Even if the process of your marriage coming to an end took several years, you still may experience a new, raw pain when the curtain finally closes. Know that it’s perfectly acceptable to grieve the end of your marriage—it was a very important relationship in your life.  Just like any other type of grief, everyone grieves differently after divorce. You are the only one who gets to decide what that looks like or how long it takes. Grieving can take on many forms. You may cry, withdraw from friends or family, or find it difficult to get excited about interesting things happening in your life. All of this is normal. Supportive people may look different on any given day; you may find yourself looking to friends for a distraction while a support group may be best for relating to others who have been there too.  There may be times where the best form of support is a distraction, that’s where a good group of friends comes in handy because they will probably be more than happy to find something fun to do if all you need to do is anything besides divorce “stuff”. Support groups can be a great place to really explore the feelings tied to the divorce since they usually have a set start and end time, allow that small block of time each week to dive into things and deal with the feelings. It is also a good way to form boundaries with others if you do not want to talk about it with them since you can nicely let them know you are attending a group to talk about things. You may find yourself feeling a variety of emotions, but going without eating or not keeping up with normal gym times will only make those feelings worse. The divorce process also often takes a lot of formal paperwork so being at your mental best is important.  Many people simply forget to eat when under stress or the opposite they overeat to mask feelings. Try to remind yourself to eat a healthy diet to stay focused on what needs to be done and to stay healthy. Eating right also includes not falling into the trap of drinking more alcohol or depending on extra coffee to mask emotions or not sleeping. It is better to address the underlying issue instead of using some sort of substance to hide the cause. . Make sure you have outlets to relieve the stress that comes with getting a divorce. Stress management can cover a range of options, including meditation, listening to music, getting a massage at the spa, or playing with a pet.  Make time daily, if possible, to do something that relaxes you and eases your stress. Self-medicating with alcohol, drugs or even too much caffeine is not managing your stress, it is just numbing it. Some people going through a divorce may stop eating, stop performing at work, and feel hopeless about the future. Depression is common during such an ordeal. A marriage and family therapist counselor can help you work through your emotions and venting by offering you personalized support without judgment, and they can help you sort out your life.  Such a therapist can also help you sort through logistical details like talking about the divorce with your children or how to know when you're ready to start dating again. Your divorce lawyer may be able to refer you to a quality therapist who is experienced in working with people going through divorce.
Give yourself a span of time to mourn. Surround yourself with supportive people. Exercise and eat right.  Manage your stress See a therapist, if needed.