UNKNOWN
I am John Williams, I live at Vergenoeg -  I have a wife, children.   I am an ex-volunteer, four years and six months and in this particular year, the year of all the bitter struggle, I did not expect something like this to happen, but one morning we were woken up very early in the morning  between 2 and 3.  There was a knock at the door and I asked who is it and they said  - police they said.  There was another knock and I said well just hang on, just wait.  I put on the light and I opened the door.  When I opened the door they were immediately inside the house and they were also surrounding the house, there were lots of cars and vehicles and I said now what is going on - we are looking for William they said.  Why - why there  so many of you here, has he killed somebody -  what's happened?   No they said we are just looking for him.  We want to find this Englishman and put him right - is he here, can we search the house?
I said that's not necessary, here he is,  here is William.  Get up they said and then they checked through all his books.  He was very fond of books and they looked through all the books and they took away a couple of pamphlets and they said  - get up and he said,  hang on don't be in such a hurry, just give me a chance.
He was a good man but if you crossed him then he was - then he was very difficult.  And then he first washed, when he got back he continued to prepare himself very neatly and - and then he came forward and said  here I am.  They said we are going to take you away now and I said  the only thing you must not do is to lay a hand on this son of mine please.  And I repeated you will not lay a hand on him - they left with him.  I said where are you taking him - we taking him to the police station they answered.  
Around about 7 o'clock I thought to myself, how can I sit here and go to work.  Let me go to town and try and find out what happened.  I went to town and asked them what is going to happen and they said, no we just want to ask him a couple of questions and then we will release him.  I said, please let me know if anything happens or phone so that I can come and fetch him because he doesn't have transport.  They never phoned me.  A bit later  end of Tape 2, side A ...
 [indistinct]  such a person there and they said, yes, he is here.  Are we entitled to see him we asked and they said  no, you can't speak to him but nevertheless if you come to the prison perhaps you can speak to the Welfare Officer and maybe he can give you permission to speak to your son.  So that weekend we went there and yes  indeed he was there.  And I said to him what is going on - well he said I have been sentenced to a year's imprisonment. - now how could this have happened.  A man we trusted, now he had to spend his life in jail.
It's very-very hard to repeat this kind of thing, things which still haven't  been finalised.  Anyway he served his sentence and he was released and then he fell about a bit and then finally found himself a welding  job.  He trained for it, got himself a certificate and we relied on him and  we trusted him.  He knew where his home was he knew where his parents were.  He was one of my supports as far as financial matters were concerned.
But the special branch policemen they were harassing us all the time, so much so that we had sleepless nights at times.  It was really extremely unpleasant because they would come to our house and my wife could not stand it.  She had to have constant medical treatment as a result of all this stress.  Eventually I learned that they would go around to each and every member of my family, whether they were in Kimberley or wherever, to try and find out where he was.
One day I arrived at home -  my wife was there and she was in such a state -  she was so sick and she told me that the police had been there again and I thought  what am I going to do?  The end result will be that they will lock me up as well and I knew that I just had to make an end to this and that's when I met Ntsiko and I said Ntsiko please forgive me if I am mistaken, but just please speak to your guys - speak to your men and tell them to stay away from my house because my wife is suffering, my children can't take it any longer.  If they want something let them come to me directly and ask me.  I will always give them an answer but please let them leave my wife and children in peace so that they will be in the same situation and condition when I arrive home in the evening.
He  said  all right I will speak to them and so for a while it was a bit better but it never lasted long because they would always come back to me sometimes at work and they would say to me haven't  you  heard anything.  Eventually I did not take anymore notice of them.  They were playing games with me so I stopped taking them seriously.  I thought they - they just wanted to find out  how the Red Cross operates, I offered them tea  and perhaps you're thirsty.
So I also - I stopped taking it seriously.  To me it was just a game, and then they would  leave and this is how the whole thing carried on.  I think it was in 1993 - maybe 1992 I am not entirely sure, no I think it was before then, we heard the news that Fikele had said that William had died.  Where - never got a straight answer.  Some said Lesotho, some said Tanzania, others Zambia and I thought these people don't know, because since that man left the guys who had - use to come to our house never came back.
I think that that man was here with our Premier, I saw him yesterday and a lot of his friends also  Bennie - Bennie also knows him.  I think - I can see him sitting there he is writing, I am very pleased to see that.  But I am sorry to have to say this but all those friends who were so fond of William, my house is now a place of  exile it's like Robben Island they don't want to set a foot in my house, so my wife and I have to cope with life on our own.  Nobody  comes to us, nobody  says how are you - have you heard anything about your son?  Have  you have enough food - have you got money for coffee.    Nobody - nobody  shows the slightest concern and interest.  We are all by ourselves.
And that's why I am grateful to this Commission because it is giving us the opportunity to tell the world what kind of love we are dealing with here.  If I stab someone in the eye or in his heart then he must forgive me.  If I am offending anyone today I ask them forgiveness and I will ask God to forgive those who killed my son, or whatever it was that they did to him.  There is nothing we can do, we are powerless.  That's how it happened and it carried on and on and long afterwards these two white policemen came to us and said  - have you not yet heard anything about your son -  and as I said eventually I did not even pay them any attention.
Ntsiko and some of the others that  I used to pay attention to because we used to meet socially and so on, eventually that changed and they said you don't have to concern yourselves, you don't have to worry, these two white policeman told us your son is in very good hands.  
And I thought to myself  - though  I never have mentioned this to my wife because she would just panic  - just  I thought to myself  someone who is in good hands is actually in the hands of God.  There are no other good hands that I know of and that is when I realised they had killed my child - these people  know but they had sent someone to go and kill my son, he is dead.  If a person is in good hands it means he is with God.  If a  person who is constantly being hunted like a wild animal and eventually you are told he is in good hands it can only mean one thing and that is that he has been killed, that he is dead.  That's how I interpreted it that he was dead.  So God must forgive me, thank you.