text: President Obama and Mitt Romney share a laugh at the 67th Annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in New York City. Mario Tama/Getty Images 
   
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   resident Obama and GOP challenger Mitt Romney set aside their hard-hitting presidential race for a few hours on Thursday night to break bread at the 67th annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation dinner, a white-tie charity fundraiser thrown by the Catholic Archdiocese of New York. "It's traditional for both major party candidates to attend the benefit, perform a short stand-up routine, then pretend it isn't awkward to have dinner together during the most heated time in the campaign," says Margaret Hartmann at New York. Both candidates landed some good punchlines, poking fun at each other, themselves, and (of course) Vice President Joe Biden. (Watch some highlights below.) Here are some of their best one-liners: 
   
   Introductions: 
   
   Romney: "Usually when I get invited to gatherings like this, it's to be the designated driver." 
   
   Obama: "Everyone please take your seats. Otherwise Clint Eastwood will yell at them." 
   
   The debates: 
   
   Obama: "This is the third time that Governor Romney and I have met recently. Some of you may have noticed, I had a lot more energy in our second debate. I felt really well-rested after the nice long nap I had in the first debate." 
   
   Romney: "People seem to be very curious just as to how we prepare for the debates. Let me tell you what I do. First, refrain from alcohol for 65 years before the debate. Second, find the biggest available straw man and then just mercilessly attack it: Big Bird didn't even see it coming." 
   
   Obama: "I learned there are worse things that can happen to you on your anniversary than forgetting to buy a gift." 
   
   Romney's wealth: 
   
   Obama: "Earlier today I went shopping at some stores in Midtown. I understand Gov. Romney went shopping for some stores in Midtown." 
   
   Romney (in white-tie attire): "A campaign can require a lot of wardrobe changes — blue jeans in the morning perhaps, suits for lunch fundraisers, a sport coat for dinner. But it's nice to finally relax and to wear what Ann and I wear around the house." 
   
   Running mates: 
   
   Romney: "I was actually hoping the president would bring Joe Biden along this evening, because he'll laugh at anything." 
   
   Obama: "I've heard some people say, 'Barack, you're not as young as you used to be. Where's that golden smile? Where's that pep in your step?' And I say, 'Settle down, Joe, I'm trying to run a cabinet meeting.'" 
   
   Romney: "Campaigns can be grueling, exhausting. President Obama and I are each very lucky to have one person who is always in our corner, someone who we can lean on, and someone who is a comforting presence, without whom we wouldn't be able to go another day. I have my beautiful wife, Ann; he has Bill Clinton." 
   
   Obama: "Sometimes it feels like this race has dragged on forever, but Paul Ryan assured me that we've only been running for two hours and fifty-something minutes." 
   
   Miscellaneous: 
   
   Romney: "I've already seen early reports from tonight's dinner — headline: 'Obama Embraced by Catholics. Romney Dines With Rich People.'" 
   
   Obama: "Of course, world affairs are a challenge for every candidate. After all, some of you guys remember after my foreign trip in 2008 I was attacked as a celebrity because I was so popular with our allies overseas. And I have to say, I'm impressed with how well Gov. Romney has avoided that problem." 
   
   Romney: "As President Obama surveys the Waldorf banquet room with everyone in white tie and refinery, you have to wonder what he's thinking. 'So little time, so much to redistribute.'" 
   
   Sources: AP, Capital New York, Government Executive (2), The Los Angeles Times, MSN Now (2), NBC News, New York, Reuters, The Washington Post 
   
   Read more political coverage at The Week's 2012 Election Center. ||||| NEW YORK — Two nights after one of the most contentious debates in modern presidential history, President Obama and Mitt Romney put aside their political differences on Thursday night to trade jokes and playfully roast each other. 
   
   Dressed in white tie at a glittering dinner in midtown Manhattan, the two men delivered speeches at the Alfred E. Smith Dinner, the Catholic Archdiocese of New York’s annual charity benefit that every four years hosts the presidential candidates for a lighthearted break from the grueling campaign.“This is the third time that Governor Romney and I have met recently,” Obama said. “Some of you may have noticed, I had a lot more energy in our second debate. I felt really well rested after the nice long nap I had in the first debate.” 
   
   Romney, sitting with his wife Ann a couple seats down on the dais at the Waldorf-Astoria hotel, laughed. “It’s taken New York’s highest spiritual authority to get us back on our best behavior,” Romney quipped. 
   
   The Republican nominee began his roast by making light of his stiff persona. 
   
   “A campaign can require a lot of wardrobe changes — blue jeans in the morning, perhaps, suits for a lunch fundraiser, sport coat for dinner — but it’s nice to finally relax and wear what Ann and I wear around the house,” Romney said. 
   
