Twilight
A despicibal peice of shit written by a giant 13 year old tart with no originality, nor creativity. Search your family members/friends home carefully for such a book, if seen dispose of immediatly while wearing goggles, gloves, and a painters suit. If you come in contact with the item itself, developement towards becoming a 13 year old fan girl shall commence. If contact occurs head to your local government agency immediatly for assistance.
Twilight: Just say no. Fuck you works in addition. But why? Just pray your never in this situation:

Stupid tart: Mom! Can i buy some glitter!! I want to be just like edward when hes in the sun, showing the world his hawt marble body!<33334333three33!!!

Despicible parent: Darling, Edward doesn't buy glitter from the store, it come's naturally from the pussy vampire bloodline.

Passerby: Ma'am, can I recommend a surgeon to take a look at your daughters head?

Despicible parent: ..... OH MY GAAAAWD, ARE YOU EDWARD?!?!?!?!!1?!