New York is dangerous littered with thieves we've no morals here we just do as we please but I don't wanna go home where they all stare at me 'cause I'm tattooed and fired up and drunk and obscene. You wear your religion like a war sweater, you ask for the truth but you know you could do so much better and you sat on your fences and you screamed, "no retreat" so what will your legacy be?
AT CLOTHES OVER BROS
Julian : I love your daughter. I'm in love with her. Would you ask her to call me, please?
I look closely to which speaks from pride. I love you I swear it I would never lie but I fear for our lives and I fear your closed eyes. 'cause you wear your religion like a war sweater
AT CLOTHES OVER BROS
Brooke : Well, you're here late.
Victoria : Yeah. The competition never sleeps.
Brooke : Any messages?
Victoria : Uh, no. Nothing that matters.
And you screamed, "no retreat" so what will your legacy be? And what will your legacy be?
AT LUCAS'S HOUSE
Sawyer: Ouain !
Lucas : Shh, shh. It's okay. Daddy's here.
AT THE HOSPITAL
Lucas : You know. If you keep letting these root-beer floats go to waste, I'm gonna have to start drinking them. I'm kidding. They'll be here when you wake up. You know who else will be here when you wake up is, uh... god, our beautiful daughter. She's, uh... You should see her. She's amazing, Peyton. But she needs you. And so do I. Come on. You promised. You promised.
OUTSIDE THE HOSPITAL
Julian : You need to go home, Brooke. You've been awake for the better part of the last four days, and it's not healthy.
Brooke : I need to be here when she wakes up. What is that?
Julian : Every fashion magazine I could find.
Brooke : But you just said
Julian : Yeah, but I knew when I said you needed to go home that you'd say you needed to be here when Peyton woke up, because you're stubborn, Brooke Davis.
Brooke : You don't know me.
Julian : I think I do.
Brooke : She needs to wake up.
AT RED BEDROOM RECORDS
Mia : Yeah, I know. Everything's fine. Just, you know, call if you hear anything, okay? Thanks, Haley.
Chase : No word?
Mia : No ... word. Lucas must be so freaked out.
Chase : Peyton's a badass. She'll be okay. What you got there?
Mia : My new record.
Chase : Let me see that. My girl's such a rock star. You did good, Mia Catalano.
Mia : We did good ... me and Haley and Peyton. Peyton really should be here for this ... Red bedroom records. Can I help you? Um, Peyton's not here right now, but ... she'll be back soon.
AT THE HOSPITAL
Lucas : You know, I, uh ... I'm in a little... I'm in a little over my head here. I took her home, and, uh ... I'm doing what I can, but... but she needs her mom. I need her mom. She doesn't even have a name. We were supposed to do that together. I can't do this without you. And I'm just ... afraid ... that we're gonna lose you, and it's just gonna be the two of us. And she doesn't even have a name.
Peyton : Sawyer. Her name's Sawyer, okay?
Lucas : Okay. Sawyer Scott. God, you scared me. Oh, my god.
Brooke : Peyton.
Peyton : You said you would disown me if I left without permission.
Brooke : Yeah. I'm about to be your second-best girl when you meet your new one.
Peyton : Is she okay?
Lucas : She's beautiful.
Peyton : Can I see her?
Brooke : She's right outside. Hang on.
Lucas : I should get the doctor.
Peyton : No. I just want it to be you and me and our daughter for a minute.
Lucas : Okay.
Karen : Well,well.
Lucas : Mom.
Karen : My baby's had a baby. And she's beautiful.
Peyton : Hi, Sawyer. Do you remember me? I missed you. I'm gonna love you forever. She's perfect.
AT SCOTT'S HOUSE
Jamie : Hey, dad, when you get back to Charleston, tell Nino he needs to stop shooting so much, okay?
Nathan : Nino's not there, buddy.
Jamie : How come? Did they fire him?
Nathan : He's playing for the clippers now. They called him up.
Jamie : When are they gonna call you up, dad?
Nathan : I don't know, Jamie. Maybe never.
Jamie : It's okay. At least you're still a chief.
Nathan : Yeah. All right. All set.
Jamie : I'll take it.
Nathan : Thanks, buddy
AT BROOKE'S HOUSE
Julian : What's that?
Brooke : Sam's new home.
Julian : I miss that girl.
Brooke : Yeah. So I guess you have to be getting back to L.A.
Julian : Yeah. I mean ... I mean, we're prepping the new movie.
Brooke : Yeah, I haven't even asked what it's about.
Julian : You know, boy meets girl, boy loses girl. Anyway, it was great getting to spend time with you, Brooke, even considering the circumstances.
Brooke : Yeah, you too. Thank you ... for staying with me.
Julian : Yeah, well, I wanted to make sure Peyton was gonna be okay.
Brooke : Of course. Well ...
Lay your ray down you're the one. I could run, I could run for the life of me but where would that get me? Where would that lead? I'm a fool for waiting so long 'cause you come around, come around come around, come around to me there's something in between you and I
Julian : I love you, Brooke Davis. I love you so much.
Brooke : Don't say it. Just kiss me. You feel like breathing come around, come around, come around, come around to me. Can't you see you're my life?
AT LUCAS'S HOUSE
Karen : Do you want me to take her so you can get some rest?
Peyton : Mm, no. I want to hold her forever. Hey, Karen, thank you... for the way you raised Lucas and the man that you taught him how to be.
Karen : You're welcome. But I was just being a mom. You'll see.
Come around, come around, come around, come around to me come around to me
AT MOUTH'S OFFICE
Mouth : Hey, what are you doing down here?
Millicent : I don't want to go back to New York.
Mouth : And I don't want you to go back to New York.
Millicent : But I have to.
Mouth : I know.
Millicent : I'm just gonna have to talk to Brooke.
Mouth : And say what?
Millicent : "I don't want to go back to New York. "
Mouth : Straight and to the point. I like it. Come on.
OUTSIDE LUCAS'S HOUSE
Karen : I remember sitting on these steps, talking to you about joining the ravens.
Lucas : That seems so long ago.
Karen : It feels like yesterday, actually. Lily wrote you a letter.
Lucas : She's writing already? What, was she born, like, four days ago?
Karen : No, that was your daughter, dad.
Lucas : Yeah, whatever, grandma Karen.
Karen : Look, I know you can't stay, but before you go, I just really ... I really wanted to say thank you.
Karen : Lucas...
Lucas : No, no, no, no, no, no. You helped me through all of it. And you were selfless and strong. And ... if I'm half the parent that you were, then Sawyer is gonna be just fine.
Karen : She's gonna be more than fine.
Lucas : Remember how you always told me to see the magic in the world? I still do.
AT THE GYMNASIUM
Man : Nate? Bobby wants to see you.
Nathan : What happened to all my stuff?
Man : Bobby wants to see you.
AT SCOTT'S HOUSE
Haley : What are you doing home?
Nathan : Do you remember that green dress you wore to the Maths-ketball school for Jamie?
Haley : The Oppenheimer school. Yeah.
Nathan : You look amazing in that dress. I was thinking we could take a trip to charlotte. You could wear that dress. We could take Jamie.
Haley : Nathan, what happened?
Nathan : I'm not on the Chiefs anymore.
Haley : I'm sorry, baby.
Nathan : It's okay. What do you say, Haley James? Want to take the boy to Charlotte? Maybe we could see a basketball game? I mean, I kind of have to be there anyway, considering ... I'm the Bobcats' new point guard.
Haley : What?
Nathan : I'm the point guard for the Charlotte Bobcats. I got called up.
Haley : You're in the NBA?
Nathan : I'm in the NBA. Thank you. Thank you for believing in me, Haley.
Haley : Thank you for being worth it!
AT WITHEY'S HOUSE
Dan : Please. I assume that's loaded.
Withey : I bought this gun hoping to see your face again. I'll just say you broke in, came at me.
Dan : You'd be doing me a favor.
Withey : You look like a haunted man. I heard you have a heart problem. It's not surprising. You've always had a heart problem.
Dan : I wish I'd gone back in that game ... the state championship. When I look back at my life and see where it all went wrong, that's where I always end up ... fourth quarter, time running down, sitting on the bench at the state championship, and refusing to play. At night, in my dreams, I do go back in. And in my dreams, I take it back. All of it. And then I wake up. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for that day and every day since. I'm sorry for what I did to Keith ... and to the people who love him.
Withey : Did you ever love him?
Dan : Not enough.
AT BROOKE'S HOUSE
Brooke : Hi, Sam. It's me. No, everything's fine. I was just thinking about you, and ... and I was wondering ... How's your life? Are you happy?
AT MOUTH OFFICE / SCOTT'S HOUSE
Jerry : New lead coming out of commercial.
Mouth : Is this for real?
Jerry : Yeah.
Mouth : Woooo : Sorry.
Nathan : Jamie, sports is up next.
Jamie : What's the big deal? I got wifi on my phone.
Haley : Get over here and watch with us.
Mouth : Last night in the NBA, the Charlotte Bobcats quietly made a move that most sports fans wouldn't have noticed, adding a point guard to their roster for the rest of the season. But we're leading with that story because this point guard is a local legend who overcame adversity and difficult circumstances in pursuit of a dream. Last night, the Charlotte Bobcats called up a former Tree Hill Raven, a great guy, and a good friend, Nathan Scott. Jamie Scott, hug your dad for all of us because he just made it to the NBA, and we couldn't be more proud. In other news around the league, the Los Angeles clippers are ...
Haley : Jamie.
Jamie : I knew you could do it!
Nathan : You're gonna kill me before I even play in a game, buddy!
AT WITHEY'S HOUSE
Dan : I was supposed to be dead months ago. I used to wonder why I was still alive. And then I realized ... I'm not. I'm dead. And this is my hell. Lucas got married and had a baby girl. And Nathan ... he's got Jamie. And I get to see the happiest moments of their lives, but ... I don't get to feel those moments. I don't get to be a part of their lives.
Withey : You created that, Danny.
Dan : Pull the trigger. Take the pain away! Please. Please.
Withey : Maybe you're still here for redemption.
OUTSIDE WITHEY'S HOUSE
Withey : There's still time, son.
Nathan : I just came to tell my coach I made it to the NBA. How you doing, coach?
Withey : Good to see you. It's a great surprise. I see you're keeping in shape.
AT BEDROOM RECORDS
Chase : This track is awesome!
Mia : Thanks.
Chase : And the record officially drops tomorrow?
Mia : Tomorrow night. Sinning in New York City.
Chase : And then ... you tour.
Mia : For a couple months, yeah.
Chase : Listen, I ... I know you're gonna go on tour and this record's gonna blow up, and just know that art of me wants to be really selfish with you. But I'm not gonna be that way because ... well ... because the rest of the world deserves to see your greatness, too.
Mia : My heart's ... not going anywhere.
Chase : Promise?
Mia : Promise.
AT CLOTHES OVER BROS
Millicent : Mia's new record?
Brooke : Yeah. It's really good. She's actually doing a signing in New York tomorrow night. Maybe you could go ...
Millicent : Yeah!
Brooke : About that ... if you weren't gonna be here in tree hill instead.
Millicent : Wait. What?
Brooke : The store's gonna be back up and running soon, and I need you here to run it.
Millicent : But what about New York? Don't you need someone there?
Brooke : I do, but your boy is here.
OUTSIDE LUCAS'S HOUSE
Dan : Hi, Peyton.
Peyton : What do you want?
Dan : I just wanted ... could I hold her?
Peyton : No. Why?
Dan : Because she's the only one in my world who doesn't know what I've done.
Peyton : Just for a second.
Take your last step.
