St. Cletus
The home of the Cardinals. Noteworthy graduates include but are not limited to: Ted Bruce, Tom Brady, Michael Jordan, Ghandi, Buddha, and Jesus Christ. St. Cletus annually takes a shit on lesser Catholic schools in the area such as St. Isaac Jokes, St. John's, and St. Francis. Although they have less students than these other schools they still kick their asses in football except those St. John's pussies who are too afraid to even have a football team.
St. John's kid: Why am i such a little bitch?

Other St. John's kid: Probably because St. Cletus would never admit a loser like me