How to help a financially self destructive person?
I learned this from a business book on managing people, but I think it applies equally well here.  You can't put in what God left out of people. I know several people with this mentality about money and you simply have to make your sculpture out of the clay you have.  In this case, however, it seems that ship has sailed, considering it is your ex and you aren't on speaking terms. That would make it even harder, and it is debatable about whether it is your prerogative to even try. Just focus on the kids and make it clear to your wife that she needs to be providing the basics (food, shelter, heat, etc.) and don't escalate that unless it becomes a danger to the kids.  In a non-judgmental way (towards your wife) I'd use it as an opportunity to teach your kids about financial responsibility and the dangers of overspending and get-rich quick schemes. It sounds like they have an example in their lives of the consequences of two very different ways of managing one's finances. You say you're not on speaking terms: so you do it via your lawyer. You're divorced: so IMO your obligations are: a) To your kids  b) Purely financial spousal support (if any) If she's irresponsible financially then maybe she isn't the best able to care for your children. Your lawyer ought to be able to tell you what the alternatives are (it's very state-specific so no general advice from the Internet, but if your lawyer can't do that then IMO you need a different lawyer who has more experience with divorce/custody cases). I'm afraid your best recourse may be legal. I don't know that internet is a necessity, but the court would frown upon anyone paying $4K for rent but not being able to afford to heat the water or turn the lights on. $48K a year net should be enough for her to at least keep the kids with these things.  I don't know that you can educate her. Her issue is very deep-seated and far beyond a good financial planning type session. You can't help people that don't want help, period. It just doesn't work, and you will waste your time and energy while making the other person mad. Both sides end up in the same place they started except now they are frustrated with each other. In a normal situation I would advise to stop enabling her by giving her money, but the court has already decided that part.  There is no reason that she can't provide for her children on US$50k per year. In all honesty it sounds like she has a mental health problem and needs to see a professional. You, as the ex-husband, are probably not the right person to tell her that, though. If you really want to help her and are still on good terms with some friends or family members she trusts you could ask them to help her get help. They probably see the same mess that you and your kids do, but might need a little encouragement to act. The other option is if you sued for custody, based on living conditions, the possibility of losing her children and the child support might provide a much needed incentive to clean up her act. You probably won't win over a couple of incidents of the power being turned off and you will be putting your kids in the uncomfortable situation of telling on their mother though. Back in the day, they had a highly effective solution for this type of crap, but it is frowned upon in modern society. The second-best solution would be to get your lawyer to put together a case that she is unfit to be around the children and that visitation rights should be revoked.  Unfortunately, this will most likely not solve her problems, and she will probably become far worse as she feels more alone, alienated, miserable, and embarrassed. "Wow.  Just ... wow. We all must start where we are, I guess.  The past is the past. There almost certainly isn't a cheap way to fix this.  You're already on the hook for $4k per month.  Your money is enabling her behavior.  You'd rather not enable her behavior, but the money is part of the consequences of your divorce, so into her bank account it goes. Those who control how much alimony your ex-wife receives might reach the conclusion she needs more.  That's not a hard conclusion for them to make.  It's not their money. The living conditions are hurting your kids, and that's unfortunate, but that's also part of the consequences of your divorce. If it's deemed that your kids are better off not visiting her, then you might be relieved of paying child support (since you're supporting them at that point) but you might still be supporting her until some trigger is met, which might be never.  (You know those details better than I do, of course.) If she's already lost her house, filed for bankruptcy, borrowed money from people that she hasn't paid back, and gets a check from you each month and still has utilities shut off, she'll continue to deteriorate financially until she hits rock bottom.  Then, and only then, will she see the need to fix her behavior. Now, the (possibly) million dollar question for you is, ""Where is rock bottom?"" Do what you can to make that happen sooner rather than later, because you'll likely be subsidizing her all the way down, and part of the way back up.  You've lost most of the leverage you once had to change her behavior, but try every way you can.  