Dan : I'd forgotten what it was like. She's so beautiful. What's her name?
Peyton : Sawyer.
Dan : Sawyer Scott. And now, said max, let the wild rumpus start.
Peyton : Where the wild things are.
Dan : I used to read it to Nathan. It seems like another life ago.
Peyton : It was.
Dan : I know you're gonna have to tell her about me someday. I'm sorry for that. Hallelujah for these eyes she your painted life. Hallelujah for the touch of skin to skin with mine. Hallelujah for this mind that keeps our souls combined. Hallelujah for this life that let me be your child have your mind, have your strength to stay alive keep your eyes open with mine now oh, no. You followed the road
AT MOUTH'S OFFICE
Millicent : How would you like your old roommate back?
A face without words can last a lifetime it's never the same so don't say goodbyes that last forever now hold on just for a while but I'll be by to see you someday soon now please hold on tonight oh, 'cause I'm old and I don't know why. Hallelujah for these eyes
AT CLOTHES OVER BROS
Victoria : Tell me about ... Julian. Brooke. What kind of man is he?
Brooke : The kind who's gone.
Hallelujah for this mind that keeps our souls combined now. Hallelujah for this life that let me be your child.
AT THE CIMETERY
Nathan : I finally made it, Q. Something tells me you already know that. I miss you, buddy. Oh, and, Q, you're right ... It's a comeback. Thank you.
You're a traffic light of fire you're a man who I believe will never die
AT LUCAS'S HOUSE
Brooke : Hi.
Peyton : Hi
Brooke : Luke around?
Peyton : No. He had to take Karen to the airport. She had to get back.
Brooke : She's so beautiful.
Peyton : Yeah, I kind of like her.
Brooke : So how does it feel, P. Sawyer? You have a family now. You ... you have this whole other life to look after.
Peyton : It feels just like I dreamed it would.
Brooke : Can I hold her?
Peyton : Yeah! Got her?
Brooke : Oh, yeah. Hi, Sawyer. I'm your aunt Brooke, and I am gonna spoil you. Yes, I am, Sawyer Scott.
Peyton : Sawyer Brooke Scott.
Brooke : Really?
Peyton : Yeah.
Brooke : See, I always knew you were a Brooke. And it is a really good name, baby Brooke.
Peyton : Just like I dreamed. And what about your dreams, Brooke Davis?
AT CLOTHES OVER BROS
Brooke : Are you going somewhere?
Victoria : Back to New York. The designs are excellent. The new line should stabilize the company. There's nothing left for me to do here. There are a few things that I need to leave you with. We need to call our publicist and arrange a series of interviews announcing your return to the company. You need to speak with the people at red and organize some sort of charitable contribution.
And you need to fly to Los Angeles and tell that boy that you love him.
Brooke : What?
Victoria : When I was young, there was a boy who loved me, and I loved him back. But he wasn't from my circle of friends, and he was different than what my parents expected ... so I let him go. And not a day has gone by that I don't regret it.
Brooke : Why haven't you ever told me this?
Victoria : Because I've been a terrible mother. I have a daughter who is ... strong and bright, kindhearted, so beautiful ... and I've nearly broken her with my inability to open my heart. But I haven't broken her. She's just as strong and beautiful and kindhearted as ever. She simply misnamed her company. Because if this boy Julian loves you ... and you love him ... That's all that matters. That is the most important thing. And the clothes can wait.
Victoria : This is for you.
Brooke : What is it?
Victoria : It's the company. It's all yours ... 100%.
Brooke : But why?
Victoria : I'd rather have my daughter than a company.
Brooke : But you loved this company.
Victoria : Yeah. I did. And I was wrong. I should have loved you more ... and the company less. I just didn't know how.
Brooke : Mom? I want you to stay on ... and run things from New York.
Victoria : You're keeping me?
Brooke : You're good at what you do. And besides ... you're my mother.
Victoria : My daughter. My daughter. I love you so much. And I'm so proud of you.
AT MOUTH'S OFFICE
Jerry : 60 seconds, Mouth.
Mouth : Thanks, Jerry. Thanks. I thought you took off.
Millicent : I just wanted to watch my boy work.
Mouth : I like that ... being your boy.
Millicent : I like it, too. Skills called. They're gonna watch the game with us.
Mouth : Great. Sounds perfect.
Millicent : It does, doesn't it?
Jerry : We're back in 10!
Mouth : God, I love my life. A full slate in the NBA kicks off tonight with the Charlotte Bobcats, who recently called up Nathan Scott. The team says that Scott will take his physical ...
Mouth : Take a look at yourself in a mirror. Who do you see looking back?
Haley : Is it the person you want to be?
AT SCOTT'S HOUSE
Jamie : You made it.
Nathan : We made it.
Dan : Or is there someone else you were meant to be ... the person you should have been, but fell short of?
Mia : Is someone telling you, you can't or you won't? Because you can.
AT NEW YORK
Chase : Could you write, "Thanks for the 45 seconds of heaven"?
Mia : 30. Wait for me?
Chase : Hell, yeah.
Chase : Believe that love is out there.
AT THE GYMNASIUM
Man : From the university of maryland, 6'2" point guard, wearing number 12, Nathan Scott!
Nathan : Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Peyton : Sometimes happiness doesn't come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family and from the quiet nobility of leading a good life.
AT LOS ANGELES
Man : We're gonna try the lights now, okay, Julian?
Julian : Okay.
Brooke : You told me that someday I'd be ready to let someone in. I think today mean to be "someday".
Julian : Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Julian : If this was a movie, you'd kiss me right now.
Brooke : No. I'd say, "I love you," and then I'd kiss you. I love you.
Brooke : Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
ON THE ROAD IN THE COMET
Lucas : Take a ride with me, Peyton Sawyer?
Peyton : Don't you mean Peyton Scott?
Peyton : So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy, because you deserve to be. Believe that.
Lucas : And believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.


Glenn: Lola, we have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, you don't have cancer.
Lola: Ohh!
Glenn: Cat just put nair in your shampoo.
Cat: Because you ate my lunch from the refrigerator.
Glenn: And the bad news is, she also put a chemical in your iced tea which turns your nose into a tennis ball. But it only lasts a second. So basically, everything's okay. Everything's okay.
Owen: Chief! Can't you see I'm busy?
Chief: Sometimes I wish I was a mirror.
Lola: Hey, Dori, my round sheet is empty. Is that a mistake?
Dori: Doesn't look like it.
Owen: This place is empty. What gives?
Dori: There are no admissions today, and we just discharged the last child.
Cat: Are you saying there are no more patients left in the hospital?
Beth: Guys, what do we do with all our time?
Sy: Listen, I'm going into town to register the new ambulance.
Glenn: Sy! Sy! Sy! Before you go, there are no patients left to treat. Any extra tasks you need us doing?
Sy: As a matter of fact, thank you, Glenn. There's a lot of things to be done. First off, the organ supply room needs cleaning.
Blake: I'll do it! [ Laughs ] Psych!
Sy: Wear gloves this time.
Blake: I'll do it my own way.
Sy: And then, most importantly, the patients' records, all right? Now, look at this -- completely disorganized. These have been handed down from administrator to administrator. You know how important this is to me. Glenn, will you take care of reorganizing this entire room?
Glenn: I will not let you down, sir.
Sy: I would never have asked you, son, if I didn't believe in you.
Chet: Are they falling in love?
Owen: Yes.
Sy: All right, Glenn is in charge, everybody.
Sy: You know what, Lola? That is a great idea. The animal-testing lab is filthy.
Lola: [ Scoffs ] Should have said, "I'd rather clean the Dylan McDermott lab."
Sy: Who's gonna come with me? It's a great adventure. Dori! Perfect!
Dori: Ohh!
Sy: Let's go!
Blake: Hey, Rosa. Working hard or hardly working?
Rosa: [ European accent ] Oh, somewhere in between, Mr. Dr. Downs.
Blake: I see what you're saying. You're not working as hard as you can be, but you're certainly not working.
Rosa: [ Chuckles ]
Blake: Oof. This uterus expired on Tuesday. You know what? I figure we have a 10-day grace period.
Rosa: Expiration dates are really just suggestions.
Blake: I like the way you think, lady.
Rosa: You know, being around all these organs is making me hungry. Would you like to come to my home for lunch?
Sal: Attention, staff. My dick. That is all.
Lola: Hey, chief.
Chief: Oh. Owen isn't interested in me. Do you think he noticed I use a walker?
Lola: Oh, I'd love to girl-gab, but I just injected all these stem cells into that handicapped monkey.
[ Screeches ]
Chief: He doesn't need glasses or his walker?!
[ Gasps ]
Stem cells cure handicaps! Mama want!
Lola: No! Chief, no! Oh, God!
Chief: [ Gasping ] Wait a minute. I don't feel anything at all. Thanks for nothing, whore!
Lola: Wait. Chief. Think fast!
[ Gasps ]
Amazing!
Chief: Oh, my God.
Lola: Look at that. Oh, my God.
Chief: I'm cured! Stem cells? What a great idea!
Glenn: [ Laughs ] Okay. What do you say, guys? Let's get busy!
Cat: I'm not doing donkey dick.
Glenn: Look, Cat --
Chet: What part of "donkey dick" don't you understand, ass-kisser?!
Glenn: All right. So, how do you want to do this? My favorite letters are I, T, V, Q, and S, so, obviously, I'll take -- aaaah! Oh, my God. For a second there, I thought that was a real airplane. What's the deal, Cat?
Cat: Glenn, this is a free day! I mean, do you really want to spend it organizing records, or do you want to spend setting them? Am I right, guys?
[ Peppy music plays ]
[ Music stops ]
Okay, let's go!
[ Music resumes ]
[ Both laughing ]
Glenn: Come on, guys!
Are we doctors or are we... Dart doctors?
[ Music continues on radio ]
No! No, no, no! The ladies' room is right there! Sy, where are you?
Owen: Ha-cha-cha! Whew. Ooh. Hey, there. You new at this hospital?
Chief: In a way.
Owen: What's your name, beautiful?
Chief: My name? Uh, I-- it's... it's, uh, uh... [ Sneezes ]
Chief: My name... Ooh, I -- ouch. It's, uh... hey.
Chief: Uh...it's chief. Uh, chief...Smith.
Owen: Oh. Well, we have another lady here named chief, but she's ugly.
Chief: Oh, really?
Owen: Yeah. She's about as ugly as a big pile of poo.
Chief: Oh.
Owen: Mm-hmm. She's so ugly, a poo takes a her.
Chief: Hmm.
Owen: If a dog wanted to eat his own poo, he would make a mistake and eat her.
Chief: Yeah.
Owen: For all intents and purposes, she is poo.
Chief: Ohhh.
Owen: When she goes to the toilet store, they tell her to "go around back 'cause that's where we let the poo in."
Chief: Oh, God.
Owen: If you do a Google image search of the word "poo," pictures of poo show up, but then there's a picture of her. Mm. Crazy people smear her on the walls.
Chief: There's more.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Rosa: Hi! Hi. We're hungry, mama! We're hungry!
Rosa: They're saying they're hungry.
Blake: Yeah, yeah. No, I heard them. They spoke English.
Rosa: Come and sit. Back in Ukraine, I was hospital administrator. I loved it so. Oh, thank you, grandma. I work at Childrens just to be around the administrating.
Blake: Sort of like a lower-stakes "Good Will Hunting."
Rosa: Exactly.
Blake: Yeah. [ Laughs ] Mmm. This soup is incredible. Is there a secret ingredient?
Rosa: Oh, yes. [ Chuckles ] Love.