   And he singled out New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, also seated at the dais, with a joking reference to his own political resume. Cuomo, he said, is “already being talked about for higher office. A very impressive fellow, but he may be getting a little ahead of himself. I mean, let me get this straight: The man has put in one term as a governor, he has a father who happened to be a governor and he thinks that’s enough to run for president?” 
   
   But Romney seemed to aim more of his humor at the president than at himself. “Of course, we’re down to the final months of the president’s term. As President Obama surveys the Waldorf banquet room with everybody in white tie and finery you have to wonder what he’s thinking: ‘So little time, so much to redistribute.’” 
   
   Romney added that he and Obama are both “very lucky to have one person who’s always in our corner, someone who we can lean on and someone who is a comforting presence without whom we wouldn’t be able to go another day. I have my beautiful wife, Ann; he has Bill Clinton.” 
   
   And Romney took a shot at the press, joking that he had “already seen early reports from tonight’s dinner. Headline: ‘Obama Embraced by Catholics, Romney Dines with Rich People.’” 
   
   Obama, following Romney at the podium, began his roast by asking everyone to “please take their seats. Otherwise Clint Eastwood will yell at them.” 
   
   The president twice made light of his performance in the first debate on Oct. 3, which was also his and Michelle’s wedding anniversary. “There are worse things that can happen to you on your anniversary than forgetting to buy a gift,” Obama quipped. 
   
   But he offered a preview of the third debate. “Monday’s debate is a little bit different because the topic is foreign policy,” Obama said. “Spoiler alert: We got Bin Laden.” 
   
   Noting that “Mitt” is actually Romney’s middle name, Obama said, “I wish I could use my middle name.” (The president’s middle name is Hussein.) 
   
   Obama took some shots at his rival, too, saying, “Earlier today I went shopping at some stores in Midtown. I understand Governor Romney went shopping for some stores in Midtown.” 
   
   And the president made light of Romney’s tumultuous overseas trip this summer, in which the Republican angered the British people by questioning London’s readiness to host the Olympics. 
   
   “Of course, world affairs are a challenge for every candidate,” Obama said. “After my foreign trip in 2008, I was attacked as a celebrity because I was so popular with our allies overseas. And I have to say, I’m impressed with how well Governor Romney has avoided that problem.” At that, Obama looked over to make eye contact with Romney and the two laughed. 
   
   Both candidates used Vice President Biden as a punching bag. Obama remarked how much had changed since he first addressed this dinner in 2008. “I’ve heard some people say, ‘Barack, you’re not as young as you used to be. Where’s that golden smile? Where’s that pep in your step?’ And I say, ‘Settle down, Joe, I’m trying to run a cabinet meeting.’” 
   
   Al Smith IV, the great-grandson of the dinner’s namesake, who was a former New York governor and the first Catholic nominated for president, shared some jokes of his own while introducing Obama and Romney. Acknowledging the women in the room, Smith referenced Romney’s controversial remark in Tuesday night’s debate by saying, “It’s good to see who’s getting out of those binders.” 
   
   Later, Smith congratulated Romney for giving more than 10 percent of his income to charity. But, he joked, “the charity is the federal government.” 
   
   He took a shot at Obama, too. “We recognize that you have some challenges this year. It’s never good when your opponent has produced more sons than you have jobs.” 
   
   
   
   Smith also poked fun at Cardinal Timothy Dolan, the archbishop of New York and a man of considerable girth, who sat between the two candidates. He joked that they were separated by a “vast expanse.” ||||| President Obama and Mitt Romney finally found something they could agree on during Thursday night’s 67th annual Al Smith white-tie charity dinner: Jokes about Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. get big laughs. 
   
   “I’ve heard some people say, ‘Barack, you’re not as young as you used to be. Where’s that golden smile? Where’s that pep in your step?’ ” Mr. Obama said. “And I say, ‘Settle down, Joe. I’m trying to run a cabinet meeting here.’ ” 
   
   Speaking of Mr. Biden’s animated debate performance, Mr. Romney said: “I heard from the Federal Election Commission: From now on, whenever he appears on TV, there’s a recording of me afterward that says, ‘I’m Mitt Romney and I approve this message.’ ” He added, “I was actually hoping the president would bring Joe Biden along this evening because he will laugh at anything.” 
   
   In a campaign notable for the contempt in which Mr. Romney and Mr. Obama at times seem to hold each other, the dinner at the Waldorf-Astoria to benefit Catholic charities — one of the quadrennial proving grounds on the road to the White House — also lived up to its other billing: a respite, however brief, from a campaign that has grown nastier as it has grown closer, illustrated just a few nights ago during a heated, in-your-face debate at Hofstra University. 
   
