Getting over that financial unease? Budgeting advice
"Budgeting is a tool for planning, not for execution. It sounds like you don't have a problem BUDGETING (planning what to spend on what things) but rather with the execution of your plan. That is - living frugally. This is primarily an issue of self control and personal psychology - not an issue with the mechanics of budgeting and finance, which explains why the most popular personal finance ""gurus"" (Dave Ramsey, Suze Ormond) deal as much with your relationship to money and spending as they do with financial knowledge. There is no easy answer here, but you can learn to spend less. One helpful thought is to realize that whatever your current income is, someone in your community is currently making less than that and surviving. What would you do differently if your real, actual income was $100 or $200 less than it is currently. If your food budget is a concern, learn to cook cheaply. (Often, this is more healthy.) You mentioned schooling, so I assume you are on or near a college campus. Many colleges have all sorts of free-food opportunities. (I used to eat free vegetarian meals weekly at a Hare Krsna temple. Price of admission: listening to the monk read from the Bhagavad Gita.) Fast food is, of course, a complete no-no on low-budget living. It probably goes without saying, but just in case you haven't: cancel cable, get a cheap phone plan (Ting is excellent if available in your area), and otherwise see how you can squeeze a few dollars out of your bills. On the subject of frugality, I have found no book more enlightening than: Money Secrets of the Amish: Finding True Abundance in Simplicity, Sharing, and Saving" You sound like you are budgeting too much for food.  Try limiting yourself to $200 a month for food and take that out in cash.  When it's up, it's up.  It's a hard way to learn but if you can tackle that, then budgeting for other things gets easier.   In terms of your fear of doing a financial bellyflop, which is valid, it sounds like you may need to both sit down and learn a little more about personal finance.  Try mrmoneymustache.com or fivecentnickel, or any of the other frugal living blogs that are out there.  There are whole communities that can help you and give you tips to do more with less, and learn budgeting and finance and how to handle your money and your future.  And no worries, the fact you are concerned enough to look for direction now means you may be able to avoid your fear completely. Put your budget down on paper/spreadsheet/tool of choice (e.g Mint, YNAB, Excel).  Track every cent for a few months.  Seeing it written down makes The Financial Conversation easier.  One simple trick is to pay yourself first.  Take $100 and sock it away each month, or $25 per paycheck - send it to another account where you won't see it.  Then live off the rest. For food - make a meal plan.  Eggs are healthy and relatively cheap so you have breakfast covered.  Oatmeal is about $2 for a silos' worth.  Worst case you can live off of ramen noodles, peanut butter and tuna for a month while you catch up.  Cut everything as some of the others have answered - you will be amazed how much you will not miss. Dave Ramsey's baby steps are great for getting started (I disagree with DR on a great many things so that's not advocating you sign up for anything). Ynab's methodology is actually what got me out of my mess - they have free classes in their website - where budgeting is about planning and not simply tracking. Good luck.
"There is no magic formula to this, quite simply: earn, cut expenses, and pay.  It sounds like you can use a little bit of help in the earning area.  While it sounds like you are career focused (which is great) what else can you do to earn?   Can you start a low cost of entry side business?  Examples would include tutoring, consulting, or even baby sitting.  Can you work a part time job that is outside of your career field (waiter, gas station, etc...)? One thing that will help greatly is a written budget each and every month.  Have a plan on where to spend your money.   Then as you pay off a loan throw that money at the next one. No matter if you use the smallest loan first or highest interest rate first method if you do that your debt payments will ""snowball"", and you will gain momentum. I'd encourage you to keep good records and do projections.  Keeping good records will give you hope when you begin to feel discouraged (it happens to just about everyone).  Doing projections will give you goals to meet and then exceed.   The wife and I had a lot of success using the cash envelope system and found that we almost always had money left over at the end of the pay cycle.  For us that money went to pay off more debt.     Do you contribute to a 401K?  I'd cut that to at least the match, and if you want to get crazy cut it to zero.   The main thing to know is that you can do it. I'd encourage you to pay off all your loans not just the high interests ones." &gt;if you don’t have a lot of money, the presence of a sizable sum in the house or even in the bank means that you’ll be constantly tempted to dip into it.  The psychology behind statements like this are a source of amusement to me. They seem to presuppose that those who have less money are bad with it, kind of a chicken and egg issue that assumes one over the other.  It makes me think that authors, researchers and opiners have likely never felt the degree of financial insecurity that drives behaviors such as the ones being discussed.  If you don't have a lot of money, the possession of a sizable sum presents other problems, such as issues of needs and purchases that have been put off due to a lack of resources while you prioritized for survival. You put off buying the washing machine because your car needed repairs, how else were you going to be able to get to work? You can limp by using a laundromat or doing laundry at your parents' house. But you likely put off all sorts of other needs as well, and now you have to find the best way to allocate a sizable sum that likely isn't going to be enough to address all of the needs you have put off.  