Ingxoxo ephakathi kwamadoda: Yiba yindo da, mfana wami

Ngesikhathi umdlwenguli owayehlome ngesikhali etshela lo mfanyana ukuthi akalale phansi futhi angabuki, usakuzwa na manje ukukhala kukadadewabo.
Ngemva kokudlwengula, le ndoda yatshela uTshepo noda dewabo ukuthi bagijime futhi bangabheki emuva. Ngesikhathi bethatha uhambo olubuhlungu lokulibangisa ekhaya, udadewa bo wamenza wathembisa ukuthi ngeke atshele muntu mayelana nokudlwengulwa. UTshepo wenza njengalokho ethembisile kodwa le mfihlo yamenza waba muncu.
“Ngesikhathi ngikhula,  ngangimbona umdlwenguli eKatlehong futhi ngaya ngokuba nolaka. Ngangingakwazi ukwe mukela ukuthi wayengazange ajeziselwe into ayenzile.”Ngesikhathi esekhulakhulile, futhi eyibhungu elinamandla, uTshepo wayengasakwazi uku gcina ngaphakathi ulaka lwakhe, futhi wayeshaya owahla sela udadewabo la embona khona. Wayeka ukuba yingane enokuthula waphenduka umuntu omusha onolaka.
Zimbili izinto ezasindisa  uTshepo kule ndlela yobudlova.
Okokuqala nje, wayebusiswe ngobaba kanye nomfowabo omdala ababazi ukuthi udlame lwalungeyona impendulo noma-ke babengazi ukuthi kungani uTshepo eziphatha ngale ndlela, bakwazi ukumholela endleleni yokuziphatha efanele.
Okwesibili kwaba ukungenelela kwamaphoyisa aqapha kuja ntshi wesitimela abona  ngesikhathi uTshepo ehlasela owadlwengula udadewabo.
Umdlwenguli wasala ephuke umlenze kodwa ngesikhathi uTshepo echazela ama phoyisa aqapha kujantshi wesitimela ukuthi le ndoda yayenzeni eminyakeni emini ngi edlule, akhetha ukumdedela kodwa amyala. Umdlwenguli wayiswa esibhedlela futhi aka zange alivule icala.
Ukuhlaselwa kwabantu be sifazane kuyaqhubeka nokuba yinto ejwayelekile, noma ku njalo, futhi-ke uTshepo wayeya ngokukhathazeka ngalokhu.
Ngesikhathi eyisitshudeni sasePretoria Technikon, wasiza ukusungula ithimba eliqwashi sa amadoda mayelana nendi ma yawo emphakathini fu thi ngowezi-2004, wabhalisa i-South African Men's Action Group (SAMAG) njengenhla ngano engekho ngaphansi kuka hulumeni.
Namhlanje, i-SAMAG isina basebenzi abasebenza ngoku gcwele abayi-10 futhi inamhho visi eGauteng, eFreyistata, eNyakatho Ntshonalanga, eLimpopo kanye naseMpumala nga. Izinikele ekugqugquzeleni izi-nguquko.
Umyalezo wabo oyinhloko uthi ‘Real men don’t abuse women’  (Amadoda angempela awabahlu kumezi abantu besifazane)’.
“U-Real umele la magama esi Ngisi: uResponsible, Enlightened , Archetypal  (ukuba yisibone lo) kanye noLoving ,” kusho  uTshepo.
“Iningi lamadoda lifunzelelwe ukuba yizinhloko kwabesilisa.
Babeshaywa besebancane futhi ababoni ukuthi kungani kunga mele bakhulise izingane zabo ngendlela efanayo. Emasikweni amaningi, kuphethe amadodafuthi abantu besifazane babo nwa njengabasezingeni elifa nayo nezingane futhi kuyinto ethathwa njengeyemukelekile ukubajezisa ngendlela efanayo,” kusho uTshepo.
Wonke umuntu unendima okumele ayidlale ngokupha thelene nokuguqula indlela abantu abacabanga ngayo, kusho  uTshepo.
Ukholelwa ekutheni abantwana kumele bakhuliswe ngapha ndle kokubunjwa ngokobulili.
Abantwana kumele bakhuliswe njengezingane, hhayi abafana kanye namantombazane; obaba kumele bazibandakanye ezimpi lweni zezingane.