badly packed taco
Simile to describe the appearance of a female's genitalia, an unfortunate lady's horribly deformed fadge.
"Charles my dear boy, why on earth did you break up with that delightful Diana?"
"Well ma'ma, she was delightful in all respects other than down there, I am telling you it was like going down on a badly packed taco!"
"Indeed, one hears similar rumours of Princess Grace of Monaco, its a real growler I've heard, the staff at the palace commented it could rip your fucking arm off!" 

'The Queen and I', The unofficial biography of HRH Elizabeth II, by Andy McNab