Posted in: Dating - NYC, Gay Husband, New York City, Relationships, Straight Spouse, Uncategorized.
Tagged: Advice, Cyber Relationships, DAting, Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo, Online dating service, Relationship, Valentine's Day.
i liked this post, thanks.
try some David Richo before you quit though: “How to be an Adult in Relationships.” it’s good.
Great post! I had the same dating thing going on, Juliet. Because I’m so broken I’m a magnet for the wrong guys, so I’ve taken a healing sabbatical.
I was so afraid to enter the dating scene. My ex was not gay, but he turned out to be a thieving bigamist (I was with this man since we were teenagers). I started dating fairly soon and I was certainly broken beyond hiding at the time. However, I was able to go into the encounters with no expectations other than learning something from each date. It took me out of the realm of “good” or bad,” it took the focus off of me and my “performance,” and it meant that I always came away with a little more knowledge and understanding than I had before. I learned about men, relationships, myself, and countless hobbies and interests. All of those lessons serve me well regardless of if he was into to me or not. Good luck!
I supplemented my social life with on-line dating for several years to no avail. There were times when I thought something was wrong with me because of the men that I continued to run into–little to no education/ morals, had kids, and just a bunch of other characteristics that I find undesirable in a mate. To make a long story short, I decided to get offline for the purposes of dating before August 20 of this year regardless of who I met or didn’t meet. Around August 10, quality men seemed to be falling out of the sky. We would have a conversation and/or go out and I’d discover glaring character/personality flaws. For example, the last guy from on line was passive aggressive–angerous type of mate or even friend to have. I am convinced that the men falling out of the sky thing was Satan trying to keep me away from God’s plan for me by distracting me with men who were seemingly desirable mates. I stuck with my plan to end all of my online subscriptions by 8/20, and in that time, I have met several guys, two of which are quality men with no glaring personality disorders. The one that I am fairly interested in, I met at my gym, and we are going out next weekend. It’s an amazing feeling to actually be pursued by a physically fit and tall guy with no kids, degreed, gainfully employed, and who seems to have taken a genuine interest in me.
My point is that while on-line dating works for some, it doesn’t work for everyone…perhaps you should go ahead with your plan to get offline and go out and and meet guys. And that thick emotional callous that you spoke of started to form around my heart too. However, I can honestly say that my whole outlook on dating has changed just in the brief time that i removed my self from online dating sites.
Whatever you decide, I hope it brings you happiness!
The coldest hour on a winters night is just before dawn. One of the things, that being single for an extended period of time, and at a time when we feel hurt or betrayed and in need of comfort, does teach us is to value and hold the one that we eventually find.
Is really just a permutation of the “I am a total weirdo and no one wants to stick around” Because the sinister thought behind this line of reasoning is that there is a way to be right and a way to be wrong. I’m pretty sure I have said this before but I will say it again, if they can’t take your blog they can’t deal with you. So good riddens of them. Enjoy the single life, soon enough you will have to put up with someone that snores, picks his nose, farts loudly and doesn’t listen to a word you say because that’s what all men do, so there.