[ Folk music plays ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
Cat: Glenn, come on.
Let yourself go.
Glenn: Ahh...
Cat: Dance.
Glenn: Oh, you know what? You're right. The files can wait. I got to dance! I got to dance!
[ All cheering ]
Lola: Whoa, Glenn!
Chet: Yeah!
Lola: All right!
Cat: What?!
Glenn: Hey!
Pool! Pool! Aah!
[ All cheering ]
Lola: [ Vomits ]
Glenn: Free day! [ Laughs ]
Blake: Thank you so much, Sasha.
Really nice meeting you, Andrash. And you, too, Tiffany. Don't ever change. And you... [ laughs ] This day has been wonderful.
Rosa: No!
Blake: But we -- we have a connection. I'm Robin Williams, you're Matt Damon. Let's make love, like they did in the movie.
Rosa: No! No! I don't like you like that! Please, Dr. Blake, leave!
Blake: Let me kiss her on the mouth! Rosa! No! No! No! No! Mwah! Mwah! No!
[ Both laughing ]
Owen: I'll tell you what, chief Smith, I'm gonna go get us some mai tais.
Don't you go anywhere.
Chief: Don't you worry.
Both: Rowr!
[ Both laugh ]
Chief: Mmm.
Lola: Hey! Think fast!
[ Gasps ]
Chief: Wait a minute.
Let me put on my -- my glasses.
Owen: Poo chief, where did chief Smith go?! You got to help me find her!
Chief: Her is me! Her is me! ♪ For your sins ♪
Glenn: Hey, Blake, where have you been?
Blake: Well, let's just say that I've been to another world and I fell in love, and it was not mutual, and I was forcibly removed.
Cat: Aw, sweet.
Glenn: Are those patients' files?
Cat: Yeah.
Glenn: Why are you throwing them into the fire?!
Cat: Don't you get it? I don't know.
[ Cellphone vibrates ]
Glenn: Sy's on his way back.
Lola: If only any of us knew something about administrating, then we could fix this.
Blake: Wait a minute!
Guys, I have an idea. Wait right here, okay? Do you have a sec?
Rosa: No.
Blake: Come on. Everybody, this is Rosa. She's my girlfriend. She can fix this.
Rosa: Not your girlfriend. Blake told me the situation. We would have to re-create all the files by calling every patient and getting their medical history. It's impossible.
Glenn: Oh, I failed.
Blake: Impossible? [ Laughs ] Nothing's impossible if you follow your heart. Not even love.
Cat: Hi. I'm calling from Childrens hospital. I was wondering, were you ever a patient here?
Beth: And when was his last vaccination?
Blake: What do you think your weight was in 1975?
Lola: I'm still at work. We have to re-create these stupid patient files we burned in a hallway campfire.
Owen: She's so ugly that monkeys take her out of their butts and throw her at people at the zoo.
Cat: And that's it. We did it!
Lola: Ohh!
Cat: We did it!
Glenn: That's it?! We replaced all the files?
Cat: No, just this one single file, but you act like it's not that impressive.
Sy: Glenn! What the hell happened here?!
Cat: Sy, it's fault--
Glenn: No, Cat.
Cat: Oh.
Glenn: I got to own this. Yeah, we burned the files. And we'd do it again, 'cause, news flash, Sy -- I don't want to run your hospital, 'cause as a surgeon, I make sick money, and you live in a condo at the Harborlight Mall.
Sy: I admit it. I was wr-- I was wr-- I was wro--
Glenn: Sy's having a stroke! Everybody come quick!
Chet: I got it! I got it!
Lola: No! No! No!
Blake: Thank you, Rosa. You've been great.
Rosa: I did literally nothing and nothing got fixed.
Blake: Eh, tomayto, tomahto.
Sy: No, I just had trouble saying I was wrong. It's a tic. Eh, it's a living.
Sal: Attention, staff. When I say "That is," you say "All." That is... that is all.


Gabe: Ugh, man. My delts are blasted. I wish they had a chart for how much protein powder to scoop for a 180 pound man with no fat.
Dwight: Protein powder, huh? You cut it with water? Why don't you just take estrogen? [swallows powder] [coughs] There you go boys. See how papa takes care of you? [kisses bicep] Mwah.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Gabe: I remember when people thought biceps were all that. They'd flex them all night at the discotheque.
Dwight: Oh, I bet you think it's all about core, huh?
Gabe: Yeah.
Dwight: Oh, please.
Gabe: Core's critical. There are four tenets of pilates that I live my life by. One - lengthen. Two - elongate.
Jim: Listen, guys, I think we all want to know the same thing, right? Who's the strongest? Well, there's only one way to solve that - flat curl contest.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: All right, here we go everybody. May the manliest man win. Go.
Dwight: Feast on this, Lewis.
Gabe: I love the burn. The burn is where I live.
Jim: Come on, Gabe, you can't handle his hamstrings. You're getting hypno-thigh-zed.
Gabe: Speed set. One. Two.
Jim: Here, this is for your elbows, for your elbows.
Dwight: Oh, thank you.
Jim: You're welcome.
Gabe: Five. Six.
Jim: Quick phone call from you guys, keep going,
All: Eight, nine, ten.
Gabe: We got it?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Very funny Jim.
Gabe: Yeah, Jim. Way to mock us for perfecting our bodies.
Robert: Everyone, conference room, now. [Dwight and Gabe stand up, falling over]
Jim: All right, easy there, grandpa.
Dwight: I don't need your help.
Jim: Okay. You don't need my help?
Dwight: Here, here... Just...
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: Morning.
Erin: Hey.
Andy: Somebody left in such a hurry this morning that she forgot... these.
Erin: Oh.
Andy: You know the only thing more delicious than your feet is the feast that I am going to prepare for everyone.
Erin: Andy, if you're gonna hang out for a while, uh...
Andy: What's this?
Erin: This dumb rule Robert made, he just wants visitors to sign in.
Andy: Is this Robert's attempt to embarrass me?
Erin: No, of course not. It's just - I think it's like if we make an exception for you, then we have to make an exception for the water guy, and then, it's like, where does it end? So just... [puts visitors tag on Andy]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: Why is it when other people spend all their time at the office, they're rewarded for it, and when I do it, I am told it's a little much? ...Is it because I am not an employee anymore, because that's what it feels like.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: All right, well, enjoy the alumni game.
Dwight: Good, we have a deal?
Jim: Thanks Janet.
Dwight: Thanks so much Earl.
Jim: Wow, simultaneous sale.
Dwight: And they said it couldn't be done. Boom!
Jim: Screw 'em.
Andy: Lot going on guys. What's happening?
Jim: Binghamton branch closed last night and their clients are up for grabs.
Andy: That was a fine branch. Things are really bad under Robert California, I guess. It's like a festival of poo.
Jim: Hey, hey, come on, language.
Dwight: Yeah, and we're not interested in your sour grapes, okay? Jim, tell him where he can stick his grapes.
Jim: In the fridge.
Dwight: No, Jim, the butt, in his butt.
Jim: Sorry, man, I can't focus on zingers. There's too many potential clients.
Stanley: You two better watch yourselves.
Phyllis: Yeah, the Syracuse branch can't be happy you're taking New York clients.
Robert: Shh... shh... [vomits in trash can]
Jim: Robert?
Oscar: Why did Binghamton close?
Robert: Can everyone just, please... I had a one-man saturnalia last night, in celebration of the finalization of my divorce. I got into a case of Australian reds, and - how should I say this - Columbian whites. What - what is this about, uh, Binghamton?
Kevin: The branch closed. Forever.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Robert: Closing the Binghamton branch never occurred to me before today. Or, I guess, last night. But, in vino veritas as they say, I'm not gonna start doubting my drunken self now.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Nellie: I got your voicemail. From - from last night.
Robert: Wonderful.
Nellie: And the answer... is yes, yes, yes, yes, and never. [leaves]
Robert: Pam, when's the last time you lived so intensely that your brain literally couldn't hold the memories in?
Pam: Oh, it was this summer -
Robert: Apparently, I left a phone message for Nellie last night, and I need you to find out what I said.
Pam: Um, I am a little busy.
Robert: Yes, 'course. Why don't you list the things that would keep you from helping me.
Pam: Yeah, I can make you a list.
Robert: Let's do it now. What's number one?
Pam: Why don't I help you now?
Robert: There we go.
Pam: Okay.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Andy cooking food by reception, Harry walks in]
Harry: Who the hell are Jim Halpert and Dwight Schrute?
Erin: Jim, Dwight, what are your last names?
Dwight: And you are...
Harry: Harry Jannerone, Dunder Mifflin Syracuse.
[shocked look from Jim]
Harry: What the hell's all this?
Andy: Uh, cherries jubilee over homemade gelato.
Harry: You live well down here in P.A. I want to talk to you guys right now. Oh, and Lloyd Gross too. Which one's that guy?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: The salesmen have a commission cap, but we figured out a way around it.
Dwight: Lloyd Gross is a fictional salesman we invented to - how do I put this - steal from the company. Embezzle. To commit fraud.
Jim: Okay, it sounds sketchy, but it helps us get more money.
Dwight: Yes.
Jim: Pam made a drawing of Lloyd. He is a blend of all the salesman. [shows sketch]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: [pointing at Toby] There he is. That's Lloyd.
Toby: Me?
Creed: Yeah, you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Harry: Where do you get off crossing state lines?
Toby: Now, we're actually a lot closer to Binghamton than you are. Kimosabe.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Toby: I like to think Lloyd Gross is a no-nonsense guy who doesn't back down from anybody. And he calls people "Kimosabe".
[SCENE_BREAK]
Harry: They're New York. We're New York. Sate line is the dividing line. That's the way it's always been.
Jim: There's actually not a rule that says that.
Dwight: That's true.
Toby: That's true. There's no rule. You can check the employee handbook. Oh, can I check the employee handbook Lloyd? Well, does it say anything about me choking a man with my bare hands?
Toby: No.
Dwight: Wait, no? Are you kidding me? You told me there was a rule. I could've choked so many people by now.
Harry: Stay out of my state. It's in your best interest to stay out of my state.
Toby: I've seen guys like you. Big guys who like to push the little guys around. Lloyd Gross eats bullies like you for breakfast.
Harry: Just stay out of New York, Lloyd.
Toby: Hey, text from the old wife. Gonna take that. [runs outside]
Jim: How about this? How about we just ask Robert? Can we all agree that maybe the C.E.O should decide this?
Harry: Robert's here. Look at us. Bickering like schoolgirls, looking around the room for things to hit each other with. I don't think we were doing that.
Dwight: Chair, lamp, plant, table leg, Jim's leg.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Robert: Where's the Advil, Jim? I think I've hit my limit on the Tylenol - Oh.
Andy: [Doing dishes] Sorry, not Jim.
Robert: Andrew, what do we have to do to get rid of you? Hire you back and send Erin back to Florida?
Andy: Message received loud and clear. Just have to get the caramelized sugar off the pan before it dries.
Robert: Oh, for god -
Harry: Robert California. What a surprise you're here in Scranton.
Robert: Harry...
Harry: So why would you close Binghamton down without a transition plan in place?
Robert: How do you mean?
Andy: I forgot, a... a pan, uh -
Harry: No, no, no, no, no, kid, stay there, do your dishes, go ahead.
Robert: Harry there is a time for every decision, predetermined many years ago. There's no benefit in questioning why this particular decision seems... so poorly timed.
Dwight: Okay, what are you deciding? We get a say.
Harry: Listen, Robert, I don't have time. There's a big client in play. Prestige direct mail solutions -
Dwight: Don't listen to him.