You might hit the jackpot." "I am no expert by any means in divorce situations, but it seems like you probably have more than enough evidence (if you can back up everything you outlined here) that the living conditions an her place are not suitable for kids.  This ought to be enough for you to gain sole custody of the kids.  Maybe you didn't want to keep their mother in the equation for their benefit, but right now it's not to their benefit for her to be in the equation. The honest truth is that you're not in a position to help her being divorced.  You can't force her to do anything as things stand now.  But if you take legal actions to gain sole custody you might be able to lay down some conditions under which she could regain partial custody of the kids.  This might be the ""scare"" approach you're looking for if she cares about her children."
"There's plenty of advice out there about how to set up a budget or track your expenses or ""pay yourself first"". This is all great advice but sometimes the hardest part is just getting in the right frugal mindset. Here's a couple tricks on how I did it.  Put yourself through a ""budget fire drill"" If you've never set a budget for yourself, you don't necessarily need to do that here... just live as though you had lost your job and savings through some imaginary catastrophe and live on the bare minimum for at least a month. Treat every dollar as though you only had a few left. Clip coupons, stop dining out, eat rice and beans, bike or car pool to work... whatever means possible to cut costs. If you're really into it, you can cancel your cable/Netflix/wine of the month bills and see how much you really miss them. This exercise will get you used to resisting impulse buys and train you to live through an actual financial disaster. There's also a bit of a game element here in that you can shoot for a ""high score""... the difference between the monthly expenditures for your fire drill and the previous month.   Understand the power of compound interest. Sit down with Excel and run some numbers for how your net worth will change long term if you saved more and paid down debt sooner. It will give you some realistic sense of the power of compound interest in terms that relate to your specific situation. Start simple... pick your top 10 recent non-essential purchases and calculate how much that would be worth if you had invested that money in the stock market earning 8% over the next thirty years. Then visualize your present self sneaking up to your future self and stealing that much money right out of your own wallet.  When I did that, it really resonated with me and made me think about how every dollar I spent on something non-essential was a kick to the crotch of poor old future me." "SO has observed a lot of irresponsible spending from a parent, which has scarred SO for life OK, so we've got fear... SO is not very financially savvy and has very little idea about how much we earn  ...and ignorance.   You are entirely correct to worry about the conversation. Fear plus ignorance equals disastrous conversations. I manage our finances. Apparently your SO wishes to have input on the management of your finances without understanding them. It strikes me that this serves neither of you well. I would note that it is exceedingly difficult to rationally argue someone out of a position that they arrived at through irrational fear and ignorance. So I wouldn't start by having a conversation about charitable giving at all. Rather, I would start by addressing the ignorance, because that's the easy one.  how high up we are in terms of being in the top y% of households by income Income is irrelevant to the fearful; income can vanish with debts remaining. If your SO is not earning much of that income then SO's future financial security is dependent on the whims of another, which has already turned out badly once for SO.  Focusing on raw income is the wrong way to go; focusing on an abstraction like percentile is even more irrelevant. The figures to focus on are not income and percentile, but rather net worth and change in net worth over time.  Income $300K, expenses $350K eventually leads to poverty if you lack net worth, even if you are in the 1% of income earners. Open up with ""how much do you think we earn?"" Playing rhetorical games with ignorant people seems both risky and perhaps unethical to me, and it seems unlikely to engender trust. I would approach this situation by first removing the ignorance, rather than attempting to take advantage of it for rhetorical purposes.  I would also institute a policy that ignorant people don't get a say. If SO wants to abrogate financial responsibility to you, then SO should accept your decisions without question. If SO wants to have a say in your joint financial life then SO has a responsibility to make recommendations based on both facts and feelings, not just feelings. So, how to remove this ignorance? This will take some doing, but not much. Go through your records and account for: From that you can compute your net worth. Then go back a few years and account for: From this you can show the effect of your past prudent decisions on your net worth. There should be no percentages. There should be no math more complicated than adding and subtracting, and it should be very clear what adds and substracts to what.  