DEADPOOL



                        Written by

                 Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick




                         Final Shooting Script - November 16, 2015






    OVER BLACK. Low volume, through a tinny speaker, JUICE
    NEWTON'S `ANGEL OF THE MORNING.'

                                                          FADE UP ON:

1   EXT./INT.   TAXI CAB - MORNING                                        1

    DEADPOOL, in full DRESS REDS and MASK, quietly FIDGETS in the
    BACK SEAT of a TAXI CAB as it proceeds along a CITY FREEWAY.

    Deadpool adjusts the two KATANAS strapped to his back. Rolls
    the WINDOWS up, down, up. Tries futilely to untwist the
    seatbelt, then LUNGES forward, locking it up. Rifles through
    a tourist booklet and tears out a HAUNTED SEGWAY TOUR coupon.
    The CABBIE, young, thin, brown, glances back and forth from
    the rear view to the road to the rear view.

                          DEADPOOL
                Kinda lonesome back here.

    CUT TO: DEADPOOL, WEDGING himself through the opening
    between the back seat and front. His two katanas don't
    cooperate, catching on the Plexiglas, stalling him mid-torso.

                          DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                Little help?

    The cabbie grabs Deadpool's hand and pulls him through to the
    front. Deadpool's head rests upside down on the bench seat
    as he maneuvers his legs through. The cabbie turns the
    helping hand into a HANDSHAKE, then turns down the Juice.

                            CABBIE
                Dopinder.

                          DEADPOOL
                    (still upside-down)
                Pool. Deadpool.

    Dopinder is remarkably UNAFFECTED by the lunatic in his cab.

                          DOPINDER
                Why the fancy red suit, Mr. Pool?

                          DEADPOOL
                It's like Christmas Day, Dopinder. Been
                waiting one thousand eight hundred twenty-
                two days, three hours...
                    (checks `Adventure Time'
                     watch)
                ...and thirty-six minutes for this shit.




                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                      2.
                  Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
1   CONTINUED:                                                             1

    DEADPOOL turns himself RIGHT-SIDE-UP in the front seat. He
    is YOKED to the gills and ARMED to the teeth. TWIN KATANAS.
    TWIN DESERT EAGLE .50 CALIBER PISTOLS.

    Deadpool grabs Dopinder's OPEN BAG of CORN NUTS. Dopinder
    isn't quick enough to stop him. Deadpool gazes out the
    window onto the city - a teeming, sooty urban sprawl that
    looks almost... pre-post-apocalyptic.

    Deadpool turns up his MASK. Dopinder catches a GLIMPSE of
    the bottom of a SCARRED face. And quickly looks AWAY.
    Deadpool eats the CORN NUTS. CRUNCH. CRUNCH. Points.

                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                 Nice.

    Dopinder eyes his DAFFODIL DAYDREAM AIR FRESHENER and takes a
    deep breath through his nose.

                           DOPINDER
                 Smells good, no?

                           DEADPOOL
                 Not the Daffodil Daydream.      The girl.

    A PICTURE of a young INDIAN WOMAN is taped to the dash.

                           DOPINDER
                 Ah yes. Gita. She is quite lovely. She
                 was supposed to make me a very agreeable
                 wife. Mom and Dad chose her rather
                 excellently. But Gita's heart has been
                 stolen by my cousin Bandhu. Bandhu is as
                 dishonorable as he is attractive.

                           DEADPOOL
                 Dopinder, I'm starting to think I'm in
                 this cab for a reason.

                           DOPINDER
                 Because you hailed it?

                           DEADPOOL
                 No, my slender brown friend... to give
                 you one crucial piece of advice: Love...
                 is a beautiful thing. When it finds you,
                 the whole world smells like Daffodil
                 Daydream.

    Deadpool's own heartbreak is palpable.        He takes another
    deep, cleansing BREATH.




                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                     3.
                 Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
1   CONTINUED: (2)                                                        1

                          DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                So hold onto love tight. Go at Bandhu
                hard. Get Gita back. Or else... the
                whole world will taste like Mama June
                after hot yoga.

                          DOPINDER
                And how does Ms. Mama June taste?

                          DEADPOOL
                Like two hobos making love under a
                drizzle of Limburger- I could go all day
                like this. Point is, bad.

    Deadpool chucks the bag of Corn Nuts into the back seat and
    pulls out his PISTOLS. He starts CHAMBERING shells into two
    magazines.

    Suddenly, he frantically pats himself down, like a Hollywood
    agent who can't find his phone.

                          DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                Shiiiit. My extra mags! I usually leave
                them right by the door so I'll trip over
                them! Someone must've moved them...

2   INT.   DEADPOOL'S LAIR - DAY                                          2

    A blind late-70's AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMAN in a purple floral
    dress enters the front door, falls as she trips over an `I
    *HEART* HELLO KITTY' DUFFEL BAG of AMMUNITION, PICKS it UP,
    and CARRIES it OFF.

3   INT./EXT.   TAXI CAB - MORNING                                        3

                          DOPINDER
                Shall we turn back?

                          DEADPOOL
                No time. Not today.
                    (slides in last bullets)
                Ten, eleven, twelve... or bust.
                    (chambers a shell into each
                     gun, looks up)
                Right here!

    The cab SCREECHES to a stop on the shoulder of the highest
    FREEWAY in a massive INTERCHANGE of freeways. Dopinder halts
    the meter and hands Deadpool his CARD.

                            DOPINDER
                My card.    That's $27.50.



                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                  4.
                  Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
3   CONTINUED:                                                           3

                           DEADPOOL
                 Oooo. I never carry a wallet when I'm
                 working. Ruins the lines of my suit.
                 How 'bout a crisp high five?

    Dopinder stares as he and Deadpool slap skin.        Deadpool GETS
    OUT of the cab.

                           DOPINDER
                 Be sure to... ask for me again?

                           DEADPOOL
                 I owe you one. Merry Christmas,
                 Dopinder.

                           DOPINDER
                 And a convivial... Tuesday in April to
                 you, Pool... Guy.

    Deadpool closes the door with a flourish.         Boom.

4   EXT./INT.    `THE RAFT' PRISON - MORNING                             4

    A bone-white ISLAND PRISON, affectionately nicknamed `The
    Raft,' looms ominously in a CITY HARBOR.

    Etched in helvetica into the prison wall: `No punishment has
    ever possessed enough power of deterrence to prevent the
    commission of crimes.' - Hannah Arendt. Below it, GRAFFITIED
    in RED SPRAY PAINT: `Until NOW'

    The prison's FRONT DOORS OPEN, and out steps a handcuffed
    PRISONER, 30's, ORANGE JUMPSUIT, broad shoulders, whip-smart,
    tightly coiled, with cool, dead-blue eyes. BURLY GUARDS
    guide him across a CAUSEWAY toward a CONVOY of Escalades and
    Ducatis on shore.

    The middle Escalade's door opens.       The prisoner stops.   The
    guards unlock his CUFFS.

                           GUARD
                 You're someone else's problem now.

    The ex-prisoner STRETCHES his arms and strides TOWARD the
    convoy.

                             PRISONER
                 Yes.   I.   Am.

    CUE SALT & PEPA'S `SHOOP:'
                                                                   5.
                Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15



5   EXT.   FREEWAY OVERPASS - DAY                                       5

    DEADPOOL sits on the edge of the highest freeway on the
    overpass, legs dangling over the side like Huck Finn.

                         DEADPOOL
               Can I get some fries with that shake-
               shake boobie? If looks could kill you
               would be an uzi.

    Deadpool is using some broken CRAYONS to draw something on a
    scrap of paper. REVERSE ANGLE to REVEAL a childish drawing
    of Deadpool SHOOTING another man in the head, brains blowing
    out.

    The victim's thought bubble reads: `OUCHIE!!!'       Even through
    the mask, Deadpool looks pleased by this.

    He turns to CAMERA:

                          DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
               Oh, hello, Deadpool here. You may be
               wondering whose balls I had to fondle to
               get my own movie. Rhymes with
               `Polverine.' Couple'a smooth criminals.
                   (ALT:)
               In a word, gorgeous.
                   (ALT:)
               Surprisingly little hair down there.
                   (ALT:)
               It's a jungle down there.
                   (ALT:)
               Thick underbrush.
                   (beat)
               Anyway, I smell Oscar. The suit's gonna
               match the carpet. Now... places to be...
               faces to fix... bad guys to kill...

    ANGLE ON a distant BIRD'S EYE VIEW of the freeway
    interchange: an interwoven tangle of ramps.

6   EXT. REMOTE AIRFIELD - MORNING                                      6

    AJAX, 30's, dead-blue eyes, broad shoulders, whip-smart,
    tightly coiled stands at ease on a cracked and blistered
    tarmac. Behind him, a HEAVILY ARMED CONVOY OF DUCATIS and
    ESCALADES. FOUR LARGE ALUMINUM CARGO CRATES sit beside him.

    Ajax squints into the sun as A BELL HELICOPTER thrashes the
    air above him, kicking up dust as it lands.




                                                              (CONTINUED)
                                                                     6.
                  Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
6   CONTINUED:                                                            6

    A SERBIAN WARLORD, mid-50's, sharply dressed, armored
    BRIEFCASE in hand, climbs out. He is surrounded by ARMED
    GUARDS.

    The Warlord places the BRIEFCASE on the FOREMOST CRATE. Ajax
    pops the case... to find STACKS upon STACKS of THOUSAND
    DOLLAR BILLS. Satisfied, he closes the briefcase and hands
    it to one of his men.

                           AJAX
                     (bangs crate)
                 They won't disappoint.

                           WARLORD
                 They'd better not.    And next month's
                 shipment?

                           AJAX
                 There won't be one. Demand is high. You
                 aren't the only one with a war to win.

                           WARLORD
                     (steps forward)
                 That won't do.

    Both sets of armed thugs shift to ready positions.

    Ajax smiles calmly, but his free hand DARTS OUT and CASUALLY
    LIFTS the warlord into the air by the THROAT. Fingers find
    triggers on both sides.

                           AJAX
                 There's been a small... disruption in our
                 supply chain. We'll deliver in full the
                 following month. Say, ten percent off
                 for the inconvenience?

    The Warlord manages to nod in acquiescence.       Ajax smiles
    again, lowers him gasping to the ground.

                           AJAX (CONT'D)
                 We appreciate your business.

    Ajax spins and walks purposefully toward the line of waiting
    SUV's.

    The warlord angrily motions for his men to begin loading the
    crates into the helicopter, which they do.

                           WARLORD
                     (sotto voce)
                 Fucking mutant.



                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                     7.
                Deadpool   Final Shooting Script     11/16/15
6   CONTINUED: (2)                                                        6

    Behind him the convoy of SUV's and motorcycles pull out,
    falling into line as they accelerate past the rows of
    derelict aircraft.

7   EXT.   FREEWAY OVERPASS - DAY                                         7

    DEADPOOL watches as the convoy approaches. He CASUALLY gets
    up as if standing up out of an easy chair...

                         DEADPOOL
               On your mark, get set, go, let me go, let
               me shoop...

    He PIROUETTES, and DROPS an entire level DOWN...

8   INT. ESCALADE - MORNING                                               8

    THROUGH the SUNROOF of an ESCALADE.     SMASH!

    There are FOUR HUGE BAD-ASSES inside the S.U.V., two in
    front, two behind. Deadpool lands back-middle in a HAILSTORM
    of GLASS. He stuns the men to both sides with elbows to the
    face as he raises his arms in greeting.

                          DEADPOOL
               ¡Hola! ¡Me llamo Piscina De La Muerte!
                   (subtitled, in YELLOW:)
               Hello! My name is the Pool of Death.
               There's no easy way to say this. I'm
               pregnant, Trevor.
                   (ALT:)
               Any of you seen Green Lantern? Me
               neither.

    BOOM! MAYHEM ERUPTS as the two men in back find themselves
    sharing a phone booth with the TASMANIAN DEVIL: ELBOWS.
    FOREARMS. KNEES. CRACKING. CRUNCHING. SCREAMING.

    From BEHIND, the Escalade BUCKS and BOUNCES down the road on
    its suspension, almost CARTOON-LIKE.

    A brutal punch spins Deadpool UPSIDE-DOWN, and he rolls with
    it, uses his FEET to BREAK the man's NECK. The other man
    stomps on his head, then drags him up and SMUSHES Deadpool's
    face into the seat's premium trim.

                         DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
               Rich... Corinthian... Leather.

    Deadpool HURLS the man through THROUGH the TAILGATE WINDOW.

    The man clutches the TAILGATE, DRAGGED behind the S.U.V.
    Deadpool sticks his head between the two guys in FRONT.


                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                      8.
                  Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
8   CONTINUED:                                                             8

                           DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                 Scuse, por favor!

    The DRIVER SLAMS Deadpool's head into the console repeatedly.

                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                 Ow.   Ow.   Ow. Ow. Ow.

    Deadpool squirms away and WRESTLES VIOLENTLY with the guy in
    the PASSENGER SEAT.

    He GRABS the PASSENGER SEAT-BELT, TIES it around the guy's
    ANKLE, and KICKS him out the PASSENGER SIDE DOOR. The guy's
    HEAD and SHOULDERS SMACK pavement, where he's DRAGGED
    mercilessly by his ANKLE - a modern COWBOY whose boot just
    got stuck in his horse's STIRRUP.

    Deadpool grabs the driver by the HAIR on the BACK of his HEAD
    and BANGS his FOREHEAD into:

    The horn. HONK. HONK. The stereo. Every time the driver's
    forehead SMACKS the face of the stereo, the RADIO STATION
    CHANGES:

    MARIACHI. DR. DREW. MONSTER TRUCK COMMERCIAL ('SUNDAY,
    SUNDAY, SUNDAY!'). One more SMACK to get us back to
    MARIACHI.

    Deadpool looks in the REAR VIEW MIRROR to see the man in back
    CRAWL up the tailgate.

    Deadpool PUSHES in the Cadillac's CIGARETTE LIGHTER.

    Back to the DRIVER. Deadpool BASHES his face into the
    DRIVER's SIDE WINDOW. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.

    We're now OUTSIDE the Escalade, seeing the driver's
    expression take on a ridiculous silly-putty-esque grimace of
    pain every time it's MUSHED into the glass.

    The man in back scrambles forward. The CIGARETTE LIGHTER
    POPS OUT. Deadpool YANKS the EMERGENCY BRAKE. The man in
    back LAUNCHES forward and SMACKS the DASHBOARD.

    Deadpool STABS the now ORANGE-HOT lighter into the man's
    forehead, burning the COIL PATTERN into his skin. The man
    SCREAMS.

                           DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                 Loved your work in Daredevil.

    Deadpool stuffs the lighter INTO the man's mouth and CLAMPS
    his hand over it.


                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                       9.
                    Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
8     CONTINUED: (2)                                                         8

      The man hollers in muffled agony. A MOTORCYCLE has pulled
      AHEAD of the ESCALADE and now sits, STOPPED, in its path.

      The helmeted RIDER OPENS FIRE with a SUB-MACHINE GUN.

      Deadpool has one hand grasped on the back of the driver's
      neck, still mashing his face into the window glass, and the
      OTHER hand still clamped over the second man's mouth. He
      plants both FEET on the steering wheel and `drives,' spinning
      the wheel, sending the S.U.V. into...

      ...a ROLL.    The Escalade goes ENDO, SOMERSAULTING WILDLY.

      Suddenly, the ACTION BEGINS TO SLOW...

      The motorcycle RIDER tries to bail out. NO LUCK. The
      tumbling Escalade PLOWS RIGHT INTO him AND his bike.

      Parts scatter off the motorcycle, including its CHAIN. The
      RIDER continues to SQUEEZE off ROUNDS as he goes FLYING.

      Inside the Escalade, Deadpool goes SPIN-CYCLE. The DRIVER
      flies through the sunroof, tearing out its remaining glass.
      BLOOD spatters. The other man spits out the glowing
      CIGARETTE LIGHTER. The guy whose ankle is still tangled in
      the seat-belt FLAILS through the air like a rag-doll, AHAB
      tied to MOBY DICK.

      The action CONTINUES to SLOW... until it FREEZES.

      The camera swoops in to Deadpool's face, upside down.

      HE TURNS HIS HEAD TO CAMERA FOR THE FIRST TIME, BREAKING THE
      FOURTH WALL, THE ONLY THING IN THE SCENE THAT'S MOVING:

                              DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                   Shit.   Did I leave the stove on?

      We RAMP back UP to FULL SPEED. The S.U.V. CARTWHEELS. The
      guy's ankle untangles from the seat-belt. He FLIES high
      toward a big HIGHWAY EXIT SIGN and... SPLAT... out of frame.

      The RIDER's NECK is SLICED by the flying MOTORCYCLE CHAIN.

      The DRIVER is half-way out the SUNROOF when the S.U.V. rolls
      over him. SQUISH.

      The man who ate the CIGARETTE LIGHTER now eats pavement.

VX8   EXT.   X-MANSION - DAY                                                VX8

      A sign reads `PROFESSOR XAVIER'S SCHOOL FOR GIFTED
      YOUNGSTERS.


                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                       10.
                    Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
VX8   CONTINUED:                                                          VX8

                             REPORTER (O.S.)
                   Breaking news. A multicar collision
                   turns shots fired on the crosstown
                   expressway...

      The sign sits on the perfectly manicured front lawn of the
      gorgeous Gothic X-MANSION.

VX8   INT.   KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS                                         VX8

      The X-Men's COLOSSUS. A GOOD-NATURED GIANT with CHROME METAL
      FOR SKIN. BIG AS A BARN. OTHER-WORLDLY STRONG. He is
      sitting in the kitchen, eating a bowl of GRAPE NUTS and
      finishing a SUDOKU, his attention suddenly drawn to a
      TELEVISION SCREEN:

                             REPORTER
                   The assailant appears to be wearing a...

                   COLOSSUS                      REPORTER (CONT'D)
      Red suit?                            Red suit.

      With an audible CRACK, the pencil in Colossus' thick fingers
      snaps. He rises, muttering Russian curses and stalks from
      the kitchen.

VC8   INT.   HANGAR - MOMENTS LATER                                       VC8

      Massive STEEL BLAST DOORS emblazoned with a huge "X" slide
      open to reveal COLOSSUS. He walks quickly and purposefully
      towards a big plane in the center of the huge space: the
      BLACKBIRD, the X-Men's modified XR-71 jet transport.

      Struggling to keep up with the giant's long strides is a
      supernaturally CUTE, supernaturally DEADPAN 15-YEAR-OLD GIRL,
      in an X-MEN outfit. NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD.

                             COLOSSUS
                   I've given Deadpool every chance to join
                   us. And what is my reward? More
                   immaturity and criminality! When will he
                   finally grow up and see benefits of
                   becoming X-Man?

                             NTW
                   Like... The house that blows up every few
                   years? The fashion-forward jump-suits?
                   I need to get myself kicked out of X-
                   School.

                             COLOSSUS
                   But I thought you were at top of class.



                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                        11.
                    Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
VC8   CONTINUED:                                                           VC8

                             NTW
                   Was that sarcasm?    Awesome.

                             COLOSSUS
                   You ate breakfast, yes? Breakfast is
                   most important meal of day.
                       (hands NTW a protein bar)
                   Here. Protein bar, good for bones.
                   Deadpool may try to break yours.

      NTW shoves the bar in a pocket of her coat without breaking
      stride.

9     EXT. FREEWAY OVERPASS - MORNING                                        9

      The S.U.V. slides to a halt ON ITS SIDE, PASSENGER WINDOWS
      UP. The rest of the CONVOY is forced to stop BEHIND.

      A BUNCH of MEN PILE OUT, each one carrying a BEASTLY GUN and
      POINTING it STRAIGHT at the disabled S.U.V.

      The last noise is made by one final dislodged HUBCAP, which
      rattles in little circles until it lies FLAT on the freeway.

      TWO SILENT BEATS. Then we hear the soft, ELECTRIC BUZZ of
      the Escalade's middle passenger window ROLLING DOWN. Up pops
      the HEAD of DEADPOOL, like the GOPHER in Caddyshack.

      BANG BANG BANG BANG.

                             DEADPOOL
                   Wait, wait...

      The head drops, the hands come up.        BANG.

                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                   Wait! You're probably wondering. Why the
                   red suit? It's so bad guys can't see me
                   bleed. This guy has the idea. He wore
                   the brown pants.
                       (to camera)
                   All together now...

      The THUGS immediately OPEN FIRE.

      Deadpool is already leaping upward, flipping backwards,
      bullets tearing the air beneath him as he pulls out those TWO
      MASSIVE .50 CAL PISTOLS... and in slo-mo, RETURNS FIRE.

      Deadpool keeps count of every bullet he fires:

                               DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                   Twelve..!


                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                      12.
                  Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
9   CONTINUED:                                                              9

    A SHELL-CASING is EJECTED. We enter EXTREME SLO-MO and SWOOP
    IN on the shell as it TUMBLES through the air...

    ...revealing the number `00012' ETCHED in a semi-circle on
    its butt end. Deadpool FIRES the second pistol. We move
    instantly to the second shell: `00011'

                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                 Eleven...

    FULL SPEED.    The first TWO THUGS get a MOUTHFUL of BULLET.

                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                 Ten...

    ANOTHER SHOT. A THUG takes one in the HEART.          The other
    thugs POUR LEAD into the disabled S.U.V.

    Deadpool LEAPS UP and OUT of the window, rising ABOVE the
    incoming shots, then LANDING SAFELY BEHIND the Escalade.

    Deadpool TURNS to SPY a MOTORCYCLE RIDER BEARING DOWN ON HIM.
    This rider wears a distinctive SILVER HELMET.

    Deadpool raises BOTH pistols. This RIDER LEANS away, dodging
    each slug. First left, then right, then left.

                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                 Nine.    Shit! Eight. Fuck! Seven.       Shit-
                 fuck!

    The bike WHIZZES PAST safely, firing bullets, DEADPOOL
    follows, leaping high, flipping over the S.U.V.

    He lands smoothly the other side, right BEHIND a thug who's
    looking in the other direction as he sneaks around the car.

    Deadpool SHRUGS and SHOOTS him in the BACK of the HEAD at
    POINT BLANK RANGE.

                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                 Six.

    The shell tumbles to the ground, falls still.         `00006'

    Deadpool opens the Escalade.       His target is NOT THERE.

    BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG. Deadpool is nearly BROUGHT DOWN by
    a particularly big thug with a particularly big AK-47.

    He dives behind another Escalade, takes a moment to search
    the interior through the windows... and then flinches as AK-
    47 bullets pass THROUGH the skin of the S.U.V. around him.


                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                    13.
               Deadpool   Final Shooting Script     11/16/15
9   CONTINUED: (2)                                                        9

    One of the bullets lands in DEADPOOL'S BICEP. Deadpool
    yelps, in pain... then stuffs some of his torn red suit
    fabric into the hole to staunch the bleeding.

    Then he scrambles AROUND the S.U.V., trying to close the
    distance to this guy through a WITHERING BARRAGE of fire.

    Another of the AK's slugs SLICES a swath out of the mask on
    Deadpool's head, SINGING his hair.

                         DEADPOOL.
              Fuck.   You.

    Deadpool lands in FRONT of the thug. The thug pulls his
    trigger again, only to - CLICK - realize he's OUT of BULLETS.

                        DEADPOOL
              Someone's not counting.    Cinco.

    The bullet HITS the thug in the throat.       `00005'

                        DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
              Me gusta cinco.

    Deadpool STRIDES past the fallen thug, pawing at his singed
    hair - ow - and then out of sheer, pumped-up ANGER...

    ...turns and PUMPS TWO MORE SUPERFLUOUS BULLETS into him.

                         DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
              Four.   Three. Stupid. Worth it.

    The SILVER-HELMETED MOTORCYCLE RIDER makes another pass,
    FIRING. Deadpool ducks behind the S.U.V. again.

    20 yards away, a GROUP of thugs TAKE COVER behind the final
    S.U.V. One pulls out a HAND-GRENADE, RAISES HIS ARM to
    throw.

                        DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                  (chuckles)
              Number two...

