Toombs/T-rod
The biggest hardass in the universe as we know it.
"That Brian Earl Spilner is a hardass," the Captain proclaimed.  "Yeah, but did Brian Earl Spilner lick broken glass up off T-ram's floor, and eat an entire wheel of cheese after dominating the gallon challenge?" Chuck replied.  "Well, no."  Captain said.  "Plus he can turn a 4/4/4 double play, get 98's on diff eq. exams when Sean gets 75's, AND get hired in the blocker labs!" Chuck added.  The Captain concluded, "You're so right, Toombs really is a total hardass."