auditor
Whiny individual that is upset with themselves for the career path they've choosen. Often breaks down in tears because the whole world is against them. Rarely do they have a spine. Can generally be placated with a lousy salary and a gift certificate for $10 at Starbucks.
I went to school for a total of 20 years to become an auditor. My parents are so proud of me, but I think I'm developing an ulcer and anticipate having a heart attack so I can take a vacation