text: Dove is one of the originators of femvertising—the practice of harnessing feminism or “girl power” in advertising. And there are certainly aspects of its iconic “Real Beauty” campaign that resonate. The company’s ads have tackled the culture’s focus on youth, how stereotypical ideas about beauty can undermine young girls’ confidence, and the gap between women’s self-perception and how others see them. Given that beauty industry has historically spent a lot of time making women feel bad about themselves, it’s refreshing to see any message of positivity and self-love. 
   
   But Dove took a wrong turn yesterday when it released its latest body wash bottles, which come in a variety of shapes to… well, I’ll let the company explain: “From curvaceous to slender, tall to petite, and whatever your skin colour, shoe size or hair type, beauty comes in a million different shapes and sizes. Our six exclusive bottle designs represent this diversity: just like women, we wanted to show that our iconic bottle can come in all shapes and sizes, too,” said Dove in a statement. 
   
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   Not surprisingly, Twitter users had some fun with the new bottles. While the campaign isn’t a misfire on the scale of Pepsi’s recent “protest” commercial, it still feels silly at best, condescending at worst. I don’t know about you, but I have never felt oppressed by the shape of my toiletry bottles—and I do not appreciate a company that so oversimplifies the complicated issue of how our society views women’s bodies. 
   
   It’s a good reminder: Companies that use feminist themes in their ads may well buy into some of the messaging they use and can even help spread important ideas. But at the end of the day, they create those campaigns for one reason—to sell you their stuff. 
   
   A version of this post ran in the May 9th, 2017 edition of The Broadsheet, Fortune’s daily newsletter about the world’s most powerful women. ||||| Here’s me. 
   
   Close your eyes and picture the last bottle of bodywash you used in the shower. What was it shaped like? Was it tall and thin? Short and squat? Did it in any way resemble the shape of your own body? If no, were you deeply offended? Dove’s latest campaign aims to help you overcome those (likely nonexistent) feelings of soap-induced self-loathing by selling bodywash in bottles with varying degrees of curves to promote body positivity. (The Real Beauty bottles are a limited run and currently only available in the U.K.) 
   
   Naturally, the Dove bottles quickly jumped from promotional gag to Twitter meme. Just pick a bottle — a wine jug, two liters of Cheerwine, a plastic container of Draino, one of those blender things swole people use at the gym to let you know how swole they are — and let Dove know your body type is already being properly represented by a bottle out there. 
   
   .@Dove matches its new body wash bottles to your body type pic.twitter.com/zzxy21DYuH — chekov's mankrik (@vrunt) May 8, 2017 
   
   sorry, Dove, I already found my body type pic.twitter.com/mBLzHgGzIw — Brett _______ (@BrettRedacted) May 8, 2017 
   
   thanks Dove but I already have a body wash that matches my natural curves :) pic.twitter.com/IIkKAn0LjQ — Tim Federle (@TimFederle) May 8, 2017 
   
   sry @Dove but i already have a body wash that looks like me pic.twitter.com/uT2oAtZ9f0 — sarah gorman (@thesarahgorman) May 8, 2017 
   
   Y'all are late to this game. Dove been on my body type pic.twitter.com/xgYndlzxdI — Aia (@aiadriano) May 8, 2017 
   
   Little does Dove know I've already got a bottle that suits my body type. pic.twitter.com/A2OWL51c16 — isabel 🤷🏽‍♀️ (@isa_alcantara) May 8, 2017 
   
   thanks dove but i already found a bottle for my shape pic.twitter.com/asuo1vci0O — Carina Hsieh (@carinahsieh) May 8, 2017 ||||| Most women can tell you what fruit they are. 
   
   At some point in their coming of age, women learn that their shape can be compared with a fruit, mostly by figuring out exactly what is wrong with it. Hips larger than the bust? Pear. Waist larger that the hips? Apple. No curves? Banana. 
   
   But now there’s a new choice: Dove says women can also be soap bottles. 
   
   The Unilever brand that’s been on a mission to get women to embrace their “real beauty” for a few years—while other Unilever brands teach other women to change the color of their own skin—has launched a new campaign to empower women to embrace their body shape. 
   
   In the UK, the company will sell a limited edition of six Real Beauty Bottles: unusually curvy shampoo bottles that look like they were inspired by a mix of illegal drugs and Constantin Brancusi. 
   
   “We’ve created a limited edition range of Dove Body Washes, designed to show how beauty is diverse and diversity is beautiful,” said Unilever in a press release, explaining how these are intended to depict real women’s bodies. All body wash bottles—I mean, women—are beautiful as they are. 
   
   Many women do not seem pleased. Not only are they not running to the drugstore, they are making fun of the bottles. 
   
   This is the apotheosis of Dove’s misguided brand of “empowering advertising,” which tends to end up exploiting the very female insecurities that it claims to destroy. Well-intentioned or not, the message behind all of these campaigns is the same we’ve always heard: Be beautiful. 
   