    Deadpool FIRES, SHOOTING the GRENADE in the thug's FIST.
    BOOM! The whole CLUSTER of THUGS drops.

    Deadpool emerges from behind the S.U.V., feeling victorious.

    He approaches the final S.U.V. and throws open the doors to
    search, expecting to find his target at last.

    Inside is a rumpled orange prison coverall, but NOT the
    PRISONER. Deadpool gets childishly angry.


                                                               (CONTINUED)
                                                                    14.
               Deadpool     Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
9   CONTINUED: (3)                                                        9

                        DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
              What the shit-biscuit! Where you at,
              Francis?

    Worse, CLICK-CLACK.    The distinctive COCKING of SHOTGUNS.

    3 final THUGS stand on the freeway, lined up perpendicular to
    Deadpool, SHOULDER-TO-SHOULDER, FIRING BENELLI COMBAT
    SHOTGUNS.    BAM! BAM! BAM!

    Deadpool ducks behind the S.U.V. and raises a PISTOL. We
    ZOOM IN through the CHAMBER to spy the last BULLET, POISED in
    front of the FIRING PIN:

    `00001'

    Deadpool thinks, then LEAPS from behind the `SCLADE, TWISTS
    forward and right.

    All 3 THUGS FIRE again.    BUCKSHOT rips into DEADPOOL's BACK.

    But he LANDS so that all 3 men are now parallel to him...

    ...in A SINGLE-FILE LINE.

                           DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
              One.

    BOOM! We're with the FINAL BULLET as it HURTLES from the gun
    and passes THROUGH the first man's head... then the SECOND
    man's head... and SMACKS the third man in the forehead.

    This third man, the BIGGEST THUG YET, HITS the DECK.

    Deadpool puts his mouth to his pistol barrel, INHALES... and
    then EXHALES smoke through the pores of his mask.

                        DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
              I'm touching myself tonight.

    But then, as if by magic, the third thug STIRS... and STANDS.

    The SLUG has LODGED partway in his FOREHEAD, having lost just
    enough momentum that it didn't make it all the way through.

    The thug sneers, plucks out the slug, wipes away some blood,
    and rolls up his SLEEVES.

                           DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
              Really?     Rolling up the sleeves?

    Deadpool reaches back.    We hear the THRILLING SOUND...



                                                               (CONTINUED)
                                                                       15.
                 Deadpool    Final Shooting Script     11/16/15
9    CONTINUED: (4)                                                          9

     ...of STEEL BLADES being DRAWN. Out come Deadpool's
     TRADEMARK KATANAS. The thug's eyes widen as...

     ...SWOOSH... the blades swing through the air and SKEWER him,
     between two different ribs and out the BACK.

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                I know what you're thinking...

     The action SLOWS again to a FREEZE.      Deadpool is in mid-
     slice, muscles bulging.

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                I'll bet he works out. So what if I am
                pulling the double shift at the ab-
                factory? What if I do want my man menu
                to feature the shredded beef? Call it
                insecurity. But I haven't touched a carb
                since...

10   INT.   FOYER, TOWNHOUSE - NIGHT - PAST                                  10

     Title:   6 Years Ago

     A sleazy, mid-thirties MAN, GAVIN MERCHANT, decked out in
     DRAGON PRINT V-NECK and STUDDED JEANS, is MID-ARGUMENT with a
     late teen, pimply-faced PIZZA DELIVERY GUY, whose name-tag
     reads: JEREMY.

                          MERCHANT
                Will it help if I slow down?         I didn't.
                Order. The pizza.

                          JEREMY
                This 7348 Red Ledge Drive?
                    (off nod)
                And you're... Mr. Merchant?

                          MERCHANT
                The Mr. Merchant who didn't.         Order.
                The. Fucking. Pie.

                          JEREMY
                Then who placed the call?

     A TOILET flushes in another room, and both men turn.

                            WADE (O.S.)
                I did.




                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                       16.
                   Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
10   CONTINUED:                                                              10

     The VOICE comes from over Merchant's shoulder. WADE WILSON
     (the future DEADPOOL, MINUS the SCARS and SUIT), handsome,
     boyish, cheerily steps from through a doorway and into the
     living room wiping his hands on a towel.

     Merchant STARES, incredulous.

                            WADE (CONT'D)
                  Pineapple and olive?

     Jeremy NODS.

                            WADE (CONT'D)
                  Sweet and salty.

                            MERCHANT
                  The fuck are you? And what are you doing
                  in my crib?!

     Without even turning toward Merchant, Wade PULLS OUT A .50
     CALIBER DESERT EAGLE PISTOL and nonchalantly AIMS it at him.
     Merchant and Jeremy both go pale.

                            WADE
                      (to Jeremy)
                  Burnt crust?

                            JEREMY
                  God I hope not.
                      (opens the box, winces)
                  Words cannot express-

                            WADE
                  Relax, son, that's hows I likes it!      Once
                  you go black, you never go back!
                      (takes pizza)

                            MERCHANT
                      (stammering)
                  This is about the poker game, right? I
                  told Howie... Listen, take whatever you
                  want!

     Merchant fumbles with his wallet and starts to hand Wade the
     bills inside. Wade takes the ENTIRE WALLET instead.

                              WADE
                  Thanks!

                            JEREMY
                      (to Wade)
                  Uh. Sir? Before you do anything to him.
                  Could I have a big tip?


                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                      17.
                Deadpool    Final Shooting Script     11/16/15
10   CONTINUED: (2)                                                         10

                         WADE
                   (already munching)
               Jeremy, is it?

                           JEREMY
               Yeah.

                         WADE
               Wade Wilson.
                   (quick fist bump)
               Jeremy, that's a no go on the tiperoo.
               I'm not here for him.
                   (levels gun at Jeremy)
               I'm here for you.

     Jeremy's eyes widen. Wade holds up a YELLOW CARD, featuring
     an embedded SIM. Below the logo of a CYPRESS TREE is the
     name of Wade's intended target: `GARRETT, JEREMY.'

     Merchant breathes a sigh of relief.

                         MERCHANT
               Dodged a big time bullet on that o-

     Wade PISTOL-PUNCHES/POKES Merchant in the forehead.           Merchant
     howls.

                         WADE
                   (re: studded jeans)
               Not out of the woods yet. You need to
               seriously ease up on the bedazzling.
               They're jeans, not a chandelier.
                   (sniffs)
               And the Axe body spray.

                         JEREMY
                   (sheepish)
               That's unfortunately me.

                         WADE
               PS, I'm keeping your wallet.         Ya did
               kinda give it to me...

                         MERCHANT
               Can I at least have my Sam's Club card
               baaa-

     Wade points the pistol at Merchant again, sending him
     backpedaling into a chair.

                         WADE
               I will shoot your fucking cat.



                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                     18.
                Deadpool     Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
10   CONTINUED: (3)                                                        10

                         MERCHANT
               I don't have a cat!

                         WADE
               Then whose kitty-litter did I just shit
               in?
                   (turns to Jeremy)
               Anyhoo, you by chance know a Meghan
               Orlovsky? Getting that right? Orlovsky?
               Orloskvy? Do you?

     Jeremy manages a timid little NOD.

                          WADE (CONT'D)
               Good.   `Cause she knows you.

     Wade holsters the pistol and WHIPS out a HUNTING KNIFE. He
     twirls it adeptly... but instead of holding it to Jeremy's
     neck... CUTS himself a SLICE of PIZZA.

                         WADE (CONT'D)
               What situation isn't improved by pizza?

     Wade shovels half the slice into his mouth, revealing an Army
     SPECIAL FORCES TATTOO on his forearm: A SKULL WEARING A
     GREEN BERET, BACKED BY A BLADE, AND THE WORDS `DE OPPRESSO
     LIBER' (official motto of the U.S. Army Special Forces).

                         WADE (CONT'D)
                   (through chews)
               Jeremy, I belong to a group of guys who
               take a dime to beat a fella down.
                   (cuts another pizza slice)
               Little Meghan's not made of money, but
               lucky her, I've got a soft spot.

     Wade brings the next pizza slice over to Merchant. Wade
     nearly hands it to him but lets go too soon. The slice falls
     flat - pineapple down - onto the floor at Merchant's feet.

                            JEREMY
               B-but I'm-

                         WADE
                   (returns to Jeremy)
               A stalker. Threats hurt, Jer. Though
               not nearly as bad as serrated steel.

     Wade pokes the end of his knife into Jeremy's chest, pinning
     him against the wall.

                         WADE (CONT'D)
               So keep away from Meghan.       We cool?


                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                       19.
                 Deadpool    Final Shooting Script     11/16/15
10   CONTINUED: (4)                                                          10

                            JEREMY
                Y-yeah.

     A beat. In a huge ANTI-CLIMAX, Wade deftly twirls his knife
     AWAY from Jeremy's chest, SPINS it on his finger, and JAMS it
     back into its SLEEVE.

                          WADE
                Then we're done.

                            JEREMY
                W-we are?

                          WADE
                Soft spot, remember? But even look in
                her general direction again? You'll
                learn in the worst of ways.
                    (pats Jeremy's cheek)
                I've got some hard spots too.
                    (pauses)
                That came out wrong. Or did it?

11   EXT.   SKATE PARK - NIGHT - PAST                                        11

     SKATE PUNKS carve on ramps built into the sides of a highway
     underpass. A group of TEEN GIRLS are perched at the bottom
     of the nearby stairs, texting each other from inches away.
     An old-fashioned GHETTO BLASTER bangs `SHOOP.'

                          SALT & PEPA
                I love you in your big jeans.

                          GIRLS
                    (join chorus)
                You give me nice dreams.     You make me
                wanna scream...

     Boom. A PIZZA BOX lands at their feet.          On top of it lands a
     POLAROID PICTURE.

                          WADE (O.S.)
                "Oooo, oooo, oooo!"

     A FRIZZY-HAIRED EMO GIRL picks up the Polaroid... of a
     terrified JEREMY holding another pizza box that has been cut
     into a heart, the words `I'm Sorry' scrawled onto it, a PEE-
     STAIN on his JEANS, and a laughing WADE photo-bombing with
     the knife to his neck. She looks UP to see:

     Wade bobbing to the music.

                          WADE (CONT'D)
                You've seen the last of Jeremy.


                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                        20.
                    Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
11    CONTINUED:                                                              11

      The girl - MEGHAN ORLOVSKY - leaps up and HUGS Wade tight.

                             WADE (CONT'D)
                   That's why we do it.

                             GIRL #2
                   Hey, think you could fuck up my step-dad?

                             GIRL #3
                   How `bout Vice Principal Renwiki?

                             WADE
                       (suddenly serious)
                   What'd he do to you?

                             GIRL #3
                   Suspended me for smoking.

                             WADE
                       (turns to go)
                   Good for him! Sorry, ladies. Me no dig
                   cigs. And I may look mean. But if I
                   give a guy a pavement facial? He earned
                   it.

      Wade gives Meghan a smile, turns to leave.

                              MEGHAN
                   Hey.   Thanks. You're my hero.

      The word catches Wade like a punch to the gut.         Hero?

                             WADE
                   That I ain't.

      Wade doesn't turn back, walking through the swooping skaters.

A12   EXT.   SISTER MARGARET'S - NIGHT - PAST                                 A12

      A grimy SIGN on a grimier brick building reads:         `SISTER
      MARGARET'S SCHOOL FOR WAYWARD GIRLS.'

12    INT.   SISTER MARGARET'S - NIGHT - PAST                                 12

      Inside, society's DREGS. Chief among them, BOOTHE: a HUGE,
      menacing hipster with a BOY SCOUT CAP and MASSIVE HANDLEBAR
      MOUSTACHE. He's got some DUDE's fingers splayed out on the
      bar, jabbing a KNIFE POINT between them as fast as he can.

      WADE shimmies past, backslaps BOOTHE:

                               WADE
                   Boothe!


                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                      21.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
12   CONTINUED:                                                             12

                            BOOTHE
                      (turns, smiles)
                  Heya, Wade!

     We hear a STAB and a SCREAM.

     Wade winces as he continues on to the BAR, claims a STOOL and
     waves over the lone bartender - WEASEL, early 20's, geeky,
     glasses. Think Tom Cruise in `Cocktail.' Then think the
     opposite.

                            WEASEL
                  Wade Wilson, Patron Saint of the Pitiful.
                  What can I get you?

                            WADE
                  I'd love a blow-job.

                            WEASEL
                  We got that in common.

                            WADE
                  The drink, moose-knuckle.     But first...

     Wade digs in a pocket, slaps the YELLOW `HIT' CARD, the one
     with the CYPRESS TREE, on the bar.

     Weasel goes to the register. Scans the card. Peels off
     three ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS. Lays them out like a bank
     teller. Wade PUSHES the MONEY AWAY...

                            WADE (CONT'D)
                  I ain't taking allowance money. Make
                  sure it gets back to Ms. Osflorsky?
                  Onroflensky? Olly-Olly-Oxen-Free?

                            WEASEL
                  Orlofsky. For a merc, you sure are warm-
                  blooded. Bet you let the boy off easy-
                  peasy, too.

                            WADE
                      (embarrassed)
                  He's not a bad kid, Weas. Just a little
                  light stalking. I was way worse at his
                  age- traveling to far-off places -
                  Baghdad, Mogadishu, Jacksonville -
                      (shudders)
                  - meeting new and exciting people -




                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                     22.
                Deadpool    Final Shooting Script    11/16/15
12   CONTINUED: (2)                                                        12

                         WEASEL
               And killing them. I've seen your
               Instagram. What was Special Forces doing
               in Jacksonville, anyway?

                         WADE
               Classified.
                   (whispers)
               They have a wonderful TGIFridays. Those
               guys know their way around a Loaded
               Potato Skin. The point is, I'm trying to
               put those days in my rear-view.

     Weasel puts the finishing touches on the drink, pushes it
     across the bar to Wade.

                         WEASEL
               Kahlua, Bailey's, whip cream.        Fellatio
               in a glass.

     A burst of laughter turns Wade's attention to BUCK, a BAD-ASS
     in a snakeskin jacket, has a crowd gathered round him, mid-
     story. He too is holding a YELLOW CARD with SIM and CYPRESS
     TREE.

                         BUCK
               So he's staring at my Glock in his mouth,
               like...
                   (mouth full)
               `I thought you guys had a code!' And I'm
               like, `Yeah, no kids. No women. Almost
               fooled by your tits. But the moustache?!

     The crowd CRACKS UP.

     Wade pulls out Gavin Merchant's wallet and teases out a
     TWENTY. He grabs a passing waitress, tucks the bill in her
     shirt pocket and sets the blowjob on her tray.

                         WADE
               Kelly, you mind taking this over to Buck?
               Tell him it's from Boothe.
                   (whispers, to Weasel)
               Little foreplay.

     Weasel follows Wade's gaze to the end of the bar, where a
     chuckling BOOTHE wraps a bandage around the guy's bloody
     hand.

                         WEASEL
               Remind me what good comes of this?




                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                      23.
                Deadpool      Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
12   CONTINUED: (3)                                                         12

                         WADE
               I don't take the shits.       I just disturb
               them.

     Weasel allows himself a tiny conspiratorial SMILE.

                                                         SMASH CUT TO:

13   INT. SISTER MARGARET'S - NIGHT                                         13

     WADE, in medium shot, TEARING UP at the famous Steven Seagal
     bar fight from `OUT FOR JUSTICE' on T.V. as... SMACK...
     BAM... a REAL bar fight goes on - OUT OF FOCUS - behind him.

                         WADE
                   (trailer voice)
               It's a dirty job... but someone's gotta
               take out the garbage.

     Wade finally turns around to watch. BUCK finishes off
     Boothe... then pours the BLOW-JOB on top of him.

     WEASEL grabs a hand mirror, hops over the bar, and crosses to
     Boothe. All the PATRONS fall HUSH as WEASEL holds the mirror
     to Boothe's mouth. Boothe's BREATH FOGS it up.

                         WEASEL
               Still kicking.

     The place `oooooohs.' Near miss. Weasel returns to his
     place behind the bar, looking disappointed.

                         WADE
               Lemme guess. Ya got Boothe in Sister
               Margaret's dead pool.

                             WEASEL
               Um.    See.    About that-

                         WADE
               You did not bet on me to die.
                   (looks up at board,
                    incredulous)
               You bet on me to die.

     Wade leans back and looks up at an ENORMOUS CHALKBOARD
     hanging above the bar: `Sister Margaret's DEAD POOL.'
     Below, a long LIST of NAMES. DOLLAR AMOUNTS to the right of
     the names. More NAMES to the right of the dollars.

     Indeed, `WEASEL' has chosen `WADE.'       Wade looks betrayed.




                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                       24.
                   Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
13   CONTINUED:                                                              13

                            WADE (CONT'D)
                  Weasel, you're the world's worst friend.
                  Joke's on you. I'm living to 102. Like
                  those old Quaker biddies on the Today
                  Show. And retiring on my winnings.

                            WEASEL
                  Wait, who did you pick?

     Weasel looks up a the board, where `WADE' has claimed:
     `BIEBER, J.'

                            WADE
                  The Biebs. But I'm probably wrong.
                  Nothing bad ever happens to teen stars
                  who make 80 mil a year and think they're
                  immune to the pitfalls of addiction and
                  consequence. He'll be fine.
                      (raises shot, yells)
                  Drinks on me, soldiers of fortune!

                              MERCENARIES
                  Hooah!

                            VANESSA
                  Whoa, whoa...

     Wade turns to see a woman on his other side: VANESSA.
     Brunette. Silver-blue eyes. Tank. Tiny jean-shorts.

                            VANESSA (CONT'D)
                  Sure you wanna shoot your whole wad?

     Wade looks Vanessa all the way up and down... then holds up
     his PINKIE.

                              WADE
                  Tight.

     Vanessa raises her own pinkie.         Shakes like a pinkie swear.

                              VANESSA
                  Vanessa.

                            WADE
                  What's a nice place like you doing in a
                  girl like this?

                            BUCK (O.S.)
                  It ain't what she's doing, it's who.

     BUCK walks past and SLAPS Vanessa on the caboose.



                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                    25.
                Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
13   CONTINUED: (2)                                                       13

                         BUCK (CONT'D)
               I'd hit that shit.

     Wade pushes back his stool, stands menacingly.

                         WADE
               Buck, you'd best apologize, before-

     But Vanessa doesn't wait for Wade's chivalry. She blows
     right by him and grabs a fistful of Buck's crotch. Buck
     gasps.

                         WADE (CONT'D)
               Yeah, that.

                         VANESSA
                   (to Buck)
               Say the magic words, Fat Gandalf.

                         BUCK
               I'm sorry! I have no filter between my
               brain and mouth. I'm working on it.

     Wade takes Vanessa's shoulders.

                         WADE
               OK, he apologized... hakuna his tatas...

     Vanessa lets Buck go, turns on Wade.

                         VANESSA
                   (let's go)
               And you-
                   (shakes Wade off)
               Hands off the merchandise.

                         WADE
               Merchandise? So, what, you, uh, bump
               fuzzies for money?

                           VANESSA
               Yup.

                         WADE
               Rough childhood?

                         VANESSA
               Rougher than yours.     Daddy left before I
               was born.

                         WADE
               Daddy left before I was conceived.



                                                               (CONTINUED)
                                                                     26.
                Deadpool     Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
13   CONTINUED: (3)                                                        13

                         VANESSA
               Ever had a cigarette put out on your
               skin?

                         WADE
               I didn't know there was any other place
               to put one out.

                         VANESSA
               I was molested.

                            WADE
               Me too.     Uncle.

                            VANESSA
               Uncles.     They took turns.

                         WADE
               I watched my own birthday party from the
               keyhole of a locked closet, which was
               also my-

                           VANESSA
               Bedroom?    Lucky. I slept in a dishwasher
               box.

                         WADE
               So you had a dishwasher. I didn't know
               sleep. It was pretty much 24-7 of ball
               gags, brownie mix, and fun-house mirrors.

                         VANESSA
               Who would do such a thing?

                          WADE
               Hopefully you. Later tonight.
                   (beat)
               And my Uncle Kevin.

     Wade EMPTIES the rest of Gavin's wallet:

                         WADE (CONT'D)
               What can I get for two-hundred-seventy
               three bucks... and a Yogurtland rewards
               card?

     Vanessa shoves the bills into her halter:

                         VANESSA
               About forty-eight minutes of whatever you
               want...
                   (peers at card)
               And a low-fat dessert.


                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                       27.
                 Deadpool     Final Shooting Script    11/16/15
13   CONTINUED: (4)                                                          13

     Wade grins at her like a kid on Christmas morning.

14   INT.   ARCADE - NIGHT - PAST                                            14

     A two-shot of WADE and VANESSA staring at each other, in
     profile. Wade looks really excited.

                          WADE
                Time to put balls... in holes.

     REVERSE ANGLE to reveal two SKEEBALL MACHINES in the ARCADE.
     Wade inserts tokens, and balls CLUNK down.

     Vanessa looks half amused, half weirded out.

                          WADE (CONT'D)
                You said whatever I want.

                          VANESSA
                I get it. You love skeeball.          Apparently
                more than you love vagina.

                          WADE
                Tough call. Just trying to get to know
                the real you... not the plunging-
                necklined, short-shorted, two-dimensional
                sex object peddled by Hollywood.

     Wade slowly turns to CAMERA.      REVERSE ANGLE TO his P.O.V.:

     A ten-year-old BOY stops in his tracks, his gaze moving from
     Vanessa's plunging neckline to her short shorts.

                             BOY
                Nice tits!

                          VANESSA
                Thank you, son.
                    (tousles boy's hair)
                You know how to make a woman feel
                special.

     Vanessa reaches down, grabs two balls, hands one to Wade.

                          VANESSA (CONT'D)
                Balls in holes.

                          WADE
                Prepare to lose tragically.

                          VANESSA
                Bring it, big man.



                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                       28.
                   Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
14   CONTINUED:                                                              14

     Wade smiles slyly, sizes up the ramp, rears back and
     OVERHANDS the first ball... right into the 50,000 CUP.

                              VANESSA (CONT'D)
                  Ruh-roh.

15   INT.   ARCADE PRIZE COUNTER - LATER - PAST                              15

     A beaming WADE bellies up to the prize counter and lays a
     massive armful of pink TICKETS on top.

                            WADE
                  The limited edition Voltron: Defender of
                  the Universe ring, por favor.

                             TEEN
                  You're roughly three hundred thousand
                  tickets short.
                      (beat)
                  It's nickel-silver-plated.

                            WADE
                      (disappointed)
                  Then I guess the tire-grade rubber
                  Voltron keychain.

     VANESSA places a measly TEN tickets of her own next to them.

                            VANESSA
                  And the... pencil eraser.

     The weary TEEN behind the counter hands Wade the low-rent
     VOLTRON KEYCHAIN, and Vanessa the eraser.

                            TEEN
                      (reads keychain package
                       copy, bows)
                  You are now the sworn protector of the
                  gentle people of the planet Arus...
                      (re: eraser, positive
                       spin:)
                  And you... you can... erase stuff...
                  written in pencil.

     Wade extends his arm chivalrously:

                              WADE
                  M'lady?

                            VANESSA
                  Unfortunately, my anus-loving friend,
                  your forty-eight minutes are up.



                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                       29.
                   Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
15   CONTINUED:                                                              15

                            WADE
                  Arus. And you're more evil than evil
                  King Zarkon himself.

     Wade rubs his keychain wistfully, then offers it up.

                            WADE (CONT'D)
                  How many more minutes for this?
                      (hard sell)
                  FYI. Five mini lion-bots come together
                  to make up the super-bot.

                            VANESSA
                      (faux-excited)
                  Five mini lion-bots?!
                      (matter-of-fact)
                  Three minutes.

                            WADE
                      (gives keychain up)
                  That's all I'll need!

     ALT:

                            WADE
                  What do we do with the remaining two
                  minutes thirty seven seconds?

                              VANESSA
                  Cuddle?

     Vanessa smiles and takes Wade's arm.        They walk out of the
     ARCADE affectionately...

     ...to the SOUNDS OF TIRELESS, ATHLETIC SEX.

