ADV SIGODI
Yes, that's precisely what I want to cover with you, what was actually going on in your mind, because you give us the impression that you had a spiritual shock and you wanted to forget about it but at the same time you give us this impression that what you were doing you believed in, you were actually doing, the thing which you were doing was the right thing to do.  It's what you believed in because you believed you were at war with the ANC.