Douchebag Theory
In the game of guy attracts girl, the only winning strategy for men any more is to simply be a complete tool, or douchebag. The sweet guy will always end up turning into the gay bestfriend with no hope of recovery.
Joe: You hear that Michelle started dating Chad?
Nerd: WTF I POORED MY HEART OUT TO HER JUST LAST NIGHT!
Joe: Well you know how douchebag theory is...