   The equally skillful performances on Thursday night of Mr. Obama and Mr. Romney almost seemed jarring for how civil and self-deprecating each could be in the other’s presence — even as they lacerated their rivals’ campaign missteps. “We were chatting pleasantly this evening as if Tuesday night never happened,” Mr. Romney said. 
   
   Mr. Romney, the Republican presidential nominee, began his speech by saying that, “It’s nice to finally relax and wear what Ann and I wear around the house.” 
   
   Noting the large and wealthy audience before them, he said of Mr. Obama: “You have to wonder what he is thinking — so little time, so much to redistribute.” And he took a poke at Mr. Obama’s “you didn’t build that” statement, saying the apostle St. Peter had “so many skeptics and scoffers at the time who were heard to say, ‘If you got a church, you didn’t build that.’ ” 
   
   Mr. Romney also shared his secrets for debate preparation: “First, refrain from alcohol for 65 years before the debate. Second, find the biggest available straw man, and then just mercilessly attack him. Big Bird didn’t even see it coming.” And he joked that while he leans on his wife for comfort and support, he said Mr. Obama “has Bill Clinton.” 
   
   Mr. Romney also took his swipes at the news media. “My job is to lay out a positive vision for the future of the country, and their job is to make sure no one else finds out about it,” he said. And anticipating the coverage of the dinner, he joked that tomorrow’s headlines would read, “Obama Embraced by Catholics; Romney Dines With Rich People.” 
   
   Both men got a lot of laughs. Mr. Obama got his first while the audience was still giving him a standing ovation: “Everyone please take your seats, otherwise Clint Eastwood will yell at them.” 
   
   He was quick to make light of his poor performance in the first debate. “As some of you may have noticed, I had a lot more energy in our second debate. I felt really well-rested after the nice long nap I had in the first debate.” He added, “I learned that there are worse things that can happen to you on your anniversary than forgetting to buy a gift.” 
   
   Mr. Obama noted that he and Mr. Romney spent their free time before the dinner in somewhat different pursuits. “Earlier today, I went shopping at some stores in Midtown. I understand Governor Romney went shopping for some stores in Midtown.” 
   
   And he came prepared with his own retort to Mr. Romney’s “build that” joke, reminiscing about how he used to “love to go to old Yankee Stadium, the house that Ruth built — although he really did not build that.” 
   
   The president took a swipe at Mr. Romney’s running mate, whose claim to have run a sub-three-hour marathon was later proven to be more than an hour too generous. “Sometimes it feels like this race has dragged on forever,” Mr. Obama said, “but Paul Ryan assured me that we’ve only been running for 2 hours and 50-something minutes.” 
   
   Mr. Obama said that while he and Mr. Romney both have unusual names, Mr. Romney, whose full name is Willard Mitt Romney, goes by his middle name. The president — whose full name is Barack Hussein Obama — joked, “I wish I could use my middle name.” 
   
   He also mocked Mr. Romney’s turbulent foreign trip, contrasting it with his own overseas trip in 2008, after which he said he was “attacked as a celebrity because I was so popular with our allies overseas.” 
   
   “I have to say I am impressed with how well Governor Romney has avoided that problem,” he said.
target: – The presidential candidates took a break from the campaign to poke fun at themselves and each other last night during the annual Alfred E. Smith charity dinner in Manhattan. Some highlights, from the New York Times and Washington Post: Romney: "As President Obama surveys the Waldorf banquet room with everybody in white tie and finery you have to wonder what he’s thinking: ‘So little time, so much to redistribute.’” Obama: "Earlier today, I went shopping at some stores in Midtown. I understand Governor Romney went shopping for some stores in Midtown." On themselves: Obama: "Some of you may have noticed, I had a lot more energy in our second debate. I felt really well rested after the nice long nap I had in the first debate.” Romney, commenting on the fancy dress code: "It’s nice to finally relax and wear what Ann and I wear around the house.” Odds and ends: Obama asked everyone to “please take their seats. Otherwise Clint Eastwood will yell at them.” Romney tweaked the press, saying he had seen early reports from the dinner. "Headline: ‘Obama Embraced by Catholics, Romney Dines with Rich People.’” On the VP: Obama: "I've heard some people say, 'Barack, you're not as young as you used to be. Where’s that golden smile? Where’s that pep in your step?' And I say, 'Settle down, Joe, I'm trying to run a Cabinet meeting.'" Romney: "I was actually hoping the president would bring Joe Biden along this evening because he will laugh at anything.” See The Week for more highlights.