Certified Financial Planner
Somebody with no money, who never learned how to mass or build money, and somehow thought it'd be a wise career decision to tell others what to do with their money.

since this joker never had money, he always talked about his life and what he would do if he had the riches. so instead of earning it himself, he throws on a cheap suit and a smile and sells financial advice to complete retards.

NOT to be confused with CPA or any other real professional.
"what happened to that guy who got fired 3 months ago?"
"he told me he's tending bar but i went there and he's just a bus boy, moved in with his girlfriend, she sold him her car so he could get around, he's supposed to be starting a job as a Certified Financial Planner at New York Life: