Baldi
A firm, determined, erotic, ferocious, shake-weight-esque, professionally delivered, precisely executed hand job, full of motion in a climate controlled crib. All of your problems are released in five minutes when receiving a Baldi.
Clifford: Yo Dutchy just got a Baldi in the crib!
Felix: Dude I got one in the attic!
Frederick: I'm next in line!
Pablo: Who wants a Baldi?!?!