Launceston
Also called Lanson by some of the locals, a small town of less than 10,000 people in east Cornwall, south-west UK. It has a crumbling castle with a single turret, an old arch that used to be part of the town walls called Southgate, several churches, like a hundred little shops in the town centre (NONE of which have anything good to sell), and far more barber shops than are needed. The only decent places to buy stuff are the Tesco and retail park, but many simply go to Plymouth for good shopping. However, the schools here aren't bad, but be ready for strict rules. Being positioned mostly on a hill, from some places you can get quite a good view of the surrounding area. Most of the tourists coming down to the rest of Cornwall just drive right past it on the A30, leaving the local economy to rot, and there are plenty of addicts and chavs, but at least it's not Bodmin.
"Come on down to Launceston town everyone!"

Person 1:"What's that town we just drove past?
Person 2:"Oh that's just Launceston"