Next steps for (not me): a recently-divorced single mom, in California, with a 2yr-old
She should call 211. This is exactly how they help. The 2-1-1 service is run by the United Way, a nonprofit organization. The 2-1-1 service strives to be a clearinghouse for services within a local area.
You have multiple things going on some of which will work in opposite directions. This is a second job for the family so that their income will be added onto of the main income. This generally means that the 2nd income has too little tax withheld. The tax tables used by employers have no way of handling this situation. This 2nd job is being started part way though the tax year, so too much in taxes is withheld. If they make 2,000 a month for 4 months that would mean 8,000 in income; but the tax tables used by the employer withhold at the $24,000 per year rate. The third issue is the great variation in the number of hours per pay period. This means that too much is withheld in checks with the most hours, and too little in the ones with the least hours. For this year you have a reprieve. As long as you make the safe-harbor levels for federal withholding, you can avoid penalties when you file next spring. To do so just make sure that the withholding of all the jobs in the family equal or exceed the total income tax for the family last year. Note this isn't equal to last years withholding, or equal to the refund last year, but the total tax you should have paid. The general advice is to set the smaller income to have 0 exemptions, and use the W-4 for the larger income to make adjustments. In the past I have done this to make sure that we make the safe-harbor level. You can make adjustments in the new year once you know what the safe harbor goal is for the rest of the year. You say you're not on speaking terms: so you do it via your lawyer. You're divorced: so IMO your obligations are: a) To your kids  b) Purely financial spousal support (if any) If she's irresponsible financially then maybe she isn't the best able to care for your children. Your lawyer ought to be able to tell you what the alternatives are (it's very state-specific so no general advice from the Internet, but if your lawyer can't do that then IMO you need a different lawyer who has more experience with divorce/custody cases). She can find a landlord that doesn't do credit checks.  Maybe on Craigslist?  She may end up paying more, have a bigger security deposit, etc. She can get someone else (not you) to sit her down and explain to her frankly that she's messing things up for herself and her children by being a poor manager of her finances.  As her credit score improves, more opportunities will open up for her. Co-signing the loan is an option, but I do think you're wise not to do that. This is an all too common problem and is not easy to resolve. Divorce agreements do not alter prior mortgage contracts. Most importantly, the bank is not required, and will not normally, remove the girlfriend from the mortgage even if she quitclaimed it to her Ex. If he has abandoned the property there is a good chance he will not make any more future payments. She should be prepared to make the payments if he doesn't or expect her credit to continue to deteriorate rapidly. She needs to contact her divorce attorney to review their mutual obligations. A court can issue orders to try to force the Ex to fulfill the divorce agreement.  However, a court cannot impose a change to the mortgage obligations the borrowers made to the bank. Focus on this. It's far more important than adding her to a car loan or credit card. Sorry for the bad news. As for the car loan, it's best to leave her off the loan. You will get better terms without her as a joint owner. You can add her as an additional driver for insurance purposes. Adding her to your credit cards will help her credit but not a lot if the mortgage goes to default or foreclosure. I think the statute of limitations is 2 years so I suspect that she may not qualify, also BOA was not the last bank to hold her mortgage.  I doubt she'll receive anything. She's just glad the whole mess is behind her. "I would suggest you do three things: If you do all three of these, the time will come when ""2 months off to go to Italy this winter and ride bikes through wine country"" is something you both want to do, can afford to do, and have arranged your lives to make it feasible. Or whatever wow-cool thing you might dream of. Buying a vacation property. Renovating an old house. The time may also come when you can take a chance on no income for 6 months to start a business that will give you more flexibility about when and where you work. Or when you can switch from working for a pay cheque to volunteering somewhere all day every day. You (as a couple) will have the freedom to make those kinds of decisions if you have that safety net of long term savings, as long as you also have a strong and happy relationship because you didn't spend 40 years arguing about money and whether or not you can afford things." Your mother has a problem that is typical for a woman with children.  She is trying to help her children have a good life, by sacrificing to get them to a point where they can live comfortably on their own.  Though she has a difficult situation now, much of the problems come from a very few choices by her and her children, and her situation can be fixed. Let me point out a few of the reasons why she has come to this point: My mother is a single mom... she is turning 50 this summer... she has about $60k in school loans from the college I attended... she has payments of $500/month ($10k) to my sisters college... she lives on her own in a 2 bedroom apartment... Mother's current 'income statement', Income Essentials (total $3131, 71%, too high, goal $2200) Lifestyle (total $150, low, she should have $500-900 to live her life) Financial (total $1350, 31%) Some observations and suggestions: Even though the $1625 rents seems high, your mom might enjoy her apartment and consider part of her rent ($300) a lifestyle choice (spending money for time), and the higher rent may make sense.  But the rent is high for her income. Your mom should be spending more on food, and budget $200/month. Your mom should be saving money for investments and retirement.  