Adam
An idiot who goes out with you for three years and you think you're in love with him. He is the worst boyfriend ever and totally ignores you and stands you up. When you finally realize what a dick he is and break up with him, he gets sad and begs for you back. Also, fat and ugly with dumb-ass friends who will try to get with you once you dump him.

CAUTION- DO NOT DATE THIS TERRIBLE CREATURE!!
Friend- How's your boyfriend, Adam?

You- A dick, as usual. I think I'm gonna dump him.

Friend- OMG! Finally!