text: The mother of a black child who was featured in a controversial H&M ad for a hoodie that read, “Coolest Monkey in the Jungle,” said that people calling it racially insensitive need to “get over it.” 
   
   In a series of since-deleted Facebook posts, the mom, Terry Mango, of Stockholm, Sweden, said she didn’t support the backlash over the ad — which even prompted The Weeknd to end his partnership with the brand. 
   
   “Am the mum and this is one of hundreds of outfits my son has modelled,” Mango wrote. “Stop crying wolf all the time, unnecessary issue here … get over it.” 
   
   Mango continued: “If I bought that jumper and put it on him and posted it on my pages, would that make me racist? I get pples opinion, but they are not mine.” 
   
   In another message, Mango said she had been to all of her son’s modeling shoots and was with him when he modeled the hoodie in question. 
   
   “Everyone is entitled to their opinion about this,” Mango wrote. “ … I really don’t understand but not coz am choosing not to but because it’s not my way of thinking, sorry.” 
   
   H&M apologized for the ad on Monday. 
   
   “We’re deeply sorry that the picture was taken, and we also regret the actual print,” the company said in a statement. “Therefore, we’ve not only removed the image from our channels, but also the garment from our product offering.” 
   
   The statement continued: “It’s obvious that our routines haven’t been followed properly. This is without any doubt. We’ll thoroughly investigate why this happened to prevent this type of mistake from happening again.” 
   
   NBA megastar LeBron James and Manchester United forward Romelu Lukaku are among the many who spoke out against the ad. 
   
   “We as African Americans will always have to break barriers, prove people wrong and work even harder to prove we belong but guess what, that’s what we love because the benefits at the end of the road are so beautiful!” James wrote in a post showing the boy wearing a crown accompanied by the words “King of the World.” ||||| The parents of the young black model who posed in a H&M hoodie with the word “monkey” on it say they don’t believe the photograph was intended to be racist. 
   
   The image of five-year-old Liam Mango, a Swedish child model, wearing a green hoodie that reads “Coolest Monkey in the Jungle” went viral last week and caused outrage, with the likes of The Weeknd, Diddy and LeBron James criticizing H&M for the seemingly tone-deaf campaign and social media users deeming it racist. H&M has since apologized for using the photograph. 
   
   On Monday, Liam’s parents, Terry Mango and Frank Odhiambo, addressed the controversy on the U.K.’s This Morning program on ITV. 
   
   “I wouldn’t see such a connection to anything other than my son modeling a shirt,” said Mrs. Mango, speaking about the racial connotations of the advertisement. “With the furore going on, you look back and wonder, if you had noticed it, what would be my initial response to it?” 
   
   Mango went on to say that she doesn’t feel the controversy is an overreaction, however, and supported people speaking out about racism—though she doesn’t necessarily share the same opinion in this instance. 
   
   “Everybody should act differently based on their opinions of what racism is,” said the boy’s mother. “I know what racism is—I’ve had racist remarks directed to me. I’ve been called ‘monkey’ on a cruise ship and my reaction is the same as the world is reacting right now.” 
   
   But, said Mango, “To put the T-shirt and the word ‘monkey’ with racism, maybe that is not my way of looking at it. I’m just looking at Liam, a black, young boy, modeling a T-shirt that has ‘monkey’ on it. I think everyone should respect different opinions on racism.” 
   
   Young Liam’s parents say their son loves modeling and was contracted to the H&M campaign through a modeling agency in Stockholm. Mango or Odhiambo usually accompany Liam to his shoots and told the program they did not recall Liam posing in the hoodie in question until the image surfaced online and caused uproar last week. 
   
   Odhiambo said he worried about his family’s safety after the story received worldwide press attention. “It’s very important that people should understand we have a son, we have other children in the home, and we have an obligation to protect our children,” said the boy’s father. 
   