People who are financially savvy are extremely intimidated by jargon. If some of your increase in net worth came from a realized capital gain less taxes do not say ""realized capital gain less taxes"" on your summary document. There should be no ""depreciation"" or ""cost basis"" or anything even vaguely like that. Even ""assets"" and ""liabilities"" are too jargonish. ""Possessions"" and ""debts"" are more easily understood. I'm thinking something like: My SO is financially savvy and still I do this about twice a year; it's helpful for both of us to have a quick summary of what's coming in, what's going out, and what we've got. Once the ignorance is gone, then start working on the fear. It sounds like the fear comes from a betrayal of trust, so it's not just enough to be trustworthy, you've got to consistently appear trustworthy. A great way to do that is to keep doing what I already suggested: on a regular, ongoing basis inform SO of how you are doing financially. When SO sees that net worth is consistently improving over time, that you are not one bad decision away from poverty, the fear should diminish. Expect this to take a long time." Perhaps you take it a step further and go cash only.  Cash only will make it just another step harder to spend your cash. Also split your money into multiple accounts.  Checking that auto pays bills, a savings, and an investment account. You have to want to change to change.  Post a blog and public calendar with your expenses and that might make you think twice about spending your money.  If you don't want to tell everybody else, maybe you don't spend it. Perhaps see a shrink too.  You need help identifying patterns before you do them, and having insight into your motivations could help.  I am not saying go forever, but perhaps a few sessions or a couple of months.  You might be addicted to spending.  Join a group and talk about it. "First and foremost you must remember that they are people (something I don't think you have trouble with, but others might). When dealing with increasingly desperate financial struggles, it's not uncommon to allow financial trouble to define you, or for others to see you only as ""poor"". Money is a human creation. It's not real, like fire or water, and ""money problems"" is a misnomer. Whatever problems they have, money is only one symptom. Often, dealing with those deeper human problems, such as lack of confidence, depression, fear or behavioral issues, is the key to correcting ""downstream"" problems like poor money management. Not that learning how to manage money isn't important, but it doesn't sound like that is the primary issue in this case. Westerners tend to view money trouble as distinct from other problems. The answer to money troubles is often understood to be ""more money"" or ""smarter money"" - earn more or spend better. It helps to step back and look beyond finances. What's going in their lives? How does that make them feel? Do they feel unimportant or valueless? How's their family life? Do they have good emotional support, or are they running ""on empty"", trying to fill the emptiness with other things (like games, for example). (Simply telling them to stop purchasing games, for example, without finding a better replacement just perpetuates the feelings of shame, valuelessness and emptiness.) Discovering the deeper elements of your friends' situation is much more complicated than giving them money or paying for a financial counselor (neither of which are bad things), but it may make a tremendous difference not just in your friends' bank account, but in their lives as well. My wife and I have experienced all of this first-hand, so I know the predicament you are in. We've even had people in tough financial situations live in our home with us. In all the situations in which we've been close enough to understand context, money wasn't the primary issue. It's always been something else, more often than not family, but not always. I've found the book When Helping Hurts helpful for gaining some perspective, though it's not a perfect match (since it deals more with poverty on a grand scale). You may still find it helpful in terms of general principles, but, ultimately, each situation is going to be unique and no one-size-fits-all strategy exists to solve all problems. In the end, building a deeper relationship is the best path toward finding a long-term solution." Some lenders will work with you if you contact them early and openly discuss your situation.  They are not required to do so.  The larger and more corporate the lender, the less likely you'll find one that will work with you. My experience is that your success in working out repayment plan for missed payments depends on the duration of your reduced income.  If this is a period of unemployment and you will be able to pay again in a number of months, you may be able to work out a plan on some debts. If you're permanently unable to pay in full, or the duration is too long, you may have to file bankruptcy to save your domicile and transportation.  The ethics of this go beyond this forum, as do the specifics of when it is advisable to file bankruptcy. Research your area, find debt counselling.  They can really help with specifics.  