im whats interesting you know you ask some questions that i listened to earlier ones about emotion and its an interesting one because i mean all those questions are great things to reflect on because emotion you know when you talk about love and ive really noticed when you ask that question because love is an emotion um its tricky because its so deeply ingrained of what it is that it clearly not that i can but its a totality of what is showing up and so theres just you know i think one of the words i heard is love is just what is and i didnt understand it and now thats all there is theres just the love of what is and since i dont know what this is or this is theres a love for that too and i think you know maybe im talking to one of the biggest ones was knowing about emotion and how its not here and they extend it whether its here or not and only knows when it shows up as i said i separated from my wife and thats not been easy but its now pretty solid here but still she resents very deeply what happened and you know theres no forgiveness there so when it was interactions she usually ends up with some type of unpleasantness toward me and there was the last time its just i just felt this exuding sense of love and compassion for what was being expressed and it had nothing to do with ear and it was just no feeling of emotion arising it was just an openness of saying yes that too and you know that just kind of blew me away i hadnt felt that before