Count Chocula
Count Chocula is one of the many aliases for Peruvian hitman Alberto-Fonz. He is well known for his many identities and nicknames that include, Count Chocula, Little Mexican Kid, Berty Dozen, Nosferatu, Dracula, and McGruff the Crime Dog. He engages in many illegal activities that give infamy to his name, these include drug trafficking, contract killing, sucking blood from people, and sucking the fun, joy, and laughter from anything that is considered enjoyable. He also participates in many legal occupations such as cereal mascot, farting all over the fucking place, being a crime dog (due to his keen sense of smell), and hanging out with people that are way cooler than him (I.E. those of partial Belgian descent). Alberto is also known for his extreme strength and his ability to tell jokes that have absolutely no humor what soever. He is especially known for his membership in the "Virgin Squad" (for which he is expected to be a member of for the rest of his life). If seen with Alberto you may want to consider suicide because you have no friends at all. Best precaution to avoid Alberto is to not be Mexican, have no friends (he only hangs out with people he knows are cooler than him), and not going to school.
That Count Chocula goes hard... as shell.