While you're trying to decide how to best allocate this resource, don't forget the talking heads that lecture you on the importance of an emergency fund. Disregard for a moment that when cash is such a scarce resource, any unexpectedly dire circumstance which would be best resolved by your having more of it probably constitutes an emergency. "I think it's great that you want to contribute. Course Instructor You may want to take a look at becoming an instructor for a course like Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. These are commonly offered through churches and other community venues for a fee. This may be a good fit if you want to focus on basic financial literacy, setting up and sticking to a budget, and getting their financial ""house"" in order. It may not be a good fit if you don't want to teach an existing curriculum, or if you find the tenets of the course too unpalatable. A significant number of the people in Dave's audience are close to or in the middle of a financial meltdown, and so his advice includes controversial ideas such as avoiding credit altogether, often because that's how they got into their current mess. Counselor If you want to run your own show, I know of several people who have built their own practice that is run along the lines of a counselor charging hourly rates, and they work with couples who are having money problems. Building a reputation and a network of referring counselors and professionals is key here, and definitely seems like it would require a full-time commitment. I would avoid ""credit counseling"" and the like. Most of these organizations are focused on restructuring credit card debt, not spending signficant time on behavioral change. You don't need a series 7, 63, 65 etc. or even a CFA. I've previously acquired a number of these and can confirm that they are investment credentials that are intended to help you get a job and/or get more business as a broker or conventional financial planner, i.e. salesperson of securities. The licensure process is necessary to protect consumers from advice that serves the investment sales force but is bad for the consumer, and because you must be licensed to provide investment advice. There is a class of fee-only financial planners, but they primarily deal with complex issues that allow them to make money, and often give away basic personal finance advice for free in the form of articles, podcasts, etc.  Charity For part-time or free work, in my area there are also several charity organizations that help people do their taxes and provide basic budgeting and personal finance instruction, but this is very localized and may vary quite a bit depending on where you live. However, if there are none near you, you can always start one! Journalism If you have an interest in writing, there are also people who work as journalists and write columns, books, or newsletters, and it is much easier now to publish and build a network online, either on your own, through a blog or contributing to a website. Speaker at Community events There are also many opportunities to speak to a specific community such as a church or social organization. For example, where I live there are local organizations for Spanish speaking, Polish speaking, elderly, young professional, young mother and retiree groups for example, all of who might be interested in your advice on issues that specifically address their needs. Good luck!" "Debt cripples you, it weighs you down and keeps you from living your life the way you want.  Debt prevents you from accomplishing your goals, limits your ability to ""Do"" what you want, ""Have"" what you want, and ""Be"" who you want to be, it constricts your opportunities, and constrains your charity. As you said,  Graduated in May from school.  Student loans are coming due here in January.  Bought a new car recently. The added monthly expenses have me concerned that I am budgeting my money correctly. Awesome! Congratulations.  You need to develop a plan to repay the student loans.  Buying a (new) car before you have planned you budget may have been premature. I currently am spending around 45-50% of my monthly (net)income to cover all   my expenses and living. The left over is pretty discretionary, but things   like eating dinner outside the house and expenses that are abnormal would   come out of this.  My question is what percentage is a safe amount to be   committing to expenses on a monthly basis? Great!  Plan 40-50% for essentials, and decide to spend under 20-30% for lifestyle.  Be frugal here and you could allocate 30-40% for financial priorities. Budget - create a budget divided into three broad categories, control your spending and your life. Goals - a Goal is a dream with a plan. Organize your goals into specific items with timelines, and steps to progress to your goals. You should have three classes of goals, what you want to ""Have"", what you want to ""Do"", and who you want to ""Be""; Ask yourself, what is important to you. Then establish a timeline to achieve each goal.  You should place specific goals or steps into three time blocks, Near (under 3-6 months), medium (under 12 months), and Long (under 24 months).  It is ok to have longer term plans, but establish steps to get to those goals, and place those steps under one of these three timeframes. Example, Good advice I have heard includes keeping housing costs under 25%, keeping vehicle costs under 10%, and paying off debt quickly.  Some advise 10-20% for financial priorities, but I prefer 30-40%.  If you put 10% toward retirement (for now), save 10-20%, and pay 10-20% toward debt, you should make good progress on your student loans." "I see you have posted other questions regarding household budgets.  This is a huge first step.  Once you see what is coming in, then list everything that goes out regularly...and then try to break down what is leftover into spending, household maintenance, gifts, haircuts, whatever...it becomes very obvious if you have x to spend and you spend 3x. I budget a certain amount of discretionary money for both my husband and myself to spend each month.  