ohio
A twisted vortex that sucks in all who dare make haste across this treacherous land.  Home to big hair, bad genes, and some sort of odd smell I can't put my finger on yet.  Residents have a penchant for combing their mullets and molesting collies.  Or is it the other way around?  No ... definitely molesting collies.
Fuck dude we're in Ohio!  Hey, check out that Collie!