MS GOBODO-MADIKIZELA
You still do.  My first question is how have you coped with it, because it seems that it's really affected you and you've spent a lot of time just
EAST LONDON HEARING TRC/EASTERN CAPE
17 D VAN DER BANK
thinking and worrying about it, I want to know first how you have coped that you can share with us.  
 The second question relates to essentially the fact that you had to go to the South African Embassy and speak with them about what was going to happen, and the significance for me lies around the notion that apartheid did intrude in our lives, in the lives of ordinary South Africans, but especially in the lives of men like yourself who worked in the defence force and in the police, and since South Africa was involved to that extent, because obviously it was otherwise you would not have gone to the South African Embassy, how would you reflect on the way that you were socialised as men of the army or police whatever?  How would you reflect on the way the apartheid ideology socialised you in terms of relating or in terms of dealing with for example situations of liberation struggle, can you tell us about that?  But it's those two questions I'd like to know.