FATHER LAPSLEY
No, I mean I can't , I think it's a valid question, the - the - I would - can I put it this way.  I see myself as belonging to a number of families.  My natural family with my parents - my father is late, and my brothers and sisters - a family of a religious order - the Society of the Sacred Mission - a family of the church for very many years the family of the ANC having lived also in Zimbabwe and Lesotho - the family of both those nations.  
 When I was bombed all those families loved me in a very - in a very extraordinary way.  The - and that was what enabled me - I mean the doctors said it would take 18 months to 2 years before I was well again and 7 months later I returned and I was fine and I think  that is because of all those families and the roles through their prayers, their love, their support.  Religious people - people who are not religious at all prayed.  Two of my sisters came to see me in hospital.
 The point that I'm making when I say that I can't is that it is difficult to know the - and I think sometimes in a strange kind of way and I think I've seen this watching this process that for the families - the mothers, the spouses, the friends in some ways it's harder that for the survivors and I think that when we talk about the concepts of forgiveness I think it's much easier for the survivor that for the relative of the one who has died.  
And I think even than I lived the pain that others go through in their helplessness in a way is often much greater and so yes I was supported very profoundly and deeply by all those families.