thrust-o-meter
A device designed to measure maximum potential physical satisfaction for prospective sexual encounters--the approximation determined by combining pelvic thrust energy, frequency, member length, circumference and rigidity in the context of participant age and relationship duration.
*yikes!*
I'm so sorry baby, I don't care WHAT the thrust-o-meter says! just can't take somethin' THAT big...not today, not tomorrow. Ain't no way!!!