TESTIMONY_GIVER:
  Now, the way I felt, I think my conscience made this to be like it is, because they never knew anything and this thing is staying inside me, I can't relate it to them.   And this makes me quite tense and it makes the relationship between me and my daughters-in-law quite tense, because I can no longer speak to them in the manner that I used to.   Now, I feel a bit relieved because I am facing other women and I feel that by talking about what happened to me, it sort of brings some sort of relief to me, and I find some solace in talking to you.   And I always feel I am to blame because I went to that place to just check how my family was, so some times I feel I invited the trouble myself.   