Screeve
Another word for an clumsy, inept or unfortunate individual. Can also be used to describe an imbecile or pilik.
Dave: "Mate, I nearly had her. Most other girls like getting licked on the earlobe"
Trevor: "No they don't Dave, you absolute screeve"

Or

Neil: "She was a solid 7 on tinder. I met her and it turned out to be a man FML"
Eric: "lol! You got fully catfished you screeve c%&t lol"