ROKAYA SALOJEE
The only time that they notified me was to tell me that my husband is in the hospital, that's all.  But in the meantime he never ever reached any hospitals.  How many days afterwards was - I mean he ....(tape ends).. a Press fellow told me he's never reached hospital he went straight to the mortuary. That must have been between nine and 10 I am not sure.
 But in any case they came that night, the Special Branch and they told me that I should sign this document and if I don't sign the document they will not give the body.  So I said I am not going to sign it.  If you people want to keep the body you can keep it.  In any case they eventually 
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went away.  They came the next day and they did send the body.  I don't know who and all went and  - you know when it's a Moslem the men take over and those days there weren't very many men around, it was political because people had left the country and things like that.  But in any case I remembered very clearly the day my husband died, the day I buried him that was - I was in grief but this hurt a little more.  I knew when I married him he was a political man. 
 There was a man by the name of Salaam Abram Myers.  That night, the same night he (...indistinct) Verwoerd and he asked if you could (...indistinct) Verwoerd before they take the body or after.  And whoever answered him said you can take the body with you and present it to Verwoerd.
 In any case you don't feel lonely, you don't feel lost but after everybody leaves then you feel the pressure.  Then the Special Branch came back to me and they said to me your husband has died but you are going to die too because you are going to commit suicide, and I knew exactly what they meant by that, because they told me they are going to take me to the Zoo Lake.  I said to them you can't do any worse what you did to me, so it doesn't matter what you do, but I said in the meantime you get the hell out of my house.  I don't know was the pressure too much or maybe they were shocked, it was not that I was a very brave woman, I was a very scared woman, and I think that I was so scared that it didn't matter what I said.  Only afterwards I realised.   Then after that many people asked me why don't I go away.  I had a nervous breakdown and then I went and applied for a passport and the fellow that normally gives you a passport was Van Tonder.  You have to see him to ask, he would sign your document, and I went about four times.  The 
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fifth time I went I couldn't take it anymore, and he said to me ah you are here again.  He says we could make life easy for you but you are a very difficult woman, so I will not give you a passport.  Actually I'll use the exact words what I said, I am sorry for being rude, I said you can give it if you want to give it, if you don't want to give it you can shove it.  He pulled me over the table and I was so scared I didn't believe I could say a thing like that to this man you know sitting behind the desk.  And he called immediately, normally when you go in you've got two guards at the bottom, they escort you to the lift, when you get into the lift you have got two others, they take you up to this floor and when you get up there you have got two others and they take you in and they stand outside, and these two armed cops came and they came and pulled me out and they told me to go.  I went.
 For many years they didn't just make my life miserable but they did my family too and especially my mother.  They used to go there, search the place and leave it as it is and things like that.  So that's why I never went back to my family because I tell - I lost my husband, if anybody has to suffer for him then it should be me, why bring everybody else in this trauma that I am going through.
 My family was very supportive and a few friends I had they would do anything for me.  But in any case it became so unbearable that I left my home and I went to board with other people.  At that time it's very few people that would give you a place to stay.  Immediately when you tell them that I am Salojee then they want to know which Salojee, and if you tell them that you were Bubla Salojee's wife they would say I am sorry but I cannot give you a place to 
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stay.