16   EXT./INT.    WADE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - PAST                            16

                            VANESSA (O.S.)
                  How long can you keep this up?

     DUCT TAPE fails to cover a big multi-fissured CRACK in the
     WINDOW of Wade's CRAPPY APARTMENT. Inside, WADE has VANESSA
     up against the wall decorated with CHRISTMAS LIGHTS that have
     overstayed their welcome and a CALENDAR. They are going at
     it like RABBITS.

                            WADE
                      (raises eyebrow)
                  All year?




                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                      30.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
16   CONTINUED:                                                             16

     Dolly Parton's `HERE YOU COME AGAIN' kicks in, and we...

                                                        DISSOLVE INTO:

17   INT. WADE'S APARTMENT - DAY                                            17

     A MONTAGE of images: Fun, irreverent SEX around the CALENDAR
     between WADE and VANESSA, identified by various holidays.

     VALENTINE'S DAY SEX. WADE falls back onto a bed covered in
     rose petals with VANESSA on top of him. She has drawn a
     heart on his chest in red lipstick. They go at it hard...
     then pause for a romantic look and kiss.

                            VANESSA
                  Happy Valentine's Day...

     Then IMMEDIATELY go back to hard pounding.

                                                                  CUT TO:

     A medium shot of the top half of VANESSA. She is on hands
     and knees, rocking back and forth. WADE leans into frame
     from behind.

                            WADE
                  Happy Chinese New Year's...

                            VANESSA
                      (smiles)
                  Year of the Dog.

     They go at it even harder.

                                                         SMASH CUT TO:

     The same exact locked-off medium shot, only WADE is now on
     hands and knees. His expression betrays great stress.
     VANESSA leans into frame from behind.

                            VANESSA (CONT'D)
                  Relax... Happy International Women's
                  Day...

     Wade girds himself, then lets out a surprised, WHIMPERY YELP
     as some pioneering object journeys into his virgin lands.

                                                                  CUT TO:

     WADE in bed, legs wrapped around VANESSA's neck, being orally
     pleasured.




                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                      31.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
17   CONTINUED:                                                             17

                            WADE
                  Happy Fourth of July!

     We see FIREWORKS through the skylight above.

                                                                  CUT TO:

     WADE sitting in an arm-chair, fully dressed, reading glasses
     on, purusing a book. VANESSA is reading in a chair opposite,
     also wearing reading glasses.

                             VANESSA
                  Happy Yom Kippur...
                      (ALT:)
                  Happy Cesar Chavez Day...
                      (ALT:)
                  Happy Lent...
                      (ALT:)
                  Happy Lyme Disease Awareness Day...
                      (ALT:)
                  Happy Wednesday...

                                                                  CUT TO:

     VANESSA in bed where Wade last was. Now her legs are wrapped
     around HIS neck, and he's pleasuring her.

                            WADE
                      (muffled)
                  Happy Halloween...

                            VANESSA
                  Oo... ow...

                            WADE
                      (muffled)
                  Sorry.
                      (takes out Vampire teeth)
                  Happy Halloween...

     Wade goes back to work.

                                                                  CUT TO:

     WADE and VANESSA banging it out one last time, missionary
     style.

                             VANESSA
                  Happy Thanksgiving.
                      (ALT:)
                  Happy Wednesday.




                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                     32.
                 Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
17   CONTINUED: (2)                                                        17

     Cut WIDE to reveal that they're on top of the KITCHEN TABLE
     during THANKSGIVING DINNER. Wine spills, cranberry sauce
     topples, mashed potatoes launch. ALT: BREAKFAST FOOD
     INSTEAD.

     Nothing takes away from the joy of the moment.

18   INT.   WADE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - PAST                                18

     A CHRISTMAS WREATH hangs on Wade's wall.

                          WADE (O.S.)
                If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and
                your right leg is Christmas...

     WADE strikes a pose, HANDS on HIPS, wearing an AWFUL, AWFUL
     CHRISTMAS SWEATER. And NO PANTS.

     VANESSA sits against the bed's HEADBOARD, SHEET pulled over
     her, up to her chin. She quickly lowers the sheet.
     Revealing an APPALLING CHRISTMAS SWEATER of her own.

                          WADE (CONT'D)
                ...can I visit you between the holidays?

                          VANESSA
                Y'know, red's your color. Brings out the
                bloodshot in your eyes. Christmas gift!
                Catch!

     Vanessa tosses something to Wade.      It lands in his hands.

                          WADE
                Holy fucking shit.

     It's the nickel-silver-plated Voltron RING, all three hundred
     thousand tickets worth.

                          VANESSA
                Limited edition. I had to give the kid
                behind the counter a rub and tug. I'm
                kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm kidding.
                It was nearly five full months of
                Skeeball.

                          WADE
                    (beams)
                Y'know, I've been doing some thinking...

                            VANESSA
                Really.




                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                        33.
                   Deadpool     Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
18   CONTINUED:                                                               18

                            WADE
                  ...about why we're so good together.

                            VANESSA
                  Why's that?

                               WADE
                  Your crazy    matches my crazy. We're like
                  two jigsaw    pieces... weird curvy edges...
                  but fit us    together, you can see the
                  picture on    top.

     Wade plants a kiss on Vanessa.         She sits up on her knees.

                             VANESSA
                  Hey, I've been meaning to ask you, only
                  `cause you haven't gotten around to
                  asking me-
                      (pregnant pause)
                  Wade, will you-

            VANESSA (CONT'D)                              WADE
     Stick it in my-?                       Marry me?

                            VANESSA
                  Uhh... jinx?

     Wade reaches back and pulls out an ENGAGEMENT-RING-LIKE BOX.
     Vanessa can barely contain her excitement.

                            VANESSA (CONT'D)
                  You're not wearing pants. Where exactly
                  were you hiding that?

     A vulnerable Wade hands her the box and stands there with the
     look of... `Open it. Open it!'

                            WADE
                  They say one month's salary.

     Vanessa opens the box... to reveal a CANDY RING.

                            WADE (CONT'D)
                  Slow month. I've been waiting for this
                  day like Boss Hogg waits to get to the
                  crazy cheesy crust...

                               VANESSA
                  You mean-?

                               WADE
                  I do.



                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                    34.
                Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
18   CONTINUED: (2)                                                       18

                         VANESSA
               That's my line. I love you, Wade Wilson.

                         WADE
               Thought you charged extra for that.

                           VANESSA
               I did.    At my old job.

                         WADE
               So that's a-?

     Vanessa stares. Swallows. Pulls him back into bed and
     WHISPERS ONE SILENT WORD into his ear ('Yes'). Wade jumps up
     and DANCES around the room all goofy, POP, LOCK, & ROBOT.

                           VANESSA
               Easy.    I can take it back.

     Wade dives back into bed, SPOONS with Vanessa, wrapping her
     in his ARMS, touching his cheek to hers.

                         WADE
               What if I never let go?

                         VANESSA
               Just rode a bitch's back, like Yoda on
               Luke?

                         WADE
                   (contented sigh)
               `Star Wars' jokes?!

                         VANESSA
                   (corrects)
               `Empire.'

                         WADE
               It's like I made you in a computer.

     Wade swoons, reaches, grabs a POLAROID CAMERA off his night-
     stand, and holds it at arm's length.

                         WADE (CONT'D)
                   (Yoda voice)
               Cheese, say!

     The flash POPS.    For this one moment, his life is...

                           WADE (CONT'D)
               Perfect.

     Wade hands Vanessa the photo.    Then...


                                                               (CONTINUED)
                                                                      35.
                 Deadpool     Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
18   CONTINUED: (3)                                                         18

                             WADE (CONT'D)
                Wee break.

     ...bounces up to go to the BATHROOM. Vanessa gazes at the
     photo, which is already FADING IN. Wade notices.

                          WADE (CONT'D)
                Shake it like a- Uh. You get it.

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                Here's the thing. Life is an endless
                series of train-wrecks with only brief,
                commercial-like breaks of happiness.
                This had been the ultimate commercial
                break. Which meant it was time to
                return...

     Wade peels off his Christmas sweater... and STEPS CONFIDENTLY
     BACK TOWARD THE BED. But before he gets there...

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                ...to our regularly scheduled program.

     ...HE PASSES OUT, FACE-PLANTING ONTO THE FLOOR.

19   INT.   ONCOLOGY WARD - DAY - PAST                                      19

     WADE is sitting in a doctor's office, VANESSA by his side,
     opposite a solemn ONCOLOGIST. Every image suggests BAD NEWS:

     A COMPLEX looking MRI IMAGE of the CIRCULATORY SYSTEM on a
     BACKLIT VIEWING TABLE. SWEAT STAINS under Wade's arms.
     Vanessa GRIPPING his hand. The LOOK on the DOCTOR's FACE.

                          WADE
                You're clowning.     You're not clowning?        I
                sense clowns.

                          DOCTOR
                People react to news of late-stage cancer
                differently.

     Wade and Vanessa turn and share a devastated but loving look.

                          VANESSA
                    (to doctor, springs into
                     action)
                So what do we do? Surely there's
                something... we can... do. I mean, my
                uncle, he was diagnosed with thyroid
                cancer, and there was this new
                experimental drug that-



                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                      36.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
19   CONTINUED:                                                             19

     The VOLUME of Vanessa's voice FADES until we can SEE her
     talking but no longer hear the words:

                            DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                  See, people do react differently.
                  Vanessa's already working on Plan A. B.
                  All the way to Z. Me? I'm memorizing
                  the details of her face. Like it's the
                  first time I'm seeing it. Or the last.

                            DOCTOR (O.S.)
                  Mr. Wilson?

                            DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                  Believe it or not, this is only the ninth
                  shittiest thing that's ever happened to
                  me.

                            DOCTOR (O.S.)
                  Mr. Wilson?

                            DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                  Stick around. Number 6 is coming right
                  up.

                            DOCTOR
                  Take your time to process this.

20   EXT.   FREEWAY - DAY                                                   20

     DEADPOOL HAS AJAX PINNED TO THE FREEWAY RAIL.

                            DEADPOOL
                  You know how many people I've killed to
                  find you?

                            AJAX
                  Actually, I do.

                             DEADPOOL
                  So you're aware I've been waiting a long,
                  long time for this. And now I'm finally
                  gonna...
                      (ALT:)
                  So you're aware of the category 5 fuck-
                  storm that's coming.
                      (ALT:)
                  Then you know what's coming. I'm about
                  to do to you what Sugar Ray did to the
                  mid-nineties.

     A massive SHADOW passes over AJAX and DEADPOOL, accompanied
     by LOUD METALLIC FOOTSTEPS. Ajax looks up, a bit awed.


                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                       37.
                   Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
20   CONTINUED:                                                              20

     Deadpool senses something, reaches back with one hand,
     feels...

     ...what turns out to be Colossus's METALLIC CROTCH.

                              DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                  Dad?

     COLOSSUS GRABS Deadpool's WRIST, CHUCKS him THROUGH the AIR,
     ASS OVER TEAKETTLE.

21   INT.   WADE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - LATER - PAST                          21

     A CLOSE-UP of a Deadpool ACTION FIGURE from `X-Men Origins.'
     Mouth sewn shut. Blades implanted into wrists.

     In the exact same POSE we just saw the real Deadpool.
     Sitting in a nightstand DRAWER in Wade's apartment.

                            WADE (O.S.)
                  This is my most prized possession.

     Wade looks like he's reaching into the drawer for the action
     figure, but instead, reaches just UNDER it to grasp Wham!'s
     `Make it Big' album on Vinyl. He pulls out the album.

                              VANESSA
                  Wham?

                            WADE
                  Wham!
                      (cradles album lovingly)
                  `Make it Big' was the album George and
                  Andy earned their exclamation point.

     Wade places the album carefully into one of two OPEN
     SUITCASES on the floor next to him. He is currently going
     through his possessions, TOSSING OUT the crap and placing the
     good stuff into the suitcases.

     Wade pulls out the action figure.

                            WADE (CONT'D)
                  But this. A little piece of me died the
                  day this came out...

     Wade DUNKS the action figure in the trash can.         VANESSA
     stands opposite, arms crossed, FUMING.

                            VANESSA
                  So I'm s'posed to just... smile and wave
                  you out the door?



                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                      38.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
21   CONTINUED:                                                             21

                            WADE
                  Think of it as a spring cleaning. Only
                  if spring was death.
                      (pulls out BERNADETTE PETERS
                       CHANGE PURSE)
                  If I had a nickel for every time I
                  spanked it to Bernadette Peters.
                      (opens purse, it's full of
                       nickels)
                  Looks like I do.

     Wade TOSSES the purse toward one of the suitcases.           Vanessa's
     hand stabs out and GRABS it.

                            VANESSA
                  Bernadette's not going anywhere.
                      (slam-dunks purse back into
                       drawer)
                  `Cause you're not going anywhere.

                            WADE
                  Right! The tumors are only in my liver,
                  lungs, prostate, and brain. All the
                  things you can live without.

                            VANESSA
                  You know what I mean. You belong here at
                  home. Surrounded by your Voltron... and
                  your Bernadette... and your me.

                            WADE
                  Babe, we've been through this! Cancer's
                  a real shit-show. A Yakov-Smirnoff-
                  opening-for-the-Spin-Doctors-at-the-Iowa-
                  State-Fair shit-show. And under no
                  circumstances will I take you to that
                  show. I want you to remember me me.

                            VANESSA
                  Well, I want to remember us us.
                      (that doesn't sound right)
                  We we?

                            WADE
                  I swear, I'll find you in the next life.
                  And boom-box `Careless Whisper' under
                  your window. Wham!

                            VANESSA
                  Are you gonna keep saying it like that?
                  Look, I get this impulse. I do.
                            (MORE)



                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                     39.
                 Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
21   CONTINUED: (2)                                                        21
                          VANESSA (CONT'D)
                Before I met you, I used to fantasize
                about dying alone in the woods, torn
                apart by wolves.

                          WADE
                Super fucking bad-ass.

                          VANESSA
                But that was then, and this is now. Walk
                out that door. I dare you. I will ride
                you out. And I won't let go. Yoda on
                Luke.

     Vanessa embraces Wade. Tight.        Won't let go.   A TEAR
     trickles down Vanessa's CHEEK.

                          VANESSA (CONT'D)
                    (into Wade's ear)
                If you're willing to fight. There are
                still options. We'll find them.
                Together.

                          WADE
                    (smiles)
                I just realized! I win! My life's
                officially more fucked-up than yours.

                          VANESSA
                No one's boom-boxing shit.

     Vanessa interlaces her pinkie with Wade's.      Smiles.

                          VANESSA (CONT'D)
                What do we we have to lose?

                            WADE
                Nothing.    Everything.

     Vanessa leans in, and the two start to KISS.

22   INT.   BEDROOM - NIGHT - PAST                                         22

     VANESSA, horizontal, limbs akimbo, ASLEEP in bed.          She stirs,
     feels next to her for Wade. He's NOT THERE.

     REVEAL WADE standing at the bedroom window. His P.O.V. of
     the moon makes it look FRACTURED by the cracked glass.

     RACK FOCUS to Vanessa's REFLECTION. She, too, looks
     fractured. Wade's eyes well with TEARS at the sight of her.
     Cancer will steal the one thing that ever mattered.

     Vanessa's cracked reflection suddenly RAISES its HEAD.


                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                        40.
                     Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
22     CONTINUED:                                                             22

                              WADE
                    Sorry. Liam Neeson nightmare. I
                    kidnapped his daughter, and he just
                    wasn't having it.

       Wade slides back into bed.

                              WADE (CONT'D)
                    They've made three of those movies. At
                    some point you wonder if he's just a bad
                    parent.

       Wade lies on his back. Vanessa nestles her head lovingly
       against his chest. He takes a vulnerable look at her, then
       stares at the ceiling, LOST.

RS22   INT.   APARTMENT - NIGHT                                           RS22

       Wade slips quietly out of bed...

       ...slips on a hoodie and a backpack...

       ...opens the door... takes one last longing look at
       Vanessa...

       ...and slips into the hallway, closing the door behind him.

       Vanessa is left to feel for Wade in the dark.

A22    EXT.   STREET - NIGHT                                                  A22

       WADE walks down the street into the night.

       He pulls a crumpled card from his jacket pocket:        the black
       card with the recruiter's number.

       Still walking, Wade pulls out a cellphone and dials.

23     INT.   SISTER MARGARET'S - NIGHT - PAST                                23

       Just another night at SISTER MARGARET'S WAYWARD SCHOOL FOR
       GIRLS. Regular crowd has shuffled in. Tonight, a bit thin.

       WADE is bellied up to the bar, disheveled, unkempt, and
       distraught. WEASEL leans in:

                              WEASEL
                    Jesus. Someone needs a blow-job and a
                    shower. Though courtesy calls for the
                    latter first.




                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                     41.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
23   CONTINUED:                                                            23

                            WADE
                  Three shots of Patron Silver, Weez.     And
                  a cure to terminal cancer.

                            WEASEL
                      (hands over a green
                       concoction)
                  Fresh out of Patron. Wheatgrass?

                            WADE
                  You're starting to sound like Vanessa...

     With SHAKY HANDS, Wade empties his POCKETS, placing CRUMPLED
     BROCHURES on the bar.

                            WADE (CONT'D)
                  She sent away for all these colorful
                  clinic brochures. I hear Chechnya's nice
                  this time of... never. Then there's
                  China... Central Mexico... Know how they
                  say `Cancer' in Spanish? ¡El Cáncer.'

     Wade pulls out one last thing from his pockets: A POLAROID
     of HIMSELF and VANESSA. He stares. Weasel notices.

                            WEASEL
                  This belongs on the wall. I want to
                  remember you when you looked... alive.

     Wade scrapes up a smile as Weasel tapes the picture to the
     BIG BAR MIRROR. Weasel pours a second wheatgrass shot.
     Clinks Wade's glass. They throw them back. WINCE.

                            WEASEL (CONT'D)
                  Almost forgot...

     Weasel slides Wade a distinctive black BUSINESS CARD across
     the bartop.

                            WEASEL (CONT'D)
                  Guy came in asking for you.     Real Grim
                  Reaper type.

     Wade's gaze follows Weasel's gesture across the barroom,
     where an ominous MAN in a BLACK SUIT sits ALONE at a table.

                            WEASEL (CONT'D)
                  I don't know? May further the plot?

                                                                 CUT TO:
                                                                      42.
                  Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15



23A   INT.   SISTER'S MARGARET'S - NIGHT - PAST                             23A

      WADE dead-man-walks to the back of the bar. He passes BOOTHE
      and BEEF on his way. They nod solemnly, like cops at a
      funeral procession honoring one of their own.

                             BEEF
                 Wade.

      Beef offers Wade his shot. Wade eeks out a smile. Throws it
      back. Then continues on. Wade stops next to the MAN's
      TABLE.

                           WADE
                 Forget your scythe?

      The man, even creepier from close up, SMILES.

                           RECRUITER
                 Mr. Wilson. Have a seat.
                     (Wade sits, long pause)
                 I understand you've recently been
                 diagnosed with terminal cancer.

                           WADE
                 Stalker alert.

                           RECRUITER
                 It's my job. Recruitment. And you have
                 quite a reputation. I'm sorry you've had
                 a tough go. But you're a fighter. And
                 not just for Johnny Canuck, impressive as
                 your stint in special forces was. Forty-
                 one confirmed kills?

                           WADE
                     (bitter)
                 One every seven weeks.     Same rate most
                 folks get a hair-cut.

      Wade grabs the recruiter's drink and throws it back.

                           WADE (CONT'D)
                 To wash the taste out. It's hard to
                 forget being so... impressive.

                           RECRUITER
                 Now you spend your days sticking up for
                 the little man, slitting small time
                 throats for small time folks.

                           WADE
                 People change.


                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                       43.
                    Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
23A   CONTINUED:                                                          23A

      The recruiter leans uncomfortably close.

                             RECRUITER
                       (low, conspiratorial)
                   Speaking of which... Mr. Wilson, I
                   represent an organization that may be
                   able to help. What if I told you we can
                   cure your cancer? And what's more, give
                   you abilities most men only dream of?

                             WADE
                   I'd say you sound like an infomercial.
                   And not a good infomercial, like Slap
                   Chop. More Shake-Weighty.
                       (jack-off motion)

                             RECRUITER
                   The world needs extraordinary men. We
                   won't just make you better. We'll make
                   you better than better. A super-hero.

                             WADE
                   I already tried the hero business. Let's
                   just say it left a mark. The only chance
                   you'll see me again is if I hit `fuck-
                   it.'

24    EXT./INT.    GUADALAJARAN CLINIC WAITING ROOM - DAY - PAST           24

      A DILAPIDATED, SKETCHY MEDICAL `CLINIC' haunts the cityscape
      in GUADALAJARA, MEXICO.

                             WADE (V.O.)
                   For now, I'll get through this with the
                   one I love.

      A sickly-looking WADE is on the final stop in his futile
      quest to find a cure. DESPERATE. Among the MOST DESPERATE.

      He sits in a pathetic muzak-filled WAITING ROOM. Wearing a
      SOMBRERO and clutching VANESSA's hand. Her fingers are
      interlaced in his, once perfectly manicured nails chewed to
      the quick.

      Vanessa is also wearing a SOMBRERO, and ANXIETY on her face.

      Wade COUGHS SEVERELY, REPEATEDLY into a HANDKERCHIEF.

      Wade turns to the sweet ELDERLY COUPLE sitting next to him,
      ekes out a smile. The old man plays with some WORRY BEADS.




                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                        44.
                   Deadpool     Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
24   CONTINUED:                                                               24

                            WADE
                      (pulls out Spanish-English
                       electronic translator)
                  De donde eres?

                            ELDERLY WOMAN
                  Boca Raton.

                             WADE
                  Ah.   The fancy part of Mexico.

                            ELDERLY MAN
                  We've moved in with my son.       To afford
                  the treatment.

     Wade looks pained to hear this.

                               WADE
                  Cancer?     Sorry - ¿El Cáncer?

                            ELDERLY MAN
                  Stage four.

                            WADE
                  Toughest part of the Tour de France.

                            VANESSA
                  Very hilly.

     The elderly man gestures to the souvenir PATCHES sewn onto
     Wade's `HELLO KITTY' DUFFEL: CHECHNYA. CHINA. INDONESIA.

                            ELDERLY MAN
                  Logging some frequent flier miles?

                            WADE
                      (bone-weary)
                  Final stop on Desperation World Tour,
                  2016, which I believe was also the name
                  of the Stones' last concert...

                            VANESSA
                  `Final' because this is where we find the
                  cure.

     A MOTHER and her stoic young SON sign in with the NURSE
     behind the front desk. The boy has lost all his HAIR.

                             NURSE
                  No cheques de viajero.      No pesos.   Cash.
                  Americano.




                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                              45.
                Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
24   CONTINUED: (2)                                                 24

     Wade grows upset as the mother counts out hard-earned CASH.
     The boy reaches for a BOX filled with CHUPACHUPS (lollipops).
     The nurse scolds:

                         NURSE (CONT'D)
               Chupachups cuestan extra!

                         WADE (O.S.)
                   (angry)
               Hey!

     The nurse looks coldly at Wade. He stares back, eyes hard,
     then gets up and lays a crumpled dollar on the counter.

                         WADE (CONT'D)
                   (ice cold)
               It's on me.

     The nurse blinks, then stands, checking a CHART.

                         NURSE
               Señor... Abe Solomon?

     ABE and his WIFE get up. The nurse motions for Mrs. Solomon
     to stay in the waiting room.

                         ABE
                   (to Wade and Vanessa)
               Handsome couple. Good luck to you two.

     Abe drops his WORRY BEADS. Wade bends to retrieve them, then
     stands with effort and gently hands them to Abe.

                         WADE
               Good luck to you, Pops.

     Wade sits back down, and his eyes find the LITTLE BOY: his
     SUNKEN EYES. His MISSING HAIR. His LOLLIPOP, CLUTCHED like
     the richest treasure.

     Wade turns to look at Vanessa, who's also staring at the boy.