Harry: Used to be Binghamton's -
Dwight: Nope.
Harry: I want it, it's mine.
Dwight: Prestige is ours. Okay, they're responsible for half of the junk mail on the eastern seaboard. We get them. We already put a call into them, Robert.
Harry: We need you to make a decision.
Dwight: Make a decision.
Robert: I have decided. Neither of you are to have any contact with either Prestige or any other Binghamton client until I have figured out how to divide things up. As Solomon once said... [Andy walks out]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: Some bizarre energy in this place today. Robert is going off the rails, making some funky decisions. Like why is nobody gonna call on Prestige? That is a huge client. [walking to car] I mean, they could give their business to the first person to walk in the door. Could be any idiot. Any idiot at all.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Robert: Shaping a company is, in a sense, similar to training a geisha. You have to mold not merely the physical form, but also the character. The two must harmonize. Are they still there? [camera pans to right, Harry, Dwight, and Jim watching Robert in conference room] They want a decision who gets the big client. Well, they can wait. I'll still be talking about geishas long past their bedtime. You know, I trained as one.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Harry: Is it just me or is our boss a freakin' weirdo? [stands up, walks outside] I'm gonna get some air.
Dwight: Jim, you know what would be really dastardly? If we snuck out of here and got to the client first.
Jim: [Gets up and looks out Nellie's office window] He's running!
Dwight: Damn it!
Jim: Damn it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Wha - what is this supposed to be?
Jim: It's a monkey.
Dwight: Jim, great real. This is not a monkey. It's got a hula skirt and a blue nose.
Jim: Hold on, hold on. Is this him?
Dwight: What?
Jim: Is that him?
Dwight: It's him! Do something! Get out!
Jim: What? What am I gonna do? I don't -
Dwight: Go slash his tires! Go dent his hood. [Jim opens passenger door] That's it? Oh, that's great. That's like a five second delay.
Jim: Dwight!
Dwight: Come on, let's go! Does this thing have turbo? Nitrous? Hit the nos.
Jim: Nos? You mean like in fast and furious?
Dwight: Yeah.
Jim: Oh, yeah, definitely have nos.
Dwight: Hit the nos.
Jim: Are you sure?
Dwight: Yes.
Jim: Brace yourself. 3... 2...
Dwight: Got it. Go.
Jim: 1. Here we go! [turns on wipers]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: Hello. Andy Bernard to see the C.E.O.
Receptionist: Oh, do you have an appointment?
Andy: No, I do not.
Receptionist: Okay, I think I can squeeze you in.
Andy: Seriously? 'Cause I could just be anyone. I mean, I thought I was gonna have to convince you.
Receptionist: He's really not that busy.
Mr. Ramish: Is there someone here to see me?
Receptionist: Yes, this man.
Mr. Ramish: Come on in. [Andy walks in]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: So...what do you make of this Robert California guy? I mean, what does a guy like that do on an average weeknight?
Nellie: Oh. Oh, I'll tell you what he does.
Angela:: [walks in] Hello! Hello, my clucking hens. Got room for another in the roost? Huh? Don't worry, I won't lay an egg.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Angela:: Robert sent me to take over if Pam fails. If? [laughs]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Angela:: I have been crunching numbers all day. Math is for boys. I need girl talk.
Gabe: Did someone say girl talk?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Gabe: Sometimes I wonder if I have ovaries in my scrotum, because I am great at girl talk.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Gabe: Have you guys been watching any good Korean soap operas? I'm pretty deep into Hee-Jungcinderella girl. Although, I definitely fast-forward through the young-Tae storylines.
Nellie: Do you think I'd like that, or is it important to have an Asian fetish?
Gabe: Uh, I think you're gonna need to have an Asian fetish. Yeah. [chuckles] It'll be upsetting if you don't.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: I'm a former paper executive. I know the product. I know the margins. I can save you 25% on your costs.
Mr. Ramish: Why haven't I heard of you? You got any references?
Andy: No. I'm a rogue.
Mr. Ramish: Uh-huh.
Andy: Which is the best part. That means you will be my first customer and your business will get 100% of my attention. Now... [pulls out business card] I have written down my personal phone number. You call this anytime.
Mr. Ramish: Every salesman I've ever met has given me his personal phone number.
Andy: Of course they have. Which is why I'm giving you a key to my house. [gives key to C.E.O] Whatever you need - anytime, night or day - you just stop on by.
Mr. Ramish: You want me to drive to your house if I need paper.
Andy: Maybe you just want someone to talk to. Maybe... you need a place to crash for a couple of days. My wireless password is eat pray love. Easy to remember.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Ready? Go! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. [takes off belt, ties doors together]
Dwight: [Running] Ahhh! [Slides into elevator]
Jim: You all right?
Dwight: Yeah. [Doors about to close, hand stops them] Oh.
Jim: Ah! [Harry walks in]
Jim: [Dwight pushes button for floor two] Dwight, what are you doing?
Dwight: Go, go! Take the stairs! Now!
Jim: What are you talking about?
Dwight: Just run! Take the stairs!
Jim: I don't even know where the stairs are!
Dwight: I'll stall him. Go!
Jim: God!
Harry: [Dwight jumping] What are you doing?
Dwight: I'm gonna activate the seismic failsafe. We'll be stuck between floors for hours. [pants fall down] Oh. [Jim runs in] My pants fell down.
Jim: What?
Dwight: My pants fell down! I don't have a belt!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: [walks into lobby] Hello, sir. Good day. Dwight K. Schrute. Dunder Mifflin, Scranton. Forgive my pants, they fell down. An appointment with Mr. Ramish, please. Right now is fine. No, no, no, I was here first. Dwight K. Schrute. Dunder Mifflin, Scranton.
Mr. Ramish: What's going on?
Dwight: Well -
Harry: Mr. Ramish, Harry Jannerone. Dunder Mifflin, Syracuse -
Dwight: I was here first.
Mr. Ramish: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay.
Dwight: I already made an appointment... with your secretary.
Mr. Ramish: Let me stop you all right here. I've already picked a new paper supplier.
Dwight: Wait, it's not D.M Utica, is it?
Mr. Ramish: No, no, it's not Dunder Mifflin at all actually. It's... Big Red Paper Company.
Jim: Big Red Paper Company?
Mr. Ramish: Mm-hmm.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: Yes, yes, yes!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Harry: Give me a cup of coffee.
Dwight: Me too. Or do you also have a monopoly on thirst?
Jim: All right, guys. It didn't work out for any of us, so... we're still on the same team. Let me get these.
Dwight: No. Let him get his own. It's Syracuse money.
Harry: You know, your partner's got a lotta attitude. But I like that. How long you guys been dating?
Dwight: Jim couldn't land me in a thousand years.
Jim: But you're saying there's a chance.
Dwight: Shut up.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: [Walks into conference room] Hey.
Robert: Hmm.
Pam: I stole Nellie's phone.
Robert: Excellent. Excellent. Though troubling that your first instinct is thievery.
Pam: What do you want from me?
Robert: Now we get to the bottom of Nellie's "yes, yes, yes, yes, never."
Phone: Hi, Nell, it's mom. Do keep your chin up. It can't be as bad as you described.
Robert: Oh yes it can.
Phone: This is MasterCard. You are over the limit. Send the minimum payment of $448 by Monday, or we will be forced to send it to collections.
Robert: Shopaholic.
Pam: Sounds like it.
Robert: Yeah.
Phone: Hi, sis. Is your boss still hitting on you?
Robert: Ah.
Phone: This is Annie from second nests. I'm sorry, but the Romanian orphanage felt more comfortable with a two-person nuclear family than a single mother, so, we're gonna hold out for that.
Pam: Okay, that's enough. [grabs phone]
Robert: Pam, we need to get to the bottom of this.
Pam: No, no, no!
Robert: No, come on.
Pam: Robert! Okay, oops! I deleted them all. They're all deleted.
Robert: Pam, Pam, you've completely bungled this!
Pam: Ah. Ahh. [walks out]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: Hey.
Nellie: Can I do it, Pam? Can I put off a gold Arabian sandal?
Pam: Um... yes. Definitely. With your hair -
Nellie: Oh!
Pam: Certainly. Um... you dropped your cell phone.
Nellie: Oh, gosh.
Pam: Yep.
Nellie: Thank you. I'm... so stupid.
Pam: No. My goodness. You have a lot going on. With Robert and everything.
Nellie: Oh, god, Pam. Don't get me started.
Pam: No, I will not.
Nellie: You've just got me started. Robert... is... a filthy beast. I mean, don't you get the feeling, he's just thinking of fifteen different ways to do you?
Pam: Well -
Nellie: I mean, the man talks of nothing but s*x.
Pam: But sometimes he talks about flesh... and bacchanals.
Nellie: I cannot even tell you what he left on my phone last night.
Pam: No... don't. Just put it out of your mind.
Nellie: Pam, what is your address? I'm gonna send you a pair of these gold harem shoes. Oh, no. You don't -
Nellie: Oh yes. Come on, a little gold Arabian slipper.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Nellie: Things are looking up. I might be a mother soon. I have MasterCard right where I want them. And... I have a new friend. A friend. At work.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Robert: [Erin opens door] Erin.
Erin: There's a call for you on line one.
Robert: Who is it?
Erin: He says salvation. No last name.
Robert: Yeah, hello?
Andy: [in car] You once put me on a list of the losers in the office. Well, this loser just got your biggest client to give him all their business. So hire me back, that business is yours. Don't, and I will find another buyer.
Robert: You're blackmailing me.
Andy: It's just business.
Robert: Ah, well, I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penised debutante. You wanna start a street fight with me, bring it on. You're gonna be surprised by how ugly it gets. You don't even know my real name. I'm the *bleep* lizard king. [disconnects]
Andy: Whoa. Well I gave him a chance. [gets out of car, walks to house]
David: [opens door] Andy Bernard.
Andy: You got a minute?
David: Um... I'm in the middle of a piano lesson.
Andy: I wanted to see if I could interest you in an investment. Dunder Mifflin.
David: Dunder Mifflin. [closes door] Now... why would I want that? It's worth half of what it was three years ago.
Andy: Exactly. And you know better than anyone that with the right management it could be worth twice what you would pay for it today.
David: Why don't you come in? [Andy walks in, closes door]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Harry: So what would you do if you weren't selling paper?
Jim: Oh, man, I'd have to sell beets. Probably submit them for competitions.
Dwight: What?
Jim: Yeah! I know it sounds stupid, but nationals has always kinda been a dream of mine.
Dwight: How have we never talked about this before? Wait. You don't even care about nationals.
Harry: Nothing?
Jim: I don't know. I've always wanted to own a bike shop, but what about you?
Harry: I'd like to sell one big thing, you know? Like... a plane. One sale, I'm out.
Jim: That sounds lovely.
Harry: Anyway, Robert's gonna run this company into the ground, so... We won't be doing this in six months.


[In a shop in New York City]
Jenny: So you, you deliver the dresses and I take the accessories.
Seller (showing ornaments of jewels): You have chosen which one?
Jenny: Oh, no! I'm helping Blair. I am not invited, then we'll see.
Seller (hooking him a bracelet on your wrist): See! In case.
Jenny: Oh!
Seller: We put it on the note of your friend.
Jenny: Oh, uh no, no!
Seller: The girls invited to the ball are our best customers. You will be our model of an evening and you will make us the bracelet after.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In the room of Blair]
Serena: Kati told me about custom corsets, crowns, wigs ... What is this madness?
