my MIL, she's a horrible woman and has been vile to me & my kids countless times over the years. Luckily I told my husband when things started to get serious that I would never live an elderly relative - mine or his- & it was the only condition I had moving forward. He agreed straight away. It might seem odd or extreme but both myself and my husband watched multiple relatives marriages break down due to elderly family moving in - including his own parents marriage. It's not a risk either of us are willing to take a chance on