRS. CARDIGAN
          The name's Cardigan, not Rockefeller, if
          you haven't figured it out yet! What
          idiots!

                         PHIL
          You must be such a positive influence on
          our youth.

          MRS. CARDIGAN
          You're one to talk!

                         CLARA
          Partner!

                         (TO CARDIGAN)
          1ï¿½1 Listen, lady, just sit tight and we'll be
          out of here before you know it.
          Phil picks up and flips quickly through a notebook, when
          he spots something and doubles back, starting to read.
          His brow furrows.
          Clara, deep in her own workbook, suddenly brightens.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Got it!
          She notices Phil's expression.

          CLARA (CONT ' D )
          What?
          hands the book to Clara to read. She does and
          darkens.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Oliver told her he's being mean to Je y
          Briggs because... he says he wants to
          marry her?

                         PHIL

                         (NODS)
          And that's what married people do.

                         40

                         

                         

                         

                         

          93.

                         Â¢
          As this hits them, Phil and Clara look at each other,
          then at Mrs. Cardigan, blindfolded in the living room.

          MRS. CARDIGAN

                         (SARCASTIC)
          What's wrong over there? No "crown
          jewels" yet?

                         CLARA
          Let's make the call,

          INT. MAYOR REYNOLD'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER

          The PHONE RINGS in Mayor Reynold's bedroom. He hops up
          and peers at the clock - 4:30 am - then at the caller ID.
          CARDIGAN, L. He looks over at his wife who snores loudly
          with earplugs in, then picks up the phone, confused.

                         MAYOR DIGGS

                         (INTO PHONE)
          Lucy? Is everything OK?

          INT. CARDIGAN'S APARTMENT - SAME

          On the phone in Cardigan's office, Phil is confused.

                         PHIL
          Lucy? Who's Lucy?

          MRS. CARDIGAN
          I'm Lucy.

                         CLARA
          (stunned',
          You and the Mayor are on a first name
          basis?

          MRS. CARDIGAN
          You're calling our Mayor in the middle of
          the night?

                         (YELLS)
          I had nothing to do with this Charlie!

                         CLARA
          Charlie?!? Lucy!?!? _ appened to
          "Â°boundaries matter?â =_.h? What happened
          to that, bitch?

                         PHIL
          Hey "partner." How about you put a sock
          in it now.

                         MAYOR DIGGS

                         (PHONE)
          Who is this ? r1

                         

                         

                         

                         

          94.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         PHIL
          You don't know me, Mr. Mayor, but I've
          recently come into possession of
          something that you were supposed to get
          from the Gales tonight.
          Silence on the line.

                          PHIL (CONT'D)
          Hello?

           MAYOR DIGGS (PHONE)

                          (CLEARS THROAT)
          And?

                         PHIL
          And whether you realize it or not, we
          ended up doing you a favor. You see,
          this man named Mr. Stockton - I
          know if you know him-

          MAYOR DIGGS (PH(
          I know who he is.

                         PHIL
          Well, he tried to steal the photos from
          the Gales. He's even got cops on his
          payroll helping him out. We think he was
          planning to sabotage your re-election.

          MAYOR DIGGS (PHONE)
          So what do you want for them?

                         PHIL
          What do we want?
          Phil looks at Clara.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          We just want our lives back. We want to
          go home, Mr. Mayor.

          INT. MAYOR'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

          The Mayor looks over nervously as his wife stirs. She
          goes back to snoring and he whispers into the phone
          again.

                         MAYOR DIGGS

                         THAT'S

                         PHIL (PHONE)
          That's it.
          Mayor Diggs breathes out and rubs his forehead.

                         0

                         

                         

                         

                         

          MAYOR DIGGS E
          If you really can get me... what I was
          supposed to receive earlier without this
          getting out, I promise you I'll take care
          of your safety.

                         PHIL (PHONE)
          But now the police think that-

                         MAYOR DIGGS
          Trust me. Get me the photos and he won't
          be bothering you again.

          INT. CARDIGAN'S OFFICE

          Clara sees Phil furrow his brow, confused.

                         CLARA
          is it?
          Phil's concentrating hard on something. Thinking.

          MAYOR DIGGS (PHONE)

                         PHIL
          Uh... yeah. We'll meet you at the Adler
          Planetarium in 1 hour. Come alone. E

          INT. MAYOR'S BEDROOM

          The Mayor rubs his forehead.

                         MAYOR DIGGS
          Of course. And... thank you.
          Click. The Mayor hangs up the phone and quietly leaves
          the bedroom.

          INT. MAYOR D'S HOME OFFICE

           Downing a glass of scotch, the Mayor sits at his desk and
           lets out a sigh of relief. Beat. He picks up his desk
          phone and dials.