Blair: This is a masked ball. The goal is that nobody recognizes. But I expected a little something extra for Nate tonight! It's a game, a sort of treasure hunt. It will begin with an index, which will take him to a lady of honor, which will lead to a second index ...
Serena: Wait, wait! You got the ladies?
Blair: If he finds me before midnight, before the masks come off, the treasure is for him!
Serena: And what is it? (Blair a mischievous smile) Oh! Well yes, I'm stupid. Sorry.
Blair: You know, j'me myself that after all that happened, or rather all that is past, I had to do a little effort.
Serena: I find it very romantic B. Really. And if you do not want me to come tonight I would understand ...
Blair: Oh, but it will not! No! You can not not be there. In fact, I want you to give the last index. Will you be my maid of honor?
Serena: What! You really want to be me?
Blair: I see this event as a new beginning. J'te J'lui trust and have faith.
Serena: Well, I'd be more than honored to serve you Majesty!
Blair: Either way you go with Dan?
[In the kitchen of Humphrey]
Dan: A ball?
Rufus (Jenny looking package all required): You knew that your sister's name was Cinderella?
Dan: And I bet your charming half-sister is Blair Waldorf!
Jenny: It's true that she asked me a few services but I'm glad to help.
Rufus: And she has to thank you with a prompt and a dress?
Jenny: I would have deserved. The ballroom, the costumes ... it's gonna be insane! It's weird that Serena you have not mentioned.
Dan: But why? This is not because we went out twice together we are forced to remain glued to each other.
Jenny: Well I must deliver it all. Let me know if you need a tuxedo! Dan (Rufus just looking at him): Well what! This is a masked ball, she must say that I will find it rather ridiculous, proving that she knows me pretty well.
[In the room of Blair]
Serena: I know! Wait, a masked ball! I know, I know he will find it completely ridiculous. You imagine a wolf and a tuxedo, frankly?
Blair: We adore you! To go out with you would be able to do anything. Even wearing a dress my mother if it is. And then not worry, I'm sure he has nothing planned tonight. Who would ever think to invite this guy?
Serena: You're disgusting! I know. In fact, it might be better if there's masks, as if it y'en high school who hates it and recognize them well.
Blair: Come on, invites Dan Humphrey. That's an order!
[In the kitchen of Humphrey]
Dan: I did not say that I would not. Serena invites me if it would be rude not to give it my company.
Rufus: It would be very cruel!
Dan: But she did not invite me so ...
Rufus: If you want to accompany him, what to do. Be a little daring.
Dan: The festival takes place in a few hours. I have more time to really prepare myself for the idea of being bold.
Rufus (Dan's cell phone ringing): This is Serena?
Dan: Oh no, it's Vanessa!
Rufus: Vanessa! Been a long time. You pick right?
Dan: But if, of course I'll win. (On phone) Hello! Vanessa?
Vanessa (on phone): Winner! It's me.
Dan (on phone): So what's new? It's going to Vermont?
Vanessa (on phone): You always have my book "The Crying of Lot 49"?
Dan (on phone): Uh ... I know.
Vanessa (on phone): Will you check?
Dan (on phone): Uh ... right! It's been over a year that has not spoken, you make me an old book ads!
[In Dan's room]
Dan (on phone): I know where I belong.
Vanessa: Look at the window!
Dan: Vanessa!
Vanessa: Surprise!
Dan: Wow! But I can not believe it!
Vanessa: How are you?
Dan: I can not believe it's great. -What are you doing here?
Vanessa: My parents let me live with my sister that I finish my studies here.
Dan: So that means ...
Vanessa: I came to stay.
Dan: Wow! It is ...
Vanessa: A great new hope?
Dan: Oh yes! Wait it is! Yes, of course. It is still unexpected. This is unexpected news. (His phone rings) Oh!
Vanessa: Go pick up. I'm starving and I can smell waffles. Rufus!
Rufus: Vanessa!
Vanessa: Surprise!
[In the room of Dan / Blair's Bedroom]
Dan (on phone): Serena! Are you okay?
Serena (on phone): Hi! Are you okay? Uh ...
Blair: Go go ahead.
Serena (on phone): Uh ... I actually wanted to know if you had anything planned tonight?
Dan (on phone): Uh ... Tonight? Nah, nah, nah, nothing. Why?
Serena (on phone): Super because I have a night, finally you will surely find it completely sucks, but ...
Dan (on phone): Always try.
Vanessa: Even cooler, these waffles are screaming! The kitchen of Rufus failed me. It's true! Hey Rufus! You got whipped cream?
Serena (on phone): Who was that?
Dan (on phone): Uh ... It is my sister. What-you wanted to tell me?
Jenny (arriving in Blair's room with an armful of bags): Hi, this is me! You want me to ask it where?
Blair: It's good, you can put it all here. (Showing a small table) I left you a different list.
Jenny (taking the list): Ah!
Dan (on phone): Hello! There was someone?
Serena (on phone): Excuse me, uh ... What?
Dan (on phone): Uh, you were going to ask you something.
Serena (on phone): No, uh ... no.
Dan (on phone): Are you sure?
Serena (on phone): No, forget it. Thank you. I must leave you.
Dan (on phone): Oh, okay.
Serena (on phone): Bye.
Vanessa: Well, what do we do tonight?
Serena: I need a partner!
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In entry of Archibald]
Howard: Damn, Anne! I thought I said no starch.
Anne Howard! It's been 19 years we're going in the same dyer. Your shirts are ironed as usual. You know it's not that get upset.
Howard: What annoys me is that I want to be perfect for the evening Eleanor. I'm not allowed to make mistakes. Anne Eleanor knows that you are best placed to introduce his company public, it's you she will choose. Be yourself, it will be fine.
Howard: Well, j't'appelle office, huh. I must reread the offer.
Nate: Mom!
Anne: Oh, Nate!
Nate: Is that-Dad is in trouble?
Anne: Tales of the work, not worry about that.
Nate: Sure.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[On the streets of New York City]
Vanessa: Wow! I love New York. Y'avait cinoch one 'and they went to Woodbury as films for kids: "Babysittor" one year showing.
Dan: Well, Vin Diesel has to be funny after all.
Vanessa: I can not make up my mind, there's too many things. I rather prefer that you choose.
Dan (evasively): Yes, as you will.
Vanessa: You, you do not want us to go to the movies? You were perhaps other projects like a wild s*x with all the rich kids of your private school waiting their inheritance wisely?
Dan: Yeah, besides the limousine is waiting for me.
Vanessa: Cool! We will tag the tires or even die! So, it makes you weird me being there?
Dan: No, why? Why it would make me weird?
Vanessa: Because. You told me some things when I'm gone.
Dan: Things you immediately asked me to withdraw.
Vanessa: Because j'quittais New York, but now I'm here.
Dan: Yeah, except it's been over a year, you see. It's been a lot of things in a year.
Vanessa: And I hope you'll tell me everything! Tonight? Last meeting? Angelica? Any chick that ...
Vanessa & Dan: Unless sittor Baby!
Dan: Okay, I'll book.
Vanessa: It's cool to see you Humphrey!
Dan: J'te do not say.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In the office of Howard]
Chuck: What is you're looking for exactly?
Nate: Evidence.
Chuck: What? An aversion that your father committed to starch? J'compatis to death, inherit the neck collar. You have asked about the money had disappeared?
Nate: Yes, he told me he had made the transfer of accounts. The next day, everything was normal.
Chuck: Then why you worry? Financial transactions a bit dodgy, parents who yell at ... this is our daily lot. (A packet of drugs from the book falls into the hands of Nate) Chi Chi breaks the coconut! I'm in shock! I thought that you did not use as tea.
Nate: It's not for me.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In the living room of the Waldorf]
Blair: Oh no, but that he takes what Dan Humphrey! Serena acted as if nothing had happened but j'vois although she drools. We need to find him someone.
Kati: But we will not have time.
Isabel: The best ones are already taken this evening.
Blair: Stop you scroll! Serena deserves to get hotter. If he has other plans: he cancels them. If he has a girlfriend: it has dropped. And if it is at the other end of the world, chartered a private jet-it! Not disappoint me.
Interior decorator: Ca you please? (Proposing a hookah)
Eleanor: It is a wonder! Oh!
Blair: Do-it was a bang, mom?
Eleanor: Honey?
Blair: I did not know you was addict!
Eleanor: It's a, a hookah. And it is wonderful. It goes with the Moroccan theme of my evening!
Blair: Why you transform our house into an opium den to celebrate your contract with Bendel?
Eleanor: Why not?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[On the streets of New York City]
Blair (on machine): Hi this is Blair! Sorry not to respond to you I'm getting ready for the masquerade ball! So this evening, if you recognize me, which I doubt. Ciao!
Nate (on machine) Hi B. It's me. I, uh ... I really need to talk to you is, this is about my father and, uh ... We must, I wanted to talk to you then call me as soon as you have a second.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In the living room of the Waldorf]
Jenny (laden with parcels): Uh, I think everything is there.
Blair: Thank you're an angel. I do not know what I would have done without you.
Jenny: Nah, it's nothing. I thought it was funny.
Blair: Good! Besides that you learn things. (Seeing the bracelet Jenny) And you seem to learn fast: very pretty bracelet. Vintage, right? Diamonds seem true.
Jenny: That's because they are. The head of the shop lent me.
Blair: Why did he do this? (Jenny embarrassed) Oh my little Jenny! You do still not believe that you were coming tonight?
Jenny: I was hoping for a bit, maybe ... Yeah.
Blair: You know that the graders are not going to a masquerade, it is the rule.
Jenny: Yeah I know but as I saw that there were five dresses ...
Blair: Oh! This is the bare minimum. Think I do a stain or tear my dress!
Jenny: Yeah, sure. I should remember. Have fun tonight!
Blair: It's yes. And not be sad, your time will come, I promise! Well let j'te I must prepare myself.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In Serena's room]
Lily: Do you think Eleanor Waldorf will find this place enough folk? I have a doubt.
Serena: Go with a goat! Eleanor hates us to do things by halves.
Lily (seeing the ball dress of Serena): I feel that too.
Serena: Wait, me about it! In Waldorf, the theme party is perpetuated from mother to daughter.
Lily: You're not with Dan?
Serena: Uh ... Nah. Dan is already taken tonight.
Lily: But by what?
Serena: The question is: by whom?
Lily: Han, I had not realized. In fact, to be honest, it relieves me. At your age, do not deprive themselves of papilloner.
Serena: You can talk about you! It is your rider sexy tonight?
Lily: What? Nah, you're kidding. Who do you want me to go! I'm going to try this dress and see if I can find a goat. Edward (by mail) "Hi Serena! Kati Farkas gave me your email. "
Serena (by mail): "Oh! Hello! Who are you? "(Looking at his profile) You're not Dan but never mind, it will do.
[In the living room of Humphrey]
Dan (answering machine): Hi Jenny! I have a great scoop for you: Vanessa returned to New York. We will s'faire a movie tonight, so I know not if you go to the ball or not but I wanted to know if you wanted to come. So uh ... I'm gonna book it. So, call me.
Gossip Girl (his blog): "Calling all White Knights! Why friends of Serena Van Der Woodsen to find him a suitor? Fairy tales are they at this point out of fashion for the princesses are reduced to simply a replacement? I may be old fashioned, but to be a happy end, the knight must sometimes move your ass and seal his faithful steed! "
[In Serena's room / In the living room of Humphrey]
Edward (by mail): "So what do we do tonight? "
Dan (tuxedos on site): It is perhaps time to be bold after all.
Serena (by mail): "You have a mask? "
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In the living room of the suite of Van Der Woodsen]
Serena (opening the door): Nate! Hello! -What are you doing here? J'croyais that you were, uh ... You're going to be late?
