NOHLE MOHAPE
I was also hopeful that maybe I will be going for teaching as my husband was now laid to rest and I was a
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widow.  But because I was labelled as being a wife to a terrorist, I never got a chance to be a teacher.  Well I was forced to be involved in a self-help project for a black community but I was thankful because I learned a lot.  I was more empowered when I didn't work as a teacher.  With community programmes you were able to know how to be dedicated, how to be committed to what you were doing, and also were able to learn how you can empower people, so that they not dependent on others.  
 There were so many projects which we opened and I also learned very much from that.  The contribution that I have done is more than being a teacher.  And this give me a chance to teach people responsibility and we learned also to empower people. It was enjoyable to me because teaching would not have given me that opportunity. I continued working as a black community leader, and all the organisations were banned in 1977.
 What happened when I was thinking that I am already now past all these tortures, a new era started when the police kept on harassing me, coming to my house and I think they were trying to remove the spirit and dampen my spirit, so that I cannot go on.  They tried to tempt me, trying to show me all the benefits that I would gain if I would change into being an informer.  The policemen continued to tell me that they would even take me to far away places like overseas and they said they would pay for everything, and they also said that they belonged to BOSS, an independent body which was working together with the people to develop and support them.
 I cannot also state where exactly this comes from, but it was a bureau which was reported to be helpful to some 
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people who had been oppressed, and they also chose me as one of the candidates who could go and get a bursary to go overseas.  They also told me that they would give me a tape recorder so that I can record everybody wherever I go.  I should attend meetings, attend workshops, and do recordings for them so that I can appear as leisurely but I would be knowing that I am developing my skills. I think that was their psychological way of working through my feelings but we didn't go well together.  
 Because I refused their offers, they kept on coming again, they started detaining me, again and again, and I was the secretary to Steve at the time. Steve was arrested in Port Elizabeth and I also suffered the consequences, because I was detained because I was his secretary,   There were three of us.  I stayed there in detention, in solitary confinement for six months and I could really confirm and believe what was said about what happened in the police cells. I was not even given a chance to go and change and take new clothes to make arrangements for what was happening to my children, I didn't even have a opportunity to get a baby sitter.  They told me that they can take me anywhere and they could also make it happen so that nobody can know where I've gone to.  I went to Port Elizabeth and I also spent six months in detention.
 The first month during my detention, I didn't get a drop of water to wash myself, I was unable to change and I was in my menstrual cycle.  I was so dirty, requested water so that I can bathe and wash myself.  But nobody wanted to help me.  They even refused me access to the magistrate. I told the magistrate about all these atrocities and the fact that I have even had lice as I couldn't wash myself. This 
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was the third of fourth day, but the magistrate gave an order that I should be given some toiletries.   After a month I was allowed to get some items from home to change.  I was alone at Mount Road, a police station with very few cells.  There are two very small cells, painted black.  It was a very dark place, there is a bucket inside and they would come and fetch you at night and take you to SANLAM Building.  That is where the atrocities used to take place.
 We would be assaulted and forced to tell the truth, and  I was also forced to say that Steve is a terrorist, and also that he was busy distributing pamphlets.  So I had to admit that I was supposed to cyclostyle a batch of pamphlets for Steve.  During that period that I was going to distribute them, he was arrested. 
 During the six months, everything was revolving around Steve Biko.  At times they would bring blank papers so that I could sign, and they promised to release me, if I should sign them.  But they asked me if I wanted the same thing to happen as happened to my husband?  At times I would be fastened to a grill and then would be assaulted brutally and would be unable to defend myself.  There was not even a chance to run away because the grill holds you so fast that you cannot do anything about it.
 After they beat you, they would beat you and find out if you don't want to go and relieve yourself.  I heard from another one, that every time that they assault people, they would assault the person until such person would want to go and relieve himself.