          MAYOR DIGGS (PHOII )
          We dodged a bullet. They calac _e .

          INT. STOCKTON'S BACK ROOM - S

          Mr. Stockton sits at his desk, staring at a blueish
          monitor screen.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         

                         

                         

                         

          96.

                         STOCKTON
          interesting.
          ON STOCKTON'S MONITOR in front of him we see that Frank
          and Harry hold a wounded Ray and Dora in the meat locker.

          MAYOR DIGGS (PHONE)
          They thought you were stealing the photos
          from the Gales to try to blackmail me
          yourself.

          MR. STOCKTON
          Did they, now? That's great.

          MAYOR DIGGS (PHONE)
          They're going to meet me in an hour with
          them. Alone.

          MR. STOCKTON
          st keeps getting better.

          ADLER PLANETARIUM - LATER
          Phil and Clara sit silently on the steps of the
          beautiful, old Alder Planetarium looking at dawn hitting
          the CHICAGO SKYLINE.

                         CLARA
          Man, I love this city. Always have.

                         PHIL
          When was the last time we watched the
          sunrise together?

                         CLARA
          Probably the last time we were here.

                         PHIL

                         (THINKS)
          Nope. it wasn't. It was the morning
          that Ollie was born.

          CT,ARA

                         ES)
          You're The morning Ollie was
          born.
          They look at each other, remembering.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          Man, I'm starving!

                         PHIL
          Me too.

                         (PAUSE)
          Sorry you never got your truffles.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          97.

                         E
          Clara reaches into her purse.

                         CLARA
          Who needs white truffles when you've got
          a lemon zest Luna bar.
          Clara breaks it in two and hands half to Phil. They
          click the halves together, toasting each other, then
          silently chew, looking out. Phil shakes his head and
          starts GIGGLING.

                         CLARA (CONT'D)
          What?

                         PHIL

                         (GIGGLING)
          OK, what happened to us tonight?
          the hell are we doing here?
          Clara starts laughing too.

                         CLAIRA
          It's not funny.

                         PHIL
          No, I know it's not funny. It's not
          funny at all.

                         CLARA
          en why are you laughing?

                         PHIL
          Why are you laughing?
          They're both cracking up... then Phil notices a moment
          later that Clara's laughter has turned to

                         PHIL (CON

                         I
          Wha e gonna be OK, Cla

          CLP--P, A
          No. It's not that. just... this is
          nice. Right now.
          (tears up again)
          You don't understand... I really don't
          want to be Wonder Woman, Phil! I don't
          At all!

                         (SOBS)
          You don't see that this whole time I'm
          flying in a glass plane! In a glass
          Mane!

                         PHIL

                         (BEAT)
          Uh, OK, but I think Wonder Woman actua
          flies an invisible plane, not a glass
          plane.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          98.
          This makes Clara break into a bigger round of sobs.

                         CLARA
          You see! It isn't even there at all! I
          don't even have a plane! No plane! I'm
          running on fumes!

                         PHIL
          You're not running on fumes, Clara.

                         CLARA
          I'm not trying to be uptight, or
          controlling! Or a nutrition...

                         PHIL
          Nazi.

                         CLARA
          Nazi! I'm just trying the only way I
          know how to keep everything from fall
          apart!

                         PHIL
          It won't fall apart. And I really can
          help whenever you feel like it is. With
          Ollie. Whatever. You just never act
          like you need me to.

                         CLARA
          That's because as it is you see us as a
          distraction from your work!

                         PHIL
          You think I see you guys as a
          distraction? God no, Clara.

                         (SHAKES HEAD)
          You don't understand... I have this wife
          who does everything better than anyone
          I've ever known. And the greatest son.
          You want to know why I obsess so much
          about my stupid job? Because I want to
          feel like... like I can do something good
          enough to deserve someone like you. I
          mean, I look at you and I jest don't
          stack up.

                         CLARA
          That's crazy, Phil. You do. You're a
          god man. You're the best man I know.

                         PHIL
          I'll never be the guy who remembers
          always put toilet paper on the right way.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          99.

                         CLARA
          I don't think I would really want to be
          with that guy, Phil. I just... want us
          to be on the same team again.
          As Clara sniffles, Phil takes this in for a beat. He
          nods.

                         PHIL
          Listen, you know what I said before,
          about not being the people we used to be?

                         CLARA
          Phil, we were angry-

                         PHIL
          No, Clara. It's true. We're not. And I
          know I'm going to drive you crazy again,
          and you're definitely going to drive me
          crazy. But I wouldn't want to do it with
          anybody else.
          He hugs her tight.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          We had a good fight tonight, didn't we?

