I'll be a dipped twat in a pig's pocket
Comparison to being like a precocious child who very blatantly does what it takes to get some shakes: literally, putting your hand in his/her pocket and fishing for it. Too young and/or stupid to be embarrassed.
Well, I'll be a dipped twat in a pig's pocket if that ain't the prettiest smile I've seen since my last round 'about this corner.