How to Support Someone with Depression During Coronavirus
If you know someone who's struggling with depression, you might be especially worried about them during the coronavirus pandemic. The good news is that you can make a big difference just by being there for them during this stressful time. Check in with them frequently to see how they're doing, and encourage them to stay active and maintain a regular schedule. If they seem especially down about the pandemic, remind them that this situation and how they're feeling right now are both temporary. Listen to them attentively if they need to talk, since this can both help them feel better and give you clues about how they're feeling. If you're concerned that your loved one might suicidal, call emergency services, their therapist, or a suicide hotline immediately.
Educate yourself about depression. If someone in your life suffers from depression, then learning about the condition is a good start. This way, you can spot symptoms of depression and learn about the most effective ways to care for the person. Read high-quality medical sources to make sure you're getting accurate information. Some good sources are: The National Institute of Mental Health: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml Mayo Clinic: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20356007 Help Guide International: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-symptoms-and-warning-signs.htm The World Health Organization: https://www.who.int/health-topics/depression#tab=tab_1 Spot the signs of worsening depression. During stressful times like the coronavirus outbreak, it's natural that some people's depression might spike or get worse. If your friend or family member suffers from depression, then it's important to be aware of the symptoms so you can tell if the person's condition is getting worse. You can then take action to help them. The main emotional symptoms of depression are feelings of sadness, guilt, emptiness, or hopelessness. If the person is expressing these feelings more often, then their condition may be worsening. There are also observable signs of depression. The person may lose interest in hobbies and activities, stop taking care of themselves, sleep more or less than usual, and have a decreased appetite. Any other significant mood changes are also a sign. For instance, if a normally mild-mannered person gets irritable and snaps at you, this could mean their depression is acting up. Check in with the person every few days if you don’t live with them. Monitoring the person's condition is harder if you don't live with them and are practicing social distancing. Do your best to call or video chat with them every few days and ask how they're doing. While text messaging is okay, it's hard to get a feel for how a person is doing through texts. It's better to hear their voice. They'll also feel more connected by talking to you directly, so it's better all around. If possible, try to Facetime or use a video conference program occasionally. It's easier to tell how a person is doing if you can see them. Tell them directly if you’re concerned about their condition. If you notice signs that the person's depression is getting worse, then start a conversation with them. Start by saying something like “I've been concerned about you” or “You seem like you've been down lately.” Then invite them to open up about how they're feeling. Always keep your tone non-judgmental. A depressed person is probably very sensitive about upsetting people. The person might initially deny their feelings. Be gentle and try to press a bit more by saying something like “Well, I've noticed you're not sleeping much at night. It really seems like something is bothering you.” Listen attentively when they start opening up. It's more important for you to listen than talk when the person starts sharing their feelings. You can ask a few guiding questions like “How long have you been feeling like this?” or “Do you know what's making you feel worse?” But overall, be a good listener and let them vent. Resist the urge to offer advice unless they ask for it. Depression isn't the sort of thing that advice cures, and sometimes it could make them feel worse. Pay attention to the way the person is talking. If they hint that they might hurt themselves or don't want to live anymore, call emergency services or the Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) for help. Remind them that the current situation is temporary and will end. It's easy to feel like the outbreak, quarantining, and isolation will last forever, but it won't. Tell the person that things are hard now, but it's all temporary. When the outbreak passes, life will return to normal, and they only have to stay strong until that happens. You could point out that other places were hit by the virus and it passed eventually. They only need to stay isolated temporarily. Avoid putting a timeline on things, though, because there's no way you can tell how long it will be. If you tell the person that this will be over in a month and it isn't, then they'll get more upset. Just assure them that it's temporary. Give the person positive reinforcement. People with depression are often very critical of themselves and judge themselves harshly. Be ready to provide some positive feedback to help improve the person's mood. Remind them of what they're good at and the positive qualities they have. This can provide a much-needed boost. People with depression commonly say things like “I'm not good at anything.” You could say “That's not true. You're the best guitar player I know!” Unfortunately, some people with depression resist compliments. In this case, don't argue with them. Simply give them positive reinforcement and move on. Convince them to stay on a regular daily schedule. With everyone staying home, it's very easy to lose the schedule and structure you had in place. Depressed people usually don't respond well when they lose structure, so encourage the person to stick to as normal of a schedule as they can. Waking up at the same time every day, eating meals at regular times, working during normal business hours, and going to bed at the same time all help regain some structure and improve mental health. If they're not currently working, they can still maintain a schedule. For example, they could spend mornings reading, then clean before lunch, exercise for an hour after lunch, and talk to family in the evenings. If they're falling out of their routine, offer to help