John Wayne toilet paper
John Wayne toilet paper – Military term used to describe the low grade toilet paper found in the MRE (Meal Ready to Eat) accessory packet.  Called so because it’s rough, tough and don’t take shit off of anybody.  Can also be used in place of extra fine grit sandpaper when refinishing furniture.
Can I score a roll from that big box of ass wipe that your mom sent last week?
Why?
All that I have is that damn John Wayne toilet paper.