TESTIMONY_GIVER:
  I think I was very, very affected.  What really affects me is that I wasn't just the only one who was affected.  This affected people whom I loved very much - members of the ANC, SACP, COSATU and my mother, because of me, and my family - I'm from a very big family and my brothers left their houses because of me, because the name had the legacy because of me.  The last person who died was Ntuli person.  They killed him even though he was Inkatha member, but they killed him because of the name Ntuli.  What really affects me most is that when my mother was killed my first-born was there and my brother, even though they survived, and my cousin was also there, who was killed as well.  And when Moses and the other police came to my house at Esikhaweni my child saw guns for the first time, because I didn't own a gun at that time.  Now that alone made my child a retarded child and I can tell you even today he's unable to talk to the police.  Even if he sees other policemen whom he knew before, because they were ANC members and they were integrated with the South African Police, now he's scared of them, even though I'm trying hard to teach my child that now the police are under good hands and again I was forced to leave to the house which I could afford to pay at Esikhaweni.  Now I'm staying in a house where it's hard for me to afford and they could chase me out any time because I don't afford.  I have to go to Esikhaweni, but it's difficult for me to go there, because no one wants to see me.  I took a chance on Saturday.  I went there to see my house and I realised that even the walls were still bad.  This affects my soul bad.  All these things make me lose my senses.  I can't use my mother's picture.  I can't use my brother's picture.  Mostly, my mother was a member of these people, the people who killed my mother, they belonged to one organization.  My took membership cards from IFP, because she didn't want to get involved in political conflict, and she was trying to protect us.