
Abby Stein

Abby Stein (born October 1, 1991) is an American transgender author, activist, blogger, model, speaker, and rabbi. She is the first openly transgender woman raised in a Hasidic community, and is a direct descendant of Hasidic Judaism's founder, the Baal Shem Tov. In 2015, she founded the first support group nationwide for trans people of Orthodox Jewish background.
Stein is also the first woman, and the first openly transgender woman, to have been ordained by an Orthodox institution, having received her rabbinical degree in 2011, before coming out as transgender. Though Stein did not work as a rabbi after leaving Orthodox Judaism until at least 2016, by 2020, she had re-embraced her title as rabbi, and currently works in many capacities as a rabbi. In 2018, she co-founded Sacred Space, a multi-faith project "which celebrates women and non-binary people of all faith traditions".
Early life.
Stein was born in 1991 in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, in New York City, the 6th child in a family of 13, born to a family of notable Hasidic leaders; she has five elder sisters. Her father, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Stein, is the current Savraner Rebbe of Brooklyn. Her grandfather, Grand Rabbi Mordechai Stein, is the current Faltishaner Rabbe, and is a descendant of Reb Mordechai Twersky (1770–1837). Her family is of Polish, Ukrainian/Romanian, Serbian, and Israeli descent, with modern Ukraine being the predominant origin.
Stein grew up speaking Yiddish and Hebrew, and was educated at a traditional all-boys Jewish Day School. The community in which she grew up is highly segregated by gender, impacting almost all aspects of daily life. Stein attended the Viznitz yeshiva in Kiamesha Lake, Upstate New York, for her high school education, also receiving ordination as a rabbi there in 2011. In 2012, she left the Hasidic community (often referred to in Jewish communities as going "off the derech"), and in 2014, she started school at Columbia University's School of General Studies.
In her book, as well as in numerous interviews, Stein credits the New York City based non-profit Footsteps with helping her succeed after she left the Hasidic community, even calling their work "life saving." In a March 2021 interview with the New York Magazine, she credits Footsteps therapists with helping her both, when she left the Hasidic community, and later when she came out as transgender women, saying that speaking with a Footsteps social worker "was the first time I ever spoke to a professional where I felt listened to, as opposed to feeling like a problem that needed solving."
Coming out.
In November 2015, Stein made headlines when she came out on her blog as transgender, and started physical transition. She was featured in some major media outlets, including "The New York Times", the "New York Post", "New York Magazine", NBC, the Daily Dot, and more. She has also appeared on CNN, Fox News, HuffPost Live, and Vice Canada.
Stein also appeared on a number of international TV networks, and in numerous international newspapers and magazines in over 20 different languages.
When Stein left her community in 2012 and came out as an atheist, her parents said that no matter Stein's choices in life, she would remain their child; however, after coming out as trans, her father told her that, "You should know that this means I might not be able to talk to you ever again." Since then, her parents have shunned her, and stopped talking to her altogether. She has also received some hate from her former community, though in an interview with Chasing News (a Fox News Short film company), Stein said that she received less hate than some people would have expected. She described her life post-transition as "better than I could have ever imagined".
Stein was featured in the 2016 Showtime Documentary series, "Dark Net", in episode 8, "Revolt".
Naming Celebration/Bat Mitzvah.
On June 4, 2016, Stein celebrated her transition and announced her name change to Abby Chava Stein at Romemu, a Jewish Renewal synagogue in the Upper West Side neighborhood of New York City. In an interview with "The Huffington Post", she said that even though she did not believe in God, she wanted to celebrate in a synagogue:
Publications.
Stein's first book, "Becoming Eve: My Journey from Ultra Orthodox Rabbi to Transgender Woman", a memoir, was published by Seal Press (Hachette) on November 12, 2019. .
Stein was profiled in, and wrote the Foreword for, Peter Bussian's book of portraits, ""Trans New York: Photos and Stories of Transgender New Yorkers". In the foreword, she described her love for New York City – both while in the Hasidic community, and now living as a Queer person in New York. Published by Apollo Publishers, .
Essays.
Her writings have also been published in "Queer Disbelief: Why LGBTQ Equality is an Atheist Issue"", written by Camille Beredjick, edited by Hemant Mehta, and published by Friendly Atheist. Stein wrote an essay specifically for the book, titled, "Trans Woman (and Former Hasidic Jew): Atheists Should Support the LGBTQ Movement". .
Stein's essay about COVID-19 and its impact on the LGBTQ community, titled, "COVID has exploded Jewish LGBTQ acceptance online. There's no going back." (originally published on Forward.com,) was included in "When We Turned Within: Reflections on COVID-19", an anthology of 165 essays edited by Sarah Tuttle-Singer and Menachem Creditor. .
Stein's essay titled "Bring Them In," based on her remarks as part of the 24 hour "Call To Unite," hosted by Tim Shriver and Oprah Winfrey, was published in "The Call to Unite." .
Stein also contributed to Jewels of Elul: A Letter to Myself XII, a collection of essays published by singer / songwriter and music producer, Craig Taubman. Her essay, titled, "Dayeinu" ("Enough" in Hebrew), focused on the question of "What If?", and explored an answer to the question of "What If you would have been" born or raised in different circumstances.
Stein also contributed an essay to Kaye Blegvad's "The Pink Book: An Illustrated Celebration of the Color, from Bubblegum to Battleships", discussing her relationship with the color pink, the Hasidic community and the color, and her feelings about stereotypical femininity. .
Activism.
After coming out, Stein started an online support group to help trans people who come from Orthodox backgrounds. Stein also said that Facebook and online support communities have been her lifeline while leaving her community, which made her realize the positive power of online communities.