                         CLARA
          Yeah, we did. You know the worst part
          about not talking about all this
          recently?

                         PHIL
          What?

                         CLARA
          We missed out on a lot of make up sex.
          And our make up sex woulda rocked!

                         PHIL
          You think?

                         CLARA
          Oh yeah.
          Phil s when he spots something behind Clara.
          MAYOR DIGGS looks both walks from his car in
          the parking lot toward the--.

                         PHIL
          Here we go.

                         (BEAT)
          Tell me now. Do you need to pee?

                         CLARA
          1 hold it.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          100.

                         Â¢
          They get up and start walking down the steps to meet him.

          EXT. BOTTOM OF STEPS - MOMENTS LATER

          Phil and Clara meet the Mayor at the bottom of the steps.
          Clara takes the manila envelope out of her purse, handing
          it to him.

                         PHIL
          This is what you're looking for. I've
          tten down our information inside.

                         MAYOR DIGGS
          And that's it?

                         PHIL
          That's it. We're going home now.
          The Mayor nods, and Phil and Clara start walking past him
          toward the parking lot. Mayor Diggs stays behind,
          nervously tapping the envelope in his hand.
          As Phil and Clara get halfway to the lot, ALL THE MAYOR'S
          CAR DOORS OPEN, and Manning, Frank, Harry, and Mr.
          Stockton climb out. Frank and Harry pop the trunk and
          grab SHEETS OF CLEAR PLASTIC. Phil's eyes go wide.

                         PHIL (CONT'D)
          Oh God. Run, Clara!
          Phil and Clara start to run, when a GUNSHOT hits the
          ground in front of them. They turn, when ANOTHER SHOT
          rings out.

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING
          The next one won't be a warning shot.
          They look over to see Manning training a gun as he and
          Stockton walk toward them, Harry and Frank behind with
          the plastic.

          MR. STOCKTON
          (to Harry and Frank
          Let's do it over there.
          y and Frank quickly throw the plastic sheets down on
          the grass nearby.

                         MAYOR DIGGS
          I'm going to wait in the c r
          don't mind.

          MR. STOCKTON
          Sure thing, Mr. Mayor.

                         

                         

                         

                         

                         E
          As Mayor Diggs starts to walk back to the parking lot, he
          opens the manila envelope. Manning gestures for Phil and
          Clara to walk to the plastic sheets.

                         PHIL
          Please. Please don't do

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING
          Over there.

                         PHIL
          Please! We have a child!

                         'VT MINING
          said over there!

          ï¿½J PH I L

                         (BEGGING)
          Just me then, OK? I promise you she's
          not going to say anything! Please! We
          have a child!

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING
          Last time I'm going to say it.
          Resigned, Phil and Clara sadly look at each other, then
          walk to stand in front of the plastic on the ground.

                         1Ï¿½1

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING

                         (CONT'D)
          On your knees.
          Phil, scared, holds out his hand to Clara. She takes
          looking back at him and they kneel in front of the
          plastic, side by side.
          Mr. Stockton nods to Lieutenant Manning, who checks his
          gun.

          M A Y O R DIG GS (O . S . )

                         WHAT THE
          Mr. Stockton and Lieutenant inning turn. Mayor Diggs
          sifts through pages of DOCJ J:TTS that were in t h ''w Wila
          Envelope.

                         PHIL
          -eally were planning to give you the
          pictures, Mr. Mayor. That is, until you
          -.sre so casual about is not needing to
          worry about the cop who was after us.
          That made me a little suspicious because
          I never told you which cop it was.

                         CLARA
          Then we got to talking and realized how
          dumb we were.

                         (MORE)

                         

                         

                         

                         

          102.

                          CLARA (CONT'D)
          E If you came on to some waitress at the
          Rainbow, you must have felt pretty darn
          comfortable there.

                         PHIL
          Which meant Stockton was probably your
          buddy.

          MR. STOCKTON
          Where are the pictures?

                         PHIL
          But we were still confused, because if
          you guys are buddies, how do you explain
          the Falconwood Corporation?
          Mr. Stockton's face blanches.

          MR. STOCKTON
          They're obviously not going to tell us!
          Just shoot them!

                         MAYOR DIGGS
          Wait. I've heard that name. What's the
          Falconwood Corporation?

                         PHIL
          Runs the hiring of inspectors for the
          Department of Highways in Chicago. You

                         Â¢
          know, the ones who have been finding all
          those violations?

          MR. STOCKTON
          Manning! I said shoot them!

