Bathterbate
To Batherbate is when you are soaking in a nice warm bath to ease the worries of the day and you look over and see a bottle of hair conditioner. In your head you have an internal struggle to have nice soft manageable hair or to use this(at times expensive)fluid to stimulate ones penis to orgasm. Inevitably because you are in the bath to feel relaxed you choose to use the conditions to jerk off and complete you relaxation session. But then comes the realization that you have blown off a bunch of knuckle children into the water and now in an attempt to avoid them you just out of the bath...and so ends the relaxation.
While Frank was feeling ill he decided to take a bath. But having not locked the bathroom door his wife entered the bathroom to discover Frank "Bathterbating". And from that day forward he would never bathterbate again.