What to do if my aging father is sustaining a hobby that is losing several thousand dollars every month?
You've already counted the cost. It will cost your family ~$10,000 per month until your father dies, or until there's no money left, to enable him to pretend that he is a successful business owner. I'd ask him when he thinks business is going to pick up again.  He may be honest with himself. Or, ask him to consider what will happen if he outlives the money that's going out the door.  Ask him if he would like to be bankrupt on top of needing to close his business. (I don't view asking those questions as being unloving, by the way.) If this was going on in the UK, I would try to get a mental capacity assessment done on the father. There are laws that stop you taking advantage of people that don’t understand what is going on; these laws could be used against the manager, but only if you can clearly prove that the father does not understand that the “business” is losing money. If the father does understand what is going on, then there is nothing you can do, as he has every right to waste his money, and anyone that may inherit what is left has no rights until he is dead. How about opening a Coffee shop section in the bookshop to generate some cash flow per month to offset some of the expenses ?  Off course success of this venture will depend on where the location of shop is, how big it is  and whether people are coffee enthusiast in that region. Since the rent/mortgage ( the major expense) is already taken care of all you have to do is invest in one time expenses for : Interior (hip these days - rustic expose brick walls, nostalgic filament light, chalk board menu, etc  )   Seating (big communal table, lounge couch, some regular table chairs,some out door seats if weather is good) ...and the ugly licencing and approval. Throw in some social media marketing, SEO, yelp,urbanspoon, tripadvisor, etc If the bookstore is old, I am assuming it might have the old world charm & character which could attract lot of coffee enthusiast. The unique and competitive edge of this coffee shop could be its historic charm , which no other competitor can achieve. Would definitely beat the staryuks. Even if no one shows up , only recurring additional expense will be barrista wages. The interior , seating and coffee m/c costs can be minimized by savvily shopping stuff on community sites like craigslist, gumtree etc. I beleive if you are in US , everything could be set up under 6K. Later on premade food items like bananacake, raw cacao balls, toasted panini sandwich etc. can be added. If one has 3 key ingredients in food industry - Location, Vibe and taste, then there is high probability that they will succeed. At the same time one should be cognizant that 95 % of business fail in first 3 years and therefore they should have an exit plan. Unfortunately if your business does not work, then you exit cost would be just getting rid of the equipment & furniture. Just to put in perspective, some Dunkin Donut shops that I was researching in North East were clearing between 1/2 to 1 mil per year.  As it is the current damage per month is 10k, if this business offsets even some of the damage it would be worth while. So the cost of keeping the pride of 91 yo dad can potentially reduce from 10k to 2-3 k. Who knows if it takes off , one day it could be a good sustainable business and might turn into a win-win situation for you and your father. I have made lot of assumption without knowing the facts like- you are located in US, you have risk appetite,  bookshop is not in industrial area but some prime retail area like this :  ... etc. While I am at it { giving unsolicited advise that is}.. Currently the books in the bookshop are very old books that it published by itself. Nobody is interested in reading these books. Due to his previous excitement of getting editors and publishing books, there are thousands of books that need to be kept in storerooms. They don’t move because people hardly buy any books from this bookshop. To help the old published book sales why not convert the old books to ebooks using providers like 'Blueleaf-book-scanning'  and publish the books on  amazon kindle,itunes & play store. The books will be available online forever and they might get exposure to tons of book enthusiast around the world. I heard at one of our client's MDS ( mass digitization system ) project , they had in-house robot scanning machine like Treventus Pardon me if none of the above gibberish applies to your situation , but hpefully  SE community might have some fun reading this for  kicks and giggles . Cheers and good luck. Source: I am US person in Australia, operated restaurant / bar in US , visited 100's of coffee shops, consulting for living, ...and a dreamer { :-) hard not to imagine from the short post}.
