Faffer
Derivative: Faffis/Faffelgaggler

A big, fat, rhinosaurus female chef who is mega-snarky and potentially a pretentious vegan.
"We thought she farted on our food at this famous Chicago restaurant, but then we heard her growling in the kitchen 'That's naught ah sowsaage! *burp* *fart* it's naught veegeen, and I'mma veeg! bahhhhhhhh! *burp* *fart*' We then became gravely terrified and returned our food and refused to pay our bill because a Melissa McCarty monster was cooking it. Don't cha know Melissa McCarthy's mating call goes like this 'Bahhhhh! Sowsaaage!' lol damn, she's such a faffer."