She should be putting 10% into savings ($440), plus any IRA/401K pretax savings. Your sister should be paying for her own college.  She should take her own student loans, so that her mother can save for retirement.  And since she only has $10K left, an alternative would be that you could loan her the money, and she could repay you when she graduates (you have money, as you loaned your mother $8K). You should be repaying the $500/month on the $60K student loan your mother took to help you get through college.  You have benefited from the education, and the increased opportunity the college education has given you.  Now is the time to accept responsibility and pay your debts.  You could at least agree to split the expense with her, and were you paying even $300/month (leaving $200 for her), that would still fix her budget. Your mom should get a car that is paid for and reduce her transportation expenses, until the $350/month debt is resolved.  She should resolve to spend no more than $300/month for a car, and with $100/month for insurance be under 10% for her vehicle. Since your mother lives in the US (NJ) she could avoid the $350/month debt payment though BK.  But since there are other solutions she could exercise to resolve her problems, this is probably not needed. You mom could consider sharing her apartment to share expenses.  Paying $1625 for an apartment for one person seems extravagant.  She might enjoy sharing her apartment with a room-mate. That is about it.  Once her children take responsibility for their lives, your mom will have a manageable budget, and less stress in her life. Mother's revised 'income statement', Income Essentials (total $2721, 62%, high, need to reduce by $500) Lifestyle (total $450, 10%, low) Financial (total $990, 23%) While you and your sister have these changes, Summary of changes: Some rent is lifestyle, reduced car loan by $200, sister pays her college $500, you pay your college $300, mom saves 10% of her income.  Once your sister graduates and starts to repay you for your help with her college, you can take over paying the remainder of your loans, saving your mom an additional $200/month. "all the other answers are spot on, but look at it this way. really all you mean when you say ""building equity"" is ""accumulating wealth"".  if that is the goal, then having her invest the money in a brokerage (e.g. ira) account makes a lot more sense.  if you can't afford the apartment without her, then you can't afford to pay out her portion of the equity in the future.  which means she is not building equity, you are just borrowing money from her.  the safest and simplest thing for you to do is to agree on a number that does not include ""equity"". to be really safe, you might want to both sign something in writing that says she will never have an equity stake unless you agree to it in writing.  it doesn't have to be anything fancy. in fact, the shorter the better. i am thinking about 3 sentences should do the trick. if you feel you absolutely have to borrow money from her on a monthly basis to afford your mortgage, then i recommend you make it an unsecured loan.  just be sure to specify the interest rate (even if it is zero), and the repayment terms (and ideally, late payment penalties). again, nothing fancy, 10 sentences maybe.  e.g. ""john doe will borrow x$ per month, until jane doe vacates the apartment. after such time, john doe will begin repaying the loan at y$ per month...."" that said, borrowing money from friends and family almost never turns out well. at the very least, you need to save up a few months of rent so that if you do break up, you have time to find another roommate. disclaimer: i do not have any state-issued professional licenses." My opinion is to hold off. I don't see housing market rising anytime soon, possibly even going lower, so you don't have to worry about getting in before it rises. Pay off the credit card debt, maybe even earlier if possible, then that flexibility will be there, the divorce proceedings may have an end in sight, and therefore you'll know more about any outcomes from that. The economy is still shaky, the flexibility of renting may come in real handy. "This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://story.californiasunday.com/cost-of-college) reduced by 98%. (I'm a bot) ***** &gt; Liz was 24 and halfway through her first semester at California State University, Long Beach.  &gt; Megan, who had dark hair and a regal bearing, had tumbled out of wealth and was dating a man who knew Liz&amp;#039;s dad. After Megan&amp;#039;s boyfriend - a meth user, she said - died, Liz&amp;#039;s dad invited her to share Liz&amp;#039;s small pink room without consulting his daughter.  &gt; It&amp;#039;s on a scruffy stretch of Long Beach Boulevard near Oscar&amp;#039;s Nails, a Wing Stop, and a weeded lot next to a building announcing WE BUY CARS. Neighbors refer to Megan as Liz&amp;#039;s mom - &amp;quot;You know Liz, the girl who sings.""   ***** [**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/72utdo/the_college_try/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ ""Version 1.65, ~217699 tl;drs so far."") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr ""PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome."") | *Top* *keywords*: **Liz**^#1 **Kersheral**^#2 **State**^#3 **more**^#4 **out**^#5" "No hope for you, my friend. Your life is over. Smile. Not true at all. If there's anything America is all about it's redemption and starting over. In fact, starting over is our middle name: United Starting Over States of America. Ulysses Grant failed once as a farmer and twice as a businessman before he became, well, U.S. Grant, major hero and president. He also graduated near the bottom of his class at West Point -- as did Sen. John McCain from the Naval Academy. John F. Kennedy had basically a C+ average in high school and his daddy weaseled JFK's way into Harvard, and he didn't turn out too badly. Other than the assassination, I mean.   The idea that your grades or your former life have much to do with your later life seems logical. But it's also not very accurate. Grades predict very little. Many people who screwed up pretty badly, later became very successful.   