All of our basic expenses are covered under other categories, but I found out long ago that we each need some money to blow on Starbucks, DVD's, books, etc without having to defend or explain it.  If we spend too much, it digs into the next month's amount, or if we are careful, we get to carry it over. I can impulse shop guilt free because it's budgeted in. Long story short, if you set up a budget and have an amount budgeted for most reasonable expenses, and see what is left over...it becomes harder to ""unwittingly"" overspend.  When you are paying attention to your money, and start looking carefully at how you are spending it, you'll notice." "A budget that you both agree on is a great goal. X% to charity, y% to savings, $z a month to a reserve for house repairs, and so on. Your SO is likely to agree with this, especially if you say it like this: I know you're concerned that I might want to give too much to charity. Why don't we go through the numbers and work out a cap on what I can give away each year? Like, x% of our gross income or y% of our disposable income? Work out x and y in advance so you say real percentages in this ""meeting request"", but be prepared to actually end up at a different x and y later. Perhaps even suggest an x and y that are a little lower than you would really wish for. If your SO thinks you earn half what you really do, then mental math if you say 5% will lead to half what you want to donate, but don't worry about that at the moment. That could even work in your favour if you've already said you want to give $5000 (or $50,000) a year and mental math with the percentage leads your SO to $2500 (or $25,000), (s)he might think ""yes, if we have this meeting I can rein in that crazy generosity."" Make sure your budget is complete. You don't want your SO worrying that if the furnace wears out or the roof needs to be replaced, the money won't be there because you gave it away. Show how these contingencies, and your retirement, will all be taken care of. Show how much you are setting aside to spend on vacations, and so on. That will make it clear that there is room to give to those who are not as fortunate as you. If your SO's motivations are only worry that there won't be money when it's needed, you will not only get permission to donate, you'll get a happier SO. (For those who don't know how this can happen, I knew a woman just like this. The only income she believed they had was her husband's pension. He had several overseas companies and significant royalty income, but she never accounted for that when talking of what they could afford. Her mental image of their income was perhaps a quarter of what it really was, leading to more than one fight about whether they could take a trip, or give a gift, that she thought was too extravagant. For her own happiness I wish he had gone through the budget with her in detail.)" "As THEAO suggested, tracking spending is a great start.  But how about this -  Figure out the payment needed to get to zero debt in a reasonable time, 24 months, perhaps. If that's more than 15% of your income, maybe stretch a tiny bit to 30 months. If it's much less, send 15% to debt until it's paid, then flip the money to savings.  From what's left, first budget the ""needs,"" rent, utilities, etc. Whatever you spend on food, try to cut back 10%.  There is no budget for entertainment or clothes. The whole point is one must either live beneath their means, or increase their income. You've seen what can happen when the debt snowballs.  In reality, with no debt to service and the savings growing, you'll find a way to prioritize spending. Some months you'll have to choose, dinner out, or a show. I agree with Keith's food bill, $300-$400/mo for 3 of us. Months with a holiday and large guest list throws that off, of course." "There's no easy solution to this. Unfortunately I think you need a different approach, as you say, using software to track expenses to visualise the percentages and such hasn't helped and in my own experience this sort of money management does not work with all people. Maybe you need to look at the expenses and decide what you can cut out. Somehow we all need to make a distinction between what we need (milk, bread) and what we don't need (magazines, dvds) but still purchase every now and then. Sadly buying things for the second category quickly builds up a bill just as big as the one for the weekly shop only that it contains nothing of actual value and it just seems too easy for some to spend and equal amount of money on ""wants"" as on ""needs"" and if a substantial amount of your outgoings are in this category that's where you need to focus the discussion. If you can't find any purchases like that I suspect you need to buy less expensive food." Fuck managerial accounting to death. Anywho, I'm not sure what they mean by the variance being higher or lower in the budget. Variance in principle is the discrepancy from a budget and actual.   I'll try to answer this from what I can see.    The budget variance in this problem is unfavorable for Busy Community Support, mostly caused by a significant underestimating of your salaries expense in the budget. If you are happy, really honestly happy, there is no need to change because you read it somewhere. While I believe that budgeting in some fun is smart so you don't go crazy, I am really speaking for myself.  I personally have to work at not spending more than I make, so I need to blow off some steam. I also think that you will find in the future something you want to do that costs money, and you would be glad to have it now. The same rules apply for you as they apply to everybody "Use the budget to drive down spending so you can save (for retirement, for college, for expenses) and so you can pay off your mortgage early.  Some, (Dave Ramsey, for example) advocate for an ""Envelope system""...  If your budget says 100 a month for restaurants, then at the beginning of the month, you put 100 into that envelope.  Once you've spent that much on restaurants that month, you're done for the month.  