them draw up a daily schedule and encourage them to stick to it. Encourage them to try out new hobbies. Taking up new hobbies can reframe the isolation and turn it into an opportunity. There are all kinds of things they can do from home, like playing an instrument, writing, painting, woodworking, crocheting, and countless others. Even better, they can learn how to do these things online. Tell the person that trying new hobbies will keep them busy and probably make them feel much better. They could also rediscover old hobbies that they haven't done in a while. If they used to draw, for example, encourage them to take up the hobby again. You could take this as an opportunity too. Consider starting a new hobby with them to keep them motivated. Of course, it's difficult to concentrate on new hobbies if you're feeling stressed or depressed. Don't shame the person for not learning a new hobby, since this will make them feel much worse. Exercise with the person to keep them active. Being isolated can make it difficult to stay active, but exercise is a known way to improve mental health. Encourage the person to work out if they can, and offer to exercise with them if you can. Even a walk every few days can be a big boost to the person's mental health. If you don't live with the person, try doing a video chat with them and exercising that way. You could also send them workout videos to do at home. Set boundaries so caring for the person doesn’t overwhelm you. It's very important to continue taking care of yourself if you're helping someone with depression. You can't be expected to provide round-the-clock care, and you'll burn yourself out if you try. Be honest and tell the person what you're willing to do for them. On your own time, enjoy hobbies and distractions to support your own mental health. As a general rule, caring for the person shouldn't interfere with your own life. If it is, then you should consider communicating and setting some boundaries. You might be hesitant to tell a depressed person that they're crossing a line to avoid upsetting them, but this is counterproductive. You're not only sacrificing your own mental health, but the person might also notice that you're silently resenting them and feel worse. Encourage the person to speak with a professional therapist. Unfortunately, you can't cure a person's depression, even if you're the most supportive friend in the world. It often takes professional counseling and medication to overcome. If the person seems like they're getting worse and the depression is interfering with their life, then tell them that it's best to speak with a therapist. Offer to help them find one and make an appointment to encourage them. Be clear that you're not a trained therapist. While you can be supportive and helpful, you're not qualified to treat their condition. Some therapists have started doing virtual appointments during the COVID-19 outbreak. This makes scheduling and keeping appointments even more convenient. Make sure they’re following their treatment regimen for depression. The therapist will probably give the person a care regimen and medication to manage their depression. It's very important that the person sticks to their treatment schedule, or their depression will probably get worse. Check in and ask how their treatment is going, and remind them that they need to follow the care schedule. If they were being treated for depression before the COVID-19 outbreak, then they probably already had a regimen in place. Encourage them to continue following that regimen while they're isolated. Unfortunately, you can't force someone to follow their treatment regimen. You can only watch them and encourage them to do so. Contact mental health organizations if you need more guidance. Unless you're a trained therapist, then you're probably not an expert on depression. Fortunately, there are organizations dedicated to providing information and guidance to patients and caregivers. Look for some of these organizations if you need further help in caring for someone with depression. The National Alliance on Mental Illness provides information and advice for caregivers. Check their website at https://nami.org/Home. There may also be local support groups. Look online for groups in your area, and encourage the person with depression to take part as well. Religious organizations sometimes offer mental health counseling, but make sure the counselors have proper mental health credentials. Being a member of a church, for example, doesn't automatically qualify someone as a mental health professional. Call emergency services if the person is suicidal. It's an emergency situation if someone is expressing suicidal thoughts or is threatening suicide. If you believe the person will hurt themselves, then call emergency services right away. Do not leave them alone. Stay with them and monitor them until help arrives. It's only an emergency situation if the person is actively threatening suicide, but there are other signs of suicidal thoughts that you should watch out for. Saying goodbye, suddenly trying to get all their affairs in order, acting in self-destructive ways, or consistently talking about death are all warning signs. Talk to the person and say you're worried about them. Call their therapist if you have to. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline if you don't know what to do. The number is 1-800-273-8255 and it's available 24/7. For more details, you can visit the website at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. You could also text the Crisis Text Line 24/7 at 741741. If you're in another country, there are also international numbers that you can find at https://www.crisistextline.org/. 
Educate yourself about depression. Spot the signs of worsening depression. Check in with the person every few days if you don’t live with them. Tell them directly if you’re concerned about their condition. Listen attentively when they start opening up. Remind them that the current situation is temporary and will end. Give the person positive reinforcement. Convince them to stay on a regular daily schedule. Encourage them to try out new hobbies. Exercise with the person to keep them active. Set boundaries so caring for the person doesn’t overwhelm you. Encourage the person to speak with a professional therapist. Make sure they’re following their treatment regimen for depression. Contact mental health organizations if you need more guidance. Call emergency services if the person is suicidal. 