IMHO these people need to understand finance.  I think Dave Ramsey is the best for this kind of situation.  They need their butts kicked.  What kind of parent spends money on playing cards when they have a child and not a place of their own?  Answer:  Parents that needs to grow up.   Most of all they probably have an income problem.  I would assume that the husband stays at home because he does not earn enough to justify quality child care.  Okay how about he cares for a few other kids and turns watching one kid into an income stream?  Duh? Giving them money will only hurt them in the long run.  They are holding onto childhood, avoiding becoming adults.  No amount of money you can give them will dig them out of their rut, in fact it may only prolong it.   MTG is an intellectual game.  If he spent half as much brain power on earning a living, the could probably be well off, and earn enough to have a tidy budget for gaming.   Sorry Yamikuronue, but I disagree with your first comment. "The lead story here is you owe $12,000 on a car worth $6000!!  That is an appalling situation and worth a lot to get out of it.  ($6000, or a great deal more if the car is out of warranty and you are at risk of a major repair too.)  I'm sorry if it feels like the payments you've made so far are wasted; often the numbers do work out like this, and you did get use of the car for that time period. Now comes an ""adversary"", who is threatening to snatch the car away from you.  I have to imagine they are emotionally motivated.  How convenient :) Let them take it.  But it's important to fully understand their motivations here.  Because financially speaking, the smart play is to manage the situation so they take the car. Preferably unbeknownst that the car is upside down.  Whatever their motivation is, give them enough of a fight; keep them wrapped up in emotions while your eye is on the numbers.  Let them win the battle; you win the war: make sure the legal details put you in the clear of it.  Ideally, do this with consent with the grandfather ""in response to his direct family's wishes"", but keep up the theater of being really mad about it.  Don't tell anyone for 7 years, until the statute of limitations has passed and you can't be sued for it. Eventually they'll figure out they took a $6000 loss taking the car from  you, and want to talk with you about that.  Stay with blind rage at how they took my car.  If they try to explain what ""upside down"" is, feign ignorance and get even madder, say they're lying and they won, why don't they let it go?  If they ask for money, say they're swindling. ""You forced me, I didn't have a choice"".  (which happens to be a good defense.  They wanted it so bad; they shoulda done their homework.  Since they were coercive it's not your job to disclose, nor your job to even know.)  If they want you to take the car back, say ""can't, you forced me to buy another and I have to make payments on that one now.""" You probably have a UMTA/UGMA account. While the money in that account belongs to you, as long as you're a minor (which is until the age of 18, in California) - you cannot directly access it. Instead, your parent(s) or guardian(s) or any other trustee manages that account for you, with your best interests in mind. While you may want to spend that money or give it away to your boyfriend or whoever else, it is very likely not in your best interest to do that. That is why your dad refuses. He has a legal responsibility, which is called fiduciary duty, to ensure the money is spent in a way that is best for you. If the fiduciary just lets you spend the money away - you could later, when you're no longer a minor, sue that person for the breach of trust. When you're older and a bit more mature you'll be able to make your own decisions and do whatever you want with that money. But as long as your parents have the responsibility to act in your best interests, it is likely that your boyfriend will stay in Pennsylvania for a while. This may be best handled by an expert. Look for somebody recommended by a church, homeless shelter, food pantry, office of unemployment, office of disability,  or Veterans services to advise you on maximizing support for your father.  You want to know what type of help you can give without causing the overall level of support to drop. You may even find there are other avenues of assistance. Might want to cross-post to /r/financialindependence;  I'm in a similar situation like yours. The problem is that working hard and really hustling it lost a lot of it's primal motivation because the utility of extra money isn't there.   You have to be intrinsically motivated to achieve it, or gain enough satisfaction from the other factors that comes with it (power, ego, etc.). If none of these are super-motivating to you, like it was for me, then you need to find something that is a lot of fun to you, but at the same time still very challenging and the outcome is not certain.   For me it turned out that it was active investing. I can scale it up or down as I please (ie: spend 10 hours on it in a day, then spend no time on it for a day) - there's no employees and no customers, so no schedule I have to keep or person I need to keep happy.   It takes a while to find that, so you just have to give things a go. However, the difference between a hobby and this is that it's A) a challenge and B) you can actually lose. At least for me, that makes it so much more interesting compared to playing computer games, which I also enjoy very much but get bored of if I spend too much time on it. I'm not good at persuasion, and I'm not an expert at any of this, but here's what I've been thinking. Rather than telling him that he shouldn't rack up more debt, I'd ask him whether he's planning for his debt levels to increase, remain static, or decrease over the next five years. Try to make it feel like he's the one reaching the conclusion that he should be decreasing his debt load. If he says that he's fine with his debt levels remaining static or increasing, then I don't have any further advice. If he says he's trying to decrease his debt level, but it's actually increasing, then maybe he's in denial. I'm not sure how much living expenses are there but half of $12,600 in the US would be a decent monthly income.   I agree that debt on debt would just add to his problems, sort of like quicksand, the interest will just makes a person sink deeper and deeper.  