Sober Atonement
The next day after a night of binging and after eventually regaining the agonising sensation of sobriety: the first coherent sentence from their mouths, "I'm never drinking again"
... never once has that vow held it's integrity, consequently forming a vicious cycle of binge drinking and denial for the rest of their hypocritical lives.
Bob: Alright Earl? How's the hangover?

Earl: Aw horrible -- I'm never drinking again.

Bob: ... so I'll see you at the pub tonight? Carl's giving us a lock-in.

Earl: YEAH!

Bob: You really need to stop with the Sober Atonement mate, makes you seem like a pathetic wanker... what would Jesus say?