Nate: I'm sorry to bother you, it's ... You got a minute?
Serena: Yes, of course. Between.
Nate: Thank you!
Serena: Yes. (Nate having him tell it all) It may be an old remnant, something that dates back 80, a memory of a night at the Limelight and the Tunnel ... Our parents were more crap than us.
Nate: This is recent. Yes, and I'm not surprised one second. I reckon my father to problems frica.
Serena: You tried to tell him?
Nate: Yeah. In fact that annoys me is that it makes me believe that all is well. Looks like my parents have signed a secret pact to act like robots.
Serena: I do not think this is a secret pact if it. I think all our parents have signed it.
Nate: It's okay, I'm more a kid. He let me stay away.
Serena: Look, if what you believe is true, it probably should be scared. So it will take you to be a little more perseverance if you want it to really listen to you. (Nate annoyed) Hey, not give up! (Nate taking his hand) It's better that you go. I must prepare myself and all that.
Nate: Yeah, uh ... I, too, and I thank you for listening.
Serena: It's nothing. Yes, that's normal.
Nate: Chuck wanted to test the merchandise and B. messaging was on so it was cool that you're here.
Serena: At your service. See you tonight, okay?
Nate: Okay. At any time! Ciao!
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In the living room of Humphrey]
Vanessa: Hey! Is it-I can enter?
Rufus: Oh, hello! You go out with Dan tonight?
Vanessa: We're gonna get a movie. And you're going where? Humphrey in a suit and tie. Hmm, I smell a tryst but ...
Rufus: But my wife left me.
Vanessa: Yeah, but what-happens with Allison? Dan told me she was still in Hudson. J'croyais it was like for the summer.
Rufus: J'le thought also.
Vanessa: Oh, I see. We'll talk another time, it looks complex.
Rufus: Where-I f*cked my keys?
Vanessa: You do not need keys, the window of Dan this is simpler. Where he is anyway?
Rufus: It will not be long in my opinion. So, uh ... Dan looked pleased to see you.
Vanessa: Why? It surprises you?
Rufus: Well, uh ... if I may, when you're gone, you've broken her heart.
Vanessa: And bah I got home. I hated living away from New York, and away from Dan.
Rufus: You told him?
Vanessa: No, not yet. But I plan to tell her tonight, before or after the movie, I know not yet. I have found yet. It will not be obvious.
Rufus: Yeah.
Vanessa: Hmm ... (finding the keys to Rufus)
Rufus: Oh! Thank you! Uh ... You know it, uh ... he spent a lot of things in your absence.
Vanessa: Yes, that's what Dan said.
Rufus: But you've always been close. I'm sure it'll get.
Vanessa: Wish me luck!
Rufus: You too!
Vanessa: So where are you going dressed like that?
Rufus: Oh, it's just a party.
Vanessa: With a friend?
Rufus: Uh ... It's not quite the word I would use. See you later!
Vanessa (his phone rings) Hello!
Dan (on phone): Hey, where is this-that you're in?
Vanessa (on phone): I'm with you.
Dan (on phone): Oh! Oh, you're ahead.
Vanessa (on phone): Yes, j'pouvais not wait.
Dan (on phone): Uh ... I tried to reach you before you go, I want a lot.
Vanessa (on phone): Because I'm ahead?
Dan (on phone): Nah, because, um ... I, I completely forgot that I had an essay to do for Monday so I'll work all night, but, but I rattraperais. Promised, swore!
Vanessa (on phone): With Pierogi?
Dan (on phone): J't'appelle tomorrow.
Vanessa: Jenny! Hello!
Jenny: Hi! (Starting in his room)
Vanessa: Jenny, what does that matter?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In the living room of the Waldorf]
Rufus (arriving with Lily): Remind me why I must see it as a favor!
Lily: Rufus! Look around you. Since when you did not attend the greatest figures of our world? Enjoy it to make you understand, to revive your career faltering, for your little gallery became a place in disaster.
Rufus: Han, you've become the patron saint of former rock stars!
Lily: Oh yeah? You were a star? Listen, go away if you want, j't'assure. Allison would probably furious to know that you come with me this evening, even if it's in your best interest.
Rufus: J'me care what Allison thinks.
Lily: So much the better! I'll introduce you to our hostess. Eleanor!
Eleanor: Ah!
Lily: This is divine! Really, it's like to Marrakech.
Eleanor: Oh Lily! Nan but what a surprise! I did not know if you would be in good company.
Lily: Oh!
Eleanor: Is not he cute!
Rufus: I'm not ...
Lily: It's Rufus Humphrey.
Eleanor: It is a pleasure.
Rufus: Enchanted.
Lily: That's good couscous that I see there?
Eleanor: Yes, help yourself!
Bart (accompanied by Carissa): Hi Eleanor!
Eleanor: How are you? Miss Magic!
Lily: Wow!
Rufus: Have you seen anything?
Lily: No, it's nothing. I love her dress.
Bart: Lily!
Lily Bart!
Bart: Good evening!
Rufus: Hi!
Bart: Uh, I present to you Carissa.
Carissa: Yes, enchanted. Carissa! (Reaching for Lily)
Lily (the greeting): Hi!
Rufus: Rufus! (Shaking hands)
Carissa: Magic!
Bart: Well, well, glad to have seen you.
Lily: Yes, me too.
Bart: Good evening.
Lily: You too.
Carissa: Good evening!
Rufus: You and Bart Bass? Ah, j'comprends better! This is to make him jealous that you invited me? Lily Han, j't'en please! This is ridiculous.
Rufus: You know I find it pretty quite flattering actually. But you could have found better than me.
Lily: Not in so little time.
Howard: Eleanor! Salamalikum!
Eleanor: Oh!
Howard: How are you? This evening is fantastic!
Eleanor: Thank you, you're an angel.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In Jenny's room]
Vanessa: So basically, this girl makes you a slave?
Jenny: Nan, her maid instead.
Vanessa: That's what Jane Austen called slaves.
Jenny: At the same time she ever said that I would go to the ball. I render him service or not.
Vanessa: Hin, hin! Do not try to find excuses, after all you did you deserve to go!
Jenny: J'croyais that you found the masked balls totally cheesy!
Vanessa: This is only my opinion. But if you really want to go, it's not that girl that will prevent you.
Jenny: Nothing to it, I mean, I even have a dress!
Vanessa: I have a friend who works as a costume designer at BAM, we will pay it. What else?
Jenny: I have no invitation.
Vanessa: We go through the door. What else?
Jenny: If Blair sees me she'll be furious!
Vanessa: So this is a chance that you wear a mask.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In the ballroom masked]
Gossip Girl: With us on the side of the Upper East Side, appearances can be deceiving. Keep your eyes open and beware of familiar faces!
[Before the ballroom masked]
Jack: Welcome! It is here or there?
Dan: Well, that's where the lights and zigzag over there it's cars, it avoids them better. Wait, you will see clearer without this stuff! (Him touching his mask)
Jack: Yeah, it's not stupid.
Dan: Hi! Hey, what's your name?
Jack: Jack Hartmann!
Dan: Hi Jack Hartmann! I went out into the air.
Vigil of the ball: Oh, okay. (She opened the gate)
Dan: Thank you!
[In the entrance to the masked ball]
Vanessa (doing so will pass quietly by the back door): Thank you! (Looking at holding Jenny) Well, let me see.
Jenny: Look, I know that you disapprove of worldliness to death these rich kids and all, but ...
Vanessa: I'll reprogrammerais any hour. (Taking the mini-bag and giving it a Jenny fan) That I care, it's hideous. Go, go!
Vanessa: Han, thank you!
[In the ballroom masked]
Blair: We'll start the party girls.
Gossip Girl (Serena dancing with Edward):-What did I tell you about appearances? Oh yes, they could be misleading!
Dan: Oh!
Gossip Girl: But mostly, we do believe that what we see.
[In the entrance to the masked ball]
Vanessa: Hey! You would not see my girlfriend? It was me who his bag and I have his key shot. (A guy the ball making him "no" to the head)
[In the ballroom masked]
Blair: Nah, but what does that makes Nate? He should have found Kati & Isa '! It's late and I cooled!
Chuck: You're stunning beauty. If I was ya man, I would not need clues to find you.
Blair: That I doubt it for a second.
Chuck (watching Jenny): Who is this chick?
Blair: Probably the kind that embeds the tape.
Chuck: This is the kind I like.
Blair: Forget it! Nate go get and put it in the right direction.
Chuck: All in good time. (Starting to see Jenny)
Blair: Han!
Chuck: Hi dear angel! You must be my lucky charm. (Seeing her wrist) And I have a lucky charm that has taste.
Jenny: It seems not, since I speak with you!
Chuck: Beautiful and cruel. Everything I love. You could dance with a poor devil?
Jenny: We could burn this step and find a quiet corner.
Chuck: I'll take out the champagne.
Jenny: And I the quiet corner.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In the living room of the Waldorf]
Howard: Introduce your company public is a huge responsibility and it is better to rely on his first impression. It is even you who taught me, Eleanor!
Eleanor: You know I adore you, this is not the problem. But you have no experience in this field. I met with counselors in Calvin and I must admit that I found remarkable presentation.
Anne: Enough about business, you are bored our hostess. I thought of one thing when your daughter is fiancera with Nate, I would offer him the ring of my great-grandmother.
Eleanor: The Van Der Bilt in that person had given him! (Looking at the ring) Han!
Rufus (LED watch Lily Bart): You keep the spy!
Lily: But I not spy, I just wish that's all informed.
Rufus: So long as thou hast seen it, it will have the advantage. If you want to make a man jealous, there's only one thing to do.
Lily: Rufus, I had invited you here for full of reasons but not for your talent ... advisors conjugate (Rufus kissing) It was rather unexpected.
Rufus: J'lui gives 20 minutes.
Rufus & Lily: I need a drink!
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In the ballroom masked]
Edward: So now, every time we see their yacht, you are obliged to operate the fog horns until they leave.
Serena: Wow!
Edward: In the long run, it's almost a trick to disgust you to spend the summers in Newport, I assure you!
Serena: Ah bah yes, it looks, uh ... horrible!
Edward: It has the.
Serena: Uh, listen, will you apologize? I, I guess it's better than ...
Dan: What you change your partner! Hello!
Serena: Dan! -What are you doing here?
Dan: I just help you.
Serena: I do not need to be rescued.
Dan: Oh yes! Yet watching you, I vaguely felt that you were passing a tough time!
Serena: Dan!
Nate: Yes?
Kati: B. sends us.
Isabel: It's late and she is tired of waiting for you.
Kati: The maid of honor is far less than you think. The fairy of pink feathers and black, it is she who will guide you. Hmm, that's it!
Isabel: It's me!
Nate: What? Uh, sorry?
Kati: You got to find Serena, she has the final index.
Nate: Serena, yes.
Chuck: Boo!
Jenny: Let's play?
Chuck: I'd do a good strip poker but I forgot my cards.
Jenny: J'préfèrerais a game of hide and seek. You hide, I search.
Chuck: And how will you find me? I have no stones to cast.
Jenny: Well, you can always help me by spreading your clothes.
Chuck: I must surely be dreaming.
A guy from the ball (to Vanessa): It's going to you? (From Vanessa)
Dan: Hey Serena! If you-like-.
Serena: Why did you get Dan?
Dan: Why did I come! I ran through the town, I rented a tuxedo, I stole this mask to a poor guy that was even able to stand ... I have to get tricky here, all because I want to you.
Serena: It's not the impression I had this morning when you've lied about this girl!