Speak with your lenders, they may be able to refer you to local non-profit services.  Be sure that you find one of those, not one of the predatory lenders posing as credit counselling services.  There's even some that take the money you can afford to pay, divide it up over your creditors, allowing you to keep accruing late/partial payment fees, and charge you a fee on top of it.  To me this is fraudulent and should be cause for criminal charges. The key is open communication with your lenders with disclosure to the level that they need to know.  If you're disabled, long term, they need to know that.  They do not need to know the specific symptoms or causes or discomforts.  They need to know whether the Social Security Administration has declared you disabled and are paying you a disability check.  (If this is the case, you probably have a case worker who can find you resources to help negotiate with your creditors). "You know what helped me? Asking this question:   ""What happens if this fails utterly and miserably?""  When you really assess that question,and answer it honestly and rationally, you will probably find that you stand to lose very little in the grand scheme. Some cash. Some time. But there will be more of both. And if you've got the cajones to pursue your own business now, you'll have still have them if your first attempt goes bottom-up.  The best thing about this exercise is that it forces you to realize that you aren't ever going to be homeless, barring some mental breakdown and/or crippling addiction." "I think it's great that you want to contribute. Course Instructor You may want to take a look at becoming an instructor for a course like Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. These are commonly offered through churches and other community venues for a fee. This may be a good fit if you want to focus on basic financial literacy, setting up and sticking to a budget, and getting their financial ""house"" in order. It may not be a good fit if you don't want to teach an existing curriculum, or if you find the tenets of the course too unpalatable. A significant number of the people in Dave's audience are close to or in the middle of a financial meltdown, and so his advice includes controversial ideas such as avoiding credit altogether, often because that's how they got into their current mess. Counselor If you want to run your own show, I know of several people who have built their own practice that is run along the lines of a counselor charging hourly rates, and they work with couples who are having money problems. Building a reputation and a network of referring counselors and professionals is key here, and definitely seems like it would require a full-time commitment. I would avoid ""credit counseling"" and the like. Most of these organizations are focused on restructuring credit card debt, not spending signficant time on behavioral change. You don't need a series 7, 63, 65 etc. or even a CFA. I've previously acquired a number of these and can confirm that they are investment credentials that are intended to help you get a job and/or get more business as a broker or conventional financial planner, i.e. salesperson of securities. The licensure process is necessary to protect consumers from advice that serves the investment sales force but is bad for the consumer, and because you must be licensed to provide investment advice. There is a class of fee-only financial planners, but they primarily deal with complex issues that allow them to make money, and often give away basic personal finance advice for free in the form of articles, podcasts, etc.  Charity For part-time or free work, in my area there are also several charity organizations that help people do their taxes and provide basic budgeting and personal finance instruction, but this is very localized and may vary quite a bit depending on where you live. However, if there are none near you, you can always start one! Journalism If you have an interest in writing, there are also people who work as journalists and write columns, books, or newsletters, and it is much easier now to publish and build a network online, either on your own, through a blog or contributing to a website. Speaker at Community events There are also many opportunities to speak to a specific community such as a church or social organization. For example, where I live there are local organizations for Spanish speaking, Polish speaking, elderly, young professional, young mother and retiree groups for example, all of who might be interested in your advice on issues that specifically address their needs. Good luck!" "You sound like you're already doing a lot to improve your situation... paying off the credit cards, paying off the taxes, started your 401k... I'm in a similar situation, credit ruined & savings gone after the divorce.  I know it feels like you're just spinning your wheels, but look at it this way: every monthly payment you make on a debt directly increases your net worth.  Paying those bills regularly is one of the single best things you can do right now. As for how you can improve your situation, only two things really jump out at me: 1) $1,300 in rent, plus $300 in utilities, seems quite high for a single man.  I don't know the housing costs in your area, though.  