MR COETZER
As you have truly said, this is a very difficult question.  I want to link to my previous comment namely, that there has to be remorse and also an honest telling to the truth.  There must be a testimony of what had occurred.  Alongside the idea of forgiveness these things must come together.  If we can share our ideas with one another, if we can tell one another that we must forgive one another, then forgiveness can happen.  As to the process of how we should forgive one another, if we do not want to forgive one another then  there will not be forgiveness.  For all of us who continue to hold in our hearts the idea that the events of the past has hardened us entirely so that we are not able to forgive, for those who do not want to show remorse, these persons will not be able to join in the process of reconciliation because they will not want to bring their share to the process of reconciliation.  I don't know if I'm making sense now.