my bad. I found out old ddr3 works in the end in Dimm 1-4.  It was mixed brand ddr3-1333, not the typical 1600 I have for 9020.  It is just cmos needs up to 1 min to think about the new ram before giving post video. While it was doing this no video but also no beep or amber flash. Power button stays white which should have given me reassurance.  I was too impatient to wait more than a few seconds thinking it did not work.  Once cmos approves the new ram, I got video, and next time it powers on video appears immediately.  Somehow the new memory settings are remembered by cmos after it adjusts ram profile.
installing slow DDR3-1333 (10600) in DIMM 1,2 PC boots installing additional similar DDR3 in DIMM 3, 4, no beep, no video removing all memories, installing second set of DDR3 in DIMM 1, 2, it works. tentative thinking is that DIMM 3/4 are bad, but not sure why. also tried installing in DIMM1,2+3, no dice either.
9020 SFF DIMM 3/4 No POST