saturated cloth
When you have the most horrific diarrhoea and you don't quite make it to the toilet. As opposed to "touching cloth" with a regular shit.
Gerard: how you feeling?
Andy: Bad, got the shits
Gerard: did you make it or were you touching cloth?
Andy: nah, more like Saturated cloth with this one. A bit like when a rhino goes for a dip in a lake.