Dulcolax
"Ever had salmonella? Want to experience the symptoms on your own? Try this stuff! Seriously though, I took it around 9 pm and woke up around 3 am with severe abdominal cramping. I became extremely nauseous but decided to try and sleep it off. At 6 am I awoke and ran to the bathroom where my bowels made sounds that can only be described as something from the depths of hell. I had extreme diarrhea which lasted for fifteen minutes and the abdominal cramps continued throughout. The extreme emptying of my bowels due to diarrhea has continued, along with the cramping. I've only ever experienced this pain and diarrhea once before, when I had salmonella. I'm giving this a 5 on the rating scale because technically it does the job."