It seems like it might take some more radical options here to pay off the debt. Like, could he move into a much smaller home or get a roommate? How expensive was that vehicle? Could he sell it and pay cash for a much cheaper used one and use the difference toward his debt? How much does he work? Could he get a second job for just a few hours to help make extra money? Is he willing to speak with a debt counselor? The title of your question basically asks: What can I do? And you state this regarding the meeting and “advice” they gave towards criticism of their method: While this they also indoctrinated that you should avoid talking to   people talking bad about it (or say it is scam) because you gain no   money from them and they just want to destroy your business. First, you really cannot do anything to “save” your friend if they have bought this nonsense. You are right, it’s a scam. But past stating as such to your friend, there is not much you can do past shielding yourself. The reality is this: Any scenario you are in where you cannot ask basic questions and get a reasonable response or are given—at least—the option to walk away unscathed or uninsulated is basically a cult-like mentality. Simple as that. If the first thing someone tells you is “Don’t listen to others, just listen to me…” then you need to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom or something and just leave. From my personal experience meeting people who are successful and have power, they always—and I mean always—ask questions and are critical of things they invest in… Whether that investment is time, money or just basic mental energy. Rich people are just like you and me! Except they have more money so they can take bigger risks. Critical thinking and the ability to walk away from something are key life skills. Now others have talked salesman psychology which is on point. But here is something else you brought up in your question: He also wants to use his position as respected member of multiple   local youth and other communities to get their members as referals or   in his words “…to give them the oppurtunity to also simply earn   money.” Okay, so you can set personal boundaries between you and this clown, but you cannot stop him. But if he plans on targeting people and organizations in your community, you can warn them about him and his behavior and this scam. Chances are other people will know right away it’s a scam, but honestly if you feel the need to help others, that’s the most reasonable thing you can do to help them. But whatever you do, don’t take any of this emotional crap personally. If anything, maybe you can learn some reverse salesman techniques to get this “friend” to disengage. Such as only meeting with them in public and if they say something really vile to you, repeating what they said back to them as a question… Maybe even louder so everyone can hear. Remember a harsh reality of life: Public shaming can work to change someone’s behavior but you never want to do something like that unless you have utterly no choice. That last bit of advice is pretty harsh, but the reality is at some point you need to do something to “smack” reality into the situation. Are you doing the right thing? Yes, paying back some of the expense of college is a great way to show your gratitude. Could your sister also pitch in a little to help pay the debt down? Will you get approved for a $30,000 unsecured loan? You don't mention your credit rating but that will have an effect obviously. You might consider visiting a credit union with your father and co-signing a loan since it is his debt that you are assuming. You might still want to write a loan for your dad to sign even if he isn't co-signed on a loan. This could protect you in case of his death if there are other assets to divide. If you are not approved for a loan, you could also simply join your dad in paying down the highest-rate cards first and have a loan agreement for him to pay back that money if/when it is possible. You've mentioned that you have no collateral. There aren't many options for loans with no collateral. Your dad's bank or a credit union might consider a debt consolidation loan with you as a co-signer. That's why I mentioned going to a credit union. Talking to a loan officer at a local financial institution will make it easier to get approved. If they see that you are taking responsible steps to pay off the debt, that reduces your credit risk. If you do get a debt consolidation loan, they will probably ask your dad to close some credit card accounts. This sounds like my dad in so many ways.    Rather than ask questions and listen to vagueness (or lies) from your dad, I suggest you ask to see financial, tax, and legal documentation.  Maybe speak to the accountant, lawyer, bank official - whomever - to see where checks were written, transfers, etc.  I'm really sorry you are in this situation, but there needs to be a major family meeting immediately.  Good Luck. "I'm not an accountant, and you should probably get the advice of one to be sure about what to do.  However, if the business is a sole-proprietorship, you'd complete a Schedule C for the business, and you'd end up with a loss at the end.  If the investment you made in the business is considered to be entirely or partially ""at risk"" per the IRS definition, you'd get to claim all or part of the loss as a reduction in your income.  If the business was an LLC, then you're beyond my already limited knowledge. There may be some other considerations based on whether this was really a business vs a hobby, and whether or not you're going to try to continue with the business, or whether you've shut it down.  