     Even though Vanessa is healthy, she, too, looks sick. No
     makeup. Dirty hair. Dark circles under her eyes. When she
     looks at Wade, it's clear she, not he, most needs comfort.

     Wade pulls Vanessa close and strokes her hair with a
     trembling hand. Abe disappears. Wade watches with a newly
     dark look of suspicion.
                                                                      46.
                 Deadpool     Final Shooting Script   11/16/15



25   INT.   OPERATING ROOM - DAY - PAST                                     25

     ABE lies shirtless on an UNSANITARY operating table, a tray
     of RUSTY surgical KNIVES nearby.

     A MAN with a pock-marked face stands over him in a white lab
     coat with blue-stitched cursive writing: `Dr. Delgado.'

                          DOCTOR
                Buenos días, Señor Abe.

     `Doctor' Delgado pokes and prods with his fingers, as if
     Abe's mid-section is Play-Doh.

                          DOCTOR (CONT'D)
                Voy a llegar dentro de tu cuerpo.

                             ABE
                I'm sorry.     No hablo español, doc.

     The doctor's other hand dips below the table, comes up
     dripping with something bloody. He kneeds at wrinkled skin
     smearing the CHICKEN BLOOD across Abe's flesh.

                          DOCTOR
                De que se cure! Señor Abe, you are
                cured.

     The doctor holds SMELLING SALTS under Abe's nose. His closed
     eyes jerk open to see the doctor's gloved hand CLUTCHING a
     huge, bloody `TUMOR.'

     Abe pushes himself up, peers down at his bloody abdomen with
     awe. The doctor wipes the blood away and helps him up.

                          ABE
                    (tearing up)
                Thank you. I owe you my life.

     As Abe shuffles out, the doctor turns away to dump the
     `tumor' in the trash and wash his bloody hands in a basin.

                          DOCTOR
                    (over his shoulder)
                ¡Proximo! Next!

                          WADE (O.S.)
                Already here, hombre.

     Dr. Delgado nearly JUMPS at the sight of WADE, already
     standing in the OPEN DOOR of the room, looking DANGEROUS.




                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                      47.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
25   CONTINUED:                                                             25

                            DOCTOR
                  So sorry, you surprise me. How...
                  long... you standing there, Señor?

     Wade walks slowly TOWARD the doctor, who steps out nervously
     from BEHIND his table. The two stand face-to-face. Wade
     smiles... angles his foot UNDER the OPERATING TABLE...

     ...and uses it to SLIDE something out from underneath the
     table: a BUCKET of BLOODY CHICKEN GIZZARDS that double as
     removed `tumors.' Wade's RAGE seems to grow by the INSTANT.

                            WADE
                  Long enough...

     Delgado senses he is suddenly in danger, picks up a rusty
     SCALPEL from his tray. Wade moves toward him. Delgado
     LUNGES, He STABS WADE in the shoulder, then RUNS.

     Wade TACKLES him. In Wade's weakened state, the fight
     becomes an intense STRUGGLE. The two FALL and WRESTLE. The
     BUCKET of GIZZARDS overturns. They roll around in slop.

     The doctor squirms out of Wade's grasp and crawls into the
     hallway. Wade wriggles after him, tugging at his ankle.

26   INT.   WAITING ROOM / HALLWAY - SUNSET - PAST                          26

     The MUZAC still plays. VANESSA smiles warmly/sadly at the
     little BOY, who is unwrapping his CHUPACHUP.

     Suddenly... a SCREAM and cries for help in Spanish. The
     NURSE and an ALARMED VANESSA rush toward the shouting.

27   INT.   HALLWAY - SUNSET - PAST                                         27

     At last, WADE's fury has overcome his physical weakness. He
     straddles the DOCTOR's CHEST. His expression is that of a
     man who's LOSING his SHIT.

     Wade RAISES THE SCALPEL, SLASHES at the doctor's throat, then
     STABS him in the heart. The doctor writhes, spasms, gurgles,
     and falls still.

     Chest heaving, Wade raises his head to see... at the FAR END
     of the HALL:

     VANESSA - frozen, TERRIFIED. A blood-soaked Wade locks eyes
     with her and swims back up into SANITY... `What have I done?'
     This is a horrific glimpse into Wade's murderous past...

     ...and the look on Vanessa's face is one of HORROR and PAIN.



                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                      48.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
27   CONTINUED:                                                             27

     Awash in shame, Wade staggers to his feet, slips on chicken
     blood, and LUNGES in the other direction. He hits the door
     at the end of the hall at a RUN.

28   STAB!                                                                  28

     The sword, covered in BLOOD, penetrates the crayon drawing of
     the recruiter on DEADPOOL's CORKBOARD.

                            DEADPOOL
                  Thank you, Agent Smith.

     Deadpool lasers in on AJAX's picture at the top of the
     pyramid.

29   EXT.    GUADALAJARA STREET - SUNSET - PAST                             29

     WADE leans against a wall, gasping for breath. He looks back
     toward her voice, face a mask of pain. Instead of seeking
     her... he melts into the busy street.

30   EXT.    DEADPOOL'S LAIR - DAY                                          30

     DEADPOOL trudges to his FRONT DOOR.       He speaks to the
     AUDIENCE:

                            DEADPOOL
                  Some kind of anger can't be managed.
                  Like the kind where your year-long plan
                  ends with the wrong guy getting
                  dismembered! That said... when it comes
                  time to licking wounds... there's no
                  place like home, and I share that home
                  with someone you met, the old blind lady
                  from the laundromat, Al. She's like
                  Robin to my Batman. Except she's old.
                  And black. And blind.

     POPS INSIDE

                            DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                  And I think she loves me. Wait... pretty
                  sure Robin loves Batman, too.

31   INT.    WORKSHOP - NIGHT - PAST                                        31

     WADE, ghastly, nearing death, lies BACK onto a STRETCHER,
     covered only by a FLIMSY HOSPITAL GOWN. He's being wheeled
     down a dim corridor by two tough-looking ORDERLIES.

     In one hand, he holds the recruiter's crumpled BUSINESS CARD.
     In the other, he clutches the limited edition VOLTRON RING,
     as tight as his shaky hand allows.


                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                        49.
                   Deadpool     Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
31   CONTINUED:                                                               31

     They turn a corner and push through a pair of double doors
     into a cavernous room. Wade looks around, full of hope for a
     new life. Immediately, every single thing he sees/hears
     begins to erode his confidence. The RECRUITER stands just
     inside the doors, smiling.

                            RECRUITER (O.S.)
                  Mr. Wilson! Nothing warms my heart like
                  a change of someone else's.

     Walking into Wade's P.O.V. is the creepy RECRUITER.             He beams
     down on Wade.

                            RECRUITER (CONT'D)
                  You finally hit `fuck-it.'

                            WADE
                  Worse.  Just promise you'll do right by
                  me. So I can do right by someone else.

                               RECRUITER
                  Of course.

                            WADE
                  Oh, and please don't make my super suit
                  green. Or animated.

                            RECRUITER
                  I hope you enjoy your stay.

     The `Workshop,' as this old warehouse is affectionately
     called, has been converted into a working LABORATORY.

     Wade is wheeled through a vast room containing rows of
     individual `tents,' each containing a SUBJECT. Wade's eyes
     DART to helpless SILHOUETTES.

     We hear WHISPERS, WHIMPERS, MOANS.

     A FELLOW PATIENT, a pathetic, terrified little man named
     CUNNINGHAM, is wheeled past Wade, restrained on another
     STRETCHER. Cunningham briefly locks eyes with Wade, but
     quickly moves on by.

     Wade can't help but be alarmed by the TERROR in Cunningham's
     eyes.

     The tents are illuminated by BLINDING overhead lights.             Wade
     spies GRUESOMELY INTIMIDATING MEDICAL EQUIPMENT.

     Wade is wheeled into the tent that's his new home. The
     FIGURE who was pushing Wade DUMPS him onto a CHROME OPERATING
     TABLE and roughly STRAPS him down.


                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                   50.
                Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
31   CONTINUED: (2)                                                      31

                         WADE
               Um.  My first request?    A warmer table.
                   (shivers)
               And warmer hands.

     Wade DOUBLE-TAKES at the sight of the figure above him:
     ANGEL DUST - thirties, female, tall, sexy, athletic - an
     Amazonian warrior in another age.

     Angel Dust wheels over a high-tech I.V. DRIP, complete with
     glass cylindrical tanks housing a glowing, viscous LIQUID.

     Then she roughly straps Wade's NECK to the table. Wade
     nearly GASPS, the color now officially drained from his face.

                          WADE (CONT'D)
               Easy!   Aren't you a little strong for a
               lady?   I'm calling wang.

                         ANGEL DUST
               You'd like that, huh.    Welcome to our
               little hospital.

                         WADE
               It doesn't look like a hospital. It
               looks like Chlamydia holding still.

     An UNLIT MATCHSTICK protrudes from Angel Dust's teeth - her
     idea of a TOOTHPICK.

                         WADE (CONT'D)
               Oral fixation?

                          ANGEL DUST
               Shut.   The fuck. Up.

     Angel Dust places a FINGER on Wade's FOREHEAD and SHOVES his
     head back against the table - BANG - pinning it there.

                         AJAX (O.S.)
               Patience, Angel. All in good time.

     Enter AJAX, whom we know as the PRISONER from the RAFT with
     whom we've seen Deadpool tangle in the PRESENT. This is the
     first Ajax and Wade have met.

                         WADE
               Can I expect turndown serv-?

     Ajax nods to Angel Dust. BOOM! She GAGS Wade with SURGICAL
     TUBING, then wraps it around the TABLE, immobilizing his
     head.



                                                              (CONTINUED)
                                                                   51.
                Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
31   CONTINUED: (3)                                                      31

                         AJAX
               You're a talker.

     Wade's eyes are wider than ever.    WTF?

                         AJAX (CONT'D)
                   (disarmingly matter-of-fact)
               Mr. Wilson, my name is Ajax. I manage
               the Workshop. My `welcome' speech used
               to be full of euphemisms like `You may
               feel some discomfort.' But I've grown
               blunt.

     Ajax unsheathes an I.V. NEEDLE. Angel Dust up-tilts the
     table 45 degrees, then readies a holographic monitor.

                         AJAX (CONT'D)
               The Workshop is not a government program.
               It's a private institution tasked with
               turning reclamation projects like
               yourself into men of extraordinary
               abilities. I'm about to remake your
               life. But if you think cancer cures
               painlessly, you're wrong. If you think
               super-human powers are acquired
               painlessly, you're wrong.

     Ajax touches Wade with the I.V. NEEDLE, pressing here and
     there, not QUITE hard enough to break skin. At last, he
     locates the subclavian vein. Wade flinches.

                         AJAX (CONT'D)
               We're injecting you with a serum that
               activates mutant genes. For it to work,
               we need to subject you to extreme stress.

     The liquid glows FLUORESCENT through Wade's white skin as it
     pumps into the pulmonary highway.

                          AJAX (CONT'D)
               You've heard the whole make-an-omelette,
               break-some-eggs bit?
                   (Wade blinks)
               I'm about to hurt you, Wade. The kind of
               hurt I can't describe and you can't
               prepare for. It's cruel stuff. And
               there's no way out for you. No secret
               you can tell me. No soft spot in me to
               appeal to.

     Wade stares at them in shock.




                                                              (CONTINUED)
                                                                52.
                Deadpool     Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
31   CONTINUED: (4)                                                   31

                         ANGEL DUST
               What, you expected Weapon X?

     Ajax starts to TURN AWAY, but stops.

                          AJAX
               One more thing. What's the ad? `I'm not
               just the president. I'm a client?' I've
               been through this procedure myself. It
               made me stronger. It also scorched my
               nerve endings. So I no longer feel pain.
               In fact...
                   (smiles)
               I no longer feel anything.

     Wade reacts by SAYING something - made UNINTELLIGIBLE by the
     surgical tubing. Ajax nods to Angel Dust, who slices the
     SURGICAL TUBING, SNAPPING it away and FREEING Wade to TALK.

                         WADE
               Something in your teeth.

     Ajax smiles WITHOUT opening his mouth, signals Angel Dust.
     She slams Wade's head back again as he turns to leave.

     Before he exits, Ajax hesitates, can't help but check his
     teeth in one of the surgical mirrors.

                         WADE (O.S.) (CONT'D)
               Made you look! Hey, is Ajax your real
               name? `Cause it sounds suspiciously made
               up. What's it really? Steve? Mark?
               Trevor? Kyle?
                   (E.T. voice)
               Elliot?

     We hear LAUGHS from nearby tents.      Wade is now playing for an
     audience.

                         AJAX
               Joke away. The one thing that never
               survives this place is a sense of humor.

                            WADE
               We'll see!

                          AJAX
                   (to Angel Dust)
               All yours.

     We re-take WADE'S P.O.V. as Angel Dust, chewing her
     matchstick, re-enters frame above him, smiles, then punches
     him in the face. Black.
                                                                        53.
                     Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15



32     INT.   WORKSHOP - NIGHT/DAY - MONTAGE - PAST                           32

       A MONTAGE of Wade's treatments in the Workshop, set to the
       notes of JOHN DENVER's inspirational classic, `I WANT TO
       LIVE.' Juxtaposed with HARROWING VIGNETTES of Angel Dust and
       AJAX experimenting on WADE...

       ...as he GASPS, CLAWS, SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER.

       Wade is DUNKED into thick, molasses-like LIQUID. PULLED and
       YANKED, POKED and PRODDED by contraptions that would have
       shamed the Spanish Inquisition.

       SAWED.   COMPRESSED.     SLICED.   DICED.   SLAP-CHOPPED.     BLED.

       LONG SYRINGES PLUNGE DEEP INTO SOFT TISSUE.

       SCALPELS MAKE LONG INCISIONS.

       ENDOSCOPIC CAMERAS TRAVEL THROUGH THE BODY, REVEALING THE
       DIRTY WORK OF INVASIVE SURGICAL EQUIPMENT.

       STAPLE-GUNS DRIVE STAPLES INTO SLICED SKIN TO PULL IT BACK
       TOGETHER.

       MINIATURE CIRCULAR SAWS SLICE THROUGH BONE.

       IV's PULL FLUIDS FROM THE BODY AND INSERT OTHER FLUIDS IN.

                              JOHN DENVER
                    I want to share what I can give.     I want
                    to be... I want to live!

       We also see SHORT, ULTRA-FAST MINI-MONTAGES of medical
       instruments, implying the PASSAGE of TIME.

32AA   INT.   WORKSHOP - MONTAGE - NIGHT                                     32AA

       Over images of:

       INJECTION:

                              AJAX (V.O.)
                    The serum I'm injecting you with targets
                    any mutant genes lurking in your DNA.

       TORTURE:

                              AJAX (V.O.)
                    Adrenaline acts as a catalyst for the
                    serum, so we must subject you to extreme
                    stress.



                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                         54.
                     Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
32AA   CONTINUED:                                                          32AA

                              AJAX (V.O.)
                    If you're lucky, the mutant genes will
                    activate and manifest in spectacular
                    fashion.

                              AJAX (V.O.)
                    If not, we'll have no choice but to keep
                    hurting you in new and different ways.
                    Each more painful than the last.

32AA   INT.   WORKSHOP - DAY                                               32AA

                              AJAX
                    Until you finally mutate.      Or die.

33     INT.   WORKSHOP - WADE'S TENT / WORM'S TENT - NIGHT                   33

       At last, Wade is laid back down on his table, only now in
       QUIET DARKNESS, MEEK, WITHOUT ANY RESISTANCE whatever.

                                CUNNINGHAM (O.S.)
                    Puppies.

       In the tent NEXT to Wade, CUNNINGHAM holds up his FIST to the
       fabric. Wade can see it through the cloth in SILHOUETTE.

                              CUNNINGHAM (CONT'D)
                    It helps picturing puppies.

       Wade gives Cunningham a KNUCKLE BUMP through the fabric.

                                WADE
                    Puppies.

                              CUNNINGHAM
                    Or kittens. If you swing that way.

                              WADE
                        (chuckles)
                    I swing both ways.

       Wade swallows hard, grows serious:

                              WADE (CONT'D)
                    But me, I've been making a list of things
                    I still plan to do.

                              CUNNINGHAM
                    A bucket list?




                                                                    (CONTINUED)
                                                                      55.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
33   CONTINUED:                                                             33

                            WADE
                  I prefer fuck-it list: Naked tandem base-
                  jumping with the WNBA's Sacramento
                  Monarchs... Sparking up a spliff with the
                  Olympic torch...

                            CUNNINGHAM
                  Finishing my Lego Millenium Falcon...

                            WADE
                  Giving Meredith Baxter Birney a dutch
                  oven...

                            CUNNINGHAM
                  Making my kids banana pancakes...

                             AJAX (O.S.)
                  With the mouse ears? Creative, and
                  delicious.

     AJAX and ANGEL DUST enter CUNNINGHAM's tent and begin
     prepping him for a fresh round of torture.

                            AJAX (CONT'D)
                  It's OK, I encourage distractions. Can't
                  have you giving up on us, can we now, you
                  little worm?

     Suddenly, a VOICE calls out from the adjacent tent:

                            WADE (O.S.)
                  Don't take that shit, Cunningham! How
                  tough can he be? Name like Francis.

     Ajax is very subtly SURPRISED.      WHAT did Wade just say?       WADE
     is still strapped down inside.      Talking nice and LOUD:

                            WADE (CONT'D)
                  That's right! He got `Ajax' off a dish-
                  washing liquid!
                      (laughs from nearby tents)
                  Legal name's Francis. F-R-A-N-C-I-oops.

     Ajax has ENTERED Wade's tent. Ajax's expression tells us all
     we need to know about the validity of Wade's claim.

     With as much freedom of motion as he has in one hand, Wade
     WAVES a STUB of PAPER at Francis.

                             WADE (CONT'D)
                  Dry-cleaning tag, Francis.     Snagged it
                  off your lab coat.
                      (beat)
                             (MORE)

                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                     56.
                  Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
33    CONTINUED: (2)                                                       33
                           WADE (CONT'D)
                 FYI. I may be able to get you the super-
                 hero discount.

      CLOSE-UP on the tag, which reads `FREEMAN, FRANCIS.'

      Ajax stares hard at Wade with menacing eyes.

                           AJAX
                 You are so relentlessly annoying. Shut
                 the fuck up, or I'll sew that pretty
                 mouth shut.

                           WADE
                 Uh, I wouldn't do that. Here's the
                 problem with round-the-clock torture.
                 You can't really step it up from there.

                           AJAX
                 Is that what you think?

                            WADE
                 Yeah.   Francis.    That's what I think.

34    OMITTED                                                              34

V35   EXT/INT.   MONTAGE - VARIOUS                                         V35

35    INT.   WORKSHOP - NIGHT - PAST                                       35

      Two ORDERLIES and ANGEL DUST finish strapping Wade down and
      attaching ELECTRODES to his head and chest. Wade is BOUND to
      a HOSPITAL BED that's ENCASED in a large CAPSULE of
      PLEXIGLAS.

      The top half of the capsule is hinged to one side, OPEN,
      allowing Angel Dust access to Wade.

      Ajax sits eating a meal from some Tupperware in a nearby
      chair.

                           AJAX
                 Seems your genes are as stubborn as you.
                 But we can still increase your suffering.
                 We don't even have a name for this next
                 toy.

      Various WIRES and TUBES run out of the capsule, connected to
      OXYGEN TANKS, DIALS, and a MONITOR tracking BRAIN and HEART.

                           AJAX (CONT'D)
                 We reduce the oxygen in the air to the
                 exact point you feel like you're
                 suffocating.
                           (MORE)

                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                         57.
                   Deadpool      Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
35   CONTINUED:                                                                35
                            AJAX (CONT'D)
                  If you start to pass out, and your brain
                  waves slow, we turn up the O2. If you
                  catch your breath, and your heart rate
                  slows, we turn it back down. And we
                  leave you. Right. There.

                                WADE
                  Um.   What?

                            AJAX
                  Waterboarding is the most severe stress
                  known to man. This device prolongs that
                  stress. For hours, days, weeks...

     Angel Dust chews her match and TAPS the capsule with a
     FINGER.

                            ANGEL DUST
                  Or if you keep yapping, years...

                            WADE
                  And I thought you were dicks before
                  this.

                            AJAX
                  The saddest part? You still think we're
                  making you a super-hero. You.
                  Dishonorable discharge. Beating up pizza
                  guys. Hip deep in hookers. You're
                  nothing. I'd call you an asshole, but
                  I'd have to answer to assholes. Little
                  secret, Wade. The Workshop doesn't make
                  super-heroes. It makes super-slaves.
                  We're gonna fit you for a control collar
                  and auction you to the highest bidder.
                      (finishes meal, gets up)
                  Who knows what they'll force you to do.
                  Put down freedom fighters. Murder
                  innocents. Or maybe just mow a lawn or
                  two.

                            ANGEL DUST
                  There's a brave face.

     Ajax goes to close the lid.

                            WADE
                  Seriously. Now you do have something in
                  your teeth.

                            AJAX
                  Enjoy the weekend!



                                                                    (CONTINUED)
                                                                       58.
                  Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
35    CONTINUED: (2)                                                         35

      Ajax swings the capsule CLOSED and LOCKS it. The sound leaks
      away until all that's left is a HISSING SOUND as AJAX hits
      BUTTONS to lower O2 LEVELS.

      Wade's voice drops out as his breathing suddenly grows SHORT
      and SHALLOW. The oxygen dials fall. His HEART-RATE SOARS.

                           ANGEL DUST
                     (chuckles)
                 He looks like a turd in a punch-bowl.

                           AJAX
                     (bright idea)
                 The `Punch-Bowl!'

      Wade fights off panic. His breaths become desperate GASPS.
      There's not enough air to talk, or even SCREAM.

                                                         DISSOLVE TO:

35A   INT.   WORKSHOP TENT - LATER                                           35A

      Night.   Eerily DARK, SILENT.

      An extreme CLOSE-UP of Wade's hand, nails clenched into the
      surface of whatever he's lying on. Is his skin... actually
      BUBBLING?

      Two MEN enter the tent and stand over the PUNCH-BOWL.

      CLICK. One of the men turns on a surgical light overhead,
      revealing himself to be a KINDLY-looking DOCTOR, avuncular,
      thick glasses. Next to him is an ORDERLY. The doctor peers
      through the Punch-Bowl's lid. He is SURPRISED by what he
      sees. He nods to the orderly: `Go on, hurry.'

      The orderly quickly unlocks and unlatches the lid, then
      swings it OPEN. Air RUSHES INTO the PUNCH-BOWL. The orderly
      steps away, leaving the doctor alone in the room.

      WADE, hidden in darkness, gasps as though surfacing after
      being held underwater.

      The doctor casts a SHADOW over WADE's face inside.         The
      doctor is FASCINATED, ENLIVENED.

                           DOCTOR
                 Mr. Wilson... these results are
                 remarkable.

      Wade takes deep LUNGS-FUL of AIR.




                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                       59.
                    Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
35A   CONTINUED:                                                          35A

                             DOCTOR (CONT'D)
                   Your cancer cells are more aggressive
                   than ever. Dividing and metastasizing at
                   a fantastic rate.

                             WADE
                       (broken, breathless)
                   Yippee.

                             DOCTOR
                   But... the cells have inalterably
                   changed. They're no longer destructive,
                   but productive, selectively targeting and
                   replacing damaged tissue.

                             WADE
                   That was a lot of... what's the word...
                   syllables. Are you saying I'm better?

                             DOCTOR
                   Better than better.    A miracle.

                              WADE
                       (weak smile)
                   My Mom used to call me that.
                       (ALT:)
                   Me and Jesus.
                       (beat, to doctor)
                   Thank you. I owe you my life.

      Wade grows choked up. The doctor is taken with empathy and
      affection. He tenderly brushes the hair off Wade's forehead,
      of which the camera catches the tiniest glimpse. Wade's skin
      is not RIGHT somehow.

                             DOCTOR
                   There. There. Your journey's been long
                   and difficult. But you've become
                   something extraordinary. Just rest now.
                   Rest.

      The doctor slowly exits.     Wade lies there.    Actually relaxes.