                         LIEUTENANT MANNING
          I work for the Mayor, Terrence.

                         MAYOR DIGGS
          Why do you keep interrupting, Terrence?

                         PHIL
          Maybe because according to the paperwork
          you've got there, he owns Falconwood.

                         CLARA
          Not only that, you'll see those other
          pages that he also owns a cc=rpany called
          Eurostruct - which rents the city all of
          its construction equipment.

          MR. STOCKTON
          Frank, Harry!
          Frank and Harry reach for their guns, but Manning turns
          his gun on them.

                         E

                         

                         

                         

                         

          103.

                         PHIL
          The more violations Falconwood finds, the
          longer Eurostruct rents the equipment.
          That turns into big bucks, Mr. Mayor.
          I'm sure that's not a moral problem for
          you, but he's kind of screwing you in an
          election year, isn't he? Some of us are
          pretty pissed off about the roads.
          Mayor Diggs flips through the documents, taking it all

                         MAYOR DIGGS
          You did this to me? I don't get it,
          Terrence. Why? How much do you need? I
          have the Lieutenant here watch your back
          on all of your gambling clubs-

          MR. STOCKTON
          Oh, do you mean the ones that you gamble
          at? Where I cover your debts? Those
          clubs?

                         MAYOR DIGGS
          I slipped your company 5 no-bid
          foreclosed buildings for a dollar each
          downtown.

          MR. STOCKTON â¢
          You think that pays for what I do for
          you? The girls I have to pay off? The
          jet charters? And let's not even get
          into your "re-election fund"! Let's not
          even go there!

                         PHIL

                         ( `TIKES HEAD)
          Listen to them.
          Stockton angrily pulls his own the gun out of his jacket
          pocket, shoving it against the back of Phil's neck.

          MR. STOCKTON
          How did you get this? How?

           HOLBROOKE (O.S.)
          Tha be from me.
          Mr. Stockton and others turn around to see HOLBROOKE
          P_IF SON, brandi= --.g his gun and looking like the FBI
          he always -t e_' to be, leap -= a pack of Cher
          AGEN=IS as they JT OF THE L '_:I T"_ : RIU?

          STEPS.

           HOLEROOK E (CONT ' D )
           FBI! Drop it!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          104.
          Manning tried to object, pulling out his bad

                         HOLBROOKE (CONT'D)
          Yeah, yeah. I know all about you, buddy.
          With a smile Phil and Clara get up, disconnecting the
          WIRES under their clothing. Seeing them hand over the
          wires to Holbrooke, it hits Mayor Diggs what he's just
          revealed.

                         MAYOR DIGGS
          Aw fuck.

                         PHIL

                         (SHRUGS)
          Makes you feel any better, I wasn't gonna
          vote for you anyway.

                         CLARA
          either.

          EXT. FRONT OF PHIL AND CLARA'S HOUSE - MORNING

          As Holbrooke drops Phil and Clara off in front of their
          house, his BLACKBERRY buzzes and he checks it.

                         Â¢ CLARA
          Everything OK?

                         HOLBROOKE
          Yeah. They just need me downtown in half
          an hour for a news conference with the
          Deputy Mayor. Want it for the morning
          shows.

                         PHIL
          Don't think they're going to be calling
          you the IT guy any-more.

                         HOLBROOKE
          Listen guys, I feel weird about not even
          acknowledging you two.

                         CLARA
          Don't.

                         HOLBROOKE
          But you should be up there with me. You
          handed this whole case to me.

                         PHIL
          (smiles, winks)
          Yeah, well-, that's how we roll.
          They get out of the car and start up the driveway.

                         0

                         

                         

                         

                         

          105.

                         Â¢

          EXT. DOORSTEP - DAWN

          As Clara opens the front door, Phil slowly bends down,
          picking up the morning paper.

          CHAZ (O.S.)
          Hey hey! Up bright and early, aren
          Phil looks over to see his overly cheery neighbor Chaz in
          his jogging suit. He smiles, appreciating Chaz for the
          first time.

                         PHIL
          Yep. We sure are.
          As he joins Clara on the doorstep, they take each other
          in.

                         CLARA
          You have your presentation in a few
          hours.

                         PHIL

                         (SHRUGS)
          Yeah. You know, I think I'm gonna be OK.

                         CLARA

                         Â¢
          I had a good time tonight.

                         PHIL
          Yeah. Me too. It was fun.

                         CLARA
          It was.

                         PHIL
          So... let's do this again sometime?

                         CLARA

                         (SMILE)
          like that.
          For the first time the whole night, THEY KISS.
          Interlocking fingers, they head inside, closing their
          front door behind them.

          FACE OUT.



                         THE END