MR DLAMINI
It was a bit of an embarrassment when people came around, you know, to see this nasty weapon standing about and they used to think, well this guy is a little bit obsessive or something like that.   But I made sure that it was always available, you know, and - so the kids would play with this.   I remember taking them out into the sugarcane and showing them how violent it actually was, and letting my son actually shoot it, and that's how dire life was at the time.   This was stark reality and survival, you know.   You know, by the time of Ric's murder, there had been so many murdered and such a lot of death, I mean reports of somebody who had slipped on a cake of soap whilst under interrogation and died of concussion, that sort of stuff.   Somebody tripped over a chair and fell out of the 10th floor window of Marshall Plein in Jo'burg, that sort of rubbish, and also I had spent so many months in solitary confinement in Pretoria Central, listening to people getting hanged and that, I wasn't shocked by Ric's death, or anybody's death.   I wasn't even shocked by my number coming up on the hit list, you know.   And I am still, to this day, ice cold about death.   I was unable to mourn the death of my mother or father, and people find it a bit strange with me, but that's the way it way.  If I say I wasn't shocked by Ric's death, I was exceedingly angry that some upstart, you know, sub-standard racist thought he had the right to murder somebody of Ric's substance and stature.   So, plenty of anger, but no shock, you see.