On the other hand, if you don't spend the 100, then you have two choices:  either you can adjust the budget downward and put the money somewhere else (like your Mortgage) or you can build up cash in that account so you can afford a really expensive restaurant in a few months." "I can see why you are feeling financial stress.  If I understand right you have put yourself in a very uncomfortable and unsustainable situation and one that should indeed be very stressful for a person of your age.  I feel a lot of stress just reading over your question. I'm going to be very frank.  Your financial situation suggests that you have very aggressively taken wealth from your future self in order to consume and to make inefficient investments.  Well, look in the mirror and say to yourself ""I am now my future self and it is time to pay for my past decisions.""  Don't take money out of your IRA.  That would be continuing the behavior as it is a very inefficient use of your resources that will lead to yet more extreme poverty down the line. Ok, you can't take back what you have done in the past.  What to do now?  Major life restructuring.  If I were you, I'd sell my house if I had one.  Move in with one of your kids if you have any nearby.  If not, move into the cheapest trailer you can find.  Take a second job.  Very seriously look to see if you can get a job that pays more for your primary job--I know you love your current job but you simply cannot continue as you are now.  Start eating really cheap food and buying clothes at thrift stores.  Throw everything you can at your debts, starting with the ones with the highest interest rate.  Plan now to continue working long after your peers have retired. Early in life is the time to be borrowing.  Middle age is when you should be finishing paying off any remaining debts and tucking away like crazy for retirement.  Now is not an OK time to be taking on additional debt to fund consumption. I know changing your life is going to be very uncomfortable, but I think you will find that there is more peace of mind in having some amount of financial security (which for you will require a LOT of changes) than in borrowing ever more to fund a lifestyle you cannot sustain." "You know how when people called in on the Car Talk radio show (Click and Clack, I miss those guys), and while the caller asked a question about his car, really he needed marital advice? And the hosts would pounce on the part about the disagreement with family member and provide an unexpected answer (""Yeah, the trick to a using a clutch is [...], but really, if you want to learn to drive a stick shift, get your dad out of the car!"") So I'm pouncing on the part about the spouse. It sounds like you and your spouse don't always agree on saving and spending, and you want to find a way to agree on saving and spending. If you can find a coach or planner or counselor that you both like and both trust, then go for it. You're looking more for the right personality than a precise job description. Start with exploring what you do agree on: we agree we need to save money, we agree we need to have a spending plan and budget, etc. The right coach will help you get to more agreement -- the job title is less important." Communicate. I would recommend taking a course together on effective communications, and I would also suggest taking a course on budgeting and family financial planning. You need to be able to effectively communicate your financial plans and goals, your financial actions, and learn to both be honest and open with your partner.  You also need to be certain that you come to an agreement. The first step is to draft a budget that you both agree to follow.  The following is a rough outline that you could use to begin.  There are online budgeting tools, and a spreadsheet where you can track planned versus actuals may better inform your decisions. Depending upon your agreed priorities, you may adjust the following percentages, Essentials (<50% of net income) Financial (>20%) Lifestyle (<30%) - this is your discretionary income, where you spend on the things you want Certain expense categories are large and deserve special advice. Try to limit your housing costs to 25% of your income, unless you live in a high-cost/rent area (where you might budget as high as 35%). Limit your expenses for vehicles below 10% of income. And expensive vehicle might be budgeted (partly) from Lifestyle. Limiting your auto payment to 5% of your income may be a wise choice (when possible). Some families spend $200-300/month on cable TV, and $200-300/month on cellphones. These are Lifestyle decisions, and those on constrained budgets might examine the value from those expenses against the benefit. Dining out can be a budget buster, and those on constrained budgets might consider paying less for convenience, and preparing more meals at home. An average family might spend 8-10% of their income on food. Once you have a budget, you want to handle the following steps, Many of the steps are choices based upon your specific priorities. "Brokerages offer you the convenience of buying and selling financial products. They are usually not exchanges themselves, but they can be. Typically there is an exchange and the broker sends orders to that exchange. The main benefit that brokers offer is a simpler commission structure. Not all brokers have their own liquidity, but brokers can have their own allotment of shares of a stock, for example, that they will sell you when you make an order, so that you get what you want faster. Regarding accounts at the exchanges to track actual ownership and transfer of assets, it is not safe to assume thats how that works. There are a lot of shortcomings in how the actual exchange works, since the settlement time is 1 - 3 business days, depending on the product (so upwards of 5 to 6 actual days). In a fast market, the asset can change hands many many times making the accounting completely incorrect for extended time periods. Better to not worry about that part, but if you'd like to read more about how that is regulated look up ""Failure To Deliver"" regulations on short selling to get a better understanding of market microstructure. It is a very antiquated system."