   The boy’s mother said young Liam isn’t aware of the racism controversy surrounding the image but understood that he had gained some infamy. “He’s aware he’s a superstar. He’s seen images online. He believes people love him for his modeling job, and he’s cool, and [for] his confidence in his job,” said Mango. ||||| Surely the year of Sociopathic Baby Men, 2017 was also the year of pathetic apologies. From random Jay-Z quotes to omitting the actual words “I’m sorry” and implying sexual harassment is fun, misogynistic men (and their lawyers) demonstrated a profound inability to discern between self-absorption and remorse. 
   
   And as 2018 began, it appeared the trend would continue. On Jan. 8, H&M came under fire after a product shot on the Swedish fast-fashion brand’s UK site used a black child to sell a hoodie that says “coolest monkey in the jungle.” 
   
   As Marc Bain explained in Quartz, the image was seen as disgracefully racist. Singer and songwriter The Weeknd, who has collaborated with H&M on a fashion line tweeted that he was “shocked and embarrassed” will no longer work with the company. Drummer and producer Questlove used an Instagram post to write, “all this tells me about @HM is that the seats in the boardroom lack something…wanna take a guess?” Others questioned whether the advertisement was an embarrassing instance of cultural ignorance, given how the racial history of Sweden differs from that of the US. 
   
   H&M says sorry, round one 
   
   Responding to the internet’s rage, H&M swiftly apologized—kind of. 
   
   “We sincerely apologize for offending people with this image of a printed hooded top,” H&M’s PR representative said in a statement sent to Bain. “The image has been removed from all online channels and the product will not be for sale in the United States.” 
   
   Many people were not satisfied with this apology—with good reason. The hoodie was still being sold on its UK site, Business Insider reported. What’s more, this initial apology commits one of the most egregious apology errors: Instead of sincerely apologizing for creating and promoting an offensive product, H&M apologized for “offending people with this image.” The subtle difference between saying “I’m sorry for what I did” and “I’m sorry if you feel badly” is profound. 
   
   As Nicole McCance, a Toronto-based relationship psychologist who works with couples and families, tells Quartz, “Even if they’re well intentioned, saying phrases like ‘I’m sorry if you feel like I was mean’ or ‘I’m sorry if you feel angry,’ will not work because they minimize the other person’s feelings and experience.” 
   
   Instead, McCance advises following “I’m sorry” with genuine expressions of remorse, and phrases like “I can imagine you’re so disappointed.” Most important, make sure “I’m sorry” includes clear and specific examples of what, exactly, you are sorry for. 
   
   “Saying ‘I’m sorry’ alone is fairly empty. It’s just a hollow statement that doesn’t do much for the giver or the receiver of the apology,” Joanne Lescher, a certified non-violent communication facilitator, tells Quartz. “If you are really sorry, maybe it’s because you regret your actions or words, because you’ve seen how whatever you said or did impacted the other person. So you should continue your apology by saying something like, ‘I regret that I said X because I see how deeply it impacted you, and how hurt you are by my words, and that wasn’t my intention.” Apologizing with your regret is deeper and richer than “I’m sorry,” because it shows that you see how much you hurt the other person, she says. 
   
   While removing the hoodie from the US site is a step in the right direction, H&M’s first apology essentially equates to: “Ugh, we’ll take it down, but we don’t regret it.” 
   
   H&M says sorry, round two 
   
   No statement can reverse H&M’s ill-informed advertisement. However, as public figures and companies continue to issue flailing, seemingly fake remorse, the progress H&M demonstrated in their second apology is worth learning from. 
   
   Yesterday (Jan. 10), H&M sent that longer apology to its media list, opening with the stark statement: “Our position is simple and unequivocal—we have got this wrong and we are deeply sorry.” After explaining its full commitment to addressing societal issues such as diversity and environmental protection, H&M admitted “we clearly haven’t come far enough. We agree with all the criticism that this has generated—we have got this wrong and we agree that, even if unintentional, passive or casual racism needs to be eradicated wherever it exists.” 
   