                             DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                   Then, just when I thought I could breathe
                   easy...

      Who appears over the PUNCH-BOWL but...

      ...AJAX.




                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                               60.
                 Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
35A   CONTINUED: (2)                                              35A

                         AJAX
                Oo. Someone lost his shot at homecoming
                king.

                          WADE
                You f-fucking sadistic-

                          AJAX
                No. Not fair. Everything I've done to
                you has been in your best interest. Even
                this next bit. You may be cured, but you
                still need to learn to be a better man.
                Polite. Respectful. What better way to
                teach you than to close this lid... and
                keep torturing you stupid.

      Ajax SLAMS the lid shut, LATCHES and LOCKS it. The hissing
      resumes. Wade's eyes grow wide. He starts to slip-slide
      toward absolute ANGUISH.

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                If you think I'm losing my marbles `cause
                I can't breathe. You're only half right.

      Ajax appears to be looking in at Wade. But we RACK FOCUS to
      reveal he's looking at his REFLECTION in the Plexiglas lid,
      checking for stuff between his teeth.

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                See, if Francis was able to see his
                reflection...

      The camera SWINGS around to Wade's POINT-OF-VIEW of Ajax
      through the glass lid, which has been newly ILLUMINATED by
      the surgical light above...

      ...and then RACKS FOCUS to WADE's REFLECTED FACE. Covered
      with HORRIFIC SCARS. Wade is no longer a handsome young man.
      He is a monster. Which is perfectly visible to him one foot
      away.

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                You know what they say. You always
                remember your first time.

      Wade throws back his head in a SILENT SCREAM.

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                Even 5 years later...
                                                                       61.
                    Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15



36     EXT./INT.   SCRAP-YARD / GROUND - DAY - PRESENT                       36

       Back in the PRESENT, we find ourselves in a huge SCRAP-YARD,
       where various ships, planes, etc. are sold for scrap iron.

       Among various vehicles is an OLD, BATTERED COMBAT CARRIER,
       long given up for dead.

       A heavy truck navigates through the heaps of scrap-metal and
       grinds to a stop in front of the carrier.

       Two heavyset MEN climb down and head toward the back of the
       truck, heave the heavy door open.

       AJAX and ANGEL DUST stand just inside, boxes and gear piled
       up behind them. They hop down as four more rough-looking men
       pile out behind them.

       Angel Dust drags out a WOODEN CRATE. The planks crunch as
       she digs her fingers into the wood and heaves it up on one
       burly shoulder as if it weighed no more than a sack of flour.
       Heavy AMMO peeks through.

                             ANGEL DUST
                   Better to be the hunter than the hunted.

       Ajax and Angel Dust walk across the muddy yard toward a
       service elevator bolted to the rusting hulk of the carrier.

                             AJAX
                   Either I kill him, or he kills me.     Let's
                   put him out of our misery...

VA37   INT.   GARBAGE TRUCK - DAY                                        VA37

       DEADPOOL lays horizontal.     He is speaking to the AUDIENCE:

                             DEADPOOL
                   There... all caught up.

       He CLIMBS up and out of the GARBAGE TRUCK.

                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                       (yells to driver)
                   Thanks for the lift! Apologies if I bled
                   in the recyclables.

37     INT./EXT.   DEADPOOL'S LAIR - DAY - PRESENT                           37

       A mid-city DUPLEX. Borderline ghetto. Semi-furnished,
       `first apartment' quality: futons and torchiere lamps.




                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                      62.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
37   CONTINUED:                                                             37

     Stained carpet, currently being swept by a roaming ROOMBA.
     IKEA... everywhere.

     The same old AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMAN we glimpsed early in the
     movie - late 70's - purple floral dress - sits on a ratty
     couch, where the typical old woman might KNIT.

     Instead, this old woman uses a BOX-CUTTER to lay waste to a
     BIG CARDBOARD BOX from IKEA - the `IVAR SHELVING UNIT.'

     She lays out its components and tools on a wobbly IKEA NORNAS
     COFFEE TABLE...

     ...made more difficult by the fact that she is completely
     BLIND. This is Deadpool's roommate, BLIND AL.

     Suddenly, Blind Al's KEEN EAR picks up a faint, distant
     KNOCKING. She cocks her head to LISTEN.

38   EXT. DEADPOOL'S LAIR - DAY - PRESENT                                   38

     ANGLE ON THE FRONT YARD:

     Dirt. No grass. `93 Chevy Avon up on BLOCKS. An exhausted
     DEADPOOL is slumped against his own front door, red suit, no
     mask, no right HAND. He is KNOCKING weakly on the door with
     the SIDE of his HEAD.

39   INT. DEADPOOL'S LAIR - DAY - PRESENT                                   39

     ANGLE ON THE LIVING ROOM:

     BLIND AL stands up in comfy creme nursing shoes. Grabs her
     red-tipped CANE. And shuffles toward the front door...

     ...when she is TRIPPED by the ROOMBA.        She FACE-PLANTS.

                            DEADPOOL (O.S.)
                      (from outside)
                  Let's get ready to Rooooooomba!

                            BLIND AL
                      (under breath)
                  Ass-hat.

     Al SWINGS her cane angrily, again and again, trying to hit
     the robotic vacuum, which moves happily just out of reach.

     She reaches her knees and stretches for the door when...

     ...DEADPOOL SPRINGS it open from outside, SLAMMING it into
     her HEAD. Blind Al goes down again.



                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                       63.
                   Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
39   CONTINUED:                                                              39

                            DEADPOOL
                  Morning, roomie!
                      (sniffs)
                  This place reeks like old lady pants.

                            BLIND AL
                      (still supine)
                  Yes. I'm old. I wear pants.

                            DEADPOOL
                  But you're no lady.

     Blind Al struggles to a sitting position. Deadpool walks
     past her in his socks, drops his muddy BOOTS to the floor and
     slips into a pair of POWDER-BLUE CROCS parked just inside the
     door.

                              DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                  So comfy.

                            BLIND AL
                  Upside of being blind:     I've never seen
                  you in Crocs.

                            DEADPOOL
                  You mean my big rubber masturbatin'
                  shoes?

                            BLIND AL
                  Yes I know. Downside of being blind:        I
                  hear everything in this duplex.

     Deadpool walks bitterly past one wall of the DUPLEX, which is
     COVERED - WALL-to-WALL, FLOOR-to-CEILING, with CHRISTMAS
     ADVENT CALENDARS.

     Tons of ornaments/candies/etc. adorn the calendars.            There's
     not ONE CALENDAR left uncovered.

                            DEADPOOL
                  One-thousand eight-hundred twenty-two
                  ornaments pinned to two-hundred-sixty
                  calendars. All for a `Christmas' that...
                  never... came!

                            BLIND AL
                  Too much naughty, too little nice.

                            DEADPOOL
                  Sit on a stick.

     DEADPOOL SPLAYS OUT on a white futon, MOANING, nursing his
     horrifying wound.


                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                      64.
                Deadpool      Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
39   CONTINUED: (2)                                                         39

                             BLIND AL
               Bactine?

                         DEADPOOL
                   (dripping sarcasm)
               Yeah. Bactine should do it. How's the
               Kullen coming? IKEA doesn't assemble
               itself.

     Blind Al sits back on the ratty couch and begins applying the
     finishing touches to the shelving unit.

                         BLIND AL
               You're telling me. I don't mind the
               Kullen. It's an improvement on the
               Hurdal.

                         DEADPOOL
               Anything's an improvement on the Hurdal.
               I'd have taken a Hemnes... or even a
               Trysil... over the Hurdal. But I didn't
               get excited `til I saw the Kullen.

                         BLIND AL
               Screw please.

                         DEADPOOL
               Here? Now? Just kidding.          I know it's
               been decades for you.

                         BLIND AL
               You'd be surprised.

                         DEADPOOL
               And totally grossed out!

     Blind Al turns the final screw, beyond unenthusiastic.

                             BLIND AL
               Ta.    Dah.

     The dresser look like the Leaning Tower of Piza in shitty
     particle board. Deadpool TOSSES a DIRTY MAGAZINE on top.
     The Kullen COLLAPSES.

                         BLIND AL (CONT'D)
               I wish I'd never heard of Craig's List.

                         DEADPOOL
               And I quote: `Looking for roommate.
               Blind to life's imperfections. Must be
               good with hands.' Or wouldya rather I
               build IKEA and you pay rent?


                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                       65.
                  Deadpool   Final Shooting Script     11/16/15
39     CONTINUED: (3)                                                        39

                           BLIND AL
                 Why such a douche this morning?

                           DEADPOOL
                 Let's recap. That cock-thistle who
                 turned me into this freak... the one I've
                 been waiting five years for... slipped
                 through my arms today. Arm.

       Deadpool holds up his previously severed arm, which now has
       a little tweenage ARM emerging off it. Yes. Deadpool can
       GROW BACK LIMBS.

                           DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                 Catching him was my only chance to be hot
                 again. Get my super-sexy ex back. And
                 stop the same shit from happening to
                 anyone else. So yeah, things are pretty
                 fucking scrumptious.

       Deadpool stands. Walks behind the couch, and as he passes
       the back of Blind Al's head... FARTS.

                           DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                 Hash-tag Drive-by.

                           BLIND AL
                     (to herself)
                 I'm gonna find this `Craig.'        And I'm
                 gonna kill him.

                           DEADPOOL
                 Once I've got the cure, I'm gonna do the
                 same to Francis...

RS40   INT. WORKSHOP TENT - LATER                                        RS40

       WADE, newly scarred, hidden in darkness, continues to GASP as
       though being held underwater. Then the lid on the punch-bowl
       SLIDES BACK, revealing AJAX. Wade takes deep LUNGS-FUL of
       AIR. Ajax leans in for a closer look.

                           AJAX
                 Bloody hell. Someone lost his shot at
                 homecoming king.

                           WADE
                     (can barely speak)
                 What have you done to me?!

                           AJAX
                 You give me too much credit. This...
                 this is the result of your genes.
                           (MORE)

                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                        66.
                     Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
RS40   CONTINUED:                                                         RS40
                              AJAX (CONT'D)
                    The punch bowl merely raised your stress
                    to trigger the mutation.

                              WADE
                    You... sadistic... fuck!

                              AJAX
                    Where's the gratitude?! You're cured!
                    Your mutated cells can heal anything.
                    They're attacking the cancer as fast as
                    it can form. Your insides are a war
                    zone. Not to mention your outsides!

       Wade looks stunned as he struggles to process all this
       information. Ajax smiles down.

                              AJAX (CONT'D)
                    I've seen similar side-effects before.         I
                    could cure them for you. But really,
                    where's the fun in that?

       Wade says nothing, hating him but wanting to believe.

                              AJAX (CONT'D)
                    I'm going to close this lid again.     Maybe
                    you no longer need it. But I do.

       For a long moment, Wade stares intensely at Ajax and sees...
       nothing, a black hole of empathy. And he knows this is a man
       who will never stop hurting him.

       ***NOTE: We will not be reshooting the rest of the scene
       below with the exception of the final shot.****

       So he turns his gaze to the ceiling and WITHDRAWS into
       himself... the one place the cruelty can no longer reach him.

       Angel Dust enters, chewing on her usual matchstick.

                              AJAX
                    He's all yours.

       Angel leans over the Punch-bowl, starts to undo Wade's
       restraints.

                              ANGEL
                    You smell like shit.

       When Angel Dust leans close to Wade's head he suddenly comes
       alive and uses the strength he has left to HEAD-BUTT her in
       the FOREHEAD.




                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                        67.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script     11/16/15
     CONTINUED:

                            AJAX
                      (impressed)
                  Whoa.

     Angel advances toward Wade.      Ajax stops her.

                            AJAX (CONT'D)
                  Hey, hey, alright. It's alright. I
                  think he earned that one, yeah? You take
                  off. Go on... off you go.

     As Angel Dust EXITS the tent, she reaches to her mouth for
     her matchstick... only it's not there. She frowns, fishes
     another match from her pocket, and tucks it between her lips.

     Ajax finishes strapping Wade back down and goes to close the
     lid.

                            AJAX (CONT'D)
                  One question. What's my name?

     Wade remains listless, mouth SHUT.       BLINKS.

                            AJAX (CONT'D)
                  Didn't think so.

     Ajax CLOSES and LOCKS the lid.      HISS.    The oxygen DIALS FALL.

                            DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                  Sorry, Francis. But my lips are sealed.

     And then we're inside the punch bowl with Wade as the oxygen
     levels drop and the suffering rises. Through a fog of misery
     Wade sees Ajax staring down, watching him, drinking in his
     pain.

41   INT.   WORKSHOP - NIGHT - PAST                                           41

     Back in the Punch-Bowl, Wade OPENS his MOUTH... within which
     he was HIDING a SINGLE MATCHSTICK, clenched carefully - dryly
     - between his teeth.

     He inhales... then SPITS OUT the match into his waiting PALM.
     Finally, he STRIKES it against the side of the Punch Bowl.

     Wade aims the now FLAMING match toward the tiny HOLE through
     which OXYGEN flows. The match is quickly burning down. Will
     it reach the hole before it snuffs out?

     At the last possible moment...

     ...the flame COMBUSTS the stream of oxygen, IGNITING it...



                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                        68.
                  Deadpool     Final Shooting Script    11/16/15
41   CONTINUED:                                                               41

     ...back through the TRANSPARENT PLASTIC TUBE that trails
     outside the Punch-Bowl.

     The flame SNAKES through the tube, this way and that, until
     it reaches the OXYGEN TANK standing next to the Punch-Bowl.
     A beat. Then the TANK EXPLODES.

     The   BLOWS APART.      The hospital bed SNAPS in TWO.

     Out in the ward, the FIREBALL curls outward, spreading from
     TENT to TENT. BOOM! BOOM! Other flammable tanks DETONATE.

     The tents GO UP like ROMAN CANDLES.        It's now MASS CHAOS.

     ALARMS BLARE.    Flames LEAP.     Smoke BILLOWS.     Patients FLEE.

     A CURTAIN of FIRE suddenly DISPERSES, replaced by billowy
     WHITE SMOKE from an OVER-SIZED CHROME FIRE EXTINGUISHER...

     ...held by AJAX, who STRIDES grimly toward Wade's tent.             He
     throws back the burning fabric...

     ...and nearly EATS an OXYGEN TANK.        He BLOCKS it at the last
     moment with his FIRE EXTINGUISHER.        CLANG.

     On the other end of the oxygen tank, WIND-MILLING it with
     unbridled FEROCITY, is WADE.

     WADE and AJAX SWING the oxygen tank and fire extinguisher
     like modern day CLUBS, trying to take off each other's heads.

     CLANG!   BANG!   BAM!    The tanks COLLIDE in mid-air.

     Ajax's fingers CRUNCH between metal.        He doesn't even feel
     it.

     Wade grabs the HOSE of Ajax's fire extinguisher, angles it
     up, and gets his finger on the TRIGGER.

     The extinguisher BLASTS.      Ajax is momentarily BLINDED.

     Wade brings the oxygen tank down like a LUMBERJACK'S AXE.
     Ajax BLOCKS it, but is driven to his KNEES.

     Wade's eyes are lit with fire. DOWN the tank COMES, again
     and AGAIN. Ajax takes his own fire extinguisher to the CHIN.
     Then catches a BLOW from the oxygen TANK to his TEMPLE.

     The extinguisher goes FLYING. Wade swings the OXYGEN TANK
     AGAIN, but against all odds, AJAX CATCHES it and SLAMS it
     back into Wade's NOSE. CRUNCH.




                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                     69.
                Deadpool     Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
41   CONTINUED: (2)                                                        41

     Ajax rises to his feet, and the two grip OPPOSITE SIDES of
     the OXYGEN TANK, GRAPPLING with every ounce of strength.

     Wade sweeps Ajax's feet and he topples over backwards, Wade
     on top of him. Wade lifts the heavy tank and slams it into
     his face. Once. Twice. Three times. CRACK.

     As he's about to finish the job Ajax smiles, blood bubbling
     from his smashed lips.

                         AJAX
               You can't kill me, Wade. I'm the only
               one who can fix that ugly mug.

     Wade looks torn as his rage gives way to something like hope.
     He tosses the tank away.

                         WADE
               Then time to make me me again.

     A scream of terror behind Wade makes Wade turn.

                          CUNNINGHAM (O.S.)
               Wade!   Help! Wade!

     Wade looks through the smoke and flame and spies a helpless
     Cunningham lying in the flaming wreckage.

                            WADE
               Fuck!

     Wade drops Ajax and SPRINTS to Cunningham, starts dragging at
     the WRECKAGE trapping him, when... SLICE! A long piece of
     sheared REBAR THRUSTS CLEAN THROUGH his CHEST from BEHIND.
     The force sends the spear DEEP into the wooden floor beams,
     pinning Wade like an insect in an entomologist's display.

     In a grand display of strength, AJAX BENDS the end of the
     rebar to keep Wade pinned... then walks around and squats
     down into Wade's eye line, wearing a triumphant sneer.

                            AJAX
               Say it.     `Francis.'

     Blood dribbles from Wade's mouth as he tries in vain to push
     himself off the bloody spike of metal. Ajax rises, scans the
     burning workshop with a scowl - clearly a lost cause - and
     turns to leave.

     Cunningham screams again as the flames near him. Grunting
     with the pain and effort Wade tries to push himself off the
     spike.



                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                         70.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script      11/16/15
41    CONTINUED: (3)                                                           41

      His hands slip on the blood-slick metal, and he cannot free
      himself. His VOLTRON RING lies on the floor next to him.

      Wade and Cunningham share a last look.          Cunningham clamps his
      jaws shut, fighting the agony.

      CREAK... CRACKLE... the ROOF COLLAPSES, BURYING BOTH OF THEM.
      And we... CUT TO BLACK.

                                                              FADE UP ON:

42    INT. WORKSHOP - DAY                                                      42

      Morning's first sunlight. WADE's VOLTRON RING lies
      COMPLETELY MELTED in the DEBRIS. The camera follows it to
      Wade's hand... then up his arm to his FACE.

      WADE's eyelids flutter, and he COMES TO. He is naked, his
      hospital gown burned away. We see BLACKENED SLUDGE, SOOT,
      charred remains. The melted and scorched metal rod next to
      him.

      Wade slowly realizes where he is and what happened. He
      reaches down to his stomach wound... WHICH HAS MIRACULOUSLY
      HEALED. Wade sits up, stunned.

                            DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                  I didn't just get the cure to El Cáncer.
                  I got the cure to everything.

V43   EXT. CITY STREET - MORNING - PAST                                        V43

      VANESSA, tired, broken, mind seemingly elsewhere, walks
      towards her apartment. She passes a loving young COUPLE, arm-
      in-arm.

      Vanessa clocks this sadly, continues on.

      Behind her, PEOPLE walk to and fro.      Among them, we REVEAL:

      WADE, dressed in ill-fitting pants and a hoodie. He is a
      TRAIN-WRECK, scarred face on display to the world for the
      first time.

      He looks purposeful, but tentative, walking behind Vanessa,
      GAINING on her.

      ANGLE ON:   WADE's P.O.V.

      A BOY goes by on his bike, trying hard not to gape. A
      TODDLER in a STROLLER looks up and BURSTS INTO TEARS. The
      toddler's MOTHER hustles past.



                                                                    (CONTINUED)
                                                                       71.
                    Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
V43   CONTINUED:                                                          V43

                             MOTHER
                   Alex, don't stare.

      VANESSA stops and rifles through her purse for keys.

      STILL on Wade's P.O.V. Wade stops, too, suddenly paralyzed,
      as the moment to face Vanessa arrives.

      As he hesitates, torn with anguish, the WHISPERS seem to
      grow, rising in volume until they become deafening:

                             WHISPER 2 (O.S.)
                   Oh, my, god, that is so fucking gnarly.

                             WHISPER 3 (O.S.)
                   I just lost my appetite.

      Wade spins, trying to see where the voices are coming from.
      Nowhere... everywhere. The WHISPERS crescendo, now more in
      Wade's mind than in reality.

      He turns back to Vanessa, his face a mask of fear and pain...
      just as she disappears into her apartment building. The
      closing glass door reveals his own HIDEOUS REFLECTION STARING
      BACK AT HIM.

                              DEADPOOL
                   In the whole wide world, there's nothing
                   as ugly...
                       (beat)
                   ...as fear.

      He gives up on his mission, backing away from his reflection,
      Vanessa, his old life. He stumbles off the curb and into the
      street, when... BAM!

      He is CRUSHED OUT OF FRAME by a SPEEDING BUS.

                                                           SMASH CUT TO
                                                                 BLACK.

      FADE UP ON:

A43   INT.   MORGUE - NIGHT                                               A43

      THREE BODY BAGS lie on SLABS in a MORGUE.

      Without warning, the MIDDLE bag SITS UP STRAIGHT at the
      WAIST...

      ...then tries to CATERPILLAR its way to the edge of its
      slab...



                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                           72.
                     Deadpool    Final Shooting Script     11/16/15
A43    CONTINUED:                                                             A43

       ...but instead pitches off the slab - CRUNCH - FACE-FIRST
       onto the floor.

                                WADE (O.S.)
                    Ow.

B44    INT.   DEADPOOL'S LAIR - NIGHT                                           B44

       An FBI-STYLE `ORGANIZATIONAL CHART' has been pinned on Wade's
       CORKBOARD in the lair. A `pyramid' of baddies are linked by
       strings. Each baddie is depicted not by a photograph, but a
       child-like CRAYON DRAWING.

       Second from the top is the RECRUITER.

       At the APEX of the pyramid is AJAX HIMSELF.

       DEADPOOL, in his LAIR, sews together an early `proto-
       costume.'

       We see quick cuts of pieces of it going on:

       White Adidas track suit. White gloves.            White boots.     And
       some sort of white mask...

       A single gun, underarm holster, boot knife but no swords.

VC44   INT.   POOL HALL - NIGHT                                                 VC44

                              DEADPOOL
                    Don't make me ask twice.     Where's
                    Francis?!

       DEADPOOL questions a bleeding thug, more bodies scattered
       across a floor littered with broken furniture behind him.

       Another thug rushes in and smashes a pool cue over Deadpool's
       skull. Deadpool snatches the broken shaft of wood and PUNCHES
       it into the thugs belly.

       A third thug staggers to his feet, pulls a pistol, fires
       multiple shots point blank. Deadpool staggers back, blood
       blossoming across his white suit.

       "CLICK"

       The thug stares in disbelief that Deadpool's still standing.

       Deadpool looks down at the shaft of wood in his hand.
       Thinks.




                                                                      (CONTINUED)
                                                                           73.
                     Deadpool      Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
VC44   CONTINUED:                                                            VC44

                              DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                    I said, where's... fucking... FR-
                        (realizes)
                    You made me ask twice.

       Deadpool spins the bloody cue with inhuman dexterity and
       starts towards the terrified thug, accidentally knocking over
       a PITCHER of BLOODY MARY onto his already bloody stained
       suit.

                                  DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                    Fuck.   Me.

D44    INT.    LAUNDROMAT - DAY                                               D44

       DEADPOOL, TIDE STAIN-STICK in hand, tries unsuccessfully to
       get the blood out of his white suit.

       We get our first glimpse of BLIND AL, who's sitting next to
       Deadpool at the laundromat, completely unfazed by the
       bloodbath:

                              BLIND AL
                    Seltzer water and lemon for blood.
                        (off Deadpool's impressed
                         look, shrugs)
                    Or wear red.

       Deadpool's eyes light up. He crumples this suit into a ball
       and tosses it into a trash bin.

E44/H44 INT.   DEADPOOL'S LAIR - NIGHT                                    E44/H44

       Deadpool stabs a KNIFE into the picture of the GOON he just
       killed (at the bottom of the pyramid)... right in the
       FOREHEAD.

F44    INT.    LAIR - NIGHT                                                   F44

       DEADPOOL's at the sewing machine again.

       Quick cuts of a RED `proto' outfit going on: Cheap red
       sweats. Red gloves. Red converse. As yet unseen RED MASK,
       which turns out to be...

