Random Blob of Doom
The random blob of doom is well known in the small suburbs of Solihull, England. Random blobs of doom like to think that they are normal when, as their name suggests, they are in fact very random indeed :). Random blobs of doom are very rare to come across but I know of one that resides in a very messy room on the road behind mine. 

Random blobs of doom can come in many shapes and sizes. Some are yellow whereas others are pink. Some are fluffy whereas others are completely bald :). This is due to their very random nature. 

The random blobs of doom may appear to be harmless ordinary people, usually in the form of special year 11’s at Light Hall School. Their overall preference in clothing is not yet known but there have been many reported sightings of them sporting the ‘classic emo look’ with skinny jeans and tight band tees with the addition of colourful scarfs and lots of jewellery which they refer to as “bling”.

Although the random blobs of doom are capable of concealing their identity in order to coexist without being hunted down, they find it very hard to refrain from speaking in their native tongue…gibberish. Gibberish is a language developed by the random blobs of doom to communicate with one another about random shiz. Gibberish is easily mistaken for Chavish as they share many of the same “words”. 

When "hanging" around in small groups conspiring against common man. Random Blobs of Doom enjoy listening to a strange concoction of Drum and Bass, MCR, High School Musical and Paramore whereas other prefer Linkin Park, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, The Venga Boys and Fall Out Boy. They play their so called “music” through pathetically loud mobile phones. 

Random Blobs of Doom usually “hang” around playing their strange choice in music at Pigeon Park, (Birmingham, England) late on Saturday afternoons as they are too lazy to get up before 2pm. After several hours of lazing about in a cemetery (that’s what pigeons park really is ) they decide to “pull an all nighter”. These “all nighters” usually consist of the Random Blobs of Doom consuming very large amounts of alcohol and thinking that they are very “scene”. They never go anywhere near Shirley Park on a Friday night as they do not like the "chavs" that are actually quite normal :). on the rare occasion that they do go to Shirley Park, they hide in trees waiting to make their kill **RAWR** but like cows on stairs, sadly, once they are up the trees they can’t get back down again.F 

This is from a true account of one Mr Andrew James Whiteworth who one night was casually walking through a park with his on/off girlfriend when a strange figure pounced on him. The figure swore that she got stuck in the tree and needed something to land on and he fitted the criteria perfectly. The figure was later confirmed to be a Random Blob of Doom and was escorted to the local Mental Asylum after they had run for their lives to find some dark alley. Mr Whiteworth swears to this day that he didn’t try and make a very large move on his on/off girlfriend while down the dark alley. I still am not very happy at him for that! 

“This is the only known successful case of Tree Launch Glomping”
Dr I.A.M.S. Flynn~expert from BCU (Birmingham Confusionalist University)

NEVER EVER TRY AND FIND A RANDOM BLOB OF DOOM. It is very dangerous due to its emo-like temperament and the fact that if they bite you then they can control your mind for 3-256 days.  If you happen to run into, or accidently kick, a random blob of doom, may I suggest that you run like the wind out of that place and disappear into some dark alley somewhere (these are very abundant in the small suburbs of Solihull) and hide for your life.



The random blob of doom is well known in the small suburbs of Solihull, England. Random blobs of doom like to think that they are normal when, as their name suggests, they are in fact very random indeed :). Random blobs of doom are very rare to come across but I know of one that resides in a very messy room on the road behind mine. 

Random blobs of doom can come in many shapes and sizes. Some are yellow whereas others are pink. Some are fluffy whereas others are completely bald :). This is due to their very random nature. 

The random blobs of doom may appear to be harmless ordinary people, usually in the form of special year 11’s at Light Hall School. Their overall preference in clothing is not yet known but there have been many reported sightings of them sporting the ‘classic emo look’ with skinny jeans and tight band tees with the addition of colourful scarfs and lots of jewellery which they refer to as “bling”.

Although the random blobs of doom are capable of concealing their identity in order to coexist without being hunted down, they find it very hard to refrain from speaking in their native tongue…gibberish. Gibberish is a language developed by the random blobs of doom to communicate with one another about random shiz. Gibberish is easily mistaken for Chavish as they share many of the same “words”. 

When "hanging" around in small groups conspiring against common man. Random Blobs of Doom enjoy listening to a strange concoction of Drum and Bass, MCR, High School Musical and Paramore whereas other prefer Linkin Park, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, The Venga Boys and Fall Out Boy. They play their so called “music” through pathetically loud mobile phones. 

Random Blobs of Doom usually “hang” around playing their strange choice in music at Pigeon Park, (Birmingham, England) late on Saturday afternoons as they are too lazy to get up before 2pm. After several hours of lazing about in a cemetery (that’s what pigeons park really is ) they decide to “pull an all nighter”. These “all nighters” usually consist of the Random Blobs of Doom consuming very large amounts of alcohol and thinking that they are very “scene”. They never go anywhere near Shirley Park on a Friday night as they do not like the "chavs" that are actually quite normal :). on the rare occasion that they do go to Shirley Park, they hide in trees waiting to make their kill **RAWR** but like cows on stairs, sadly, once they are up the trees they can’t get back down again.F 

This is from a true account of one Andrew who one night was casually walking through a park with his on/off girlfriend when a strange figure pounced on him. The figure swore that she got stuck in the tree and needed something to land on and he fitted the criteria perfectly. The figure was later confirmed to be a Random Blob of Doom and was escorted to the local Mental Asylum after they had run for their lives to find some dark alley. Andrew (andy to his friends) swears to this day that he didn’t try and make a very large move on his on/off girlfriend while down the dark alley. I still am not very happy at him for that! 

“This is the only known successful case of Tree Launch Glomping”
Dr I.A.M.S. Flynn~expert from BCU (Birmingham Confusionalist University)

NEVER EVER TRY AND FIND A RANDOM BLOB OF DOOM. It is very dangerous due to its emo-like temperament and the fact that if they bite you then they can control your mind for 3-256 days.  If you happen to run into, or accidently kick, a random blob of doom, may I suggest that you run like the wind out of that place and disappear into some dark alley somewhere (these are very abundant in the small suburbs of Solihull) and hide for your life.

How do I know whether someone is a random blob of doom or not? - as the name suggests nobody really knows what the elusive random blobs of doom look they like as they are indeed masters of disguise. There is however one proven way of telling if someone is a random blob of doom or not. We call this method boffilintiation-ally-challenging. This method normally consists of overloading them with useless facts about useless subjects that only useless people like yourself would know about. This overload of useless random junk will provoke the random blob of doom to subconsciously switch to gibberish and in the process giving themselves away. This is them how you can recognize whether your childhood friend is in fact a Random Blob of Doom. 