Aquitard
The inability to function on a physical, mental and emotional level when exposed to water.

Originated from the hydrological definition of an underground aquifer no longer able to retrieve water.
Causations: Belly-flop, exhaustion, concussion, swimming into a yellow plume, discovering a brown smear on your chest, falling off the inflatable donut etc.
"So how did the kids go at the swimming finals?"
"Well Shayne did pretty good, but Dayna was a bit of an aquitard"