text: Ricky Gervais promised to offend Hollywood. He did not disappoint. 
   
   The actor-comic opened the 73rd annual Golden Globes by mocking Sean Penn, Caitlyn Jenner, Roman Polanski, Jennifer Lawrence, Jeffrey Tambor, Ben Affleck, and many more. 
   
   Here is a rundown of the bluntly sarcastic four-time host’s funniest and/or most offensive lines from the Beverly Hilton — including what Gervais said to Mel Gibson that was entirely bleeped by NBC: 
   
   — “You disgusting, pill-popping, sexual deviant scum. I’m going to do this monologue and then go into hiding. Not even Sean Penn will find me … snitch.” 
   
   — “You’re global megastars with amazing talent. Most of you. Some of you just married well. You know who are you. We all do.” 
   
   — “It’s right that NBC should host this award show. They’re the only network that’s truly fair and impartial and that’s because they’re the only network with zero nominations. So … nothing in it for ‘em tonight. They don’t care, obviously.” 
   
   — “I’m going to be nice tonight. I’ve changed — not as much as Bruce Jenner. Obviously. Now Caitlyn Jenner, of course. What a year she’s had! She became a role model for trans-people everywhere, showing great bravery in breaking down barriers and destroying stereotypes. She didn’t do a lot for women drivers. But you can’t have everything, can ya? Not at the same time.” 
   
   — “One publication said me hosting would mean some film stars would stay away for fear of being made fun of. As if film stars would stay away from a chance of getting a Golden Globe — particularly if their film company has already paid for it.” 
   
   — “The excellent Spotlight has been nominated. Yeah. The Catholic Church are furious about the film as it it exposes that 5 percent of all their priests have repeatedly molested children and been allowed to continue to work without punishment. Roman Polanski called it ‘the best date movie ever.’” 
   
   — “Jennifer Lawrence made the news when she demanded equal pay for women in Hollywood. She received overwhelming support from people everywhere. There were marches on the street with nurses and factory workers saying, ‘How the hell can a 25-year-old live on $52 million?!’” 
   
   — “Of course woman should be paid the same as men for doing the same job. And I’d like to say now, I’m being paid exactly the same as [what Tina Fey and Amy Poehler received] last year. No, I know there were two of them, but it’s not my fault if they want to share the money, is it? That’s their stupid fault. It’s funny because it’s true.” 
   
   — “The Hollywood Foreign Press deemed The Martian a comedy and even nominated it. And hence, Matt Damon is here tonight. So that worked a treat, didn’t it? To be fair, The Martian was a lot funnier than Pixels. But then again, so was Schindler’s List.“ 
   
   — “All-female remakes are the big thing. There’s a female remake of Ghostbusters. There’s going to be a female remake of Ocean’s 11. And this is brilliant for the studios because they get guaranteed box office results and they don’t have to spend too much money on the cast.” 
   
   — “The president of the Hollywood Foreign Press said if I say anything offensive, or crass, or resort to innuendo, he’s going to personally come out here and ‘pull me off.’ So that’s an offer I couldn’t refuse. Yes, yes, that is the level — an old man pulling me off. Again. At least Jeffrey Tambor did it in a dress.” 
   
   — “Remember if you do win tonight, no one cares about that award as much as you do. Don’t get emotional, it’s embarrassing. That award is, no offense, worthless. It’s a bit of metal some nice old confused journalists wanted to give you in person so they could meet you and have a selfie with you, okay? That’s all it is!” 
   
   — “I won three Golden Globes myself … one I keep by the bed to — it doesn’t matter why, it’s mine. I won it fair and square. It’s just the right shape and size, it’s nothing… yeah. To be clear: That was a joke about me shoving Golden Globes that I’ve won up my ass.” 
   
   — On introducing presenter Matt Damon: “He’s the only person Ben Affleck hasn’t been unfaithful to.” 
   
   — On introducing Eva Longoria and America Ferrera: “Two people who your future president, Donald Trump, can’t wait to deport.” 
   
   — On the films Joy and Trainwreck. “No, not the names of Charlie Sheen’s favorite hookers. The movies of these next two presenters.” 
   
   — On introducing Mel Gibson after his infamous takedown of the actor during the Globes in 2010: “I’m in the awkward position of having to introduce him again. Listen, I’m sure it’s embarrassing for both of us. I blame NBC for this terrible situation. Mel blames…we know who Mel blames. Listen, I still feel a bit bad for it. Mel’s forgotten all about it apparently, that’s what drinking does. I want to say something nice about Mel before he comes out. So: I’d rather have a drink with him in his hotel room tonight than with Bill Cosby.” Then after Gibson came out on stage, Gervais asked him — and this was entirely bleeped by NBC: “What the f–k does ‘sugar t-ts’ even mean?’” 
   
