Nippulosis
The severe enlargment and engorgement of the nippular region. If allowed to persist, it could be fatal.
Definitely real Doctor: I'm sorry Mr. Arthur, the Stage 6 Nippulosis has spread to your bosomal regions. You have six months to live. I told you to stop rubbing and squeezing them so tenderly!
Arthur: Oh no! If only I hadn't been so addicted to the space betwixt my breast. If only...