How to Shape Your Social Network for Happiness
To shape your social network for happiness, start by identifying the toxic, negative people surrounding you. Next, you can try to talk to them about your feelings and let them know you aren't okay with their negative influence. If the behavior continues, slowly pull back from the friendship by not returning their texts and calls and unfriending and unfollowing their social media profiles. Then, surround yourself with positive, compassionate friends who support you and lift you up on a daily basis.
Identify toxic people in your life. Toxic people place negativity and doubt in your mind. They make you question your goals and dreams, and your ability to achieve these goals and dreams. Toxic people also tend to take more than they give back in a relationship. Controlling people are also toxic. They try to control who you hang out with, where you hang out, and question your daily activities and decisions. People who complain incessantly can also be toxic. Remember that there is a difference between someone who shares their struggles and challenges, and someone who constantly complains. Toxic people often leave you feeling emotionally and physically drained. Remember that a toxic relationship doesn't mean the other person isn't a nice person or good in other ways, but the fact is that their presence is having a very negative effect on your wellbeing. Don't talk yourself out of distancing yourself from this person. Speak your mind. If the problem is something that can be fixed, have a conversation with the person. Let them know how you feel, but know that it is not your responsibility to fix or change them. Also know that you do not owe them a huge explanation — how much or how little you tell them is up to you. However, keep in mind that asking someone to change their behavior is a big move, so be prepared for resistance. In order to prepare for the conversation, write yourself a letter. By writing a letter you will be able to clarify your thoughts and articulate them to the person in a respectful manner. If you are unsure about a person's reaction to the conversation, then confront them in a public place. Tell them, “It is really draining for me, both mentally and physically, to be around complaining all the time. I think I am going to take a break from our conversations.” Create distance. If the person's behavior doesn't change or if they just don't understand what you mean by "break," then find ways to slowly pull back from them. Only answer their call or messages if it is absolutely necessary, or un-friend them on your social media accounts. Occupy your time with other friends and activities. For example, if you and the person in question go to the café every Saturday, go to the park instead. It is normal to feel guilty. But remember that detaching yourself from someone who is having a negative influence on your life is an ok and healthy decision. If the person changes, then you may want to rekindle a friendship in the future. That's up to you — it's okay to completely move on, too. Unfollow someone. It is easy to shape your social media accounts because you can unfollow and follow people with a click of a button. Because people devote more time browsing their social media accounts today, the people you follow can have an affect on your mood and life. Therefore, unfriend or unfollow accounts that post negative comments and pictures. For example, unfollow people who constantly complain, use negative language, and put others down. Instead, follow people who have a positive outlook on life, for example, people who are uplifting, inspiring, and encouraging. Believe in yourself. Make the choice to decide to commit to yourself, your goals, and your dreams. By committing to yourself, you will be able to believe in your worth. If you do not believe in yourself, then you will attract others who have the same problem. Make a list of your strengths, gifts, talents, and positive attributes. Post this list somewhere, like on your fridge, bathroom mirror, or bedside table, so you can remind yourself every day that you are worthy and capable of achieving your goals. Engage in positive self-talk. Switch negative thoughts like, “I can't,” or “I'm not worth it,” to “I am smart and I can do it,” and “I am worth it.” Forgive freely. Try not to hold grudges. Holding resentment toward others or yourself creates negative energy. Forgive those who have hurt or betrayed you, and forgive yourself for your mistakes and weaknesses. Instead, learn from these difficult experiences and allow yourself to grow. Let negative memories go, and replace them with positive ones. Remember that the more you forgive, the more positive energy you will create, which will attract positive and supportive people into your life. Letting go of toxic people doesn't mean you hate them or no longer value them. It just means that you have chosen to put some distance between yourself and them for now. Give positivity first. If you find yourself in a negative situation, try to stay positive. For example, if you find yourself in a room full of coworkers who are complaining about their jobs, take a deep breath. Then, try to switch the conversation to a more positive one by finding reasons why you like your job. This is a great way to attract more positive people into your life. Know the traits of positive people. Positive people have compassion and empathy towards others. They have the courage and ambition to follow their dreams and goals, and encourage others to do the same. Positive people value self-care; they have coping mechanisms when they feel stressed, sad, angry, and frustrated. Positive people leave you feeling uplifted, refreshed, and hopeful about yourself and your future. Notice how you feel after speaking with someone. Do you feel hopeful, happy, and lifted? Or do you feel down, discouraged, and negative? Pay attention to these feelings, and choose to spend time with those who leave you feeling good. Get outside of your comfort zone. Join a club, a workout group, or a volunteer group. You will be able to meet new people who have different views and outlooks on life. This way, you can expand or change your own views for the better. For example, if you like photography, join a photography club. Or, if you have always admired people who volunteer, join a volunteer organization of your choice. Find common ground. First define for yourself what traits a positive person has. Is it someone who always finds a way to smile, someone who sees the good and tries to help, or someone who knows how to cope with negative feelings and situations? By defining this for yourself, you will be able to tune into people who are like this. When you find people who you have common ground with, befriend them. Ask them out for a cup of coffee and get to know them better. Find inspiration from their life stories, and share yours, as well. 
Identify toxic people in your life. Speak your mind. Create distance. Unfollow someone. Believe in yourself. Forgive freely. Give positivity first. Know the traits of positive people. Get outside of your comfort zone. Find common ground. 