   This second pass, which can be read in full below, models the most essential element of an apology: taking full responsibility for your actions, and not attempting to justify the ways in which your wrongs may have been right. “First and foremost, it’s really important to avoid explaining the reasons behind what you did,” McCance tells Quartz. “There are always reasons behind behavior, but laying out these reasons can come across as excuses. If you do this, the other person will feel like you aren’t sincere and don’t get it.” 
   
   H&M also put action behind their words, removing the hoodie from sale everywhere and committing to recycling the remaining stock. “If the apology doesn’t have that following piece of ‘what I want to do differently,’ then the person may not ever change their behavior,” Lescher says. “Until you take responsibility for your behavior, and create a plan of action on how to improve, most of us fall back into old patterns.” 
   
   H&M’s second apology, in full 
   
   To all customers, staff, media, stakeholders, partners, suppliers, friends and critics. 
   
   We would like to put on record our position in relation to the image and promotion of a children’s sweater, and the ensuing response and criticism. 
   
   Our position is simple and unequivocal—we have got this wrong and we are deeply sorry. 
   
   H&M is fully committed to playing its part in addressing society’s issues and problems, whether it’s diversity, working conditions or environmental protection—and many others. Our standards are high and we feel that we have made real progress over the years in playing our part in promoting diversity and inclusion. But we clearly haven’t come far enough. 
   
   We agree with all the criticism that this has generated—we have got this wrong and we agree that, even if unintentional, passive or casual racism needs to be eradicated wherever it exists. We appreciate the support of those who have seen that our product and promotion were not intended to cause offence but, as a global brand, we have a responsibility to be aware of and attuned to all racial and cultural sensitivities—and we have not lived up to this responsibility this time. 
   
   This incident is accidental in nature, but this doesn’t mean we don’t take it extremely seriously or understand the upset and discomfort it has caused. 
   
   We have taken down the image and we have removed the garment in question from sale. It will be recycled. 
   
   We will now be doing everything we possibly can to prevent this from happening again in future. 
   
   Racism and bias in any shape or form, conscious or unconscious, deliberate or accidental, are simply unacceptable and need to be eradicated from society. In this instance we have not been sensitive enough to this agenda. 
   
   Please accept our humble apologies. 
   
   Read next: This is how to apologize like you really mean it ||||| The parents of the boy at the centre of the “racist” H&M hoodie storm have spoken out about the huge reaction the clothing brand as well as the family have received. 
   
   Liam Mango was pictured in a hoodie on the H&M website which read ‘coolest monkey in the jungle.’ 
   
   However after the image was posted online, the company faced a huge backlash, with members of the public calling the decision to use a black child to model the hoodie “racist” and “unacceptable.” 
   
   
   
   
   
   H&M swiftly apologised and Liam’s parents have now revealed they never saw the hoodie the same way as many members of the public. 
   
   Speaking on This Morning from Stockholm, Sweden, mother Terry and father Frank explained they didn’t even know about the hoodie before the internet erupted. 
   
   But Terry said even if she’d seen the slogan before, she doesn’t think that would have rung alarm bells for her. 
   
   “I wouldn’t see such a connection to anything other than my son modelling a shirt,” Terry explained. 
   
   “Until the controversy now, with the whole furore that is going on, then you kind of look back and wonder if you had noticed it, what would be our, or my, initial response to it.” 
   
   But Terry explained she doesn’t believe the furore has necessarily been unjust. 
   
   “It is not an overreaction when it comes to racism, everyone should act differently based on their opinions of what racism is,” she said, explaining that she’s faced racism and even been called a ‘monkey’ herself. 
   
   “To put the T-shirt and the word ‘monkey’ with racism, maybe that is not my way of looking at it,” Terry added. 
   
   “I’m just looking at Liam, a black young boy, modeling a T-shirt that has the word ‘monkey’ on it. 
   
   “Everybody should respect different opinions based on racism.” 
   