I'm not sure about those parts, but they'd be worth exploring with an accountant." This is not the case with your brother only. There are many business which run on this premise. It goes till the time all the conditions are in control and get busted when things goes out of way.  You have mentioned the loan amount and not the monthly repayment amount. Even if you say, a new loan will not solve his problem, what are the way out ? Telling things nicely sometime does not work especially when facts are otherwise. Hence you need to make a compete case study which should also consider his capacity to pay. As of now it seems he has debts of around 20 months of his earning, which can be considered high, depending upon the terms of major loan such as car loan and personal loan. A case study is way out. You can explain him with such case study that he should not go for further loans. If he can't manage, best is he sells it off. Its easier to manage cash. Not sure what tax you are talking about. He should have already paid tax on fair market value of the 20 flats. If the intention of Mr X is to gift to son by way of death, then yes the tax will be less. Else whenever Mr X sells there will be tax.  how to manage these 20 apartments? Hire a broker. He may front run quite a few things like showing the place etc. There is a risk if he is given a free hand, he may not get good quality tenant. There are quite a few shark brokers [its unregulated] who may arm twist seeing the opportunity of an old man with 20 flats. See if you can do long term lease with companies looking for guest house etc, or certain companies who run guest house. They would like the scale, generally 3-5 years contracts are done. The rent is good and overall less hassle. The risk is most would ask to invest more in furnishing and contracts can be terminated in months notice. If the property is in large metro [Delhi/Bangalore/Chennai/etc] These places have good property management companies. Ensure that you have independent lawyer; there are certain aspects of law that may need to be studied. "My dad keeps complaining that I treat him like a kid but hey, when the shoe fits, right? That right there is some wisdom. I would question why you need a student account.  If I found myself in this situation; and, decided to participate.  I would open a savings account (no debit card) in both of your names.  This account would have little or no fees, have a branch convenient for both of you,  and no ability for him to overdraft.  When I wanted to, I could deposit money into his account, and he could withdraw. You might even open your own account at the same bank that he does not have access to.  Then it is a matter of transferring the money into his account which can be done by mobile phone.   The thing that I would say to you, beyond your question, is that you are choosing to participate and enabling this insanity.  By ""quickly"" sending him money you are not allowing him to find alternatives for his poor behavior.   If it was me, I would require that he have some sort of financial literacy education.  He needs help budgeting, planning, and managing a bank account.  I am a Dave Ramsey guy, so I would require him to attend FPU, that I would happily pay for ~$100.  Alternatives are more than fine, mostly there has to be  progress in his financial literacy and behavior.   If he asked for money in the future, I would ask to see his budget and explain what went wrong.  If there was no budget, there would be no money.  If there was some legitimacy to his need, I would help meet it.  One example would be the company he worked for did not meet payroll.  That is something mostly beyond his control and can really hurt when a person is just starting to take control of their life.  So yes, I would send a check in that case.   However, that choice is yours. For perspective, when my son was 18 he came to me for help with habitual bounced checks.  He wanted me to pay the fee and probably pay it every month that he went crazy.  I paid the fee once, and I provided the education he needed.  After that he learned and was quickly a self-sufficient adult.  I also made it very clear that I would only pay it once. My situation was normal, parents should teach their children.  Your situation is insanity.  There is no way you should be put in the situation you are in with your father.  He needs to grow up, and you will have to help him somewhat.  If nothing more you should cut him off financially." "A few ideas. I suggest it would wise to consider what lesson is learned as a result of any resolution of a financial issue. Is it a lesson of responsibility and of the importance of keeping one's word, or of getting away with whatever happens (poorly planned business) with no adverse consequences. ""No"" consequences (e.g. forgiven loan) is also a consequence, and it sends a message. Sounds like paying the loan from your savings automatically means it's deducted from inheritance, since the savings are part of that inheritance. This may seem like a square deal if we ignore inflation. Assuming Today the $54K is worth much more than, unless it is adjusted for inflation, the same $54K will be worth (i.e. will allow to buy) a few decades from now, when the inheritance materializes.  So this option means your son is foregoing a significantly smaller financial loss in the future in exchange for foregoing his debt completely today. This is like borrowing $54K from a bank now, and only having to forego the same amount decades in the future when it is in fact worth much less. What borrower would not be happy with such arrangement, and what lender would do it? Only one's own loving parents :) You are in charge of what life lessons your son will walk away with from this situation. Good luck!"