Being somewhat of a sports nut, I have been pouring over the detailed reports, mountains of stats, player horoscopes, Nostradamos Prophecies, Vegas insider lines, wise guy tips and assorted rumors surrounding the upcoming Super Bowl XLIII Game, and I am officially ready to put my extensive knowledge on the line for all the world to see.
A despondent Bernard Madoff is reportedly on suicide watch. He’s been trumped, by a mannequin.
The Lint Screen has just learned that Bernie Madoff received a confidential e-mail this afternoon from the attorney representing the deposed NIgerian Prince in possession of a magical Greek fishing cap that makes its owner “as cool as Arthur Fonzarelli”– the same cap Madoff paid $50 billion for over a month ago.
In a startling development, it appears ex-president George W. Bush may have his sights set on wearing the Greek fishing cap de coolness from the mysterious deposed Nigerian prince.
$50 billion later, Mr. Bernard Madoff’s about as cool as a penguin on fire.