   Of course, Dove is selling soap, not programming classes, so it makes sense—but the attempt to mask that mandate as stereotype-busting is ineffective at best. It’s just not that empowering to overhaul the ideals of feminine beauty: We’re never going to find all people and bodies equally beautiful, no matter how many commercials feature women getting teary-eyed after embracing their own outer beauty. Some women will always be more beautiful than others, just like men are. The only way to actually help women escape the “beauty trap” is to simply make beauty less important—just like it is for men. ||||| But even those ads are too ordinary to notice over time. So marketers also try to get creative with form. Here’s one example. A public-transit staircase sits next to an escalator. The treads of the escalator are painted yellow, and the DHL brand mark is imprinted on the landing. Next to it, the word “OtherServices” is applied to the floor in blue and orange—which just happen to be the colors of the FedEx logo. The implication is clear: DHL is faster than FedEx. 
   
   Clever advertising by DHL pic.twitter.com/MxlqIIwaKz — Brilliant Ads (@Brilliant_Ads) May 7, 2017 
   
   Here’s another. The wall of a bus shelter is encased in 3M Security Glass, which is also the product to be advertised. The wall appears to contain be hundreds of bundles of currency. The ad dares its subject to test the promise the product makes. 
   
   This is how a security glass company shows their products are "unbreakable"! pic.twitter.com/8YPh3wALUq — Brilliant Ads (@Brilliant_Ads) April 26, 2017 
   
   In both of these cases, the ads work because they give consumers an experience of the product advertised. In the DHL ad, the comparison of the escalator and the stairs lets the consumer feel the speed differential. In the 3M Security Glass ad, the consumer almost can’t help but accept the invitation to try to test the glass's durability. These advertisements mix reason and emotion, creating delight in coming to understand the product. 
   
   And then there’s the Dove Real Beauty Bottle. Like 3M and DHL, Dove aims to mix reason and emotion. The setup is right—a product that embodies its message. But the problem is that the result is incoherent and contradictory. The bottles negate rather than support the advertiser’s associative claims. 
   
   Consider some scenarios. A pear-shaped woman has run out of body wash. She visits the local drug store, where she finds a display of Dove Real Beauty Bottles. To her chagrin, now she must choose between pear- and hourglass-shaped soap. She must also present this proxy for a body—the one she has? the one she wishes she did?—to a cashier to handle and perhaps to judge. What otherwise would have been a body-image-free trip to the store becomes a trip that highlights body-image. 
   
   Now imagine actually using the bottles. In the shower, they become slippery. The pear shapes are unwieldy, all their weight pressed to the sides. That will make them hard to hold in a single-hand. The tall, thin bottles are gangly. They fall over easily when bumped on the shelf. 
   
   Ah, but which bottle is least cumbersome? The hourglass-shaped bottles, of course. The ones with big “bosoms” and “hips,” providing firm grip around the “waist” when wet. And just like that, against the campaign’s hopes, Dove engineered bottles that, through functional differences, inadvertently imply there is a best body after all. 
   
   * * * 
   
   Capitalism doesn’t care about you. But usually it takes some work to uncover that truth. Dove is owned by the conglomerate Unilever, which also owns Axe. Axe makes the same kind of products Dove does, but markets them to young men, often in overtly sexist ways. That’s a hypocrisy that reveals advertising’s true scruples, which involve extracting incremental value from your wallet as efficiently as possible. But at least hiding the hypocrisy in the common ownership of a parent company also obscures it from the consumer’s view. ||||| We know we’re not alone in this – women around the world are using their influence to advance the real beauty debate, in their everyday lives and across social media. We’ve been gifting these bottles to them as a ‘thank you’ (the range is not available to purchase). 
   
   Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. 
   
   
   
   From curvaceous to slender, tall to petite, and whatever your skin colour, shoe size or hair type, beauty comes in a million different shapes and sizes. Our six exclusive bottle designs celebrate this diversity: just like women, we wanted to show that our iconic bottle can come in all shapes and sizes, too. 
   
   
   
   
   
   Recent research from the Dove Global Beauty and Confidence Report revealed that one in two women feels social media puts pressure on them to look a certain way. Thankfully, many women are fighting with us to spread beauty confidence. Women using their influence to advance the real beauty debate across social media, and helping women embrace their own individuality as a source of confidence. ||||| Of course this is how it ends. 
   
   Dove, friendly soap company and bastion of body-positive marketing, finally goes too far and literally engineers its packing to reflect the women to whom it markets. 
   
   According to Dove: 
   
   "Each bottle evokes the shapes, sizes, curves and edges that combine to make every woman their very own limited edition. They’re one of a kind–just like you. But sometimes we all need reminding of that. 
   
   Recent research from the Dove Global Beauty and Confidence Report revealed that one in two women feels social media puts pressure on them to look a certain way. Thankfully, many women are fighting with us to spread beauty confidence." 
   