Depending on where you live, you could cut that in half while still living alone, or get a roommate and save even more.  You might have to accept a ""suboptimal"" living arrangement (like a smaller apartment), but we all have to sacrifice at times. 2) That last $1,000... you really need to budget how it's being spent.  Consider cooking at home more / eating out less, or trading in your car for one with lower insurance premiums.  Or spending less money on the kids.  You say it's for their entertainment, but don't say what that is... are we talking about going to the movies once a month, or rock concerts twice a week? 3) If the kids are on their own for college, it's not the end of the world.  I know you want to provide the best future you can for them... help them get good grades, and it'll do more for them than any amount of money. After all those & any other ways you find to save money, even if you can only put a hundred bucks in a savings account at the end of the month (and I'd be surprised if you couldn't put five), do it.  Put it in, and leave it there, despite the temptation to take it out and spend it." "I fear this question may be impossible to answer, beyond the options you already seem to know about.  It depends too much on the details of your situation, some of which you say you don't know.  If you don't even know how much debt you have, I think you're going to need some kind of professional advice to assess your situation.  One place to start is the National Foundation for Credit Counseling.  This organization can provide free or low-cost advice about your situation, including bankruptcy options. That said, the main missing piece I see in your question is your expenses.  The first thing you should ask yourself is: what am I spending money on, and can I stop spending on money on that in order to save and/or pay off debt instead?  You say that you can ""live comfortably paycheck to paycheck"" and ""routinely"" put money into savings.  Can you start living uncomfortably and thus put a lot more into savings, or towards debt repayment?  Whether this will work or not depends on how much debt you have, but it definitely needs to be part of your thought process. Likewise, if you continually are wiped out by unbudgeted expenses, start budgeting for them." This tale makes me sad the more I learn of it.  I am impressed with your dedication and caring for your ex-wife and particularly your kids; you seem like a good person from your questions. But you are tired and exasperated too.  You have every right to be.  The problem isn't how this woman can rent a new apartment (which there isn't a good way that won't screw over some unsuspecting landlord) but how to get this woman into conseling on a regular basis.  Not just money, but personal or group therapy. She honestly needs help and must face this problem herself otherwise these questions will never stop.  I know you mentioned this doesn't appear to be an option, anf maybe it isn't your job, but I. See your questions are much deeper than personal finance. I wish you the best and I really do admire your resolve to take care of your kids. "I have the same problem. The people above are right to an extent. You have to be more disciplined. But there is no reason why you can't get there in stages. If you try to do too much too fast you'll just give up. You need to find a system that removes some of the passive barriers affecting you.  You need to think what in particular is overwhelming you. For me it was sitting down at the end of the month to write it all down. Writing it all down at the end of the week or even each day didn't work either because it was too much and I had forgotten what stuff was. I'm like you.  The bank account is a record so why do I have to retype it or worse, hand write it out? Bleh. What I ended up doing was divide my expenses into four categories: food (to include all medical) shelter, transportation, spending -- with the first three being needs and the last being wants.  Eating out is spending. I have four checking accounts with four debit cards. I saved up some money. I put a paycheck's worth of money in each because I didn't know how much I spent each month in each category, but knew I didn't spend an entire paycheck in any one category per month. Voila.  No more work. At the store you just put things in the basket by category. At Target you pay for the food and toothpaste with the medical card and the DVD with the spending card. The cashiers don't care that you pay separately. And if you are buying so much crap that separating items by category is a problem, why the heck are you buying so much crap? At the end of the month you will now have a record of how much you spend on transportation, housing (electricity would be paid online from this account for example), medical and fun. That's all anyone needs to help you get started. You can then see if your housing is 35% or less (or whatever percentage you feel is right). The person trying to help the author above is right. A Target charge doesn't indicate whether you bought some oil for the car or cold medicine or a lock for the cabinet door that broke. But when you pay for each of these things under the right account, you do know how the money is allocated.  