   (This Morning) 
   
   The family have had to move out of their home, and Frank explained that they no longer have their “normal family life.” 
   
   “As much as people have gotten involved in this, for me it’s very important that people understand that me and Teresa, we have a son, we have other children in the home that we are raising, and we have an obligation to protect our children,” he said. 
   
   And the parents added that Liam doesn’t really understand the big fuss around him 
   
   “He’s aware he’s a superstar and people love him,” Terry said. ||||| Media playback is unsupported on your device Media caption Terry Mango: "Does the shirt, to me, speak racism? No it doesn't" 
   
   The mother of the five-year-old H&M model caught up in a racism row has told the BBC her family has moved house in Sweden "for security reasons." 
   
   Last week, photos of Liam Mango modelling a "coolest monkey in the jungle" hoodie went viral, with social media users accusing H&M of racism. 
   
   Many were angered when Liam's mother Terry Mango defended the brand and told people to stop "crying wolf." 
   
   In South Africa, protesters vandalised H&M stores over the photos. 
   
   Despite the backlash she has faced, Terry Mango still doesn't believe H&M had a racist agenda. 
   
   "I respect other people's opinion on the issue. I know racism exists, but does the shirt to me speak racism? No it doesn't," she told BBC Outside Source. 
   
   Though Mrs Mango has been a victim of racism and acknowledges it's a huge problem, she's been attacked by other black people for not condemning H&M. 
   
   "I [am] a sell out to them, I [am] an embarrassment to the black and African-American people. I sold my son for money," she told BBC Outside Source. 
   
   The family have moved out of their house in Stockholm following "security concerns" Mrs Mango added. 
   
   Though she did not elaborate on the safety reasons, Mrs Mango said the attacks on H&M stores in and around Johannesburg were one reason for the move. 
   
   The protests, which took place on Saturday, were organised by the radical Economic Freedom Fighters' party (EFF). 
   
   Video footage showed protesters trashing displays, kicking over clothes rails and shoving mannequins while police used rubber bullets to disperse them. 
   
   Theirs was not the only protest. 
   
   Amid calls for a global boycott of H&M, musicians The Weeknd and G-Eazy have cut ties with the company, with the former saying the advert made him feel "shocked and embarrassed". 
   
   Despite the furore, Liam Mango remains oblivious. 
   
   "He has no idea what's going on, he's only five... Liam has not experienced [racism yet]," Mrs Mango said. "I just want him to have innocence."
target: – Controversy keeps swirling around H&M and an online ad that showed a young black boy in a hoodie with the words "Coolest Monkey in the Jungle." The ad has since been removed, but the family of 5-year-old Liam Mango, the ad's model, now says they had to move out of their home in Sweden for "security reasons," Liam's mom, Terry Mango, tells the BBC. Mango didn't get too much into those reasons for vacating their Stockholm residence, but she did mention violent protests in South African H&M stores as a factor. Mango has come under fire herself for her reaction to the ad: The New York Post reports on a series of now-deleted Facebook posts in which she said she didn't think the ad was racist and told people to stop "crying wolf" over this "unnecessary issue" and to "get over it." She elaborated to the BBC that "I know racism exists, but does the shirt to me speak racism? No it doesn't." Mango and Liam's dad, Frank Odhiambo, appeared on a Swedish morning show this week, where Mango says she was once called a monkey herself on a cruise ship and understands why some might be upset about the ad, per Newsweek. Odhiambo says they had to move because they "have an obligation to protect our children," the Independent reports. The one person kept out of the fray so far: little Liam himself. "He has no idea what's going on, he's only 5," Mango tells the BBC, adding that he "has not experienced [racism yet]." Meanwhile, H&M, which was criticized for its first brief apology, has issued a second, lengthier one, per Quartz. "We agree with all the criticism that this has generated—we have got this wrong and we agree that, even if unintentional, passive or casual racism needs to be eradicated wherever it exists," it reads.