   And apparently the best way to make sure women are reminded daily of our special snowflakeness is to turn our soap bottles into literal reminders of our figures. Because bathing isn't just a time to get clean and enjoy a hot shower and some peace, but also to be, you know, empowered. By our soap bottles. 
   
   We've reached out to Dove to ask a few of our most burning questions, including: 
   
   Will the bottles all contain the same amount of soap? 
   
   Do the body-positive cost bottles cost the same as normal ones, or will we pay a premium for our empowerment? 
   
   How long will we be able to purchase these limited-edition keepsakes? 
   
   Where in the world did this idea come from? 
   
   The shade is already starting to roll in. 
   
   @Dove Is this real? I don't care what the bottle looks like, I care if the product inside works. https://t.co/kKGZTmh1gd — Allison Churchill (@Aloe9678) May 8, 2017 
   
   i don’t want fat representation in soap bottle form. i’d prefer it in the form of fat people not being systematically treated poorly. https://t.co/NfdEP6lXPA — nicolle (@rogueclown) May 8, 2017 
   
   Can someone come over and help me measure my butt so I know which dove body wash to buy — Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) May 8, 2017 
   
   thanks Dove but I already have a body wash that matches my natural curves :) pic.twitter.com/IIkKAn0LjQ — Tim Federle (@TimFederle) May 8, 2017 
   
   Who at Dove thought this was a remotely good idea? https://t.co/MGdg2SgMOc — Steph Haberman (@StephLauren) May 8, 2017 
   
   For a company that has spent years building up a store of good will through their 'Real Beauty' campaigns, we'll have to see whether they have enough in reserve to see them through what could be a major misstep. Or is the benefit of the doubt something that simply doesn’t exist for brands today? ||||| In an inspired packaging stunt, Ogilvy London has created a limited-edition set of Dove Body Wash bottles that come in various shapes and sizes, communication the brand’s longtime celebration of body-diverse beauty. 
   
   “Every woman’s version of beauty is different, and if you ask us, these differences are there to be celebrated,” Dove said in a statement. “That’s what real beauty is all about—the unique things that set us apart from each other and make us one of a kind. We’ve championed this version of beauty for the past 60 years, and celebrated diverse women in our groundbreaking real beauty campaigns. But we wanted to bring this to life through our products, too.” 
   
   “The Real Beauty Bottles is one of those rare ideas which condenses decades of a brand’s legacy in two seconds”, said Andre (Dede) Laurentino, global executive creative director for Unilever at Ogilvy U.K. “It’s deceivingly simple and quite nuanced: a message about our body conveyed by Dove bottles themselves, it cares for the physical and the emotional, and it brings brand essence and product design seamlessly together.”
target: – Dove's latest ad idea doesn't appear on its bottles—it is the bottles. The company has rolled out "limited edition" body wash in the UK packaged in bottles of various shapes, the idea being that women come in various shapes, too. "Every woman’s version of beauty is different and, if you ask us, these differences are there to be celebrated," says a company statement on the Real Beauty Bottles campaign. (See a company video.) Unfortunately for Dove, reaction has been less than kind. At the Atlantic, Ian Bogost digs into the nuances of advertising to point out the campaign's failings. Among the points: Imagine a pear-shaped woman in a drug store having to choose between the bottles. "She must also present this proxy for a body—the one she has? the one she wishes she did?—to a cashier to handle and perhaps to judge," he writes. "What otherwise would have been a body-image-free trip to the store becomes a trip that highlights body image." Ditto the general sentiment at Quartz: This type of "empowering advertising" just winds up "exploiting the very female insecurities that it claims to destroy," writes Annalisa Merelli. "Well-intentioned or not, the message behind all of these campaigns is the same we’ve always heard: Be beautiful." At AdWeek, however, Tim Nudd thinks it's an "inspired packaging stunt," one in sync with Dove's theme of celebrating "body-diverse beauty." The post includes a quote from creator Ogilvy UK saying it's "one of those rare ideas which condenses decades of a brand’s legacy in two seconds." And a post at Creativity has the ad among its top five "brand ideas of the week." But that's the minority view. A Jezebel blogger puts the problem in question form: "What doorway would you walk through if one was labeled 'Beautiful Bottle' and the other was labeled 'Average Bottle'?" writes Aimee Lutkin. "Until every woman sees herself as a beautiful bottle, Dove’s lessons on #RealBeauty aren’t over." Mashable blogger Alex Hazlett has some questions, including, "Do the body-positive bottles cost the same as normal ones, or will we pay a premium for our empowerment?" It's "silly at best, condescending at worst," writes Kristen Bellstrom at Fortune. Companies that champion messages like this might occasionally do some good, but this is a reminder that these campaigns have but one real purpose: "to sell you their stuff." New York rounds up mocking memes with a common theme: People choosing a different bottle that captures their essence, like one of those bear-shaped honey bottles. And Twitter is on fire with put-downs, including this gem: "Can someone come over and help me measure my butt so I know which dove body wash to buy"