VG44   INT.    UNDERGROUND FIGHT - NIGHT                                     VG44

       ...a RED `LUCHA LIBRE' PRO WRESTLING MASK.

       Deadpool stands in the shadows of a dingy basement, low
       ceilings, walls stacked high with cases of liquor.




                                                                      (CONTINUED)
                                                                          74.
                     Deadpool     Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
VG44   CONTINUED:                                                           VG44

       In a BOXING RING at the center of the room two WOMEN pound
       each other surrounded by a scrum of a CROWD. Deadpool spies
       his mark in a dirty white suit pressed in tight ringside.

       Deadpool pulls his mask down, wades into the crowd, throwing
       men aside, PLOWING toward his target.

       The mark sees Deadpool at the last second, turns as a KATANA
       flashes out and skewers his hand, pinning it to the wall.
       Deadpool fires a couple shots into the ceiling, sending the
       rest of the crowd rushing for the exit.

                              DEADPOOL
                    Don't make me ask twice.      Where's-

                                                             SMASH CUT TO:

J44    INT./EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS - INTERROGATIONS/KILLS                    J44

       Deadpool has a goon at sword-point.

                              DEADPOOL
                    Donde esta Francisco?

                              THUG
                    I don't speak Spanish.

                              DEADPOOL
                        (sighs)
                    And I don't have time for you to learn.

       Deadpool kills the thug.

                              DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                    Take me to your leader.
                        (turns)
                    I've always wanted to say that.



                                 DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                    Squeal.     Like a pig. Where's Francis?



                              DEADPOOL
                    In no particular order. Where's your
                    boss? And where can I find good Indian
                    food?

                              HENCHMAN
                    Why the red suit?



                                                                     (CONTINUED)
                                                                        75.
                    Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
J44   CONTINUED:                                                           J44

                             DEADPOOL
                   That's so bad guys can't- never mind,
                   they've already heard that.



                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                   You're about to tell me everything you
                   know about Francis Freeman. Known
                   aliases. Current whereabouts. Boxers or
                   briefs. Go.



                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                       (forces guy's mouth open,
                        goes in with knife)
                   Open your mouth. Here comes the
                   airplane!

                             GOON
                       (gun pointed at forehead, a
                        la Joseph Takagi)
                   I don't know, I'm telling you. You're
                   just going to have to kill me.

                               DEADPOOL
                   OK.
                       (shoots goon in head, a la
                        Hans Gruber, then, to
                        audience:)
                   Right?!



                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                       (goon at knifepoint)
                   Don't make me break out the Collective
                   Soul CDs.




                             DEADPOOL
                   You give me your boss.     I give you the
                   rest of your life.




                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                        76.
                     Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
J44    CONTINUED: (2)                                                      J44

                              DEADPOOL
                        (throws woman onto table)
                    I don't feel good about myself.     But
                    where is he? I'm so sorry.

L44    EXT./INT.    MONTAGE - VARIOUS                                      L44

       New COSTUME.     BOOM.   A MAN dies.

       STAB.    His picture is knifed.

       BOOM.    STAB.

       QUESTIONS.

       BOOM!    STAB!

       INTERROGATION.

       BOOM!    STAB!

       DEADPOOL questions more and more thugs, each bit of
       information bringing him closer....

       Soon there is a FOREST of knives sticking from the board.

       ...and only the RECRUITER and AJAX are left.

K44/VK44 INT.   RICE WORLD - NIGHT                                    K44/VK44

       A wretched room, dirty mattresses covering the floor. Dim
       light scatters through a tangle of IV bags hastily strung up
       over MEN too poor to have anywhere else to go and die.

       The RECRUITER kneels, speaking quietly to a particularly
       hardened patient. He places a card in the man's emaciated
       hand, then stands and walks toward a low doorway.

       The recruiter enters a brightly lit room stacked high with
       bags of rice. Two heavily armed THUGS fall in beside him.
       The men scan the aisles as they move toward a door leading
       out into an alley.

                              DEADPOOL
                    Agent Smith!

       They turn to see DEADPOOL, high atop a stack of rice bags.

                              DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                    I know, right?! I look like a million
                    bucks.
                        (turns to camera)
                              (MORE)


                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                       77.
                     Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
K44/VK44
       CONTINUED:                                                    K44/VK44
                              DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                    Literally - this suit cost Fox a million
                    dollars.

       Without a word, the Recruiter flees, running through the big
       roll-up door.

       Deadpool leaps to land between the two bodyguards as they
       draw their weapons and spray the room with gunfire.

       One goes down in a bloody heap. Deadpool leaps toward the
       other, skewers him with both swords. The thug falls
       backward, dead before he hits the ground.

L44/VL44 EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT                                           L44/VL44

                              DEADPOOL
                    Come out, come out, wherever you are!
                        (darkens)
                    Don't make me ask tw-
                        (pleasantly surprised)
                    Good for you!

       The Recruiter has stepped timidly from between overflowing
       garbage bins, hands raised, eager to talk his way out of this
       mess:

                              RECRUITER
                    To whom should I address my... desperate
                    bargaining?

                              DEADPOOL
                    Don't recognize the voice? Maybe the
                    resumé: Forty-one confirmed kills. Make
                    that Eighty-nine. Seven the past week
                    alone. Same rate most folks...
                        (pulls out SWORD)
                    ...get a shave.

                              RECRUITER
                        (realizes who it is, fights
                         to stay composed)
                    Mr... Wilson?

                              DEADPOOL
                    Ding-ding-ding! Now... you're about to
                    tell me where I can find your boss. Or
                    I'm gonna make you feel worse. Wait...

       Deadpool brings the sword closer to the recruiter's face.
       Turns to CAMERA:

                              DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                    ...worse than worse.


                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                       78.
                     Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
L44/VL44
       CONTINUED:                                                    L44/VL44

                              RECRUITER
                    And I pride myself on being persuasive.

                                                           SMASH CUT TO:

RS44   INT.   SISTER MARGARET'S - DAY - PAST                              RS44

       WADE stands in the shadows.      WEASEL sits at a table.

                              WADE
                    No... no way! I'm not making her life as
                    ugly as mine!

                              WEASEL
                    C'mon, you can't look that bad! It's
                    like that blemish no one notices but you.

                              WADE
                    Wrong. I'm a monster, inside and out. I
                    belong in a circus, the kind that rolls
                    around Eastern Europe in covered wagons.

                              WEASEL
                    I can't envision a scenario where Vanessa
                    won't take you ba-
                        (Wade steps into light,
                         takes off his hoodie)
                    -aaaaaccckkk!! Holy shit. You... are...
                    terrifying. You look like an avocado had
                    sex with an older avocado.

       Wade grabs the bottle of JACK DANIELS from the table,
       GUZZLES.

                              WEASEL (CONT'D)
                    We might have to move our relationship to
                    text and phone only.

       Wade ignores Weas, slams down the bottle:

                              WADE
                    And the only guy who can fix this fugly
                    mug, the asshole who ran that mutant
                    factory, escaped to who knows where.

                              WEASEL
                    I take back the Vanessa thing.      You have
                    only one option.

                              WADE
                    Find Francis-Go-Fuck-Himself.




                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                          79.
                     Deadpool    Final Shooting Script    11/16/15
RS44   CONTINUED:                                                           RS44

                              WEASEL
                        (not listening)
                    Star in low budget horror movies.
                    Seriously, you look like Freddy Krueger
                    face-fucked a topographical map of Utah.

                              WADE
                        (equally not listening)
                    I'm gonna work my way through his crew...
                    crushing bad guys' skulls, `til one of
                    `em leads me to Francis. Then I'll force
                    him to cure this face. Stomp his bloody
                    guts into a fine vintage. And win
                    Vanessa back.

                              WEASEL
                    OK. Not exactly the plot of Beauty and
                    the Beast, but cool. Good news, that
                    douche thinks you're dead. Advantage
                    you. He won't think you're coming. Bad
                    news, with a puss like that, you'll be
                    spotted fast.

                              WADE
                        (derisive)
                    So what do you suggest?     A mask?

                              WEASEL
                    Not a bad idea! You... are... haunting.
                    Your face is the stuff of nightmares.

                               WADE
                        (nods)
                    Like a testicle with teeth.

                              WEASEL
                    How `bout a super-suit? And a nickname!
                    Bitter-Boy. Super-Fist. Captain Never-
                    Die.
                        (deflates at a thought)

                                WADE
                    What?

                              WEASEL
                    Nothing. It's just... you know, I just
                    realized, I'm never winning the-

       Weasel looks over to Wade, sees him staring.          He follows
       Wade's gaze up to the board on the wall.

                                WADE
                    Deadpool.


                                                                     (CONTINUED)
                                                                        80.
                    Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
RS44   CONTINUED: (2)                                                     RS44

       As Wade says the word, he and Weasel share a look.           EUREKA.
       Wade holds up the BOTTLE.

                               WEASEL
                   Deadpool.    To you, Mr. Pool.

       The two CLINK GLASSES.

44A    INT./EXT.   MONTAGE - DAY/NIGHT - PAST                                 44A

       A highly pleased DEADPOOL holds up the-soon-to-become-famous
       MASK for the first time, ushering in... a MONTAGE:

       WADE, at SISTER MARGARET's, receives a YELLOW CARD with a
       Cypress Tree from WEASEL.

       He turns a LUCHA LIBRE mask INSIDE OUT to reveal the classic
       DEADPOOL MASK we all know and love. Puts it on. Then
       dresses - piece-by-piece - in the RED UNIFORM we've come to
       know and love. And at last, UNSHEATHES A KATANA. The sword
       TWIRLS, SLASHES, LUNGES into shadow. A HANDKERCHIEF WIPES
       BLOOD from the BLADE. The katana gets SHEATHED again.

       The same yellow card is now RECEIVED and PUNCHED by Weasel.
       Wade is paid in TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS. WHIP CREAM froths onto
       a shot glass. A BLOW-JOB is TOSSED BACK.

       Meanwhile, VANESSA plays SKEE-BALL wistfully by herself at
       the ARCADE:

       SKEE-BALLS roll into HOLES. LIGHTS FLASH. TICKETS CHURN
       OUT. VANESSA catches a reflection of someone STARING at her
       from across the lobby. When she spins around, the culprit is
       GONE. Vanessa SHIVERS... but it's a warm shiver, somehow.

       A HEAP of TICKETS slides across the prize counter. A big
       STUFFED ANIMAL slides into Vanessa's arms. Vanessa tosses it
       into an empty CLOSET inside her and Wade's former APARTMENT.
       Then stares out the SPIDER-WEB CRACK in the window.

       Back at DEADPOOL's LAIR, Deadpool places various suspicious
       accoutrements on the NORNAS COFFEE TABLE: an 8x11 framed
       photo of VANESSA. A BOTTLE of JERGENS. A BOX of KLEENEX.
       His BELT. His powder-blue CROCS. Deadpool kicks back on the
       FUTON. Smiles under his mask.

       CUT TO: BLIND AL, building yet another shelving unit,
       looking up with a grossed-out frown: `Am I hearing what I
       think I'm hearing?'

       Next, DEADPOOL finishes plastering hundreds of ADVENT
       CALENDARS he's purchased onto one WALL of his LAIR.



                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                      81.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
44A   CONTINUED:                                                         44A

      When the wall is covered, he carefully pins the FIRST
      ornament onto the FIRST tree on the FIRST calendar.

      And at last, his MASK comes OFF and his HEAD hits the PILLOW.

      Instantly, the montage CRANKS UP its SPEED, with quicker and
      quicker EDITS.

      The visual totems that have just been introduced begin to FLY
      by... shorthand for the passage of time:

      Yellow cards are given, received, punched.

      Blades are unsheathed, sheathed, cleaned.

      Whip cream sprayed.     Drinks consumed.

      Skee-balls rolled into holes. Tickets won. Prizes earned.
      Tossed onto a EVER-GROWING PILE in the closet. VANESSA
      staring out her window.

      Jergens pumped. Kleenexes pulled.       Crocs discarded.      BLIND
      AL's ears plugged.

      Ornaments are pinned to calendars.      Lords a-leap.      Swans a-
      swim. Maids a-milk.

      Mask comes off.    Head hits pillow.    Mask pulls on.

      The images fly by FASTER... FASTER... FASTER.

      Whip cream. Skee-balls.     Crocs.    Ornaments.   Weasel.
      Deadpool. Vanessa. Al.

      `I NEED A HERO' plays faster and faster, too - higher and
      higher, like a record on too many RPMs.

      The effect is rhythmic... hypnotic...

      ...until finally, the montage REACHES a CRESCENDO.

      And then BOOM!    Ratchets back to REGULAR SPEED:

      `CHRISTMAS MORNING' has arrived. All the calendars but one
      are now fully studded with decorations. DEADPOOL plucks out
      one last STAR to pin atop the final TREE.

      Only it's not a star at all, it's AJAX's MUG SHOT clipped out
      from the old NEWSPAPER.

      With great satisfaction, Deadpool pins the faded photo to the
      last treetop. The music dies, and Deadpool turns to camera.



                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                      82.
                  Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
44A   CONTINUED: (2)                                                     44A

                           DEADPOOL
                 Santa Claus is coming...

                                                         SMASH CUT TO:

45    OMITTED                                                             45

46    INT.   DEADPOOL'S LAIR - DAY - PAST                                 46

                           DEADPOOL (O.S.)
                 ...to town!

      DEADPOOL has ONE LEG in his COSTUME and the other LEG still
      stabbing for the other pants-hole.

                           DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                 Late-late-late-late-late!

      He HOPS ACROSS the hall past BLIND AL, not really paying
      attention to her. We're revisiting the moment from earlier
      JUST AFTER she TRIPS on Deadpool's DUFFEL of AMMUNITION,
      PICKS it up, and DRAGS it OFF.

                           DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                 Hurry-hurry-hurry-hurry-hurry!

                           BLIND AL
                 I hope you're doing us the courtesy of
                 pants.

47    EXT.   CITY STREET - DAY - PAST                                     47

      DEADPOOL runs out to the street corner and WAVES.

                             DEADPOOL
                 Taxi!

      A TAXI - if you've been paying attention, you will recognize
      it - pulls up to the curb. Deadpool opens the rear door. A
      WOMAN steps out, pausing to pay Dopinder.

                           WOMAN
                 Keep the change.

      Deadpool frowns. The woman is pulling her money from a
      BERNADETTE PETERS CHANGE PURSE. Deadpool's eyes raise from
      the purse to the woman holding it: BERNADETTE PETERS
      HERSELF! Deadpool doubletakes, then shakes his head (`Nah,
      couldn't be...') and climbs into the cab. Who is behind the
      wheel but...

                           DOPINDER
                 Where do you want to be going!


                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                         83.
                      Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
47      CONTINUED:                                                             47

                               DEADPOOL
                         (looks to camera)
                     And we all know how this turned out.
                     Cue Benny Hill speed...

        The action goes into Benny-Hill-like HYPER-SPEED as we relive
        the opening scenes of the movie: DEADPOOL's CAB RIDE. AJAX
        crumpling up his orange jumpsuit and switching places with a
        motorcycle RIDER at the RAFT. The FREEWAY FIGHT with AJAX's
        GOONS. The CONFRONTATION with COLOSSUS. Until at last...

VRS48   EXT. WAREHOUSE - DAY                                              VRS48

        Transport TRUCKS idle in the loading dock.

        A docile SUPER-SLAVE, fitted with a control collar and cuffs,
        steps into a CRATE IDENTICAL to the ONES AJAX DELIVERED TO
        THE WARLORD in ACT ONE. He lies down.

        ANGEL DUST is overseeing.      She plunges a pistol-grip syringe
        into his neck and fires:

                               ANGEL DUST
                     For your flight.

        The man's eyelids flutter shut. Next to him, four identical
        crates hold four unconscious men and women. The workshop
        henchmen hammer on the tops and laboriously load them up into
        the truck.

        ANGEL picks up one over her shoulder with ease. She turns at
        the sound of a sputtering motorcycle getting closer.

        Ajax rolls in on one of the battered black bikes from the
        freeway. Smoke curls from its broken tailpipe.

        He steps off the bike while it's still moving, just letting
        it roll forward and tip to the ground with a clank.

                               AJAX (O.S.)
                     Quit showing off, Angel.

        Angel doesn't seem surprised by his dirty and bloodied
        appearance. A raised eyebrow and a disapproving look is all
        she has for her boss.

RSA48   INT.   WAREHOUSE - DAY                                            RSA48

        A WAREHOUSE full of SURGICAL EQUIPMENT. OVERHEAD LAMPS.
        FABRIC TENTS. CHROME TABLES, one of which Ajax sits on.

                               AJAX
                     Wade Fucking Wilson.


                                                                    (CONTINUED)
                                                                         84.
                      Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
RSA48   CONTINUED:                                                        RSA48

        ANGEL DUST stands in front of him, putting stitches into his
        GORY MESS of a SHOULDER WOUND.

        He doesn't so much as FLINCH.

                               ANGEL DUST
                     Makes perfect sense.

                               AJAX
                     I suppose if I looked like him, I'd wear
                     a mask too.
                         (Angel finishes final
                          stitch)
                     Only wish I mended the same.

        Ajax pops off the table.     Swings his arm around, testing his
        shoulder.

                               AJAX (CONT'D)
                     Not to worry. We'll put him out of our
                     misery. On our terms.

                               ANGEL DUST
                     And if he heals?

                               AJAX
                     He can't - if there's nothing left of him
                     to heal. And then we go back to business
                     as usual.

        Ajax's hand is a blur as he plucks the MATCHSTICK from
        Angel's mouth.

                               AJAX (CONT'D)
                     What say we leave the matches at home?

49      INT.   DEADPOOL'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT - PRESENT                      49

        ...the PAST reaches the PRESENT. REGULAR SPEED AGAIN.
        DEADPOOL is sitting on his futon, Crocs on, staring at
        camera.

                               DEADPOOL
                     There. All caught up.
                         (shifts weight, moans, lies
                          back on futon)

                               BLIND AL (O.S.)
                     Tylenol P.M.?

        BLIND AL shuffles over from the kitchen with a cup of tea and
        a bottle of Tylenol. She eases down onto the futon next to
        Deadpool.


                                                                    (CONTINUED)
                                                                      85.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
49   CONTINUED:                                                             49

                            DEADPOOL
                  You can stick that where you stuck the
                  Bactine! I found my stash of wisdom-
                  tooth Percocet in the Storjorm, and I'm
                  orbiting Saturn. But I appreciate the
                  gesture.

     Deadpool lays his head on Blind Al's shoulder and gently rubs
     her face with his KID HAND.

                            BLIND AL
                  Am I crazy, or is your hand really small?

                            DEADPOOL
                  The size of a KFC spork.

                            BLIND AL
                  Eesh. I get why you're so pissy. But
                  your mood's never gonna brighten `til you
                  find this woman you love and tell her how
                  you feel!

                            DEADPOOL
                  What do I keep saying, Mrs. Magoo? She
                  wouldn't have me! If you could see me,
                  you'd understand.

                            BLIND AL
                  Love is blind, Wade.

                            DEADPOOL
                  No, you're blind.

     The ROOMBA sucks up THREE SCREWS next to an IVAR shelving
     unit.

                            BLIND AL
                  What was that?

                            DEADPOOL
                  A clue why our Ivar shelving unit's about
                  to fall the fuck apart.

                            BLIND AL
                  So you're just gonna lie there and
                  whimper?

                            DEADPOOL
                  Just clocking time `til this arm plows
                  through puberty. I've got a new
                  Christmas Day.




                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                 86.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
49     CONTINUED: (2)                                                  49

       Deadpool throws his feet, CROCS and all, up on the coffee
       table.

                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                  Now, ya may want to leave the room.
                      (beat)
                  I bet it feels huge in this hand.

RS50   INT.   SISTER MARGARET'S - NIGHT                            RS50

       WEASEL is on the house phone.    The bar is BUSTLING.

                            WEASEL
                  Wade, we got a problem.    And by we I mean
                  you.

VB51   EXT.   NO. 5 ORANGE - NIGHT                                 VB51

       DEADPOOL and WEASEL walk hastily, purposefully into the eye
       of the storm. Deadpool is a HOT MESS.

                            DEADPOOL
                  I'm about to lose what's left of my shit.
                  Is there a word for half-afraid, half-
                  furious?

                             WEASEL
                  Afurious? Wait, is it Monday?! They
                  have an amazing Matzah Ball Soup Monday.
                      (beat)
                  Never mind. Have you figured what you're
                  gonna tell her?

                            DEADPOOL
                      (thinks)
                  Fuck.

                            WEASEL
                  It's a start.

51A    INT.   `NO. 5 ORANGE' STRIP CLUB - NIGHT                        51A

       Lights flash. Music pumps. From across the room we see WADE
       and WEASEL enter. Weasel jokes with the DOORMAN while Wade
       scans the crowd, searching for Vanessa.

       EMCEE STAN LEE, sweatsuit, gold chains, Beats headphones,
       lords from a glass cubicle:

                            STAN LEE
                  Coming onto the stage, give it up for...
                  Chastity!
                                                                    87.
                 Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15



52   INT.   `NO. 5 ORANGE' STRIP CLUB - NIGHT                             52

                          WEASEL
                Or as I like to call her, Irony!

     DEADPOOL navigates through a TIGHTLY-PACKED CROWD toward the
     MAIN STAGE, accompanied by WEASEL.

                          DEADPOOL
                We gotta find her fast.    Before fuck-ass.

                          WEASEL
                How do you even know she's here?

                          DEADPOOL
                I come for the French Onion Soup. How do
                you think? I'm constantly stalking that
                fox.

     Deadpool STOPS in his tracks, STARING.

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                Every time I see her is like the first
                time.

     REVERSE ANGLE to reveal what Deadpool is looking at: the
     gorgeous backside of a COCKTAIL WAITRESS in a skimpy dress.
     Back to Deadpool:

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                Even from this angle. Especially from
                this angle.

     Hypnotized, Deadpool puts one foot in front of the other,
     approaching the waitress.

     Suddenly, the WAITRESS TURNS to reveal her face:       VANESSA.

     Deadpool immediately CHICKENS OUT, puts his head down, turns
     away from her into the press of MEN around one of the stages.

     Vanessa catches the vaguest glimpse, but before she can get a
     better look, Deadpool is swallowed up by the crowd.

     She gets that warm shiver again... the one that says she's
     feeling an old presence.

     She stares after Deadpool.    It couldn't possibly be.

     Deadpool pushes past the men, almost in a panic, beating a
     HASTY RETREAT toward WEASEL at the back of the room.




                                                               (CONTINUED)
                                                                      88.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
52   CONTINUED:                                                             52

                            DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                  Shittiest moment numero tres.

     Deadpool walks past Weasel, fleeing into the men's room...

53   INT.   MEN'S REST ROOM - CONTINUOUS                                    53

     ...and SPLASH!     Washes his face at the SINK.

                            DEADPOOL
                  Lezzdothis. Before I re-reconsider.
                  Maximum effort.

     A hand comes into frame offering a paper towel. It belongs
     to a WASHROOM ATTENDANT in a tuxedo vest. Deadpool uses the
     towel to wipe his face and finishes with the attendant's
     sleeve.

                            DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                  Sorry.
                      (tries to dry attendant's
                       sleeve with paper towel)
                  I get very uncomfortable around you guys.
                      (takes mint off counter,
                       then condom off counter,
                       then sees tip jar)
                  Crisp high five?

54   INT.   `NO. 5 ORANGE' STRIP CLUB - NIGHT                               54

     VANESSA sets down a tray of empty glasses.        Her scum-bag of a
     MANAGER gives her a heads-up:

                            MANAGER
                  Someone out back asking for you. Said
                  somethin' about an old boyfriend?

55   EXT.   `NO. 5 ORANGE' STRIP CLUB - ALLEY - NIGHT                       55

     VANESSA exits the club into an ALLEY, one of Wade's old
     jackets thrown over her shoulders. One sickly street lamp
     casts some light. The rest is obscured in SHADOW. Vanessa
     spies the shape of a MAN hiding in the shadows.

                            VANESSA
                  I knew it was you.