Doing it this way requires little discipline. Before you put the item in the basket, you just ask yourself, is this a want or a need (which is something you should be doing anyway). If it's a need, is it for my car, house, or body. The house is what I use if i can't figure it out (like paying for the renewal of my professional license).  that's it! You have to stand at the register for longer but so what.  If you are spending all your salary and you stop when you have no more money (assuming you've run through all of your savings, which you will soon if you don't change), then you have no more money to spend. So if you are honest when you put things in the basket(need vs want), you are going to run out of spending money real quick. Your spending money account will be empty but you will still have food money. Set your debit card up so that it denies your charge if you dont have enough money.  Once you realize how much you truly spend for needs in each category, yoy will only put that much in each account. Therefore, You can't use the house card to just ""borrow"" from it till next month. If you do, you won't be able to pay your bills. If you have so little discipline that you knowingly spend your bill money, then there is a deeper issue going on than just finding the right budgeting/cash flow system for you.  Something is seriously wrong and you need to seek professional help. When someone is trying to help you, the first step is to determine what category you are spending too much in. Then when you realize it's the house category, for example, you will need to figure out why you are spending so much in that category. A bank statement wont tell you that. So you can do what we did. On every receipt --before you walk out of the store-- write down what each purchase is on the receipt. Then you can hand over the receipts to whoever is helping you.  Most items are easily recognizable on the receipt so you wont have to write everything down.  you should be doing this for insurance purposes anyway.   Again, if your receipt is so blooming long that this is onerous, probably everything you just spent is not a need and maybe you need to turn right around and return stuff. Maybe you need to go to the store more often so there are only a few purchases on each receipt. Groceries are groceries.  You don't need to detail that out. For Ikea when you have to purchase pieces to a set, we get a separate receipts for each.  So the brackets and shelving for the bedroom will be on one receipt and the brackets and shelving for the other room will be on another receipt. Even at the store I cant figure out what all the little pieces are! But really, if you are making a decent enough salary, then you are probably spending too much on wants and are calling the items needs.  So really your problem is correctly identifying needs from wants. Define a NEED. YOU. Make up your own definition of need Dwell on it.  Let it become meaningful for you.  Oranges are a need. Chocolate is not (no, really it's not! Lol!).  So when you are putting the stuff in the basket, you dont even have to think about whether it's a need or not after a while.  Wants go in the child seat if at all possible (to keep the number of items smaller).  When you are ready to check out, add up the items roughly in the want pile. Ask yourself if you really want all that stuff. Then put some stuff back! At this point ask yourself is the 8 hours I will have to work to pay for this worth it? Am I really going to use it? Will using the item make me happy? Or is it the actual buying of the item that makes me feel powerful? Where will I put it? How much time will I need to maintain it? Then put some stuff back! Get some good goals, a kayaking trip or whatever. Ask yourself if the item is worth delaying the trip. How will I feel later? Will I have buyers remorse? If so, put it back! These are controls you can put into place that don't take a lot of discipline. Writing the items down on the receipt is a more advanced step you can take later.  If you are with friends, go first so that you can write down the items while they are checking out. If you are private and don't want to share your method with your friends, go to the bathroom and in the stall write it down while they wait. Writing the items on the receipt while in the store is sort of a trigger mechanism for remembering to do so.  That pulling out of the card triggers your memory to get out your pen or ask the cashier for one. The side benefit is catching someone using a cloned copy of your card.  In the medical account if you see an Exxon charge, you know it's not yours.  Also, while that one account is shut down, you have three others to rely on in the meantime.  My spouse hated fumbling for the right card. They all look the same. Color code your cards. We have blue cross blue shield so it feels natural to have the food/medical account with a blue sticker (just buy a little circle sticker and place it on the edge so half is on the front and half is on the back -- nowhere near the strip). I've never been given a hard time about it. Our car is red so the car card is red, etc.  If you think four cards is a lot to carry, ask yourself if you would rather carry four cards or keep track of every little thing?  