So, stop even worrying about past grades or your silly DUI. If I were applying, in fact, I'd write my essay about redemption, mentioning the DUI as a life turning point and noting that you no longer drink because of it. Unlike some other college students, ahem ahem ahem. They may be relieved to hear from an older student who has reformed his life, a type of student colleges very much like as opposed to little 18 year old children who get drunk all the time of which they have quite enough, thank you very much.   I'd also attack the bad grades from a few years ago problem by enrolling in a local college in some way (perhaps they have an extension program or maybe you have a junior college nearby). Take a group of solidly academic courses (perhaps including business course) and do very well in them. I'd take two or three at a time, giving you time to focus on them deeply. Do what you need to do to do well -- talk to the professor early in the course about the course themes and goals (and so they know who you are), work well ahead of time on all papers and edit, edit, edit them. Study like crazy for every test. Use available review books. Get a tutor if you need one, preferably someone at the college who has taken the class. Talk to others who have taken the class before you for their advice. Also talk to the professor about how best to review for each test -- meet with them a week before the test to ""go over"" your questions. A good approach is for you to say that you think ""such and such"" are the main themes so you'll be studying them for the test. Few professors can risk correcting you if those are not the main themes. This can be immensely helpful to you in getting your focused on what you need to study (meaning what they plan to ask about on the test). As a former teacher, I always corrected students who misunderstood major course themes or were focusing on trivia rather than larger issues and problems. This also sends the message that you are a hard worker, likely giving you some benefit of the doubt (""89? Oh, heck, give him an A-"").   With a few tough courses with good grades behind you, you have a much stronger record to apply with. And this shows you are serious since you went out of your way to take these courses.   Broader your view of ""top tier"" schools as many schools that are not in the Top Ten silliness will offer programs that are just as good. Then research your ""top tier"" schools to find out what kind of student they're looking for. Do they want someone who has done something different? Someone who took some time off (like you!) to travel and work? Emphasize this in your application. Emphasize your extra effort to take courses, your job, your maturity and experience. Colleges love that. Whatever kind of application essay you write, make it about your life and how it's shaped you, your outlook and your efforts. And make sure it's carefully edited -- not mistakes, no bad grammar, no spelling mistakes, etc. Perfect. Get and English teacher or someone you trust to advise you on it.   No, of course you are not wasting your time. Just make every reasonable effort to make schools want to accept you, and every reasonable effort to prepare well for more college. That is, after all, all you can really do. Then whatever happens work hard and do your best." All I need to clear the CC debt I’m in is 6k.  I couldn’t work when my baby was post-op and I can’t catch up no matter how I try and I swear to God I’m gonna steal it if I can’t figure out wtf to do soon. I work 50+ hours a week and pick up OT on sundays, and I want to be with my son otherwise but I know if I have to get a second job I could pay this off quicker but I will never see him. I know I failed using the CCs when I had to be home w him but there was no money, that was it. The cards were all zero balance and hadn’t been used in over two years but I didn’t know what else to do when he was sick. It kept us afloat. I’m back at work, we live modestly - are there people in the world who just meet people and realize they’re decent human beings and just give them money to be nice and help them out? No strings attached? I'm sorry, lowest point in 40 years was 2 years ago. My bad. I think the point still applies. Also the numbers are skewed because in the 50's many people believed that the mother not having to go to work was a sign of success. "Did it show just your address, or was your name on it as well?   You didn't share how long you've lived at the address either, so it makes me wonder whether a former tenant is the one who filed that paperwork.  It's also possible that someone used your address when making a filing.  Whether that was deliberate or accidental is hard to discern, as is their intent if it was intentional. It could be accidental -- someone picked ""CA"" for California when they meant to pick ""CO"" for Colorado or ""CT"" for Connecticut...These things do happen.  It can't make you feel any better about the situation though. You should be able to go online to the California Secretary of State's website (here) and look up everything filed by the LLC with the state.  That will show who the founders were and everything else that is a matter of public record on the LLC.  At the very least, you can obtain the registered agent's name and address for the LLC, which you can then use to contact them and ask why your address is listed as the LLC's business address. Once you have that info, you can then contact the Secretary of State and tell them it isn't you so they can do whatever is necessary to correct this. This doesn't sound like a difficult matter to clear up, but it's important to do your homework first and gather as much information as you can before you call the state.  Answering ""I don't know"" won't get you very far with them compared to having the best answers you can about where the mistake started. I hope this helps. Good luck!" "An unmarried person with a total U.S.-sourced earned income under $ 37,000 during the year 2016 is likely to owe: If the original poster is not an ""independent contractor"", and is not ""billing corp-to-corp"" then: In summary: References:"