Centralia
As a referral to Centralia, IL.

Once of great historical value, this town has suffered great losses. It has basically become a big, drug-dealing parking lot. No one really important has come from here, except James Brady (google with Ronald Reagan), Gary Gaetti, and some other guy from nearby. If it was that important, I'd remember his name.

The only things to look forward to is their crappy Fourth of July carnival, which brings out all the carnies and skanks from deep in the city. That and our Balloon Fest. I'll defend the Balloon Fest. That's tight.

The really ironic part is, there is a sign that says "Centralia: Your Oppurtuniy." Even though there is none whatsoever.

Often referred to as "The Guilla" by wanna-be homeboys, don't let anything fool you. Stay far away from this town.
Yo, man! Let's go down to The Guilla!

Don't you mean Centralia, the armpit of the world?

Naw, cuz! The Guilla!

*Gets bitch-slapped*