Dan: What? Wait, wait, I, I have not, well ... in fact so.
Serena: Yeah.
Dan: I lied but I can explain.
Serena: Go ahead, but apply yourself.
Dan: Well I was with my friend Vanessa. We were very close, she moved here last year and she has just returned.
Serena: So, why is it that you told me that it was Jenny?
Dan: Because I'm stupid! I do not know, I know why. Vanessa and I were there ..., there are reports that are a bit complicated. Finally, who were. And then I met you, you. To be honest, somewhere, I was secretly hoping you would ask me this stupid masquerade.
Serena: Well, I planned to invite you.
Dan: Yeah? You're telling me that you will not marry this pretentious snob?
Serena: You're telling me that between you and Vanessa it's over?
Dan: That's exactly what I say.
Gossip Girl: Oh yes! It is by far my favorite part of the ball! When the masks come off and the truth comes out for all to see. (Vanessa attends the scene)
Dan: You'll excuse me? This is the last person I expected to see here.
Serena: Yes, how not to follow!
Dan: Excuse me! Vanessa, Vanessa! Hey! I was not expecting to see you here.
Vanessa: It's funny, I was gonna say the same thing.
Dan: What, are you doing here?
Vanessa: J'travaille on my dissert 'for Monday. Oh, oh no, it's you! J'confonds. Since when we lie to each other?
Dan: Nah, that's not it. I simply failed to tell you the truth. Which is a lie even worse than the other makes.
Vanessa: Humphrey!
Dan: I did not understand either. I am a little confused. And what-you wanted me to say? I went to go rent a tuxedo at a masquerade ball when I had neither masks nor invitation, all that to go find a girl that she had a mask, an invitation, and a jumper!
Vanessa: It would have been honest.
Dan: You hate this environment!
Vanessa: You too. Finally, this is what I thought.
Dan: I do not understand, uh ... we need you to explain. You've followed so far to prove that I am a liar?
Vanessa: Yes, Dan! That's why I'm here. I've tracked down so far because I am completely obsessed with you, and then there is this time that's why I came back to New York because I was just thinking about you day and night !
Dan: OK, I understand, you can stop.
Vanessa: It's going, do not worry, j'me breaks. Hello!
Dan: Wait, wait! If you-like-, wait! Listen, I want. I want to have you lied about tonight.
Vanessa: You said you loved me.
Dan: That's, that was before you leave. I was a prepubescent teen when I told you that. Since there are many things that have changed.
Vanessa: I see it! You do not do things by half, anyway. (Hence)
Serena: So that's ...
Dan: Vanessa, yeah. It is ...
Serena: Super nice.
Dan: I gotta go, excuse me!
[On the roof of the ballroom masked]
Chuck: You heaters! I'm getting closer.
Jenny: I found your pants!
Chuck: Then you burned. I'll eventually catch fire me if you continue like that.
Jenny: Do not worry, you will not be long before you cool!
Chuck: Yeah? -What do you mean by that? (Jenny key to closing the door) Hey what the hell was that! Hey! My laptop is in my fute! I'm stuck here poor idiot.
[Before the ballroom masked]
Dan: Vanessa! Vanessa, wait-if you please! But why not wait for me, huh? (Calling out a girl like Vanessa) Oh! Because you are not Vanessa, sorry. I'm sorry, simple mistaken identity. Congratulations Dan! She even wears no mask.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In the entrance of Waldorf]
Rufus: Lily! You were hiding there.
Lily: I needed to isolate myself a little in view of what ...
Rufus: The kiss.
Lily: Yes. How to say, j'me sense ...
Rufus: Nostalgic.
Lily: nauseous.
Rufus: Okay. Whew!
Lily: Nan, j'te Charie. Whatever, I'm sorry but I have Rufus, then I would perhaps not have to invite you here.
Rufus: I see, uh ... As for me I'm sorry to have kissed but I did it out of devotion for that idiot playboy realizes how much you're more attractive than his pretty young conquest. The freshness of youth passes, whatever I have to admit that you escape completely to this rule. Ultimately, he would bite his fingers. And I thought he deserved to know what it is losing you. I know how hard it is.
Lily (seeing approaching Bart): I think it worked.
Bart: Lily, I can talk to you a moment? If you let it.
Rufus (seeing Lily and Bart away): Wow! Do not thank me.
Bart: What is happening Lily? Why do not you say anything? This is serious ...
Lily: It does not concern you.
Bart: I will bring you back, come with me.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In the women's toilet masquerade]
Serena: Jenny? Hello!
Jenny: Serena! Uh ... You've not seen, right?
Serena: Yes, do not worry about that. There are lots of things I'll try to remember to have seen tonight.
Jenny: It's not going to air.
Serena: I do not know. Dan gave me a surprise coming.
Jenny: Ah bah it's great!
Serena: Yes, except that I was even more surprised when I saw him run after a girl named Vanessa.
Jenny: Nah, it's her best friend!
Serena: Yes, bah it looks to be a bit more than that. Tell me there was something between them?
Jenny: I reckon. Finally, yeah. But Dan never liked a girl like he loves you. The proof: he came to a masked ball. I reckon he would be willing to go anywhere with you. Except perhaps to "Holiday on Ice" is one of her worst childhood memories!
Serena: You know, I guess I should go find him. Except that it will not be easy to find someone with that stupid mask that is not in place.
Jenny: I Want you spin well but mine is better that I stay hidden if I want out of here incognito.
Serena: We exchange if you want?
Jenny: Okay.
Serena: Thank you. Oh! (Giving him his vest) And I want you file it. It's so hot here, and you risk being cold if you go out, like. You've had fun tonight?
Jenny: It could not be better!
Serena: Great!
Jenny (standing out hair): Okay!
Serena (handing him the hair in place): Wait!
Jenny: Thank you.
Serena: Very nice.
[In the ballroom masked]
Nate: Serena says nothing in particular, let me explain.
Jenny: Oh sh1t!
Nate: Look, I tried to reason with me, but I can not. I know that every two to Blair but still I'm gonna have to tell him the truth. I only think of you. I tried to forget you but I am unable. If you do not stop me I'll kiss you.
Serena: Nate!
Nate (Jenny escaping): But ...
Serena: But what-are you doing? Should you find Blair. Well, never mind we drop clues, she wears thigh boots and a large golden tiara. Go go! Hurry.
Blair: Serena, do-Have you seen Nate? (Jenny escaping from his grip) Hey! (Grabbing the wrist of Jenny)
Everyone: 5,4,3 ...
Blair: Jenny.
Everyone: 2.1 ...
Kati & Isabel: It's midnight! The mask off!
Dan: Serena! (Jenny escaping) Serena, Serena! Wait, wait! I'm sorry, Sere ...
[Before the ballroom masked]
Chuck: Little Jenny Humphrey was able to put my ass in the air without my taking the fun! I must say it is an achievement.
Blair: Fortunately another s*x maniac came on the roof, otherwise you'll always be there. And no, I do not know what you did to have this Tuxedo. Come on, I go.
Nate: Hi Chuck! See you tomorrow.
Blair: Hin, hin! You did not find before midnight, the evening ends there for you.
Nate: Look, I'm, I'm sorry.
Blair: All I wanted was that reparte zero. And you have not even tried.
A guy from the ball (with Kati & Isabel): It's going girls?
Chuck: Well at least there is one who spends a good evening.
Serena (on phone): Hello!
Dan (on phone): Serena! Do-you can at least tell me if-you-please? Why did you run away like that? Serena (on phone):-What are you talking about? It is you who have fled.
Dan (on phone): Uh, I think not. A beautiful blonde with a yellow dress and a fur vest, there is one and Serena Van Der Woodsen.
Serena: Nah, not tonight.
Dan: Well, for information you must know that I like you. You and only you.
Serena: And well it's cool because I feel the same.
Dan: That's settled.
Serena: Well ... It seems that "Holiday on Ice" It will stop in New York.
Dan: Oh! If you want to go, so I want to go.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In the office of Howard]
Nate: Hey! You are still standing!
Howard: We are celebrating something.
Anne Eleanor Waldorf has accepted the company of your father takes care of its IPO.
Nate: Great! It's a new superb.
Anne: Yes, indeed. So I went to get something to open this bottle were kept for a special occasion. (Showing the bag of drugs) And that's how I found this. So what? Can you tell me what's it doing there?
Nate: How so?
Anne: Well, it's not me, it's not your father either. And since we are only three in this house ...
[SCENE_BREAK]
[In Jenny's room]
Dan: Hey! We do not sleep?
Jenny: I'm not tired.
Dan: Oh! I'm completely exhausted. You know I went to the ball after all!
Jenny: Oh, really?
Dan: Yeah.
Jenny: Your evening is complete. There's someone for you.
[In Dan's room]
Vanessa: A pierogi? I came in peace.
Dan: So much the better because I'm starving. Listen, ...
Vanessa: Forget Humphrey! Do not pretend to be embarrassed, you look not. Anyway, it is I who owe you an apology.
Dan: Nope not at all, it's me. I should tell you about Serena.
Vanessa: I should have been more curious.
Dan: And I should not have to lie to you tonight.
Vanessa: And I should not have run away so fast. Well, if you want us to be friends as before, we will have to rule certain things.
Dan: You're right. It made me miss having a girlfriend.
Vanessa: And I missed it to be one. Trying to focus on the essentials.
Dan: Like what? Less bullshit and more pierogi?
Vanessa: And you make me a summary of everything I missed. Serena kind ...
Dan: It's good! It is almost as fabulous as these pierogi! The only concern is that she has a mother, you see a little goofy, which I do not gifts. And then there's also her best friend with whom I have great difficulty, but so much evil. But the worst is when there's the boyfriend of her best friend, well then it gets complicated. Because they went out together ...
Vanessa: Oh yeah?
Dan: Actually, he was in love with her best friend too ...


Originally written by Adam Chase
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
Rachel: Here you go Pheebs. Who else wants one of my special homemade brownies?
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
(Phoebe takes a bite and spits it out and screams.)
Chandler: Okay, I'm not gonna have one.
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
Phoebe: No, no, it's just my tooth.
Chandler: All right I'll have one. (he and Ross take another brownie,)
Ross: So what's a matter, you need a dentist? I've got a good one.
Phoebe: No thanks, I have a good one too. I just, I, I can't see him.
Chandler: See that is the problem with invisible dentists.
Ross: Why? Why can't you go to him?
Phoebe: Because, every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienist's blouse.
Rachel: Phoebe, what? Umm...what?!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend 'Albino Bob'.
Rachel: And all these people actually died?
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! That's why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, it's not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didn't kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. It's, it's, it's just ah, a coincidence.
Phoebe: Well tell that to them. Oh! You can't, their dead.
OPENING CREDITS
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?
Gunther: Oh, like you don't already have everything.
Phoebe: (trying to bite into an apple) Ow! Ow! (drops the apple in disgust.)
Rachel: Phoebe, your in pain, would you just go to the dentist, just go.
Phoebe: All right, fine, fine, but if you're my next victim, don't come back as a poltergeist and like suck me into the TV set.
Rachel: I promise.
Phoebe: Although, don't feel like you can't visit.
Joey: (entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here?
Ross: (patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no he's not.
Monica: You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
Ross: What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
Joey: Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.
Rachel: Joey, you can't keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Joey: It'll kill him. I mean it'll, it'll just kill him.
Phoebe: Well, you could wait 'til I go to the dentist, maybe I'll kill him.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, All are there except for Chandler.]
Joey: (looking out the window) Ewww! Ugly Naked Guy is using his new hammock. It's like a Play-Doo Fat Factory.
