Texas Longhorns
The best college in most sports. They have been to the College World Series more times than any other team. Hated by most because they are so fucking bomb. Second most wins of the decade (behind Boise State) and second most wins of all-time (Behind Michigan). Has been robbed of multiple Heisman Trophies (Vince Young and Colt McCoy) and National Championships (08-09 and 09-10). They wreck the shit out of everyone.
"Texas Longhorns defeats USC, the so-called greatest College Football team ever, in the National Championship!"

"Texas gets off to an amazing start against Alabama! Oh no, an Alabama player just speared Colt McCoy in his throwing shoulder, they will now bring in 18 year old Garrett Gilbert to play Quarterback."