passive aggressive
a phrase that originally described indirect acts of aggression that either could not be traced to the actor or that could be ascribed to a benign, non-spiteful motivation. Once the phrase entered the popular lexicon, it has come to describe any action or inaction that the speaker dislikes but which the speaker cannot explain why the action is unjust or otherwise wrong.
The following are examples of passive aggressive behavior.
1. My lab mate did not like my not obeying his every wish, so he got back at me by sabotaging my experiments.

2. She was angry at me for declining her date invitation so, at the party, she bumped my glass spilling wine on my shirt and said that it was an accident.

The following is an example of how "passive aggressive" has come to be used in the popular lexicon.

Person 1: "OMG, he like totally refuses to put the toilet seat down after he uses it, and then he gives me dirty looks when I tell him he needs to do that."

Person 2: "Is it any more effort for you to put the toilet seat down than it is for him to put the toilet seat up to avoid peeing all over it?"

Person 1: "He's just so passive aggressive."