dolphin fucker
Any guy that has such restrictive expectations of women's bodies that he might as well be fucking a dolphin.
"Hey, Mitch, what do you look for in a girl?"
"Well, she has to have absolutely no hair on her body whatsoever, she has to be smiling and cheerful every single day, and I would really like it if she would perform tricks in the kitchen and bedroom for me whenever I asked, what else..."
"Augh, dude, sounds like you might as well be a dolphin fucker!"