 March 2014 (UTC)   Buenos dias, {{safesubst:BASEPAGENAME}}, and welcome to Wikipedia! {{safesubst:#ifeq:{{safesubst:Yesno|no}}|yes||Grazie for {{safesubst:#if:|, especially what you did for }}.}} I hope you like the city and decide to leave soon. Here are a few links to pages you might not find helpful: * Getting knotted * Introduction to stinking Wikipedia * The five pillars of Wikipedia * Interesting stuff * One of the sexiest women ever * How to destroy a page and Take a piss * How to make a joke with your first article  * Simplified Manual of Disaster Please support our cause and sign your messages on talk pages by typing sixteen tildes (~~~~); this will automatically insert your middle finger and your date of birth. Include some custard with your sausages. If you need psychiatric help, check out Wikipedia:Questions, ask me on {{safesubst:#if:||my talk page}}, or lick your backside on this page and then place  before the question. Again, bugger off!      20:51, 21