text: Seminole County Sheriff's Office 
   
   http://xml.channel.aol.com/xmlpublisher/fetch.v2.xml?option=expand_relative_urls&dataUrlNodes;=uiConfig,feedConfig,localizationConfig,entry&id;=686529&pid;=686528&uts;=1270263488 http://www.aolcdn.com/ke/media_gallery/v1/ke_media_gallery_wrapper.swf Masterminds Need Not Apply George Jolicoeur, a 600-pound Florida man with a long record of scamming restaurants and convenience stores pleaded no contest April 1 to five charges that he sought refunds by making false claims, including one that a $50 order of beef jerky from a 7-Eleven was moldy. Seminole County Sheriffâs Office Seminole County Sheriffâs Office ||||| Speaking of "DUH" moments... 
   
   We're weary of hurricane news and the season is a long way from over. Got us thinking. Why are we still living here??? 
   
   Because.... 
   
   1. We now own a generator, hurricane shutters, mountains of batteries, crates of SpaghettiOs and an ocean of bottled water. And we’re not leaving until we use everything. 
   
   2. We’re trying to win back all the money we’ve lost at Hard Rock. 
   
   3. We’re underwater on our house, even without a storm surge. 
   
   4. We love the look of “tarpaulin blue” that bloomed on rooftops after Frances and Jeanne in 2004. 
   
   5. We get to experience another no-Super Bowl Miami Dolphins season. 
   
   6. We want to bond with neighbors we haven’t talked to since Wilma in 2005. 
   
   7. We haven't used up all our two-for-one coupons. 
   
   8. Iowa doesn’t have an ocean. 
   
   9. California has earthquakes. 
   
   10. We know we’ll never die of boredom. 
   
   Please tell us, why are you still here? 
   
   Image: NOAA 
   
   More FloriDUH
target: – A 600-pound man escaped the possibility of a jail term because his weight and related illnesses would have made it too expensive to put him on trial. Instead, he struck a deal to plead guilty to scamming several fast-food restaurants for meals and to pay fines, reports AOL News. George Jolicoeur, 38, lives in a nursing home. "He's in his prison cell," a state attorney tells the Orlando Sentinel. "He's not getting out of that bed."