   RELATED: Full Globes winners list 
   
   Before the ceremony, Gervais tweeted a shirtless photo of himself with a profane message warning that he would offend Hollywood on Sunday night. And on the red carpet before the telecast from the Beverly Hilton Hotel, Gervais confirmed to Matt Lauer that his Globes bosses gave him free reign: “They said I could say what I want — NBC and the Hollywood Foreign Press. I don’t think they know what that means. I won’t break any laws.” 
   
   RELATED: All the Red Carpet Arrivals from the 2016 Golden Globes 
   
   For more, here’s EW’s Golden Globes live blog, our red carpet photo gallery and the full list of winners. ||||| Getty 
   
   Say hello to your 2016 Golden Globes host! As movie and television fanatics alike gear up for one of the most exciting award shows of the year, some might not be too familiar with this year’s host, Ricky Gervais. Never fear — we have five fast facts for you right here! 
   
   Unlike some award show hosts, Ricky Gervais, 54, isn’t the most household name in America. But considering the British comedian has such a major role in the 2016 Golden Globes as the night’s host, that could very well change! Despite the fact that he has hosted before, Golden Globe devotees might need to know a little more about who will be running the show on Jan. 10. Get to know Ricky below! 
   
   1. He has hosted the Golden Globes the most times. 
   
   This year’s Golden Globes will be Ricky’s fourth time hosting, giving him a leg up on the three-time hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. He also served as the master of ceremonies in 2010, 2011, and 2012. Because of his crude jokes that often involve celebrities in the audience, his returns have always been deemed controversial. 
   
   2. He isn’t afraid to throw shade — and Robert Downey Jr. isn’t exactly a fan of it. 
   
   Ricky is known for having a dark sense of humor as it is, but during his second Golden Globes hosting gig in 2011, he totally dissed Robert when introducing the actor. He listed off some of Robert’s movies before making a pretty personal slam: “He has done all those films, but many of you in this room know him best from such facilities as the Betty Ford Clinic and Los Angeles County Jail.” Even though Robert called him out for being “mean-spirited,” Ricky outwardly said he isn’t sorry! 
   
   3. He used to be a pop star. 
   
   Well, not quite. After attending college, Ricky attempted to start a career as a singer with a pop duo called Seona Dancing. Although the group landed a recording contract and released two singles, Ricky’s pop career didn’t last long as the group failed to gain much attention. 
   
   Join Amazon Prime For Free – Thousands of Movies & Shows Anytime 
   
   4. He was the original Michael Scott from The Office. 
   
   Ricky’s acting career really took off after he starred in a UK series of the same name beginning in 2001, which actually inspired the American remake because of its success overseas. He played office manager David Brent, whom Steve Carell‘s character is based off of. In fact, he’s a co-creator of both versions of the show! 
   
   Stream music, completely unlimited and ad-free, RIGHT HERE 
   
   5. He has actually won a Golden Globe himself. 
   
   Years before taking the stage as host, Ricky took home the award for Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy in 2004 for his Office role as David Brent. He was also nominated for the same award in 2008 and 2015, but for his roles in Extras and Derek, respectively. 
   
   HollywoodLifers, are you glad Ricky is this year’s Golden Globes host? 
   
   JavaScript is required to load the comments. ||||| Mel Gibson allegedly ranted against "wetbacks" on tape. Previous tirades include the N-word and anti-Semitism. Wouldn't it be nice if you could read every terrible thing Gibson has said, all in one place? Look no further. Updated with more quotes! 
   
   We have compiled the Bible of terrible Mel Gibson quotes. (And Mel Gibson loves Bibles, because "there is no salvation for those outside the Church.") We're sure he's said more and worse. These are merely the terrible things he's said near an open microphone, tapped telephone, police officer, or journalist: 
   
   "I will report her to the fucking people that take fucking money from the wetbacks." — phone conversation with ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, about an employee, via Update: a href="http://gawker.com/5585841/third-horrifying-mel-gibson-phone-call-is-now-online">Listen to it here. 
   
   "You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault." — phone conversation with Grigorieva, via Update: "Pig in heat" or "bitch in heat"? Listen to it here. 
   