     Vanessa is seized by memories.      She peers into the dark,
     heart pounding.

                            VANESSA (CONT'D)
                  With the weird, curvy edges.



                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                      89.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
55   CONTINUED:                                                             55

     Then steps forward slowly, nervously.        Overcome with emotion.

                            VANESSA (CONT'D)
                      (barely audible)
                  Like a jigsaw puzzle.

     No one answers.     Vanessa gets a bad feeling and starts to
     back up.

     The man steps confidently into the light.        Not WADE...

     ...but AJAX. Vanessa spins around and runs straight into
     Angel Dust, who step out of the shadows.

     Vanessa make a grab for her purse, contents spilling out onto
     the grimy street, but her hand comes up with a TASER. She
     jams it into the flesh of Angel Dusts shoulder.

     Angel Dust just smiles as electricity arcs and sizzles.           Then
     she grabs Vanessa's hand and twists it away.

     Vanessa THRASHES like a polecat. But Angel Dust is brutally
     strong. She clamps her hand around Vanessa's jaw and
     SQUEEZES, dangling her in the air by her FACE.

                            AJAX
                  You have Wade Wilson to thank for this.

     Vanessa's eyes widen in shock and surprise.

                            AJAX (CONT'D)
                  `The good Lord sends the fishing...

     Vanessa screams mutely into Angel Dust's palm.

                            AJAX (CONT'D)
                  ...but you must dig the bait.'

56   INT.   `NO. 5 ORANGE' STRIP CLUB - HALLWAY - NIGHT                     56

     WADE pushes through the crowd to find WEASEL sitting in GYNO
     ROW at the edge of the stage. He's in the middle of slipping
     a bill into a dancer's garter.

                            WEASEL
                  Manager said she went that way.
                      (thumbs towards the back)
                  Good luck, Tiger!

     DEADPOOL moves quickly down a HALL, turns a corner, and
     REACHES for the knob of the door to the alley. His eyes
     WIDEN as he remembers something IMPORTANT.



                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                        90.
                     Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
56     CONTINUED:                                                             56

       Deadpool reaches back and pulls up his hood to hide his
       scarred FACE.

       Deadpool girds himself, then OPENS the door to spy...

57     EXT. `NO. 5 ORANGE' STRIP CLUB - ALLEY - NIGHT                         57

       ...the empty alley. Deadpool spies a woman's CLUTCH lying
       alone in a pool of light, contents strewn about. He reaches
       down and picks up...

       ...his old BERNADETTE PETERS CHANGE PURSE.

                              DEADPOOL
                    Mother-fucker best be wearing his brown
                    pants.

58     INT.   SCRAPYARD / ELEVATOR - PRE-DAWN                                 58

       AJAX and Angel Dust stand at either side of a bound and
       gagged VANESSA. They are inside the metal cage of an
       INDUSTRIAL ELEVATOR, going UP.

                              DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                    And... numero dos.

       A bare bulb casts harsh light as they rise past a dark mass
       of twisted metal. Ajax looks almost bored, hums to himself
       tunelessly.

V59    EXT.   FLIGHT DECK - DAY                                               V59

       AJAX explains his plan to VANESSA:

                              AJAX
                    That's what I thought, but he keeps on
                    coming back. Like a Bad Jesus. But
                    despite all Wade's powers, I still hold
                    the advantage: He feels. Too strongly
                    for his own good. Let's see how he
                    fights with your head on the block.

VA60   EXT.   X-MANSION - DAY                                             VA60

       A sign reads `PROFESSOR XAVIER'S SCHOOL FOR GIFTED
       YOUNGSTERS.'

       The sign is on the perfectly manicured front lawn of the
       gorgeous Gothic X-MANSION.

       Who is standing outside the front door of the mansion but
       DEADPOOL, in full regalia. Deadpool raises his knuckles to
       KNOCK, but is suddenly STARTLED...


                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                    91.
                     Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
VA60   CONTINUED:                                                     VA60

       ...by the door SWINGING OPEN to reveal an annoyed NEGASONIC
       TEENAGE WARHEAD. She's wearing BEATS HEADPHONES.

                              DEADPOOL
                    Ripley from `Alien 3'!

                                NTW
                    Deadfool.

                              DEADPOOL
                    It's like you knew I was about to knock!
                        (shivers, `creepy')
                    Is that big steel dildo home?

                              NTW
                    You guys going for a bite?      Early bird
                    special?

                              DEADPOOL
                    Like there's something wrong with eating
                    before sundown. Or saving money. But
                    no. It's about me saving my girl from a
                    bad guy, the one you two helped me lose.
                    You do fight bad guys?
                        (off NTW's stare)
                    No time for hard stares, are you gonna
                    fetch big-shiny-balls or not? Tell him I
                    have an offer he can't refuse!

       NTW turns, disappears into the house.

                                NTW
                    Colossus!

       From off camera, we hear loudly, excitedly, from the second
       floor:

                              COLOSSUS (O.S.)
                    Is that you, Wade?! I knew you'd see
                    error of ways!

                              DEADPOOL
                    Yep, that's me, seeing the error of my
                    ways! I just need an itty bitty favor in
                    return!
                        (turns to camera, whispers)
                    Fool him five times? Shame on him.
                                                                      92.
                 Deadpool    Final Shooting Script    11/16/15



60   INT.   DEADPOOL'S LAIR - DAWN                                           60

     WEASEL and DEADPOOL are going through IKEA drawers, pulling
     out every GUN and GRENADE on God's green earth and stuffing
     them into a couple of Deadpool's `I *HEART* HELLO KITTY'
     DUFFEL BAGS.

     This is Deadpool's ARSENAL, big enough for a small army.           In
     go the twin DESERT EAGLES. Then Weasel dumps an entire
     ARMFUL of AMMO BOXES into the duffel.

                          WEASEL
                That's about... three thousand shells.

     A BEAT.   Deadpool LOOKS AT CAMERA menacingly:

                          DEADPOOL
                And we've all seen what I can do with
                twelve.

     BLIND AL enters, holding a STEYR AUG RIFLE.

                          BLIND AL
                I was gonna spend tonight assembling the
                Borgsjo, but this is holding my interest.

     Both Deadpool and Weasel duck, afraid she might shoot them.

                          DEADPOOL
                Careful, Ronnie Milsap, we're down-range!
                And we decided on the Orrberg, not the
                Borgsjo.

                            BLIND AL
                Shit.

                            WEASEL
                She cool?

                          DEADPOOL
                The coolest. Plus, she could never pick
                you out of a line-up.

     BEEP-BEEP. DEADPOOL looks at his phone.         The screen says,
     "Vanessa's Phone"

                          DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                It's Francis. He wants me to come to
                him. And he calls me a piece of-
                    (squints, can't read)




                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                       93.
                   Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
60   CONTINUED:                                                              60

                            WEASEL
                      (points)
                  That's the shit emoji. A turd with a
                  smile, see? How did Google ever approve
                  that?

     Blind Al grabs a Nerf N-Strike Elite Strong-arm Blaster from
     a drawer (it feels like a gun!) and goes to put it in the
     duffel. Deadpool almost stops her, then shrugs - maybe it
     will come in useful...

                            BLIND AL
                  That's every piece in the house.

                              DEADPOOL
                  Uh-uh-uh.

     Blind Al sighs - busted - she puts her leg up on a chair and
     pulls a tiny Saturday Night Special from an ankle holster...
     and is about to hand it over when instead, she turns, and...

     ...BOOM... shoots the ROOMBA, laying waste to it.

                             BLIND AL
                  It was him or me.
                      (beat)
                  I did hit it, right?

                            DEADPOOL
                  Please. It's been years since you've hit
                  anything. See what I did there?

                              BLIND AL
                  Fuck you.

     Deadpool takes the tiny gun and shoves it in the small of his
     back. Then follows Weasel out the door. Then quickly turns
     back.

                            DEADPOOL
                      (to Al)
                  In case I never see you again, I love you
                  very much... and there's a hundred-ten
                  million dollars buried somewhere in the
                  apartment. Good luck. Watch your face.

     Deadpool slams the door behind him.

61   INT./EXT.    TAXI - MORNING                                             61

     A TAXI drives across the city, its BACK BUMPER scraping the
     ground, throwing off SPARKS.



                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                       94.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script    11/16/15
61   CONTINUED:                                                              61

     In the PASSENGER seat: DEADPOOL, his DUFFEL at his feet.
     Behind the wheel: DOPINDER.

                            DEADPOOL
                  Any luck winning Gita back?

                            DOPINDER
                  I tried to hold on tight, Mr. Pool. But
                  Bandhu is more craftier - and handsomer -
                  than me.

                            DEADPOOL
                      (shrugs)
                  It's all relative.

     Deadpool quickly LIFTS his MASK, revealing his SCARS to
     Dopinder.

     STARTLED, Dopinder FLINCHES and SIDESWIPES a PARKED CAR.

                            COLOSSUS (O.S.)
                  Stop the car. I must leave a note.

     Cut to the BACK SEAT to find COLOSSUS CRAMMED in, KNEES to
     CHEST. He's drinking a CAPPUCCINO in a Dunkin' Donuts cup.

                            DEADPOOL
                  Oh, please. I'll bet the halls of your
                  high school were very well monitored.

                            DOPINDER
                  I cannot be stopping.

                            NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD (O.S.)
                  Wait, I'm getting a premonition.

     To Colossus's left is NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD. She's
     holding two fingers to her temple again, a la Professor X.
     Then nods toward Dopinder.

                            NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD (CONT'D)
                  He's uninsured.

                            DOPINDER
                  She indeed has ESPN!    I am quite
                  uninsuranced.

                            DEADPOOL
                  You mean ESP. But come on!      I coulda-

                            NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD
                  -called that yourself?



                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                       95.
                 Deadpool      Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
61   CONTINUED: (2)                                                          61

                              DEADPOOL
                Gaaaahhhh!

     Deadpool literally BOUNCES in frustration.

                          DOPINDER
                Who brought this twinkly man?

                          DEADPOOL
                Twinkly, but deadly. My big Russki
                friend doesn't like the idea of a whole
                new army of mutant mutton-heads. And I
                told him if he did me this solid, I'd
                consider joining his boy band.

                          COLOSSUS
                It's not a boy band.

                          DEADPOOL
                Sure it's not.

     The cab drives over a SMALL DIP and BOTTOMS OUT.         CLANG.
     BANG. A muffled yelp comes from the TRUNK:

                              VOICE (O.S.)
                Ow!   Help.     Me.

     BEAT.   Dopinder reaches to turn up the RADIO.

                           DEADPOOL
                Uh.   Dopinder. What was that?

                              DOPINDER
                Oh, that?      That was Bandhu.

                              COLOSSUS
                Bandwho?

                          DOPINDER
                My romantic rival, Bandhu. He's tied up
                in the trunk. I'm doing as you said,
                D.P. I plan to gut him like a tandoori
                fish. Then dump his lifeless corpse on
                Gita's doorstep like a cat with a dead
                bird. Mom and Dad will be over the moon.

     Deadpool looks back at Colossus and shrugs.

                          DEADPOOL
                Something must've gotten lost in the
                translation.
                    (gives surreptitious thumbs
                     up to Dopinder)
                          (MORE)

                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                        96.
                 Deadpool     Final Shooting Script     11/16/15
61   CONTINUED: (3)                                                           61
                          DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                Seriously. This is no way to win Gita's
                heart. Return Bandhu home safe and
                gentle-like. And then woo Gita with your
                boyish charm...

                          DOPINDER
                Fine, fine. Safe and gentle-like.          Here
                we are...

     Dopinder pulls over and hits the meter.          Then sighs.

                           DOPINDER (CONT'D)
                I too am clairvoyance. I presume a crisp
                high five?

                            DEADPOOL
                For you?    Ten.

                          DOPINDER
                Knock em dead, Pool Boy.

     Deadpool and Dopinder SLAP BOTH HANDS.

                          DEADPOOL
                Time to make the chimichangas.

62   EXT.   SCRAPYARD - DAY                                                   62

     We hear the first bold notes of DMX's `X GON GIVE IT TO YA.'

     DEADPOOL, COLOSSUS, and NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD walk in SLO-
     MO across the scrapyard toward the COMBAT CARRIER.

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                Not often a dude ruins your face.
                Destroys your living. Grabs your future
                baby mama. Personally sees to 8 of your
                10 shittiest life moments. And plans to
                lather-rinse-repeat on a buncha new
                chumps. Let's just say, it's beginning
                to look a lot like Christmas...

     This is as cool as Deadpool has ever looked. Muscles
     sprouting muscles. Katanas gleaming. Then, at the height of
     his coolness, Deadpool STOPS, sensing something amiss.

     DMX cuts out. REGULAR SPEED RESUMES as Deadpool looks down
     to spy his FLY DOWN. He ZIPS it UP, embarrassed.

                          DEADPOOL
                    (to camera)
                It happens. A'ight, cue up DMX again.



                                                                   (CONTINUED)
                                                                       97.
                   Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
62   CONTINUED:                                                              62

                             NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD
                  Wait!   Where's your duffel bag?

                             DEADPOOL
                      (freezes, it's missing)
                  Gahhhhhhh!
                      (pulls out a phone, dials)

63   INT.   TAXI CAB - DAY                                                   63

     DOPINDER drives, head bobbing to a Bhangra Beat, HELLO KITTY
     DUFFEL still sitting in the passenger WHEEL WELL.

     On cue, Dopinder's CELL PHONE RINGS. Dopinder reaches for
     it, then fumbles it away. The phone falls to the floorboard.

     Dopinder looks ahead, sees the approaching traffic light is
     green, ducks down to make a grab, but when he returns his
     eyes to the road, the light is now red.

     Dopinder slams on his brakes. SCREECH! He manages to avoid
     the car in front. BAM! The taxi is REAR-ENDED, its TRUNK
     SMASHED like an accordion. We hear a HOLLER from inside.

                              DOPINDER
                  Bandhu?

64   EXT.   SCRAPYARD - DAY                                                  64

                            DEADPOOL
                      (hears crash)
                  Goddamnit! Never mind. Nothing that
                  can't be fixed by two swords and...
                      (cracks neck)
                  ...maximum effort.
                      (points to imaginary D.J.)
                  Gimme a beat!

     DMX KICKS IN AGAIN.      Deadpool strides forward in SLO-MO.

     As they near the carrier a dozen armed and armored MERCS
     suddenly rise from behind the piles of scrap metal before
     them. Assault weapons raised, ready to fire.

     The trio stops, Colossus stepping in front of NTW, sheltering
     her behind his armored body.

                            ANGEL DUST (O.S.)
                  No one fires!

     Our heroes crane their necks to spy ANGEL DUST standing on
     the edge of the deck above.



                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                      98.
                   Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
64   CONTINUED:                                                             64

                            ANGEL DUST (CONT'D)
                  They're mine.

     Angel Dust LEAPS outward, falls like a stone, HITS the ground
     with a THUNDEROUS impact. The dust clears. She strides over
     the broken ground, smiling, READY for a scrap.

                             DEADPOOL
                  Long term, that's hard on your knees.
                      (ALT:)
                  Super-hero landing! Clearly you're far
                  too much dude for me. Which is why...
                      (points)
                  ...I brought him.

     COLOSSUS steps forward into Angel Dust's path holding a pair
     of Adamantium HANDCUFFS just like he used on Deadpool.

                            COLOSSUS
                  I'd prefer not to hit a woman. So
                  please place your hands behind your-

     BOOM! Without stopping Angel Dust throws a RIGHT HOOK from
     her HEELS. The punch CONNECTS with COLOSSUS's JAW. He goes
     flying, SCRAPING SPARKS ACROSS CONCRETE.

                            DEADPOOL
                      (sighs, points)
                  I also brought her.

     NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD steps forward on Deadpool's right.

     NTW chews her gum. Once. Twice. Then runs TOWARD Angel
     Dust, LOWERS her SHOULDER, and EXPLODES UP toward her with a
     WICKEDLY THUNDEROUS BANG of ENERGY and SOUND.

     Yes, Negasonic Teenage Warhead is exactly that - a living,
     breathing WARHEAD - like her own personal CANNONBALL.

     It's Angel Dust's turn to go flying backward, smashing into -
     and completely trashing - a heavy metal shipping container.

                            DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                  I feel sorry for the guy who tries to
                  pressure her into prom sex.

     Angel Dust regains her feet, smiles dangerously at the Mercs.

                            ANGEL DUST
                  Never mind. Fire.




                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                     99.
                 Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
64   CONTINUED: (2)                                                        64

     Deadpool is already moving as the Mercs OPEN FIRE, full-auto.
     Deadpool grabs the still-woozy NTW and runs to the nearby
     cover of metal scrap, keeping between her and the gunfire.

     Colossus, now back on his feet, strides purposely forward.
     Bullets ping harmlessly off his metal skin. Angel Dust
     charges forward, snarling.

                          DEADPOOL
                    (shouts)
                Finish fucking her the fuck up.

     Colossus stops, annoyed.

                            COLOSSUS
                Language.    Please.

     Then Angel Dust SMASHES into him. The two collide with earth-
     shaking force. The sheer power of Angel Dust's momentum
     slams them backwards into-and through-a huge pile of scrap.

65   INT.   FLIGHT DECK - DAY                                              65

     AJAX pulls VANESSA forward to the edge of the carrier deck,
     forces her gaze downward toward the WAR ZONE below.

                          AJAX
                How does it feel? Ex-boyfriend abandons
                you, becomes a sanity-challenged killer
                mutant in tights...

                          VANESSA
                Says the sanity-challenged killer mutant
                in parachute pants. P.S. I've never
                played the role of damsel in distress.

                            AJAX
                `Til now.

     Ajax yanks Vanessa away from the edge again.

66   EXT. SCRAPYARD - CONTINUOUS                                           66

     Every MERC is pouring fire towards Deadpool's position. He
     hunkers down with NTW, her hands clamped tight over her ears.

     Deadpool unzips a zipper, reaches into his suit at the
     crotch, YANKS. Grimaces. We hear fabric tear. He pulls his
     hand out, waves a pair of torn TIGHTIE-WHITIES up from behind
     cover.




                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                      100.
                  Deadpool   Final Shooting Script     11/16/15
66   CONTINUED:                                                              66

                            DEADPOOL
                  Hey, fellas, whoa! Hold on!        Don'tcha
                  wanna hear my terms?!

     The mercs spot the white `flag.' Fire slackens from full-
     auto to a few pot-shots. Finally, Deadpool pops up.

                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                  You guys only work for that shit-spackled
                  Muppet fart! So I'm gonna give y'all the
                  chance to lay down your firearms in
                  return for preferential - bordering on
                  gentle - possibly even lover-like
                  treatment.

     The Mercs ignore him, opening fire AGAIN with a vengeance.
     Deadpool ducks and drops his tightie-whities.

                            DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                  Fine. Commando.
                      (to NTW)
                  Stay down, kid. Unless your power's
                  stopping bullets.

     Deadpool SURGES forward, dives from cover, rolls.            He comes
     up boot knife out, arm whipping forward-

     The nearest merc's head snaps back as the knife buries itself
     to the hilt in his eye socket.

     Deadpool sprints forward, zig-zagging, leaping, spinning as
     he closes the distance to the mercs. He's moving too fast
     for their guns to track. Bullets chew up the ground behind.

     Deadpool reaches the first pile of twisted metal, slides
     under, comes up behind two mercs taking shelter there. The
     first man turns, gun barrel swinging `round. Deadpool ducks,
     sweeps his legs, grabs his gun as he goes down.

     Deadpool rolls over him, firing BACKWARD into the man's face
     while spinning up to smash his boot into the face of the
     second merc. He slides past, firing a burst backward into
     the merc's neck as he falls.

     Seconds later he's leaping OVER the heads of the next pair of
     mercs. They turn to fire up at him - too slow. He fires
     short, controlled bursts down into their upturned faces.
     BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

     Deadpool lands, tosses the empty smoking gun.          Then slowly,
     lovingly, unsheathes his Katanas.




                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                     101.
                Deadpool      Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
66   CONTINUED: (2)                                                         66

     Deadpool is running forward now, weaving his way through the
     wreckage. Hunting.

67   EXT.   SCRAPYARD - DAY                                                 67

     COLOSSUS and ANGEL DUST engage in a BATTLE ROYALE. Colossus
     grabs Angel Dust by the SCRUFF of her NECK and HURLS her into
     an ABANDONED AIRCRAFT. CRUNCH.

     Angel Dust is on one knee, shaken, disheveled, one BREAST
     hanging out of her torn flak jacket.

     The prim Colossus covers his eyes.

                          COLOSSUS
                Uh... you seem to have, um...

     Angel Dust smiles, tucks the wayward boob back in, then
     BLASTS Colossus with a FLYING KNEE that generates SHOCK WAVES
     so powerful, Colossus' CHROME actually RIPPLES.

     Colossus growls and CHARGES AGAIN.

                                                                  CUT TO:

     DEADPOOL spins around a corner as another pair of MERCS move
     forward, guns raised.

     Deadpool dives under their fire, guts them in blurred flash
     of steel. THRUST! SLICE! IMPALE! COMPLETE MAYHEM.

     Another trio of mercs rush around the corner, opening fire as
     they see their comrades fall. DEADPOOL runs toward them,
     flips and dodges like a whirling dervish, bringing GUARDS
     down in surgical, artistic fashion, as if where he's killing
     them means as much to him as how.

     Two men converge    on Deadpool. He JUMPS. Mid-air, he flips
     his TWO KATANAS,    GRIPS them upside-down like ICE PICKS, and
     STABS down in an    arc to either side, SKEWERING two men
     through the TOPS    of their HELMETS.

     A final merc comes around the corner and Deadpool spins,
     slices the strap of his gun, kicks the man in the chest,
     knocking him flat on his back and sitting on his face.

                          DEADPOOL
                Tea-bag!
                    (notices man under him)
                Bob?!

                            BOB
                Wade?!


                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                     102.
                  Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
67   CONTINUED:                                                             67

                            DEADPOOL
                  It's been since... Jacksonville!

                            BOB
                  TGIFridays.

                            DEADPOOL
                  Liked the Loaded Potato Skins.     Didn't
                  like you.

                             BOB
                  Ditto.

     Deadpool rises and pulls Bob to his feet. Bob tries to draw
     a pistol but DP slaps it out of his hand, sends it skittering
     away.

                            DEADPOOL
                  Bob, y'mind taking a half-step right?
                  No, your right. Never mind-

     Deadpool KNOCKS Bob OUT with the sword's GRIP, then NUDGES
     him sideways gently as he falls.

     At last, SILENCE. Deadpool steps forward.           Then looks up
     toward the carrier above, waves.

                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                  Yoo-hoo!

     From above, AJAX peers down sees that Deadpool has killed his
     henchmen in such precise positions that their fallen bodies
     spell out:

     FRANCIS.

     Deadpool moves forward.       LIMPING.   CHARRED.   TATTERED.   But
     unbowed.

                            AJAX
                  That never gets old.    But neither will
                  you.

     Right on cue...

     ...three more Mercs appear to either side of Ajax, armed with
     HEAVY MACHINE GUNS - much NASTIER than any we've yet seen.

     BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! The guards OPEN FIRE, and a BARRAGE of
     bullets rain down on the scrapyard, chewing up the landscape
     around Deadpool.




                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                   103.
               Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
67   CONTINUED: (2)                                                       67

     Deadpool SPRINTS back toward cover, weaving, leaping, zig-
     zagging to avoid being hit. He dives behind some wreckage as
     more gunfire pings off the metal.

     DEADPOOL, pokes his head up, drawing a withering barrage of
     fire from the mercs above.

                           NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD (O.S.)
               Hey!

     ANGLE ON: NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD, also taking cover,
     crouched under a broken PLANE WING.

                           NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD (CONT'D)
               Climb on.

     Deadpool nods, then sprints toward her, springs high, flips,
     and lands on his back, spread eagled on the wing.

                         DEADPOOL
               Light the candle...

     NTW nonchalantly SPITS out her GUM, crouches, and... EXPLODES
     UPWARD. The wing LAUNCHES up in a shallow PARABOLA, Deadpool
     CLINGING for dear life on TOP.

