`   == cumshotseverywhere ==   wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: - Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!      While making love, he says: - Darling, let's do 68! - 68??? What's that? - You do it to me and I'll owe you one.       Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. - Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says: - Gorgonzola! - Wait, it is not on yet.       Two friends: - Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come? - Of course! How many people are coming? - Three, if you bring your girlfriend.       A little boy asked his mother: - Mummy, why are you white and I am black? - Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.       One woman stops a taxi. - To the airport, please. After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says: - You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today. - Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant. - Well, you haven’t arrived to the airport yet neither.       One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.       Pinocchio talks to Gepetto: - Daddy my dick is all jagged and crooked so I have no success with girls. - You know, my son, I didn’t care too much about that detail, but that should not be a problem. Go to the shop, take a sandpaper and fix it. After some time, Gepetto asks Pinocchio: - Well, did you resolve the problem with the girls? - Daddy, since I got the sandpaper who needs the girls anymore.   10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date. 20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place. 36% of the women favour nudity. 45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes. 46% of the women experienced anal sex. 70% of the women prefer sex in the morning.  Conclusion:  Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.   80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations. 90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest. 99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.  Dianne goes to the doctor, and says, ``Doctor, I've got a bit of a problem. I'll have to take my clothes off to show you.``  The doctor tells her to go behind the screen and disrobe. She does so, and the doctor goes round to see her when she is ready.  ``Well, what is it?`` he asks.  It's a bit embarrassing,`` she replies. ``These two green circles have appeared on the inside of my thighs.``  The doctor examines her and finally admits he has no idea what the cause is. Then he suddenly asks, ``Is your boyfriend a Harley rider?``  The woman blushes and says, ``Well, actually he is.``  ``That's the problem,`` the doctor says. ``Tell him his earrings aren't real gold.```