   "I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first." — phone conversation with Grigorieva, via Update: Listen to it here. 
   
   "You know what, you fucking deserved it." — to Grigorieva after she asked, "What kind of man is that who would hit a woman when she is holding a child in her hands, hitting her twice in the face?" via Update: Listen to it here. 
   
   "Fucking Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world… Are you a Jew?" — to male police officer during 2006 DUI arrest, via 
   
   "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?" — to female police officer during 2006 DUI arrest, via 
   
   "I want to kill him…I want his intestines on a stick… I want to kill his dog." —on New York Times reporter Frank Rich, who criticized The Passion of the Christ, to The New Yorker in 2003, via, h/t 
   
   "I own Malibu… I am going to fuck you." — to arresting officer during 2006 DUI, via 
   
   "Look what you did to me... look what you are... look what every part of you is... fucking fake... fucking fake… You are the most synthetic person... who the fuck are you?" — phone conversation with Grigorieva, via 
   
   "They take it up the ass. [laughs, stands up, bends over, points to anus] This is only for taking a shit." —to Spanish newspaper El Pais when asked what he thinks of gays, in 1991, via 
   
   "With this look, who's going to think I'm gay? I don't lend myself to that type of confusion. Do I look like a homosexual? Do I talk like them? Do I move like them?" —from the El Pais interview, via 
   
   "I'll apologize when hell freezes over. They can fuck off." —to Playboy in 1995, about whether he'd issue an apology to gays and lesbians, as GLAAD recommended 
   
   "I am one tough motherfucker and you can't bother me anymore. You ask anybody what their number one fear is and it's public humiliation. Multiply that on a global scale and that's what I've been through. It changes you and makes you one tough motherfucker. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." — interview with The Telegraph and perhaps the most frightening quote of all, explaining why, no matter how much we abhor, ridicule, and shun this man, we will never be able to get rid of him. 
   
   Related 
   
   Mel Gibson's Horrifying Phone Call Is Now Online 
   
   'My Career Is Over': Another Terrifying Mel Gibson Phone Call Is Now Online 
   
   Third Horrifying Mel Gibson Phone Call Is Now Online 
   
   'I'll Burn the Goddamn House Down, But Blow Me First': Mel Gibson Gets Creative in His Latest Rant 
   
   [Photo via Getty Images] ||||| The seed for this crawl was a list of every host in the Wayback Machine 
   
   This crawl was run at a level 1 (URLs including their embeds, plus the URLs of all outbound links including their embeds) 
   
   The WARC files associated with this crawl are not currently available to the general public.
target: – Sunday night marked Ricky Gervais' fourth time hosting the Golden Globes—more times than anyone else, even Tina Fey and Amy Poehler—and he's also been the most controversial. Why stars and show producers have always been nervous: Gervais isn't "afraid to throw shade," as Hollywood Life puts it (and a NSFW tweet he posted Sunday afternoon shows he wasn't exactly going in afraid to offend). So what came out of his mouth at this year's show? After showing up at the podium with a pint in hand and calling the audience a bunch of "disgusting, pill-popping, sexual deviant scum," Ricky Gervais confessed he wanted to go into hiding after doing the monologue and that "not even Sean Penn will find me. Snitch." He followed that up with a promise that he'd be nicer this time around, adding, "I've changed. Not as much as Bruce Jenner, obviously." Gervais couldn't resist sneaking in some topical American humor. "Eva Longoria and America Ferrera aren't just beautiful, talented actresses," he noted. "They're also two people that your future president, Donald Trump, can't wait to deport." He stuck to his promise to "bite the hand that feeds me. "That award is, no offense, worthless," he told nominees. "It's a bit of metal that some nice old confused journalists wanted to give you in person so they could meet you and have a selfie with you." Along those same lines, per Entertainment Weekly: "It's right that NBC should host this award show. They're the only network that's truly fair and impartial and that's because they're the only network with zero nominations." "He's been the only person Ben Affleck hasn't been unfaithful to," he said before calling Matt Damon to the stage, per the Telegraph. About women not getting paid as much as men in Hollywood: "I'm being paid exactly the same as [what Tina Fey and Amy Poehler received] last year. No, I know there were two of them, but it's not my fault if they want to share the money, is it? That's their stupid fault." NBC bleeped out what Gervais said to Mel Gibson during their head-to-head, but EW says he noted: "What the f--k does 'sugar t-ts' even mean?"—a phrase Gibson reportedly used during a 2006 arrest. Here are the night's big winners.