68   EXT. FLIGHT DECK - CONTINUOUS                                         68

     Four MERCS continue firing down as the wing soars up.

     The WING SMASHES into them.    All four go FLYING.       Two end up
     DEAD under the wing.

     AJAX is thrown backward.

     One MERC lands, stunned, close to the edge.     A LONG BEAT.

     AJAX rises to his feet.

     Then DEADPOOL pulls himself UP over the edge of the carrier
     and ROLLS onto the deck. He looks like he's been through a
     meat grinder - limping, scorched, bloody.

     Deadpool staggers to his feet.    The last injured MERC lamely
     tries to GRAB his ANKLE.

                         DEADPOOL
               Your plan to trip me to death?      Has
               failed.

     Deadpool nonchalantly STABS him through the back of the neck
     like a butterfly on a display, then turns to face Ajax.



                                                              (CONTINUED)
                                                                      104.
                  Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
68   CONTINUED:                                                              68

     Twenty meters away, AJAX leans casually against... what else?
     THE PUNCH-BOWL. VANESSA is STRAPPED inside, lid open.

                            DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                  You were right, babe.
                      (wipes blood off sword)
                  Red is my color.

                              VANESSA
                  Wade?

                            AJAX
                      (taps glass)
                  What better way to climb back in your
                  head...

                            DEADPOOL
                  You never left.

                            VANESSA
                      (to Deadpool)
                  But you did, asshole.

                            AJAX
                  You two have a lot to work out. Take a
                  deep breath. Wait. Wrong choice...

     Ajax quickly CLOSES the LID and hits a SWITCH.         Vanessa
     starts taking short, desperate GASPS.

                            AJAX (CONT'D)
                  ...of words.

                            DEADPOOL
                  I hope they blocked pain to your every
                  last nerve. `Cause I'm'a go looking.

     Ajax squats down and picks up TWO STEEL-HAFTED FIRE-FIGHTING
     AXES, each with an ULTRA-SHARP BLADE on one side of its head
     and an EQUALLY SHARP CLAW on the other.

     Deadpool raises a KATANA and HURLS it NOT at Ajax, but the
     PUNCH-BOWL. The blade PENETRATES the PLEXI and tears into
     the RESTRAINT holding Vanessa's RIGHT WRIST, partly FRAYING
     it. AIR seeps through the CRACK. Vanessa catches a tiny
     BREATH. She TUGS on the frayed RESTRAINT.

                            AJAX
                  I hear you grow back parts. When I get
                  done... parts will have to grow back you.

                              DEADPOOL
                  Good one.


                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                  105.
                Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
68   CONTINUED: (2)                                                      68

     A big BOOMING sound from below and then the deck of the
     carrier shakes as if from a mild earthquake. Ajax and
     Deadpool look at each other. Shrug.

                           DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                Let's dance.
                    (beat)
                And by dance I mean try to kill each
                other.

69   EXT.   SCRAPYARD - CONTINUOUS                                       69

     BAM!   Below, COLOSSUS delivers a HAYMAKER from hell itself.

     Angel Dust FALLS, then RISES, RIPS OFF the WING of a PLANE,
     and BLASTS Colossus with it... first like a BASEBALL BAT,
     then like a GOLF CLUB, then like a COUNTY FAIR MALLETS you
     use to try to ring a bell. CLANG!

     A battered NTW RACES toward Angel Dust. Angel Dust swings
     the wing, but NTW BASEBALL SLIDES UNDER it and EXPLODES up
     into her chin.

     Angel Dust is lifted off her feet into the side of the
     carrier, BUCKLING some of its supports. NTW rolls aside.

70   EXT. FLIGHT DECK - CONTINUOUS                                       70

     And now, we get what we've been long been waiting for:

     THE FINAL CLOSE QUARTERS BATTLE between DEADPOOL AND AJAX.
     AXES vs. KATANA, TEN STORIES UP...

     AJAX TAKES a MIGHTY, ROARING SWING with an AXE.

                           DEADPOOL
                Yowww!

     STEEL SINGS as AXE and KATANA meet again and again.        THRUSTS.
     PARRIES. SPARKS FLY!

     THUNK! Deadpool's BLADE passes through Ajax's THIGH and pins
     him to a piece of wreckage.

     CRACK!   Ajax tags Deadpool's head with the FLAT of an axe.

     SNAP! Ajax BREAKS the sword's blade with an AXE, not feeling
     anything as he slides his leg off the sword.

     GASP! VANESSA grits her teeth, pulls against the restraints.
     The thick nylon begins to tear as she saws it against the
     katana blade.



                                                              (CONTINUED)
                                                                    106.
                  Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
70   CONTINUED:                                                            70

     CLANG! AJAX wields both axes in a red blur of painted steel.
     Deadpool snatches up a piece of rusted RAILING from the deck,
     barely blocks Ajax's windmilling swings.

     Finally, Ajax smashes the length of rusty metal from
     Deadpool's hands with one axe, while the sharp CLAW END of
     the other buries itself in Deadpool's FOREARM. Deadpool
     hollers.

     Deadpool's red suit has torn away, and the SKULL of his
     TATTOO bleeds from a HOLE in its FOREHEAD.

     Deadpool GRITS his TEETH and YANKS the AXE from Ajax's grasp.
     A spinning KICK sends the second axe flying after the first.

     Now they're completely unarmed.

                             AJAX
                  Fine.   Fists.

                            DEADPOOL
                  Sounds like your last Saturday night.
                      (smiles)
                  The sense of humor survived.

     AJAX and DEADPOOL TRADE VICIOUS PUNCHES.        It's HAGLER vs.
     HEARNS! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

     Inspired, VANESSA strains against the torn nylon. RRRRIPPP!
     Her right wrist TEARS FREE. She uses her freed hand to start
     unlatching her other restraints.

     DEADPOOL throws short, blinding PUNCHES - rat-a-tat-tat -
     into AJAX's jaw.

                            DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                  Since you can't feel it?
                      (holds up an INCISOR)
                  I just knocked out your tooth.

     AJAX snarls, drives a SHOULDER into Deadpool, then MOUNTS him
     and BLUDGEONS his face with HAMMER-LIKE FISTS.

     DEADPOOL is starting to LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS when he turns his
     head to one side and spies the PUNCH-BOWL.

     We RACK FOCUS to VANESSA locking eyes with him from inside.
     Hers is an inspired... and INSPIRING look of LOVE.

     We hear a REPRISE of JOHN DENVER's `I WANT TO LIVE.'




                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                     107.
                Deadpool      Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
70   CONTINUED: (2)                                                         70

     VANESSA pushes against the sealed door of the punchbowl with
     all her might. With a squeal of metal the latch breaks, the
     twisted metal flying off the lid as it slams open.

     Vanessa grabs the KATANA, jerks it free with another mighty
     effort. Then slides down the containers toward AJAX. With a
     fierce scream, she PLUNGES the blade into his KIDNEY. The
     blade punches through the other side but Ajax feels no pain,
     YANKS out the katana, and THROWS Vanessa aside violently.

     But it's all the opportunity Deadpool needs. He SURGES with
     energy and throws an THUNDEROUS UPPERCUT, BLASTING Ajax off.

                          JOHN DENVER
                I want to liiiiiive!

71   EXT.   SCRAPYARD - DAY                                                 71

     Below: WHOOSH, BAM! Angel Dust ducks an exhausted
     Colossus's punch and KICKS him THROUGH another STEEL SUPPORT.
     Colossus COLLAPSES. The carrier GROANS.

     Angel Dust moves in for the KILL.        Only out of nowhere...

     ...NTW strikes her in the chops and EXPLODES, sending the
     larger woman SMASHING into concrete with UNPRECEDENTED FORCE.

     Now it's Angel Dust's turn to be broken, smoking, seemingly
     down for the count. NTW approaches carefully to make certain
     it's all over...

     ...but Angel Dust shoots out an arm and GRABS her... DRAGS
     her in CLOSE... makes to SMASH her head like a walnut.

                          ANGEL DUST
                C'mere, ya little bitch.

     NTW fights back valiantly, PUNCHING fast and hard with
     FLURRIES of ENERGY. Angel Dust is scorched and battered by
     the blows, but her adrenaline and rage SURGE. She grabs NTW
     around the neck, plants her into the ground...

     ...and begins to CHOKE the life out of her.        NTW flails,
     cannot break Angel Dust's grip...

     ...but marshals her last remaining energy to live up to her
     name...

     ...and EXPLODE like an ALMIGHTY WARHEAD.         BOOM!

     CUT WIDE to a GARGANTUAN EXPLOSION.




                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                    108.
                  Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
71   CONTINUED:                                                            71

     The ship SHAKES VIOLENTLY, then starts to LIST at a DANGEROUS
     ANGLE.

72   EXT.   FLIGHT DECK / CONTINUOUS                                       72

     DEADPOOL and AJAX are trading BLOWS again when the DECK SWAYS
     as if hit by a 9.0 EARTHQUAKE. Then with a thunderous,
     shuddering, groaning of metal the whole carrier begins to
     tilt.

     Loose wreckage begins to slide and tumble past. A shipping
     container barrels towards them and Deadpool kicks Ajax
     backwards, right into its path. SLAM! It plows into him and
     carries him with it as it disappears over the side.

     Deadpool scrambles and claws up the tilting floor and grabs
     hold of Vanessa.

     Deadpool looks around frantically...

     ...and then spies the PUNCH-BOWL, sliding toward them.

     Deadpool grabs the side as it slides past and throws VANESSA
     inside and SHUTS the LID for protection...

     They slam into the twisted metal railings at the bottom of
     the deck and hang there. Deadpool swings by one hand and
     stares at the scrapyard below. Huge chunks of metal slide
     and smash past to tumble to the ground a hundred feet below.

     Vanessa hangs onto Deadpool for dear life, her eyes locked on
     his...

                            VANESSA
                  If we survive this.   I'm gonna kill you.

                            DEADPOOL
                  We have so much to catch up on.

     ...as the CARRIER topples in an AVALANCHE of STEEL!

     An EPIC collapse of SHRIEKING METAL. Flying glass. Nearly
     seismic booms. A mushroom CLOUD of thick, black destruction.

                                                       FADE TO BLACK.

73   EXT.   SCRAPYARD - RUBBLE PILE - DAY                                  73

     Black. A crack of light appears, dust sifting down through
     the beam.




                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                      109.
                  Deadpool     Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
73   CONTINUED:                                                              73

     More light, more dust and debris pattering down onto-some
     kind of scratched glass in front of the lens. Finally a hole
     of bright sky fills the frame.

                                                                   CUT TO:

     COLOSSUS vigorously TOSSING aside MASSIVE SLABS of STEEL as
     he digs through the wreckage, uncovering the PUNCH-BOWL,
     damaged, but intact. The LID CREAKS OPEN - pushed by
     Vanessa's TREMBLING HAND.

     Vanessa climbs out dazed, dusty, coughing.

                               COLOSSUS
                  You're OK.     Take it slow.

     Elsewhere in the rubble pile DEADPOOL's HEAD POPS UP from
     some DEBRIS, again, like the Caddyshack gopher.

                               DEADPOOL
                  I'm good.

     Deadpool is just staggering to his feet when AJAX emerges
     from under another BEAM and TACKLES him.

                            DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                  ¡Caramba!
                      (subtitled, in YELLOW:)
                  For heaven's sake!

     The impact sends them both flying, rolling, over the edge of
     a metal container. They fall locked together, punching and
     grappling. They bounce/slide down the pile of rubble.

     Deadpool gets the better of the grappling and lands on AJAX's
     CHEST. He goes to TOWN with vicious FOREARMS and ELBOWS.

                             DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                  Wham!   Wham! Wham!

     BAM! BAM! BAM. Bam. You can feel Deadpool's adrenalized
     catharsis. Ajax tries to block-CRACK! Deadpool shatters his
     elbow. Ajax other fist swings round, tags Deadpool, but he
     catches it, wraps it tight-SNAP!

     Ajax finally goes limp, both arms bent in horribly wrong
     directions.

                            DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                      (thrilled/exhausted)
                  There are no words.




                                                                  (CONTINUED)
                                                                     110.
               Deadpool       Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
73   CONTINUED: (2)                                                         73

     Deadpool pulls out BLIND AL's SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL and AIMS
     it right BETWEEN AJAX's EYES.

                          DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
               Me and you are headed to fix this face.
               Or else...

     Deadpool places a piece of paper onto Ajax's chest.

     Ajax shakes off the cobwebs and examines the paper; it's
     Deadpool's CRAYON DRAWING of Ajax getting his brains blown
     out. Ajax actually LAUGHS.

                         AJAX
               Sorry. It's just. All this time, you
               bought that I have the cure? I'm
               flattered. But do I really look like the
               scientist type? You want the guy behind
               the guy. His name's Dr. Killebrew. And
               he's long gone. Who knows where.

                              DEADPOOL
               Um.    What?

                         AJAX
               You heard me.

                         DEADPOOL
               You mean to say, after five long years,
               I've been chasing the wrong monkey?

                         AJAX
               Sounds even stupider when you say it.

                          DEADPOOL
               Like the kind of stupid who admits he
               can't do the one thing I'm keeping him
               alive for?
                   (chambers a round)
               Any last words? Good. I got one:
                   (pulls back the hammer)
               Francis.

                              COLOSSUS (O.S.)
               Wade!

     Deadpool turns to see Colossus, hands on hips, looking extra
     HEROIC. NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD is STANDING at his SIDE.

                         COLOSSUS (CONT'D)
               Four or five moments.




                                                                 (CONTINUED)
                                                                    111.
                Deadpool     Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
73   CONTINUED: (3)                                                        73

                             DEADPOOL
                I'm sorry?

                          COLOSSUS
                Four or five moments.      That's all it
                takes...

                             DEADPOOL
                To...?

                          COLOSSUS
                Be a hero. Everyone thinks it's a full
                time job. Wake up a hero. Brush your
                teeth a hero. Go to work a hero. Not
                true. Over a lifetime, there are only
                four or five moments that really matter.
                Moments when you're offered a choice. To
                make a sacrifice. Conquer a flaw. Save
                a friend. Spare an enemy.

     Deadpool continues to hold the pistol to Ajax's head.

                          COLOSSUS (CONT'D)
                In those moments, everything else falls
                away. The way the world sees us. The
                way we see oursel-

     BOOM!   OFF-SCREEN, A GUNSHOT.

                          COLOSSUS (CONT'D)
                    (dry-heaves again)
                Huuugglh! Why!

     REVERSE ANGLE to Deadpool, who's just shot AJAX in the head
     with Blind Al's SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL.

                          DEADPOOL
                You were droning on!
                    (shrugs)
                I may be stuck looking like pepperoni
                flatbread, but at least we've heard the
                last of him. If wearing super-hero
                tights means sparing psychopaths, maybe I
                wasn't meant to wear `em. Not everyone
                monitors a hall like you.

                          COLOSSUS
                Just promise-

                          DEADPOOL
                I'll be on the lookout for the next four
                moments.
                          (MORE)


                                                                (CONTINUED)
                                                                 112.
               Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
73   CONTINUED: (4)                                                     73
                         DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                   (peers between Colossus and
                    NTW)
               Now if you'll excuse me. I'm just a
               boy... about to stand in front of a
               girl... and tell her- what the fuck am I
               gonna tell her?!

     CUT TO: Deadpool's P.O.V. BETWEEN Colossus and NTW of
     VANESSA, who's now walking quickly TOWARD him. She brushes
     between the two X-men and without saying a word, GRABS the
     fallen PISTOL and PUMPS TWO EXTRA BULLETS into Ajax's corpse.

                          VANESSA
                   (bang)
               Gratuitous.
                   (bang)
               Worth it.

                         DEADPOOL
                   (to camera)
               Anyone else turned on?
                   (to Vanessa)
               That's what I love about y-

     Vanessa promptly PUNCHES Deadpool in the face.

                         DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
               I totally deserved that!
                   (gets punched again)
               That too!
                   (wards off knee)
               Maybe not the nethers.

     Vanessa restrains herself, then TURNS HER BACK, overcome.

                         VANESSA
               Start talking.

                          DEADPOOL
               I'm so sorry. For leaving. And taking
               so long to cowboy up. It's been a rough
               few years.

                         VANESSA
                   (snorts, dismissive)
               Rough?

                         DEADPOOL
               I live in a crack house. With a family
               of twelve. At night, we spoon for
               warmth. Everyone fights for Noelle.
               She's the fattest.
                         (MORE)


                                                             (CONTINUED)
                                                                 113.
               Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
73   CONTINUED: (5)                                                     73
                         DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
               There's nothing we don't share.    Floor
               space. Dental floss. Condoms.

                         VANESSA
               So you live in a house!
                   (turns to face him)

                         DEADPOOL
               I woulda found you before now. But the
               guy behind this mask isn't the same guy
               you remember.

                         VANESSA
               You mean this mask?

     Deadpool FLINCHES but doesn't STOP Vanessa from slowly,
     gently taking OFF his mask, revealing underneath... HUGH
     JACKMAN's `SEXIEST MAN ALIVE' People MAGAZINE COVER. Blood
     at the pierce points. Mouth/eyes cut out to make a `mask.'

                         DEADPOOL
               And this one. In case the other fell
               off.

                         VANESSA
               You mean like this?

     Vanessa starts PULLING OUT staples.

                          DEADPOOL
               Oo. Ah.    Quicker - like a Bandaid!    Owww-
               di 5000.

     One last staple remains.   Vanessa hesitates.

                          DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
               Sure?

                         VANESSA
               Sure I'm sure.

     She PULLS it out. The photo FALLS, revealing DEADPOOL's
     SCARS. And two vulnerable, misty eyes. A beat.

                          VANESSA (CONT'D)
               Ew.

                         DEADPOOL
                   (devastated)
               I understand.




                                                             (CONTINUED)
                                                                   114.
               Deadpool   Final Shooting Script     11/16/15
73   CONTINUED: (6)                                                       73

                          VANESSA
                   (smiles)
               Kidding! Get over yourself!        I'd hit
               that shit.

                         DEADPOOL
               You already did.
                   (rubs chin)
               Twice. Seriously?

                          VANESSA
                   (nods)
               After a brief adjustment period and one
               or two drinks.
                   (smiles)
               It's a face... I'd be happy to sit on.

     Vanessa hooks Deadpool's PINKIE with HERS, PULLS him in to
     kiss him.

                         DEADPOOL
               I'm also not the same under these pants.
                   (whispers)
               Super-penis.

     Deadpool and Vanessa are ABOUT to kiss when...

                         NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD (O.S.)
               1975 called.

     Deadpool realizes COLOSSUS and NTW are still standing
     WATCHING.

                         NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD (CONT'D)
               It wants its peep show back.

                         DEADPOOL
               Gah! What the hell are you two still
               doing here?!
                   (to Colossus)
               You, go clean some chalk-board erasers,
               or be a... really Big Brother, or teach
               fat kids to eat lettuce.
                   (to NTW)
               And you, Chicken Noodle. Well...
                   (freezes)
               I feel something stupid coming on.
                   (bounces)
               Gaaaaaaahhhhhh!




                                                               (CONTINUED)
                                                              115.
               Deadpool    Final Shooting Script   11/16/15
73   CONTINUED: (7)                                                  73

                         NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD
               It's alright.
                   (beat, tiniest of smiles)
               You're cool.

                         DEADPOOL
                   (STARES, elated)
               I am?! Omigod. That. Was. Not. Mean!
               Seriously, guys, it was a pleasure. For
               a second there, we felt like... like...
                   (we expect `family')
               ...five mini lion robots forming a large
               super robot.

                         NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD
               There's the stupid.

                         DEADPOOL
               Now, I meant it, both of you, fire up the
               Blackbird and shoo! Scram! Vamoose!
               Skedaddle! Don't make me keep thinking
               of these!

     They smile, shake their heads, and walk off.

     Deadpool turns back to Vanessa.

                         DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
               Where were we, darlin'? Oh, riiight.
               The best part.

     Deadpool KISSES Vanessa. The little kiss become a BIGGER
     ONE. Then... fading up from nowhere, with a slightly tinny
     quality... we hear WHAM!'s `CARELESS WHISPER.' Vanessa pulls
     back, puzzled. Deadpool raises his ANDROID. On the cracked
     and dirty screen, George's and Andrew's FACES beam from
     Wham!'s `MAKE IT BIG' album cover.

                           DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
               `Wham!'    As promised.

     The two share the longest kiss yet.

                         DEADPOOL (V.O.)
               See, life can smell like Daffodil
               Daydream. So if you're sitting out there
               in your own personal Punch-Bowl. Ms.
               Mama June on your tongue. Find someone
               to hold... and someone to hold on to you.
               Life's next little train wreck...
                                                              116.
                Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15



74   INT.   NEW WORKSHOP - DAY                                       74

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                ..will be so much easier if you do.

     We find ourselves in a newer, spiffier version of the
     WORKSHOP, where a LAB TECHNICIAN is strapping down a new
     sickly VOLUNTEER/VICTIM.

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                Which brings us to shittiest moment
                number 1! The guy behind the guy, Dr.
                Killebrew, off scot-free.

     A SILHOUETTED FIGURE approaches the bed of the nervous
     volunteer, who smiles weakly.

                          VOLUNTEER
                Can you make me better?

     REVERSE ANGLE to reveal whom he's talking to: the PUDGY,
     KINDLY-LOOKING DOCTOR WHO STROKED WADE'S HEAD IN THE
     WORKSHOP. He smiles, pats the volunteer's wrist.

                          DR. KILLEBREW
                Better than better.

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                But let's look on the bright side.
                    (sniffs)
                You smell what I smell? I mean besides
                stale popcorn and my post-fight man-funk?

     Dr. Killebrew holds up a syringe with a glint in his eye.

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                Sequel. Maybe even one of those ensemble
                team movies...

75   EXT.   SCRAPYARD - RUBBLE PILE - DAY                            75

     DEADPOOL and Vanessa MAKE OUT LIKE CRAZY, LONG AND HARD. We
     slowly PULL BACK until they look SMALL against the toppled
     hulk of the COMBAT CARRIER.

                          DEADPOOL (V.O.)
                So, `til next time, this is your friendly
                neighborhood pool guy saying... I'm never
                gonna dance again... the way I danced
                with you.

     WHAM BELTS OUT `CARELESS WHISPER' as we ROLL CREDITS.
                                                                 117.
                 Deadpool   Final Shooting Script   11/16/15



V76   INT.   SUBURBAN HOME - DAY - POST CREDIT SEQUENCE                 V76

      A hallway of a suburban home.    DEADPOOL enters in a maroon
      and gray striped robe.

                           DEADPOOL
                     (short version)
                 You're still here? It's over! Go home.
                 Wait... you expected a tease for Deadpool
                 2?! Sorry, we're low on dough. But if
                 you can keep a secret, I can tell you
                 who's gonna be in it. Cable! Someone
                 suggested Mel Gibson for the role, buuuut-
                 I was thinking Liam Neeson. Only
                 problem, Liam likes to get paid. And
                 more for Liam means less for me. Maybe
                 we'll crowdfund the shit. Just you and
                 me, kids. Shalom!

                           DEADPOOL (CONT'D)
                     (long version)
                 You're still here? It's over! Go home.
                 Wait... you expected a tease for Deadpool
                 2?! Maybe a little Samuel L. Jackson?
                 Sorry, that budget went to Weasel's
                 Ketamine habit. But if you can keep a
                 secret, I can tell you who's gonna be in
                 it. Cable! You're allowed to show your
                 pleasure. I'd love Liam Neeson for the
                 role, but Liam likes to get paid. And
                 more for Liam means less for me. So we'd
                 best crowdfund the shit. Depending on
                 your level of giving, you could receive a
                 Colossus-brand desktop steel-ball
                 clacker, a Dwayne `The Rock' Johnson real
                 doll, or four minutes alone in a room
                 with Charlie Sheen.   Donate now! And
                 shalom!

                                                         SMASH CUT TO
                                                               BLACK:

                           DEADPOOL (O.S.) (CONT'D)
                     (a la Ferris)
                 Boom, boom, chicka chickah...