In December 2015, Stein founded a support group for trans people from Orthodox backgrounds. The group's first meeting had 12 people attending, most of them fellow Hasids struggling with their gender identity. Stein's avid blogging also gained her a big following in the Jewish community, and she has become a role model for former ultra-Orthodox Jews – both LGBTQ and not.
Since coming out, Stein has also done several modeling projects depicting her life and transition, which have been published by numerous sites. She told "Refinery29" that "I actually liked [shooting]. It did help me feel more comfortable", and that she does these projects to encourage others on their journey. In 2018, she also did several photo shoots and modeling projects with major fashion magazines such as Vogue and InStyle.
In addition to transgender activism, Stein has also been active in several projects to help those going Off the derech and leaving the ultra-Orthodox community. She has been working with Footsteps, and its Canadian sister organization, Forward, for which she traveled to Montreal in 2016 to help jump-start. In addition, she has also done some lay advocacy work with YAFFED, working towards a better education in the Hasidic schools, for which she has also engaged in political work.
In 2018, Stein co-founded her own feminist/womanist multi-faith and inclusive celebration of women and non-binary people of all faith traditions, called Sacred Space, with former Mormon feminist and founder of Ordain Women, human rights lawyer Kate Kelly, and Yale Divinity School professor and Baptist preacher Eboni Marshall-Turman.
During the 2020 Democratic Party presidential primaries, Stein served as a national Surrogate for the Bernie Sanders campaign.
Public speaking.
Stein's first public appearance was in a promotional video for Footsteps 10th anniversary gala in 2013, where she was interviewed about her experience leaving the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community. Around the same time, she also did interviews with "The Wall Street Journal" and "Haaretz" about her experience leaving the community and fighting for custody. She also started giving public speeches on these topics.
In addition to public speaking, she also teaches classes on Gender within Judaism, as well as bringing attention to trans people from Orthodox communities. As of November 2016, she has had speeches at several universities. She has also done longer speaking tours to several communities in Montreal, the San Francisco Bay Area, and the New York metropolitan area.
Starting in 2016, Stein has also become a rising star in demand for speaking engagements and conferences, such as the Limmud franchise, where, at the 2017 Limmud NY conference, she spoke more times than any other presenter. At the same time, she has also spoken internationally at conferences such as the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee's annual Junction Conference in Berlin, and the Miles Nadal JCC's Tikkun in Toronto.
A big part of Stein's events have been with Hillel International affiliates all over the world. According to a 2017 report by Hillel, "Stein has visited more than 100 campuses, sharing her story with thousands of students, in hopes of teaching them the importance of inclusivity, and that 'Judaism and queerness are not a contradiction'." Her events drew hundreds of students, where she talks about her life, Transgender in Judaism, Intersectionality, policy, and politics, as it relates to the LGBTQ community, and consulting on how to be more inclusive.
Stein is today a globally recognized author, activist, and speaker. As of July 2020, she has given over 400 speeches at venues worldwide.
Women's March leadership.
In early 2019, Stein joined the Women's March leadership, as a member of the 2019 Steering Committee. Despite some controversy surrounding the March and its leadership, Stein said that, "I'm convinced that working with Women's March people, we can gain so much more by working together, even when there might be some parts we feel uncomfortable with", and "expressed solidarity with other Jewish women who are supporting the march on grounds that it has emerged as an important and growing coalition of marginalized groups, including Jews, African Americans, Hispanics, and LGBT people".
During the rally following the march, Stein also spoke on stage alongside Reverend Jacqui Lewis, senior minister of Middle Collegiate Church, and Muslim activist Remaz Abdelgader, leading the spiritual invocation opening the rally. During her speech, which she started with the traditional greeting of "Shabbat Shalom", she related the march to the Exodus, leading the audience in chants denouncing different forms of prejudice and oppression, with a chant of "Let It Go!". She also called for unity, saying that, "A lot of people out there, a lot of people in the media are trying to divide us. What brings us together is not the fact that we are all the same. What brings us together is our differences."
In 2020, Stein was a featured speaker at the Women's March NYC, in Foley Square.
Honors and awards.
American Jewish Press Association Rockower Award, First place Award for Excellence in Personality Profiles. In the 2019 awards, Simi Horowitz's profile of Stein, "Abby Stein: A Gender Transition Through a Jewish Lens", in the Moment Magazine Received the first place award for Excellence in Personality Profiles. The AJPA commented by saying that, "This piece captures the humanity of Abby Stein, with an abundance of quietly telling details (like what she's eating during the interview). An impressive work."
Filmography.
In addition to a long list of interviews with major national and international news networks, Stein has also been featured in several TV segments in the United States, Canada, Israel, Bulgaria, and more – in English, French, Hebrew, Bulgarian, Russian, Spanish, and Yiddish.
Personal life.
In 2010, Stein married a woman, Fraidy Horowitz, with whom she also had her son, Duvid. The marriage was an arranged marriage by a matchmaker, and the couple only met for 15 minutes prior to the engagement. "Abby's sheltered upbringing culminated in her marriage at 18 to Fraidy, the daughter of another Hasidic Jewish family. It was formally arranged by a matchmaker, and was, in Abby's words, a 'done deal' before they had even met. 'It wasn't exactly forced, but it was completely arranged', she said. 'I met her once in advance, for 15 minutes.' The two did not see each other again until their wedding. As Stein left the community, she divorced her wife. In an interview with "The Wall Street Journal" right after her divorce, she said that, "They had a good relationship", and that at the time of the divorce, she was able to "obtain a 'normal agreement', including weekly visits, joint custody, split holidays, joint decision-making on major life events, and every second weekend with her son".
Stein is currently in a relationship with musician and Rabbinical Student, Dr. Brielle Rassler, PsyD.