Ifs
Idiot Freaks.  All of those people with no common sense who act as if they know what they are doing.  Who try to communicate with others, ie you and me , in an attempt to feel normal and part of the human race.  You may not know if you are an IF, but you have surely been affected by one or more in your lifetime.
Ifs try to turn left from the right hand lane without a signal and then flip off the person who they cut off.
Ifs push an empty stroller in Disneyland and there is no child in sight.
Ifs read this on a Friday night.