Phoebe: Well, I'm going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.
Joey: What did they do?
Ross: Well, they painted over the word 'Sapien' for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, let's just leave it at that.
Monica: So, do you want me to watch Ben for you?
Ross: Yes, that's what I was going to ask, thank you.
Rachel: Whoa! Wait! Hello! What about me?
Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths 'Don't worry, I'll be here the whole time.' to Ross.) Yes! That'd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths 'Yeah!' and holds up her thumb.)
Joey: Hey-hey, Ross?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: I've got a science question.
Ross: Hmm?
Joey: If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact 'Homo-sapien', is that why there extinct?
Ross: Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.
Joey: Hey-hey, I'm not judging.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are babysitting Ben.]
Rachel: (holding Ben) Look Benny, spoon. (moves it back and forth) Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think he's bored.
Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) We're gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Ben's head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)
[cut to later]
Monica: (to Ben) Who's so brave, you're so brave, yes you are, you're so brave.
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, he's fine, he's fine, let's just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See that's a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Monica: He's not gonna say anything, because we're not gonna tell him.
Rachel: We're not?!
Monica: No we're not.
Rachel: All right, I like that.
Monica: Okay.
Rachel: So we're okay, we're okay, we're okay, (starts to exam Ben) aren't we? No, we're not okay, we're not okay, there's a bump, there's a bump.
Monica: Oh my God! Well push it in! Push it in!
Rachel: I cannot push it in!
Monica: Okay, we're gonna need a distraction.
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay.
Monica: I got it!
Rachel: Okay.
Monica: The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!
Rachel: Or. We could put a hat on his head.
Monica: A hat! Yes! We need a hat.
Rachel: We need a hat..
Monica: Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat?
Rachel: Oh, oh, oh, I'll get 'Rainy Day Bear'!! (runs to get him)
Monica: Because he'll know what to do? (Rachel comes out of her room with a bear that's dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, you're a genius!
Rachel: Oh God, oh God, it's sowed on though.
Monica: Give it. Give it.
Rachel: Okay.
(Monica takes the bear, grabs his hat, and rips off his head.)
Monica and Rachel: Oh!!
Rachel: Oh, it's just like a bloodbath in here today.
[Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.]
Chandler: Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice?
Joey: I'd really prefer a mountain bike.
Chandler: Janice's birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. Do you ah, want to get her something speacial, get her flowers, get her candy, get her gum, girls love gum.
Chandler: That's a good idea, 'Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday'. I would like to get her something serious.
Joey: Oh, you want something serious. Y'know what you should do, you should get her one of those um, barium enemas. Those are dead serious.
Chandler: All right. Look, I'm gonna go in here, and you don't buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
Joey: (stopping him) No, no, you can't, you can't, okay, you can't, you can't buy her pearls, you just can't, you can't, you can't.
Chandler: Why not?!
Joey: Oh God. Uh, okay, here's the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is...
Chandler: What is the thing?
Joey: Okay. I went down to the 'Mattress King' showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband.
Chandler: (shocked) What?
Joey: They were in his office.
Chandler: Well she, she wouldn't do that, she's with, she's with me.
Joey: I'm telling you man, I saw it.
Chandler: Yeah, well, you're wrong! Okay, you're wrong.
Joey: I'm not wrong! I wish I was. I'm sorry. Bet that barium enema doesn't sound so bad now, huh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are dressing up Ben in the entire rain suit from Rainy Day Bear.]
Monica: It just makes more sense as an ensemble.
Rachel: Right.
Monica: Besides, it takes the focus off the hat.
Phoebe: (running through the door) No! Oh! You're alive! You're alive!
Rachel: See Pheebs, I promised you no one would die, didn't I?
Phoebe: Yeah, well, we'll see about that. Can I use your phone? I just wanna call everyone I know.
Monica: Sure, we have no money, go ahead.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Hey! You're not dead! Okay, see ya!'
Ben: Monica.
Monica: Oh my God! He just said my name! Did you hear that?
Ben: Monica bang!
Rachel: Okay, I heard that.
Monica: Did he just say 'Monica bang'?
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Monica: Oh my God! He's gonna rat me out!
Ben: Monica bang!
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. It's no big deal, it's not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isn't that fun?
Rachel: (goes over and hits her head on the post) Look at that! (repeats) Look at that! (repeats) We all do it. (repeats) Okay, I'm stopping now.
Monica: You okay?
Rachel: Oh yeah! Y'know, if it's not a headboard, it's just not worth it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily fllipping through a magazine.]
Janice: (entering) How's my Bing-a-ling?
Chandler: Ah, I don't know, you tell me. Anything you ah, wanna tell me, because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me.
Janice: Why are your eyes so white?
Chandler: You tell me! Maybe, it's because I was just fooling with my ex! Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, that was you!!
Janice: Oh my God!!
Chandler: All right!
Janice: How did you know?
Chandler: Joey told me, he saw you two kissing.
Janice: In the park?
Chandler: No! In his office! How many kisses were there?
Janice: Just those two!
Chandler: Wh-wh-why, wh-why, why, why was there kissing!? There should be no kissing!!
Janice: Oh, I'm sorry honey, I'm so, so, (nasally) haaaaa! I'm so, so sorry, I just (nasally) haaaaaa! But I, oh what happened was, I-I-I can't breathe. Can you get me a bag, or something?
Chandler: (giving her a bag) Here.
(Janice starts to breath into it and sucks in the reciept, and then spits it out.)
Janice: The receipt.
Chandler: I'll take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) I'm gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
Janice: I don't know.
Phoebe: (rushing in) Okay. If you're alive you answer your phone!
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Monica: Okay, Ben, I won't tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you don't tell about our little bonking incident.
Rachel: Monica, number one, I don't think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!
Joey: You said number two.
Rachel: I also said number one.
Joey: I know. (giggles harder)
Ross: (entering) Hey! Everyone.
Rachel: Hi!
Ross: How's my little boy?
Rachel: He's perfect, he's never been better.
Ross: (noticing the outfit he is wearing) What'd you do, take him whaling?
Ben: Monica.
Ross: Oh my God, he just said your name, that's great! Good job Ben.
Ben: Monica bang!
Monica: Oh that's right, that's what I'd sound like if I exploded.
Phoebe: Woo-Hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know, and everyone is alive.
Joey: Uh.
Phoebe: What?
Joey: Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still. (Phoebe runs to the window and gasps.)
[Cut to later, all except Chandler are staring out the window at Ugly Naked Guy.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.
Rachel: Well maybe he's just taking a nap.
Joey: I'm tellin' ya, he hasn't moved since this morning.
Monica: All right, we should call somebody.
Ross: And tell them what? The naked guy we stare at all the time isn't moving.
Rachel: Well, we have gotta find out if he's alive.
Monica: How are we gonna do that? There's no way.
Joey: Well, there is one way. His window's open, I say, we poke him.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is throwing darts, as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Y'know how we ah, save all those chopsticks for no reason we get when we get Chinese food?
Chandler: Yeah.
Joey: Well, now we got a reason.
Chandler: What?
Joey: Well, we're fashioning a very long poking device.
Chandler: All right.
Joey: Hey uh, what's a matter?
Chandler: I talked to Janice.
Joey: Oh my God, is she going back to him?
Chandler: She doesn't know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I can't even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Joey: What are you ah, what are you gonna do?
Chandler: I don't know, y'know. What, what, would you do?
Joey: Well, it doesn't matter what I would do.
Chandler: Come on, tell me.
Joey: All right, you're probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Chandler: What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. They're like, they're like a family, and if, I don't know, there's chance they could make that work, I know I wouldn't want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross has just finished putting Ben to sleep, and is entering from Rachel's room.]
Ross: Well, he's finally alseep. About that ah, bump on his head?
Rachel: Are you, are you, are you sure it's ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, I've always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child.
Ross: It's okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.
Rachel: (confidently) I did!
Ross: I know! I'm saying you have to watch them all the time.
Rachel: I did!! I watched! I watched! I watched Monica bang his head against that thing!
Ross: Monica did it?
(Monica runs into the kitchen from the terrace.)
Ross: Monica?
Monica: Yeah.
Ross: Umm, did you notice anything wierd about Ben today?
Monica: No. Why?
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly he's leaving out 'e' and 'f.' It's like they just ah, I don't know, fell out of his head.
Monica: Really?!
Ross: Oh, and also, he's, he's walkin' kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and he's in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)
Monica: Oh my God, I wrecked your baby!! (runs into the bedroom)
Rachel: I hope it's still funny when you're in hell.
Monica: (coming out of the bedroom) You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! (starts to chase Ross around the living room)
Ross: Monica bang! Monica bang! (runs into one of the posts) Ow!
Rachel: I'll get the hat.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Janice are there.]
Chandler: Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because it's, it's, it's not gonna be easy.
Janice: Okay.
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I don't wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know 'You're the reason, you are the reason why their not together.' and I hated that guy. And it didn't matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Janice: Wow!
Chandler: Yeah, well. It's the right thing to do.
Janice: Oh! You're right. Oh God. But, before I can say 'good-bye', there's something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, it's like, I finally understand what Lionel Richie's been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, it's like movie love, you're my soulmate, and I can't believe we're not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Chandler: Then don't leave me!
Janice: What?
Chandler: Forget what I said, I was babbling! Pick me!
Janice: No, you were right, you were right. I mean, I-I-I've got to give my marriage another chance.
Chandler: No you don't! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance.
Janice: (standing up) I'm sorry. (hugs him)
Chandler: Ohhh. Don't go.
Janice: No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesn't let her go.)
Chandler: No. No! No! No!
Janice: Honey, honey, people are looking.
Chandler: I don't care! (turns around and to the people watching them) I don't care!!
Janice: Yeah, um, I'm, I'm leaving now. (tries to get her leg out of Chandler's grasp, she finally does, but Chandler takes off her shoe.)
Chandler: You can't leave! I have your shoe!
Janice: Good-bye Chandler Bing. (walks out with one shoe)
Gunther: Rachel has those in burgendy.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
Joey: All right now remember, something this big and long is going to be difficult to manouver, fortunately I have a lot of experience in that area.
Ross: Can we please focus here, a naked man's life hangs in the balance!
Phoebe: I'm telling you he's dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick.
Joey: All right, ladies and gentlemen, let's poke. (they start to advance the giant poking device) Steady. Steady. Okay, a little higher. Careful of the angle. Okay, okay, we're approaching the window (as he says this the camera cuts to their view of Ugly Naked Guy, so that we actually see him!) Thread the needle. Thread the needle.
(They thread the needle and start poking him, he then stirs.)
Phoebe: He's alive! He's a-live!!!
Monica: And yet, we're still poking him.
Joey: Okay, retract the device, retract the device.
Ross: He does not look happy.
Rachel: Hey-hey, now he's showing us his poking device.
Joey: Hey, that's never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!
CLOSING CREDITS
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is listening to a Lionel Richie album]
Chandler: (singing) 'I'll hold you close in my arms. (Phoebe enters) I can't resist your charms. And love....'
Phoebe: (joining him) 'Love....'
Chandler and Phoebe: 'I'll be a fool for you. I'm sure, you know I don't mind.'
Chandler: (high pitched) 'No you know I don't mind.'
Chandler and Phoebe: 'Yes! You mean the world the world to me. Oh..'
Chandler: 'I know.'
Phoebe: 'I know.'
Chandler: 'I've found.'
Phoebe: 'I've found....'
Chandler and Phoebe: '...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love.' (they both look at each other.) 'My endless love.' (once again they don't match tones, and they just look at each other)