tard
Look peepole, its not cool to name person tards.  My brother tard, my mother tard, and my father a semitard--i thought he normal 'till we founds him eating grass last weeks like a cow; now we know he the most tarded.  but my teacherz tell me i real smart.  they say im the smartest kid in the specialist class of them all.  yay!
Heretofore, my entire family considred my father relatively (that is relative to the rest of my family) smart; however, his recent dietary choices have led us to the unequivocal truth: he is a tard.  In fact, he is a tard of the highest order (a profound tard, defined as a person possessing an IQ under 20).  That is, while both my father and our cow Milky enjoy chewing on grass,  the latter, suprsingly enough, is the smarter of the two.  