Do I just have the mental illness (being trans)? I would just go monk mode and suppress it. Am I transitioned? If I look good I'll just stay as is but if I look like most trans I will just start taking trenbolone and get my ass to the gym to detransition, and save up for gyno surgery of course. Have I gotten the axe wound surgery? I would have to kill myself immediately, life is not worth living at that point.