Jackson
Jackson, the king simp, the simp of simps and not just towards girls, he also specialises in men, attack helicopters and trans so don't worry. No one is left out, and no one is safe.
Jackson: "Hey Bro I ain't from Alabama but you lookin sexy af, and you know what I say... I like my children like I like my subs, 6 and 12."
The random guy he just hit on: "Wtf"