Good luck. I know you will find a system that works for you if you keep trying." Forcing someone to pay for your personal bills is always immoral. If you need help then ask for it, but don't point a gun at someone and just take it.  It is first and foremost your responsibility if you can't afford private insurance. You're crazy to cash out your Roth or take on 401k loan, as that is addressing a short-term problem without doing anything about the longer-term issue. Just don't do it. Through no fault of her own, your mom is insolvent. It happens to people all of the time, and the solution is chapter 7 bankruptcy.  The only thing that I would do with my money in this situation is help her with bankruptcy attorney fees if needed, and maybe bid on it at auction, if the house in in good shape. "There are several tactics you might employ to help the situation.  You have two options, one is to increase your income, the other is to reduce your expenditure.  Paying off debt will also help but that may not apply to you. Most people find it easier to reduce expenditure, so I will explain that first of all. Then make sure you track your actual expenditure agains the budget, check it daily and make sure it is accurate, if you spend some money you didn't budget for then mark that down and make sure you budget for it going forward. Most people are surprised at how much they are actually spending, especially on trivial things like coffee, lunch at work etc.  You will then find you can start to reduce this expenditure, maybe by bringing lunch to work, skipping coffee every other day etc. By doing a budget you can reduce your expenditure and hopefully have some money left over to save - put a line in your budget marked savings (ideally on the day you get paid so you don't spend it)! If you ned to save $x by Y date then work out how much that works out in a month and put that into your budget, if you haven't got enough spare to do that then onto stage 2 With regards to increasing income, the obvious way is to do some overtime at work - can you do that? Alternatively you can get a part-time job, maybe a hobby that pays money?  I personally enjoy building web-sites as a hobby and I get about $20 a month from advertising on those, it's not much but it adds up over time. Finally how to actually save, what methods are there? Lots of options here, personally I buy shares with my savings, making sure I pick stocks that are currently cheap - this is quite risky and may not suit you but it works for me as I don't sell the shares until I actually need the money. Other options are regular savings accounts that pay a bonus after you've had the money in for (usually) 12 months etc.  They tend to pay a bonus at the end so you are incentivised to not touch your cash but you can get it out if you really need it. You can also work out how much ""spare"" cash you have monthly and then give yourself an ""allowance"" each month that you can spend on impulse items, but make sure you stick to that. Good luck!" Regarding the opportunity cost comparison, consider the following two scenarios assuming a three-year lease: Option A: Keep your current car for three years In this scenario, you start with a car that's worth $10,000 and end with a car that's worth $7,000 after three years. Option B: Sell your current car, invest proceeds, lease new car Here, you'll start out with $10,000 and invest it.  You'll start with $10,000 in cash from the sale of your old car, and end with $10,000 plus investment gains. You'll have to estimate the return of your investment based on your investing style.   Option C: Use the $10k from proceeds as down payment for new car In this scenario you'll get a reduction in finance charges on your lease, but you'll be out $10,000 at the end. Overall Cost Comparison To compare the total cost to own your current car versus replacing it with a new leased car, first look up the cost of ownership for your current car for the same term as the lease you're considering.  Edmunds offers this research and calls it True Cost to Own.   Specifically, you'll want to include depreciation, fuel, insurance, maintenance and repairs.  If you still owe money you should also factor the remaining payments.  So the formula is: Cost to keep car = Depreciation + Fuel + Insurance + Maintenance + Repairs On the lease side consider taxes and fees, all lease payments, fuel, and maintenance.  Assume repairs will be covered under warranty.  Assume you will put down no money on the lease and you will finance fees, taxes, title, and license when calculating lease payments.  You also need to consider the cost to pay off your current car's loan if applicable.  Then you should subtract the gains you expect from investing for three years the proceeds from the sale of your car. Assume that repairs will be covered under warranty.  The formula to lease looks like: Lease Cost = Fuel + Insurance + Maintenance + Lease payments - (gains from investing $10k) For option C, where you use the $10k from proceeds as down payment for new lease, it will be: Lease Cost = Fuel + Insurance + Maintenance + Lease payments + $10,000 A somewhat intangible factor to consider is that you'll have to pay for body damage to a leased car at the end of the lease, whereas you are obviously free to leave damage unrepaired on your own vehicle.